The Problem With Self-Inserts Is
by manga.geek.3
Summary: Life-long best friends and anime nerds, Sam and Tori are unexpectedly dropped into the Naruto universe. How will they survive without wifi? What will they eat? How many times can they embarrass themselves in front of hot men? But also..why in the world did they end up there in the first place? (Crack-fic, bursting with fan service and anime jokes. But we promise, there is a plot!)
1. Chapter 1

The Problem with Self-Inserts is...

A Naruto Fanfiction by MangaGeek3

and RoyalVicTorie

Chapter One: That They Always Have Some Ridiculous Premise.

It was a beautiful spring morning. One of those days where you can't help but find your way outside because the air was as lovely as waking up to the smell of baking cinnamon rolls. Though it was only partly cloudy, both Samantha and Victoria found themselves chilling in the backyard of Victoria's freshly bought home.

Now, Victoria wasn't the type of person to go outside and bask in the joy of the wind and sun. It was simply because of Samantha's desire to bask that her dear friend relented. The two were situated on the convenience of two grey lawn chairs in front of the pear tree that had been planted however many years ago (long enough to allow pears to grow every season.) As the two best friends generally did, Samantha and Victoria enjoyed each other's presence all while being occupied with some such thing or other. Most times, the two friends would chill, each taking out a laptop to write on their stories, or playing on their phones. Other times, they would simply talk about anything and everything: from their dream house if they had a million bucks, to what they would do if they were stranded on an island.

Once, they had even delved into what would happen if they ever landed themselves in their favorite anime with only one item. They both had a good laugh when Victoria had taken Kirito's sword into _Wallflower_. Not quite what Samantha had intended, but it had the same effect, anyhow.

While they sat, basking in the light, they talked about their dreams for the future. With neither of the friends married, and no prospects for the future, their lives were taking a different turn then they had imagined. They decided they'd be best friends for life, and perhaps even a little incorrigible when they felt tickled to be so. Oh what sort of grannies they would be when they were old and wrinkly! Until then, though, they laughed about their musings, both secretly planning on making a few of them into reality.

Neither of them could have predicted what would soon become their reality, though. Not in their wildest dreams. Okay, not in their wildest, _realistic_ dreams.

"Hey, Tori," Samantha said, a little curiosity perking her voice, "do you see that?" The woman, just shy of five feet, seven inches, stood from her appointed-by-herself spot, and walked towards something shiny that was poking out of the ground. Victoria's sister had moved into her home with her family to help pay the rent and had effectively taken it upon herself to redo the backyard by planting a small garden next to the pear tree. The little decorations they used certainly made the spot a simple beauty.

Samantha held onto her nerdy hat atop of her head (its backward placement making her feel the teensiest bit cool) while she bent down to grab the shiny object that must have been brought closer to the surface from the digging for the little garden. It was fairly easy to pull the object out of the ground, in any case. After wiping off the excess dirt, Samantha perceived the item to be a small marble, though it shined like diamond. Wonder filled her eyes as she turned to her friend.

"I am so totally keeping this!" Samantha grinned as she walked back to her seat to show off its beauty to her best friend. Victoria, who had been softly singing along to the hipster music spewing from her phone's wimpy speaker finally cracked an eye open against the golden glare of late afternoon as Samantha ambled back across the small yard.

"Keeping what?" Victoria asked, toes still wiggling along to the music.

Giggling gleefully, Samantha bounced into her seat before showing the marble off between her thumb and pointer finger. "This!" The sun bounced off the glass ball's smooth edges, showering the ground in dozens of small lights as if a tiny alien ship had begun its descent.

Victoria shifted a little in the only-so-comfortable lawn chair before reaching out with a "gimmie" wiggle of her fingers. When Samantha didn't immediately give it up, Victoria gave her a wounded look. "Let me see it.." the slightly younger, but more jaded woman pleaded.

Samantha raised an eyebrow, slightly suspicious. "You are seeing it."

"Let me see it with my fingers," Victoria corrected. For extra effect, she gave an exaggerated version of the puppy-dog eyes Tori's little sisters frequently tried on her. "It is from my own yard, after all. Before you play finder's-keepers, ya gotta let me see it, Columbus."

Amused and with a slight roll of her eyes, Samantha admired the stone a moment longer before placing the stone in her best friend's palm. "Alright, fine. But don't drop it! That thing looks fragile."

Behind her thick glasses, Victoria's blue eyes made a thoughtful examination of the mysterious orb. "That's kinda weird," she mused. "It's throwing the light like a diamond would, but it's totally smooth. I wonder if there's something inside that's causing it: like some sort of reverse disco ball. It probably fell off a decoration thingy." She played with it a minute more, twisting the ball to throw light speckles up the side of the pale-pink garage. "What'll you do with it?" Victoria handed it back.

Samantha studiously admired the marble once more, "This'll be a beautiful decoration for my manga bookshelf! There's always room for more knick-knacks. Not to mention," she added, "this thing deserves a display shelf." Letting the sunlight shine against the marble one last time before intending to place it into her pocket for safe keeping, Samantha found her fingers wouldn't budge. "Um…." She cleared her throat, concerned, "This didn't seem to be sticky when you held it, did it?"

Victoria looked up from her phone screen. "Um, no. But maybe your fingers got some pear juice on it. Man, I should really clean up those ones that fell on the ground..." But based on the way she totally settled back into Pinterest scrolling, that was something that was gonna wait for another day, once again.

Snorting before furrowing her brow, Samantha blinked quickly, shaking her hand to try and unstick the marble. "If this were from pear juice, you'd think it wouldn't be stuck like glue!" Truly, try as she might, the pale-blue haired girl couldn't remove her fingers off the marble. "Blast! Maybe this wasn't a good idea," she mumbled, deciding to use her shoe to try and force the marble off. With little success, she turned back to her friend.

"Are you sure you didn't put super glue on this…?" Samantha's voice drifted as she held the marble up to her friend, eyes slightly widening when it seemed to be glowing brighter than before. _Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure this is thing is glowing_! She couldn't help but think as she rested her elbow on the arm of the lawn chair.

This time, Victoria was the one to arch an eyebrow. "Do you see me holding any superglue?" she drawled. "Besides, it takes forever for that stuff to dry enough to actually work." But, like a good friend, she tucked her phone into her bra and grabbed the marble to try pulling it from Sam's fingers. "What the?"

Samantha stared sardonically at her friend, "See?" She said matter of fact, "Now who's the crazy one?" Incidentally, as soon as she made the comment, the marble pulsed against their fingers in tune with the brightness of the light radiating through the marble.

"Uh, Tori, do you see that?"

"Uh..I think so," the normally at least somewhat rational woman said. Tilting her head, Victoria pushed up her glasses using her right shoulder and blinked. "It's..like, moving, right? You felt that too? What sorta voodoo magic is this? You found something super weird in my backyard, Sam-Sam, or is this some gag thing from Loot Crate?"

"You think I'd put in the effort to bury this in your backyard?" Samantha laughed, nervously, "Man, that'd be an awesome prank! But, uh… this is definitely not me." As the two friends spoke, the marble pulsed faster, like a heartbeat. The light grew brighter and brighter until both Samantha and Tori had to shield their eyes from its light. Then, without further adieu, the light engulfed the two friends and it seemed to Samantha as if time had stopped and she could think no more.

* * *

Most normal, sober adults don't deal often with being unconscious. So regaining consciousness was something that Victoria didn't have a great deal of experience with. Bright light, pounding headache, weird muscle soreness: not fun. So once she regained mental connection to her throat, the first thing Victoria chose to do was protest the unfairness of it to the universe. "Owwie…" Distantly, a bird chirped. With that reassurance from the universe that it had at least heard her complaint, she decided to next try opening her eyes a little.

That was not her best plan. She closed them again, real quick. This time, she tried just moving her arms. That wasn't too bad. She could feel grass and dirt and all that. _Outside. Okay. We'll start with that then: I am outside. What happened before I woke up half-dead?_ It took a frustratingly long time to put it together, but by the time she had managed to get sitting up, she could remember the weird ball and the rushing lights. Victoria sighed heavily and rubbed the back of her fist against her left eyebrow in the vague hopes that would stop her growing headache. "Ughh.." Finally, she blinked her eyes back open. It was a blurry world. "Where's my glasses?"

Having also never had the experience of being unconscious before, Samantha groaned quietly, feeling the splitting headache loud and clear. She opened her blurry eyes to view the world around her and noted, with nary a passing thought, that they were "not in kansas anymore".

"Ugh," Samantha growled again, sitting up. Her hand landed on something hard, "Hey!" she croaked out, "It's both our glasses! How in the world did we lose those?" She placed her eyes back on with a practiced ease while handing over Victoria's, "And where in the world are we?"

"What do you mean?" Tori grumbled before managing to apply her glasses. The return of the lenses, however, brought reality more sharply into focus, and that reality was not the tiny backyard full of dropped pears and peeling pink paint. Instead, the two of them were sitting on a grassy outcropping overlooking a large valley like neither of them had ever seen. Towering pine trees sprouted just below their hill like the furry skirt of a very unlikely Christmas tree. Surprisingly far to their left housetops peeked through the tree line, and birds wheeled above it. "Um, dude. What the heck? I've got work tomorrow!"

Slightly amused, though more concerned, Samantha viewed the same scenery as her friend. "I've got no idea. Luckily, I don't work for another two days! This works out in my favor, eh?" She giggled nervously. In the face of unlikely happenstances, Samantha's response tended to be towards the calm side, at least until she knew if there was anything to be stressed about or not. She stood, stretching, rubbing her backside in the process. "How did we end up here in the first place?" She asked, not actually expecting an answer. Except, it was then that she saw the diamond marble, glinting the sunlight innocently several steps away. "The last thing I remember is being in your backyard…" She bent down to pick up the marble.

"Don't touch that!" Victoria shrieked too late. But when Sam didn't disappear in a cloud of sparkly lights, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Seriously, put that down! Or do you want to..whatever the heck happened, again?"

"Good point," Samantha agreed, stuffing the marble in her pocket. When her fingers didn't stick to it, she grinned and showed her friend, "luckily we've got nothing to worry about! Besides… don't you know that when an object is the reason something happened to you, you don't want to leave it behind? Total classic manga action!"

Victoria sighed and ran a hand through her maroon hair. "Nothing to worry about?" she repeated after a minute. "I think we kinda need to be worried about the fact that we appear to have been drugged and then dragged out into the middle of the wilderness while unconcious.. You know, if this is just some elaborate stunt to get me to go hiking with you, I'm gonna be annoyed."

Samantha laughed outright, then, "I don't know enough people to pull off this kind of stunt." She looked around herself, taking in the view of the city down below, "Do you think somebody could've hired Ashton Kutcher to prank us? Who do you know that would be willing to do that?"

It was kind of a scary situation, and Samantha could tell Tori was close to freaking out. Deciding to inject a little humor, Samantha looked to the sky and shouted with a fist, "Curse you, palm tree!" Long ago, a fourteen-year-old Victoria had done the same thing in utter frustration after getting lost in a palm-tree shaped halloween maze. Sam hoped the reminder would calm her down, but it at least helped Samantha herself to laugh.

Knowing she would never live down the infamous palm-tree moment from fifteen years earlier, Victoria didn't bother to point out that they had been undone by a shiny glass ball this time, not a monstrously bad corn maze. She laughed a little too. Sam's joke had worked.

"But really, I didn't do this." Samantha promised. She pushed up her own glasses nervously.

"Well, someone did," Victoria pointed out just as uneasily. "And whoever it was was strong enough to drag my unconscious body. Or at least had enough friends around to do so. That really creeps me out." Shivering, Victoria wrapped her arms around herself. She was not a skinny girl. Her solidness, in fact, was usually pretty comforting reassurance against kidnapping attempts. So this thought was enough to really get her anxiety going. "We should call one of our parents. This is scary."

"That's not a bad idea," Samantha agreed. She went to pull out her phone from her pocket, as she never went anywhere without it, when dread filled her soul. Her phone wasn't on her. You'd think that wasn't that big of a deal, but for how often Samantha listened to her anime music through her phone, not to mention how often she texted her friends and family (and the fact that cell phones were super expensive!) she couldn't afford to lose it.

"Crap, crap, crap!" Samantha panicked, "I don't have my phone on me! Do you think someone would've taken it?" She quickly patted her head, "Oh good! At least I've got my hat!"

Victoria's own hand flew instantly to her collarbone where the reassuring shape of her phone was quickly discovered. "Phew. I at least have mine. Crazy kidnappers didn't touch my boobs." Here, Samantha snickered. "That's reassuring, okay?" Victoria quickly unlocked the screen and flicked to the phone app. But the call didn't connect. "Oh. We're out of service range. I'm not even getting roaming." She frowned a little, seeing that Samantha was still really distressed. "Your phone probably just fell out of your pocket at the house," she assured. "Or..maybe in the grass here?" She immediately began to search through the grass near where Samantha had woken up.

"I hope you're right." Samantha scanned the grass near her as well, finding no evidence of her phone anywhere. "I guess it doesn't matter right now since we don't have any service, but still." In the midst of looking without any success, her stomach growled. Once again, looking up at the sky, Samantha could see that the sun was nearly at its peak. "My guess is that it's about lunch time. We should probably head down towards that city and figure out where we are while we get something to eat." Though she felt naked without her phone, there was nothing either of them could do.

"I guess that's as good a plan as any," Victoria agreed firmly. Slowly, she got to her feet, still feeling a little weak-kneed from earlier. "Man, this sucks." She tossed her hair up into a very messy bun, straightened the skirt of her dress and then nodded confidently. "Well, let's get walking then. Hiking is better than having to pee in the woods, at least. Let's get to that city!"

"Ah, it's not that bad." Samantha laughed, "let's just hope we can figure out _how_ to get down, yo." Tugging down the hem of her very cool Totoro shirt, Samantha likewise straightened the set of her Hidden Leaf hat. Armor in place, the warrior-woman pumped a fist at the sky. " _Ikou_!"

It was rough going, but they did eventually find a place where the cliff down to the treeline wasn't quite so extreme and Samantha, the bolder and definitely more athletic one, began to carefully scoot down it. Victoria initially tried to follow, but when her scooting kept knocking lose dirt and rocks, she opted to wait at the top til Sam was already down. Besides, her grumpy feet were only too grateful for a break. As she waited, Victoria studied the mountains around them, trying to orient herself like she did at home. "More cliffs than mountains," she corrected herself. Tipping her head to the side, she looked at one that looked weirdly like an ear. "One of these rocks looks like an ear," she called down to Sam. Amused, Victoria tried to find other weird rock formations and began to notice that the cliff didn't just have an ear, but it had a jawline too, and what could have been hair. Victoria carefully got to her feet and followed the edge of their particular hill as far to the side as she could. What she could see from the new angle was….just unimaginable. She had to sit down and think very hard for a few minutes. Pulling out her phone, she then took a picture of what she could see. Finally, she stood up and made her way back to the top of the slope that Sam had picked her way down. "Hey, Sam-Sam!" she called.

"Hey, what!" Samantha answered, equally as loud. Down at the base of their hill, Samantha had been scouting: walking along the edge of their cliff and checking for some sort of path through the underbrush. Turning back, she walked to the base of the hill and looked up at her friend who was still at the top. "Aren't you gonna make your way down? I'm hungry!"

Like the veriest lady, Victoria sat down and began to butt-scoot her own way down. "So..hypothetically - since we are so good at the hypothetical game - "

"It's true," Samantha interrupted.

"So, hypothetically," Victoria repeated, unphased, "do you remember when we talked about what anime world we would most want to visit?"

"Well duh, of course I do. We kinda talk about it a _lot_ ," Samantha smirked.

"And I was very pro- _Food Wars_ , cuz it would still be modern Japan, real toilets, cell-phones work, ridiculously good food, but hot Japanese guys, stuff like that?"

"Sure, sure," Samantha drawled, "I'm not sure I get where you're going with this…" She pursed her lips teasingly and raised an eyebrow at Victoria.

"Which one did you always say you wanted? Not _Fullmetal,_ right? Cuz of the creepy zombie-armies and Hitler-man-Fuhrer government."

"Well, true. I did decide against Fullmetal because it was kinda creepy. Plus…" Samantha giggled, "Edward already fell in love with Winry, and Mustang was obviously in love with Hawkeye."

"Right! And so then I countered with how cool _Skip Beat_ would be with all the awesome acting and costumes, but you suggested _Haikyū_.." Victoria stopped in her scooting for a minute to brush some gravel off the palms of her hands. She took a second to also mourn how dirty her leggings were getting.

"Seriously, dude! Getting to watch as the Crows become superbly awesome would just be… well… freaking awesome! Not to mention getting to _finally_ see how the Little Giant works… ah man… that'd be so cool!" Samantha couldn't help but fangirl about her favorite mangas and animes, she just felt _way_ too much passion about it.

Victoria eyeballed her friend for a long moment. Samantha really was a super awesome friend, but she was sometimes a little too main-character. Tori wasn't quite sure how Sam was gonna react to what she had seen at the top of the hill. And if they were somehow stuck in some ridiculous anime-esque storyline, Sam's reaction was gonna ultimately dictate whether they were gonna end with a comedy or a tragedy. Tori, for all her nihilistic humor, did ultimately like being alive if only for her cats, Dr. Pepper, and Netflix. So..it was at least a little important they didn't die on the side of the mountain or end up being horribly tortured by homunculi. "So..hypothetically, what would you do if you ended up in the Hidden Leaf village?"

"Hypothetically?" Samantha repeated, curiously, "Well, obviously I'd wanna see which era we were in, because getting stuck in Hashirama's era would kinda suck. A lot. If anything, I'd hope we were in Naruto's era! I mean… for how much he grows… he's an awesome character. Not to mention getting to meet Shikamaru and Gaara and Kakashi… maybe even Jiraiya. Dude, that'd be so cool!" Victoria's eyes glazed a little. She was not nearly as fervid a fan of Naruto and was probably only recognizing like a third of the names. Samantha tucked her thumbs into the tops of her pants pockets and gazed off thoughtfully at the mountainside. "Granted, I'd probably obviously be wondering how I was going to get back to our world, because… ya know… I have cats to feed, and debt… lots of debt… ugh… Maybe I would just enjoy my time there because then I wouldn't have to think about paying bills." The idea that she'd never had to pay her bills again sounded amazing; Samantha could've drooled.

"Do you think you'd, like, be able to live there okay?" Victoria asked, slowly scooting the last five yards. "You know quite a bit. Could you blend in as a ninja, do you think?"

"As a ninja? Well, that'd be super awesome! But I wonder if I'd be too old," Samantha mused, "I guess I'd try it. My best bet would probably be Hinata! I mean… her style is most similar to the karate I've taken." She thoughtfully glanced at their surroundings as she spoke, "but live there? Forever, you mean? I don't know. I feel like it'd get kinda lonely without family, ya know? Then again, I've never been in that situation so, who knows? Maybe I'd be fine! It'd be fun for a while, in any event!"

Victoria pursed her lips thoughtfully and then nodded her head. "Well, whoever drug us up that mountain, they must have been at least as big of fans as you," she declared.

"Why?" Samantha asked, curious. She held out a hand to her her friend as Tori neared the bottom.

Gripping Sam's hand, Tori pulled herself up. She dusted her dress off and then pulled out her phone. "Cuz look what crazy thing I saw carved into the mountain up there." She passed over the phone, opened to the picture she had taken a few minutes before. The golden sandstone had been painstakingly carved into a man's face with hard eyes and a very distinctive headband. "That's a Hidden Leaf symbol, right? Like the main village in Naruto?"

"And you took that?" Samantha asked, skeptically, "Just now?" She turned her gaze up the rocky hill, trying to see what her friend saw. What Tori was suggesting seemed a little too crazy.

"Yeah," Victoria said. She played with a loose strand of hair that had fallen from her half-hearted bun. "Weird right? The only thing that I can figure - the only thing that makes _any_ kind of sense is that some crazy super-fan carved it and then for funsies kidnapped two random people to drop off in a place where they could almost see their Mount Hokage-More.. Which is super weird, but somehow otaku serial killer is way more logical than, what, we got pulled into another dimension and are only a few miles away from the actual Hidden Leaf village?" She laughed, to show it was a joke, but there was a little too much strain in it to be light-hearted. The mountain had been huge. It was too crazy to imagine anyone actually going to that level of fan service for a show that had only been around for a decade or two. Jane Austen fans rebuilding Pemberley? Sure! Carving a mountain for a minor character that gets mentioned only a few times? No way..

"So, kind of like the Truman show… except we obviously have knowledge of the plot and whatnot." Samantha hummed her response, "the only weird thing - well, apart from the possibility that we're _in_ Konoha, is that I never saw anyone come into your backyard. Did you?"

"Well, no," Victoria confessed. "But - I don't..I don't know. This is all super weird. I just want to get to that village, call my mom, and figure out how to get home. And I'm definitely gonna call in a sick day for work cuz I'm gonna be way to freaked out for the next seven years to think about anything else. And I'm getting myself a security system." Victoria began to stubbornly and determinedly stomp towards the vague promise of civilization to the left.

Samantha chewed on her lip, thinking about the possibilities, before belated realizing Tori had already begun walking again. "Yeah, it's definitely weird." She stated once she caught up. They walked for a while in silence, trudging their way closer towards the city. Samantha occasionally watched her feet as she walked, not wanting to trip as she sometimes did so when lost in thought. The possibility that they were in an anime was unlikely. The more realistic idea that they had been kidnapped but a crazy-otaku fanatic was most likely what had happened. They'd definitely been ambushed. Samantha secretly wouldn't have been surprised if it was Tori's neighbors. They weren't really friendly with Tori or Samantha when she was over and they were all outside at the same time.

Soon enough, they'd come across the outskirts of the town. The houses, while seemingly new, had the flair of Japanese-esque styles. Victoria insisted they stop before they passed the first house to wait to see if any people were around. There were plenty of chickens clucking in one yard, and there was a goat bleating somewhere further down the road. Ducking down behind a fence, the two unwilling travelers debated fiercely about how crazy the theoretical serial killer had to be to construct a full town and feed the chickens or if it was just a peaceful village that had a serial killer lurking in its woods and defacing the mountains. "Well, I guess it just comes down to the fact that I still don't have cell service," Victoria finally declared, defeat in her voice, "So you win. We will go walk into the village and hope it isn't some mega trap that's gonna end with us raped and dead."

"Well… we _could_ steal a buncha eggs and cook them." Samantha offered as a second option. "I'm super hungry," she pointed out with a smirk, "in case you couldn't tell."

"Stealing is a bad idea for two reasons," Tori retorted, "First, it makes Jesus sad, second, it would be a great way to get us arrested rather than actually getting us home. We are not kidnapping a chicken either. C'mon. Let's go get you some ramen." She bravely stood up and stepped away from the questionable cover of the picket fence.

"That's _only_ if this place is actually Konoha that we'd get arrested. But alright," she conceded, "ramen should be fine. I hear that Ichiraku's is amazing!" She laughed to herself, "Ichiraku's is the place that Naruto always eats at!" She offered, in case Tori had no idea what that meant. After all, it was Samantha who was the lover of the Naruto anime.

"Ha. Ha." Victoria scowled playfully. Rolling her eyes, she tossed her hair saucily. "Very funny. You're just lucky I have my wallet. But you are so buying me some Wendys when we get home."

At the mention of money, Samantha stopped in her tracks. "Uh oh. What if they don't actually take our money…? What if we go hungry? What would we do, then?" She lamented at the thought of not getting any food any time soon.

Victoria stopped and placed her hand on her friend's elbow. "Samantha," she said gently, "It'll be okay. We are gonna find someone to help us get to the police. They will help us contact our parents. They'll make sure we are safe, and I bet they will help us get some food too, okay? Worst comes to worst, we can find someone to buy my iphone, okay? Just...don't be so hangry and trust me, alright? I panic often enough that I think of every possibility. I got a pretty good idea how to keep us alive if this is any kind of regular human Earth village. You just decide what to do if it is actually Kona-hu-whatever, kay?"

Samantha scoffed, "Me? Hangry? I don't think that's a real thing." She playfully stuck her tongue out at her friend, "but alright. Sounds like a plan." They began walking in the direction where they saw people milling about the streets on the other side of the farm they had stopped in front of, when they both heard a loud huffing coming from down an alleyway to their right.

"C'mon, Lee! You can do this! Only three more miles left to go!"

"Okay, sensei! And if I can't do these last three miles, then I'll make sure to do at least one-hundred laps around Konoha on just one leg!"

"That's the spirit!" Cried the same voice encouraging the other. Their huffing intensified, sounding to Samantha as if it were getting closer to their position. So surprised at the voices (well, most pointedly, the names they were proclaiming) that neither Samantha, nor Victoria noticed the two men coming from the alleyway _behind_ them. Apparently, the two character's had been so immersed in their own training or… whatever it had been they were doing, they didn't notice the two girls in front of them and Samantha soon found herself being bowled over on her side by a blur of green. For the second time that day, Sam hit the ground, hard. Elbow banged and legs sprawled, she squawked in surprise and pain. It was like all the air left her lungs at once and left fire behind. Coughing roughly, she only managed to push herself up onto one arm before she suddenly felt someone very, very close to her. A man, presumably the one who had just smashed into her was laying on the ground beside her, closer than she could possibly handle. He was huge, easily six feet tall and muscled like a boxer. His heavy tactical vest was brushing against her shoulder and her eyes were automatically directed to his adam's apple just above the ribbed neck of his green sweater. Finally, her eyes were drawn upwards.

Stunned, by more than just the lack of air, Samantha could only blink, uncomprehendingly at the face that was too, too close to hers: the black, bowl-cut hair. The thick, bushy black eyebrows. The white teeth that gleamed in the sunlight. He was a real man, not some anime drawing, but there was no denying she recognized that face. She knew that face! "..Might Guy?"

* * *

 **AN: Welcome, fans, to our comedic awesomeness! This is a collaborative effort between me, MangaGeek3 and RoyalVicTorie. Obviously, it's a self-insert, so there's going to be plenty of content that we don't own. Such as, the Naruto-verse, Ashton Kutcher, Wendy's... et cetra. This'll be the only disclaimer so watch it well! xD The only thing we own is our plot. And That is all. :D Hopefully ya'll enjoy this fic, because we have certainly found it hilarious to write. And, as always when it comes to Fanfiction... please _read and review!_ We love comments! **

**To our awesome reviewers, readers, followers and favoriters! Enjoy!**

 **Until Next Time! Ja'ne!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: ...That It Always Requires A Bit Of Quick Thinking/Lying**

Her sudden cry of 'Might Guy' startled both Samantha and the man in question. He quickly lifted himself off of her person before bowing low in apology.

"I am so sorry, miss! Not only have I knocked you over, but I have also misplaced your name. You seem to know me, but I cannot recall you. How very un-youthful of me!"

"Uh," Samantha stared, shocked. Might Guy, the man who considered Kakashi his personal rival, was standing right in front of her, but all Samantha could think of was that this was some elaborate scheme to fool both her and Victoria. With a quick glance at Victoria, Samantha could see that her friend was just as confused and perhaps terrified for her sake. Clearing her throat, Samantha glanced back at the man in front of her, briefly noting his "student" standing just behind him, staring unabashedly between the two of them. "I can't say I'm surprised you don't know me… I mean… we've never met before." She studied the man a little closer, "but it really is crazy how well you pull off that outfit! Seriously. I kinda want a picture…" She'd mumbled the last part.

"Where are we?" Victoria blurted abruptly. The fact they had found someone that spoke English was super hopeful - granted, the amount of detail in the cosplay was probably indicative that this dude was on the side of the serial killer. Victoria shared a worried look with Samantha and then instinctively scooted behind her friend. To her mind, Sam's purple belt in kenpo was probably the most useful thing they had just then. "We're kind of lost."

"Two ladies, lost! We can't have that, now can we, Lee?"

"No sensei!" The younger of the two replied, enthusiastically. Rock Lee was a surreal presence. He was simultaneously the scrawniest thirteen-year-old Victoria had ever seen, but also the one with the most...raw physical presence. Like, he looked like he was made of pixie sticks, but somehow you could totally tell that he could probably pick up and literally throw a cow. Top that all off with a bowl-cut and… Well, it was just too weird. Tori was sorta staring, but it was just because she could not quite reconcile the impression with the appearance. Maybe she had hit her head when they got dropped on the mountain…

"How did two youthful young ladies end up lost in the lustrous town of Konoha? Being an elite Jounin, I will take it upon myself to help the two of you get to your destination!"

"Eheheh," Samantha responded. She couldn't really decide if the man was being serious or if he was hired to impersonate Might Guy down to the man's core essence of his love for youthfulness. In any case, he had offered both of them the safety of an escort, and while a part of Samantha wondered if this man and his lackey were a psychopath bound to kidnap them inside of their kidnapping (or they're the ones who did the drug induced kidnapping in the first place,) another part of her wanted to accept his help. After all, being totally lost in a strange place was kind of frightening. Though, getting to see a live action of one of her favorite anime's was kind of a cool concept. Unfortunately, Samantha had no idea how to respond to the man's question. She silently pleaded that Tori would get the hint and come up with an idea, and fast. After all, they couldn't keep their company waiting.

"Oh, well, we were traveling," Victoria offered quickly. Her many years of writing adventurous stories helped her quickly build the lie. Samantha's eager "Mmhm!" prompted her to continue. "Nearby. And, well, we had some trouble and we had our map stolen. And then..lost our luggage. Over a cliff, ya know. Rough trip. Anyways, we're just trying to get in contact with our families. I don't suppose you gentlemen could help us?" For extra innocent points, Victoria whipped out a worried but hopeful expression...it wasn't too far off the terrified but desperate feeling that she really wanted to express.

At the end of Victoria's explanation, Rock Lee (or the kid doing a marvelous job at cosplaying,) staying so well in tune with his character, had tears streaming down his face.

"We must help them find their families, Sensei!"

"You're right, Lee! We must!" Might Guy walked forward and placed a comforting hand on the two friends' shoulders, "Don't worry, you two. We will help you-!" At this point in time, Samantha's stomach gurgled once again, signifying to all that she still needed some food in her belly. Samantha's eyes widened in embarrassment.

"Uh," She stated oh so eloquently once again, "Sorry! It's been a while since we last ate…" She laughed nervously as the man impersonating Might Guy and his student, Rock Lee, both had a gleam in their eyes.

"Well, Lee, I think you know what we must do next!"

"Right!" Rock Lee emphasized with a short fist pump, "We must not let them go hungry!"

"But," Samantha interjected, "We don't have any money. It was stolen." After all, if they were in a place pretending to be Konoha, it was most likely that they didn't take normal cash. Samantha wouldn't be surprised if the coins and bills they carried had the faces of the Hokages on each one.

"Such a tragic tale!" Rock Lee gushed, as Might Guy said,

"Do not worry! We cannot make two youthful, spirited ladies starve."

The two green-spandexed menfolk began to boldly stride forward, loudly narrating the history of the town and its sights. Victoria groaned, but forced her poor, aching feet to start to jog along with their insanely healthy pace. Samantha, a much faster walker, did not seem to struggle the same, but they both naturally fell into step just behind the crazos. The village began to more properly converge: neat houses and tidy yards replacing the farms. There were people too: kids, adults, grannies… way too many to be a prank. The costume budget alone.. _Something is really not right here_ , Victoria fretted. _Either they are all drinking the special kool-aide or I am._ "It's - it's a cult," she panted softly to Sam. "A Naurato-cult. We finally found your people, Sam. Can we go home now?"

"Hey! I would never join a cult," Samantha whispered her affronted pout, "But you have to admit, this is pretty cool, even if a little intense! I mean… at least in the sense that something this elaborate is pretty cool to be able to see in person. Just look at the houses! Let alone the Hokage Mountain," Samantha looked pointedly towards the mountain, the faces still very close to their view, if not slightly hidden by the houses and shops they were passing by. Her hazel eyes sparkled, fangirling at the awesome houses and culture, even if it scared her. To have people be so crazy to form an actual city… Samantha loved anime, and even collected action figures and sometimes cosplayed at Comic-Con but… she'd never delude herself into thinking she was actually a ninja. Not like these people seem to have done. Point in fact, the two in front of them, leading them to get some food.

"Well...I suppose this could all just be in our heads," Victoria offered after a second. "Maybe it wasn't a magic marble you found in my yard, but a magic mushroom. This is some kind of hallucinogenic contact high and we have to try to just ride it out until we get sober. Maybe we are just in my living room right now stoned out of our minds?"

"That's the least likely possibility that I have ever heard. There'd be no way that we'd be hallucinating the exact same thing. Especially since you can hardly remember any of the characters!" Samantha giggled softly in response, "Magic mushroom… that marble was _way_ too solid to have been something like that. I can prove it!" She pulled out the marble from her pocket, "See?"

"Maybe we managed to get the tv on… Guh. You're being too logically illogical," Victoria declared petulantly. "You probably want the real answer to this to be that we are in some crazy alternate dimension." She gasped suddenly, "That's it! You want this to be a different dimension so that you don't have to pay bills or clean your room!" She pointed an accusatory finger. "I see right through you, Samantha Winter! I finally figure out the real reason the world's upside down but you just want to keep it on its head." She scowled, but not with any kind of anger. They were the kind of friends that teased but very rarely actually fought. Their friendship was way too important to be mean to each other.

"Hah! My room is clean, thank you very much." Samantha pronounced smugly, "besides, your point doesn't make any sense. Even if we had Naruto playing in the background, we _still_ wouldn't be dreaming the _exact same thing._ " She gestured grandly at their surroundings as she spoke, "Besides… it would be kinda cool if this were real… don'tcha think? I mean… think about it! Real ninja's! Jutsu! How freaking _awesome_ would it be to see a rasengan? Or even a rasenshuriken?" Though the idea was fascinating to her, Samantha still pouted at the end, "But it probably isn't… I think your theory earlier of being drugged and kidnapped is the most likely thing to have happened."

For a moment, the true terror of that idea showed on Victoria's round face. "That's the one I least want it to be," she said weakly. Rather pathetically she leaned her cheek on Sam's shoulder, even if it was awkward as they scurried after the ninjas. "Sam..I don't see how there can be any kind of happy ending for whatever the heck is happening, but I think I'll go totally crazy if I let myself think that some psycho is using us for his own twisted version of "The Most Dangerous Game." So..I'm gonna stick with the mushroom theory, okay? Even if Jesus would be super sad at me for accidentally doing drugs.."

"I think Jesus would forgive you for this. Considering we didn't even mean for it to happen." Samantha placed a finger on her chin, racking her brain for any other possibilities. There was one thing that she could think of that would either prove or disprove their theory.

"Uh, excuse me!" Samantha called out to their escorts. Both turned swiftly towards them, Might Guy sporting a dazzling smile and Rock Lee with determination gleaming in his own smile. "You're ninjas, right?" Sam asked.

"Why yes, dear lady, that we are!" Might Guy declared as Rock Lee nodded emphatically his agreement.

"So, we've never had the chance to see real ninja do their thing..like walking up walls and stuff. Could you show us?" To Samantha, this was the perfect way to know whether or not the men in front of them were telling the truth or not. As of yet, they'd seen no other ninja, and even if there were other ninja in the area, they were most likely the Anbu Black Ops, so they were unlikely to see them anyway.

Victoria tugged sharply at Samantha's elbow. "Dude! Don't go poking holes in their worldview," she hissed. "If they can't do it, the game's over and they lock us up and you'll _never_ get your food. Think of the ramen, Sam!"

Samantha glanced at her friend with a furrowed brow before Tori's response made her wonder if she were right. Would they really lock them up _before_ they got the food? "How do we know that's where they're leading us to in the first place? What if they're just using that as a disguise for locking us up!"

Sending a pointed look back to the ninjas, Victoria pursed her lips tightly closed, reminding Sam that while the men had been distracted earlier they weren't exactly deaf now. She then did her best to laugh off what they might have heard Sam say. "Sorry. She's got a weird sense of humor. You both are being so awesome to help us. You don't have to show off any ninja skills. It's totally cool."

Samantha lightly jabbed Tori's shoulder, huffing with a pout. However, the men in front of them had been distracted enough that Rock Lee looked positively enthralled with the idea.

"There is no way that we could not follow through on a lady's request! Right, Guy Sensei!"

"Right, Rock Lee! Such youthful desires should never be ignored." Might Guy, ever the kind sensei, nodded to his student to impart his permission. The scarecrow-like boy excitedly pumped his legs up and down like a sprinter preparing for a one hundred yard dash. He then flexed, amping up the drama of the moment before running straight towards the plaster-coated wall of a storefront. The two women's eyes went wide as he not only made the first two or three steps up - any decent parkourer could do that - but then, impossibly, he kept going...and going. Within a minute the kid was cheekily waving down from the roof of the two-story building.

Samantha stared up at Rock Lee in awe, her heart flipping at the sight. "There's two possibilities here," She whispered to Victoria, "Either, he's got a harness on and climbed the wall that way, or… That was legit."

"...I'm definitely high," Victoria lamented. "Dang it. I knew I should have mowed my yard more often."

Might Guy, watching on at their awed looks, laughed heartily. "That's the spirit, Lee!" He turned towards the two girls, animatedly giving them a thumbs up with a smile Samantha was sure he meant to be a killer heartthrob. Don't get her wrong, Might Guy was definitely an attractive man, but if she were to be honest… Samantha would be far more attracted to Minato Namikaze. The character had most certainly been drawn to be a good looking character. On top of his personality… it was too bad they'd never get to meet the guy. After all, they had been placed in a town where the actor who played Might Guy was grown up. Which meant that, if it followed the timeline of the series, Minato was already passed away and wouldn't appear. It was too bad. Then again, if this were all a trick, probably best that Samantha didn't meet a guy she was totally attracted to. He could be a serial killer for all she knew. Except… the evidence both she and Victoria had seen just then nearly made Samantha want to believe that what they were seeing was real. Albeit scary to know that they had no way of contacting their families ever again.

Victoria, dazed, but determined now to accept this strange world as, at least temporarily real, blinked around at the village and the strange man who, for all she could tell, was somehow an actual ninja. If teenagers could sprint up walls, then this guy in front of her knew twelve dozen ways to kill her. Somewhere out there were giant toads and men that could dissolve into thousands of bugs. It was a crazy, hallucinogenic dream, but somehow it was actually being consistent. Which meant, as long as she followed the rules, there was a chance of them being okay. _There's not a serial killer!_ Pure relief poured through her and left her stomach-clenching anxiety weightless and adrift in its wake.

But the floaty haze of her acceptance did not block out the sudden hardening of Might Guy's dark eyes as Samantha unconsciously turned her head. When Samantha got to thinking, she almost always adopted the same pose: thumbs tucked in her pants pockets and gaze focusing out over her right shoulder. It was a rather heroic pose, but the problem was, when Sam did that now, it placed her super cool hat as the main item in Might Guy's sight. Victoria's anxiety came thundering back only too quickly: she and Sam were far from safe yet, especially based on that look! Danger seemed to shriek from his jaw line and even Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones had never managed to look so threatening. Something he had noticed had made this "Mike Guy" angry.

Leaning around, Tori realized suddenly just which hat her friend was wearing: a very cool, but wholly inappropriate for their cover story, black cap with the iconic metal Hidden Leaf headband.

"Oh!" she gasped. "S-Sam!" Her sudden grip on Samantha's elbow disrupted the other woman's daydreams about Minato. "You should tell Mike Guy about your hat! Cuz - cuz you got it from someone, right? Like- like a friend? Or something?"

"Huh?" Samantha said ever so gracefully, "What're you…?" Realization dawned on her face when she fully understood the predicament they were in, "Uuuh, right! It was given to me. As a, uh… momento! From a friend!"

Might Guy looked at her skeptically, "And who is this friend of yours?"

"You wouldn't know him!" Samantha quickly said, racking her brain for who in the world that friend could be. Might Guy tilted his head, still disbelieving.

"What's his name? I'm sure I would know any ninja who comes from Konoha!"

"Er," Samantha responded awkwardly _Crap, crap, crap! Think! What's a name in Naruto that could be believable! Oh!_ Eyes twinkling, Samantha couldn't help the smile that creeped upon her face, "His name is Tobi!" She announced matter of fact. If only to assure the confidence she felt. Might Guy furrowed his brow, taking notice of Rock Lee who had jumped from his position on the roof to stand, precisely next to him. As if the parkour move needed no jump-and-roll to assume a safe landing.

"I don't know this Tobi." Might Guy replied with a frown.

"He was a friend that I knew quite a while ago," Growing up, Samantha had never been a very good liar. Whenever she had tried, she'd always end up with a tiny smile on her face. Usually in the midst of her lying. So it was in her favor that she'd been smiling at the announcement!

Might Guy still looked unconvinced, but couldn't question Samantha further. She chalked it up to the fact that he couldn't dispute her claim. After all, people went by many pseudonyms when on the road. The man could've been someone who had even stolen a Konoha headband. In any case, Samantha just smiled cheekily as if nothing was wrong. She was good enough at keeping her head even in the craziness that somehow her calm came across as honesty. It was just one of the reasons Tori accused her of being much too main-character some days. She proudly lived up to her Gryffindor status.

Silence had settled uncomfortably between the three of them, and Rock Lee's slow blinking was rather fascinating to watch as he and Might Guy sized up Samantha and her lying face. Lee had ridiculously long lower lashes, after all. A passing dog barked at the lot of them for their standing in the middle of the road. Victoria shifted her weight from one aching foot to the other, grimacing from the pain left by their unanticipated several mile hike. "Ma-maybe we could sit down for a bit?" Victoria asked weakly. "I'm sorry, but it's been a really, really long day for us.."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Samantha agreed, enthusiastically. Another growl rumbled through her stomach and Samantha marched forward towards the shinobi with a fist in the air. "On to the ramen!"

* * *

They soon found themselves sitting in the little ramen shop known as Ichiraku Ramen. Samantha was beside herself with excitement. Being able to sit in _the_ ramen shop that Naruto so enthusiastically boasted about was a marvel no one could say they'd get the privilege of experiencing. Until today. Samantha gleefully looked over the tiny menu, ignoring the hussle and bussle going on behind them. The shop was set up nearly identical to the anime, though Samantha could see the tiny differences between the anime and reality. Considering the fact that this was real life and that was just drawings, it made sense.

In any case, Samantha paused to glance over at her friend, hoping her glance was somewhat reassuring. After all, Samantha knew that she, herself, could endure any circumstance they were put through, but they hadn't had a chance to really talk about their current situation. Taking a sidelong glance to her left, where Might Guy and Rock Lee both sat (they _had_ been training, perhaps they always ate after training? Either that or Rock Lee was just curious about them) Samantha studied the man who was considered the Green Beast of Konoha. His impersonation was flawless. Whoever hired him (and Rock Lee, too) did their research. Noticing the older man with equally large eyebrows look at her, Samantha quickly turned her gaze towards her menu.

Victoria sighed softly and discreetly nudged the backs of her shoes off to give her aching arches a little relief without risking the possible foot stink of full shoe removal. She had asked Samantha to order for her; the menu was written in Japanese despite everyone around them speaking perfect English. Yet another inexplicable oddity that she was worried even accidental drug use wouldn't explain away. Tori had the very uncomfortable feeling that somehow or other, this was reality. It certainly wasn't a dream. The past hour had really battered her mental state back and forth, and she finally had a chance to sit and think through it all. Closing her eyes against the sight of the squiggly menu, Victoria mentally whispered a tiny prayer for strength, safety, and calm thoughts. Heaven at least would know what the heck was going on. And then she blessed the food. Just in case.

By the time the bowl of steaming hot ramen was in her belly, Victoria was feeling the comfort and assurance she had prayed for. It didn't matter how or why all this was happening: she just needed to be herself and be true to her morals. Everything else was gonna be okay. A small smile found its way back home and Victoria shared it with the blissful Samantha. "Was it as good as you hoped?" She teased.

"Oh dude," Samantha commented, happily slurping the last bit of noodle, "this really was just as good as Na- uh, as he said it was." Another sidelong glance at Might Guy had Samantha hoping the man didn't hear her near slip up. After all, why would she know who the heck Naruto was? "What about you? Did you enjoy your ramen? The miso is delicious, right?" She wiggled her eyebrows at Victoria, happy to see the semi-contented look. Food really did bring miracles. A well-fed Samantha could at least acknowledge that her hangry self was a sight to behold. Her feet kicked back and forth as they sat, unable to keep herself completely still, not unaware of the shinobi listening in on their conversation.

"It was pretty darn good," Victoria agreed. "Does it measure up to two years ago? When you...went on your trip to Mt. Fuji?" Tori wasn't sure how much geography matched up so avoiding real world city names like Tokyo sounded smart.

As Samantha discussed the difference between real-Tokyo ramen and dreamworld-Konoha ramen, there was a small, rippling change to the air about them and the bustling market side just at their backs seemed to suddenly gain twice the volume. The sound of teenage voices cut sharply over the hubbub and suddenly the cloth drape directly behind Samantha was tossed violently up. "Hey, old man Teuchi!" called a young but surprisingly husky voice, "You gotta move this line out here! I'm starving!" The two women spun about on their chairs and there HE was.

Naruto Uzumaki. It was immediately apparent to Samantha that this was Naruto from the earliest years of the anime. He didn't even have his headband yet! He was surprisingly short but built rock tough. His yellowy hair bristled up around his square features like a startled hedgehog. The distinctive slashes across his cheeks were more like birthmarks or connected freckles than the tattoo-like look one might have expected. His huge, bright blue eyes were commanding and practically burning with passion and the desire to succeed. He also was way too thin for his muscles - like he never quite got enough of the right things to eat. And he had bruises on him: some fresh and others a week into healing.

Victoria's first and most primal instinct was to hug the little bugger and ruffle his ridiculously messy hair. He looked so, so much like her little brother. "Oh, wow," she breathed. But little brothers shouldn't be bruised up and look like they had the weight of the world on their tiny, orange shoulders. She wanted to just wrap him up and take him home to where he could be a normal little kid. But..normal little kids weren't sorta possessed by powerful rage-driven demons. She had to remind herself of that and the fact that this wasn't real.

The moment that she first heard him speak, all Samantha could think was "Naruto!" in that whole "holy crap it's my favorite character!" kinda way. Her heart skipped a beat and the instant he finished his complaint towards the ramen guy, Samantha turned to view the iconic character that had changed people lives just for his perseverance and determination. Even his voice, amazingly, sounded similar to the English voice actor, though how that was possible, Samantha would never know.

Naruto, in all his grandeur from the anime, was perhaps thinner than the author, Kishimoto, had initially hinted at. Though some bruises forming on the boy's body were fresh, other's looked to be about a week old or so and _wasn't he supposed to have regenerative abilities?_ Naruto's pout was almost comical as he stared at the busy ramen stand. All the while, Samantha's eyes sparkled with famous fangirling, unable to stop her fists from clenching from excitement. There was so much she wanted to ask! Even if Nagato had suddenly stormed the ramen shop, she still probably couldn't have wiped the infatuated smile off her face. Her fists were clenched so tightly that if she didn't bite her nails, she'd more than likely have drawn blood.

The young man's whole face furrowed into a frown as he spotted the empty bowls over Sam and Tori's shoulder. He turned his accusing glare on the blue-haired girl. "Yo! Are you done? Cuz some of us are really hungry out here, you know!" His small fists planted on his hips in an almost challenging way.

Samantha's eyes widened slightly and her smile fell as she turned to look at her bowl that was officially empty. Realizing that she and Victoria had both finished eating and thus had no excuse to be taking up seats, Samantha sent her friend a helpless look before turning back to the indignant blonde boy in front of them.

"Uh, sorry-"

"Naruto!" another man called out. Samantha's head snapped to her right, having forgotten that there was a fifth person eating ramen at the ramen stand as well. This voice was likewise unmistakable! "Where are your manners?"

A war between self-righteous anger and grudging respect battled on the boy's features for a moment, but respect for his sensei won. Sagging his shoulders, Naruto grumbled, "Sorry, Iruka-Sensei!" His eyes narrowed a little at Samantha as he pointedly complained, "but if people are done, they should leave so others can eat. There's ramen right there! It's such a waste to not be eating it!" His little stomach growled definitely loud enough to have competed with Samantha's stomach's earlier complaints.

Despite the situation calling for her to feel affronted, Samantha couldn't help the amused smile forming. The relationship between the teacher and his student really was like a brother relationship. She bit her lip, looking back and forth between the two, before Might Guy interrupted their arguing.

"Ah, the refreshing honesty of youth! It would be most uncouth of us to linger any longer, ladies. Let us make our leave. Teuchi-San, thank you for a most refreshing and excellent repast! Young Lee, let us introduce our unfortunate travelers to Lord Hokage! He surely shall know how to care for our friends!"

The two women jumped down from their stools to follow Might Guy. (Although in Victoria's case it was more of a staggering, wincing limp. Even her toenails hurt at this point.) Grabbing Samantha's arm, she used her grip as much to get up to pace as to pull Sam in close for another quick whisper conference. "Oh my glory, how the heck did you not just fall at Naruto's feet and sing praises, girl?" she teased. "Dude! Nice recovery.."

"Are you kidding? It was all I could do to not squeal. You've got no idea how hard that was…!" Samantha squealed quietly, reserving her blatant excitement only for Victoria. Rock Lee sauntered backwards to the two whispering girls, his curiosity getting the better of him.

Victoria laughed breathlessly. "I'm very proud," she assured. "And still so weirded out, but I'm just rolling with it now. Do you think we'll meet everyone then? Like, little Sakura and everything? And Hokage - that'll be the guy with the mushroom hat, right?"

"The mushroom hat?" Samantha smirked, "well yes, all the kage's have one of those." She contemplated the prior question, "I don't know if we'll get to meet everyone. I mean… what are the chances? But wouldn't that be cool! Oh man…" Samantha suddenly whipped her body to face Victoria's, despite their continuous walk behind the two shinobi, "What if we got to meet Minato! Wouldn't that be so friggin' cool? Except… No I guess that wouldn't happen… we're not in that era…" Samantha pouted briefly, "But…" she wiggled her eyebrows at Victoria with a knowing look gleaming in her eye.

Victoria gave her a very flat look. "He's married," she responded instantly. It was the very firm and distinct rule to Victoria where crushes were concerned: once there was a ring, no more wistful sighs. But, she totally knew that her friend was no homewrecker and so she stuck her tongue out at Samantha to soften the sharpness of the reply. "No Minato for you."

Samantha rose an eyebrow, "Yeah, but he's hot!" She replied, her mirth sharing her obvious 'I can still look' worldview. "Besides, that's not even what I was meaning. Because… you know. _He's_ here." To further explain her point, Samantha used her hands to indicate the gravity-defying hairdo the man sported. "Eh? Eh?" She smiled knowingly.

It took a second to decipher the hand gestures, but then Victoria's blue eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh! You mean not-quite-so-pervy-sage?" she said brightly. Once, she had attempted, rather poorly, to identify Kakashi-sensei and the awkward nickname had stuck. Victoria was bad at names in any language, though, so it wasn't too weird for her to give weird nicknames. Like when Roy Mustang had been called "Fire Guy" for about the first twelve episodes of _Fullmetal Alchemist_. She gave a rather girlish giggle. "That'd be cool...not that I'd manage to say anything coherent or funny if he's even half as hot in real life."

"Heck yeah you could!" Samantha exclaimed, jovially, perhaps a little louder than she intended. She nudged Victoria's shoulder as she straightened herself out, "And did you notice? The menus and everything were all in Japanese?" The gushing that oozed from Samantha's voice could not be held back, "I could totally learn the language! Or… at least, learn what all the words mean. 'Cause obviously they're speaking English… I don't know if they even know they are. Oh!" She looked at Victoria once again, eyes sparkling in wonder, "What if they're actually hearing us in Japanese? How weird would that be!"

Rock Lee, having been listening in on their conversation (wasn't he ever the chivalrous guy?) took that moment to chime in, "Of course you're speaking Japanese! What other language is there?"

"Uh, well, I… Japanese, huh?" Samantha sputtered, not sure how to explain what she'd said. She wondered how suspicious that made them? Hopefully the kid wouldn't go and spew off his thoughts to Might Guy. The man may talk flowery, but he wasn't a doofus. He definitely had perceptive powers.

" _Star Trek_ 's universal translators," Victoria murmured quietly, finding an explanation in the extensive library of her brain. "We hear our language and they hear theirs, but the written text remains the same." She absently played with the curling tail of her half-demolished bun, turning it into a regular old ponytail with another tug. "Afraid that won't actually help you much, Sam-Sam."

"Or it's the gift of tongues from the bible!" Samantha mused quietly back. Straightening out her otaku hat, the light blue haired woman looked back at Rock Lee, "Sorry!" She said louder, "We just have this code that we write in so often, I forget that Japanese is a thing." She laughed nervously and shrugged. Victoria mentally applauded Sam's quick thinking.

Rock Lee's eyes lit up wider than the two women had seen previously, shining in wonder. "That is so youthful! I would love to see this code that you write in!"

Victoria gave him a weird look. "Youthful?" she repeated. "We're almost old enough to be your mom…" She tilted her head a little, this time she was the one dealing the genin a suspicious look. "Are you related to the Mike Guy, too or something?"

"Uh, no it's Might! Like, I might do something. Might!" Samantha snorted at Victoria's mispronunciation.

Rock Lee looked confused for a second before he stated proudly, "Guy-Sensei is the best sensei in the world! We aren't related, but don't discount that the bond between a student and teacher can be stronger than the blood-ties of family!"

"I wouldn't doubt it," Samantha agreed, walking with her hands clasped behind her back.

"I guess so," Victoria agreed belatedly. "How long has he been your teacher, ..Rock Lee?" She shot Sam a little glance to double check that she hadn't butchered that name too. Samantha nodded her head in the affirmative.

"Guy-Sensei has been my teacher for one whole year! He's the most amazing sensei ever!" The boy could have ranted for much longer had not Might Guy intervened.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we have arrived."

"Arrived?" Samantha repeated, blinking up at the Green Beast before looking past him. Without realizing, they had walked the entire way to the Hokage's office. Either they'd travelled in time, or the girls' musings distracted them long enough to make it the whole way, aching feet and all. Leaning each to one side of the bulky jounin, Samantha and Victoria stared up at the distinctive round, red building.

Beneath the yellow rooftops, a surprisingly large number of people swarmed about, standing in groups talking or rushing about on important ninja business. Samantha's wide eyes were taking in everyone and Victoria could tell each time Sam spotted a character she recognized because her arms would pump into matching fists. As they made their way to the impressive doors across the courtyard, it became obvious why there were so many people there. Every third conversation they walked past mentioned something about the Academy's upcoming graduation. "It'll be good to get a new crop of genin," a huge man with bristling white hair remarked gruffly. "I've been teamless since the snows melted."

A fierce female ninja nodded curtly in agreement. "Let's hope they have a few this year that are at least able to tie their sandals on by themselves…" She folded her arms and scowled at the world in general. "Last year was slim pickings. Except for that Hyuuga boy."

Samantha winced, glancing at Rock Lee as they walked into the magnificent building, praying the young, impressionable boy wouldn't be affected by the terrible musings of his fellow Konoha shinobi. No one deserved to be told they couldn't become their best selves. No one should be told they weren't good enough. The idea of it angered Samantha, and a part of her wanted to shout at the arrogant shinobi who would dare say something so awful about someone trying to become better. She huffed angrily, frustrated that she couldn't find the right way to tell the lady off.

"Don't worry, Rock Lee!" Samantha reassured, as it became apparent that the boy had heard the chatter by the slight hunching of his shoulders, "That woman doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm sure you're amazing! After all, you _did_ climb a wall to the roof. Which is freaking awesome." Rock Lee looked up at Samantha, his previous dark thoughts washing away immediately.

"Of course! If you had said otherwise, then I would have run one hundred laps around the village!"

"Oh, that wouldn't have been necessary," Samantha smiled uneasily. It would have been bizzare to see the boy exhausting himself just because of something she'd said.

"Right this way," Might Guy chose that time to interrupt. Samantha swore that he did that on purpose. Every time. He chose just the right time to intervene the conversation. The Green Beast motioned for Samantha and Victoria to walk up a flight of stairs, several flights, to the top level of the building. As much as Samantha enjoyed working out (which really was only when she was practicing her awesome kenpo moves!) walking up that many flights of stairs seemed far too exhausting. There had to be at least four flights! _There can't have been this many in the anime. Unfair!_ She thought. She glanced at Victoria, nearly bursting out in laughter at her friend's face. As much as she didn't like the idea, she knew just how much her friend _hated_ the idea.

A very, very long suffering sigh spilled over Victoria's downturned lips. There might have even been little, shiny tears in her eyes. "They're trying to kill me," she muttered under her breath. "I'm not gonna even make it to the Hokage. I'm gonna die on these steps. There's just no way." A soft whine, like that of a kicked puppy dog, sounded at the back of Tori's throat. But with the life-long knowledge that she was not the type of girl to get offered piggy-back rides, Tori staggered onwards and upwards with all the mighty might of her long dead ancestors cheering her on against the worst trial she'd faced all day.

By the time they made it to the top level, both Samantha and Victoria had sweat falling down their faces. Samantha didn't even dare smell her armpits. Without the use of deodorant, she _smelled_. Wiping her forehead and hoping no one else could smell her (as long as no one from the Inuzuka clan were around, she'd be fine, right? Right?), Samantha glanced at Victoria, feeling glad she wasn't the only one huffing from the four flights.

"The Hokage will see you, now," said a woman who seemed to be the secretary as she was sitting behind a wooden desk. Surprisingly, the room they walked into was rather large, with many windows that brought in the natural light. The wooden theme never gave the impression of 'oh geez, we're back in the seventies' vibe. Hallelujah! Samantha couldn't help but wonder how wooden the hokage's office was and if it gave off a cheerful vibe as well.

The moment they entered the room, escorted in by Might Guy while Rock Lee followed behind, Samantha was struck by the aura of authority that oozed off of Sarutobi Hiruzen. Samantha stared in awe, coming to a stop way before the intended mark. The man seemed to have a knowing look about him, as if he'd already been made aware of who they were. Sam wouldn't doubt it. She nervously, in all her sweaty glory, looked towards Victoria, wondering if her friend had the same sense of foreboding as she did.

Victoria was still trying to recover her breath from their horrible staircase adventure. She really was so out of shape. But seriously, who lived in buildings that were four floors tall but didn't have elevators? Pressing both her palms hard against her too-soft tummy, Victoria focused on not coughing. She gave the man in front of them a cautious, but obviously worried half-smile. On a normal day, Victoria would have taken this as a chance to give the man a piece of her mind about the treatment of poor Naruto Uzumaki. Right now, however, she didn't really remember that in face of the slight dizziness and two columns of pure fire that had replaced her lower legs. She gave a small, weak wave to the Grand Lord Hokage. What else was she supposed to do?

"Report," The man uttered, his intense gaze drizzling between the two women, even as his response was directed towards Might Guy.

"Lord Hokage, these two strangers entered our village from the north approximately one hour ago. They call themselves Samantha and Victoria. They claim to have lost their traveling gear and map. This one possess a Konoha forehead protector that she says was given to her by a man called Tobi. They have been in the presence of young Rock Lee and myself since passing the boundary." Victoria blinked at the abrupt tone switch. Might Guy was far from what she had assumed was his normal flowery self now that he was speaking to the Hokage. She self-consciously straightened up a little in a vague approximation of the two ninja's parade-rest stance.

Though Victoria seemed about to cry, (Samantha tried to send reassuring glances her way) Samantha immediately pushed her exhaustion to the back of her mind, studying the proceedings going on before them. Curiosity killed the cat, as they say. The Third Hokage listened to Might Guy's explanation before he finally turned towards the two friends, and at this, Samantha did straighten her gait, wanting to look less pathetic than she probably seemed. After all, it wasn't every day you got to meet the Third Hokage...and the Seventh Hokage too, for that matter..How weird.

"So, what were you two girls doing by the north part of our village?" Lord Hiruzen leaned back in his chair, as if to say he wasn't a threat, but had the capacity to be.

"Uh, well, you see, we got lost." Samantha laid bare the underlying premise of their whole existence in the supposed Konoha.

"Got lost?" Sarutobi Hiruzen repeated, lifting an eyebrow.

Clearing her throat, Victoria took over. "Yes, sir. We are just trying to get home. It was only by luck that we got high enough up on the cliffs to see your village. We thought we might be able to find some help here. We don't have anything with us. We're at your mercy, really…" It was not hard at all to look pathetic and beseeching. And, what she said was totally honest, even if it didn't give them any real details.

Samantha couldn't agree more. They were most certainly at the mercy of the Third Hokage. She chewed on her lip, suddenly feeling nervous that they'd be kicked out of the village, as ridiculous as that seemed. After all, if they weren't _actually_ in Konoha, and this was all a ruse to make them think they were, then the hokage wouldn't actually kick them out. Yet, she still worried. Sleeping on the ground did not seem ideal. Or comfy. She was all for comfort. Samantha stuffed her hands in her pockets, fiddling with the marble. This was all too surreal.

Victoria half-jumped when Sam shoved her hands in her pockets, expecting that Might Guy was gonna tackle them to the ground again, but the ninjas simply stood in perfect readiness. "But, um, Lord Hokage, we totally understand that you have to keep your village safe," Victoria continued. "So if you need us to leave, we totally understand. But is there any way you can help us contact our families first?" Inwardly, Victoria praised herself for sounding reasonable, logical, and hopefully on the right track to not getting them killed.

Samantha was supremely grateful that Victoria was able to come up with those kinds of questions. In the midst of her shock and excitement, Samantha had completely forgotten to ask for a way to contact them. A part of her, the pessimistic side that wondered if they had been kidnapped, wondered if that would even work. Calling their families. If anything, they'd reach a dial tone or a "I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed" for either scenario. Kidnappers would never let you contact your families, right? Even so, Victoria's head being on straight was enough for Samantha. She nodded in agreement, hoping that they'd at least get the chance to try.

Sarutobi Hiruzen contemplated Victoria's question, his face giving no indication of his answer. "I will allow you to contact your families, yes. However, being that you two have shown up here, unannounced on the outskirts of my village, I cannot have you wandering around by yourselves." He glanced toward Might Guy, "Might Guy, seeing as you were the one to find these two, please be sure that you escort them to where they will be staying. I expect you to be their guard until further notice."

"With all due respect, Lord Hokage," Might Guy began, hesitant, as if he didn't want to bring up what he was about to say, "Because I have my wonderful, youthful students to take care of, I feel it wouldn't be a good idea to have unvetted civilians following the routines of shinobi."

Nervously, Victoria yanked at the end of her ponytail, playing with the maroon-dyed strands. "Lord Hokage, we really don't mean to be any trouble," she promised, helpless to stop the desperation sneaking into her voice. He raised one hand and she abruptly bit back the rest of what she would have said.

"Might Guy, with the current demands upon my time, I cannot spare effort to organize this. Do it or you find your own replacement...or a suitable location to hold them."

The two women shared a worried glance and almost simultaneously gulped. It was pretty clear what that implied! But then a rich, masculine voice sounded from the back of the room.

"I'll do it."

* * *

 **Deleted Scene:**

Between staircases, the women had to call a halt and politely ask for a chance to use the bathroom. By that point, Victoria was about to burst with something else as well. "Sam, I've been dying to say something to you for hours but I really didn't want to be overheard."

Sam looked surprised, but gestured for her to go on. "What is it?"

"So..forever ago when I very first watched Naruto I did it without subtitles, right? Well in the English dub, they kinda say Rock Lee weird, and, well, earlier when you corrected me on Might Guy I remembered that when I was first watching, I totally thought that they were saying "Broccoli" instead of "Rock Lee.'" Samantha snorted as Victoria continued one with her spiel, "And like..he's always wearing green, and he's got that hair.. It sorta made sense…"

Samantha paused for nigh a second before she burst out laughing, "You thought!" She laughed again, "You thought his name was Broccoli!" She held a stitch in her side, laughing while mutterings of broccoli left her lips. Samantha wiped a tear that had begun to fall, "Oh that's just too good." She sighed, half giggly, half tearfully. Victoria, man. Victoria.

"Well what kind of name is Rock Lee anyway?" Victoria muttered softly, but she was giggling a little still, too. It had been awfully good to laugh that hard.

* * *

 **A/N: Hiyo, Everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Me and RoyalVicTorie certainly enjoyed writing it xD Ah, the comedic relief, eh? And who could that be at the end? Ooo and Aaah everyone! Prepare to be amazed! xD And please... Like, Favorite, READ and REVIEW! We just love you guys and your thoughts are always welcome. Plus they make us giggle with excitement.**

 **P.s. We don't own any of the rights to any other shows or actor's or people that have been mentioned in the real world. You know which they are.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: ...That The Men Are Always Hotter Than You Expect**

"I'll do it."

The unexpected pronouncement caught the two non-ninjas by surprise, and Victoria and Samantha whipped around. The formerly empty doorway at their backs was now a graceful, wooden frame encasing a tall, lean figure. The distinctive navy blue bodysuit and sage green tactical vest instantly identified the man as one of the skillful Jonin of the Hidden Leaf village, as did his forehead protector, tilted at a rakish angle over the man's left eye.

His broad shoulders leaned casually against one edge of his chosen frame. One hand braced loosely against his hip while the other casually twirled a dagger-like shuriken around the first knuckle of his index finger.

Suddenly weak at the knees in a way that couldn't be fully blamed upon the stairs, Victoria gripped Samantha's arm tightly. She didn't need Sam's mental pokedex of characters to recognize this man: Kakashi Hatake. Her heart pounded fiercely in her chest as instinct shouted to her that being around such an attractive creature clearly put her in more danger than anything else they'd experienced thus far. _You should run away. Really fast. He's hot. He's way too hot._

Almost as though he could hear her thoughts, the bright silver of Kakashi's right eye suddenly shot up to the two of them, piercing a figurative arrow right through Victoria's heart and pinning her in place. In the same moment, the shuriken came to a breath-taking stop in the palm of his hand. The skin about his eyes crinkled in amusement and he gave them a cheeky two-finger wave over the hilt of his dagger.

"Yo."

"Hng," was all Tori could manage.

The moment the man spoke his first sentence, Samantha had spun on her heels, not quite sure if she heard correctly. _That sounds like…!_ As soon as Sam saw his face, her jaw nearly dropped to the ground, her eyes way too big from the shock. The man was dashing to the highest extreme and she had to keep herself steady from the vice-like grip Victoria had claimed on Sam's arm: she nearly tripped from the strength of it, but managed to succeed in keeping both of them both from falling. The anime did _not_ do him justice.

His well-toned form leaned lazily against the doorframe, observing the two friends. Samantha twitched under his gaze, unsure how to react apart from her current jaw dropping and blinking. He certainly seemed amused by them, that was for certain.

"Ah, Kakashi," Hiruzen spoke up, "Nice of you to drop in."

"Lord Hokage," Kakashi acknowledged, his eyes finally moving past the two women to his leader. Victoria's shoulders sagged in unmistakable relief to be out of the direct line of that gaze. "Promised I'd be back by Monday." He gave a nod to Might Guy and Rock Lee who still stood attentively near the Hokage's impressive desk. The differences between the three men were most tangible in the overwhelming presence of them. Might Guy was a bright, white flame: endlessly spewing energy and vigor at his helpless targets. The Hokage had prickled with deadly authority that felt like cactus barbs warning emotions away. But Kakashi could only be described as the seductive menace of a jaguar. His aura promised that despite the lazy way he leaned against the door frame, he could be at any of their throats between one breath and the next, his gleaming shuriken pressing gently against their pulse.

"That you did. I assume you're preparing for next week?" Though the Third Hokage commented as if he were expecting an answer, he continued onward, "I'm surprised you want guard duty."

Samantha watched for Kakashi's reaction. First, wondering _why_ , in the first place, he wanted to be on guard duty, and second, feeling awkward waiting for their assessment.

He gave a slow shrug that pushed him up and away from the door. "Until I get my new team assignment, I'm planning to catch up on my reading." He gave a slight nod to the side to indicate the two women. "I could handle this too. Call it multitasking."

Might Guy seemed to swell a little before the objection growing inside him barked out. "Kakashi, it is an unwise jonin that makes light of any threat against his village."

Victoria knew she should have been listening to the conversation, but her attention was caught up in the way Kakashi-Sensei's silvery hair gently bounced with each nod of his head as he walked. Earthly gravity should have promised that his hair would be stiff and sticky from too much hairspray, but somehow the gleaming strands appeared to have achieved their flight naturally: a divine combination of length and volumizing dissheavel. It was like Heaven itself had run its fingers through his hair. Heaven or a lover. Victoria's ears burned at the thought.

Pausing in his very slow jaunt, Kakashi bent forward at the hips to peer at Sam and Tori as though they were a ramen menu-board. Beneath the cover of his mask, his mouth moved in what was likely a smirk. "These two? You think they could really be a threat? Look at them. They couldn't even handle the stairs."

"Hey! I'll have you know we've been doing a lot of walking today. It makes you tired and sweaty!" Samantha replied with a pout. After all, it wasn't every day you met a ridiculously hot guy who could see just how un-physically fit you were. (Especially when you tried to delude yourself into believing you weren't that out of shape. She was a purple belt after all. A high purple belt!)

The skin about Kakashi's one exposed eye crinkled in an obvious smile as he laughed brightly. The sound seemed to break the spell of silence on Victoria who gasped softly. "Sam," she breathed. "I just realized something terrible. We have to _walk_ down those stairs…" Kakashi laughed harder.

Samantha's heart swayed at Kakashi's laugh. He never seemed like the type to laugh, but then, this _was_ real life. So it made sense. The thought of going back down the stairs, though, was exhausting. Still, Samantha grabbed onto Victoria's arm. "Don't worry, I gotchu!" Looking at Kakashi, Samantha had determined set eyes, ready for the next step they had to endure.

"Well, I leave it to you, then, Kakashi." Lord Third Hokage responded, watching their tiny group thoughtfully. Rock Lee stared at them, his eyes trying to convey… excitement? Desire to follow? To be in the know? Samantha wasn't quite sure. What she _did_ know was that she was ready for a nap. And perhaps a bath. She was gross smelling. Samantha scrunched her nose in disgust. Hopefully it was only she who noticed. Well, she and Victoria anyway.

Kakashi's laughter finally trickled off, and he straightened up and jerked a thumb over one shoulder. "Okay, then. Let's go, Samantha-Chan. Tori-Chan." He spun on his heels and started to march with the expectation they would follow. After a second of stunned silence, they did.

"How did - "

Victoria didn't get a chance to finish her question, because the jounin anticipated it. "Listened from the door," he said easily. He crossed his arms behind the back of his head in an easy, comfortable way. "Did you eat?" At their mumbled assurance, he started to bound down the stairs… very slowly, they were only too happy to notice. "Cool."

Tori looked over at Samantha. They could hardly speak to each other, now knowing how well they were over-heard, but after fifteen years of friendship, they were pretty good at reading each other's expressions. " _Oh my heck, it's Kakashi!"_ Victoria's wide eyes seemed to shout. " _And he's totally hot and totally taking us somewhere? What are we gonna do?"_

 _Chan?_ Samantha repeated to herself, _That's very… informal. Does he do this with every woman he meets?_ To Victoria, Samantha shrugged, "We follow, I suppose _." I doubt we'd be able to get very far, anyway_. Samantha smirked at her thought, tugging Victoria along to follow Kakashi. It was definitely questionable how he knew their names, not to mention why he was on the other side of the door in the first place, but either way, Samantha was ready.

"Where..are we going?" Victoria called down after they had trotted down the second staircase. "If you don't mind our asking, um, Kakashi, sir." It felt a little wrong to call someone so close to their own age "sir" but her inner feminist was totally cool to point out that she was giving him a 'sir' not at all because of his gender and one hundred percent because of the fact he was their jailer of sorts.

Rather than turning about, Kakashi simply tipped his head clear back to look at them. With him being several steps below, he had a perfect view of their reaction without the effort of turning around. For Tori and Sam, though, it was a little disconcerting, even if it did give them a rather lovely view of his jaw. "My place," he said, smirking as Victoria and Sam stumbled in shock.

"Your place?" Samantha nearly stuttered.

He abruptly corrected his posture and absolutely nothing seemed to explain the clear flirtatiousness of the moment before. The back of his head was all seriousness. "You two seem like you could use some rest and cleaning up."

Samantha looked at Victoria, a teasing grin upon Sam's face as she noticed how red her friend was. And Samantha was sure it wasn't due to being exhausted. Well… not all of it, anyway. If Sam was a little excited to see Kakashi's place, she could only imagine what Victoria was feeling...the man was absolutely smoldering. But a bath sure sounded nice! Samantha just hoped that his place didn't take long to get to. The two of them were already limping as it was, needing to give their feet a _long_ break.

Luckily, Sam's wishes were granted by the universe and within just a short walk of the Hokage's tower, was Kakashi's neatly kept apartment. He seemed way too cool with giving the two strange women the "official apartment tour." He then casually declared he was going to be back in a minute and sauntered out the door. A sharp-eyed Victoria noticed that the strange jonin had slapped a seal against the apartment's main door on his way out. There was no chance of them escaping, if they for some reason wanted to. Victoria gratefully flopped onto the room's long and totally nap-worthy sofa. "Forgive me," she mumbled before kicking off her shoes and socks. The sigh of relief was so, so worth the smell of sweaty socks. "But I think my feet are literally about to die."

"Tell me about it!" Samantha agreed, joining her friend. She, in turn, kicked off her shoes before curling up onto the edge of the couch. "I'm so exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for _days_! My legs feel kinda like jello." Leaning her head against the back of the couch, Samantha yawned. "Is it time for bed yet? Wait, no. I desperately need a shower!" Even just lying there, Samantha knew that was a task she had to complete before the next day arrived.

Victoria gave a breathless laugh. "Saaaaammmmeeee," she agreed. Samantha giggled. Victoria made a vague attempt to push herself over a little to give Sam more room on the couch. It ended with her face collapsed against the edge of the middle cushion. "Ugh. Who thought ninjas could be such taskmasters?" she quipped sarcastically. "It's like they expect everyone can just run everywhere all the time."

In feigned innocence, Samantha slowly raised her hand. "I did." She replied, not quite looking Tori in the eyes.

"You're so facetious," Tori accused under her breath.

Then Samantha smiled facetiously. "Or maybe it's just these particular ninja that expect that? I mean… It's Kakashi. He _was_ jounin at thirteen."

"That doesn't mean anything to me," Victoria reminded her lightly. Her knowledge of this universe was patchy at best, and moth-eaten after a good twelve year hiatus from the fandom.

Samantha laughed good and hard. Seriously. Tori was just the best. "Basically, he became an Anbu Black Ops member - you know, like the secret service, and so is used to strenuous activity. All that jazz."

"Oh right. But, he wasn't the one I blame for my aching tootsers. He was like, at least somewhat of a human, no I blame that Mighty Guy dude. Like, where's the fire? It's in my feet."

"Tootsers?" Samantha snorted. Honestly, her friend came up with the strangest phrases! Well, not that Sam was one to talk, but… you know. "Might Guy _did_ make us walk to the Hokage tower, I suppose. But at least it was entertaining! Rock Lee gave us much to observe. Could you believe that he actually climbed that wall? How do you think he did it?" Samantha paused, thinking back on that strange moment. "I mean… I know that in the anime they use chakra to make their feet stick." She giggled. "Kinda like a spider's feet! Claws?" Samantha snickered to herself again, "Could you imagine if the ninja walked on all fours! That would be super hilarious."

"You mean super terrifying," Victoria corrected. "Like those youtube videos of people being the girl from _The Ring_." She almost had the strength to shudder playfully, but decided to save it for the eventual moment when she'd have to crawl her way to a bathroom. "And..I think he probably could do it cuz he's a ninja."

"Ew, why would you bring up _The Ring?_ That's legit terrifying." Sam's eyes bugged out at the thought, "And yeah, they may be 'ninja'," she used finger quotes for emphasis, "But there's just no way this is real. My bet is harnesses. That this is just some _elaborate_ ploy to get us to believe we're in Konoha for real." Samantha deliberately emphasized the word "elaborate," her voice not shy about her disbelief.

Victoria shook her head slightly. "Sammie-Sam..I think we gotta own up to the fact that this is as real as it is."

"Oh no, they've gotten to you," Samantha dreaded.

"No," Tori interrupted firmly, but softly. "They didn't." She fiddled with the ends of her hair. "I've been praying like crazy since we ended up on that mountain that it would be something that we could explain away, but..honestly, at this point, I think it's more unbelievable that anyone is orchestrating this. And..well, what would make you believe it? What could make you agree that it was real?"

"Good question," Samantha contemplated, "I'm not sure there _is_ anything that would make me believe. Maybe it's the whole 'believing is seeing' thing. Gotta believe it's real before I actually believe what I'm seeing…" Samantha sat there for a moment, wondering what could possibly convince her this was real.

"Kakashi-Sensei-"

"He's not your sensei you know…" Samantha drawled, "you'd not actually call him that,"

"Fine. Not-Quite-So-Pervy-Sage slapped a seal on the door before he left. But no keys in the lock. Why don't you go just try to open the door, ya doubting Thomas?" Victoria was feeling a little prickly. She wasn't totally down with all the darn names and titles, and she already felt like she was down to only three working brain cells. Sam's correction had hurt her feelings a little.

"A seal." Samantha repeated, too engrossed in the conversation to have realized her mishap towards Tori. "On the door." She glanced at the door. It looked normal, not unlike a door you'd find where they were from. With another glance at Victoria's frowning face, Sam sighed and stood up, "I guess I can give it a try to see what happens."

Walking over to the dark wooded door, Samantha placed her hand on the silver knob and turned, mildly surprised when the knob twisted but nothing happened. She tried pulling the door open but, nothing. She tried pushing the door open. Still, nothing. Sam gave up hope and turned back towards Tori, "This proves nothing," she proclaimed.

"But can you prove anything not being real?" Tori countered back. "Have you seen anything that'd be out of place? A single cell-phone? Non-period clothing? Boom mikes sticking out of windows?"

"You and your period clothing," Samantha muttered before saying louder, "Currently? Well, no. But that doesn't mean they're not there." Samantha replied, "I suppose I'd have to see an actual jutsu. Like…. A rasengan, or Kakashi's chidori. Something like that. There's no way they'd be able to CGI something like that in real life."

Victoria snorted a little. "CGI is an after effect," she pointed out. "Nobody but Rock Lee runs around in green unitards. And..rasengan's an eye thing, right? Probably hard to swing that, but what about like a substitution jutsu? Or Naruto's shadow clones?"

"Exactly! To see a rasengan would be pretty impressive and definitely proof. There'd be no way they - whoever they are, could produce something like that in real life. But you're right," Samantha then agreed, "to see a substitution jutsu or Naruto's shadow clones would also be something they could never produce without _special effects._ " She conceded.

"'Kay, so then if we convince Not-so-Pervy to let us go watch training grounds tomorrow and anything not-humanly-possible happens, then, you, Samantha T. Winters, agree to agree that we are actually in an alternate universe where Konoha is real and all your crazy fan-girl dreams can come true?" Tori pointed her index finger meaningfully at the too-chill, too-deep-in-denial Samantha. "And you won't be greedy and demand a rasengan to be convinced?"

"Okay okay, fine, Victoria G. Lexington." Samantha pouted, "But why can't I demand a rasengan? It's so freaking awesome!"

"Cuz if someone is throwing a rasengan around it means we're probably about to die?" Victoria pointed out with a clear attitude of "we probably shouldn't wish to die" in her voice.

"You worry too much," Samantha stuck her tongue out in her pouting acceptance of the terms. "But one day, I will totally get to see a rasengan."

"Well, if you want me to not worry so much, just bring the hot guy back," Victoria drawled self-deprecatingly. "Pretty sure my whole brain melts right outta my head."

Samantha laughed loudly. Granted, she wasn't sure how to laugh softly, so it was pretty normal.

"Seriously. I've never met someone that actually attractive in real life. Only tv people are supposed to be that hot. It's like..a crime against humanity, or something."

With another snort, Sam replied, "I wouldn't say that! I mean… my ex was pretty friggin' hot."

"No he wasn't," Victoria corrected instantly. "Really never got what you saw in him."

"Pfft, just because you never got to meet him." Samantha argued. "But I totally agree… Kakashi… whew!" She fanned herself.

"Well, and, I mean, before Kakeshi came in the room and just devastated the entire planet with the gorgeousness of his face, Might Guy is not too bad looking either. I'd probably like him it weren't for his hair. And eyebrows. And general personality.."

"Touché," Sam smirked, "And that's saying a lot considering we can only see Kakashi's eyeball."

"Good Golly Great Peaches of Atlanta," Victoria murmured solemnly. "We just might die if we saw his whole face, Sam. That's probably why he wears the mask. He doesn't need the sexy jutsu. He is just constantly personifying it." Unable to hold the serious tone any more, she started to giggle. Fairly quickly, both friends turned the light laughter into a frenzied and slightly hysterical laughter - or maniacal cackling… whichever term you prefer. They sounded like the witches from _Hocus Pocus_ but most definitely not as old.

Nearing the end of their contagious laughing, the door opened. One look at the devastating eye-candy, and both Samantha and Victoria burst into another round of laughing.

His long arms full of bags, the jonin stopped just inside the doorway. After a moment of their riotous laughter, he slowly raised one eyebrow. "Hi."

Victoria's laughter reached max mirth: a very high-pitched giggle interspersed with unladylike snorts and tears burning from the corners of her blue eyes. She shoved at Sam's shoulder as though somehow it could stop Samantha and her silent, old-man belly laugh. "Stop," she gasped. "Oh man."

Kakeshi simply nodded at them and serenely made his way to the tiny kitchen where he began to put away his gathered groceries.

"We're terrible people," Tori whispered between helpless giggles.

"Nah, we're not that bad," Samantha's grandpa laugh simmered down, almost to a hiccup. She turned her attention over to their 'caretaker' if you will. Their "host" for all intents and purposes. "So! Whatchu got there?" She intruded, curious as to the contents of the bags.

Kakashi lifted a bagged loaf of sandwich bread from the second bag and pivoted it like a well-trained display model. Victoria, embarrassed now about her bare feet, tried to discreetly kick her smelly socks back into her shoes. Kakashi set down the bread and then proceeded to less dramatically unpack the other groceries. He pointed one finger down at the third brown-paper bag. "I asked a neighbor for some spare clothes for you both. You can use the bathroom whenever you want."

"Oooh, that was a brilliant idea!" Samantha exclaimed, "I like the way you think." She jumped up from the couch, walking on the sides of her feet to try to spare her aching arches any more pain after the ridiculous amount of walking they had done earlier that day. Limping up to the silver-haired man, Samantha snooped at all the groceries he had bought while she gathered the clothing into a big bundle and made her way back to the couch. "Here's yours!" She plopped herself onto the couch, sifting out the items of clothing and handing Tori her share.

Wanting to fully take advantage of the jounin's offer, Samantha made her way to the bathroom, admiring the clothing she'd get to use. It was unsurprising that the man had chosen what were obviously ninja clothes for the two women. She laid out the set as she turned on the shower. Given to her were some knee-length black cargo shorts, a black cargo shirt with an obvious white tank-top to go underneath. And though it took her a minute, Samantha realized the strange black tubes were arm coverings that went from her wrists to just above her elbow. She lifted an eyebrow at the sight. Did Kakashi intend her to get into many fights? That's usually what happened when anime characters wore those kinds of things. _Well, that'd be kinda cool. Then I could actually know what it's like to spar!_ Because, while Samantha had a purple belt in Kenpo, due to her situation with her training, she never had the opportunity to spar. So, with a shrug, Samantha proceeded with her shower.

It wasn't until Samantha was under the shower of warm water that she realized she had totally abandoned Victoria with the man who made her totally tongue-tied.

Tori for her part was somewhat frozen on the couch, meticulously tying and untying the sash that neatly surrounded the pile of her borrowed clothing. For the very life of her, she could think of absolutely nothing to say. Her first instinct was to pull out her phone and proceed to fake texting, but that obviously was not a great social crutch in the shinobi world. Running her tongue over the sharp points of her teeth, she forced herself to think of a possible conversation opener. "Thank you. For taking us in." It wasn't great, but at least her voice sounded normal.

Across the small room, Kakashi gave a single-syllable sound that she interpreted to mean "No problem." He opened the fridge and rearranged the vegetables in there.

"Is..there anything I can do to help?" she asked. It was a safe default: people almost always had something they would let her help with.

He finally glanced over at her then nodded to the left where a large set of bookcases spanned the room. "Grab me a book, Tori-Chan. I like to read when I cook."

It was a weird request, but it was something to do to cover her nerves! Gingerly getting to her feet, she shuffled over to inspect the book collection. It was almost as large as hers. She smiled widely at the realization. Of course, like the ramen shop, everything was in Japanese so she could hardly tell what they were about, but books, any books, always brought comfort. It was like fresh mountain air: just running her fingers along the soft spines refreshed her soul. "You have so many," she declared happily. "Do you read a lot then?" Feeling particularly drawn to a hardcover book bound in green, she pulled it out and ran her fingers over the kanjis embossed into it.

"Almost constantly," he admitted. His deft hands chopped some carrots with a disturbing speed.

Victoria flipped the book open, but sadly the magic that helped her know what he said did not suddenly render the characters legible to her. "What are your favorite kind of stories?" she asked.

His eyes flicked up from the cutting board for just a second. "I like books with….action. Romance. Sometimes a little twisted."

Her nose crinkled up happily. "The good kind, then," she declared, utterly and totally not remembering just what types of books the sensei read that had earned him the moniker of Not Quite So Pervy Sage so long ago. "I love a little dark comedy myself," she admitted. Determining the green novel to be her choice for him, she brought it across the room. "How about this one?"

He blinked at the title and then raised an eyebrow at her. "Sure."

Victoria smiled a little wider, glad to have managed her appointed task. Spotting the potatoes he had left out, she pointed to them. "Do you need those peeled?" At his small nod, she half-skipped over to the knife block, sat at the stool beside his counter, and was well-content to let the silence lapse again as she set about peeling the potatoes. It didn't feel so awkward now that she knew he was as much of a book-nerd as she was. The more human-like qualities she could pin on her mental image of him, the less overwhelming his hotness was. She mentally added "good at cutting carrots" to the board along with "thoughtful enough to bring us clean clothes." She had to be careful though...wouldn't be smart to add so many good things to the list that she forgot the rules.

After admiring her new outfit in the mirror, Samantha did her best to comb out her wet hair as she walked into the living room/kitchen, only to find that Victoria had managed to worm her way over to Kakashi's side. She grinned at the sight, happy to see that Tori had overcome her shyness to sit next to a guy she was attracted to. Something that Samantha struggled with herself. Crushes were so very hard to acknowledge. She plopped herself next to Tori, her smile gracing her lips even wider.

"So, I see you two having oodles of fun," Samantha said, making for conversation. It was kind of impressive to watch Kakashi chop carrots at lightning speed while also reading, but it got pretty boring after a minute. Normally, her boredom could be solved by her finding a piano and pounding its black and white keys with the coolest, fastest songs she had memorized. Sadly, Kakashi's house lacked such an instrument.

Samantha stood awkwardly for a moment, rolling on her heels, unsure of what she should do. The two seemed so comfortable with the silence that Samantha turned around, strolling about Kakashi's room. She, too, noticed the bookshelf and giggled when she saw the famous sannin series that the jounin was notorious for reading. As she browsed, Samantha begun to softly sing the tune of " _Bad Romance_ " by Lady Gaga. Though she didn't like any other songs from the woman, Sam could concede that this particular song was super fun to sing to and most likely appropriate for the books she noticed on the shelf.

Across the room, Tori picked up on the soft humming and without quite noticing started to sing along with Sam. It was almost impossible for her to resist the urge to be a human jukebox at any opportunity. "Ro-ma Ro-ma-ma. Gaga Oh-la-la! Want your bad romance.." Another naked potato joined its companions: the carrot slivers.

Sam smiled as she heard Victoria sing along, continuing with her observations of the living room. She couldn't help but caress the bookshelf as she browsed the space. Samantha was probably like a little kid in that way. Touching everything she saw. When the song came to the chorus, Samantha turned to Victoria and smiled gleefully as Tori slightly turned her body to face Sam and they both sung the "want your bad romance!" together.

Laughing brightly between the notes, Victoria totally threw herself into their singing. This is what they _did_. Every car ride between them ever meant super passionate singing with ridiculous faces. Pointing dramatically to Samantha, she let her sing the "Oh-oh-oh-oh-ohh!"s before joining in on the "Caught in a bad romance!"

Samantha, as much as she loved to dance to their joyful songs, was never as animated in her movements as the notorious Victoria who headbanged with reckless abandonment regardless of who may be watching. So in true Victorian fashion, Tori whipped her hair around to the driving beat. Samantha had to work hard to hold in the giggles as an impish idea occurred to her. Luckily, they were coming up on just the right verse. "I want your love, and I want your revenge," both friends sang out. And then Sam stopped, and the unwitting Victoria didn't even notice.

With all her heart, the redhead sang at a volume that surely was being heard by the neighbors: "I want your love! I don't wanna be friennnnddssss..." Belatedly, Tori seemed to notice that at the end of her outstretched arm was not the uncaring rear-view mirror but rather a very amused looking Kakeshi. Only then did Tori realize whom she was looking at and _what_ she was singing.

Kakashi placed a hand over his heart. "Tori-chan. I didn't know you felt that way."

Never in the history of Konoha had anyone turned quite that scarlet quite that quickly. A noise that sounded like "eep" swallowed the rest of Victoria's song. There were a few attempts at explanation, but the sounds were barely comprehensible as human sounds, much less actual language. "I'm gonna shower!" she finally managed and her feet apparently must have felt much better cuz she practically flew across the room and into the sanctuary of the bathing chamber.

"So," Samantha smiled, mischievously, "How 'bout them carrots?"

* * *

 **A/N: Well... I certainly hope you all found this just as funny as we did! Just so you know... RoyalVicTorie is crazy! You see... we're getting this out super early... (which, as a reader myself, is always exciting!)... b/c RoyalVicTorie, for one, loved writing this chapter right along with me. And another... she says "pleeeeeeeeeeease review! We love you!" She says reviews will satiate her desire to get chapters out fast but... I say... it'll encourage her to write more and post a lot. lol Granted... I'm no exception... so... ANYWAY! Thank you for all the readers out there and for those who have liked and followed! We find you amazing.**

 **And I promise.. though this chapter didn't have a crap ton happen in it, it was necessary. Plus... we laughed. A _lot_. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: ...that you have to think of creative ways to introduce characters that everyone already knows**

It was early in the morning and Samantha wasn't sure what woke her. She blinked her hazel eyes, stretching. The first thing Sam realized was that her cats weren't nearby - because she had cats. They were her creatures of choice, but that did _not_ make her the crazy cat lady. Even if some argued that was the case. (She only had three. Three! And the second and third came by happenstance.) The next thing Samantha noticed was that the ceiling did not look like it should. After all, having taken a similar vibe to a bohemian bedroom, she'd decorated her ceiling with awesome wind chimes, fairy lights, and a bohemian tapestry. So, to not see that ceiling when she had no recollection of staying over at Victoria's house was, well… unnerving. Panic filled her mind before the events of the previous day came to the forefront.

Sitting up to look out the window of the room that Kakashi had so graciously given over to the two friends, Samantha viewed the pale light streaming through Konoha. If she had to guess, Sam would say it was at least six or six-thirty in the morning. Often times, when she would head to bed early (early being at least 10p.m.) Sam would find herself waking up way too early. Usually between five and six. The burden of someone who works the night shift - or so she'd been told. Either way, with the opinion that she'd rather not have to waste her time sleeping, Samantha was okay with this set of events. Being an early riser on her days off left her with time to take full advantage of said days, without time passing too quickly while she was unconscious.

Looking to her left, Samantha noticed Victoria, arms and legs splayed every which way on what could only be called a sleeping bag where they were from. Apparently mattresses were a hard thing to come by, and with someone who never had guests stay the night, Kakashi only had this modification. Something similar to what you'd see in Japan. After all… they did tend to sleep on the floors with some type of mattress. Sam couldn't remember what they were called, though.

Stretching once more, Samantha stood up, feeling awake and ready for the day. She grabbed her clothes that Kakashi had given them, before stepping out towards the bathroom to change and do all those necessities that your body required. And soon enough, Samantha was refreshed, well… except for her hair needing a serious brushing, but that couldn't be helped until they found a way to buy a brush. _Oh yeah… how are we supposed to buy stuff in this world?_ Were they supposed to live off the funds of their guard? The thought was a little disconcerting, but some part of her remembered Kakashi's mischievous face and couldn't help but think that the man really wouldn't care.

Her soft feet padded on the floor, as Samantha never took her socks off. Well, only because Kakashi had gotten both she and Victoria another pair in lieu of their own being sweaty, smelly, and probably needing to be thrown away… but, socks were like heaven. They kept you warm and comfy. And there were so many different kinds! Soft and fluffy, some padded enough to be like slippers, and even thin enough to look like you weren't wearing socks… but best of all. They could share in your otaku needs, with patterns and characters printed and displayed on your legs for your viewing only or to share with the world. Yeah. Sammy loved socks. It was especially grand as the use of socks softened your steps, and so she felt comfortable knowing she would not be waking up their guard.

Once again dressed and admiring her outfit - Samantha looked pretty freaking awesome if she said so herself - Sam heard sounds in the kitchen. Hesitating, wondering if she should head back to the bedroom, Sam decided that since he was awake, she'd go bother Kakashi.

She came in on the sight of the fierce jounin...looking just as fierce as normal. She had been anticipating some sign that the man at least slept or something, but he was at Kakeshi-Standard: headband, tactical vest, gloves and all. The only sign that he was in his home and not a battlefield was the way he twirled a spatula around one finger rather than a shuriken. He gave Samantha a nod of good morning and then gently prodded the sizzling bacon in his pan.

Samantha bounded over to the man, a sparkly grin on her face. "O-oh! You're making breakfast!" She looked at the contents. Eggs, bacon, rice? Some sort of sauce for the rice? Pork to go with the rice? Samantha couldn't help raising her brow at the sight. "That's some variety you got there."

There was a slight hesitation as he looked over the various pans and plates on the counter. Then he gave an expressive shrug. "I wasn't sure what visiting spies ate for breakfast."

Samantha snorted out a giggle before posing a hand on her hip, "Well, I don't know about visiting spies, but I'm good with eggs and bacon!" Her eyes sparkled. "I have been known to eat rice for breakfast too, I suppose." She shrugged, "In any case… ya done good!" She patted his arm before twirling about to sit on the couch, admiring the handsome man as he cooked. Men who cooked were sexy. Victoria was missing out! Sam had half a mind to go wake the woman up just so she wouldn't miss this.

"So, do you cook breakfast every morning?" Samantha was fairly certain he didn't, but the anime never went into that kind of detail. Kakashi just never seemed the type, but who knew?

He poked at the bacon as though it were the most fascinating thing in the world. Eventually though, the jonin seemed to determine that she must have been invested in hearing his answer, so he spoke. "Not every morning." The way he said that made Sam remember the empty fridge and the almost stale quality of the air when they had first arrived the day before. As a full fledged (if former) member of the Anbu Black Ops, Kakashi probably wasn't home much. He spent most of his time on the road and in danger. Breakfast every morning was probably a rare luxury for any shinobi.

Feeling slightly silly, Samantha awkwardly nodded her head, "Gotcha," she replied. As much as she enjoyed being around people, Sam tended to stay on the quiet side. She listened more than she spoke. It's why it was good for her to have a best friend like Victoria. Tori was super amazing at coming up with conversation and weird random facts and tidbits. So, after the jounin's reply, their conversation teetered off and Samantha decided to browse the bookshelf, too much energy coursing through her to sit still. Besides, it was fun getting to read Japanese! Or at least, the little she knew. Sam was studying Japanese, but was by no means prolific in the language.

From the neighboring room, they could hear Victoria greet the morning with a rather pathetic moan. Samantha couldn't help laughing at her poor friend's misery. When Sam opened the door to that room she saw Victoria rubbing her left foot with an awful grimace and tears in her eyes. Caught in her agony, Tori tossed it off with her typical humor. "They hurt so much, SamSam" she said with exaggerated patheticness. "My soul has been slayed by the shinobi of the Hidden Leaf tribe."

"Well, that sucks," Samantha giggled, "There is a tub here… you could always soak your feet… I bet we could connive Kakashi to buy us some bath salts."

"Did you get it?" Tori said, "Soul? Like...foot soles..." She gave her long-time friend a hopeful smile. Sam knew that smile; it was the "please laugh at my pun and tell me I'm smart!" smile. Victoria wore it a lot…. So Samantha dutifully laughed and was rewarded by Victoria grinning like a total dork. "I just hope that there's no more hiking today. Do you think we could not hike today? Cuz that would be so great."

Sam grinned a dorky smile of her own, "I doubt we'll be doing any hiking… but I can't promise no walking…" She bit her lip, hesitating in her next thought, not sure how Tori would take to the idea, even if it started out as hers, "I was thinking about what you said last night. I want to see it. I want to see some actual jutsu - and not just because it's cool," Samantha warned, knowing the words that were right on the tip of Tori's lips, "Honestly… this is still all too unbelievable. I mean… Kakashi called me a visiting spy earlier, but… we had nothing to do with coming here in the first place! I feel like… if I saw it for myself… I could believe it. I could believe this place." A small frown found its way on Samantha's face as she thought about the prospects of this all being a lie. But oh, how she wanted it to be real! She really, really did.

Switching to her other foot, Victoria considered the situation as she tried to rub some of the stiffness from her arches "Well, I think we have to be really careful," she started, pointing out the most obvious. "Cuz whether we really traveled to another world or are being manipulated by a whole cast of people, either situation means that they have a ton of power over what we can do and what happens to us. I think we should try to fit in as much as we can while still being non-threatening." She chewed the inside of her lower lip thoughtfully. "Let's try to follow Kakashi's lead on this one. He seems the most chill and prone to trust us - although I really don't know why. Maybe just out of a sadistic curiosity, I guess. But let's see what he tells us to do, and we'll both try to keep a really good eye out for any chakra-based activities." She held up a thumbs up in a "we totally got this" sort of way. "Yeah?"

"You don't think we could convince him to take us to a team practicing their awesome jutsu?" Samantha questioned, not necessarily expecting an answer. "He does have a nice rivalry with Might Guy," She wiggled her eyebrows at Tori.

Tori gave her a "that sounds like a bad idea" face. "Well...I wouldn't…" she drawled slowly. "Cuz I think if we are too suspicious they will throw us in ninja jail, and I'm just too cute for prison."

Samantha laughed outright, but felt her shoulders sag, "I guess that's a good point… I just wanna see some cool jutsu…" She mumbled the last part, scratching her cheek. Sighing loudly, Samantha fell to the ground next to Tori, splaying her arms and legs out dramatically, "I miss my phone," She lamented quietly, "At least I could read some good fanfiction."

Victoria laughed at her dramatic flopping. "Well, it's not fanfiction, but I do have at least my google drive, so you could read all my old stuff. Granted, we gotta be super careful about battery life. Based on things, I'd say we are stuck somewhere in the 80s."

"You and your period based timelines…" Samantha rolled her eyes with a tiny smile. Victoria ignored her and continued her thoughts.

"We'd have to track down Boruto to have any chance of getting an iphone charger, I suppose. Do you think they could make me some sort of solar-charger? Just in case we get stuck somewhere really crazy?" Victoria had powered off her phone relatively early into their mountain trek yesterday just to make sure they would have the ability to call once they got in range. She had sneakily checked last night for any sign of a cell network and came up totally empty. For the first time in her life she considered that maybe shelling out for a satellite phone might have been a good investment...in the case that this was a serial-killer island and not Konoha.

"Hm, I highly doubt we'll get any chance for that," Samantha grunted, wondering how they were gonna spend their time without getting bored. Maybe flirting with Kakashi was their best bet. He seemed quite willing to flirt back. Suddenly, a bright idea flashed and Samantha sat up, "Oh! Dude, we should totally get, like, some notebooks and pens - do they have pens? Pencils maybe? Quills? - anyway, _just in case_ this all turns out to be some," here, Samantha whispered, " _serial killers elaborate scheme,"_ Sam ignored Tori's look of 'what have we talked about earlier' and continued onward, "That way, there'll be some concrete proof of all our hardships."

"That's...actually a pretty good idea," Victoria agreed thoughtfully. "Then, if we ever get home, you can put it on fanfiction and make all the imaginary dollars." She giggled at herself. And when Sam gave her a dry look, she instantly countered with, "What? I'm hilarious."

Samantha nodded her head in acknowledgement with a smile, but replied, "If I did it for imaginary dollars, I could buy myself a unicorn, or an ipad!." Sitting cross-legged, Samantha drew circles on the floor, "If we want those notebooks… you're gonna have to be the one who asks. You're wa-ay more quick-witted than I am. You can handle all that…" Unable to find a word, Samantha made gestures with her hands to emphasize what she was meaning, "Kakashi-ness," She finally decided upon.

Victoria gave a very undignified snort. "You think _I_ am better at handling his Royal Hotness? Girl, you cray."

"You're joking, right?" Samantha deadpanned, thinking about earlier with breakfast - which, they actually should probably go and eat. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized they were talking about Kakashi without knowing just where he was lurking in the house. She whipped her head to the door, scrutinizing the entrance.

Victoria's own gaze widened at the sudden look on Sam's face. She wasn't sure why she was freaking out, but maybe she had heard something? After a breathless moment, Kakashi's head poked out at a ninety-degree angle around the frame with his famous eye-smile. "Breakfast is ready."

Victoria's stupid cheeks flushed all stupidly bright totally giving away her stupid crush. "Morning, Kakashi-San," she mumbled.

"You don't have to be so formal, Tori-Chan," he assured. As he began to walk away from the doorway, Victoria slowly released the breath she was unconsciously holding, but then he dropped the second part of his sentence like a hammer: "You can just call me 'Your Royal Hotness.'"

Samantha's face went bright red. Though it wasn't she that Kakashi was quoting, he'd obviously overheard their conversation and could only stare at the now empty doorway, eyes wide in shock. She looked over at Tori, who looked as if she wanted to crawl into a hole. "Nothing's secret," Tori was muttering to herself, "Nothing's safe..."

Sam's eyes sparkled with amusement, before sighing and standing up. "Well, I guess we should go get something to eat!"

"I better get dressed really quick," Victoria said. Her bedhead was almost messy enough to give Kakashi's iconic hair a bit of competition. She was quick, though. With no makeup or toothbrush, the only thing that took awhile was figuring out how the fancy belt of her new outfit worked. Admittedly, she was secretly amazed and pleased that a) the clothes were actually big enough to fit her over-sized frame comfortably and b) actually looked kinda cute. She was quite pleased with her wardrobe upgrade. Sam's new clothes made her look like a kick-butt ninja, but Tori's made her feel a bit like a princess. It was a simple purple dress that she could slip right over her head, but the full skirt with its asymmetrical hem swirled and twirled and was way too much fun. Somehow, the universe had made sure that the skirt came with some black pantaloons that were nearly as comfortable as back home's yoga pants. There was even a sleeveless cardigan made of some light breezy fabric. It was perfect!

Hair tossed up more or less in a half-ponytail, the way-not-as-serious-as-an-almost-thirty-year-old-should-be-woman practically skipped into breakfast. She gave Sam a little twirl to show her outfit off. The night before she hadn't had the energy to crawl into the clean clothes after her shower and had made temporary pajamas from her leggings and under shirt. Clean clothes felt maaaarvelous!

Sam grinned, "Beautimous!" She placed her hands on her hips, "We look awesome! All set and ready for the world. Now, let's eat!" Marching off, Samantha and Victoria went to partake of the… interesting meal that Kakashi had prepared, Sammy choosing to not eat the pork, but filled her plate more full of the rice and sauce. Whatever sauce Kakashi had made, he'd done a good job. It was far more tasty than it looked.

It was very tasty, and they both made sure to say as much to their host at the end of the meal. "I'm not used to being so spoiled," Victoria quipped. She well understood the impact of praise and gratitude. It was why she playfully demanded it of her younger siblings whenever she cooked for them. "Thank you very much, Kakashi." He seemed to smile slightly behind his mask. He apparently had eaten before so the women had not gotten a chance to see his whole actual face.

"So, Kakashi." Samantha drawled near the end of their meal, "If you overheard our conversation, you know very well that we are looking for some notebooks."

He looked up from polishing his shurikens. "Are you going to write dirty stories in them?"

"Well, that wasn't the plan," Samantha smiled, raising an eyebrow _but I'm sure we could come up with something including a certain silver-haired person_ she didn't dare say aloud, but she smirked all the same, "if anything, it could be entertaining for you," _If you wanted to try to decipher English, that'd be entertaining._

"Why would it be entertaining?" He asked curiously. After all, it was clear that dirty stories would have been his preferred entertainment.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see, eh?" Sam smiled, cheekily.

Throwing caution to the wind - he had apparently overheard most of what they had said anyways - Victoria voiced another request. "Sam has always wanted to see what it's like when real shinobu fight each other," Tori declared. "Would there be any chance of that happening before we get to go home?"

Samantha's eyes lit up at the thought, turning her hopeful glance towards Kakashi. "I mean, I know it's a lot to ask… considering Might Guy's obvious suspicion of us…"

Victoria, ever the sneaky Hufflepuff saw right where Sam was going with this. Rising, she began to clear their dishes as a way to subconsciously encourage Kakashi to agree to their requests. "That's true," she said, her voice innocent, "And Might Guy is not just a jounin but a teacher too, so he must be pretty well informed about the importance of safety. We wouldn't want to get him in trouble by watching his students spar."

"That's a good point. Though, I don't know that he'd get in trouble so much as that he's intimidated," Samantha said with a droll look back towards Victoria. She did, however, get up and help with the dishes too. "I think he was worried he couldn't both over-see sparring and watch us."

"Oooh, I can see how that would be difficult for someone," Victoria mused.

Kakashi tucked away the last of his newly cleaned shurikens and stood. "Are you two trying to manipulate my decision by using my well-known rivalry with Might Guy against me?" He asked lightly. In the same breath he then answered himself, "Because it's quite effective. Let's go."

Samantha fist-pumped and ran for her shoes as Victoria's triumphant, evil giggle followed at her footsteps.

* * *

The training grounds were really quite a pleasant little square of parkland. There were trees, and nice grass..some lovely decorative boulders… Victoria was a personal fan of the boulders as they made an awesome viewing spot for the three of them. Crossing her legs tailor-style, she fluffed her skirt out around, grinning a little at feel of the soft fabric. She grinned happily at Samantha who was sitting right nearby and was practically quivering with excitement. Their warden, Kakashi was posed high above them both. His chosen boulder was a good fifteen feet tall, but directly backed the much more reasonable rocks Sam and Tori had found. There, he crouched, his sharp eyes easily seeing all that was going on across the wide, manicured fields.

"Okay, so you're gonna explain what all's going on for me, right?" Victoria said, wiggling her toes. As soon as they had been seated, she had happily removed her shoes. Sam might have loved socks, but Victoria felt the best, most happiest in a world where shoes weren't needed. Socks, like shoes, were just a necessary evil. "First, tell me again what the rankings are. First, they gotta go to the academy, right?"

"That's correct! They start off, I think, when they're around… seven… in the academy," Samantha stated quietly, eagerly filling Victoria's ears with 'Ninja Terms 101'. As she got to the point of explaining different types of styles, Tori paused her with a wiggly finger wave.

"Wait up, so you're saying that Rock Lee can't do any of the magic chakra ball stuff? What about the 'Poof! That's a log, I'm actually over here' thing?"

Samantha bit her lip, pausing. She had to think long and hard over that one; trying to relive watching the anime, racking her brain over any instance that Rock Lee might have used the substitution jutsu. Her mind came up blank. "As far as I can remember, he cannot. Rock Lee can still mold chakra, hence being able to climb walls and all that jazz, but he can't effectively use ninjutsu at all. Though… I know he can dispel genjutsu if he's ever caught in one - except the infi… erm… well, that last thing that happened in the anime where no one could get out of it… anyways." It was near the end of her speech that Sam realized that Kakashi could have been listening in on their conversation; after all, he was not shy about having done so before.

"It's amazing how you've studied so much about shinobi and their jutsus and stuff," Victoria tossed out there for the benefit of Kakashi's listening ears. "I really should know more about them, but there's just so few where we live." She gave Sam a tiny, reassuring wink. "Hopefully they will get here soon and then you can see what it's really like!"

Sam's eyes eagerly observed the training grounds while Tori spoke, looking forward to seeing the iconic taijutsu team. Watching them would be very informative; and Samantha knew that this was the 'tell all' moment that would either break her denial or further confirm Tori's insisstance. If Neji were to use his byakugan, or Tenten were to pull out a scroll and poof into existence tons of weapons from out of nowhere… it would be hard to say "hey, yeah, this is all fake, ya know! We aren't actually _in_ Konoha". And the prospects of them actually being _in_ Konoha… well… Samantha felt a giddy nervousness at the thought. Giddy because, well,, who _wouldn't_ want to see their favorite character's in action? It was only the reasons for why they were actually _able to see_ their favorite character's in action _in person_ that gave Sam anxiety. To this thought, Sam rubbed her hands against her legs, feeling her palms clam up. Whatever the reason they were here, she would not give up the opportunity to enjoy the atmosphere of Konoha.

"Oh! I think I see them coming!" Sam quietly proclaimed, pointing a finger in the direction she could see the tricklings of the team's appearance.

It was very easy to spot the tall, broad form of Might Guy, but it was a bit longer before Victoria and her slightly out of focus glasses to spot the three junior ninjas that orbited around his muscled girth. The skinny one, she knew: it was Rock Lee! Then there was a rather sulky looking kid dressed in white. With the long black hair, it was hard to be sure, but Tori had the feeling that the genin was a boy. Girls just tended to wear the 'disgruntled with the world' look a little more elegantly. The third character was, in her mind, rather adorable and reminded her of that one girl from _CardCaptors_. It was probably the little buns. Victoria leaned near to Sam and pointed her out. "I bet she's the most boss of them all," she declared with a grin. "Bunheads are the best."

"Hah!" Sam snorted, "If you say so." She winked as they watched the team come to attention in front of Might Guy. They couldn't hear anything from their position off the field, but from the looks on each students faces, it was quite obvious the man was being his flowery self. "I'm just looking forward to seeing them fight! I bet they're all awesome. It amazes me sometimes how talented and hard-working ninja kids can be. Seriously, to become experts would be super tiring." Samantha turned her head towards Tori, keeping her eyes trained on the team, "Who do you think is gonna spar, first?"

"I dunno," she admitted honestly, shrugging away the question. "So..how old are these kids? Like..thirteen? Fourteen?" At Sam's correction that they were thirteen, Victoria grimaced a little. "That's the same age as Kallie," she murmured, naming one of her little siblings. It was a little unfathomable. Kallie could barely be prodded into putting her laundry away. Tori couldn't even imagine her running in gym class, much less training all day. She shook her head incredulously. "It's just insane. But..kind of a little cool. Granted, I want to beat the face of whoever came up with the plan that such little peoples could be expected to risk their lives in battle, but way cool that they have like, purpose, and goals and stuff."

"Whoa, dude, it's weird when you put it into perspective like that." Samantha said, thinking of Tori's siblings. Sam had siblings, but her youngest sister was officially in her twenties now. Tori had a larger family, with some whose ages matched up with the anime characters. Or… real life people… "It's kinda sad that they have more purpose in their life than I've ever had. At least… by way of reaching their goals. There'll all so tiny! I wanna pinch their cheeks." Samantha made the motions of pinching cheeks, snickering.

Victoria laughed brightly. "But also, that's how old we were when we met! So, maybe those guys will be friends for life too." She leaned over to bump their shoulders together playfully. A fresh breeze blew past, stirring their hair and making the whole moment feel like it would be a perfect time to have a Hayao Miyazaki soundtrack start to play. "Oo! Look, the grumpy kid and Rock Lee are gonna fight!"

Sam's eyes whipped back to the fight, her grin growing into awe and excitement. "I can't believe we're gonna watch this. It almost feels like the _Hunger Games_. Ne?" Because setting children out to fight with the intent of winning was the exact premise of that book. The only difference was that these tiny ninja were making it their lifestyle. Like, joining the military. From a young age. 'Cause that wasn't weird or anything. Sam laughed at her thought as Lee and Neji began their first strike. Perhaps it was the intensity of the fighting, but their voices resonated loudly enough for the wind to carry the sound to Tori and Sam's eager ears.

"This time!" Rock Lee cried out, "This time I will defeat you, Neji!"

"If you think you can beat me, Lee, think again. You've got no chance!"

Neji moved into his Hyūga stance, left arm up in a "come get me" position, right arm held near his person, legs bent and spread enough for balance. _This is it_ Samantha's heart beat wildly as she watched the two. _This will determine the reality of Konoha's existence._ And it really would. No one could fake the byakugan, right? Then, within a split second, the cry of "Byakugan!" came from the young ninja's lips, and his eyes, just as they had in the anime, sprang with veins. Samantha, for all her denial, could no longer say this world was fake. Could no longer try and tell herself that she could just go home if she really wanted to. The thought was terrifying. Except, her heart beat quicker with the realization. This was real. This was…. This was really Konoha! Sam could hardly move as the fighting in front of them commenced.

Neji blocked Rock Lee's kick with his right arm. Both their faces pinched in concentration. At least… that was what they could see with the few brief moments. Samantha watched in amazement. Seeing them fight on T.V. was one thing, but to see it in person? It was like that moment in the _Boruto_ movie when Hinata saw Boruto place the Konoha headband on his head and her hair whipped back as she saw Naruto - as he had been - where Boruto stood. Sam's heart skipped a beat just seeing them fight.

Rock Lee moved so quickly, it was as if he was a race car. Even more impressive was the fact that Neji blocked _every single kick and punch_ , as if it was easy for him. Though, the closer that Samantha looked, she could see Neji's clenched face. At least he was doing _some_ exerting, right? It was good for the boy who so often felt he was above the crowd. Like the most popular girl in a sorority. Still, hopefully the time would be soon when the boy fought Naruto and had his perspective change. It would be good for the kid. He was much cooler that way.

Neji went in for a strike, aiming for Rock Lee's chest, and the green clad boy flipped backwards, avoiding the movement with lighting speed. They had moved only a few paces from where they stood originally, both boys huffing. Lee more than Neji. Suddenly, with quick movements, Neji bolted forward and struck Lee in the right shoulder, and Samantha, Tori, and their silver-haired guardian watched on as the boy flew backwards, landing hard on the ground and sliding at least a foot. It was simple to see this was the end of the match.

Letting out a breath that Samantha didn't know she was holding, she sat back on her haunches, not even realizing she had scooted forward to "get a closer look".

"That was…. That was _amazing!_ " she said, her voice light.

Victoria looked a little horrified. "We have such different ideas of what that word means," Tori choked. "Where are their parents? Those kids could have killed each other! They could have killed each other!" She turned and gestured widely at the field. "Who's idea was this?"

They heard an odd sound come from above, and they both looked up, but Kakashi's well-masked face didn't betray if it was a laugh or a scoff that he had just uttered. He then silently pointed back out to the genin and their sensei. It was then that they noticed the Hyuuga boy looking in their direction. Sam's eyes widened as she realized he knew, and had probably known since the beginning of his fight, that they had an audience.

Victoria, ever the skilful people person gave a little wave and laughed awkwardly. "I'm sure Might Guy loves this.." she joked.

"He'll be happy to see some 'youthful faces' taking in the action, right?" Sam supplied as well. She watched as Might Guy marched his way towards them, taking his whole persona in with a new light. She blinked up at Kakashi once more, smiling back at his eye smile, before glancing forward again to see Might Guy closing in on them with his team following suit.

"Kakashi!" spewed the man, "What in the world are you doing here!" His demanding tone insinuated anger, but his eyes shown with what could only be described as jealous admiration. It was fascinating to see the look in real life.

Sam and Victoria both jumped as Kakashi suddenly dropped straight down to land on the ground just in front of their boulder. The silver haired jounin tossed his head just slightly, sending his flyaway locks to greater heights. He gave a two fingered wave at Might Guy's students. "Enjoying the fine weather. It's a lovely day, isn't it?"

Might Guy's eyes flared, "Who cares about the weather! What are you doing bringing these two here?" His hand gestured towards the two girls, keeping his eyes trained on his fellow jounin. The three genin stood behind their sensei, Lee waving enthusiastically at Sam and Tori, Tenten looking confused as she noticed her teammates obvious knowledge of them, and Neji, who had a permanent scowl on his face, arms folded across his chest.

Kakashi gave an elegant shrug, nothing at all in his stance gave way in the face of Might Guy's displeasure. It gave an air of silent cockiness that was a million times more effective than the shouting or the scowling of Team Guy's approach. It was also unfairly attractive, if you asked Tori. "You mean my lovely house guests? They wanted some sunshine and this beautiful, _public_ park seemed like an excellent choice. We couldn't have anticipated the show." He gave a small wave at Neji and Rock Lee to indicate their role in the entertainment. Never mind that the exact spot at the furthest end of said park was almost always exclusively used by jounin to train their young teammates. It was, technically, totally acceptable for Kakashi to have brought them there….not that he would have been stopped by a little town zoning from doing whatever he really wanted to.

The exasperation seemed to exhume from the mighty Green Beast as he huffed before replying, "You knew very well that my team would be training just on the other side, Kakashi." Might Guy barked with grudging admiration, "Who knows what spy information they might have gathered. It is not wise to share the strength of our ninja!" By this point, Might Guy's whole body had gone from stalk straight, to frustrated fist clenching. One fist directed solely in front of Kakashi's face.

The former black ops member's expression seemed to silently warn the danger that would answer an outright threat to him. At seeming odds was the bright smile curving through the soft fabric of his mask. "The boundary of your training grounds are right here," he said with excessive cheerfulness as he gestured from one side of Might Guy to just behind Tenten like a helpful stewardess. "You may want to know since we do have visiting spies in Konoha. Aren't you glad we were here to inform you, old friend?" His flippancy seemed to play at Might Guy's indignation.

Victoria leaned over to grip Sam's hand. She was getting kind of nervous from all the pointy-eyed looks going on. The way Kakashi-San acted: playing at the other jounin's temper, reminded her of how he span the razor-sharp shurikens as though they were harmless fidget-spinners. _Maybe this guy just likes to flirt with death? I will never understand adrenaline junkies!_

Samantha squeezed Tori's hand with what was hopefully a comforting assurance that whatever happened, they were in it together. But she was unable to glance away from the scene in front of her. Kakashi was such a tease, taunting his fellow ninja with such a flippant attitude. It was curious that the man wasn't as worried about their spy status as Might Guy seemed to be, but the thought was so fleeting, she forgot she'd had it a second later as the events played out before them.

It was incredible to see how, when the jounin wasn't trying, Might Guy revealed a lot through his expression. The predictable "Kakashi is just so cool!" was evident on the man's face, and Samantha would have snickered to herself had the situation not had a tense atmosphere about it.

"Who cares if they watch, Sensei. If they want to try and defeat our forces, let them. They'll soon come to regret their decision." The obvious 'mightier than thou' attitude of Neji Hyūga spoke above the competitive air the two sensei had adopted, his eyes calculating as he observed Samantha and Victoria.

Might Guy whipped around, pointing what could have been an accusing finger towards his arrogant student, "It is of good practice, Neji, to assume that if an enemy knows your strengths, he will find your weakness and defeat you. This is why we cannot condone the audience of spies in our midst!" He'd directed his last statement towards Kakashi, eyes narrowed.

"Your sensei is right about the first," Kakashi told the younger shinobis. He then jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the two women. "But these two, with the exception of their singing voices, are harmless." He gave Might Guy a small shrug. "They are friends of an old friend. And, quite honestly, pretty clueless. They'd make terrible spies even if they tried."

Neji folded his arms, as if in slight protest to the sensei, glaring at the two girls. As for Samantha: at Kakashi's proclamation, her heart skipped a beat, a miniscule gasp escaping her lips as her eyes widened a smidgen. Even if him calling them clueless made Sam want to protest, it brought back the conversation that was had because of her, albeit friggin' awesome hat. She'd forgotten the lie she'd proclaimed earlier about her hat that had the Konoha symbol tacked onto it that was based off the Konoha forehead protector. It satisfied her otaku needs in her world, but it must've seemed like blasphemy to the ninja here. Especially with her newfound knowledge that they were not pretending to be who they were.

Then, to have Kakashi further their lie, taking it on himself, it almost seemed as if he knew exactly who Tobi was. If the man ever inquired about this "friend" of theirs, Samantha wasn't sure what she would do. There was no way she could let him find out about the man before it was time. Who knew what consequences that would make! Let alone including Victoria in on who Tobi was. For all Tori knew, Tobi was someone she had made up. Which, she hadn't. Still, Sam's stomach twisted in anxiety as she waited for the staring contest the two jounin had, to end.

Finally, after what felt like hours to Samantha, Might Guy eased into a relaxed stance, nodding slightly in resigned acceptance. "Alright. If you feel you can trust these two, then I shall do the same." Might Guy's countenance did a complete one-eighty, smiling brightly at both women. "Let me be the next to say, welcome to Konoha!" He extended his hand towards them, and Samantha shook it, blinking in surprise. Neji 'hmphed' while Tenten smiled brightly and Rock Lee jumped what could have been a foot in the air,

"It's nice to meet you!" Tenten took a small step forward, "My name's Tenten. Don't mind these guys in green, they can be a little overbearing sometimes,"

Victoria jumped down off their boulder and handshakes were exchanged with smiles. "Hey Girl," she smiled at the intrepid female warrior. "I love your hair. What kind of fighting do you do?" Her inner girl-Scout-leader instantly loved Tenten. She gave Rock Lee a high five as silent acknowledgment of his awesome work.

"My specialty is weapons!" Tenten stated, proudly.

"She is the best of the best!" Rock Lee chimed in, standing excitedly next to Tenten, "No one can beat her at her precision with weapons." His obvious gushing about his teammate was endearing, and Samantha instantly liked the young ninja far more than she had ever had in the manga or anime. It was interesting how meeting a character could change your personal opinion of them.

"That's so awesome!" Samantha exclaimed as she looked at Tori, conveying her excitement through her shining eyes. It was just too bad that Tori couldn't appreciate this in the same way Sam could! It dawned on Samantha as they exchanged pleasantries, that Tori's attraction to Kakashi didn't have to be a one way street - Because o-oh, the man was hot! - and she smiled mischievously at Tori.

Tori and Sam were instantly inundated by the young genin's enthusiastic responses to their praise and questions. Even the sulky Neji was pulled in by Sam's cheering of his byakugan. In the middle of Tenten and Rock Lee's eager recounting of a mission they had gone on earlier that month, Victoria uneasily felt eyes boring at her. Looking up over Neji's shoulder, she saw Might Guy and Kakashi in deep conversation. She lightly nudged Sam's side and flicked a quick glance over at the two men. True, it seemed that they were possibly in the clear, but it still seemed like the uneasy trust they had been granted would be tenuous at best. They really needed to be careful, but maybe now that Sam believed, it would be easier to unite behind a plan. Somehow, they had to figure out who had sent them here and how they could possibly get home.

* * *

With the evidence that Konoha was real, and that they had actually been placed in a different dimension, Samantha felt giddy trepidation. On one had, they were in Konoha. They actually got to meet the legendary Copy-Cat ninja, Kakashi! It meant that not only was this ninja a super genius, but that he had fully taken upon himself to cater to the two women without any regards for who they really were. It still bothered her a little that the man seemed to have no qualms about traipsing around the village, sightseeing all the local shops and entertainment. Well, only a little really, as the man had a calculating eye. _Being a super genius must have done something to make him question their appearance in his village. Right?_

They were currently sitting at a booth in a barbeque restaurant, courtesy of Kakashi, joined by Team Guy, when Samantha made to move from her seat. "Excuse me, I need to… powder my nose." With a glance at Tori, Samantha gestured with her eyes for her friend to follow, wanting to talk about the happenings in Konoha in private. Since there were ears everywhere they went, the bathroom in a public area seemed the safest place to chat. Hopefully it wasn't a one person bathroom.

Upon finding successfully that the bathroom was made for multiple people to use, Samantha waited for the door to shut behind Victoria. Double checking that no one else was in the bathroom, Sam spun quickly on her heels, bursting with thoughts.

"Tori!" Sam proclaimed, "Konoha is real!"

"I know," Victoria said with a little bit of a smirk. "I tried to tell you yesterday." She tossed her hair over one shoulder, playfully preening. "It's like..I'm the true believer. How ever will you forgive yourself for wasting your first meet and greet with the real flesh Naruto by thinking he was some crazy child actor?" She tsked her friend's lack of insight.

"Pfft, just because I was skeptical at first does not mean that I'm not a true believer." Samantha protested, "Besides. It was perfectly logical to think that this place couldn't have been real. I mean.. I've read _and_ watched Naruto more times than I can count! For it to suddenly become real..." Then, she registered what Tori had said, "That was actually Naruto we met! That means… that means that the entire village hates Naruto." A pang shot through her heart, "I feel like we should do something about that! Wait… has Kakashi already become their jounin sensei? Mm, probably not since he's not mentioned having his own team to train… what was it the Hokage had mentioned to Kakashi before?" She'd mumbled half her sentence, before turning to Victoria for the last question.

Victoria watched her friend and felt just a little triumphant as someone on the other side of the epiphany. But then she had to think for a second as to what Hokage and His Royal Hotness had talked about. "He said he was going to spend the week reading. And..something else. I don't know, I was kind of distracted by his hair." Crinkling her nose, Victoria turned to check out her appearance in the bathroom mirrors. "Oi. Look at _my_ hair!" She began to finger-comb it as fast as she could. "But he for sure said something about next week, so I think he must be waiting on something. Wait, it's graduation, doesn't that mean Naruto and Sasuke and them are gonna be a team now?"

"Graduation?" Samantha repeated, "Oh my goodness! I had completely forgotten that they were talking about that! Which means that they'll be a team next week.. Wait! That also means that the crucial time when Naruto comes to find out that someone actually cares about him happens! With Iruka. And.. and that douchebag Mizuki cons him into stealing the forbidden scroll…" As Sam began to think, she'd begun to rub her chin, and biting her thumb, her brow furrowed. She swivelled her glance back at Tori, pushing her pale blue hair behind her ear, "Do you know what this means?"

"You know which episode we're on?" Victoria guessed. She began to swiftly braid her hair into an Elsa-like plait. It was the only hope until she found a real brush. "And...something really cool is about to happen?"

"Well, actually, we've come to a time before the anime actually starts, _but!_ That's not what I was gonna say," She placed her hands on Tori's shoulders, "we could totally mess things up if we're not careful."

"Maybe we already have," Victoria pointed out. "If we're before things start.." She raised an eyebrow at Sam's closeness. "Any change to a timeline can change everything, Sam-Sam. That's why I hate time-travel stories. They either ignore that or play with it way too much."

"Nah, I highly doubt we've changed anything… I mean… we've hardly interacted with Naruto, and we haven't even seen Sasuke or Sakura. And we know very little about who Kakashi knows, apart from the main themes that were introduced in the manga. But there's so much of his life that's left unsaid." Sam let out a breath, leaning against the sink in the bathroom. It was surprisingly clean, despite the hint that it could or should have been otherwise.

Victoria twisted the ponytail holder around the end of her braid, praying that it would never be lost and live a very long and useful life. "Well..unless guard duty of us means that Kakashi doesn't get assigned as the troublesome trio's sensei," she couldn't help pointing out. "Imagine if they got stuck with someone else. Like..I dunno, one of the bug people." She didn't know enough of the older generation to identify anyone by name beyond Might Guy.

The idea of changing which genin team Kakashi received disturbed Sam, "Hmm," She replied, thinking hard on their meeting with the Third Hokage and Kakashi, "I doubt we'd change it _that_ much. I mean… we can't… if we do… I can't promise I won't protest to the Third Hokage… I mean… this team is super important! Not only for Naruto but also for Kakashi! And Sakura, even. I mean… I doubt Sakura would have even petitioned Tsunade to become a medic nin if not for all the events that happened with Naruto and Sasuke…"

"Whoa, whoa, bad idea, Sam-Sam," Victoria said, raising both hands in warning. "Think of _Lost in Austen_. If you spend all your energy trying to force the storyline, everything will go to crap! The best thing to do is just try to let things play out but don't stand in the way of anything...unless it's obvious that something small is supposed to happen because of us. Like Hermione and the Time-Turner. We gotta avoid interaction with the original timeline as much as possible, otherwise we might ruin everything!"

"Yeah, but if Kakashi never gets his team, that's a major change!" Samantha determined fiercely, "We can't let that happen..." She turned towards Tori once more, "There's no way that this is going to be like those fanfictions I've read…. Where we follow the whole cast of Naruto and are along for the ride kinda thing… I wonder why we're here. What could be the purpose."

"Maybe the universe just decided that we had worked hard enough at real life and deserved a bit of fan service?" Victoria gave a "that could be it, right?" grimace and then laughed to herself. "But, no, you're right. Everything happens for a reason. We just need to figure it out. In the meantime, I really do gotta pee..but then we should get back out there. Don't want them getting suspicious again! Might Guy is kinda scary when he thinks you're an enemy of Konoha.."

Samantha snorted, "Fan service, hah! Wouldn't that be fun?" She ran a hand through her hair, "Might Guy is a big ol' softie on the inside, though. Anyway, I didn't actually have to go," she confessed, "So you go on ahead, I'll meet ya out there."

"Don't steal anyone's heart while I'm gone," Victoria quipped. "Or give away future plot points!" She stuck out her tongue just for good measure. Samantha responded in kind, before leaving the bathroom.

When Samantha got back out to the table, she was a little bugged to see that her chair had a new occupant: a large, slightly dirty combat boot was planted firmly on the place where she was meant to sit. The boot was attached to a man - a shinobi, based off his clothing - who was confidently leaning back and bragging. Sam couldn't actually hear what he was saying yet, but the tossed back shoulders and sneering face practically screamed that he was probably boasting about something or other. She noticed with amusement that every single one of their lunch companions looked bored out of their minds by whatever was being said. After a second, she figured out who the ungentlemanly guy must be. The shoulder-length gray hair… bandana wrapped around his forehead… Sam was startled to realize it was that douchebag Mizuki!

"Excuse me," She said, voice a little harder than she meant it to be, "Your boot is in my seat," All occupants at the table looked between Sam and Mizuki, and Samantha had to hold herself still as the silver-haired shinobi - not to be mistaken for the suave Kakashi - looked her up and down, a smirk on his face.

"My apologies, milady," he said, sweeping her a small bow that Sam didn't believe in the slightest. The dude then pulled out her chair and gestured to it as though he were bestowing a great favor for her by pulling it out from the table. His fine manners might have worked on other people, but Sam knew full well that this dude was going to manipulate poor little Naruto! She wanted to exploit his character to all who sat at the table. Punch him in the face for all his fake attitude. But without actually having any evidence to back up her feelings, all Sam could do was bite the inside of her cheek. She gave one last, attempted non-glare, at Mizuki, before taking her seat back, sliding herself forwards without the man's help.

Mizuki didn't seem bothered by her ignoring him. He leaned so that his hand braced against the back of Samantha's chair, and continued his speaking. "But, yes, the final exams are going quite well. We only have a few more to complete tomorrow and then we'll have a whole batch of young genin to introduce to the whole village. Will you be attending the ceremonies, Might Guy? Kakashi?"

Samantha leaned away from the back of the chair, uncomfortable with the man's close proximity, as Might Guy responded, "Well, Mizuki-San, it would be rather unusual for me to attend a graduation ceremony as I've already got my genin team." His 'why are you even asking me a pointless question' tone was blatant to all those around.

Mizuki elegantly tossed his hand out as though collecting their praise as he declared, "I, of course, along with the other Graduation Board members, will attend. It's a very important moment in our village's history, after all." Samantha rolled her eyes at his boasting.

Rock Lee tilted his head to one side. His large, black eyes caught Samantha's and he widened them further at her. Embarrassed at being caught, Sam innocently looked back, as if she hadn't rolled her eyes in the first place. Rock Lee's expressive eyes gleamed knowingly. Setting his elbows on the table, he leaned his chin in both hands and blinked up at Mizuki as though fully fascinated by what he was blathering about.

For the first time, Samantha wondered if Rock Lee (broccoli? She mentally snickered to herself) was more intelligent than he was made out to be. If so, how much did he actually understand her reactions? Not to mention, if Rock Lee could deem how she was feeling, then it must be quite obvious to the older jounin. Sam looked at Neji and Tenten, relieved to find that their attention was heretofore _not_ on her. Mizuki's lack of respect for personal space as he boasted on about himself disgusted her and Sam wished she could elbow him in the nards to get him to back off.

It was at about that same time that Victoria flounced back to their table. She had to twist her wide hips sideways to scoot down the narrow path between their table and the neighboring one. "Oh, excuse me," she said to the man who stood just behind Sam's chair. She totally didn't notice the weird tension at the table, nor did she see the way that Mizuki seemed to also size her up and down and then the utterly dismissive look away. She didn't see, but Sam did, tensing, and also saw the way their warden suddenly leaned forward. His gloved finger pointedly tapped the table in front of him.

"Mizuki-San, I think you should probably get back to those duties," Kakashi said, "They sound very important."

"Oh, yes, they are!" Mizuki declared, straightening his back and still not moving away from his chosen spot over Samantha's shoulder. "Why I have to -"

"Then we really shouldn't keep you," Kakashi said with a declarative flatness that soon had Mizuki stumbling away.

Taking her seat, and noticing now the weird tension, Tori leaned over to Sam to murmur, "Who was that?"

"I'll tell ya later," Samantha replied, a part of her wishing she could take a bath. The man left her with an icky feeling, something Sam had not expected to get in Konoha. Perhaps it had to do with getting used to the fact that this was a real world in the first place, but dealing with nasty dudes was not a situation Samantha thought she'd end up dealing with. Apparently there were the creepers everywhere. That was definitely naive of her to have thought otherwise. She shuddered.

* * *

Victoria and Samantha were not at all sure just how it was that they ended up where they were. Mentally retracing the afternoon, they had finished lunch, spent some more time chatting with Team Guy, and then gone shopping for incidentals like hair brushes and more socks. (Sam loved shopping for socks.) Then they had stopped past a bookstore. Victoria had finally admitted to Kakashi that they couldn't read the hiragana here. She declared honestly that their home had a completely different writing style. He nodded sagely and then bought them their notebooks and pencils before loading up both his arms with new novels of his own. Noticing the photos on some of the paperbacks, Victoria blushed to high heaven. Sam teased her horribly about it as Kakashi gleefully checked out. They had only been at home for a few minutes before Kakashi suddenly swept them back outside. Then they found themselves...here.

"It's...kabuki, I think," Victoria whispered, leaning close to Samantha as the crowded theater around them eagerly chattered, discussing what they could see of the stage. "I mean, probably not quite the same as back home, but with the musicians and the different levels..Oh, but maybe it will be bunraku!" She brightened up eagerly at the thought. "That would be so awesome!" As a former theater major, Tori could think of nothing cooler than seeing the nearly life-sized puppets that took two or even four puppeteers to manipulate. She waved her hands in excited little circles as a tall couple scooted down the row of seats in front of them.

"So… what's kabu- whatever it is you'd said? And the other one that starts with 'bun'?" Samantha asked, her eyes marveling at the awesome theater costuming that even the building itself held.

Victoria smirked. "Oh wait, you mean now I'm the one who knows all the fancy vocabulary?" The redhead teased. "Kabuki is a theater using large masks or face paint. It's usually got lots of gods or heroes in it. It's kinda like commedia, but from Japan...but, now that I look at the stage, I think it's going to be bunraku! Bunraku is puppet theater, but the puppets are huge, like three or four feet tall, and the puppeteers walk them around the stage. Funnily enough, the puppeteers wear all black and they are where the idea of ninjas always wearing all black comes from! Hey, I know something about ninjas you didn't know!" She grinned triumphantly at Samantha.

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in," Sam stuck out a tongue, "But that sounds super interesting! You'll have to tell me which one this ends up being. Er… well I guess it'd be easy to figure out if they end up using puppets…" She laughed at herself, "I had no idea that Konoha had stuff like this here… I guess because all we see are the Ninja's side of things, what the common folk do is a complete mystery."

Tori tilted her head slightly. "I wonder what else they do," she mused, "I mean, there are such weird gaps in technology. Like, they have electricity, but I haven't seen any cars. And they have mass-produced print, but no tvs or home telephones." She stared thoughtfully out at the crowd. "But I saw photographs, so they have cameras. I wonder if they've created movie cameras yet. Or even just animation. If not, I'm so showing them a zoetrope so that by the time little Boruto's born they can actually have movies."

"Well, I don't think you need to worry about that, they've got all that stuff by the time Boruto arrives. It's beyond me how that's even possible, but hey, anime is anime I suppose." Sam shrugged, turning her attention on Kakashi, who seemed to be conveniently reading his newly purchased book. "Are you going to be reading, even during the play?"

He looked to Samantha. "Oh, would you like me to share?" He asked innocently. "I'm sorry, I should have offered earlier. They are just getting to the good part. 'Natsume gently parted the folds of Riko's kimono with the same tenderness as the autumnal winds strip bear the mighty oak tree, leaving her pale, round- '"

"Nope! Nope, I'm okay." Samantha sputtered, her face heating at the audacity the man had of even reading the book out loud in such a public place. She turned towards Tori, "Remind me never to ask about his books, again. I'm pretty sure this is the second time he's done this."

"At least it sounds like he has good taste," Victoria pointed out. "That was a very nice metaphor." Samantha's eyebrows rose to Victoria's admittance, "I mean.." she blushed a little. "Not that I want to read the rest. You know I left that life behind.."

Samantha couldn't help the smile trying to find its way on her face, "Uh huh," she teased, "If you say so," She winked and stuck out her tongue. She couldn't help it, Victoria was far too cheeky.

Still flushed, Victoria narrowed her eyes back at the likewise-cheeky Sam. "I do," she said pertly. "I keep my love stories rated PG, now, thank you very much. …...Maybe PG-13 some days..."

"Heh, I guess I have been known to see some rated R shows…" Samantha turned forward innocently, the lights in the theater dimming to announce the beginning of the play starting. "Shh! It's starting," She said to Tori, a finger on her lips to say 'no talking'.

"Shh! You're a punk!" Tori countered, but she eagerly settled in to watch the play.

"Hah, you wish," Samantha muttered, keeping her eyes straight.

"Keep it down, Samantha-Chan. I'm trying to read. You too, Tori-Chan."

* * *

Deleted Scene: Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Ninjas

"Man… I miss my Peds!" Samantha lamented, "They're the best brand." Her fingers stroked the socks on the sock pile in front of her, trying to decide which would fit her feet the best.

"These..kinda look like them?" Victoria said, offering a package of white socks with the fancy ribbing around the arches and ankles. "Sturdy, at least." She already had her selection: a stack of thin socks that covered only as high as the ankle. Sadly, they only came in shinobi blue. She had searched for socks with fancy patterns or pictures, but only the little kid, knee-highs came in anything but solid.

"Yeah.. but are they _soft_?" Sam wondered, as softness was an important factor when it came to socks. "If they're not soft, they're definitely not worth the buy."

Victoria turned and replaced the shunned, not-soft-enough socks. Spying a distinctive head of dark hair, she siddled down the aisle and then smirked. Sauntering back over to Sam's side, she poked her shoulder repeatedly until her friend finally looked up. "Who did you never ever think you would run into while buying socks?" she asked.

"Uuuh, I have no idea. No one, actually. I mean… who ever thought ninja went shopping in the first place?" Because really, when did any shonen manga show the ninja _shopping_ of all things?

Tori tugged her down the aisle and then discreetly pointed between the gap in two displays. "It's Sasuke Uchi-whatever," she whispered. "Little white shorts and all." She giggled, just cuz the ridiculousness of it. Sasuke was supposed to be the cool kid of the anime and of all the places for them to spot him, the sock store was definitely the least interesting.

"No way!" Samantha giggled, watching the moody soon-to-be genin sift through socks, before deciding on the pair he wanted. She pouted, wishing she could find just the perfect pair herself. "Oh hey! I've got an idea!" With one swift movement, Samantha whipped out the marble she kept in her pocket at all times, clasping it between the palms of her hands in a prayer-like manner, closing her eyes tightly, "I wish for my socks from my sock drawer!" She desired, desperately.

After a long moment, Victoria leaned over and whispered. "Nothing's happening. I don't think the shiny ball works like that…"

Samantha peeked an eye open, shoulders sagging at the failed attempt, "It was worth a shot," She lamented once again, stuffing the marble in her pocket.

Tori laughed and gave Sam a quick hug. "And if it did..you were really gonna wish for socks? I'd go for Dr. Pepper! Or some Nutella!"

"Touché!" Sam laughed, "So! What do you think Sasuke would do if we had some socks suddenly cascading over him like a waterfall?"

"Probably cry about his clan or something," Tori mused. "Or just dramatically work it like when it starts raining in a k-pop music video." She laughed at herself then. "Oh man, in some way, we are such well-rounded nerds. ...Especially me!" Placing her hands over her belly she swayed ridiculously.

Samantha threw a pair of socks at Tori's head, "Oh, quiet, you!"

* * *

 **A/N: YAY! New Chapter! It's extra long, just for you wonderful readers, you. Not to mention... *drum roll* our amazing reviewers! mrenteria99 and Miss Nanami-Chan! Thank you for your support in reviewing! We would grovel at your feet, but we kinda need our hands to continue writing. So, we'll make due with sitting xD**

 **Anyway! We hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and... duhn duuhn duuuuuuuh! you got to see that there is a plot afoot! mwahahaha *whispers like the pregnant lady in Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood* it's coming!**

 **As always, we only own our character's and nothing else you see here. Let us know what you thought of the chapter by Reading and Reviewing! Also, if you favorite and/or follow us... that makes us super giddy, as well. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: ...That Eventually A Call to Adventure Must Break Up the Fun**

If Sam and Victoria could have been called up to imagine the best three days to spend in a world without internet or Disneyland, their next few days in Konoha would have been pretty close to their hypothetical itinerary. There were a few more light-hearted shopping trips for groceries and hairbrushes and more pencils. They got to tour some of the iconic buildings including the mostly-empty Academy. A sneaky Victoria had managed to snap a few photos for Sam with her phone of Sam sitting in the fabled desks. They did hike back up to Hokage Mountain one day - this time with plenty of fresh water and a nice picnic lunch - just so that they could soak in the sight of the beautiful valley. On Wednesday, Sam managed to catch sight of a pair of full-on jounins practicing and had floated for hours after still soaking in the awesomeness of having witnessed actual ninjutsu. On Thursday, they caught another play and Tori got to learn how to cook on a teppan. And through the whole week, they got to spend good chunks of the days relaxing in Kakashi's apartment, writing down their adventures and chatting, as they most loved to do. Their host was talkative and then silent in turns. His humor fit surprisingly well with theirs and he seemed most comfortable teasing them or exchanging stories.

It was kind of weird, to Tori. She wasn't particularly used to hanging out with men that were both hot and had an attractive personality. It didn't really help her with getting over the crush, but the close proximity demanded she at least somewhat deal with it. Her main method at this point was the continuing question of his availability. After all, if she knew of what OTP he was meant to be, it would be so, so much easier to convince her little heart to just be happy for his happiness and stop the nonsense whispers of "he laughed at your joke there, he must think you're pretty." Victoria's more pessimistic mind was, for once, surprisingly reluctant to remind her flibberty-gibbet heart that men who were hot beyond all reason, and had strong careers, and awesome personalities just didn't go for the fat girl who flubbed out of their own career path and was way too high-maintenance. ..But if she got any more blushy, it would have to.. Tori didn't really like it when her anxiety-sick mind beat up her heart, and she could sense it was on the horizon. She had made it to this age in life having never really had a boyfriend because Victoria dreaded the idea of someone discovering she had a crush on them. The rejection of her unchosen feelings, she was utterly certain, would be too hard to deal with - especially because she always felt so helpless and dumb for being caught up in such intense feelings for someone so clearly out of her league. (Because, inevitably, it was always someone out of her league.) Luckily, Victoria had the unfortunate timing that every time she developed a crush, that person soon ended up in a relationship. Even the celebrities. So she had developed her best method to get it over with: the I'll-ship-you-with-someone-else-because-I-hope-you're-happy-even-if-you're-not-mine method. So if she wanted to get over Kakashi, she just needed to do that now. Simple enough. She even happened to have access to the Naruto-World-Encyclopedia. Samantha would definitely know who Kakashi was meant to end up with and Victoria could begin to divorce her silly daydreams of cute romantic moments with Kakashi and her, and fill the same scenarios in with the right woman. Tori just had to secure a private moment to pick Sam's brain..

Finally, she had the chance that Friday afternoon. Their too-handsome warden had a meeting to attend and so had locked them in his apartment with a sealing jutsu. Tori, feeling restless, had decided to scrub down their borrowed bathroom while Sam sat just outside the door sketching out an anime-version of herself in her awesome new ninja outfit. "So..can you tell me more about Kakashi?" Tori asked lightly. "Like..I know he becomes the teacher-leader of Naruto's team, and he was in the Secret Service thing, but what else do we know? Is he related to anybody in the Boruto gen?" Her very sneaky way of trying to discreetly ask if he gets married sometime soon.

Sneaky Tori may try to be, but Sam was well aware of the hidden question within Tori's words. Samantha thought Kakashi was hot, and his personality was definitely endearing, however, the silver-haired jounin seemed far more into Tori than Sam, and with the knowledge that Tori thought he was ridiculously attractive, Sam knew when to back off. Even if she were perhaps slightly jealous her friend was getting a love story out of their adventure. Of course, Sam had had one before, so Tori deserved her time.

Pausing in her drawing - frowning that she couldn't quite get the arms right - Samantha held the pencil eraser to her chin as she thought. "Well, he's actually had quite a sad past. His own trials in life make it super sad that Sasuke couldn't see its worth in helping him overcome his own anger." Holding the pencil still against the paper, preparing to draw, Samantha pondered where to start, "So, Kakashi's mother died… some time we were never informed of... We only know that it's happened. His dad died by suicide when Kakashi was four due to the whole village hating on him because he put the worth of his comrades lives over the mission itself. Even his comrades thought he was in the wrong! Can you believe that?" Sam shook her head, going back to sketching while she talked.

"So, after his dad died, poor Kakashi had adopted the idea of the village. The mission is the most important. Actually!" Sam brought the pencil up in an 'aha' moment, "I'm pretty sure he had adopted that idea before his dad killed himself… which is super sad. Anyway…! He had been attending the academy - where he had been somewhat friends with Rin and Obito - but after his father's death, Kakashi graduated after that year was up. And because of the war, Kakashi would go off to war - I'm pretty sure because he was chuunin, he was able to have his own team and be the leader of said team… he was quite the strict leader if I remember correctly… but during that time of throwing himself into the shinobi life, the sneaky Third Hokage recognized Kakashi's need for love, acceptance, and direction and assigned Minato Namikaze - Naruto's dad, by the way - to watch over little Kakashi. So Kakashi ended up on his team where Obito and Rin were his teammates. Obito and Kakashi never got along. Obito was in love with Rin and valued her life above all else, and it wasn't until Obito's death that Kakashi changed.

"Though, right before Obito died, he gave Kakashi his one good eye - because Kakashi had lost his eye earlier that day, and since Obito was dying… yeah… so Kakashi got the sharingan eye, and after that mission, adopted Obito's values. It's kinda where he began to change. But after Rin and Minato died, Kakashi threw himself into the Anbu Black Ops until the Third Hokage, again, was like 'Kakashi needs to get out of the Anbu and really heal his heart. I'll give him a team!' and thus began his time as sensei to Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke! And then there is everything in the future too… like around the Pein arc… but yeah. That's the gist of Kakashi." Samantha smiled widely and waited for Victoria to respond.

Victoria was very used to Samantha's method of storytelling and how she would scatter extra details and spoilers amidst the main points. Lips quirked, Tori leaned against the edge of the bathroom counter and mused over the questions Sam's explanation had left crawling around her mind. "So..up til now, super tragic then. Orphaned young, his only friends died including his sensei..and, hang on, how old did you say he was when his dad died? Four? And then the next year he graduated?"

Samantha nodded. "Yeah, at just five! And was a chunin at six! He's a genius shinobi!"

"And he _went to war?_ " Flabbergasted at the idea, Tori's voice shrieked a little. "At six? Who the crap came up with that as a good idea? Was it the same jerk Hokage that let Naruto be raised on his own? Screw the timeline, I'm gonna kill myself some shinobis! That's insane!" But of course, she wouldn't. Tori was so pacifistic she struggled to even play the slug-bug game. She'd be more likely to try to take the My Little Pony approach to battle: help the enemy face up to their shortcomings and then make them your best friend. Kill with kindness. If the Hokage was in the room she would give him a good verbal dressing down and then forcibly help plan a whole series of lifestyle changes to improve his behavior. Starting with an orphaned shinobi outreach program.

"Eh, well… I mean… it is quite messed up. But I have no doubt there's behind the scenes with the Hokage's decision that we just don't know about. After all, I personally feel that Kishimoto failed at making Naruto stupid. That kid is far smarter than he seems. Lack of parents I think is a huge cause for this, actually. Anyway… yeah…" Samantha gave a short laugh, scratching her arm, "You'd be dead before you could even get close to the Hokage, sadly."

Tossing her cleaning rag in the sink, Victoria stomped over to take a seated position like Sam's. She ran a hand through her hair, upsetting the loose bun that had held it up out of the way while she cleaned. She sighed gustily, trying to force out some of the tangled up anger she felt. "I just..don't get how you're so okay with it. Well, accepting rather," she corrected. "It's awful enough just in a story, but this is their reality. They are real people. And they seem to think it's honorable and awesome to send kindergartners -Kindergartners! - on death missions. I mean, we have friends from high school with kids that age. Things shouldn't be this way. It's so wrong. It can't be like this. It can't." Tears of frustration and sorrow pricked at Victoria's eyes. "What's the name of the author?" She asked raspily.

"Masashi, Kishimoto," Samantha replied, her brow furrowed. She was a little disturbed by Tori's perception of her feelings, "And it's not like I'm okay with everything. It's just… hmm, how do I explain it…" Leaning against the bathtub wall, Samantha closed her eyes in thought before staring at the ground as she continued, "I suppose, in a sense, it still feels unimaginable. I watched all of Naruto, and then read the manga afterwards, and… as I'm sure you know, when you read something, you just accept that that's the way the world works. That's how it was created by the author, and all the events that happen, happen to induce the plotline of the story. Or for character building. Not to mention the fact that we can't change anything that's happened. I guess… I just accept that that's how it is because, that's what happened before. I mean… no one wanted it to really be that way, which is why as time passed all the way into Boruto's world, Naruto had changed the way of shinobi enough that there was no need for genin to arise from even a six year old." She shrugged in her thoughts, "It's how this world works. It's crappy, but that's how it happened. That's not to say I don't find it terribly tragic, though! But I feel like it'd have more of an impact on me if I had been present for the situation and not just a distant bystander. And by saying distant is in no means modest, either. After all… the Naruto universe, up until recently, had all been fiction."

Victoria reached over and gave Samantha's knee a soft squeeze. "I'm sorry. I don't blame you, Sam. Of course not. I just..sometimes it makes me so angry that people glorify violence so much. And I know that in a real world you would never ever think it was cool for kids to fight. I just can't stop imaging how horrible it must be. And..how horrible it must have been. For these people. These real people." She let her head fall back against the wall and it gave a dull thump. "I'm gonna pray for like two hours straight tonight for every single traumatized character I ever read or wrote about. On the off chance that somewhere all the fiction is real. And that Masashi Kishimoto Guy? He's gonna get the most prayers of all. Cuz he gotta shape up or he'll join Hitler and Satan on the Victoria Hate List."

Sam threw her head back and laughed, "Looking at the Naruto universe compared to other author's? If anything, you should be praying for Stephen King! Now that guy… he is truly messed up." She shuddered at the thought of the horrific evil clown. Sam couldn't even think the name because It creeped her out that much. "And what about all those other horror books? Or the _Hunger Games_. Or even _Ender's Game_?" Giggling once more, Samantha lightly poked Tori's arm, "There are some seriously disturbed people in the world, eh?"

If Victoria had to describe the sound from her lips, she would have labeled it a tragic laugh. "Like me?" She pointed out. "I did some pretty awful things to characters before…although rarely when they were younger than twelve. I guess I was a tiny bit decent as an author.."

Samantha laughed again, because Tori was actually an amazingly decent human being with super high morals, "I wouldn't say you're a disturbed person. I mean, it's natural to want to read about a character who had a hard childhood or past and to see them rise above those challenges. It's what gives us hope, right? I mean… for every storyline and the outcome of a plot, and for every feeling behind characters' morals is, to some degree, how we feel about the world ourselves. I mean… if a character believes that he or she can overcome hardship against all odds, no matter what, that's something that the author themselves feel. Though," here, Sam lowered her voice to almost a whisper, "I personally feel like, when it comes to the main characters of the story arc, those are the author's morals and points of view, not the idea's coming from the bad guy's point of view. Then again, if you're disturbed, than so am I. I've written some pretty awful things myself." She thought back to all those fanfictions she'd written. Her poor characters! _Oi vey._

"Well, I just hope whoever is writing our story here is super nice," Tori quipped. "Maybe Lauren Faust? We could use some peppy MLP-esque luck..". She crinkled her nose playfully. "So. Better tell me about the rest. I've braced my little heart to hear all the horrible things. Dish 'me out, SamSam."

"Eh?" Sam lifted an eyebrow, "Are you _sure_ you want to know?" She gave a nonchalant shrug to Tori's determined waiting, "Well, alright. Basically, Konoha gets attacked a few months from now - I'm not sure the proper timing for that, but it's during the Chunin exams - by Orochimaru and the sand village. This is where Naruto meets Gaara and changes that boy's perception of life, and also where Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Third Hokage, dies. Then, Naruto goes on a training trip for several years with Jiraiya, and when he comes back, he's more than ready to fight the Akatsuki. Oh! And Sasuke defects from the village soon after the attack on Konoha." Samantha twitched her feet, "About threeish or so years from now, Naruto learns sage mode, right when Pein attacks. So, naturally he defeats the guy, and all those whose lives were taken, are given back to them. Naruto's power of talking! Talk-no-jutsu as some people call it," she giggled.

"But anyway, Kakashi had died and been brought back to life, and this is where he is truly able to resolve his relationship with his father. I guess they chatted in the afterlife, or… limbo… wherever they were at.. And then soon after that, the Akatsuki declare war on the world, all the shinobi band together, Naruto learns to control Kurama's chakra, and during the war, they become friends and Naruto freely uses the nine-tails chakra from there on out. Afterwards, Tsunade hands the hat to Kakashi - because she was the fifth Hokage - and years later, after Naruto has had two kids with Hinata: Boruto and Himawari, Kakashi hands the hat to Naruto and Naruto becomes the seventh Hokage. Naturally, because of the war and all shinobi banding together, they've come to a time of peace where all the villages cooperate together." Samantha blew out a breath and smiled, "Then Boruto's story happened! Though, it's still quite a new series, so there's not much info to go on there, apart from Boruto finally overcoming his drama with Naruto. Dude… that was one friggin' awesome fight, by the way! You reeeeeeeally should watch it!"

Victoria chewed over the details. About halfway through the telling she had stolen Sam's notebook and on a fresh page wrote down the main points of the story that she needed to remember. "So is Kakashi around still in Boruto's time? Or is he some old moldy reference that's just a footnote?"

"Moldy reference?" Sam sputtered with a laugh, "Nah, Kakashi is very much alive. Just, not as Hokage."

"That's kinda nice. Good to have a character you know won't die that you can emotionally invest in. ..Does he have a kid?" Oh she was so casual..

Sam snorted. It was easy to see through Tori's casual question. "Not that I know of. The subject had never been touched on nor given any indication that he has a kid or that he even got married." Sam looked slyly at Tori, "Are you hoping to marry him?"

Victoria snorted derisively, but the effect was totally blown by the high blush on her cheeks. Man, she really needed to work on controlling that! "Noooooo," she drawled. "That's silly. He's a book character, first off, and way outta my league. Plus he's not a member of my faith. And there's the whole 'we aren't supposed to exist here' thing. Probably a deal-breaker I'm thinking, if you have to plan on suddenly disappearing in a haze of glowy lights. Though I'm willing to bend on the other three." She crinkled her nose pertly at Sam and handed back the drawing. She had redrawn the arms for her, but there was no way she was attempting the hands.

Sam thought on those reasons of Tori's, as her rebuttal about the first three were caught on her tongue by Tori's last remark. "What if… what if we never make it back? That's always a possibility. I've grabbed that marble a bazillion times since we got here, but nothing's happened. So… you might just get your chance to marry the Copy-Cat Ninja!" Sam's laugh fell a little flat as the reality that they may never go home again fell on her shoulders. If they never made it back home… what would they do? They'd have to actually find jobs so they could survive (or Sam would just mooch off of Tori if she married Kakashi). She laughed at her own thought, because the ridiculousness of not having her own income was, well, ridiculous. The question would then be, how would they support themselves in a world completely unlike their own.

"Because apparently Kakashi is _not_ just a book character." Sam spread her arms around the bathroom in explanation of its own reality.

"Alright, I'll give you that one," Victoria groused with her usual dramatic humor. "But..we can't deny how ridiculously fine that man is. So point two and four still holds us firmly in the 'no point in thinking about it' camp." Victoria nodded firmly as though the downward jerk of her chin would be a hammer nailing down the reality of that into her brain and heart. "No more flirting allowed." Slipping back to her feet she began to clean up the mess of abandoned cleaning supplies. "Although, you've done remarkably well at that." The wiggling thought Victoria had pushed aside for the last week guiltily rose up and pressed at her lips until she had to say it. "You're a pretty good flirter unless you like the guy.." Victoria rubbed the back of her hand against her nose, unconsciously hiding her face from Sam's. "Which I don't know how I didn't notice 'til now." _Reason number five. The only man worth losing Sam's friendship for would be Jesus._

"Ahem, correction. I can't flirt with guys that I think are ridiculously hot. It's a problem, really…" Sam pouted, before smiling again, "No flirting allowed? I don't know if that's even possible to abide by. Besides, if you wanna flirt, I say, go for it! The guy is hot, for goodness sakes." Sam stuck her tongue out cheekily at Tori. Man, she really did that a lot. Speaking of the man, "I wonder what's taking Kakashi so long. I wonder if he'd know if we snooped around his place." Now, Samantha didn't plan to snoop, she just sometimes spoke her random thoughts aloud, however brief or unrealistic the thought could be.

Feeling a little reassured by Sam's tone - it would seem that Sam, while finding Kakashi attractive, must not be head-over-tail twitterpated like Victoria feared she was - Tori tucked away the guilty feeling but kept the resolve to be less invested. It really could only end badly, anyway. But at least it'd only be her own heart hurt by the inevitable rejection. (It really never occurred to her that Kakashi would be anything other than embarrassed or slightly flattered by her making moon-eyes at him.) "It's probably about his team assignments," Victoria offered, "And maybe what to do with us. My guess is we are about to be relocated." Hence her need to clean up their half of the little apartment. "It probably is your last chance to snoop if you want, but it's not like you'll find anything especially useful. Any evidence of terrible secrets are probably written down and you don't have your English:Japanese dictionary." And he kept his dirty books out where anyone could see them. She doubted there was anything else hiding in his room other than evidence that he wasn't, in fact, made of shinobi blue fabric but rather had human skin underneath it.

Samantha shrugged a second time, "Yeah, that's true. I don't know a lot of Japanese, but I just wanna walk around to see if he's got any secret alcoves. I mean… how cool would that be?" She rubbed her hands together, as if rolling some playdoh. "In any case, I doubt he's learning which team he has. That didn't happen 'till the day after graduation. We'd know it was after graduation because the night before there's a tiny scare - when Naruto accidentally steals the Forbidden Scroll." Standing up, Samantha stretched before looking at Tori once again. "Anyway, what shall we do until his royal hotness comes back?"

Victoria thought about that for a minute. "I'm kinda hungry," she confessed. "Let's go make some lunch." And with a plan now made, they skipped forward to do so. The conversation lingered in both their minds though and poor Tori found her newly claimed resolve horribly tested by the unfathomable look Kakashi leveled at her when she greeted his return with a cherry hello and a piping hot grilled cheese. Her heart was still pounding in an uneven, triplet pattern when the shinobi herded the two of them out the door and across the now-familiar city.

"You'll like this, Samantha-Chan," Kakashi declared easily, walking at her side as Victoria lagged behind. "I have a surprise for you."

Samantha perked up, her heart beating a little faster, and not necessarily because of her excitement. Sam could appreciate a hot man when she saw one. "A surprise?" She asked, "Do I get to know what it is right now?" She couldn't help but be her cheeky self and smile while lifting her eyebrows. Sam loved surprises, despite the pressure she always put on the giver to reveal what it was. That was half the fun.

Kakashi held a hand to his heart with a touch of exaggerated drama. "You think I, a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf village, would betray such a valuable secret?"

"Uh… yes?" Sam's smile betrayed her teasing, "'Cause I'm sure you must know how well I keep secrets." She smiled and winked at the jounin, bumping her elbow against his.

He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You are a very shrewd secret-keeper. It is likely you could be trusted," he agreed. "But information like I have is very valuable.." His silver eye twinkled as he challenged her: "What do you have to trade, Samantha-Chan?"

"To trade?" Samantha blinked, thinking thoughtfully, "Well, I'm sure I know a card game that you don't know. That's very valuable knowledge, ya know." She said matter of fact, biting her smiling lips.

"You wouldn't offer me a secret?" He asked just a little too-innocently.

"Ah, well, you should never ask a lady to reveal her secrets." Sam said, cheekily. "Besides, what kind of secret would interest a ninja? Serious secrets? Revealing secrets? Cheeky secrets? There's just too many!"

"The same kind that interests a friend," Kakashi said easily, his gaze watching the crowd of the market passing in front of them. "Although I'm intrigued by the prospect of cheeky secrets. Especially if they are revealing..". This time, his elbow crossed the gap to bump hers.

"You really want to know?" Samantha questioned slyly, "do you _really_ want to know?" Samantha couldn't help herself walking closer to the guy. It was nice to be flirted with once in a while. Especially by someone as hot as him. It was surprisingly easy to do so with Kakashi as well, considering Sam could never consciously flirt with anyone. _Just this once_ Sam thought, _consciously flirt just this once. Tori has the potential to like him far more than me._

They rounded the corner of market and began the path to the woods and training grounds. "Yes. And tell me what I want. What I really, really want..to know about you, the mysterious Samantha Winters." There was a different kind of challenge in his words now. It wasn't just playfulness and the omni-present flirtatiousness of Kakashi in his voice now. It was like he knew something and he was daring her to confess to him that she knew the same secret he did.

Briefly noting the direction they were headed, Samantha looked over at Kakashi, giving him a calculating stare. The implication in his tone left more questions than it answered. It took a moment to realize that her mouth had hung open a little, and Sam abruptly closed it, looking ahead while she thought of a response. Unsure of what Kakashi was asking, even if her mind immediately went to the dimension-travelling that she and Tori had gone through, Samantha remembered a piece of her that she decided Kakashi could know. Getting closer to the jounin, Samantha threw her voice into a conspiratorial whisper, "Often times, when I'm sitting down and someone passes in front of me, I purposely trip them because I find it hilarious." She'd tried to keep a straight face through the whole thing, but ended up grinning by the end, unable to help the giggle that came afterwards.

His eye narrowed at her for a moment but then the skin about it crinkled and it was obvious that a smile lurked beneath Kakashi's iconic blue mask. "You are a dangerous woman, Samantha-Chan," he teased. "I shall have to watch my feet around you."

"Yeah you will!" Samantha bolstered with a laugh, "And yet, I'm very much like a ninja! You'll never see it coming." She bumped shoulders with Kakashi again, "So. Since I gave away such a precious secret, what's yours?" After all, Samantha did not forget the original reason the silver haired Kakashi had initially stepped her way.

"I've arranged a practice bout," he declared, his hands grasping behind his back in an easy parade-rest sort of way as they walked. "You will get to see Might Guy get his..posterior bruised." He gave a shooting glance over one shoulder at their lagging companion as though to explain the rather tame language.

Sam nearly stopped short. "We get to see Might Guy fight? And who is his sparring partner?" Samantha eyed the masked man, her suspicions and electric excitement buzzing within her, "Is it gonna be you?"

"Well it would be rather embarrassing if my rival was defeated by anyone else."

They crossed the wide gate that stood open: marking the boundaries of the practice grounds. A small crowd had already gathered: word sped fast aiming professional spies. Kakashi halted and let Samantha soak it in.

"What's going on?" Victoria asked, finally catching up on Sam's other side.

"We're gonna watch Kakashi and Might Guy spar!" Samantha kept her eyes on the training ground before looking at Tori. "This is gonna be so cool!" Sam tapped Tori's arm several times in her excitement. As they began to walk forward, Sam asked Kakashi, "Is there somewhere we should be standing?" Her fingers twitched, and Sam couldn't help the slight bounce in her step. Farther off in the crowd, they could see Might Guy doing stretches with his team nearby, Rock Lee pumping his fists with what they could assume was encouragement and Tenten and Neji shaking their heads, Tenten holding a hand to her face. _Might Guy must really be as bad as he was in the manga._ Sam watched the team before gazing at the rest of the crowd, waiting for Kakashi's response.

He gave an elegant shrug. "Just so you get a good view. Maybe not on any high spots. Might Guy doesn't always look." There was always an element of danger in watching the bouts, after all. It was frowned on, of course, to throw logs and other debris at bystanders, but accidents had happened before. Reaching up, he casually ruffled his own hair and corrected the lay of his forehead protector. "You'll be my cheerleaders?"

"Cheerleaders?" Sam perked up, "Well, I can't say we'll have a unified routine, but we'll definitely be cheering you on! Right Tori?" She turned towards Victoria, rolling on her heels, feeling slightly antsy. It was going to be epic to see the two jounin fight: and Sam was willing to bet on Kakashi, absolutely. He had far more winnings than losses according to Might Guy.

"Totes ma goats!" Victoria quipped, smiling widely. "Knock 'em dead, Kakashi-San! Well..not really dead, right?"

"Right," he assured easily. Flipping out a shuriken, he gave it a fancy little toss and then caught it with a head tilt and a grin. "This'll be fun." He sauntered off to the center of the field where he gave Might Guy a cheery wave.

Grabbing Sam's arm, Victoria pulled her eagerly over towards the rest of the crowd so that they could join in the lines of spectators that had started to ring the fields. Victoria found them a space next to two boys - probably ones from Naruto's class. They did look vaguely familiar. One had a puffy light brown afro and the other a permanent scowl, like he looked at life as all one big drag. She noticed both boys proudly wore very clean and shiny forehead protectors. And now that she noticed, it looked like there were several preteens paired off as though with their parents, all of them sporting the new headbands. _It must be graduation day_ , she mused. _I wonder if Kakashi timed things just to get a big crowd. I know he's cheeky, but is he a bit of a show-off too?_ Suddenly a cheer went up through the crowd as the spectators all scooted into a large, loose circle around the two ninjas. The two muscular men waved to the crowd before seriously settling into matching stances. Tori grinned nervously at Sam. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" she asked lightly.

"Are you kidding?" Sam said, eyes riveted, "I look up karate tournaments just to watch people fight. It's so cool!" She waited with baited breath as the two jounin made the seal of confrontation. It felt like forever passed in the span of two seconds before Might Guy made a jump for Kakashi, right leg already spinning for the round kick. Kakashi ducked, punching his opponent in the gut, sending Might Guy flying backwards. In another second, Kakashi disappeared before reappearing in front of Might Guy, who had blocked the oncoming left hook, whipping out a kunai which Kakashi blocked, knocking the two jounin apart. They stood still, silent, watching each other, deciphering the best course of action before the two disappeared once again and the clang of kunai could be heard. They appeared and disappeared almost too quick for the naked eye to observe. All Samantha could do was watch in awe, feeling an itch in her bloodstream, her heart pounding with desire to be a part of the action. It's what she felt every time she watched karate tournaments online. It was the thrill of actually knowing correct movements to defend herself in case of being attacked. Every time she practiced her kenpo, her heart raced with that zing of excitement that she was doing something more with her life than wasting it away at work. It gave her a purpose to continue existing in a world where she wasn't really needed. It was at times like this, especially this moment, that Samantha regretted having taken a break with her training. Procrastination was that dreaded nightmare that haunted her every action and with it, embarrassment: for the failure of not completing what she knew without a doubt she could have done. Procrastination and loss of desire. They were the bane of her existence. Perhaps that's what they called depression, but Sam had never been diagnosed.

So, Sam watched, engrossed in the fight.

To their left, a loud _crash_ could be heard, a massive puff of smoke instantly appearing. Kakashi soon popped out of the muggy air, landing on his feet and hand that was free of kunai. The crowd cheered for Kakashi before going silent as wind cleared the smoke away and Might Guy stood in the midst of a decent sized crater, huffing. He then smiled, somehow a slight gleam shining off his teeth as he spoke to his rival. "Heh, as expected of one worthy to be my rival!"

Kakashi didn't move a single muscle, every line of his slim figure alert and attuned to the battle. "Those sound like words of defeat, my friend," he declared lightly. "Are you tired so soon, old man?" He gave Might Guy a cheeky grin.

Might Guy's fists clenched tightly, and Sam could picture his internal "My rival is so cool!" speech that was sometimes noted in the manga and anime. "If you think that's all I've got, you have another thing coming!" Smashing his hands together, Might Guy once again smiled, lifting his eyes to gleam at Kakashi. Then, almost impossibly, Might Guy was gone from his spot and smashing a blocked fist at Kakashi like the speed of light. Or rather, like a jet, flying six-hundred miles an hour. Kakashi countered, sending a kick to the ribs which Might Guy defended with a palm, kunai forgotten from both jounin. Their hand to hand combat fighting commenced, seemingly even matched. It was easier to spot from the spectator's perspective, as the two men stayed in relatively the same spot, blocking blow for blow. Then, as Kakashi ducked from another round kick, he slammed an uppercut on the edge of MIght Guy's jaw, sending him flying backwards, slamming into a tree on the other side, nearly diagonal from where Samantha and Victoria were standing.

It was another second before a man stepped forward from the crowd, a cigarette in the corner of his mouth, Konoha headband proudly resting on his forehead. If that hadn't been a dead giveaway of who the man was, than the beard that ran from ear to ear - not including a goatee - did. Asuma Sarutobi, son of Hiruzen Sarutobi - the Third Hokage, stepped next to Kakashi. "I declare this match officially over," He announced to the crowd as a beat up Might Guy came forward and the two rivals gave the sign of reconciliation.

"Great spar, Kakashi. I'd imagined no less from my great rival."

"Always a pleasure," Kakashi responded, clapping a hand firmly against Might Guy's shoulder in the universal sign of male camaraderie. "We should send you flying into trees more often."

Victoria nudged the paralyzed-with-Joy Sam. "And you call me a cheeky monkey.." she quipped, "Kakashi-San has to the cheekiest thing you've ever seen."

Samantha stiffly walked next to Victoria, replaying the amazing fight in her head, "You've got that right. Kakashi is definitely cheeky."

Tori laughed brightly. "That was..actually pretty fun to watch," she admitted. "There was way more athleticism to it than I thought. I kinda imagined it was gonna all be chakra-ball throwing." Their warden was being congratulated by all the other spectators, so after a moment, the two women found a tree to flop under.

It was Samantha's turn to smile cheekily as she nudged Tori, "See. Fighting is amazing!"

"Yes," she agreed, "When its two super in-control adults that aren't trying to actually kill each other. Then, yes, totally, totally cool." Victoria wrinkled her nose and then with a sigh, flopped backwards on the grass. "Man, I sound like a big, old, stick-in-the-mud." Resting her hand on the soft curve of her tummy, Victoria gazed thoughtfully up at the flashing green leaves above them. "I should do better at the not-worrying and just-enjoying thing..."

Samantha, following suit, gave a breathy laugh at Tori's statement. "You just have lots of feels. Of course you're gonna be a big ol' stick in the mud," Sam waved her hand in the air as she spoke, as if to twirl the leaves, "There has to be someone like you, because you've got someone like me who simply finds it exciting. It's harder for me to take things in. That's why you're good to have around." She winked at Tori.

"Awwwh! Way to be adorably nice!" Victoria declared with only a little extra drama. "I feel instantly inspired and comforted. It's like I found my Gandalf."

"What! Your Gandalf?" Sam replied with mock offense, "Do I look old and grey to you?"

"Well you do have blue hair, Chica," Victoria couldn't help teasing. "But no, you're being all inspiring and nice to me and stuff even though I'm being whiny about our adven - WAIT." Victoria bolted up and swiveled to point accusingly at Samantha. "You made me a main character!" she accused, obviously clearly and deeply offended by the idea. "Not fair! I'm the guide character. I'm always the guide character, we agreed to this! Why are you trying to be the guide character?"

"Guide Character!" Samantha shot up, leaning one hand against the grass as she spoke her incredulous surprise, "I don't wanna be the guide character! How am _I_ the guide character? There's no possible way!" She pouted once more and muttered the unfathomable thought, "I don't wanna be the guide character."

"I know you don't,"' Victoria said. "But..but you are." She gestured around helplessly. "Who's been losing their head this whole time? Me. Who's been calm and chill the whole time? You. Who's doing something they avoid at all possible costs, aka, talking to hot guys? Well, mostly me." Samantha snorted, "You have been too. Maybe we can fix this." The younger woman stroked her chin thoughtfully. "If I were the narrator of this story, how would I make you the main character? I think you need to be kidnapped, Sam. That's the only way you get to be the main character now."

Samantha laughed outright at that, "Kidnapped? That's a bit much… yeah, that'd really suck. Hah! But hmmm… to be a main character… hardship is a must. I feel like we're already going through that… I may be calm, but that's just 'cause I deal with crazy stuff that way…" Sam scratched her temple, thoughtfully pondering what she could do. She watched as the ninja paraded around Kakashi, before an idea began to spark, "What if," Sam began, "I continued my karate training here? Do you think I could get a sensei?" Her eyes sparkled as she turned to Tori. "That's gotta be the way to not be a guide character! Right?"

Victoria thought for a second and then smiled wider. "Yeah. Yeah, it totally would!" She gave a little victory dance. "Totally! You be a ninja, then I can just be your adorable animal sidekick. That will so work." She playfully stuck her hands up, making little rabbit ears. "Do you think I could pass as a bunny?"

"You wanna be an animal?" Sam giggled, her brow raised, "Well, I definitely think you could pass as a bunny. Such sweet animals!"

Tori giggled at the ridiculousness of their conversation. "Better not try it then. Everyone will see right through me!" She shook her head and laughed again. "Okay, deal. You're our main character now. I gift you the title, and gladly! But..seriously, would you really take up the ninja stuff? Like..it's kinda dangerous right?"

Samantha tilted her head towards the sky, the bright green of the leaves obscuring her view just a little, "You know… I probably would. Knowing self-defense, first of all, friggin' rocks. Second of all, if I could mold chakra along with that?... Dude… would that even be possible for someone not from this world? But how cool would that be!" Sammy smiled at the thought. "You really think _this_ would make me the main character?"

Victoria laughed. "Well, since this is our real lives, Sammy-Sam-Sam, I think just determining you want to be a main character is what would make you a main character." She resumed her earlier position of laying back and gazing up at the dancing leaves. "And I think you should take back up your kenpo or, ya know, whatever the equivalent is here. Because you are so good at it and it makes you happy but you've put it off since you moved from your old place. We've got nothing else going on. Get back on it!"

"That's a good point… I have been lazy about it, which has made me sad. Kenpo is amazing, ya know!" Her smile was slightly sad when she thought back on that part of her life. There was no reason why she quit apart from procrastination on learning the moves and being embarrassed because she procrastinated. So, Tori was right. Sam needed to get back into her training! "I think I definitely could get back into it. If I could find a sensei. The only person that comes to mind is Hinata. I feel like the Hyuga fighting style is the most similar to kenpo. Except… kenpo has kicks and other self defense moves…" Feeling antsy, Samantha stood up and jiggled her legs, "I've never sparred with an actual partner, either. I would be even worse than a genin!" She laughed at her little joke.

"I could practice some old man tai-chi right next to you," Victoria quipped. "That'd make ya look way cooler by comparison. Cuz you are cool! just.. normal world cool. Not quite ninja cool." She waved a hand at the crowd still scattered around the field. "And we could always just get one of those shiny little kids to fight you. I bet Rock Lee would totally help you train! Kid lives for training."

Samantha thought on that, looking towards the dispersing crowd where Might Guy and his team still stood, though by this point, Kakashi didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. "Rock Lee would probably be quite eager. Though… I don't know if I could do his work ethic," She smiled, "Tenten could be awesome to work with, or Neji… well… probably not as he is now." Holding her hands behind her back, Samantha looked down at Tori, "I'll have to think on it!"

"Don't just think on it: do it!" Tori challenged just like a good guide character would. "We've spent this whole week just having fun. We need to move forward and the journey has to start somewhere. Let it be your Call to Adventure!" (Wouldn't her old lit theory professor be proud of her Joseph Campbell reference?) "Come on, noble protagonist! Go ask Might Guy to hook you up!"

"I just might do that," Sam smiled, "And you know, we really _should_ figure out why we're here. I mean… I highly doubt we're here for no reason." She held a hand to her hip, fingers thrumming, "In any case, I might as well go talk to them." With a shrug, Sam started walking towards Team Guy, feeling more determined than she had in awhile.

Victoria watched Samantha's progress across the field. It was way too far to hear, of course, but the body language was more than words enough. Sam was congratulating Might Guy on his fight. He clearly accepted the praise but then waxed poetic about the mightiness of his rival. The dramatic look over one shoulder plainly declared his inner thoughts for anyone watching to see. Tori laughed under her breath as Sam clearly gave up trying to talk to Might Guy and turned back to Rock Lee and TenTen. Tori grinned proudly as she saw Sam shoulders straighten boldly as she put forth her request. Rock Lee's entire skinny body leaped up with the energy of his positive fist pump. TenTen seemed to caution him, but her agreeing nod seemed to seal the promise that Samantha would get at least some of the young genins' time to learn the ways of the ninja.

Of course, their conversation seemed to attract the attention of the fourth member of Team Guy. The old sourpuss of a kid seemed to say something rude and derisive to Samantha. Victoria's eyes narrowed. Thirteen year old boys were literally the worst in some ways. But Sam-Sam seemed to hold her own. Her hands made fists on her hips and she leaned forward slightly: her arguing back pose. Neji folded his arms defensively. Rock Lee notably shifted his position: standing proudly and strongly next to Samantha. "Go Rocky-Boy," Tori murmured to herself. "Dang, I like that kid. Ooh!" Sam was pointing. Bad sign, that meant she was really passionate about whatever she was saying. Tori wished she was close enough to hear just what awesome rant Samantha was unleashing. Neji's scowl deepened and he stuck his nose up into the air in a stupidly-condescending way that made Victoria roll her eyes at him even from as far away as she was. She took a little vindictive comfort in the thought that as unhappy with the world as Neji professed to be, he likely was, in all actuality, that miserable. That didn't, however, meant it was cool for him to take it out on Sam!

Whatever Sam said worked - or at least the agreement of both Rock Lee and TenTen meant Neji knew he was outnumbered. He tossed his head and stomped away. Sam and Rock Lee exchanged victorious high-fives, and across the distance Tori and TenTen both laughed at the sight.

In that moment, Victoria's heart was warm and light: somehow she had the feeling that this was important. Maybe the reason Heaven had let them travel here was for exactly this: an undeniable, inexplicable chance for Samantha to work on her awesome but oft-neglected goals. Tori mentally committed herself in that moment to be the bestest, most-positive cheerleader she possibly could for her friend. Sam needed victory in her life. And Victoria was gonna make sure she got it! Even if it meant she had to drag herself down to the training grounds and limp through the exercises with her. They were gonna do it!

It was an interesting start, to say the least. Samantha had the privilege of showing off the small karate skills she'd already learned, and Rock Lee grew ecstatic at the sight. Of course, Sam laughed, cheeks pink with embarrassment, when she stated she'd never actually had the chance to _spar_ before. This only spurred Rock Lee on, however, and he even got Tenten involved in their training session. Might Guy had abandoned the area, saying he had other business to attend to, so it was fine for his youthful students to help a young lady in need (Samantha was actually fairly certain that she and Victoria were older then him). Despite the haughty words of Neji Hyūga, Sam laughed elated at the moves she was learning from her new-found teacher. Particularly surprising since she had never placed Rock Lee in a high ranking spot of favorite characters in the Naruto universe. Tenten had been even less on the poll due to her lack of character arcs or progression. That they could see. Tenten was actually quite impressive. She'd had a mastery of weapons that Samantha couldn't believe for a girl so young. Tenten was what, thirteen? Fourteen? At that age, Samantha was too engrossed in the enigma that was the internet, having little thought but for the wonderment that it held. So now, after more than a year of missing out on her kenpo lessons, it felt good to be back at it. Though, a part of Sam, the more pessimistic side of her, worried about how long this elation would last. For reasons unknown to herself, Samantha had the honeymoon affect - or rather, that's how she imagined it to be like. It was always so exciting in the beginning, but that excitement and motivation fizzled out like the carbonation from a soda, and she no longer had any desire to continue. Not because she didn't have a passion for it, but, it was hard to see past the rose colored glasses. She waved to Victoria, smiling widely. If there was one thing that Samantha knew, it was that she could count on her best friend. Tori had a way of helping her see past the roses, and see the truth of the matter and what it could bring to her life for more than a few seconds of dilly-dallying. Tori was the kind of friend that seemed to know just what you needed, when you needed it. Tori was the kind of person that deserved her loyalty. Samantha failed, sometimes, to be the kind of friend Victoria deserved (Sam could be too passionate about her, well, passions, and Tori never complained when Samantha indulged herself to things such as playing anime music all day long, or shuffling off on an adventure in the middle of the night. Tori really was amazing). So, the least that Samantha did and could do was look out and support her best friend.

In any case, by the time they were done with their training session, Samantha plopped down next to Victoria, huffing and gasping, lips gulping down the water that Tenten had conveniently pulled from a containment seal. "That… was _awesome._ " Sam sighed happily, head lying comfortably on the grass, resting her tired body.

"You did amazing, best friend," Victoria said, daintily patting Sam on the head. "I cheered for you very much. Thank you for not accidentally dying when Rock Lee kicked too close to your head."

"I'm pretty sure that's _only_ because he saw I was too slow for him. That kid is _fast!_ Holy fudge-monkeys!" Samantha thought back on the session. The anime did not do that kid any justice for his quick moves. How Gaara was able to even keep up with that kid, and _defeat_ him, was beyond Sam. His jinchuuriki status notwithstanding. "So… now what?"

"Now, we make you the main character, my dear. So! What's the plan for training tomorrow?"

Relaxing under their tree, Sam and Tori continued to discuss Sam's new training plan and mutually wondered if they would ever spy Kakashi again, when he had suddenly appeared between one breath and the next. The mercurial ninja held up a picnic basket as though that was the entire explanation to justify his unexpected absence and then they had followed him for a similarly unexpected hike - he barely registered any of Samantha's complaining about her sore body from the day's training, as she would never have given it a go _that day_ if they had been informed of their hike previously. When he didn't comment at all, Tori also tried to start up conversation a few times, but after Kakashi's lack of responses, Sam and Tori exchanged a look and fell silent. As they walked, the sun slipped the last of the way behind the western mountains.

The forest was surprisingly awake in the dusky darkness as the last of twilight faded to true night. As they had gotten further and further away from the lights of Konoha, their eyes had adjusted well to the brightening moonlight and the emerging stars far above the leafy canopy. Birds cried their groodnights and the far-from-sleepy squirrels chattered eagerly as they darted along branches. Cicadas hummed noisily. Amid the wild melody, it seemed an almost magical peace had descended with the nightfall.

"It's like a symphony," Victoria whispered to Samantha. "I don't think I ever saw a forest as a alive as this. It's amazing."

"It's the best part of traveling," Kakashi offered from a few paces ahead, his silver hair bouncing in the half-light. "Getting away from the city. The noise. Well," he corrected, "The human noise."

Samantha hummed her agreement, viewing the sky with great intent. "This is… this is just _breathtaking_." Samantha exclaimed softly, "The last time I saw a view like this, I was camping with Ivy and her family up in the mountains of Logan one summer. Even then, it isn't comparative to this. I can't believe how many stars there are! It's like… it's like looking into space itself. This is just _amazing!_ " Samantha couldn't help but twirl to see more of the night sky.

"There's a clearing up ahead," Kakashi informed. "We'll stop there."

Tori smiled a little, not only for the promise of the stop (her feet were hurting, after all) but also because it seemed that whatever had been upsetting their self-imposed warden seemed to have finally cleared his mind. "It really is beautiful," Victoria agreed, craning her head back like Sam to take in the wild starlight above in the breaks between the lofty pines that shadowed over their pathway like ancient sentries.

Then the trees fell away and a large field of long grass rolled out before them, dipping and cresting over a pair of small hills. Without discussion being needed, the group trouped to the closer of these hills, each finding a place to sit on the soft grasses. The basket was set down and after a moment all three reclined fully back to soak in the full horizon of stars slowly appearing above them. A whole river of small stars cut across the sky from the north to the south east corner. It looked achingly familiar and Tori wondered if maybe it was the same Milky Way as home and somewhere among those bright points of light was their own sun shining on their families back home. Her breath caught a little at the thought. It had been almost a whole week now. She couldn't even imagine what her mother must be thinking. She blinked back the tears and tried to instead just focus on the beauty of the wild night sky. "It's so deep," she said softly. "I feel like I could just fall into it and never reach the bottom."

"Right?" Sam agreed, "What amazes me is that no matter which part of the sky we see, there's billions upon billions of galaxies. Who knows if there's an earth in each of them that holds people just like us there. I wouldn't doubt it." Samantha sighed, happily, "This is why I love the night. It's so… incredible." Like Victoria, Sam thought of her family, and wondered what they were up to at that moment. If they were worried about her. She missed them absolutely, but somehow, she knew that they'd see them again. It was like… when you know that the decision you made for your life is what you needed to do. Something about this situation they were in felt… needed. There was a purpose and God would watch over them while they did their part. Whatever may come. Sam reached over and grabbed a sandwich out of the picnic basket that Kakashi had brought. "So… what made you decide to take us out on an outing during the night? You're not going to, like, kill us and bury our bodies after giving us one last delicious meal, are you?" Though she tried to be serious, Samantha couldn't hold back the tiny smile off her lips.

"That's exactly it," Kakashi drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I knew it," Victoria said from Sam's other side. "It was only a matter of time. Pass me a sandwich, Sam-Sam. Might as well enjoy our last moments."

Samantha snorted, handing Victoria another sandwich. "Well, if I'm going to die right now, then you must at least give me one last muse." She wiped her hands on her jeans, stood up, situated her hat on her head (Kakashi indulged in her desire to wear the hat, even if it wasn't particularly kosher in this village) stood with her back to the two, brought her hands to her lips, and shouted at the top of her lungs.

Victoria wasn't quite as surprised as she should have been by Sam's sudden shout, but she giggled at the way Kakashi bolted up, clearly not anticipating that reaction at all. "Girl, you're crazy!" she shouted mid-laugh to Sam. "And you're scaring Kakashi-San!"

He glared at both of them. "Not scared," he defended, once Sam stopped her shout. "Jounin don't get scared by things like that."

"Uh-huh," Samantha giggled as she plopped on the ground next to Tori, "You know that that's what they all say when they don't want the truth to be known, right?" Her tone gave the "I know you know I'm right" before she leaned against her hands "Man, that was satisfying!"

"You two do not understand the protocol of star-gazing," Kakashi lightly scolded. "You are supposed to lie down, look at the stars, and if you do talk it's to share stories or sing. It is not a time for guttural raging against the universe." The women's giggling interrupted his scolding and he gave a gusty sigh of defeat.

"Sorry, Kakashi-San," Victoria said between giggles. "We'll be better, I swear."

"I promise nothing," Samantha chimed in cheekily.

He gave them both a narrow-eyed glare. "It'd be easier to handle genin than you two."

"We'll see if you still feel the same way next week," Victoria quipped.

"Besides, have you never just gave a large, guttural shout to the world? Or intentionally broken glass? Thrown something? C'mon, it's not that crazy, ya know." Sam asked, genuinely curious.

He shifted his weight to tuck his arms behind his head and gazed up at the sky. "If I need to break something, I usually just find an enemy's arm," he pointed out drolly as Samantha blew out a breathy 'well'. "But I know what you mean, Samantha-Chan."

Victoria tilted her head to gaze sideways at the sky, still drinking in the starlight. "Sam always has a lot of energy in new places," she observed gently. "She's an adventurous soul at heart."

"You bet I am. It's so exciting!" Samantha stretched, sitting with her legs straight, arms behind her on the grass. "I've been on adventures before and each time… there's just something about travelling. Getting to see the world. Ya know?" And being here, at this point, Samantha felt antsy. She wasn't sure why, but her heart pounded slightly, feeling restless. It wasn't something she was unused to. She found that she frequently felt restless, unable to sit still. Yelling was a way to release pent up energy. As was breaking glass. The satisfying crunch as it hit the ground in billions of pieces. Yup. She'd definitely done something like that before. "You never know what adventure's will happen because you took that step. It's so exhilarating!"

"You've probably had lots of adventures, Kakashi-San," Victoria murmured, subconsciously willing Samantha to settle a little. Tori was still worried by the strange way Kakashi had been behaving ever since his bout that afternoon. She could tell something had upset the quiet ninja, but she really wasn't sure what or why he had dragged them both so far away from everything. "You said you like to share stories when you star-gaze. Do you want to tell us one of yours?" _That's something Sam would love, right? Especially if it's outside of the canon._

Samantha kept her eyes up at the stars, keenly listening to anything that Kakashi may say. The great thing about stories was the fact that you could get to know character's and know what happens on each side of the event. Whether they be the main character or the antagonist. The hard part about stories was that you miss the day to day goings on, and can't know what they have gone through or felt every day. The stories they have heard, or the experiences they've been through. The reader can only know what the writer wants them to know. For this cause, Samantha was honestly curious to Kakashi's response. What sorts of stories did he have that they were unaware of? She kept a keen ear on his response, though chose not to say anything.

"A story for a story," he bartered. "Or a story for a song. One or the other from each of you," he challenged. After their quiet agreement to the terms he thought for a long moment. "One time. Long ago, when I was a very young jounin, my squad was assigned a transport mission. At that time, the Leaf Village was still at war with the Village Hidden in the Rain, so nearly every mission was considered B rank or higher. I was full of fire then. A genin in temperment, if not rank. So my squad leader picked this mission, I believe, just to teach me a lesson." His silver eye reflected the stars above, but there were dark shadows within: memories of companions lost and friends' deaths. "It was a very long mission, too long of a story for one night's telling, but there was one part that I'll never quite forget. Part of our mission was to protect these two old ladies who had to travel with the transport. They were terrible. The worst part of the mission. And slow. So slow. Well, we got to the third day of travel with them, and I was ready to kill them. Quite literally, it seemed the mission would be better served by their dead arrival to the destination than to be so slowed down by their walking pace."

"You really would have killed a pair of little, old ladies?" Victoria interrupted, grave concern and some shock in her voice.

"I was not a very nice child," Kakashi said just as gravely. "But Minato-Sensei had the patience I did not. He said no, and I endured. Well on the morning of the fourth day, one of the grannies, she hurt herself. So now, not only did we have to travel at a snail's pace, but at a broken snail's pace."

Samantha was sure that the story wasn't meant to be funny, but Kakashi's description of the entire event was hilarious. She couldn't help but snort. "You were quite the dramatic child, weren't you?"

"Yes," he agreed easily. "But it was a time of war and every minute waiting for Granny Two to limp over the mountains was another minute vulnerable to enemy attack. So finally, I had had enough. I declared that there was no way we were going to wait for her to limp up the hills. Either she allow one of us to carry her or we were leaving her behind."

"I bet she didn't like that," Tori offered. "Even grannies have their pride."

"Even grannies have their pride," Kakashi agreed. "As she was quick to inform me. She gave me quite the telling-off. Even my ears were blistered. And Granny One, too. She was also ready to defend her friend. 'The real heroes are the ones that never give up, no matter how hard it gets!' she said, 'No matter how much they have to endure or how much harder they have to work than anybody else. They don't give up and they don't give in.'"

Sam's eyes sparkled at the story of the two grannies. They were pretty smart to box the boy's ears. It sure sounded like he deserved it. The phrase that Kakashi just stated rang some familiar bells, itching her memory, but being so engrossed in the story, Samantha quickly tossed the vague thought aside. "They sound smart." She stated her earlier thought, "Sounds like you needed a time out or something."

"Sam!" Tori scolded.

"What?" Sam asked, innocently.

"Eh, she's probably right.."

"Hah!" Sam announced her triumph to Victoria.

"In the end, I won, and Sensei made the Grannies let us carry them for awhile, but it did stick with me. Even Grannies have their pride, and its enough to get your squad killed if you aren't careful." His last words were rather dark and for a moment Victoria was reminded that the person lying just on the other side of Sam was, literally, a murderer. Yes, he had killed people in war and in self-defense, but.. There was blood on his hands. Unconsciously, she reached over and grabbed the edge of Sam's sleeve to keep her close. Kakashi turned his face towards the two of them, and gave his trademark eye-crinkling smile, but it didn't feel quite genuine. "So. Which of you is going to go next?"

Samantha, feeling Victoria's discomfort, chimed in, "Me!" Patting Tori's hand in comfort, Sam contemplated on the best story to give. "Hmmm… well. There once was a girl, who dreamed of romance. From the time she realized she would be a mom one day, it was all the girl could think about. Every time her family moved to a different home, it's what she dreamed of. That one day, a dashing prince would come and sweep her off her feet. However, much to her disappointment, that day never did arrive. Instead, she learned something about life. Family was far more important that a spouse. As long as she had her family, she would be fine. Though it never got rid of the longing of wishing to be with someone. She did find solace in stories. Sometimes, she even imagined they'd be real, because what an awesome adventure would lay ahead of her if that was true." Samantha lay back, resting her head on her hands. "Then one day, she found herself thrust into one of those realities. Something she had long since believed to be fantasy." Samantha was no good at storytelling. She loved to read, but her mind always went blank when it came to 'on the spot' moments. "It was a dream come true." She finally finished.

"What did she find in the new reality?" Victoria asked, prompting Samantha forward in her tale. She could tell, of course, the reality of Sam behind the nameless heroine, but Kakashi would have no reason to see that and the story had to have some sort of ending. "Was there a prince there? Someone unbelievably hot?"

Samantha gave a quick laugh, "Oh yes. One of the hottest around. Though she never did find her one true love. She did find a best friend in the extremely hot prince. One of many, in fact. The girl wasn't lucky in the way of love, but she had a plethora of best friends. Which, because of the goals the girl had set for herself, ended up filling the tightness that the loss of a dashing prince had been."

"Friends can be a family," Kakashi agreed. "The girl was lucky. Although, I prefer the stories that do end with love, or at least someone getting naked."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Samantha laughed a breathy laugh. "I agree, though. Love at the end of the story is the best kind. I guess I just contradicted myself with the story I just told, eh? Hah. Oh geez." Samantha could tell she was digging herself into a hole and therefore decided to quit while she was ahead.

Tori giggled, blushing a little at the whole conversation. "Well, not every story ends perfectly," she reminded Sam. "That's totally okay. Maybe it's not the end of that character's story yet. It could still surprise you."

"Fair enough," Samantha agreed. "Who knows? There could definitely be a sequel! I've not read it yet, though."

"You'll have to let me know how it ends," Kakashi told her and silence fell much more comfortably between them all for a time. "Tori-Chan...it's your turn," the copycat ninja drawled.

"Are you sure?" the tall girl hedged nervously. "I think Sam probably had more to add, right?"

"Pff, I think Kakashi's right! It's definitely your turn." Samantha elbowed her friend, "No way you're getting out of our storytelling."

"Rude," Tori accused under her breath. "Um...I can't really think of anything," she admitted, totally blanking out.

"A story or a song," Kakashi reminded from Sam's other side. "It doesn't have to be long."

"Huh. Okay.." Nervously, she licked her lips, debating for awhile but then she softly began to sing an old song she sometimes used as a lullaby for her niece. "I'll sing it one last time for you," she started softly, "But then I really have to go. You've been the only thing that's right..in all I've done." It wasn't perfect, Tori knew she had an okay, but far from awesome voice, and she probably skipped a verse or two in the middle, but somehow, it felt like home. And there in the darkness and the stars, it felt right to have that little bit of home again. Letting the last note die away, she sighed softly and leaned her head against Sam's shoulder.

"Wow," Samantha commented, "I haven't heard that song in such a long time." She stared at the sky in thought. "That was… Snow Patrol? Right?" She rarely listened to the band, and could really only sing one of the songs herself. But it was a good choice! Suddenly, through the thick of their musings of the universe and familiarity of home, a rustling came from the bushes, and before any of them could sit up and turn around, an orange blur appeared by their heads, crashing loudly past and disappearing as quick as he came. Samantha shot up, to look behind her, "What in the world?" She glanced at Kakashi to gauge his thoughts, "Was that… Naruto?" She briefly gave a look at Tori throughout her question.

The silver-haired jounin was crouched and poised, his gaze turned in the direction the blur had gone. "Stay here," he instructed and then he disappeared in a blur of dark blue.

Victoria slowly got to her feet as well. She gathered their things, stuffing it all back into the basket. "If that was Naruto," she said, trying to stay calm, "That's bad, right? Didn't you say the other day that the one douchebag guy was going to chase him and try to kill him for some sort of scroll? If he comes this same way, we're right in his path."

Samantha hesitated, "Uh, well. Yes… but Iruka was already fighting him. Had him tricked, actually. But… you're right. If they come through here… he could take us as hostages… that does _not_ sound fun. We should leave."

Tori nodded determinedly and pointed towards the east, perpendicular to the path the orange Naruto-blur had traveled. They both began to quickly make their way down the hill, the long grasses shushing around them. Tori's heart was pounding quickly, but she felt remarkably calm. Distantly there was a harsh sound like something huge crashing into a pine tree. Without it needing to be said, they both started to run: the tree line being the best defense they could hope for from the dangerous shinobi battling somewhere behind them. Once they broke the treeline, Tori pointed to the south, back the way that Naruto had fled from. It made sense to go to where the ninja _used_ to be as a way to avoid being where they might suddenly be. Jogging now - they really needed to get in better shape - they darted between trees and over logs until they both couldn't go any further. "Let's - stop - there," Victoria gasped, pointing to a small wooden shack underneath three large oak trees up ahead. "I can't..go any more.."

Huffing, Samantha nodded, "I'm fine - with that," She made her legs move forward, until both she and Tori were in front of the wooden shack. Samantha cautiously opened the door, wincing when it creaked open, staring blankly into the cob-webby area. "Uh, how about let's not go in there," She volunteered to Victoria, opting to sit on the grass instead to catch her breath.

"What..ever.." Tori panted, flopping down onto a nearby rock. "I just..didn't want to..stay there," she said. Coughing harshly, she pressed a hand to her chest as though it could slow down her heart rate and regain her breath. "No point...In messing up..the timeline..more than it has been." She coughed hard again, bending over with the force of it. As she did, her hand landed on something smooth and papery. Blinking, she picked it up. "Found..something." She waved the piece of parchment to Sam and then handed it over. "Does it look important.. To you?"

Samantha had closed her eyes, "I…" She panted, "I have no idea," She weakly grabbed the parchment, looking at the writings. "There's...Japanese writing," Coughing into her arm, Samantha inspected the parchment closer, her brow furrowing. "I have…no idea what it says," She confessed, "I'm still learning Japanese." She rested a little longer, finally feeling like she wasn't wheezing and gulping in air. Sam laid the parchment piece on her stomach, glancing at the shed, before her eyes narrowed. "That place… looks familiar." She told Tori.

Tori gave a sad laugh between her labored breathing. "Don't tell me..something awful is about to happen here..and we walked right into it."

"Uh, well, no? Crap, I don't remember! This place… Naruto running… Kakashi leaving…" Samantha sat up, viewing her surroundings. "I… I think this is… oh my gosh! Tori!" Sam whipped towards her friend, "Today's the first day of the anime!"

"But..we knew that," Tori reminded her breathlessly. "All the kids at the match, they had their headbands. That means they graduated. And..you said yesterday that we had to keep an eye out for the creeper from the restaurant cuz he tries to kill Naruto the night of graduation, right? So..that's where we are, right? What happens when he tries to chase him? Like, obviously Naruto ends up okay, cuz he's in the rest of the show, but what else happens?"

Samantha blinked, staring at the shed, "Well… Iruka found Naruto just before the douchebag Mizuki did, took a massive shuriken for Naruto, got Naruto to escape - which must've been what we had been witnessing when he ran past - Iruka dupes Mizuki, and Naruto beats the man to a pulp using his multi-shadow clone jutsu. This is where Naruto becomes a genin! I can't believe it! I had just… completely forgotten that that's what happened tonight! Then," Samantha looked at the parchment piece in her hand, "This must be a part of the forbidden scroll…"

Tori frowned. "Like, full of ninja secrets?" she asked worriedly. "We should probably keep it safe then." The sound of running footsteps reached their ears about half a second before a lean silver-topped form skidded to a stop in front of them.

Kakashi glared at them both. "I told you to stay there," he growled.

Samantha gulped, staring like a deer caught in the headlights, "That's true. You did."

"We heard someone coming," Victoria hastily added. His gaze shot between them and Victoria felt uncomfortably like she was about to be yelled at by the principal. "We didn't want to get in the middle of whatever was going on. Retreat sounded like the safest option."

"Really, it was the better option," Samantha agreed, backing Tori up.

"You don't disobey the squad leader," he growled out. "Unless lives are in danger." Clearly full of anxious energy beyond the rage he was crackling with, the copycat ninja began to spin a razor-sharp kunai between his fingers. He stalked back and forth in front of them, his gaze shooting restlessly to the forest around them.

For the first since Samantha and Tori had arrived in Konoha, Sam felt real irritation towards the jounin, " _Our_ lives were in danger. Safety is a must in my book." She clenched her teeth, her eyes blazing, before Samantha sighed, "Sorry. I know we must've worried you…"

"I..can't protect you if I don't know where you are." The words tore out like he was reluctant to say them at all.

Samantha recognized the agony in the words and bit her lip, "I'm sorry," she said, earnestly.

Tori got to her feet, her hands stretched out in a placating way. "Kakashi-San," she said gently, "We just tried to do what was best. It was my decision. We didn't want to be a vulnerability for you if something bad happened. And..it was a good thing we did move. Sam, show him what we found."

"Oh, right!"

Samantha held out the hand with the parchment, intending to give it to Kakashi, when, right before the jounin reached for the piece, a male voice called out, "No! Don't give it to him!" Samantha paused, baffled, pulling back her hand briefly, looking confusedly in Tori's direction. Her friend seemed to be just as puzzled.

Kakashi reached out to take the scrap of paper from her, when both women unexpectedly stepped back, Sam gripping the parchment tighter, for no reason they could understand. Again, a voice - a teen boy's voice, Tori could now tell - repeated the instruction. "Don't let Kakashi-sama have that scroll!"

Without her recognizing what she was doing, Victoria grabbed the scrap from Sam's fingers and hid it behind her back. "I..I don't know why, but I don't want to give this to you," she explained helplessly.

The futility of her attempt was obvious when just seconds later Victoria's fingers were grasping nothing and the jounin was halfway across the small clearing, examining the scrap of parchment for himself. "No!" Tori cried.

"Wait! Come back!" Samantha, for reasons unknown to her, felt an inexplicable panic at the sight of Kakashi walking away with the parchment. Whatever that voice was, whatever it did to cause her to lose the ability to function for even that split second was enough to recognize something was wrong. That voice had called Kakashi "sama". A title the man didn't get for years later. It left her with more questions than answers and the thought was exhausting. "We have to go after him," Samantha frantically replied to Tori, starting forward to follow after the man.

They both hurried forward and the former Anbu responded by leaping up into the sturdy branches of the nearest oak. Neither Sam nor Tori had any hope of following him up there. He was reading the scroll as intently as though it were one of his pervy-novels. "You're not supposed to have that!" Victoria cried after him, not knowing why she felt so desperately or hopelessly certain of that fact, but just the thought of it was making her feel about to cry. "Destroy it! Throw it away! Do something!"

"Please! Just trust us!" Samantha pleaded with him. They were now staring up at Kakashi's crouched form in the very high trees. Surely what a gift it would be if they could climb trees too. How unopportunistic! Sam lamented in her lack of skill, all the while wondering why she felt such a need to pry that blasted parchment from his grip.

Victoria dug her hands into her hair, pulling at the strands and growling slightly to herself. "It's bad!" she called up. "Whatever it is in there, you're not supposed to have it! Please, Kakashi-San!"

He finally looked down at them and then tucked the scrap away beneath the cover his tactical vest. He frowned slightly at the both of them. Kakashi seemed about to say something but then shook his head slightly. "I have to go let the Hokage know the Forbidden Scroll is not protected. You stay here or I cannot promise to protect you from the consequences." Then he was bounding away in the moonlight, gone from their sight in mere seconds.

"No!" Samantha ineffectively held out her hand in protest, as if to make after Kakashi. But the jounin was long gone, leaving them to their own devices. Blowing out a flustered breath, Sam looked towards Tori, "Well… I guess… we wait here?"

Tori sighed, looking wistfully after the departed male. "I guess we have to," she agreed. "But heavens, I wish he hadn't read that.." Turning back to Sam, her eyes widened and she pointed at Sam's left pocket. "Sam, you're glowing.."

"What're you-?" Samantha began as she looked down at her pocket, her eyes widening at the sight, "Holy fudge!" She quickly whipped her hand in her pocket and pulled out the marble that was, for the second time since they had found the item, glowing that piercing white. Samantha held it away from her face for a second, before looking once again at the marble. "What do you think this means?" She questioned Tori, her heart beating wildly. The glowing marble was laying flat on her open palm.

"Maybe it means we can go home now?" Victoria asked. She felt hesitant though. Clearly something was still undone in all this. "Or..I dunno, maybe it senses the presence of orcs?" Her weird humor manifested to conceal the sense of anxiety the glowing marble caused. "It knew we needed a flashlight?"

Samantha let out a laugh in her anxiousness, "Sadly, I doubt this is like Frodo's sword: Sting." She replied, "But maybe you're right. Maybe we'll get to go home, now? It's how we got here, initially."

Tori took a slow step closer, eyeing the marble like it might suddenly jump from Sam's hand and whack her in the forehead. "Or we'll get dragged away somewhere worse... _Akame Ga Kill_ comes to mind as a place I do not want to go.."

"Ugh! Why would even bring that up! Such an awful ending! Ugh!" Despite her worry, Samantha's nose crinkled with disgust. "But that place would be better than _Tokyo Ghoul_. Oh heavens, please don't let us go to that place! Wait, why are we even contemplating going to another place? What if it's just glowing just to glow?" She tried for placation's sake.

"Well, is it sticking to your hand yet?" Victoria asked worriedly. Sam gave her palm a little wave and the marble innocently rolled about. "Then I say we just get rid of it!" Victoria declared, and in a move of panic-driven stupidity, she grabbed the marble and flung it as hard as she could into the forest. Like a confused dog, she peered into the darkness to see where it went only to realize the glow had never left her hand. "Ack!" Victoria shook her hand up and down as hard as she could trying to dislodge the evil, magic ball. "Sam!" she cried pathetically, "I made a dumb!"

"I think you cursed us." Samantha stated, half amused, half in horror. She simply stared at the marble, before realizing that she could be stuck here and quickly grabbed onto the marble herself, having the same effect. Her hand was officially stuck. "At least, wherever we go, we're not alone!"

"Awwhh.." Tori cooed, but then the burst of glittery lights started and she remembered what was at stake here. "Sam! Kakashi won't know! He told us not to move. He won't understand!"

At Tori's realization, Samantha glanced around the forest worriedly. "I don't think we can stop this now, Tor." Sam said with a sad smile. "Maybe we should shout out to him?" After all, for some reason, their vanishing was taking quite a long time this time.

The marble started to pulse beneath their fingers and the light grew brighter and brighter. Squinting her eyes, Tori turned away and shouted as loud as she could. "Kakashi-San! We're sorry!" She dimly heard Sam shouting with her, but then the light was overwhelming and all that was left was total darkness and the faint whisper of starlight.

* * *

Special Bonus! Behind the Scenes # 1

RoyalVicTorie: (after a full 37 hours waiting for a reply. How tragic, right?). You don't have to go to work yet. You should get Kakashi's Tragic Backstory written so I can reply to it.

MangaGeek3: I'm gonna do it.

RoyalVicTorie: I mean, you could just kinda summarize the conversation. What points are you going to hit?

**Cue 20 minute long discussion of Kakashi's Tragic Backstory**

MangaGeek3: I'm not gonna tell you any more than that. You're not supposed to know until later.

RoyalVicTorie: Fine..but now that you told me, I can just write it for you! Problem solved.

MangaGeek3: Um, no! It's my words. You can't write my words!

RoyalVicTorie: (sensing she might have to wait another whole day) But I know how you talk, and you just told me what you'd say. I could totally write as you.

MangaGeek3: (laughing) No! That's not right! It's my words. You can't write it.

RoyalVicTorie: (like a punk gangster) I've done it before, and I'LL DO IT AGAIN!

...and clearly the threat worked, cuz MangaGeek3 wrote her side before work. :P

* * *

 **A/N: What's up peeps! Our fellow readers! MangaGeek3 here. We have finally gotten out our next chapter! But, I mean... c'mon... it's quite long, no? xD Anyways... soooo much feels in this chapter eh? Thank you so much to our fellow reader's and reviewers! I hope you look forward to what's to come in the next chapter! (I mean... why wouldn't you? This was left on a cliff-hanger. The worst! xD ) So many things are beginning to happen and the plot is beginning to move forward. Yay! Anyways... pleeeeeeeease Read and Review! We love you all!**

 **RoyalVicTorie says: Hi everyone! Thanks so much for the read! We had a ridiculously funtime with the chapter - wasn't that fight great? Thank you muchly for your patience in between updates. And finally, tell us what you guys think! Who's the real main character out of these guys: Sam or Tori? Settle the debate for us once and for all! 3**


	6. Chapter 6

**That They Are Full of Sticky Situations**

Every properly trained shinobi has the ability to extend their available senses using the strength of their chakra: the Inu tribe could track enemies by scent alone, the Hyuga almost literally had eyes in the back of their heads, and a ninja of the Sound Village needed only to listen to be able to figure out exactly what moment her opponent breathed out before an attack. Raised in a world of microphones and telephoto lenses, Tori and Sam had never had to develop that kind of precision. The best they had ever done to access their own inward strength of spiritual and mental energy was the odd moment when knowing to suddenly stop the shopping cart saved them from a collision with someone else at Walmart. But sometimes instinct can cover for what a total absence of practice might leave behind… that was the only explanation for how Tori managed to regain consciousness from their latest marble-toss without falling out of the rather impressive birch tree the marble had landed them in. Her body's awareness of the potential drop kept her incredibly still even though the woman struggled to find any way to comfortably open her night-trained eyes against the brilliant daylight breaking down through the golden leaves.

"Nnngh," she groaned at the sun for its continued glaring. "Th's's th'wors…" she mumbled, and a nearby chipmunk froze at the sound and then scittered past on a neighboring branch, although it agreed. Random humans dropping onto trees when he had nut-gathering to do, was definitely the worst.

Raising a hand to block the sun made her sway dangerously, and the faint chakra-driven instincts that had kept her aloft so far instantly froze Victoria up and only after a breathless moment did she much more carefully and cautiously complete the gesture. With her hand blocking the bright glare above, she finally had an opportunity to peer at the forest canopy around her. Just a few branches away, but about ten feet closer to the ground, lay Sam: cleary still unconscious and very tenuously caught between three criss-crossing tree limbs only half-covered in red and gold leaves. A sharp breeze billowed up, sending more leaves scattering to the heavens. One crinkly star of leaffall caught on Sam's cheek, tapping it forlornly. Carefully, Tori leaned forward just slightly more, and felt dizzy when she saw the significant distance between her perch and Sam's was only half the space between Sam and the ground. _That's..that's thirty feet. I'm thirty-feet in the air, that's almost a three story house! That's enough to kill a dude. That's enough to kill me! Oh dang, crap-muffins. And Sam!_ Heart pounding, Tori, one hesitant hand-shift at a time, managed to switch around so that she was balanced belly-down on the very large and sturdy limb she'd woken on. Her fingers trembled as she tried to find a grip on the too-smooth tree limb. It was scary, but she had to figure out some way to get down to Sam. She scooted slightly forward and taking a deep breath, called down. "Sam? Sam!"

Samantha groaned, blinking her tired eyes up at the worried and concerned cries of her best friend. Her body complained like she had just ran a marathon. Rubbing her eyes, Samantha murmured out an indiscernible question, feeling like she could sleep for another seven hours. The scratchy pricks against her skin caused Samantha to peek at her surroundings, eyebrows raising when she noticed she was perfectly resting against the skinny branches of a tree. Above her, Sam's pupils focused enough to see Tori's own, frightened ones looking down at Sam through the leaves of the tree they'd landed in. "Tori?" Sam wasn't quite sure what her question was supposed to be, but with her head feeling mixed up like marbles- Sam nearly jolted when she remembered what had happened. _Holy fudge! And here I thought that landing on the mountain was rough._ Twitching to try and find a more comfortable position that wasn't scratching up her arms, the cradle-like position she'd found herself in was only the icing to the cake and as Sam turned her head to look below her, a large crack reverberated through her entire body and she whipped her head to the side to find where the sound came from when she found herself falling off the relatively thin branches and down, down, to the bottom. It certainly didn't help her case when Samantha gave an effort to save her fall by reaching out to Victoria's outstretched hand with no success.

Victoria's shriek of horror raced forward to try to catch the falling Sam, but there was nothing she could do but watch as her friend's white face disappeared between the flame-colored leaves: Sam's own desperate shriek echoed hauntingly back at her.

Sam's arms and hands desperately tried to grasp at anything they could: rough bark scraped her hands, but her own weight and speed denied her fingers the opportunity to grip. Long, grey branches scraped and tore at her clothing. One vicious stem whipped hard across her face but then the last firm bole slipped past her and there was a breathless moment of free fall. _OhmygoshI'mgonnadie! This is gonna hurt!_ she thought, though was feeling oddly numb, like the surprise of "free falling" from the top of The Rocket. And then her feet hit sideways off something and Samantha had just a split second to throw her arms around it before she and whatever she had grabbed hit hard into the ground with an explosion of leaves. Pain shot up her left leg and ankle and the same side's shoulder felt like the Hulk had slammed into it, but her cry was half as much relief as shocked pain. She had only half a second to process what had happened when the thing she had used to catch her fall at the last moment shot away from her, a blur of faded green and a red as bright as the leaves around them. The dramatic flutter of falling leaves hissed and whispered around the distinctive clack-clack of wooden getas. Vision still swimming from the effects of the marble, it took Samantha Winters a long time to be able to focus on the figure just a few feet away: its arms raised in a defensive stance. The sunlight gleamed off his horned forehead protector, Sam tried to focus on the man's face, to see if it was really as aged and lined as the wild mane of white hair seemed to promise. Finally, she blinked and the twin streaks of bright red cutting down from the corner of each eye was the little detail her tired mind needed to put it all together. "Holy...pervy sage?" she whispered.

Jiraiya straightened from his defensive position, his narrowed focus clearing while patting his clothes, looking down at Sam. "Well, I wasn't planning on doing any 'fishing' today, but I suppose now is as good a time as any."

Samantha's staring was long enough that she realized she'd had her jaw dropped, nearly star-struck and perhaps too dazzled to recognize the sannin's comparison. Samantha and Tori were very lucky to be dropped in another place where they could trust someone. At least, Sam was praying they'd be able to trust the sage ninja. Jiraiya noticed her ogling and took it upon himself to smirk.

"So, you've noticed the handsome Jiraiya, have you?" He had a gleam in his eye that Samantha wasn't quite sure what to think of, but the frown on Jiraiya's face replaced his smirk a second time, placing a hand on his hip. "What would a pretty young lady such as yourself be doing falling from the sky?" He looked up briefly at the rather large tree, then back down at Samantha. Shifting and wincing, her shaking hands gripped her leg. _Ack, it's probably broken!_ she thought.

"I…" Sam stumbled over what she'd say, "Well… I… We…" What could she say? Sam wasn't the best at coming up with convincing stories right on the spot! She needed Tori for this. "My friend!" Jiraiya was one of the legendary sannin, he'd be able to help, right? "My friend is stuck in the tree! Please! Can you please help get her down? It's… a really long fall." Sam's whole side felt bruised. _This was a not a good time to break anything. Just when we were sent somewhere else by that bizarre marble. Where is Jiraiya traveling to, anyway?_ Jiraiya glanced up into the tree, taking note of a currently stuck Victoria Lexington.

"There're two of you?" Jiraiya asked, surprise lacing his question. He placed the other hand on his hip, turning his body to face the tree, the crunch of the leaves beneath his feet seeming to brush the air like a chord struck on a keyboard.

"Yes! Please, help her! You're a shinobi, right? Can't shinobi do pretty much anything?" Samantha's plea was hardly hidden. Jiraiya's cocky smirk arose, and he closed his eyes in boast, "Well, to have such faith in an amazing shinobi like me, I can hardly resist your desire. Of course! The great and handsome Jiraiya toad sage shall come to the young maiden's rescue!" He hopped up off the ground as expertly as any toad he could summon.

In the tangled tree limbs above, Victoria was trying to summon all her vestiges of courage, balance, and upper body strength to climb down her much sturdier, but less branched tree. "Curse my pitiful childhood," she muttered, feeling about to cry for the fact that her best friend was somewhere far below, possibly dead, certainly in pain, and she was still so, so high up the tree. "Just once! Just once I should have at least tried to climb a stupid tree. I don't even know what I'm doing!" Whimpering - somehow that helped her courage to hear how pathetic she was - Victoria slowly started to slide down over the branch, toes stretching through the empty air to find the target limb below.

"Hiya."

"Blaghhh!" Tori shrieked in total shock at the sudden appearance of a wild man in her tree. Her toes jerked in fright as her weak arms gave up at just the same moment and she was fall - fall - "Urgh.." The very strong and immovable arm catching her knocked the breath from her lungs; stars spun dizzingly through the air around her.

"Whoa. Hold still, miss. We've already had one young maiden fall from the sky today. I think we've hit the quota."

Victoria could only manage some sort of breathless grunt before the wild man was jumping from branch to branch, Tori's dead weight in his arms seeming to present no more difficulty to him than that of a bag of flour. _Dangerous_ , her mind whispered. _Too strong. Shinobi?_ But it was hard to think more than that as the limbs shot past faster than mile-markers on the interstate.

The show-off Toad Sage landed on just one foot, grinning at the still-stunned Sam. He held the rag-doll shape of the panting Victoria against one side like a prized trophy. "The handsome Jiraiya does it again! Two young maidens saved from the dangers of the forest!"

"Heh," Samantha smirked, resting her left arm against her stomach, her right tenderly applying pressure to her left leg. _Tori's one lucky duck_ she thought wryly. "Thanks. We could never have survived without you." Her dry sarcasm rolled off her tongue like sliced cheese, and Samantha could have laughed at their luck.

"So," Jiraiya began, after setting Victoria down, his sober tone putting Samantha on edge just a little, "What brings you ladies to the middle of the forest and so high up in a tree?" The probing question left little room for the two girls to get away with not answering. Samantha internally froze, racking her brain to come up with a reason, but couldn't fathom any reasonable reason to tell the suddenly calculating shinobi.

Wincing, Victoria pressed one hand gingerly against her aching ribs. "Bad...transport..spell," she breathed, telling the partial truth. "We were in a bad spot. The shinobi protecting us must not have had quite the right marks." She winced and hobbled over to Sam. "Are you okay, Samantha?" She half-crouched down, a silent question in her eyes. _Do you know who this is?_

Samantha nodded, "I'm fine. Well… I might have broken a leg or something. I'm pretty sure I've forever bruised my shoulder," she pointed to her aching shoulder, "But he thankfully broke my fall. The impact would've been worse if I hadn't landed on him." Recognizing Tori's hesitance towards the toad sage, Samantha whispered, " _That's_ pervy sage, by the way!"

Tori's eyes widened. She was aware that there was, somewhere in the Naruto-verse, a man that was more pervy than Kakashi's naughty books: the man who wrote the naughty books. ...But that was all she actually knew about the legendary Sannin. Still, to be around another recognizable character: that had to be a good sign! And it confirmed that they were still in Naruto-verse. That was likewise good: meant her cover story made sense. She turned to face their unintended rescuer with a tentative smile. "We were really lucky to have you show up when you did, sir. Thank you very, very much."

Jiraiya's posture puffed up, "Well of course! No way could I, the great Jiraiya, let two lovely young ladies in need of my help go unattended. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to." Jiraiya turned on his heel abruptly, beginning his journey anew. Samantha and Victoria looked at each other, confused. If this had been an anime, question marks could've been seen popping up around their heads.

"Wait!" Samantha called, confused, "Where are you going?"

"To town. I'm needed there. I've got very specific research that needs to be done."

"But…" Sam glanced down at her leg, then over at Tori, then once again at Jiraiya's back, "You're really going to leave us here in the forest?"

Jiraiya turned sideways to look at them, "Well, you can walk, can't you?" He glanced at Samantha, still favoring her leg with her hand. He sighed, then walked over and crouched down intending to apply pressure. Sam's heart pierced for a split second and she jerked away from his hand.

"You...you're not going to hurt it, are you?" She asked. Contrary to popular belief, Samantha was actually quite frightened of being hurt. Many people in the world were afraid of being dead, but Samantha was more afraid of the act of dying: the pain that came before hand, rather than being dead. So… any more pain that would be inflicted on her was something that Sam avoided. The most that she'd ever done in her life by way of being hurt was a fractured bone that could've been considered more annoying then painful. Jiraiya looked at her skeptically.

"In order to find out if your leg is broken, I will need to apply pressure to it. Whether it hurts or not will depend on if it's actually broken."

Biting her lip, Samantha mentally geared herself up and nodded, "Alright…" Jiraiya continued his motion and felt her leg, applying slight pressure on several areas of the calf. In one particular spot, Samantha hissed and jerked her leg a little.

Jiraiya hummed, "Well… it's not broken. Probably bruised to the bone. It's possible you've got a hairline fracture, but you'd need to see a doctor for that."

"A doctor?" Samantha could've cursed their luck, "Um… well… we don't… actually… have any money. See… we were moved to this spot so quickly that we weren't able to bring our things with us…"

Tori, still finding it hard to breathe around her bruised ribs, had watched the strange, old man, with his giant mane of tangled, matted hair check out Sam's leg. His features were kind, though, somehow at odds with his terrifying appearance and inhuman strength. "Can you tell us where we are, at least?" she asked softly. "And..um, are you a friend of the Leaf Village, Jiraiya-San?" She was definitely trepidatious of asking outright how to get there. In theory the presence of so many high-power soldiers meant that this world had a lot of enemies. Maybe Pervy-Sage hated Kakashi's town. That would be a problem.

Samantha's nerves heightened and twitched at Tori's question. "Tori!" Sam whispered with a quick tap against her arm, "What if we're not by the Leaf Village! What if he gets suspicious of us?" She tried to keep her voice down, but Jiraiya's raised eyebrow left her wondering.

"Oh-ho? Are you two, yourselves, a friend of the Leaf Village?"

"W-we are," Sam stuttered, connecting eyes with the Sannin.

"Kind of new friends.." Victoria hedged. "But, we do have connections there."

"Is that right?" Jiraiya drawled, "And who is this connection of yours?"

"Kakashi-san!" Samantha replied swiftly.

Victoria couldn't hide the twitch of surprise that Sam so quickly answered, but then she nodded, affirming the answer herself. Feeling uncomfortably unbalanced by the whole conversation, Tori scrambled to her feet, starting to help Sam up as well. "Yes. And he is likely worried about us. We should, um. …." She looked helplessly around.

"We were headed back to the Leaf Village. Kakashi-san and a few others had been travelling with us before we ended up here." Samantha, holding onto Victoria's shoulder for support, prayed that the white-haired sannin wouldn't see through the holes of their story. Despite his skeptical look, the admittedly handsome man sighed in resignation.

"Fine fine. I'll escort you to the nearest hospital to make sure that your leg is properly cared for-"

"But we're-"

"I'll be paying for it." Jiraiya interjected with a 'no-nonsense, I'm the boss' tone. "And then I'll check out your story..."

"Um, okay!" Sam replied, grateful that there wasn't more questions.

Tori smiled weakly at the scowling shinobi. They sure managed to make ninjas glare at them like that a lot… "Thank you, Jiraiya-san." He gave a small nod and then began to purposefully walk forward, the leaned-together Sam and Tori following a little more slowly. "So..I heard a rumor that the author Jiraiya was a traveler like you. You aren't the same Jiraiya, are you?"

The toad sage looked remarkably like Alex Louis Armstrong of _Fullmetal Alchemist_ as he spun about, smirking triumphantly and striking a pose with his fingers and thumb framing the shape of his own jaw.

"Well, if you must know! You would be looking at _the_ Jiraiya." He posed, and Samantha nearly laughed when she realized what his hopping indicated. "From the North to the South and the East to the West, not even the spirits can defeat this sannin! The White-maned toad charmer! The red-hot ninja who strikes fear in the hearts of men! But love in the hearts of his readers." The man cackled, before abruptly stopping, his large smile glaringly bright. "I'm impressed you know of my work. Are you two fans?"

"Er… well… something like that." Samantha smiled, a tiny strangled laugh reverberating off her vocal chords.

"We have a friend that is a very devoted fan," Tori explained. "Haven't had a chance to read anything ourselves though." _And frankly a little scared to! They sell those things wrapped in plastic!_ They had spent hours at the bookstore one day while Kakashi browsed, having to consult a list he kept of which books he already had at home. At the time, Victoria had found it incredibly endearing to watch the silver-haired man fluttering and grinning at the numerous books. Samantha had been instantly drawn to the children's section: trying to find the kanji-equivalent of an alphabet book to use to teach Tori, leaving Tori to slowly flutter along behind Kakashi and soak in the sparkly shine of his little eye-smiles.

" _So, what's that one about?" she asked finally after he had gleefully tucked a new selection onto his growing stack._

 _Pausing, he tipped his head a little. "You really want to know?"_

 _Victoria nodded. "Yeah." Laughing, she gave a loose shrug. "Being around this many books and not being able to read a single one is driving me crazy. Will you let me live vicariously through you, Kakashi-San?" She gave a hopeful little smile and a shrug._

 _The ninja seemed pretty hesitant, but after a moment, he nodded. Stepping closer to her, he began to read the back in a very soft voice so as not to catch the attention of their fellow shoppers. Victoria's heart pounded and the blood rushed to her ears, leaving them a bright pink, but her whole world had narrowed to just the two of them and the words._

"'The Spring of Love _is the latest stand-alone novel by Jiraiya and exemplifies the Love Sage's mastery of human seduction. Heroine Naoko, upset by her father's plans for her future, escapes to the mysterious and pleasurable hot springs of the North where she encounters many mysterious characters including the sharp-eyed Tadao in whose fine arms she feels safe, but whose hard lips bring her to the dangerous cliffs of passion. Yet, there is a dark secret at the hot springs: one which may prove more dangerous than even the bliss Naoko finds in Tadao's touch.'" After a long moment, Kakashi turned the novel around, gazing down at the cover featuring a beautiful woman holding a kunai: a ghostly figure behind her. "His last one was a bit gothic too," he added. "But the genjutsus he imagines for the battle sequences.."_

 _Victoria felt dizzy from the soft, dusky scent of him and nodded slightly. "Sounds like..you really admire his work," she whispered. "How many books has he written?"_

 _Kakashi gave a slight shrug. "He put out four this year. But he's been writing for a long time. Of course, most people just know his Makeout Series."_

" _Wow! That's incredible. It takes a lot of work to write. Four novels a year. That's so fast."_

 _The shinobi nodded a little and stepped away to begin browsing again. "Writing is a real discipline," he observed. "Requiring much by way of emotion and strength." He picked up another book, looked only at the author name and then returned it to the shelf. "You and Samantha-Chan write."_

 _Tori shook her head quickly, her flush staining her cheeks now, not just the tips of her ears. "Not like that," she argued instantly. "I've never finished a full book in my life. Or even finished a long story. I'm leagues away from being a real writer."_

 _The ninja calmly continued to peruse and the silence made her feel a little silly. Finally, he looked over. "You will someday," he said simply. "I believe you have many stories within you, Tori-Chan."_

"Your friend must have impeccable taste!" Jiraiya declared loudly, breaking through Victoria's thoughts. "Does he know that I have a movie coming out?"

"I'm not sure," Tori confessed, "But I know he recently bought _The Spring of Love_."

At her words the self-proclaimed Toad Sage deflated a little. Even the tips of his wild man mane seemed to sink. "Ah. Not a very fervid fan then. That book's been out over a year." He continued to skulk along, his wooden getas thunking sullenly.

Behind his back, Sam and Tori exchanged surprised glances. The flagrant display of autumn had made it obvious that they may have moved through time as well as space, but a full year? "Sam, I know that when we went with Kakashi to the bookstore that that was the new release he was excited about," Tori whispered as quietly as she could, glad that the wind picked up at just that moment to shriek playfully and toss the leaves about with a cheery crackling. "We must have traveled forward by like twelve, thirteen months then. What happens in Naruto's second year? Would that be before or after the attack on the village you told me about?"

"Hm, I'm not sure where that puts us, exactly... I know that Naruto goes on a training mission with Jiraiya for two years before they come back. That's like… right after the retrieval mission. And Jiraiya stays for a bit… but soon is gone while Naruto does another mission. So… Yeah. I don't know… I don't remember anything about a movie; but there were so many filler episodes… who knows?" Sam contemplated the thought. With how many awesome canon episodes there were already and how ridiculous the filler episodes were, she tended to avoid them as much as possible. Except for the important fillers. Like the Kakashi arc. Those were totally canon.

Victoria frowned and gripped Sam's arm a little tighter to support her as they walked over a section of the road that was more rocky. "So, does that put us in the more dangerous part you were telling me about? With the Orochi-guy? Or are we to the point of the Pein guys with the cool coats?" _And..why are we here? Nope, Tori, no time to think about this. We gotta just focus on staying on our feet. There's someone here that Sam knows and seems to trust. We just gotta keep our head above water for now. We'll figure out the crazy voice-from-the-other-side thing later._

"Uh…" Sam was suddenly acutely aware of the Sannin in front of them. "Well… With Orochimaru? I'd say yes. But I can assure you that we're definitely not at that point in time when Pein arrives." She whispered to Victoria, even lower than before. Jiraiya wasn't around for the Pein arc. If he was even paying half the attention she was sure he was doing, then there'd be some pretty big spoilers he could not be allowed to even question. "But where we actually are? I would need to have a little more detail before I could place us." _We're just super lucky that we landed in front of someone I can recognize from the anime… I'm not sure how we'd find our way to Konoha without knowing a character from it._

The wind picked up, howling through the trees, so Victoria felt safe responding to Sam. "At least we know one person that's gonna stay alive and be on the right side the whole time. Right? Kakashi doesn't go evil or anything does he?" Her little heart might break if he did...well, after it fell in love even more. Poor Tori always had a crush on the villain, at least a little bit. "Granted..he's probably not a huge fan of us right now. We sure left things suspiciously."

Samantha snorted, her blue hair annoyingly fluttering over her mouth while she spoke, "No, Kakashi doesn't go evil - thank goodness! - but you're probably right. There's no way that he'll be happy with us. I mean… we did kind of leave on a fight. At least… for me… man... " Sam's gut twisted with guilt when she remembered lashing out at the jōnin in annoyance. Hopefully it wouldn't be the end of their friendship.

Tori gave Sam's shoulder a small squeeze. "Well if N can forgive S for running out on him and the whole village, then I think His Royal Hotness could forgive us for poofing away. Especially since we had no choice in the matter." Her eyes widened in realization. "Hey. No one speaks alpha-numeric here. We can just spell things out when we need to share super important secret information!"

Sam muttered the letters before recognizing right as Tori explained just who she was talking about. "Alphanumeric, eh? Even though, technically, they can understand us? But I guess if we spell it out, it wouldn't make sense to them… Not a bad idea!"

"I'm practically an evil genius," Victoria agreed sagely. "I'd make a fabulous ninja."

"'You wish!'" Sam quoted the Harry Potter movie with a tiny giggle. "And hopefully His Royal Hotness is like N. I mean… considering N is such a special character… with his talk-no-jutsu and all. I kinda feel like it's pretty unique to him."

"We'll have him talk-no-jutsu Hotness," Tori declared with a nose wrinkle. "Then he'd have to like us, right? Or we could just sing a preeeeettty song. Woo him into liking us again."

Samantha laughed loudly, "Oh yes, I'm sure that would do wonders!"

The sound of the two girls giggling caught the ears of the white-maned man in front of them. Jiraiya sauntered closer to them, since he had resigned himself to their company for the duration of their time to the hospital. 'Time to butter up some hot women!' Sam could hear the man saying. However, that was only in her head.

"You lovely ladies can sing, eh?" Jiraiya smiled, encouragingly.

"Well... yes. We know lots of good songs I'm sure you've never heard of." Sam replied.

 _What song would one sing to impress a pervert?_ Victoria wondered. Her ever-impressive brain instantly began to sing the words " _I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedly-dee.."_ She snorted at the thought, but could not possibly say it aloud. "Yes, um. Did you want us to sing for you, Jiraiya? You could consider it a thank you for your kindness in escorting us to the village."

"Well, considering how much of a stretch we have before we get to the hospital, I wouldn't mind some entertainment." Jiraiya agreed.

"Are you sure?" Sam half smiled, cheekily.

"He doesn't know what he's getting into," Tori declared solemnly.

"No I think he doesn't," Sam agreed slyly.

"We are the unending jukeboxes of the shinobi world. Prepared to sing for hours songs no one knows and even we only remember half the words to." Victoria grinned evilly. "Should we start with some Panic?"

"I think that's a brilliant idea!" Sam thrust her only available fist into the air, then cleared her throat. "Please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman from that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed-"

"I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it! Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring end.." Tori gleefully joined in, their two voices belting through the quiet of the autumn forest. Poor Jiraiya was in for a loooooooooong afternoon.

* * *

"With your new black slacks with accentuating off-white pinstripes - Whoa-oh! Everything goes according to plan!"

"That's it. The cancer is officially old," the pervy sage interrupted. Apparently the third time revisiting the same song was enough to try his patience: even though Sam and Tori's musical wanderings had visited many other songs in between. The girls cackled, but obediently let the song die. "Besides. Village up ahead. Can't have you two scaring the local wildlife."

"Pff, we're too awesome for that." Sam scoffed. "Besides. I think you secretly like that song." She winked at the Sannin and he simply hmphed. She didn't miss his smidgen of a smile that had crawled forth.

"Either way. Once we have your leg taken care of, I'll be taking you two back to Konoha." The two women only had a chance to look surprised before he continued. "That shouldn't be a problem, right? Seeing as how you two have a friend there. I'm sure they must be very worried."

"Uh," was Sam's eloquent response, "Right. Shouldn't be a problem at all." She stumbled on a rock, nearly face planting to the ground if not for Victoria and the surprising gesture from Jiraiya.

"How about I carry you the rest of the way. The faster we get your leg taken care of, the faster we can be gone." Jiraiya turned around, making a gesture for Sam to hop on his back.

Uncomfortably, Sam glanced at Tori, "I don't think I feel comfortable-" her self-conscious sentence was cut off by the impatient man who swatted a hand in front of his face.

"Not a big deal at all. I'm sure you'll be light as a feather!"

"He did manage to haul me down a tree," Tori reminded her with an expressive shrug. "Shinobis are mighty and not to be questioned on their offers of help, eh?"

Without further argument, Jiraiya scooped Sam onto his back and the two girls found themselves quickly to the village hospital.

Jiraiya checked in with the nurse and the two girls were herded off to a room while Jiraiya claimed he had some other business to attend to.

"Not his usual excuse." Sam commented quietly to Tori.

"No?" Victoria asked, claiming the spare chair in their assigned room after helping Sam onto the examination table. "What's his usual excuse?"

"Normally he says something like 'I need to do my research'" Sam brought a finger up as she quoted the man, "And he's usually got a creepy tone to the phrase. Because… he, er, is the super pervy sage."

"Do I want to- no, I probably don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss and all that." Tori stretched her legs out, rolling her ankles to ease the aches of their walk. Secretly, she was proud of herself. All that darn hiking must actually be building her endurance a tiny bit. "Okay. So what's the game plan? Just let the toad man frogmarch us home to Konoha?"

"I don't suppose we have a choice," Sam replied, thinking about the quaint Leaf Village and Jiraiya's adamant determination to prove their story. "What if Kakashi doesn't remember us? Or even the Hokage? We might be in a bit of a situation…"

"Awh, man, that would suck," Tori said with a frown. "You...really think he would forget us?" Her toes took to sadly nudging the floor tiles instead of their happy bouncing of the moment before. "I guess each time we travel we could be ending up in a different potential universe. There's no way of knowing if we are ending up in the same place we left."

"That's a bizarre thought…" Sam said, "Who knows if-" At that moment the door opened, and in walked a nurse.

"Hello there!" The woman smiled brightly, "I'm here to take care of you. Oh you poor thing." The happy nurse tutted, her eyes the direction of Samantha's injured leg. "That looks pretty nasty."

"Yeah… it definitely doesn't feel too good." Sam responded.

"Well, let's settle in and take care of the injury. Hopefully it's not too bad."

The difference between Earth medicine and Whatever-this-planet-was medicine was rather fascinating, and also disconcerting. Like the security cameras, but no television thing: there was weird gaps in technological advances. They took an xray and used a normal-enough looking thermometer. But then the doctor came in, drew a funny circle on Sam's leg and then some glowing happened. Apparently, that fixed Sam's leg, because while she was still limping a bit, she could put weight on it again. Tori shook her head, marveling at the whole craziness. Somehow, kids running up the side of buildings made more sense then this chicanery. "Well...that looks like it was weird. Did it feel weird?" she asked Sam as they slowly made their way down the hall to the hospital entrance where, theoretically, their new shiny-haired self-imposed escort waited…(Tori much preferred version one, if anyone were to ask).

"Yeah, dude. That was the strangest experience ever. It was like… tingly. The pins and needles type. You know, when your leg falls asleep?" Sam shook her leg, "Glad it's over. It was weeeeird." She glanced around at the hustle and bustle of people, "Now what shall we do while we wait? Think that super perv will mind if we sightsee?" Sam waggled her eyebrows.

Tori pursed her lips wryly. "One of these days I'm gonna take your random suggestions seriously and then we'll actually get thrown in ninja-jail."

"What's wrong with sightseeing?"

"It's the 'let's find a reason to evade the super powerful jounin we kinda owe money to' aspect of the plan that I frown on…"

"And who says we're evading? We've never been here before; we got left behind by the toad sage, and who knows if he'll be back? If he does come back, he'll most definitely find us. He's a ninja after all. One of the Sannin!"

"Yeah, so what does Sannin mean?" Tori asked, flopping herself down into a chair in the waiting room as though to demonstrate her lack of will to sight-see as it promised both potential angry ninjas as well as unnecessary exercise when they were already going to have to hike some unknown crazy distance to Konoha. "Is that like, a level above jounin? Cuz I thought that was Anbu."

Sam snorted. _Wow I do that a lot_. "Sannin literally means three people. So… he's one of the three legendary people. 'Cause 'nin' is the counter for people, and 'san' means three." In her explanation, Sam had written in the air the japanese characters for each piece of the word.

"Oh, so like some special club of legends?" Tori clarified, accepting the possibility of such a club with a nod. "So like..Shrimp Boy's group could be the Ramen Sannin."

"Hah! Nope. Not at all." Sam informed, "Basically… Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru became the three legendary people because of their shinobi skills. They defeated the Salamander from Amegakure. The Land Hidden in the Rain. So it's only specific to them."

"But like..N, S, and Sk..they become three famous peeps too. They save the village and all that… Also, I thought Orochimaru was a bad guy. Dang, I think I need a chart or something."

"Eh?" Sam stuffed her hands in her pockets, "That's true. N, S, and Sk do become pretty famous, but that's not for several years from now when another… uh, war," she whispered the terrible name, "I think we'll call that four W from now on, yeah? That's suuuuper dangerous territory right there."

Victoria looked terribly confused. "Um. I'll just not ask about future stuff 'til we get there," she determined. "Less I know the better, probably. I'd be terrible at resisting torture. Heck, I can barely resist chocolate. Or papercuts. Or making really bad puns. Truly, that's all interrogation would have to do, set up some really bad puns and I'd sing like a bird."

"But what makes you think we'll even end up somewhere in the future? What if this was the last time we moved? What if we're stuck here? Besides… I was only answering your question." Sam pouted, "N, S, and Sk don't become well-known until a future date. O - we'll call Orochimaru that - is the bad guy, so that's not wrong. Plus! We probably ought not to write anything down… well… actually… I guess we could write in English. No one knows those numeric letters, right?"

"Greco-Roman alphabet, if all we are doing is spelling," Tori corrected easily. She felt the need to prove she was smart about something at least. She always felt kinda hopeless and dumb for not being able to follow Sam's explanations. Especially when she knew Sam had told her some parts two or three times now. She fiddled with her hair. "Sorry. I'm kinda lame at remembering all this, but I'm really, really glad that you're with me in all this Sam. ..And I'm sorry I yelled and you fell out of a tree. I've kinda been a baaaaad sidekick so far today."

"Aw," Sam gave Tori a side hug, "I'm super glad we're in this together, too, Tor. And- wait. You yelled at me earlier? I have no recollection of this."

"Yeah. I was trying to wake you up so that you wouldn't fall out of the tree, but then my bark scared you so bad that...you fell out of the tree. It was..a tree-ibbile outcome." She looked up at the still-standing Sam beseechingly. "Go ahead. Call me a birch. I deserve it."

"A birch?" Sam repeated, slightly confused, until it dawned on her what Tori had said and laughed loudly, "Oh goodness, Tor… you crack me up." The scowl that the nurses gave them to be quiet cut Samantha's laugh short. "Anyway… no need to be sorry. I'm pretty sure I would've tried to wake you up too, to save you from falling out of a tree in that kind of situation. Anyone would've done it." She shrugged and finally sat down with a sigh, "Now… it's kinda boring here. We should go sightseeing! My legs all better now, so what better time!" Sam wiggled both legs as proof.

"Ugh. Why do you want to do stuff all the time?" Victoria grumbled. "Let's sit here and make tree puns instead and leaf all the adventure talk to someone else. You decided to be a main character for six hours and it got us caught in the middle of a shinobi battle, stranded up a tree, and then relying on a wild man in the forest. That's it. I'm reclaiming the title. We are going back to the shojo way of things where I make moon eyes at the pretty boys and you laugh at me. No more of this shonen nonsense."

Despite Victoria's straight-faced claims, Samantha couldn't help but laugh half-way through. "You act like I decided to fall on the wild man." She giggled, "Besides… the shojo way of things would be so _boring_. Not that I had ever intended to be in the midst of all the shonen stuff." Sam pulled out the opaque marble, "Do you think it'll leave us stranded here for good, now?"

"I like boring. Boring means no one is dying. Big fan of that." Victoria gave the marble a gimlet glare. "And that thing..I'm not a big fan of that thing. And I think you should not touch it anymore unless it promises to be a nice marble and take us back to Kakashi. Or… or home. I recognize that is the more important goal, I promise." She blushed though at the Freudian slip which betrayed her real feelings.

"Sure you do," Sam smiled knowingly. "I'm a big fan of no one dying, too. But I'm pretty sure there's no rhyme or reason why the marble glows. I mean… it started glowing last time while still in my pocket." She shrugged and pocketed the thing.

Tori frowned slightly. "Well..I wouldn't say no rhyme or reason," she said cautiously, still feeling the idea out in her head before finding the right words. "I mean..right before it did was that whole weird thing with the parchment. Like, I don't know what in the world came over me, but it seemed like it was affecting you too: it seemed crazy important that we not let Hotness run off with it, and then right after he left with it is when the ball started to glow. It's way too weird to be a coincidence. Plus, everyone knows magic comes in threes. We'll be traveling with that thing at least once more. I guarantee it."

"Magic comes in threes, but this isn't magic. It's ninjutsu!" Sam stated matter-of-fact, "So… this might be the last time we ever moved. And… I do remember something weird happening earlier, too. I mean… I don't know about you, but I heard someone telling us to stop. That was… weird. Definitely weird. It seemed to come from everywhere." Sam tapped her toes, contemplative. "What do you think that means?"

"Maybe its a ghost?" Victoria offered, taking the downtime as an opportunity to fingercomb her hair. "Or one of those mind-jutsus. Hotness didn't even seem to twitch and he's supposed to be able to see anything with his eye, right? So it's probably safe to say that whatever it was wasn't physically very near us."

"If somebody's in our head simultaneously… yeesh. That's a bit creepy. Though, they didn't feel threatening when they were speaking. Just frantic… made me feel lots of anxiety."

Tori opened her mouth to agree when she caught sight of a wild nest of white hair in the window outside. "Look, he's coming back. Do you think you could pretend the doc told ya to rest your leg for at least an hour? I bet we could sweet talk him into lunch. And after a day and night and half day again, food's the only thing that'll keep me on my feet much longer."

"Tori, I like your thinking!" Sam grinned. Jiraiya came sauntering in, a smile for the nurses plastered on his face. He stopped to flirt with them until Sam loudly cleared her throat, multiple times, before he rolled his eyes and sped in front of them.

"Ladies." Even his tone sounded like his smile, "I see you're much better. Now. Shall we get moving?"

Victoria rose and made sure to "help" Sam from her own seat. "We'll have to be careful," she said. "The doc did say Samantha should take it easy as much as she could, but of course, we don't want to slow you down, Jiraiya-San."

Jiraiya's fingers twitched, taking a long look between the two girls, his smile seeming to plaster his face. "Ah, not a problem at all. Worst case scenario, I carry Sam." He smiled more genuinely after that, "In any case, we're losing daylight. Time to go."

"But wait!" Sam caught up to the man whose large stride got him to the exit quickly. Jiraiya held the door open, his eyes following Sam as she hurried next to him, not making a move to head outside, "Tori and I were feeling hungry…"

"Sam!" Victoria literally face-palmed. "What should I expect?" she mumbled to herself, "She's a Gryffindor. They're never discreet." A little louder she said, "We know it's a lot to ask when you're already doing so much for us, but..we have no one else to turn to. And no idea how we'll make it without someone to show us how to get back to Konoha. We'll find a way to pay you back someday, we promise."

"Uh yeah, we promise!"

"We-heh-heeell," Jiraiya rose an eyebrow, his smile somehow growing wider, "I can think of some ways."

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Samantha immediately responded, "I'm afraid we don't do sexual favors."

"Are you sure? I'm quite a catch, you know." He wiggled his eyebrows at them.

"Absolutely not," Tori confirmed, and then she realized how that sounded in response to Jiraya rather than what Sam had said, "I mean, the naughty stuff. Not you, you are a fine catch, but we are ladies and we don't do anything like the women in your books, Jiraiya-San."

"Oh? So you _do_ know my work, do you?"

"Well, we've never read it ourselves, but our friend is obsessed. We know how pervy they are." Sam stated, factually.

"What! My books have absolute need for every scene I've written about." Jiraiya said with mock offense. They'd started walking outside, and Sam and Victoria followed the Sannin, hoping it was in the direction of really good food.

The heavens seemed to be smiling on Sam and Victoria that day because the typically unhelpful and self-serving shinobi seemed inclined to showing them a great deal more mercy than he ever seemed to extend to his ramen-loving student. He did buy them lunch, and after an hour or two tromping back into the forest, granted the foot-weary women a chance to break. He seemed content to perch on a log, reading through some pages of what they could only assume were his latest drafts. Victoria rubbed her aching arches with a fierce grimace, wincing a little as she bent. "Ya know, maybe I should have had the docs check out my ribs," she said to Sam. "They seemed to have done magic for your ankle and shoulder."

"Oh yeah. You feel out of a tree, too. Bummer." Sam said, thinking back, "Do your ribs hurt? Hopefully they're just bruised."

"Just when I bend or try to move too fast," Tori assured her. "And I only fell because Mr Love Sage scared me. Granted, I was probably gonna fall. I've never successfully climbed a tree up or down."

"Well this "Love Sage' saved you from a terrifying fall," the man drawled from his log across the road. He shook his bookmark at the both of them as though to emphasize his point. "Besides, having a heroic Ninja come to save the day is the stuff of books! If you read my stuff, you'd be flattered to come to that realization." He smirked as he went back to his current writings. One leg propped up on the other, the white haired Sannin began to write where he had left off.

Sam made a face at Jiraiya's matter-of-fact statement. "Like a knight in shining armor? We've got plenty stories of our own for that genre; though not with ninjas." Sam glanced at the draft sitting on Jiraiya's lap, "How often do you write, anyway?" Perhaps she could get an idea of what it was like for other authors. Especially professional ones. Her favorite author seemed to write daily, and Sam wondered if others were the same.

Jiraiya glanced up at his new blue-haired 'hostage', contemplatively, "I generally write whenever I have inspiration. A daily occurrence, really. Always good to keep my materials with me. My special research especially helps with inspiration," he giggled, "You could always be a part of my book if you wanted."

His suggestive tone left Sam grimacing once again, "No thanks."

Jiraiya shrugged, "Your loss, then. What about you?" He turned to Victoria.

Victoria snorted and rolled her eyes. "I don't think I'm the type of person that anyone would want to read a - a _that_ kind of story about." She laughed a little darkly. Shaking her head again, Tori went back to rubbing her sore feet, frowning slightly at her wide soles and cankles. She usually was totally fine with her weight, having accepted it as a part of her present as well as her past, but some days were hard. ..Like the thought of a random stranger judging her and trying to describe her when all he could really know was what she looked like. People just were so quick to only see the surface and their own misconceptions would fill in the gaps before she ever had a chance to really show them who _she_ was. "But you could toss me in for some comic relief, sure," she offered. "Make sure it uses lots of silly puns."

"And don't forget the bestie who cackles at it all!" Sam chimed in with a wink. Jiraiya started at the two women, slightly surprised.

"Well, if you really want me to," he said with a mischievous wink. Then went back to his writing, leaving the two girls almost bored sitting there.

Sam huffed out a sigh, leaning back on her palms, watching Jiraiya contemplatively once again. _If we make it back to Konoha, I wonder how Kakashi will actually react. Would he think we were spies? Hm… I hope not._ She bit her lip, scrutinizing their, in all technical terms, captor. _We'd be way too slow to get away from him…_ Looking around at their surroundings, Sam found no possible way to escape without being easily caught. But… did they _really_ want to escape? Jiraiya turned his writings to the next page, picking up his bookmark as he shuffled everything around. The sight of the bookmark caused Sam to furrow her brow, something feeling oddly familiar about that particular piece of parchment. She nudged Victoria, nodding her head in its direction, trying not to alert Jiraiya of her suspicions.

Victoria looked up from her feet and tilted her head. There was something weirdly familiar about the torn edge of the paper that Jiraiya was brandishing about. " _Get it,"_ something inside her hissed and she rose to her feet, shoes forgotten. With the same weird lack of control that she had felt chasing Kakashi across the clearing the night before, Victoria took an unconscious half-step across the wide margin of the roadway, hardly noticing the fact that Sam was right on her heels. _Hold your horses, Victoria Guinevere Lexington,_ she mentally scolded herself back. _What exactly is your plan here? Are you gonna just try the grab and run thing? You saw how well that went yesterday. Now think about this!_ Her brain, so quick to summon useless trivia, punctuation rules, or song lyrics spun its gears and spouted absolutely nothing out. But the need to try was worse than any itch. She and Sam found themselves across the road and peering over the shinobi's shoulder. "So..are these drafts?" Victoria asked lamely. Her eyes really though were peering at the scrap dangling from his other hand: it was an old, old piece of paper - well, parchment rather, the color of tea stains. Ancient creases and wrinkles marred its surface, but she could spot the same wiggly, curvy lines and calligraphic characters that had been on the piece they found from the Forbidden Scroll. This piece though was clearly different. The one from last night had been as wide as her hand and almost triangular. This was a thinner but much longer strip. Her fingertips tingled as she just held in the urge to snatch it.

Jiraiya hummed his confirmation that he was writing a rough draft for his series, staring intently at where he had left off, as if he hadn't recognized the presence of Victoria and Samantha peering intently over his shoulder. Instead, he jotted something else down, then smirked. "You two, ah, wanting a sneak peek of the Great Toad Sage Jiraiya's upcoming _Makeout Tactics_ , eh?" He turned his head to look at both of them. "Well! If you'd like, I could read it to you and perhaps you'd like to demonstrate some of my awesomeness live, hm?"

"Ew! No." Sam grimaced, "But I am impressed by your work. This is what? Your fourth? Fifth volume?"

"Fourth!" Jiraiya announced proudly, "Don't you girls just feel lucky that you're in the presence of an amazing author? Would you like my autograph?"

"That'd be awesome!" Samantha cried out, jovially, an idea popping to mind. "It'd be even more awesome if it was on a piece of paper that you own. Like, even that bookmark! That would really be a dream come true." She reached out, feeling an incessant need to be in contact with the parchment: to have possession of it, when Jiraiya suddenly laughed and effectively closed the book, his "bookmark" saving his spot.

"You ladies deserve something far more grand than an old bookmark!" He got up and headed to his sack that he brought with him.

Samantha, feeling suddenly frantic, whispered to Victoria, "I'll distract him, you snatch that bookmark!"

Tori nodded firmly and casually made sure to position herself within easy reach of the bookmark. Sam's method of distraction was to talk Jiraiya's ear off about her own ideas about writing. Sam was always good for a rant! Tori watched carefully and at what she judged to be just the right moment, she pinched the edge of the bookmark and pulled it free as quick as she could. Of course, that was not quick enough for a shinobi. She didn't have even a chance to tuck it up a sleeve or into her skirt pocket before Jiraya's dark eyes stabbed into hers. "I don't believe that's yours," he drawled.

"Um, I just wanted to look at it a bit more," Tori said swiftly. "It looks really old and interesting. My grandfather collects artifacts and he's always talking about how its the forgotten pieces that have the most history." She held the parchment very firmly, but tried to seem as unconcerned and casual as she could in the midst of her giant lie. Some part of her was a bit disturbed at how easily the lies had started to come to her once they were in Konoha. "It seems pretty old. How did you come by it?"

"I don't believe that's any of your business." Jiraiya stated calmly, a hand held out to receive his property back. "Now if you please, I was using that for my bookmark."

"Ah, c'mon! If it's as old as Tor said, I'd love to know more about it! History is fascinating!" Samantha tried to persuade.

"Sorry. No can do. Now… I don't want to get aggressive, but if you force my hand, I will have to."

Victoria's eyes went very wide, as much out of curiosity as a little healthy fear. She started to extend the bookmark back to him when her elbows unexpectedly locked: her arms and fingers freezing. "Jiraiya-San, I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me and Sam and I really will find a way to pay you back someday. So please forgive me for this." Tori whirled and started to run as best and quick as she could, shoving the parchment down her her shirt to rest over her heart that pounded harshly in terror.

Samantha quickly ran after Victoria, "Sorry!" She yelled behind her to Jiraiya, "We will definitely pay you back, someday!" And off they were! It was just a pity that they were up against one of the greatest Ninja around. One of the Legendary Sannin. It was a wonder that the two girls even thought that they had a fighting chance. Samantha and Victoria ran as fast as they could, which was actually quite quick for women who weren't actively in shape, but that victory lasted a moment. Jiraiya shouted something that would have been familiar to Samantha if she was really paying attention to his words and so, it was with shock and surprise that they were suddenly grabbed and pulled to a halt by some huge, sticky thing. It was like a huge, weird, grayish-pink python: the thing was warm, and it was wet, and it twisted tightly around her: pinning Sam's arms to her sides.

"Gleughhh!" Tori shrieked beside her. "Ew! Ew! Sam, what is it?" Victoria was captured, too, by the huge pink thing and she was thrashing back and forth to try to get out of its slippery coils. Samantha realized after a second that the weird bumps dotting the sides looked just like tastebuds. _Is this a tongue?_ Sam breathed in sharply at the thought and was nearly overwhelmed by the nastiness of the stench: like someone had shoved her head into a bucket of dead, decaying earthworms.

"I think I'm gonna barf," Samantha made sure not to breath in through her nose.

""HHRRRRRrrrrrrrrrbbit!"

With a sense of dread, Samantha tried to look behind her, gooey, saliva-choked hair sticking against her neck and all. Her hat, thankfully, did not get encompassed in the slime of the thing which they now knew was a toad. A very large, very yellow, very bug-eyed toad. "This is disgusting," She muttered again.

"Oh gross! Oh gross!" Tori moaned. "I'm sorry, but this is so, so gross!"

It was then, that Jiraiya popped into view.

"That was a valiant effort, ladies. But you should have known to never go against someone as great as I!" He puffed up his chest a moment, before plucking the piece of parchment from where it still peeked out of the top of Victoria's dress. "I'll take this, thank you." He grimaced at the slime that it, too, had been covered in, before sighing and pulling out a scroll and sealing the parchment away. "Now, tell me who you really are and why did you want my bookmark?" He placed his hands on his hips, scrutinizing the two, slobbery-goo covered women.

"Well, you see, it's because-!" Samantha's remark was stunned to silence when a white light burst from Samantha's pocket, sharing its brilliance _through_ the tongue that circled the Sam and Tori tightly. "Oh no." Sam lamented.

"Is that the stupid marble again?" Tori shouted: she clearly was not handling the toad-tongue thing very well. "I am this close to saying a _really_ bad word!"

"Hrrunngh?" their toad captor ribbited in worried confusion as the marble began to pulse; more more quickly than it had the night before or even that fateful first day in the garden.

"What's going on! What's glowing?" Jiraiya shouted, his eyes narrowed even tinier than they already had been; suspicion on high alert. Samantha looked guiltily at the man.

"We'll tell you someday!" She promised in vain hope. She knew his fate. Not very pleasant, but ultimately worthy of an awesome warrior like him. "Don't worry, Tor! We'll… uh…" _Will we be okay? Oh crap, I really hope we don't die. I just got better!_ The toad seemed to be likewise worried, because his grip on them both suddenly tightened a lot. Victoria screamed in sudden pain. _Oh man! Tori's ribs!_ Samantha's internal panic had her trying to turn towards Victoria, but the toad's hold on them was now too tight to allow any movement at all. And then she was trying to call out to Tori even as Jiraiya yelled commands at his toad, and Sam felt the pocket pulse frantically against her thigh like it always did just before everything went dark. Was this going to be it? Would it take just her and leave Victoria? There was no way to get to the marble; no way to reach her friend. Sam felt the blackness rushing too quickly for her with the unstoppable force of a tsunami and there was nowhere to go and absolutely nothing Sam could do. It crashed into her and all she could do was pray.

* * *

 **A/N: What's up Fanfic readers! Here we are... back again with _another_ fabulous chapter. How'd you like Seeing Jiraiya? He's always been such a character, no? Hehe love him. Even though RoyalVicTorie still has to know the awesomeness that is Jiraiya. She still has a lot to learn about how awesome even Itachi is... but don't worry, my fellow Naruto readers! RoyalVicTorie has officially begun to watch the Naruto anime! (unfortunately, fillers and all). So she's finally learning how amazing this world is, and learning to love the character's we're writing about. Gotta tell ya... before RoyalVicTorie knew of the greatness of this series, I would tell her stuff because I didn't think she'd actually start watching the show (because believe me, I had tried). And so, after she began watching it, was re-reading some of this story and she was like "WHAT! The Hokage dies!" because she apparently hadn't gotten that far in the anime and had _completely_ forgotten that I'd told her this information. hahahaha it was just so hilarious to see her freak out over information she'd actually already known. Oh goodness. RoyalVicTorie is awesome xD Anyway...**

 **Please Read and Review! We love you! :D (and they always make our day)**


	7. Chapter 7

**That It's Hard To Know Who To Trust**

The startling realization that the horrendous smell stinking up her nose senses was what caused Samantha's jolt to awareness, and caused an almost instant gagging feeling in her throat. The gooey slime of toad saliva clung to her body like gum to a shoe, and Samantha scrunched up her nose in disgust. She found herself lying on her back, and felt almost afraid to sit up and feel the oozing slime cling to her like it's non-existent life depended on it. Not even her eyes wanted to succumb to their readiness to take on the world. So, Sam brought a hand to her face, rubbing her eyes from their sleepful state, only to realize the skunk smelling saliva simply spread it's scent, rather than shake off her face. An image of mud clinging to her eyebrows nearly made Sam snort, when a shuffling sound was heard. Samantha quickly shot her gooey eyes open, and noticed the hardness beneath her was a lumpy ground with the smell of trees and dust; Victoria and the toad lay out cold next to her in a similar position. This had been, by far, their worst transport.

With the oncomings of a headache beginning to take form, Sam sat up, a palm against her forehead despite the gunk that covered her. (And how it managed to cover her entire body, Sam would never know. Hopefully she'd be able to get it out of her clothes! Did ninjas have good detergent? Kakashi had previously been doing their laundry. Or rather, demanded their cleanliness and insisted on making sure to wash their clothes while they had been changing into ninja clothing. With his preternatural sense of smell...she couldn't exactly blame him. They were pretty rank that first day.)

Sam glanced around her, confused. They'd landed in what seemed to be a deserted area with… she blinked in surprise. Trains? Or rather, trams? _Wait… why does that seem so familiar?_ She thought, straining to think after their ordeal. It was night outside, stars twinkling above, the small alcove of trees surrounding the outskirts of the tracks allowed some light from the moon to illuminate dimly their surroundings. On top of the gooey gunk from the toad tongue, dirt decided to cling to the goo as well. Sam tried her best to wipe herself off, wondering when Tor would wake up when hushed sounds from behind Samantha made her ears perk.

She turned herself around and noticed, underneath one of the sitting train boxes, several pairs of feet. The light of the moon giving up the darkness of their forms. Samantha's heart stilled, yet pounded, when she realized they weren't alone.

"...e supposed to do now?" An irritated girl's voice asked.

"I didn't know it would bring 'em, here!" A defensive boy declared.

"I thought we had a plan." A new voice chimed in, nonchalant.

"We barely had a plan!" The irate girl proclaimed.

"Well it's not _my_ fault! It's not like we could have predicted this!" The defensive boy griped, irritation also filling his tone.

"What we _should have done_ is-" The girl began,

" _Don't_ say we should have brought our parents into this! You _know_ they'd never have allowed this," The defensive boy cut the irate girl off.

"She's right, brother. Maybe we should have asked someone for help." A new, younger girl's voice replied, seemingly apologetic. The defensive boy - apparently the older brother to the younger girl, groaned.

"Not you too!" he cried out in what sounded like defeat. "You both _know_ why we couldn't have them help out."

Listening in on their conversation, Samantha wanted to giggle, but at the same time, had no desire to catch their attention. The young voices could've been anything but. Sam didn't want to find out if she was correct in her assumptions. So… she instead prodded VIctoria to try and wake her dead asleep friend.

"Psst… Tor!" Sam poked, "Tor, wake up!" As discreetly as she tried to wake her friend, apparently she was not quiet enough. This was evident when she heard the dispassionate voice chime in.

"I believe our friends have woken up." And the next thing Sam knew, she was staring into the face of the golden-eyed, white-skinned boy who looked nearly exact to Mitsuki. Except, older. Even his clothes were the different shades of blue that he so often wore in the newer anime! Though there were some deviations to that outfit. Only slight, however. The belt was thicker. His kimono hung longer, while his more toned and muscled arms no longer were overwhelmed by the length of his sleeves. All in all, his outfit seemed to proclaim his confidence in himself.

The intensity he exhumed compiled with the suddenness of his appearance nearly two inches away from her face made Sam shout out and jump backwards: grimacing as new clumps of dirt stuck to her body.

"Mitsuki!" The defensive boy's shout came, and suddenly appeared next to the first boy who Sam could now confirm was Mitsuki. Sam stared, wide eyed, at the carbon copy of someone she'd met about a week ago, or so. Except, he, too, was older. Like the beginning of the very first episode of Boruto. His face had lost the baby fat: the two scars on each cheek looked like just that, scars, and there was another in the mix. Slashed right down his right eye which coincided with his horizontally slashed headband that had the obvious Konoha symbol etched onto the metal plate. He'd scrapped the white shirt and black and red coat for a black and red shirt (similar in pattern to Naruto's jacket in Shippuden era) and a black coat, ripped to nearly the elbow on his right arm. He still wore black pants which were sucked to his shins by bandages that led into his ninja shoes. A katana was sheathed on his left side, indicative of familiarity.

Confidence and experience in his eyes foretold of the hardship of his life. It was almost intimidating to stare into those blue, blue eyes. The boy, no, teenager - which Sam knew with absolute certainty was Boruto, sighed in exasperation, ruffling a hand through his hair. Victoria began the stirrings of waking up and Sam's heart nearly jumped with relief. At least she'd be able to notice the disbelief of being in the presence of Naruto's son! Not to mention Orochimaru's! The idea made her shudder. Then as quick as Boruto and Mitsuki appeared, two more females shinobi'd themselves into place. It happened seemingly within the span of a couple seconds and as soon as they were standing there, scrutinizing Samantha and Victoria, Sam knew exactly who they were. There was enough evidence that she could not deny what she was seeing. Standing next to Boruto was, without a doubt, his younger sister Himawari looking far more grown up than she'd been in the anime, and next to her, Sarada. Just as grown up as the others. Her form was more filled out, and her hair was past the middle of her back. She still wore the red glasses, but her eyes held the same confidence and hardness as Boruto's. Especially with an activated sharingan.

Sam blew out a breath.

"Tor. Tor!" Sam shook Tori's leg, the closest part of Tor's body that Sam found herself next to.

Unconsciousness was a deep, dark pit that for once seemed safer and more comforting than the light of reality that Victoria could feel approaching. The darkness was quiet and empty. Reality was gonna be noisy and hard and it would hurt. But it was coming anyways. The sound of Sam's panicked voice yanked her the last way up and out of oblivion. And then Sam shook her leg and Tori felt her whole head split in pain at the unexpected touch. She hissed and flinched away, hands going straight to her aching head where a damp stickiness (that felt somehow different from the toad spit coating the rest of her) and throbbing lump explained the lovely new migraine. Through watering eyes, she could just make out the form of a railroad tie bar running past one shoulder: she must have hit her head when they dropped. Her breath caught harshly as the ache around her ribs made itself just as painfully known with each sharp breath.

"Hng!" She whimpered. "Ehn.. Oh, no, I don't want to." Sam's hands stopped shaking her leg, and Tori clenched her fists tightly as the screaming pain in her skull dulled slightly. Moving as little as possible, she braved trying another full breath. Going slower seemed to help, but she was worried that her ribs were more than merely bruised. "Oh man, that hurts."

Gingerly, she uncurled her fingers from her bloody hair trying to take stock of things. Headache: awful but better when she didn't move. Skull itself: no longer bleeding but wicked goose-egg. Ribs: super sore, breathing sucks but survivable. Other limbs: sore especially left shoulder that probably hit the railroad tie too. Feet: cold? Oh yeah. Some idiot Tori of the hour before had left her shoes by a boulder before confronting Pervy Sage about the inexplicably important paper scrap. And everything felt nasty: like she had taken a horrible nightmare-filled nap in a box of dirty, sweaty gym clothes on the back of a school bus in mid-August. Yes, exactly that awful and smelly. "Oh, Sam, please let me die now.." she breathed, carefully trying to rub away the pain in her aching shoulder while not getting her hands even grosser with the spit-dust-mud on her poor dress. At least the light wasn't blinding: the real world was all dusky twilight. And since she could mostly see, there wasn't a reason to feel for her glasses: they must have miraculously stayed on.

Samantha snorted her laughter, despite her racing heart. After all, it wasn't every day you met the second generation of shinobi that you admired so much! Who knew that was even possible? Scratch that. Who knew it was even possible to dimension hop in the first place?

"Uh, Tor? We've got company." She pointed to the four teenage shinobi staring at them blandly. Well, except Mitsuki. His gaze was a mixture of perhaps curiosity and intensity.

Victoria shot a trepidatious look over and then returned her gaze to Sam. "No," she protested weakly, "I do not want to do this again. No more magic ninja stuff. No more painful drops from the sky and no, no more having to meet new, beautiful, younger-than-me people who wanna kill us. That's it. I'm done. Jesus needs to take me home now."

"I don't think we've got a choice." Sam stated with a sigh, beginning to run a hand through her hair until it got stuck not only from her hat, but the gooey slime of saliva saturating her hair. "Besides… they called us 'friends'. Maybe they've got an idea what's going on?" Sam looked at the teens with an expectant look, noticing the blatant stares of the teens before them. Boruto, stance wide with arms folded against his chest, heaved a sigh himself.

"I guess we've got no choice but to let them in on what's going on." He grumbled, a slight pout maring his features for only a fraction. Heaving another sigh, Boruto massaged his temple with one hand.

"Ne, ne? Are you sure we should tell them? We've not even told Shikadai's father yet," Sarada questioned, her brow furrowed. Her eyes staying the same blood red of the sharingan (or was it the mangekyo now? Her eyes seemed creepier than the just the three tomoe of the sharingan).

"Well, what else do you suggest we do?"

"Good point," Sarada reasoned. Boruto then introduced the group, first pointing to himself with his thumb before listing everyone's names.

"The name's Uzumaki Boruto. This here is my little sis, Himawari. That's Uchiha Sarada, and this guy next to me is Mitsuki."

"Boruto?" Victoria blurted, shock making her strained features even paler. "There's no way you're even born yet. Unless we went..." Realizing what she was saying through the pounding of her head, Tori frowned and winced. They were supposed to be being careful. But she was starting to wonder what the point was since anytime things got dicey the whole world flipped around and they started over. Maybe full honesty would be best, but.. _ugh! I can't make sense of anything any more!_ "What the heck is going on? Where are we? And what day is it?"

"Unless you went from the past into the future?" Sarada supplied, "Well… you'd be right." Her confirmation was enough to make Sam's eyes widen. Her heart pounded even harder in her chest as she glanced between the shinobi. Himawari smiled at the two women, sending reassuring glances their way as if hoping that they'd not be as frightened as dimension time-travelling seriously was. How the young, wide-eyed, blue-haired shinobi was able to ease the tension that seemed to rise in the air was beyond Samantha. Perhaps she'd inherited a form of the talk-no-jutsu? _Yup. That's probably it. Talk-no-jutsu, just to make us comfortable enough to let our guard down._

"So… if we're really in the future… how'd that happen? Was it you guys, then, that brought us here? How? Why? What are you wanting us to do? Why pick us?" The questions spilled out of her mouth, but once they began, Sam thought they'd never stop.

"...Well, you see… that's kind of a bit of a long story." Boruto laughed apologetically, rubbing an arm behind his back.

"A long story? I'm all for knowing what that is." Sam lifted a hand, watching Victoria out of the corner of her eye. Her friend seemed more tired than usual upon waking, but for the life of her, Samantha couldn't remember why. Something about the toad… her eyes glanced at the still unconscious amphibian. Poor thing. Wrong place, wrong time. _I wonder if its toad friends would know that it's here with us. And alive too._ Her thoughts rambled on before she realized that her mind had drifted off from the moment at hand.

The four teenagers seemed to be silently debating who would talk. Something about the looks exchanged was unsettling. Knowing that nothing was going to be improved by her staying sprawled where she was, Victoria slowly pushed herself up to sitting despite the pain in her ribs, pressing her palm against her aching side. "And please," Tori added tiredly, "For the love of heaven, just tell us the truth. Whatever that means to you."

Boruto scrutinized them, a small pout of indignation taking form onto his face. He glanced at Sarada, who was also scrutinizing the two women, before sighing. She waved a hand into the air, "Go on then." Her response, directed at Boruto, was dispassionate. Behind her red glasses, the young woman's eyes seemed strained: bruises darkened the skin beneath the unsettling red of her sharingan.

The exaggerated sigh the blond shinobi gave out was almost comical. It was quite clear the teenager had no desire to explain the situation, but given the circumstances, it was the better option. _It looks like we've stumbled onto more than our pickings of pumpkins._ Sam thought, her own eyes narrowed in return.

"Fine..." Boruto finally said aloud, looking the two women in the face. "I'm not sure you've really been able to notice," he began, gesturing around him, "But this is Konoha. In the future, so to speak. Well… the future from where you were just at. Agh! I hate time travel," Boruto muttered the last sentence. "Anyway, this is the actual present. You've been in the past, because… well… it was on accident."

"On accident," Samantha repeated, unamused by the phrase, even if Boruto's way of explaining left her wanting to giggle. He really wasn't doing well with his way of words. She gave Tori a look.

Victoria frowned back in response to Sam. Her head was pounding or she would have picked apart the theoretics of time travel. Right now, she just wanted to know what was happening today. Yesterday would wait. "Let's focus on just - just right now," she said, gesturing for Boruto to get back on topic.

"My brother isn't explaining this very well," Himawari opted in, ignoring Boruto's 'Hey!' as she did so.

"What my comrade is trying to say," Sarada drawled, "is that Konoha was attacked. The attacker was very powerful, and Lord Seventh - well, you might know him as Uzumaki Naruto - stepped in to counter this auspicious foe." Samantha's eyes began to widen with recognition as the youngest Uchiha clan member told their harrowing tale. This was familiar. Recently so. The Boruto anime had only been out for a short time, but Sam would never forget the beginning scene of the first episode of the anime and the beginning pages of the manga. A destroyed Konoha. It looked worse than the Pein arc (but that could've been because during the Pein arc, there was a giant hole with no place for toppled buildings).

"They fought tooth and nail. Even Lord Sixth came to help out!" Sarada continued, perhaps aware of the recognition flowing in Sam's mind but not feeling the need to acknowledge such awareness. "Kawaki. That's the name of the formidable shinobi. He's the one who started this war on our home. He was working with others in a major plot to destroy Konoha and in the process.. well… this is where we need you to come in."

Tori's gaze narrowed. "Where _you_ need _us_ to come in?" she asked, just barely holding her incredulity in check. She frowned at the evasive teenagers. "Let's just forget even for a moment that we are not exactly useful warriors here, but how do you explain _why_ we would even be interested in risking our lives for something going on here?"

The youngest teen stepped forward a little. Himawari's light eyes seemed to plead for them to hear the four of them out. "Please. Just listen," she prompted. "While the Leaf Village was under attack, Kawaki used a jutsu against our father: Uzumaki Naruto, the Seventh Hokage."

Boruto's fists clenched tightly together as he admitted, "The jutsu made my father disappear. But not just him. Kawaki and Kakashi Ojii-san. They disappeared too." Himawari stepped closer, placing her hand on his shoulder in quiet support.

Victoria's heart flip-flopped. Stupid heart. "Disappeared?" she breathed.

"How did you even come to that conclusion?" Samantha asked, genuinely curious as to how they could possibly know that Naruto and Kakashi weren't dead. Especially if they weren't in the midst of that fight.

"We're shinobi," Boruto deadpanned, as if it were the most obvious thing that should have occurred to the two girls.

"Do you know where they went?" Victoria interrupted, "How are you planning to get them back?" She struggled to stand up, but managed to get more or less upright with the help of Sam and the metal bar jutting from the side of the railroad car behind them. "What are you doing?"

"Yeah, and how are we supposed to help?" Sam questioned. The shinobi seemed very good at diverting that question. Based on the way they all awkwardly looked at each other, it seemed like maybe that was because they didn't actually have an answer yet.

"Ah, well, you see-" Boruto began sheepishly.

"It was never supposed to be you that we brought back." Mitsuki spoke up for the first time during the explanations.

"What do you mean? We're here, aren't we?" Sam bit her lip, confused. Obviously they had made it to the Naruto universe, so there had to be a reason, right? It was simply ridiculous that they never _meant_ to bring two civilian women from their home and to a different dimension to chase after who knew what.

"You see… we have this theory that… that my father and Kakashi Ojii-san are still alive but… not in our world. We were able to trace their chakra to what we've learned is your dimension. Your world." Himawari chimed in, holding a fist close to her heart. She looked so much like Hinata it was uncanny, though she held herself with more confidence than the anime portrayed Hinata. "S-so we were hoping to bring them back here. To us."

Finally, finally it seemed to sink in for Samantha that it had really all been an accident. That they were never supposed to be here in the first place. That it was perhaps due to lack of experience and possibly chakra ( _yay for paying attention to Naruto! This wouldn't make much sense otherwise_ Sam's thoughts laughed at herself) which caused a mistake to happen.

Victoria gave a mirthless laugh. "So, my anime-crush is literally walking around our world, and I'm stuck here with the giant frogs and the blisters and the terribleness? That's so ironic I wanna cry." She shook her head and then groaned when that made her skull throb with pain.

Sam shook her own head at Tori's ridiculousness and unconsciously adopted her heroic stance: both hands fisted at her hips, her shoulders thrown back, chin up. "So… what do you want us to do, then?" Sam scrutinized the four solemn figures. Despite their young ages, Samantha was impressed how calm and collected they had been when retelling the events of their village's destruction. _Good ol' shinobi training, I tell ya._ Sam's mind wandered, briefly looking at Victoria who was waiting with as much anticipation as Samantha for what they were aiming to accomplish.

"Wait," Tori said, "You said you were hoping to get them back. But you didn't. You got us! But. Then, how were we getting yanked around to like Jiraiya and then here? Did you guys do that too?"

"Yup," Boruto replied, "That was me." He rummaged in his pants pocket before pulling out a familiar looking object: the marble. Samantha immediately shot her hand into her own pocket, only to pull out her own exact copy of the inanimate object. "We've been able to transport you to where you'll find a piece of parchment that are, apparently, in different points in time. We need you to gather and hold onto them until we can bring you back to our time."

Tori and Sam exchanged a look of surprise and then immediate understanding. "The parchment!" they said simultaneously. "Friggin' parchment almost killed us," Victoria growled. "Wait, so the weird voice in our heads, compulsion to chase after it - you guys?"

Laughing awkwardly, the blond boy rubbed the back of his head in a move extremely reminiscent of his father. "Yeah…"

"Why?" Sam demanded.

"Because!" Boruto said, exasperated. He looked to Sarada for a little help in his frazzled state.

"We can't really say. At least... Not until we have all the pieces gathered together." Sarada pushed her glasses up higher on her nose, watching Victoria and Samantha intently.

"But can't you give us a little nibble to chew on?" Samantha pleaded.

Victoria placed her hand on Sam's arm, halting her. "Sam, I don't think they can. It's time travel, remember? Paradoxes and alternate timelines and inevitability factors. If they try to explain what we have to do, our own attempts to fulfill it might sabotage things. It's probably better that we don't know everything."

"Screw paradoxes!" Sam's eyes glinted, feeling a tinge of irritation. A flaw of hers, apparently. Sam was never good at being in the dark. "I mean, we're fighting for your sake. It's uncool to not let us know all the details. We're not shinobi like you so-"

"Exactly. You're not shinobi. You have even less need to know all the facts than a normal genin squad." Mitsuki's point was direct and almost insulting.

"Yeah, well… we don't follow the same rules as you. We've got our independence. Livelihood. Families. There's a lot at stake for us."

"Although not if we don't get back home," Victoria said tiredly. "Which means since only you guys can move us, we are stuck doing what you ask."

Samantha eyed Victoria, though irritated, she was also worried for her friend. Tori seemed to be growing more tired as time passed. Still, it didn't make her statement any less true.

"That's right. Only we have the ability to get you home so-"

"So if you have that ability, why not send us home and bring back your dad and Kakashi?" Sam interjected. She was also tired, and growing grumpier as they talked. _Sleep. I definitely need some sleep. No… rest. I need rest. Oi… my eyes are tired._ Boruto's shoulders sagged warily as he began to answer Samantha's question.

"Unfortunately, there's some extenuating factors that we need to have before we can do what you suggest," Sarada stated. _Man… for being awesome ninja, they sure are stingy in the information they give out_ Sam pouted to herself.

"The parchment scraps being one of them?" Victoria sighed and leaned against the rough, wooded side of the train car that was helping her keep upright. Sarada's nod both answered the question and made it clear that the young shinobis were not going to give much more. "Okay then. We can help gather those for you but we have some demands of our own in return."

"We do?" Samantha gave the tiniest of whispers. At Victoria's slight nod, Samantha emphasized Victoria's statement. "Yeah we do! We've got some demands."

All four shinobi raised their eyebrows in a nearly synchronized manner. If it hadn't been for Tori's surprise statement, Sam would've thought they had planned the action.

"Okay… we'll see if we can accommodate you," Boruto offered, waiting. He folded his arms, a stern 'get on with it' look on his face.

"We need supplies," Victoria declared first. "Clothing, food, and money that would be appropriate for the time periods you send us to. And something to defend ourselves with. Also," she pointed to the poor toad that was still totally unconscious, "I didn't like having to fight with someone who is an ally so please turn off the compulsion thing. It's really creepy."

"Ah," Boruto rubbed the back of his head, sheepishly. "Sorry. Because we hadn't been able to talk to you, we needed to make sure you knew you had to grab the parchment paper."

"That's Boruto for you," Sarada sighed with a tiny shrug.

"I feel like I keep getting picked on," Boruto muttered with a pout, "Who was the one who helped save the shinobi world?"

"I think that would be your dad." Sarada smirked.

"No respect," Boruto sighed, before turning his attention to Sam and Victoria once again. "I can't make any promises on the compulsion. That's directly related to my own personal feelings on the matter. But when it comes to supplies… I think we can handle that!"

"Yeah! I'm sure mom won't mind us borrowing some of her things," Himawari chimed in, happily.

"But… in that sense.. How? Isn't your home destroyed?" Sam asked, because, well, war in Konoha. Obviously. Himawari smiled, her cheeks going all the way up to her sparkling blue eyes. She made a hand sign - _I wish I had memorized just what signs they made for everything,_ Sam thought briefly as she watched the younger Uzumaki child - and _poof_ , a scroll appeared out of thin air. Samantha blinked in awe as Himawari then proceeded to open it up and made another hand sign before placing her hand onto the scroll. A couple things poofed into her arms including a pouch with what looked to be kunai protruding from it, a shirt that matched the one Himawari was wearing, and what looked like an orange jacket. Samantha's eyes widened a little.

"Wait… isn't that orange jacket Naruto's?"

"Yeah. I know how special it is to him, so I swiped it before things got too crazy in the village." Himawari's smile was contagious. Boruto humphed a smile, placing a hand on his little sister's head.

"You really do know Dad quite well," he said as Himawari shrugged a little, then he looked at Sam and Tor once more.

"See? We've got everything covered. We're shinobi. It's what we do."

Victoria mentally sighed at the hopeful-eyed Himawari whose helpful supplies appeared to be healthy tween sized hoodies. _Oh well. At least they are trying._ _Even if there's no way on earth those would fit me. Maybe Sam.._ "We also need a little recovery time before we go out again," she said, gingerly pressing her hand against one side of her aching ribs. "We've been going for nearly 48 hours now without really sleeping, I need some painkiller, and we both are covered in toad slime. Anything you can do about that?" Tori was aware that she sounded pretty curt but this was as diplomatic and tactful as she could manage under all the terribleness of the day and how her head was throbbing. They were lucky really. She could feel her patience fraying and unraveling like Sasuke's cursemark seal.

"Ne, Boruto." Sarada turned to Boruto, " What do you think?" The boy in question contemplated the situation, no doubt thinking of places of rest and recuperation. Whether they even had a place for Sam and Tori to stay was the unspoken question. Oddly, Mitsuki began to speak when he was immediately interrupted by the massive toad that had gotten caught in the time travel.

"Hrrrrrbt!" The poor thing jolted awake, looking around frantically. At first, it whirled on the two women, staring at them with crazed eyes, before looking around at its surroundings.

"Um… It's okay… uh… Mister Toad," Samantha began, stepping towards the toad with placating hands. The toad however, kept its frantic search, ribbeting loudly. Its body was so large that the ground shook slightly because of its heavy weight.

"What the-!" Boruto growled out, "Toad-san! Stop! You're gonna give away our position!" Boruto made the hand sign for his shadow clone jutsu, while Mitsuki stepped out, throwing his arms to wrap around the toad to stop its panicked rampage. His efforts, however, frightened the toad more, and it squibbled and squabled and went into the defense. Himawari stepped in front of Samantha and Victoria, while Sarada and Boruto joined the fray to quiet the poor creature.

"Don't hurt him!" Samantha shouted out over the rough noise of the buzzing ribbet sounds.

"Don't worry, Samantha-san. Nii-san is very good at what he does. He'll be able to stop this toad in no time!" Himawari had turned to them, informing them of the very well rounded team seven's abilities.

"Without hurting him?" Sam asked, nervously licking her lips. _The poor thing!_ If only there was something Sam or Tori could do for the big creature.

Himawari opened her mouth to respond when suddenly, the shaking ground stopped, and Boruto's "kusō" could be heard in the background: several _poofs_ were heard before all noise was effectively snuffed out. All pairs of eyes were on team seven, wondering just what, exactly, happened, when someone walked out of the shadows of the unworking box train. Samantha's jaw dropped, as the pineapple shaped hair and green cream shirt teenager came into view, His hands were held in a jutsu obviously known by none other than the Nara clan. He looked so much like Shikamaru, that Samantha would have thought it was him, except for how young the shinobi looked. _That's… that's Shikadai! Shikamaru's son!_ Sam thought, continuously surprised by how many characters from the Naruto-verse were proven real. Shikadai smirked as his fellow shinobi recognized him.

"It was a drag, but the sounds that this frog were making needed to be stopped. It made a _lot_ of noise. My dad seemed suspicious."

"Ah, heh. Sorry, Shikadai," Boruto said, sheepishly. The next heir to the Nara clan looked over at Sam and Tori, an eyebrow raising.

"I take it the cause of the disturbance would be due to these three?" he stated in less than a question and more of an observation.

"Yeah… There were some complications."

"Obviously."

"Um… hi?" Sam said, hesitantly raising one hand in their now trademark greeting. Shikadai contemplated their existence for a moment, before sighing and then glaring at Boruto.

"Sorry," Boruto said again, "They uh… came here on accident."

"On accident?" Shikadai sighed, "Can't say I'm surprised. But we better make sure not to let the adults know. This is not an issue they'd approve of, I don't think."

"But, they need a place to stay," Himawari piped up, her brow furrowed in worry. "Brother, where will they stay? And she looks like she could use a medic-nin." Himawari pointed towards Victoria.

"Painkillers at least," Tori affirmed, under her breath muttering to herself so only Sam would hear, "Some knucklehead dropped us out of a tree and then onto a railroad track.." in a more normal voice, she waved a hand at the new teenager. "I'm guessing he is a compatriot in arms on the secret project?"

"That's Shikadai, Shikamaru's son!" Samantha offered quietly, not taking her eyes off the shinobi.

"Shikamaru..." Tori shook her slightly to indicate she didn't recognize the name from Sam's attempts to explain the major events of the universe. "Is he generally trustworthy?"

"Yeah. Most definitely is," Sam confirmed. "Shikamaru is the advisor to Naruto!"

Shikadai overheard what Samantha had said and hummed his awareness, eyes narrowing.

"Boruto, is there something about these two you need to tell me?"

"Eh? No? You know everything."

"Except that they know who I am, and who my dad and your dad is. Do you know why?"

"I'm not really sure how they came to know about us… just that they do. Some type of book or something." Boruto shrugged. It made sense to Sam, since she and Tori had talked a lot about the manga and anime; but since those words didn't exist in this world, the shinobi wouldn't know what that meant. At least, Sam was mostly positive they didn't. After all… T.V.s turned out to exist in this world when she had previously thought otherwise. Who knew what more could enlighten her?

"How did you know we know about you from a manga? Well, book, if you will," Sam asked. After all, they'd not mentioned any of those things in their presence.

"Ah, well… eh-heh." Boruto rubbed the back of his head, sighing in resignation.

"We heard them talking about it," Mitsuki said, matter of fact.

"Eew! Were you watching us the whole time? This whole series is just a bunch of perverts, isn't it, Sam? Kakashi's books… that toad guy… and now this? Yuck." Victoria's nose scrunched up in disgust.

"In order to make sure we knew when you have to grab the piece of parchment, we had to listen and wait for the moment to come to help influence you," The white-skinned shinobi carried on, ignoring Victoria's distaste. Shikadai sighed, releasing the jutsu now that the once-rampaging toad had calmed down. Samantha couldn't help but watch in awe to see shadows creeping back to a pacifist position as Shikadai's shadow. _Dang… that's a friggin' awesome jutsu! And.. terrifying_ Sam eyed the calm toad, its huffing the only sounds of the poor things distress.

"How troublesome. You do know that if this gets out that we brought two civilians from a different dimension here, not to mention in an attempt to-"

"A-ah! We're well aware of the kind of trouble we'll be in with the adults, Shikadai. No need to berate us," Boruto interrupted him. Whatever the Nara member wanted to say, it was quite apparent that Boruto had no plans of sharing that information with the two women.

"What? What are you attempting to do? We know it has something to do with us." Samantha folded her arms, waiting. Her heart pounded a little, either in anticipation or nervousness, Sam wasn't sure.

"Well, they wanna change the past, obviously," Victoria drawled. "And I doubt it's just so that someone wins a silly contest or something. Messing around with time travel always means big universe-stuff." Giving up on the idea of finding rest soon or any pretense of dignity, Tori sat down on the long piece of steel that ringed the edge of the box car she had been leaning against. It was as uncomfortable as she anticipated. "Dangerous to mess with. You usually end up the villain or causing the event you wanted to avoid in the first place. I kinda feel like y'all haven't really thought this through yet."

Boruto frowned at Victoria. "Either way, we need you. We can't do this without your help."

"Well, we did say we would help you," Victoria reminded him. "But first you gotta get us outfitted. And probably figure out what to do with that frog. Go do that. We can sit here and drip frog-goo until you decide where to hide us from your collective moms."

At the mention of the toad, all eyes turned towards the creature. It had gone from being held by Shikadai's jutsu, to sagging in defeat against the ground; almost like a cat splayed across the arm of a chair. Boruto walked towards the toad, a hand on his hip,

"Ne, Toad-san? You okay?" He knelt down, touching a hand to the toad's head. It looked up at him, eyeing him intently.

"You look just like-" It paused breathing deeply. It looked at its surroundings, taking in the old train, the shinobi, and Sam and Tori. "You there," it called over to the two women, "This is your doing, isn't it?"

Sam blinked. It was creepy, seeing the toad speak. "Uh… well, actually. No. This is their fault." She pointed at Boruto who glared just a second, then turned towards the toad.

"Well, she's not wrong. Sorry Toad-san. We didn't mean to bring you here, too."

"Where is here, exactly?" It asked. Silence reigned. No one wanted to let the toad know the truth. He'd been unconscious for the whole of their conversation.

"Um, well, Toad-san," Himawari stepped up, clasping boths hands together, "You're… well… in the future." More silence.

"What." The toad deadpanned. It glanced frantically around, looking between the shinobi, and Sam and Tori, its breathing (a soft ribbetting hurr) intensifying. "I need to get back!" It ground out, before poofing out of existence, leaving behind a puddle of gooey mud.

"Well, that went well," Sarada voiced, a tinge of sarcasm lacing her words. She sighed before looking at Sam and Victoria. "Ne, don't worry about waiting for a place to stay. We'll make sure to get the supplies you need so that you won't have to worry while being in the past. My mom is a medic, so she'll be able to help heal your wounds," at this, she directed towards Victoria. "We'll just say you're civilians we came across after the aftermath of the Leaf's destruction. Since you can't use jutsu, convincing even Shikadai's dad that you're civilians won't be too hard."

"My dad's smarter than you think, Sarada. He's going to be suspicious."

"Then let him be," She shot back, "We don't really have any other choice now, do we?"

"That still doesn't explain how they read about us," Shikadai muttered, "I'm curious to know just what their world is like and why they are able to recognize us. Before we send you off again, you'll tell us everything you know." He stated louder. Samantha frowned mutely. She was exhausted, dirty, and desperately needing a shower.

Victoria snorted derisively. "Tit for tat, me amigos. I ain't telling you anymore about what we know unless you tell us what you know. I may not be a ninja, but I'm not stupid." Boruto and friends were seeing a side of Victoria that Kakashi had luckily avoided: when Tori was too-tired and/or sick/hurting her niceness filters came down. She was starting to feel rather sassy.

"I have to agree with Tori. We both really need to get cleaned up and she could really use the help of your mother," Sam nodded towards Sarada. "Not to mention get new clothes..." Sam grimaced as she touched her hair, feeling nauseous at the smell. Shikadai frowned, folding his arms, dissatisfied with their response.

"Will you be okay to walk into the village? It's a bit far from here." Himawari asked, her voice sympathetic to Victoria's plight.

"I can walk," Tori assured. "It's just my top half that wants to die. Well, actually, how far is it? Cuz you guys have a crazily warped perspective about distances. Seriously, how have you not invented cars?"

"Cars?" Mitsuki repeated, blinking.

"Ah, a form of transportation where we're from. Similar to trains but… individual." Sam briefly explained, not bothering to go into more detail.

Himawari, for all of Tori's sass, took it in stride. A large smile graced her lips, "It's a couple kilometers from here. Probably about… what would you say, Boruto?"

"It's at least seven kilometers from here. We have to head closer to the middle of the city. And with all the debris from the destroyed buildings… it'll be a bit longer to get where the makeshift hospital is." Boruto sighed, "I guess we've got no choice. We'll carry you."

Tori looked down at her poor, naked feet and sighed heavily. There was no way she'd be able to walk several miles through a destroyed city without even socks to protect her little tootsers. "I hate you, Kishimoto-San," she said despairingly to the ground. "May you never write again. Well, no, but may you have to be dragged to another dimension and forced to hike barefoot like I am now. Then you'll know true pain." Shaking her head in pity and a distant rage for the Naruto-verse author, she gestured fruitlessly about. "Alright. Well, my pride's shot anyways. How we gonna do this?"

Samantha couldn't help the giggle, muttering for Tori to hear 'curse you palm tree' and giggling all the more after it. She ignored the strange looks she received from their new shinobi friends, glancing down at her own feet that were still covered, thankfully. Even if they were covered in goo. "I'm good," She stated.

"We'll be carrying both of you, since it will be faster that way." Mitsuki eye-smiled at Samantha. _There's no way he didn't get that from Kakashi. He_ had _to have gotten it from Kakashi._ Still, she wasn't happy with the situation. It was all well and good to be carried but… these shinobi were kids. It was a little uncomfortable for her. Sam did not like the idea.

"Mitsuki, you take Victoria, I'll take Samantha. Let's go, quickly. It's late, and we don't want to be questioned more than necessary," Boruto stated, walking up to Samantha while Mitsuki walked up to Victoria.

"Uh," Samantha said, eloquently. She shifted, uncomfortable, not sure how to go about being carried. She was used to carrying her own weight; relying on herself, whether she was hurt or tired. Having someone else, especially a _teenager_ of all people, carry her, was, sadly, anticlimactic. Where was her knight in shining armor, darn it!? Boruto gazed at her with his piercing blue eyes, shadowed by his blonde locks. He was as tall as her, surprisingly, and didn't hesitate to pick her up bridal style and shot off, the air whooshing past as fast as a tornado. The butterflies in her stomach made Samantha gasp a little as she watched the scenery blur by, as if she were in a high speed chase. She barely noticed the others swiftly following alongside Boruto.

Surprisingly, Tori was having the time of her life, clinging to Mitsuki's back - her ribs had not liked the bridal style suggestion. Giggling a little, she called over to Sam, "Hey! Sam! I figured it out! Making cars is stupid when you can have your own personal roller coaster effect. Hey, ninja kid, you should do some jumps or something, but careful, yeah? Man, this is great!"

Mitsuki hummed his affirmation, complying with Victoria's request. Samantha watched in amusement, and shouted with her own glee as Boruto followed suit. "This is amazing!" Sam said, having distant thoughts of Disney's Rapunzel and her own shouts of glee after being freed from the tower. Time seemed to go too quickly, and soon enough, the destruction of the Leaf village sobered Samantha as they slowed down to a normal run, seeing bursts of people the closer they were to the hospital. No one seemed to bat an eye as the five shinobi and two women zoomed past, the display showing just how normal it was for shinobi to be a part of the village.

When they came upon the makeshift hospital - a white, tent-like fixture - Sam and Tori were both set down to walk on their own. Sarada looked around the wide open space, ignoring the sounds of sickness and beds everywhere, before turning to look back at the tiny group. "I'm gonna go find my mom, I'll be right back." Then turned and left down a small walkway with patients on the floor on either side. It reminded Sam a bit like Hogwarts at the end of the seventh movie part two, except this hospital was brighter.

Victoria swayed a little as she finally re-joined the normal ground. She had to move carefully what with her ribs and bare toes. Absentmindedly, she patted the shinobi's shoulder in gratitude almost like you would pat a horse once the ride was done. "Thanks," she told the weirdly pale teen. "What's your name again?" But as he turned to her in the light, Tori felt her heart leap up into her throat in pure terror. There was something inherently _wrong_ with this boy's eyes. She was almost used to the creepy other colors: like the mostly white eyes of Neji or the bright red of Kakashi's sharingan, but it wasn't just the startlingly metallicy gold color: his eyes were too big and just… not human. She backed up uneasily, looking for Sam and trying really hard not to let her sudden fright show.

Mitsuki stared at Victoria's retreating form curiously, his metallic gold eyes carefully intaking her actions. He made no sound, nor did he make any move to follow after her, but he couldn't help his curiosity from peaking. Having two strange women from a different dimension, if he hadn't been a part of the cause of their appearance, he would've thought that his parent had something to do with it.

Samantha, for all her lack of observation, was acutely aware of Victoria's actions. Especially considering where they were: a makeshift hospital full of people who needed medical attention and the flurry of nurses that passed quickly by to help those calling for them or otherwise needed. All the while they were waiting for Sakura. Sam placed a comforting hand on Victoria's shoulder, trying to convey to her that everything would be fine, even though she, too, felt unnerved by Orochimaru's fabricated son. She kinda half-smiled when she felt Tori's shoulder straighten underneath her hand as though her mercurial friend gained courage from the gesture. "That's Mitsuki," Sam answered.

"Th..thank you, Mitsuki," Victoria said slowly, her eyes still watching the strange creature cautiously. Everything in her was screaming that something about his existence was wrong, but he seemed to be a person so she needed to try to ignore that and treat him like everyone else was. Her headache seemed to stab even harder at her now and she grimaced a little as she gently prodded the goose egg under her sticky hair. Around them, the room was noisily busy and they were left in the awkward island of her, Sam, the silent Mitsuki, and, for the moment, Himawari.

Shikadai had left them earlier, claiming he needed to speak to his father for some unfinished business, and left them to it. It was something to be said for Boruto's character when, not even five minutes after having arrived in the hospital, people came up to the teenager, expressing gratitude for all that he'd done to stop the invasion and save the people of Konoha. Boruto laughed abashedly, rubbing the back of his head, responding to each of the villager's that came up to him. Surprisingly many for a hospital. Himawari simply smiled alongside her brother, taking in stride all that they said, before doing her part in walking around and greeting the citizens of Konoha. It was almost as if both of the Uzumaki children were prepared to take the hat. Sam half-wondered if Boruto had changed his mind in becoming hokage. He seemed to be at ease with everyone well enough. Contemplating their goals for the future, and what they could possibly entail, Samantha noticed a bandage that peaked above the collar of Boruto's coat, and the slight way he favored his right arm. _And he still had the strength to carry someone like me?_ Sam stared, unblinking, in thought. Shinobi really were hard pressed to let injuries hold them back. She couldn't help but wonder if Boruto was mostly healed, and if not, how long ago their village had been destroyed. _Has time passed the same here as it has for us? That's probably something we should ask them about… Especially if they're wanting our help… hm._ She bit her lip, unable to stop frowning in consternation.

Within at least a fifteen minute timeframe, Sarada walked quickly towards their little group. Sakura, in all her splendor, followed right behind, looking at ease with herself and those around her. Samantha wished, not for the first time since they woke, that she could clean herself up, especially when meeting Sakura for the first time since they began this bizarre adventure. Let it be known that Masashi Kishimoto had no idea how to draw a beautiful woman. Sakura, for all that the anime tried, was stunningly beautiful in real life. Her beautiful, pastel pink locks actually hung behind her, longer than the anime portrayed by this point, though half was pulled back into a messy bun, almost as beautiful as any drawing could possibly make. She had the iconic diamond in the middle of her forehead which accented its high nature. The anime had tried to convey how big her forehead was, and it was definitely not wrong that she had a larger forehead than someone like, well, Sarada, but because of the way her bangs accented her face, complemented by not only being pulled back, but that diamond of strength, had cause to make Sakura more beautiful than any drawing Kishimoto had ever drawn in the first place.

Sakura's startling green eyes washed over Sam and Tori, taking in the two dimension-hopping women in stride, as if she had done this a bazillion times before. Which, when it came to patients, she most likely had.

"So… which one of you is it that could use some mending?" She smiled, her voice sounding so much like the Japanese voice actress, Samantha couldn't help her jaw drop.

Victoria blinked. She remembered Sakura had pink hair and was a very boy-crazy tweenager. Apparently Sakura had grown up to be incredibly confident in that way that made her already-beautiful features down right gorgeous. _What a glow-up_ , Tori noted to herself, feeling the massive amounts of toad goo in her hair suddenly doubling in weight and stench by very nature of being in contact with such fluffy, happy locks. _And that_ _ **color**_ _!_ She gave a slightly wistful sigh of pure envy at the thought of having the genetics that allowed for pink hair all day every day. Maybe there was something to be said for this ninja world beyond just its ridonculously fit men-creatures. "That'd be me," she answered, raising a hand. "Sorry. Got clotheslined by a dude, smothered by a toad, and now I've also got a nice big bump on my head thanks to gravity and a railroad tie. It's been kind of a rough day."

"It would seem so," Sakura responded, her lips twitching upward; eyes sparkling. Samantha guiltily raised her own hand.

"I also was smothered by a toad." Sakura's shimmering eyes briefly looked over Samantha, then turned to look at Victoria once again, giving her a once-more over, before looking about her and pulling up a chair and gesturing for Victoria to sit.

"Here, you look exhausted. Let me take a look and see what I can do for you."

Tori gave her a grateful smile and sat down. "Thanks. Sorry to cause all the trouble." She vainly pushed her nasty hair over one shoulder, only slightly wincing as the blood and goo holding said hair yanked against the tender skin at the back of her neck. "Your kids were really kind to help us out."

Sakura smiled as she placed a green, chakra encased hand over Victoria's neck, "Just as I raised her to be." She placed her hand on Victoria's head, "To be kind, that is. It is a shinobi's duty to help any civilian out but, there's definitely more to being a shinobi than fulfilling one's duty."

"It is," Tori agreed wholeheartedly, her eyes falling shut as the tingly warmth spread over and through her head, easing the ache with comfort and warmth. "Kindness is what we all need, just to be human. Most important thing of all." She shivered a little as the green light seemed to feather at the back of her ear. "Oo, that tickles."

Sakura smiled endearingly, "Yeah, it might make you a little sleepy also." Sakura placed her healing hands against Victoria's ribs, brows furrowing slightly, "It would seem you've fractured your ribs. There's not much we can do about that by way of bandages. You'll need to get plenty of rest, and drink lots of liquids. I have some pain medication you can have that you take with food - usually at lunch." She completed her assessment and healing, pushing herself up from the crouched position she'd been in.

"How long will it take for Tori to heal up?" Samantha asked, feeling slightly anxious for her friend, not to mention how… earnest and hasty Boruto and the other's seemed to be feeling as well. Time didn't seem to be at their leisure.

"A fractured bone, especially on the ribs, will take at least a few weeks." Sakura replied, looking at Samantha. It was startling to see that Sakura was just as tall as she was. They came eye-to-eye. Samantha looked to Boruto, who had continued to talk to his fellow villagers during Victoria's assessment. Himawari, Sarada, and Mitsuki listened in on what Sakura had to say, and the awkward silence that followed her timeframe left Sakura curious. "What?" She questioned, "Why do you all look so solemn? Fractured ribs aren't that big a deal. Just be thankful that it wasn't more than that." Sakura's gaze glanced around the room, at half the citizens lying down on their mats, either unable to move or unconscious.

"Ah, you're right, Mom," Sarada smiled, the smile not quite reaching her eyes, "We are definitely glad that our friend here wasn't more hurt than she could've been. Thank you for looking after her."

"It's okay, Sakura-Chan," Victoria mumbled, feeling incredibly sleepy all of a sudden. "Nobody can really do things for ribs. Ya just gotta suck it up. Heh. Except not too deeply. Then they'll hurt. When, ya know, you do the breathing thing. Besides, I'm strong. I can do the broken thing, no problem." She blinked a little. "Huh. Was it you that made me so sleepy? Sam. I need to go to bed, I think. And the pain pills, pretty please."

Sam smiled sympathetically at Victoria, "I think that's a good idea." She looked at Sarada expectantly while Sakura went to grab the necessary pain pills for Victoria. But, to their surprise, it was Himawari who spoke up on their behalf.

"You two can stay with me and Boruto. My mom'll be there too! She'll be super happy to have you there!"

Samantha's eyes bugged out a little, "You mean… Hinata? We'll get to meet Hinata?"

"Yup!" Himawari replied, enthusiastically.

"We saw Sasuke once," Victoria announced to the group in general. "He was buying socks." She yawned very widely. Boruto casually made his way over to the group, waving goodbye to the continuous flow of villagers who wanted to say hello to their newfound hero. He raised an eyebrow at Tori's ramblings.

"You met Sauske-San?" he asked, but Tori didn't seem to hear and just kept rambling.

"Naruto, he likes ramen. Rock Lee - now that kid's pretty cool. Weird hair though." Another yawn interrupted her musings. "But Ten-Ten's the best. Cuz the buns, ya know. Whatever happened to that girl?"

"Well, why don't you ask her yourself?" Boruto interrupted, jerking a thumb over one shoulder back towards the rest of the temporary village. "Rock Lee, too. They're both here. You could say hi if you wanted."

"Really?" Samantha asked, her brows raising. Wouldn't that be weird to meet them in the future when they're older and less angsty. "Are you sure that'd be okay to say hi? I mean… what if they remember us?"

"I highly doubt that they'd remember you." Boruto shrugged. "It's been, what? More than fifteen years since they saw you?" Sarada and Himawari glanced at each other then looked back at Boruto. Sarada sighed, shrugging.

"We can't really stop you from saying hi if you see them," Sarada said, "But Boruto's right. They probably don't remember you so just don't feel too sad if they don't recognize you at all, but honestly, it's probably best to avoid that situation all together."

"I think we can handle that!" Sam declared.

The conversation was momentarily paused as Sakura returned with the pain medication and gave the dosage instructions to Sam, since Tori seemed to be steadily growing more and more out of it. Tor borrowed Sam as a helpful crutch as they made their way outside again. As soon as they were out of Sakura's hearing though, the blond leader of the group was quick to add some contingencies to the Sam and Tori Reunion Tour.

"Just! Don't go talkin' to Shikadai's dad." Boruto jumped in quickly as they all made their way out of the makeshift hospital, "That man is way too perceptive for his own good, ya know," he muttered.

"Shhh...shhhh..Shhhhhikamaru," Victoria whispered. "Can't tell Shikamaru."

"Uh, We'll do our best." Samantha replied, unsure what she would do if she actually _did_ see Rock Lee or Tenten. Would they remember them? It had been an awful long time since. _I wonder if we'd meet Metal Lee, too. And… does Tenten even have a kid? Or is Metal Lee hers?_ Samantha giggled to herself at the thought. It was too bizarre to even consider, since Tenten was always grossed out by how overenthusiastic Rock Lee and Might Guy were. Sam turned her head to see Victoria's face, "What if we ended up seeing Might Guy? There's no way that he wouldn't remember us. After all… he was already in his twenties when he met us."

"He'd be so jealous now of our youthfulness," Victoria quipped. "Time travel is the best skin cream of all. Do you think he uses skin cream? I bet he does.. Hey, if we see him, we should totally pay him back for the ramen. And the barbeque. Man, we owe a lot of ninjas food money, don't we? Boruto's fault he didn't give us any money though, so really he kinda owes them, right? We could tell Jiraiya that. Send all the bills to Boruto, Twelfth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf."

Ahead of them, the sharp-eared shinobis exchanged glances. Boruto turned back, looking horrified. "She's..she's kidding, right?" he asked warily. "I'm not gonna be stuck being the Hokage am I?"

Samantha snorted, "Aren't you supposed to be the one who can see the future?" She laughed a little at his fright. Behind her red glasses, Sarada's eyes narrowed as well, she was obviously not anymore pleased by the assumed prophecy than her blond counterpart. "Boruto would be a horrible Hokage," she said dispassionately. "He's the second least-suited shinobi I know."

"Don't worry, Sarada, you've got nothing to fear - er, that I know of. Eh-heh." Samantha laughed, sheepishly. After all, they couldn't _actually_ see the future. Victoria was simply delirious from whatever medicine Sakura had her on.

"Kakashi has to be Hokage," Victoria said somewhat mournfully. "Has to help keep the village safe. No time for girlfriends. Not that he'd pick me, but it's so sad he's all alone." She turned her head the other way to where Himawari walked. "Isn't it so sad? He's so hot but won't ever have any babies. Those genes will die with him." Victoria sniffled. "I don't want Kakashi to die. He has such nice genes. And heart. Like, maybe he's a bad guy to other ninja but his heart is for friends."

Samantha raised her eyebrows, unable to help an amused smile from appearing on her face. "I think we need to get you some rest, good friend. Come along!" She spoke with an attempted British accent (as per the usual slip the two friends fell into on more than one occasion) heading the way after Himawari.

"Kakashi Ojii-san was the Hokage, that's true." Boruto came to walk next to them, "And we have reason to believe that he's just as alive as my father. When it comes to him, ah, spreading his genes," a small flurry of red graced Boruto's cheeks, "You'd have to ask him about that."

Victoria sighed a sigh of a thousand laments. "Ya know, Naruto2, I have a super power - a jutsu - of my own. I can make anyone get married just by getting a crush on them. And for whatever reason, it doesn't work on him. He didn't get married. I think it must be broken here. Or I'm broken here.." She gestured at the crumbling buildings all around them. "Everyone's broken here. Even the scenery. We should probably fix that."

Samantha gave a slight apologetic look to her dear friend, unable to help the smile that was trying to creep its way onto her face. "You know, Tor, your filters are being more generous tonight. We should probably fix that to avoid future regrets. Sleep. Sleep will be good for you. Himawari, are we, uh, heading to your house now?"

"Yup! Don't worry, my mom will be totally fine with you staying over, too. She's the coolest, sweetest mom you'll ever meet!" Himawari had turned around to brag about Hinata, walking backwards with her hands clasped behind her back. Himawari's long, so black it looked blue hair (which is probably why Hinata's hair looked so blue too, come to think of it) flowed out around her, the wind catching tufts and sending it flurrying about.

"Are my filters down?" Victoria, becoming frighteningly sleepy as time went on, asked with a faint frown. "Then people will know what I am really thinking. That's no good. I might say something embarrassing. Or mean. Sam, did I say anything mean? Quick: you must be my conscience! Or gag me. That might be easier."

"I won't be gagging you," Sam snorted, "But don't worry. You didn't say anything mean. Maybe embarrassing but… no worries! We'll get through this together!" She patted Victoria on the back, sending her sympathies as best she could. Poor Tor couldn't help speaking her mind when she was too tired to hold back and while it didn't mean anything in Samantha's company, having other's hear her say something potentially embarrassing wasn't something Sam would wish on her. Ever. Tori was too good of a person for that. So Sam prayed they would make it to the Uzumaki residence soon.

The group had whittled down to four after Mitsuki left. Sam's shoulder was aching under the barely-conscious Victoria, but then they finally came in sight of a building she instantly recognized from the anime. It was a round, little two story house with a wide roof ringing the first floor - _Perfect for sitting on to watch the sunset or daydream the day away_ , Sam couldn't help thinking to herself. As they closed the short distance, she noticed other small details like the scattered flower pots on the front porch and the cheery curtains inside the front-facing windows. _Dang… how is it that Kishimoto was able to get details so similar? Is this what you'd call premonition? Visions?_ Sam thought wryly as they came even with the gap in the fence that opened to the Uzumaki yard.

Tori seemed to miss the fact that they were turning because she kept trying to go straight for a moment and nearly knocked Sam right over. "Tor. Tori!" Sam laughed. "We're _turning_ ," she emphasized. But after straightening the two of them out, Sam was only too glad to let Himawari take over as crutch for the half-asleep Tori. She gave a long stretch to ease the ache in her back before noticing that Boruto seemed weirdly reluctant to head to the porch as Himawari and Victoria were. Walking over to where he lurked, Sam turned her head curiously to see what the blond teenager was staring at. "So! Whatcha looking… at." Her question tapered off as she followed the direction Boruto's eyes were looking. The entire north side of the house was gone. Where the little kitchen should have been with its little living room where the Uzumaki family met so often: it was nothing but shattered plaster and scattered lengths of blasted wood. A thick curtain of plastic sheeting had been stretched from one side to the other and nailed in place: at least keeping out the weather even if it left the family's home open to every curious eye. It was like a life-size dollhouse. Through the thick, kinda blurry plastic, they could both see Hinata rise from the salvaged kitchen table - presumably at the sound of the door opening - and then she and a candle disappeared out of sight into the hall.

"Oh," was all Samantha could manage to say. What more was there that she _could_ say? "That sucks."

"Yeah," was Boruto's response. They stood there staring a while longer before he stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued forward. Sam followed after, contemplating what it must have been like to watch the whole village be destroyed. Picking his way through the scattered timber, he finally reached down and pulled out a long metal prybar. "It's gonna take a lot," he said, just as slowly making his way over to the side of the house that was really messed up still: pieces of their fence were literally impaled into some of the walls and half the roof was sticking up like a hillbilly's teeth. "Rebuilding. Like...a lot a lot. I'm not sure how well Konoha will fare until then."

Sam eyed the blonde teen, having to look up at his face. Boruto, with the ease of much practice, hooked his prybar around one of the fence-posts that was stabbing into the house. A few solid yanks and the post pulled free with a shudder. Boruto picked up the post and dispassionately threw it in the vague direction of the other piled posts scattered across the grass. "So. You're right. It kinda sucks, ya know. Knowing that we've got all this awful stuff to deal with: my dad missing, the city messed up, and we don't even know for sure where Kawaki went."

"That sounds super stressful," Sam acknowledged, unsure with where Boruto was heading with the conversation. He seemed to have something more on his mind, and Sam knew, due to experience, that it was good to wait it out. He'd say what he wanted eventually. Make small, confirming noises to let him know she was listening - a phrase here and there - and _voila!_ Eventual thought spillage.

"Yeah. It is." Boruto hooked the prybar into a new post and gave a hard yank, and then immediately winced. His left hand suddenly shot out grab at his opposing shoulder. The bar swung free and then hit the ground with a sullen clump. He sighed a little as he bent down to pick it back up. Sam remembered how he had been favoring his right side earlier in the hospital and wondered what might have injured him- but also why he wouldn't just get it healed. "Anyways... You and the other lady. You could really help us out..."

Sam's brow furrowed minutely, taking in the serious tone Boruto had suddenly taken. She folded her arms, standing wide, feeling her stomach twist with senseless amount of butterflies. "Help out, how?"

He rubbed nervously at the back of his neck, avoiding her gaze for the moment. But when he did look up, Sam was pinned by the bright blue of Boruto's eyes. _Huh, Sarada might be right. They are even bluer than Naruto's._ He stepped forward suddenly too, the intensity of his earnest words reaching out to try to wrap around her. _Talk-no-jutsu, Activate!_ She joked to herself, but Sam couldn't help being drawn by it anyways.

"You see, Samantha-Chan, you might be the only one who can really help. I...I know something about what is coming next. And it can't happen, but I can't tell the others about it either. So, I need to ask you to do something when you go back into the past. But you have to promise me, first. Promise me you'll keep what I say to you secret."

Sam blinked. _Uh oh, something he can't even tell his comrades?_ She deliberated on what to do, wondering if it would be right to keep something so serious to herself. But Boruto's eyes were so earnest and _desperate. Yeah, he definitely looks desperate_.

Sam came to her decision.

"Alright. I promise."

* * *

 **Omake:**

 **Dear Readers. The following section is meant to explain why it took so flipping long for us to update. Please consider both sides and then correctly assign all the blame on Boruto. It's the right thing to do.**

 _ **M = MangaGeek3**_

 _ **R = RoyalVicTorie**_

One beautiful day in November, a conversation begins in regards to RoyalVicTorie's viewing habits. For, she had recently completed season five of the original series, but had not yet started Shippuden.

M:why are you wasting time watching those episodes? After Sasuke leaves you're supposed to skip to Shippuden!

R: But I'm learning all these important things about the world.

M: But they're not canon! So they're not really a part of the world, so you should just skip them. Except the Kakashi arc, that's the only one that's canon. You need to go to Shippuden!

R: But then it'd be out of order cuz I'd have to go back and watch them later.

M: (becoming very passionate) No! 'Cause the fillers aren't real and they aren't important! They're not canon! And it's going to take you forever to get through all of them! You don't need to watch them.

R: But it's more Naruto! Why would you want to have less Naruto?

M: You don't want more Naruto you want more Kakashi! Besides you need to hurry up so we can write the next thing and that means you have to finish the main episodes of Shippuden so I can finally tell you the big spoilers. Gah! Tori! We don't have time for you to watch the fillers!

R: I like the fillers!

M: No!

R: They are a part of the world!

M: No! They aren't! They aren't in the manga!

R: Well I'm not going off the manga; I'm going off the show! For once I'm choosing the movie over the book! And I'm gonna watch all the episodes, even in Shippuden!

M: No! You can't do that!

R: Well you can't stop me. Your dvds are at my house.

M: Well I'll come get them back! And I'll change my password on Crunchyroll!

R: Well I'll just make my own account!

M: Then you'll have to pay $7 a month!

R: This would be a funny conversation for a behind the scenes..

M: Don't change the subject!

 **Three days later...**

R: ..And then little Hinata just passed out, it was adorable. I just love watching how lil and cute they are all and like knowing that none of them can die.

M: But you have so much to go still. And I can't write the chapter until you do 'cause there's such big spoilers if you haven't watched Shippuden.

R: But we have to know the fillers cuz that's where our story exists is between the fillers!

M: No 'cause we are a filler so we don't have to pay attention to those other ones 'cause they aren't really in the world.

R: But I'm learning so much!

M: But you're not! The fillers aren't real. It makes me so sad it's like you're going off the deep end: the Naruto-verse deep end.

R: (annoying Sasuke voice) But I wanna go off the deep end and live with Orochimaru. I'm leaving the village and you can't stop me, Naruto.

M: That's it friendship over.

R: Hey! That's not how it went!

M: How would you know? You're still watching the fillers!

R: Oh dang.

 **10 minutes later**

R: Give me time.

M: Do you have any idea how long it took me to watch all of Naruto? Just straight binge watching just the CANON episodes!? An entire week! Of nothing but binge watching!

R: You underestimate my watching abilities.

M: *deadpan* You work.

R: Oh. Right. Heh heh

 **Another week later**

R: You were right… watching the fillers… is like watching Pokemon. I… I need to watch the actual fight scenes where there is some real possibility of consequences! The fillers..they were cute but now they're just boring cuz I know no one's gonna die. Plus, where's the Kakashi? Nowhere.

M: *smirks* hah! Told you so.

 **See? It was definitely Boruto's fault because his world had so many spoilers. In case you want to know, RoyalVicTorie has not finished Shippuden yet, but at least she is trusting me now when I tell her to skip an arc or two. And, yes, she loved the Kakashi arc. It was kind of ridiculous how much she loved the Kakashi arc. Honestly, she should probably be a little embarrassed.**

 **Also, this whole thing just now was written by her once again pretending to be MangaGeek3. She really is a cheeky monkey.**


	8. Chapter 8

**...That Ninja's Sometimes Hold Grudges**

Morning, for Victoria, dawned just before the setting sun. There were blurry memories of waking a few times for water and more pain medication, but she was only too happy to collapse back again onto Himawari's borrowed (real!) bed and fall back under the comforting blanket of sleep. Finally, though, her empty stomach demanded she get more fuel for her doing-its-best-to-heal body. Her movements were slow and cautious, but happily, not too painful as she dragged her freshly laundered dress back over her head and shoulders. Last night, she had managed a quick shower before passing out, but based on the awfulness of her bedhead, she would probably need to wash it again just to ease some of the tangles out - and to double-check all the toad spit was really, truly gone. Victoria gave a slight shudder at the memory. The giant, slobbery tongue wrapped around her legs and torso was a terrible sensation that she was certain would never truly leave her. _I will never mock the weird squid-captured moment that some animes boast. If tentacles are even half as nasty as toad tongue - which they probably are with the suckers! - then those are truly horrifying moments. Poor anime chicks. I'll be triggered now. I probably can't even go to an automatic car wash anymore._

Dress managed, Tori picked up her much-abused leggings and sighed at the sight of a big tear across one knee: a memento from the tree-falling adventure with Jiraiya. A minimally invasive check of Himawari's desk did not yield up a sewing kit, so Tori tucked her leggings under one arm and toed on a pair of house slippers that had been left with her clothes. Curious, Tori peeked her head in the other two rooms that made up the upstairs. One was clearly Boruto's: it seemed to mirror the set up of his sister's room: with a window in the corner, bed against the wall, and desk and dresser opposite. His posters appeared to be for some sort of ninja-inspired movie series and the top of the dresser was covered in a confusing array of action figures, handheld games, and well-used weaponry. It served as a testament for what Konoha seemed to still be: childhood shoved aside for the makings of war. The late afternoon sunlight gleamed off a wickedly sharp kunai and the cold breathe of premonition shivered down her spine.

Maybe things hadn't really changed as much as Samantha claimed.

Shaking off her dark thoughts, Victoria stepped over to the window to peek outside, but the yard on this side of the house was empty. A quick glance around the room confirmed that Victoria couldn't spy anything else that might indicate the whereabouts of her friend. The sight of Boruto's bulky computer tower and monitor was incredibly tempting...but Tori shook her head slightly and left, closing the door against the sight. Her curiosity about the technological parallels to Earthlife would just have to wait. Food, sewing kit, and knowing where Sam had gone were much higher priorities. Her mind floated briefly to her phone. She had definitely had it when they landed in Jiraiya's timeline, but she hadn't found it in her pocket last night while stumbling towards the shower. Poor thing must have fallen or perhaps been ingested by the toad. Either way, the odds of it ever being found/recharged/undamaged by toad slobber were probably nonexistent at this time.

She knew the third door in the hallway already: that was the bathroom. Another door yielded a linen closet, but Tori didn't spend more than a few seconds looking in the master bedroom for her hosts. Something about the darkening room: the bed unmade on just one side and the view out the window torn in ragged sections by the upflung roof boards screamed of a private agony and loss. Poor Hinata. It didn't really matter that she was a strong-willed shinobi: pain of the heart could wound anyone. Her husband was gone, likely dead, and there was no way to really be certain if she would ever see him again. It was clear, by what the kids had said last night, that most of village did not believe the seventh hokage would ever return from wherever Kowaki had sent him. Quietly closing the door, Victoria rested one hand against the smooth wood and sent a silent prayer to heaven on behalf of the Uzumaki family.

The sound of voices - and lack of other places to snoop for sewing supplies - drew Tori down the stairs. There was some sort of office space off the front entrance - but that wasn't were the voices were coming. Finally she located them: in the half-destroyed kitchen/living room area. Himawari and a boy about Boruto's age were seated at the kitchen table, both bent over a pile of electronic-looking stuff and discussing passionately in some crazy lingo that sounded half like a computer manual and half like Sam ranting about keku-whatevers.

Victoria hesitated, aware uncomfortably of her guest status, but, hey, these were teenagers. They weren't that scary. "Hey, Himawari-San?" she called. The blue-haired girl practically fell over she jumped so quickly at Tori's voice. "Whoa. Sorry. Didn't know you could sneak up on a ninja." Himawari flushed brightly and seemed to be rather quickly covering something up in a way that was obviously guilty. Tori just resisted raising an eyebrow. "I was just wondering if you guys had a needle and thread. I've got a tear in my leggings I wanted to fix."

"Tori-Chan!" Himawari said in surprise. "I didn't know you were awake." She shot a look back at the boy she had been arguing with but he seemed to be rapidly taking notes on a bright green laptop. "Um, yes, yes. I can get you something. Um, do you need something to eat? Water?" The helpful girl quickly started to dig through a somewhat beat-up dresser that had been yanked up against the wall beside the counter. It, like the table, seemed to have been survivors of whatever blow had taken out the far wall.

"Yes and yes, please." Tori wandered over to the table that was covered in books and all sorts of wires and electronics. It looked kind of like the time Victoria's mom had forced her dad to go through and toss out all the pre-millenium computer junk that he had been hoarding well into the 20-teens. "Nice soldering gun," she quipped. "What y'all building?"

The boy pushed up his glasses with one hand and started to answer when Himawari loudly interrupted, "There's some soup! On the counter! Tori-Chan, would you like some soup?"

This time, the eyebrow raise was not avoided, but it came with a soft laugh. "Yeah, I like soup," Victoria assured. Shaking her head a little at the not-so-subtle deflect, she tried to set the girl's mind at ease by turning away from the work and obediently trotting over to the promised soup. "And it's okay if its a terrible shinobi secret. I'll keep my nose out." Opening the lid of the pot, she smiled widely at the fragrant ramen. (Well, really, what else would be the default meal of choice in Naruto's house?) She had just finished dishing a very full bowl when Himawari appeared before her with a small sewing kit and a pair of scissors. Grinning, Tori set the bowl down and then accepted the offering. "Oo, thanks." She smiled widely at Himawari. "You're awesome." Victoria set the kit and scissors down neatly on the counter along with her leggings and then reclaimed the bowl and spoon. "Is it cool if I eat in here? Don't want to mess up your project, of course, so if not, just point me in the right direction."

After being reassured that she was more than welcome to eat in the kitchen, Tori settled into a chair that was indicated to her and a place was cleared on the table among the technological detrius for her bowl. She also learned the name of the be-spectacled boy: Denki.

After awhile, the teens seemed to cautiously go back to discussing whatever they had been working on. Some kind of computer battery from what little Tori could gather. She was content to inhale ramen as fast as humanly possible and then chase the burning heat of hot soup with cup after cup of ice cold water. Denki left a few minutes later with a bunch of the various objects from the table, and Himawari diligently continued the work of soldering. When Victoria was finally full, she delivered the bowl to the sink and snagging the leggings and sewing kit, settled back into her chair to complete her clothing surgery. As she usually did, she ended up starting to hum to herself and was totally startled when across the table, Himawari joined in quietly on the chorus of "my loneliness is killing me, and I - I must confess, I still believe! Still believe!"

"Wait, how do you know that song?" Tori asked, and then it occurred to her right away. Himawari and the like had been spying on them the whole time and The Sam-Tori-And-Jiraiya-Walking-Through-the-Forest Concert had definitely featured some Britney. "Oh. Right. Sorry, so weird. I keep forgetting."

"It must be kind of strange for you," Himawari said apologetically. "We were just focused on making certain you and Samantha-Chan stayed safe, though."

"I'd probably have put more effort into staying on pitch if I had known I had such an intense audience!" Victoria quipped, smiling at the girl to show there were no hard feelings.

"I thought you both were great singers," Himawari assured instantly. "And the songs where you are from! They are so different. So fun!"

"And you just got the karaoke versions. If I still had my cell-phone, I would totally play some of the full versions for you!"

A faintly silver light gleamed in the shinobi's eyes. "That device you had. It has music in it?"

"Yeah. And pictures. And all my phone numbers." Tori sighed wistfully. "And it could reach the internet. I miss meme culture so much..I haven't seen a single gif in over a week. I might very well die of it. Of course, even if I knew where my phone went or how to charge it again, it'd be next to useless here. Y'all are about twenty years behind where my world's at with tech."

"But you could still play the music. If it could be charged."

"Yep."

"I need to go call Denki." She poofed away in what Tori considered a rather unnecessary show-off of shinobi magic stuff. _Granted, if I had that skill, I'd use it all the time too. No more blisters for this ninja! I'd be so fancy and super-speedy. Wouldn't Kakashi be so proud?_

"When I'm not with you, I lose my mind," Tori sang softly to herself and her memories, "Give me a siiii-ii-ign...Hit me, baby, one more time!"

* * *

With leggings finished and donned, and her tummy happily full, Victoria had only one remaining task on her to-do list: find Samantha. Luckily, Himawari was off her call by then and happy to lead Tori through the rest of the house and out to the back. At the teen girl's prompting, Tori knelt down in front of a pair of traditional bamboo-paper doors. The fusuma door gave a soft _woosh_ as Himawari slid it open. Beyond was a breathtaking sight. A beautiful dojo with lovingly polished wooden floors unrolled before them. The long, impressive lines of the boards were broken only by a row of tatami mats that filled what was once the center of the space. Tori could only think "was" because the two far walls that faced north and west had disappeared. Some massive hand of fate had knocked out the thin bamboo walls like a cat paw batting at a house of cards. Only the massive tree-trunk sized pillars at each corner remained to hold up the roof - and even they had obviously required some shoring up. Yet, the broken beauty of the room was nothing compared to the wild, golden twilight shimmering through the garden and gilding the riotous city beyond. The setting sun threw harsh yet beautiful shadows through everything and set the edges of figure and form afire. And against that backdrop of sprawling trees and shattered bamboo frames, the honey-rich sunset danced and gleamed off of the pair of female shinobis who sparred just inches from the ragged edge where sturdy wooden floor tumbled off into the destroyed backyard. The fighters seemed to move to unheard music: each strike and block perfectly answering the other. Strike right high, now left low. Counter to the left; spin and catch the kick from the right. Left High. Right Low. Step back.

"Again!"

The blinding sunlight behind them dazzled Victoria's eyes and threw their faces into dark shadows. The pattern repeated and the spinning kick chased the shadows momentarily away and then Tori could see that the first fighter was a woman who looked almost exactly like Himawari. It must be her mother, Hinata. The second fighter confidently deflected the kick with a twist of both her hands together. Hinata turned and came back for another quick series of hand strikes. The second fighter blocked to the left, to the right, and stepped back. The two fighters did a quarter turn, effortlessly and instinctively resetting the frame now so that Hinata faced into the sun instead. As they did, the second figure's face finally caught the fiery spill of sunlight. "Is that Sam?" Victoria gasped, utterly surprised. The second figure had moved so confidently, so certainly in her blocks that Tori was certain it was another of the Konoha ninjas.

"And my mom," Himawari said proudly. "They've been out here two hours now. I told my mom that Samantha-Chan wanted to learn to defend herself and that she was trying to learn a style based off the gentle-fist technique. My mom wanted to help even though she's probably exhausted from helping with clean up all day." She then added with a proud challenge in her voice that "My mom is seriously the best."

"Seriously," Victoria murmured in agreement, watching in awe as Samantha ducked Hinata's high kick and then popped straight back up to block a strike from the right. Oh, Tori had seen Sam practice, of course - even been a very reluctant target that flinched way too much at the blows that always stopped far short of hitting her. Yet, this Sam had twelve times the focus and passion of those remembered moments. Even her training three days ago with young Rock Lee and TenTen had had a sense of restraint or timidity: like Samantha wasn't really sure of her own abilities and strength.

"Higher!" Hinata coached; Sam's left arm thrusted higher, pushing away the downward right strike. "Good."

Samantha's breathless laugh of victory made Tori grin and lean forward eagerly as she watched.

"My mom doesn't know why you're here," Himawari said softly, her voice a whisper under the pounding feet and soft grunts of the fighters. "Boruto claimed he knew you two from an out-mission last year. You're from the Grass Village: Kusagakure."

Victoria nodded slightly. "I understand," she promised softly. "How long will it take for you guys to get supplies together for us?"

"We hope less than three days. We're worried about you being seen by someone else. Too many people around here met you in the past. It's best if we get you far away as soon as possible."

"Agreed." Victoria turned to meet Himawari's features. "And..we'll do our best. I know we haven't been the most impressive so far, but now that we know the goal, we'll do our very best."

"You impressed us," Himawari assured. "We wouldn't dare send you back if we didn't think you and Sam were something special. I mean..you got Uncle Kakashi to sing karaoke! And you convinced Sage Jiraiya to pay hospital bills _and_ buy you lunch. Are you certain you don't know genjutsu?"

Tori snorted loudly and her laughter seemed to finally catch the attention of the two fighters who turned to look at them both. Tori stumbled to her feet, ribs screaming angrily as she did. "Samantha Winters! That was incredible!" she cheered. "You looked like a full-on jounin doing those spars!"

Samantha, breathing heavily and hardly caring that sweat poured down her face, turned her attention towards her best friend, grinning wildly despite the taste of salt finding its way onto her tongue. She raised an arm and gave her trademark peace sign, raising the other fist high into the air. "Heck yeah! Did I really?" They had been at it for several hours at that point; a feat Samantha had no idea she had within her to accomplish. But, she loved sparing. She loved learning new tricks and feeling the thrill of excitement in her stomach when she would land a move perfectly. Every time, Sam would come to the realization that she was actually good at what she was doing, and she loved it. Not to mention the whole concept of her learning how to fight from _Hinata_ was thrilling in and of itself. Sam had been nearly beside herself when she realized the opportunity before her.

Earlier that morning, Sam had woken up, unable to sleep because of her chat with Boruto; and feeling the unsettling disturbance twist knots in her stomach, Samantha flipped the blanket off her person and made a trip to the bathroom. Ya know, a good place to wash up, brush teeth (which said toothbrushes had been so generously provided to Sam and Victoria the night before) and stare at your face in the mirror for just a minute too long before nodding to yourself you're ready to face the world once again. It was while she was awkwardly standing in the destroyed kitchen and dining room area that she met Hinata (a beautiful array of light filtered through the white tarp that covered enough of the outside to keep it outside). Well, it was more like being scared out of her wits by the infamous wife of Naruto Uzumaki. Hinata Hyūga Uzumaki ( _Namikaze_?), with all her grace, had quietly appeared behind Samantha and had cleared her throat (the initial cause of Sam's jump into outer space) and smiled with a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Hinata had said, her voice evertelling of the sweet quality of her personality. Sam had shifted awkwardly in her spot, laughed a brief embarrassed quip, before lifting her hand in a small wave and could only mutter "Hi." She could've smacked herself in the face for how utterly lacking in speech she proved to be. But whatever the case, Himawari and Boruto's excellent explanation of their appearance had appeased Hinata the night before and soon, breakfast was being made in the half-destroyed kitchen.

Mundane topics of interest had made Samantha relax enough to enjoy talking to Hinata rather than wonder if she would say too much and blow their cover. It was this wonderful camaraderie that Hinata had mention Himawari expressing Samantha's desire to learn to fight and how, if Sam was up for it, they could begin that afternoon when she got back from village clean-up. Such a tremor of excitement filled Sam's heart and suddenly she was caught by the urge to be out training with a professional ninja (and with _Hinata_ , a Konoha kunoichi!) no matter the form! Hurts and tired toes forgotten, she had eagerly offered to join HInata in her clean-up. That led to several hours of rubble shoveling and many trips to refill her water. But the many days spent wandering Konoha with Kakashi seemed to have prepared her; so that as soon as they got home, Sam eagerly donned a borrowed ninja outfit of Hinata's to spar in (an outfit which desperately needed a washing now!). It had taken a little while to learn the new techniques, of course, but then they had started the drills and it was so awesome! She could feel herself growing stronger with every punch and kick! She was so engulfed in her training, and the thrill that she was actually getting it filled Samantha's soul. She'd not even realized Tori had been watching. _When did she wake up? I hope she's feeling better!_ Sam, huffing and sweating profusely, walked over to her friend, ignoring the cement feel of her legs and the need to vomit as she did so.

"How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?"

Victoria let her eager smile fall away just for a second to reveal the pained grimace beneath her cheer, but then just as quickly slapped it back on. "Not great. Rested though, and full of ramen. Plus, if I'm half dead then I'm halfway to heaven, right?" She quipped even amidst Sam's quick glare for her death phrase.

 _Good grief, that girl_. Sam couldn't help the roll of her eyes. How many times had Tor gone and said she'd happily die if she could be in heaven? Too many to count. Even if the phrase was now empty, Sam still couldn't help but make a comment or glare at her friend because, well, Sam didn't know what she'd do without Victoria.

Tori then gave a small wave to Hinata - a move that seemed to have unconsciously became Tori and Sam's trademark since that first fateful encounter with the third hokage. "Thank you very, very much for letting us stay at your home. Your hospitality is a blessing to us."

Hinata smiled graciously, "It's no problem, really. We're glad to have friends of Boruto over."

"And teaching me karate! You're seriously the best," Sam gushed with a slight huff. After all, it wasn't every day one got to train with a legendary character from the Naruto-verse! Plus with the hours of training they had done, Sam was exhausted.

"It's really nothing," Hinata bashfully fluttered a hand in front of herself. "Just like doing genin training."

"Ah," Sam responded with a short laugh, "I guess it would be, wouldn't it?"

Hinata nodded, "Except you're a really fast learner. I'm quite impressed with how quickly you were able to learn the moves I had you learn."

With a small blush, Sam scratched her cheek, "Thanks!" She turned towards Tori once again, having briefly forgotten her friend was there with the small praise she'd received, "So, what's up? How was your day? Do anything interesting?"

"If you call sleeping interesting," Tori quipped. "Lots of snoring. A couple of weird dreams about my cats. Much healing of the head." She nodded sagely. "Oh, and I did get a chance to eat some Uzumaki ramen and..ta-da! I sewed my falling-out-of-trees hole up." Victoria showed off the neatly tied off seam over her left knee. "Very productive 24 hours, let me tell ya."

Sam snorted, even as she admired Victoria's sewing skills. "Uzumaki ramen? Wait… they made you ramen! I'm so jealous!"

"There's some on the stove.." Himawari said slowly, raising an eyebrow as she finally stood up to join the others.

Samantha glanced at Himawari with starry eyes, "Really!? Oh dude, it sounds so good! I always get hungry after working out." She laughed at herself, rubbing her stomach. "And sleepy, actually."

"Well, with how hard you've worked today, it's important to eat afterwards," Hinata chimed in, smiling.

"Heck yeah!" Sam agreed enthusiastically, throwing a fist up in the air.

Victoria was bemused when the party swiftly moved back into the kitchen for another round of ramen. Hanging out with Hinata and Himawari was really nice, mainly because they were both so nice! They were so quick to praise Sam's fighting skills and Tori's sewing skills. When they all had their fill of ramen, Himawari passed around strawberry pocky and gummy bears. Then Boruto came home and somehow or other Tori found herself having to strap on shoes and trudging out into the darkening night with Sam and the Uzumaki children. Apparently, Shikadai wanted to strategize.

* * *

"Nope. Sorry, but I got insist on this one," Tori said, folding her arms. "She might seem all nice and everything, but you have not seen what kind of a monstrous entity Sam becomes if she doesn't have clean socks. Ya gotta get her at least two extra pairs." Leaning over to the far left, she poked Sam in her shoulder-blade, calling her attention away from a conversation with Boruto over which weapons she wanted. "Sam: which is higher priority for you: extra pants or multiple socks?"

"Socks," Sam replied immediately. No hesitation. With pants, perhaps one extra pair, but c'mon. You could get away with wearing them at least twice a week without needing to wash them; but socks? Yeah, there needed to be at least a week's worth of pairs.

Boruto raised an eyebrow, looking between Victoria and Samantha almost incredulously, before he glanced down at the clipboard Shikadai had brought and wrote down Sam's need for multiple pairs of socks. "O-okay, we've got socks."

"And they've gotta be soft!"

"Right…"

"I got you, boo," Tori joked, giving Sam a fist bump. "Mkay. So that covers clothing needs then. Question, though. How are we gonna haul all this around and still blend in? Do you have a Mary Poppins jutsu for backpacks or something?"

"Oh oh!" Sam chirped up, raising her hand as if she were in a classroom, "I know the answer! They've got sealing scrolls!" At the ninja's confirmations, Sam then proceeded to ask, "But… we don't actually _know_ how to use chakra…"

"Like, we might not even have it.." Tori mused. "Or, the ability rather. Cuz its life force or something, right? Humans have that." She stared down at her soda bottle as though a whole universe of questions yawned beneath her at that thought. "How alien are we?" she whispered to the strawberry soda.

Sarada pushed her glasses up as she frowned at the two of them. "We can teach you," she said, with all the enthusiasm of a tween-Sasuke insulting Naruto's fashion choices. "You should have learned it as children, but we won't hold that against you." She then gave a tiny smile to soften the words.

"Tha-at's good, because I have a feeling this ain't gonna be very easy to use. 'Cause Tor is right. Do we even have chakra?" Sam glanced over at Victoria briefly before looking at the four ninja once again.

"Let's try it!" Boruto declared, his enthusiasm, in contrast, showing his own parentage to be of the blond and bouncy type. He whipped out a sealing scroll and tossed it down on the table. He then stole Tori's bottle from her hand and placed it on the center of the scroll. "Now you see it.." His hand signs were dizzyingly fast, but not as crazy quick as the ones Victoria had seen Kakashi do. There was a soft _poof_ as Boruto seemingly pressed the bottle flat into the paper, a new character of Japanese appearing where it had sat. "Now you don't."

"Awh man, my soda went flat," Tori punned, smirking at herself.

Sam burst out laughing, because Tori was just hilarious. She wiped a fake tear from her eye, "Oh man, Tor, that was good." She giggled again, giving Victoria a high five. Boruto smirked, Shikadai rolled his eyes, and Sarada and Mitsuki both blinked, though it seemed to Sam that Sarada was trying her darndest not to smile. "So… when do we get to try it?"

Between Boruto, Sarada, and Himawari, they managed to explain that, more or less, the women needed to push some of their chakra into the scroll at the same time that they imagined the item popping out of the scroll and into their hand. After a few minutes, Sarada made Sam a separate scroll with a package of pocky to practice on.

Success did not come quickly…

"Try saying something as you do it," Boruto coached Sam. Like 'Release!' It can help you focus your chakra."

"So chakra is more like a current or wave of light then necessarily a muscle," Tori clarified, frowning thoughtfully. Her forty-fifth attempt didn't yield a result like its predecessors, but maybe she needed to find her own focus method. "Hmm..that reminds me of something from theater camp.." Taking a step back, Victoria held her hands in front of her, a few inches apart and slowly began to rotate both palms in opposite directions until she felt the unsettling sensation of an invisible ball forming between her hands. _I'm gonna feel stupid if this somehow works_.. Picturing her soda bottle in as much detail as she could, she smacked her palm on the scroll before she lost the sensation of the energy ball. "What the heck!" she shrieked as not only did the bottle come shooting out of the scroll but flew about five feet in the air.

"You did it!" Himawari cheered as Sarada effortlessly caught the bottle before it could hit the table.

Sam looked over at Tori jealously, frowning down at her own work. Which was nothing. Sam had tried just as many times as Victoria, but still felt nothing. Sam knew she was being childish with her pout but… being able to use chakra was just such a thrilling idea, that if she were never able to use it? _Man, that would suck_ she thought, glumly.

"What's it supposed to feel like, exactly?" She asked Sarada. "An energy, you said? But how in the world do you push it out? It doesn't seem to be working for me…" It was times when she failed that she didn't wanna keep going. If she sucked, why continue if she was never gonna get it? Except her personal motto that she'd had for herself for the last several years, at least, was that anyone could do anything with hard work. If you put effort into it, you can do it and be just as good. _I guess I can't give up now and be a hypocrite to myself!_ She thought, and looked towards Sarada as the ninja answered her question.

Sarada placed one finger on the side of her jaw as her lips twisted into a thoughtful frown. "Your chakra… it's a plane inside of you, that correlates to your body itself: the muscles and bones, but isn't physically in the same space. It's more of in-between: like the mortar between the bricks of a wall."

"Picture it like the tingly feeling when your foot falls asleep," Himawari suggested.

"It felt like flinching when a rock hits the windshield as you're driving," Tori offered, "Like your consciousness is more than just you." She was rolling her palms again now that Boruto had re-sealed the bottle for her. "I dunno. It was weird. But also, like, felt normal? I dunno. It's really, really hard to describe." Hesitantly, she edged near the table, suddenly way more nervous about it not working a second time than whether or not it would work the first time. "I'm trying to imagine that my energy or spirit is rolling up in my hands and then I'm gonna try to shove the bottle out with it." Tori more gently pressed her palm against the scroll and was instantly rewarded with the bright pink bottle. Boruto resealed it for her and Sam watched a little despairingly as it popped happily back out as soon as Victoria tried. Shaking her head, Sam turned her eyes and focus back to her own stubborn scroll.

"A ball of energy. A ball of energy." Sam muttered, mimicking what Tori had done and trying to understand what both Sarada and Himawari were talking about. "What if I don't have the ability to wield chakra? Kinda like Rock Lee? Wait… he can at least use a small portion of chakra… he walks on water after all…" Sam frowned at herself. She was always so logical of a person. Despite her faith in God, she still was quite logical about life in general. Sam was even quite sure she'd never be able to be hypnotized because of how logical she was. So… how did that relate to trying to use chakra?

Glancing over at Tori once more, Sam couldn't help the pout as her friend had made yet another successful round of pulling out the drink from the scroll.

"Don't worry, it just takes practice," Sarada encouraged. Himawari nodded her head, also. The boys simply agreed with the girls, and Sam blew out a breath. "Try saying 'release,'" She muttered, repeating Boruto's earlier words. She continued moving her hands in a circular motion against each other, nearly touching, going opposite directions. As she concentrated for what seemed like forever, Sam felt a tingle in her palms. Felt it like static electricity when you accidentally shock yourself. "Is this it? I think this is it!" She then slammed her hand against the scroll and yelled "Release!" The backlash against her palm caused her to fall backwards onto her back. With a small cough and bringing her elbows up to a more sitting position, Sam glanced at the scroll and an ounce of glee fluttered her stomach as she noticed her very own pocky having popped out of the scroll. "I did it!" She cried out, joyfully. "Yes!"

"Woot! Woot! Go, Sam!" Tori cheered, pumping her fist in the air, almost catching Boruto's ear with said fist. "You're a real ninja now, girl!"

The blond teenager rubbed his ear. "You're louder than Cho-Cho," he complained, gesturing for Tori to refocus. "You're still doing Tiger wrong. It's left pinkie then right pinkie.."

"Oh sorry! Like this?"

Himawari stepped forward, cutting off the sight of Tori who had already moved on to learning how to seal. The blue eyed girl gave Sam a wide grin. "You actually got a really good amount of chakra gathered that time, Samantha-Chan," she said encouragingly. "Much more than you needed for a release. Try it again, but ease back just a bit. Don't want to wear out too fast!"

"Okay! Sounds like a plan. Yay for being a kinesthetic learner!" Sam chimed gleefully, not expanding on what that meant to the confused shinobi. And so they continued to practice for at least another half an hour before Himawari gasped a little and turned her head.

"Someone's watching," Himawari said suddenly, her face strained and alien under the jutting veins that indicated an activated Byakugan. Her finger pointing to the west window was all the warning the team needed: suddenly they were on high alert. Boruto darted out the back door as shadows streaked across the floor from where Shikadai stood and out the window to chase the intruder. From a distance came the muffled sound of Boruto talking and then the front door of their borrowed house eased back open, the moonlight and nearby lamp revealing Sarada, a blond fluff that was Boruto's hair, and a third figure still in shadow.

"Oh. Hey, sensei.." Sarada said slowly from the front entrance that she had darted out to cover. "What are you doing here?"

From behind Sarada's small red form finally appeared a rather attractive man creature with the kind of casually ruffled brown hair that always made Sam's heart patter a little faster. His bright blue eyes seemed to widen a little in recognition as he took in the sight of their plotting. Victoria looked instantly to Sam. Sam didn't need the bright blue scarf to recognize the handsome anbu member, but the consistency of fashion choices always helped make her feel more confident in her assumptions. Grinning widely, she unconsciously clenched her fists in her happy-victory-move. "Konohamaru!" she whispered to Tori in explanation.

"Kona-who-maru?"

"Konohamaru. The third Hokage's grandson and Boruto's team's sensei!"

The man in question had his arms folded as he stared each and every one of them down. "What's going on here?" Konohamaru asked.

Sam could imagine that if this had been animated, there'd be sweat drops along every one of their temples. This was an unexpected development, from the expressions of their new shinobi friends.

"...Study party?" Victoria offered belatedly. She shrugged at the look Shikadai shot her. _It's not like any of them were saying anything!_

"Uh huh," their sensei said, disbelief evident in his voice. "Ri-ight," he drawled, "I'm sure a study party is exactly what you're doing." Konohamaru let his gaze sweep over his team, briefly glancing at Himawari and Shikadai, before his unsettling gaze looked at Samantha and Victoria. Sam's stomach gave a jolt as she looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure why. Anxiety maybe? But his look promised nothing good. She gulped.

"Well we aren't breaking and entering at least!" Victoria said brightly. "Sarada had a key." She gave a nervously winsome smile. "Um. Hi. So… what's your name?"

Konohamaru sighed, swiping a hand through his hair, "So that's how we're gonna play this, eh? You're gonna act like you don't know me."

Sam scrunched her eyebrow. Clearly she'd said his name. What game was _he_ playing at. Was _he_ trying to mess with _their_ heads? Considering the brief time they had been in the village with Kakashi, there was no possible way he'd remember who they were, even if he _had_ seen them. After all, he'd been like… four or something at the time. Definitely no way he'd remember them. "Uh…" Sam said, eloquently, "Well, we've never met you, before."

"You seem very nice though," Tori offered hopefully, "Very..shinobily.."

"These two women were found down by the railway center," Mitsuki said, his sudden appearance over Tori's left-shoulder making the woman nearly fall over in shock. "Is there a problem with us assisting them, Sensei?"

Konohamaru's forehead crinkled up fiercely as he frowned at the baffled Samantha and Tori. "We must see what Lady Tsunade has to say about this," he finally declared, his two hands fisted at his hips.

Sam perked up a moment, despite the concerning situation, "What, what, what? We're gonna see Lady Tsunade!?" The excitement practically flowed from her psyche as Sam turned towards Tori, tapping her arm quickly, "Tor! Tori! We're gonna meet Tsunade!" She'd whispered, but stupid ninja ears could always hear whispers.

"Sue..naughty.." Tori said slowly, the gears in her mind whirring to try to grab details out of the half-remembered Sam-Rants. "Oh! Jiraiya wishes he could get her, she's busty, and likes to drink? Also really smart, strong ninja? ...Blond hair?"

"Uh, Tori… probably not the greatest thing you should be mentioning right now." Sam sweat dropped, "But you've definitely pegged her."

"Did the red head just call our Hokage busty?" Mitsuki asked, looking to Boruto and Sarada. Shikadai simply slapped his forehead, muttering a small "troublesome," while Himawari giggled. Konohamaru looked stunned for a moment, before he composed himself and cleared his throat.

"Be that as it may, you need to come with me." He turned on his heel, "Boruto, Sarada, Mitsuki, apprehend them and follow me." His team looked at each other, baffled, Boruto sighed with what sounded like exasperation while Sarada frowned. Mitsuki's expression was blank, as if he didn't have anything to say about the matter. The three shinobi ushered Samantha and Victoria along. Boruto gave a silent nod to Shikadai and Himawari who somehow understood his silent thoughts before leaving as quietly as a leaf falling to the ground.

"Apprehend them?" Tori repeated in a whisper to Sam as they trudged reluctantly along. "What are we, dine-and-dashers? We're not criminals, thank you."

"Seriously. Who does he think he is! Even if he was Naruto's apprentice," Sam muttered. "He's got no right to act like we're gonna blow up his village. Good grief!" She could feel the irritation flowing quickly in her veins as Sam silently agreed with Victoria.

"Well, I mean, we could have blown up his village..." Victoria mused, still whispering.

"What!" Sam nearly screeched.

"If we were crazy bad invading ninjas," the other girl continued, finishing her original thought.

"But we're _not._ "

"But he couldn't have known that..."

"Do we _look_ like hardened criminal ninja with abilities to pounce? I think not." Sam gestured to the whole of herself and Victoria.

"I dunno, Sam. You got pretty-crazy eyed over your socks earlier…" Tori drawled teasingly.

"What!" Sam screeched, this time for real. "As if _that_ would mean _anything_ to a hardened shinobi." She huffed, folding her arms.

"I'm sure ninja battles have been waged over lesser reasons than the honor of Samantha Winters' socks," Tori said, still trying to speak in an undertone even if Sam wasn't.

"What!" Sam continued in her screeching, giving up on whispering. Seriously, _was Tori_ trying _to convince her of their criminalness?_ "You have _got_ to be kidding me."

Boruto, Sarada, and Mitsuki, unbeknownst to the two women, stared wide eyed with unconcealed amusement on their faces. Konohamaru, in contrast, hunched forward, but whether to hide a laugh or because he was annoyed, Tori couldn't tell.

"I'm just saying, he's not wrong," Tori said placatingly, "To think that we maybe, possibly could be a threat."

"That's such a bunch of bullcrap!" Sam said, incredulous, "You're saying he'd think we're criminals because of my _socks!_ "

"No, I'm saying he might just be trying to take us to ninja jail because we _could_ be crazy sock-wielding criminals. Not that we _are_."

"Oh good grief!" Sam grumbled, "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard."

"I can assure you," Konohamaru drawled from in front of them, "You're not being apprehended because of your sock fetish."

"It is _not_ a fetish! I just like socks, okay?"

Victoria snorted loudly. "This guy has your number, Sam," Tor whispered between giggles.

"Oh shush," Sam whispered back with a roll of her eyes, then turned towards their captor; because, essentially, that was what Konohamaru was at that time. "Fine then. Why _are_ you apprehending us, then?"

"Currently, that's classified information," Konohamaru responded and Sam stared at him feeling slightly confused by his tone of voice. She couldn't quite tell if he was angry with them, or what his whole deal was. _Alrighty then..._ Sam mimicked "The Mask's" voice in her own head.

"Um, excuse me," Tori said with her very best politeness. "But, my friend and I are freaking out just a tiny bit - "

"Only because of you mentioning my _socks!_ " Sam couldn't help but mutter.

"Maybe give us a hint? Was it the partying with minors? Too much strawberry soda to be within the legal limit? Or - oh, no. It was the chakra-wielding without a permit, wasn't it?"

"I'm pretty sure you don't need a permit to wield chakra," Sam giggled with a small snort.

"I'm not permitted to give you reason. You'll know once you talk with Lady Tsunade." Konohamaru simply explained without giving any information whatsoever.

"Wow… you'd think he took pointers from Kakashi or something," Sam muttered, remembering his introduction to Naruto's team seven.

Victoria sighed a little wistfully. "I miss his royal hotness," she declared. "Has it really only been two days? Feels like 24 years."

Sam giggled, "I'm sure you'll see him again someday." Though, was she actually _sure_ of that? Nope. Not in the slightest.

"And I thought I was the optimist.." Victoria murmured as their unlikely squad stepped into the shadow of the round and imposing Hokage tower. "I recognize this place. ...Looks like it could use a coat of paint.." Hyperbolic as always, Victoria was not wrong. Thanks to the freshly repaired streetlights, this part of town was actually fairly visible in the night, so it was easy to view the creative destruction that the most recent attack had left behind. The distinct beehive shaped building in front of them looked like it had been redesigned by Salvador Dali and his buddy, Esher. There were blown out walls, staircases no longer leading anywhere, and the east side appeared to have been melted somehow. And yes, the paint was a little faded to an ugly salmony rust. _I don't suppose we can blame that part on the Ko-whacky ninja, though.._ Sam gave Tori's elbow a small nudge to coax her to keep walking. The small motion served to remind Victoria's ribs to ache again. She grimaced a little at them, but obediently continued to trot after the others. The hallways of the half-standing tower were crammed with salvaged office supplies like desks, computer towers, and chairs. A forest of filing boxes stacked to the ceiling indicated a mad-dash to get valuable equipment out of the elements. For a moment, it seemed to strike Victoria just how awful it must be to constantly have the world turned upside down and inside out. Like… going to work was bad and annoying enough, but imagine going to work and having to shovel half a ton of dirt off where your cubicle used to be? And it wasn't like you could just wait for an insurance company to pay someone else to do it if it was your whole freaking village. Also… did ninja villages even have insurance? Who the heck would write them a policy? Was there a discount for having a jinchuriki around?

In the few minutes it took Tori to muse over the potential deductible for a shinobi insurance policy, they came to a stop outside an imposing set of doors on the second floor. Two vest-clad warriors stood outside the office doors, their faces impassive and guarded. Konohamaru pointed meaningfully at first Sam and then Victoria as he gave a stern glance at his three teammates. "Watch them." He then stuck his head in. Seemingly satisfied with who was in the room, he opened the door and stepped in a few feet. There was an exchange of words that was too low for the non-ninjas to hear and then the blue-scarfed man came back, jerking the door fully open and beckoning Sam and Tori to enter. When Boruto started to follow, Konohamaru frowned and held up a hand. "Not you three." The door was firmly shut against the protesting chunnins.

The two Earth-women exchanged slightly nervous glances before slowly crossing the carpet. A huge, oak desk had been shoved slightly into one corner as stacks and stacks of legal-sized papers dwarfed it. A computer monitor showing a few oddly fist-shaped dents flickered sullenly on one side of the desk. A beautiful woman (both very blond and very busty) was staring at the screen; its blue light making the odd, purplish diamond in the center of her forehead almost seem to glow. This had to be Tsunade! Everything about her was exactly the Sannin that Samantha had described: confident air, sharply intelligent eyes, ageless beauty, and if her beaten-up computer could be evidence, wickedly strong with just a little bit of a temper.

The second Samantha saw the fifth Hokage, her eyes blinked rapidly, unable to help it when she was seeing the real deal Legendary Sannin. Her mouth dropped slightly and Samantha found she was speechless. It was just _so cool! It's_ the _Tsunade! She's so flippin' awesome!_

As though she could hear Sam's thoughts, Tsunade's gaze finally shot from the screen to the group and then back to the screen. An odd look crossed her insanely even features and then she looked back again, slowly straightening in her chair. She gave the two of them a long measuring glance and then sighed. "Dammit."

Tori's eyes widened as the fifth Hokage leaned over and rummaged around in a drawer. She placed a tiny ceramic cup on the table and began to pour a generous amount of sharp-smelling sake into it. Tsunade then proceeded to drink straight from her bottle as she held out the glass to Konohamaru. When the almost-full bottle was totally empty, (it was a verrrrrry long drink she took), Tsunade set it down on the table, wiped the back of her lip and then sighed. "And I thought the worst thing to happen this week was being forced back out of retirement." She looked Sam and Tori up and down. "Clearly that was being optimistic.."

Samantha blinked again, this time with slight confusion. "Is our presence really that much of a burden?" she nudged Victoria and whispered, "Hey, hey, we're not _that_ terrible, right? I mean… it's not like we've done anything to even make people notice us."

"We stole Jiraiya's frog," Victoria whispered back. "And you've told me before that my puns were enough to land me in jail."

"I have?" Sam's eyebrows scrunched together, wonderingly.

"If not, you probably should have."

"Hah!" Sam snorted, before she remembered they were in the presence of Konohamaru and Lady Tsunade. Konohamaru's admittedly quite handsome features were scowled up into a frown big enough to hold buckets of disappointment, frustration, and anger all at once.

"Seriously?" he demanded. "Seriously. All you two ever do is joke."

Victoria took a half-step back, one hand pressed against her sore ribs protectively. A nervous laugh tickled the back of her throat but she swallowed it down. "Ner-nervous habit," she mumbled. "We, um. We're sorry for whatever happened that - Whatever happened."

Lady Tsunade's brown eyes narrowed. "After everything that happened, Victoria, a mere apology is far from enough to make up for what you two did in the desert. The Village of the Hidden Leaf still hasn't truly recovered from the consequences of that day."

"What?" Sam sputtered. She had felt hurt by Konohamaru's words but was totally blindsided and stunned by what Tsunade said. _How'd she know Tori's name? What was she even talking about?_ What _day?_

Victoria's mind raced. The desert? Everything that happened? But nothing had happened and they certainly hadn't been to the desert! _At least, not yet…_ But, clearly for these two people something _had_ happened, which meant something had _yet_ to happen for her and Sam. Which meant the future, _this_ future was already or rather had already been shaped by something in the past that hadn't even happened yet! _Ah! Freaking time travel! But, no, wait. This is helpful. If the future we are in is shaped by our traveling, that means that we aren't creating new pant-legs with each jump. That means the past is changeable to a degree, but not to the point that it totally messes everything up and causes Boruto's original timeline to cease to exist._ Which was actually a huge relief. Victoria had had nightmares of getting stuck in a H. -esque inevitable loop or accidentally erasing the events that had triggered the original time-travel and thus erasing her own self right out of the universe. A pressure already started to build behind her left eyebrow at the dizzying when-ifs of possibilities, but mainly, she felt a little relief, which was especially bizarre considering how bleak things were looking at that very moment.

Samantha's mind was also racing with thoughts of time-travel. Not because she was concerned about the changing affects, but the mere thought that these two apparently knew them from something they had done in the past, yetk it was the her's and Tori's future… it was definitely confusing. _This kind of time travel makes sense, though. But wait… how long are we supposed to be in this world, then? And what did she mean the desert? What could we have possibly done?_

"I don't understand!" Sam finally sputtered her confusion, trying to bring up the fact that for them, they'd hardly been in this world for very long and hadn't managed to do anything horrible in that timeframe, "We haven't actually _done_ anything. Tori and I… we've only been here for like… a day or so and before then… it's just… well…"

"Just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it didn't happen." Tsunade sighed, massaging the bridge of her nose.

Konohamaru shook his head, a small measure of disgust darkening his frown further. "That's right. We still have to deal with the fallout even if you get to skip out and start over."

Victoria frowned and looked at Sam. "I… don't really know what either of you are talking about," she said slowly, "But I don't think we are the people you are looking for…"

Tsunade snapped her fingers at Konohamaru who reached into the inner pocket of his tactical vest and pulled out a slim leather-bound pamphlet that he handed to the hokage-emeterius. Lady Tsunade flicked through a couple of pages and then turned it around for them to see. Victoria's mouth fell open to see a picture of Sam staring back at her - and there was her! Tori on the other page! They looked like mug shots. Several lines of Japanese text were printed beside each picture and a large S was inscribed in the upper corner of the page. "Samantha Winters. Victoria Lexington. Former friends of the Hidden Leaf, now considered rogue shinobi. Apprehend on sight. Highly dangerous." She pointed an accusing finger at the text. "This is what we had to do. You left me absolutely no other choice. You're lucky. Rokudaime Hokage Hatake convinced the council we prefered you alive over dead."

For the second time in less than twenty minutes, Sam was speechless. She stared at the picture, surprised to see herself looking like herself but… her physical appearance seemed off. Like, thinner. Sharper. A look at Tori's picture and Sam could see the same thing. Tori's appearance looked different, too. And to be considered rogue shinobi? "How is that even possible?" Sam muttered to herself, trying her darndest to read the Japanese script. She recognized the hiragana and katakana - could even pronounce them - and recognized some of the kanji, but had no idea what it said. _Dang… if only I'd studied more frequently!_ Sam looked up at Tsunade, who never lost her angry frown, resting her chin in her hands - then over to Konohamaru who, for all his disgust and anger, seemed to have something akin to regret and disappointment written over his face. She wondered if they saw the differences. Or if they thought that the changes happened over time?

"We trusted you two, but we won't make that same mistake again," Tsunade continued, "Cat! Scorpion! Apprehend these two rogue shinobi on charges of desertion."

"What!" Sam panicked, astonished to see two masked shinobi appear out of nowhere and grabbed her arms, "No! This is a mistake! C'mon!" She desperately looked at Konohamaru's pained face, hoping for some kind of comfort from him but found no solace there, then towards Tori being manhandled by, who Sam assumed, was Scorpion. They shared a panicked look as Sam struggled.

"Excuse me! I will comply if you stop yanking me around!" Victoria declared in her best offended-lady voice. "I happen to have a broken rib right now, Mr. Scorpion!"

"Gag them until you reach the holding cells," Tsunade instructed. "Last thing we need right now is one of you struck by their genjutsu. You'll be transported to Maximum Security Prison in the morning."

"Gag?!" Victoria protested, trying to jerk away from the ninja with the incredibly creepy mask. His grip on her wrist was iron and in between one breath and the next he twisted her arm harshly up behind her back. Scorpion jerking her arm the way he did yanked against her broken rib, and her chest erupted in white fire - at least that's what it felt like to someone who had spent so little of her life in physical pain. Victoria screamed until a piece of fabric suddenly cut into her jaw and pressed her tongue up against her teeth. It tasted horrible, if anyone wanted to know.

"Don't hurt her! Frick, get your hands off me!" Sam struggled, trying to remove herself out of the anbu's vice-like grip. Remembering the training she'd had with Hinata on top of the Kenpo she'd done where she was from, Samantha twisted her hands against the anbu's wrists, trying to strike them with her knuckles and then went in for a strike to his groin. However, he seemed to predict her movements and Sam's arms were roughly pulled up behind her, then quickly put a piece of fabric in her mouth, tying it around her head. Without knowing she'd completely agreed with Tori's assessment of the fabric. Sam felt like she really wanted to gag at the taste. She screamed a little, still struggling against the anbu, unable to stop her terrified gaze from looking towards Konohamaru and Tsunade.

Konohamaru had looked down, a large frown on his face, as if he couldn't handle watching them being taken away. Tsunade continued to watch, and when Sam met Tsunade's eyes, Sam thought she saw regret hidden behind the fifth Hokage's gaze. But that was a thought that Sam wouldn't remember for quite a while.

Through all of her struggling - doing her best to be released from the anbu's hold (which Sam was _sure_ they were enforcing with chakra. She felt something tingling against her skin where their vice like grip was) - the anbu became frustrated and Sam felt a strike against her neck and promptly fell unconscious.

* * *

Since this whole… "adventure"… had started, Sam and Tori had joked often about being thrown in ninja jail. ...The actuality of it was not nearly so entertaining. They weren't in the actual prison yet - the blood prison and its moat of lava was several days journey away after all - but the holding cells were pretty grim just on their own. The hokage tower's sub-basement was _cold_ and damp and had lots of spiders. There were no windows and the electric lights were behind very thick yellow glass. The room they were in had four cells framed off by thick rows of iron bars. There was no furniture, just a flat bench-like platform at the back of each 3 meter by 3 meter cell. The faceless anbu had locked them both in without removing the gags or the hand restraints. This didn't change until after a very nervous looking Shizune came down several hours later to check on the finally-conscious Sam and sent a good burst of healing chakra into Tori's ribs. As she was leaving, the anbu with her - he wore a cat-face - untied Tori's and then Sam's wrists in turn with the instruction that they were not to remove their gags until Shizune-San had left. As he turned to leave, Victoria noted with confusion that a pair of bright yellow ear plugs were tucked into the shinobi's ears. Victoria whimpered softly to herself as she rubbed her aching wrists and shoulders. "Now I really wanna go home," she mumbled weakly. She looked across the bars separating her and Sam and felt her chin trembling with unshed tears. "You okay, Sam?"

Sam rubbed her wrists and massaged her neck. "Physically? I'm super sore…" she glanced at her friend, her eyes aching from exhaustion. Being thrown unconscious without your consent really did a number on the kind of rest you got. Sam's stomach twisted as she remembered all that had transpired. "Emotionally? I… don't know what to feel. I think I'm kinda numb to it all, actually. I don't really feel anything." She sighed as she glanced towards Victoria. "How are you holding up? Shizune did some more medical jutsu on you… did that help?"

"A little," she said softly. "I… I am not feeling so strong empowered female right now though. What the heck have we gotten ourselves in-into?" Her chin trembled even more and she hated the feeling of helplessness that she could feel jittering through her. "It's like our lives aren't even our own." A sob caught her throat and the stupid tears spilled over. "What - what are we gonna do?" she gasped.

Samantha came to rest next to the bars to be as much of a support to Tori as possible. As much as Sam's stomach twisted with the idea that they'd be locked up in some high-end shinobi prison, she didn't want to think that this was where their adventure ended. God would not curse them to such a cruel fate when there _must_ have been a reason they were there, right? "I… I don't know what we'll do. But… this isn't the end! I can't just believe that we'll end up at that prison." Honestly, the very idea didn't even seem _real_. "And… we'll figure out a way to get out of here! We're already considered rogue shinobi," Sam smiled half-heartedly, "So… so…." tugging her hands into the pockets of her pants, Sam felt the familiar, and now comforting, smoothness of the marble.

"I just try to be a good person!" Tori blubbered through her upset tears. She rubbed sharply at her cheeks as though it would push the tears back inside. Tori hated crying when she was scared; it just made her feel more scared and angry at herself. "I shouldn't have to go prison!" She clenched her hands into tight fists: fingernails biting into the soft skin of her palms. "This sucks! Freaking Boruto!"

Sam snorted at Tori's angry rant on Boruto while she played with the marble, letting it roll back and forth between her fingers in her pocket, thinking about all the things they'd been through within the last week and a half. That's when it struck her.

"Dude… dude! Victoria! I don't think we're gonna be going to that prison!" Excitement swelled within Sam as her thoughts began to swirl.

"Why not?" Tori, asked sniffling. Her heart jumped hopefully before her mind yelled sharply at it to stop being an idiot. "Did you remember something? Did a Boruto episode talk about a prison break?"

"Uh, well, no." Sam grimaced, "It's just… Tsunade spoke as if we'd already been friends. In fact, so did Konohamaru. Which _means_ ," she emphasized, "We somehow hang out with them and become friends with Konoha! Which _means_ that we, well… either we bust out of that blood prison, or… we never go there in the first place." With hands shaking, either due to excitement or fear of being found out by actual shinobi, Sam pulled out the marble, giving the greatest example of her theory to Victoria as she possibly could, "I've still got the marble!"

"You - " Tori stumbled to her feet and over to the bars. "You have the marble," she breathed, hope coming back to life in her heart. "That means we _can_ get out of here! We just have to hold out 'til Boruto makes it do the sparkly light thing!" Reaching through the bars, she grabbed Sam's arms and laughed away the last of her tears. "I never thought I'd be so happy to see that freaking marble in my life!"

Sam smiled triumphantly, feeling a rush of relief at the thought that they didn't or wouldn't stay in prison for long. As she and Tori jumped (well, jumped _ish_ ) for joy, a frown played on Sam's lips again. "I hope Boruto doesn't take too long. Does he even know we're here? No, stupid question, of course they do. They walked us to the hokage tower. If we never left with Konohamaru… did they see us being apprehended? I…. was unconscious." Sam rubbed her neck again. It was still super sore! She was sure she'd have a bruise where that anbu smacked her.

Victoria nodded, her own memories of that moment very clear. Boruto had been incensed when his team leader had re-appeared with Sam and Tori in cuffs and escorted by the creepy masked anbu people. The fifteen-year-old shinobi shouting and Tsunade yelling right back in turn had amped up Tori's anxiety levels even worse than the gag that made her feel like she couldn't breathe. "Yeah. He did. He yelled a lot of questions at 'Granny'. Which reminds me - are they related? I mean, the blond..kinda looks like they could be?"

"Nah, Naruto has always called Tsunade 'baa-chan' which, essentially, means granny. Seems his son took the phrase to heart."

"Oh. So just like Himawari calling Kakashi 'uncle.'"

"Exactly!"

"I'll figure it all out someday," Tori sighed. She chewed her lip. "So… I guess for now things are kinda stuck until Boruto gets the marble up and running again. I… just hope they don't separate us-"

"Yeah that would suck,"

"-Based on the frog thing, we probably have to be physically touching for the marble to bring us both." Sam's phone, after all, hadn't made the original trip since it was out of reach. "But… hey, if they do, please save the world quickly, Sam-Sam so I don't lose all my youth and beauty while in prison, neh?"

Sam giggled. Even in a dark, depressing dank cell, Tori could still make her laugh, "I'm pretty sure it's not just gonna be me, ya know." Sam bit her lip, "Besides… we're only here to bring Naruto and Kakashi back… well, according to Boruto, that is. That's the whole reason we're in this mess in the first place."

"Save Kakashi… save the world. It's the same thing really," Victoria declared breezily. "Right?"

"Um, well, no. But yes? I guess?" Sam conceded. She shrugged, "I'd say it's more about Naruto. Naruto's the one who defeated the bad guy in the 4th shinobi world war, and, _not to mention_ , brought Sasuke back. So… I'd say he's pretty darn important."

"You always think it's about the main character."

"That's because it is," Sam deadpanned.

Victoria leaned the side of her cheek against the cold metal bar. "Spoken like a true main character yourself. And look what you got us into, Sam." Tori continued above Sam's 'what!' "If I was the main character, we'd still be back at Kakashi's house blushing and awkwardly running into him as he was coming out of the bath. His hair gently dripping… the towel just almost too low on his hips... Shojo world beats shonen world. For sure."

"Heck no! Shonen is the best! Dude… _action sequences!_ "

"How are you the one of us who has had three different boyfriends?"

"Technically it was only two." Sam brought her fingers up for extra effect. "The other dude was…. well, just a make-out buddy."

"I guess my standards are just too high for mere Earth mortals," Tori declared with the utmost facetiousness.

"Pfft, Standards, shmandards. Kissing is the best!" Sam gave Tori a cheeky grin. Because, well, Sam wasn't wrong.

"That Konohammer was right. All we do is make jokes. It's probably a good thing he arrested us."

"As if making jokes is a bad thing," Sam glared at the memory of being manhandled, "That man… I can't believe how angry he was! That was just really stupid." Sam huffed, wrapping her arms against herself, "It's not like we're really _that_ dangerous in comparison. If we were… man… these shinobi must be pretty pathetic." _That's kind of a disappointment when I think about it…_ "To think _we're_ dangerous! Hah!"

"Jiraiya said we made his ears bleed. And he was a sannin. So...guess that explains the ear plugs."

"Yeah right! He just was sick of our karaoke." Sam scoffed.

"It's secretly our greatest weapon," Tori agreed. "So maybe we should just sing until these prison walls come tumbling down like Jericho."

"'The walls will tumble, the walls will tumble, but I'm not gonna cry! …One more mile to Jericho,'" Sam sang the Hilary Duff song.

* * *

Three days was a long time to spend in a concrete box, but at least the two ladies had each other. And since their jailors apparently were afraid of them inexplicably turning hypnotic siren on them, they got to spend it in relative privacy. ("So weird to have the ninjas for once _not_ trying to eavesdrop.." Tori pointed out at one point. "And we complain about the NSA back home. They clearly could learn a thing or two from the Anbu!") So they spent most of it talking, complaining, and yes, occasionally singing. At one point on the second morning Tsunade had actually showed up herself to say that they were waiting on enough qualified jōnin to be available for escort duty. She had said more cryptic things about the mysterious desert incident, but it just left Sam and Tori with more questions than answers.

But then, finally! Hope arrived. Hope, in this case, was the bright blond vision of Boruto bearing a picnic basket with Sarada close behind. The anbu guard, a cow today, was very reluctant to allow such a suspicious object into the cell with two dangerous criminals. "Awh, come on! It's just some snacks from my house," Boruto argued, drawing the curiosity of Sam and Tori. "You know the rations here are crappy and these guys are my friends!"

"Just give it up, Boruto," Sarada sighed, pushing up her glasses. "I told you it was pointless."

The blond huffed grumpily and finally held out the basket in a very grudging manner. "Fine. But if you eat even one of those chips, Iwabi, I'm gonna tell Granny Tsunade."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

Hands shoved deeply into his pockets, the teenager skulked down the rest of the stairs into the sub-basement.

Sound of the fight could be heard from where Sam and Tori were held, making Sam's heart pound with excitement. "Tori! It's Boruto! They've come to save us!" She whispered, her eyes trying to find sight of the stairs. Unfortunately, their holding cells were facing another holding cell across from them, with their visuals impaired by the long hallway on either side. Sam didn't leave her position of holding tightly onto the bars of the cell, trying her best to see their new shinobi friends. If Boruto and Sarada and Mitsuki were here, then they'd definitely come to save Sam and Victoria from their horrible fate.

To Sam's confusion, Mitsuki wasn't there, but Boruto and Sarada came down the hallway; Boruto with a large grin, hands casually in his pockets, while Sarada had a soft smile on her own face.

"You two look like death," Boruto said, giving them a once over. He quickly covered up the slight frown that cropped up when he spotted their appearance.

"Well, it kinda feels like we've been through the ringer," Sam said, honestly. "So…? Did you come to save us?"

"What! Of course not!" Boruto's voice exaggerated while Sarada rolled her eyes. Boruto pulled his hands out of his pockets and grabbed Sam's hands off the bars, holding them steadfastly. "There's no way we'd be able to break you out of here. After all, you're dangerous shinobi!" Though he was saying one thing, his eyes looked pointedly at Sam's hand, and Sam could feel something being slipped into her grip. She blinked a minute, trying to grasp the differences between what he was saying and what his eyes were looking at.

"Right…" She finally replied, slowly pulling her arms by her side, glancing in one of her palms to notice a small piece of paper there. Though bewildered, Sam didn't acknowledge the paper. If Boruto and Sarada were making terrible efforts to announce what they were _not_ here for, then it'd be best that she said nothing. Right? Right.

"You...you know we aren't actually dangerous, right?" Victoria said softly, looking worriedly at the two. "At least, not for any reason we know of..yet?" She looked between Boruto and Sarada. "I don't suppose you two figured out what it was we are going to someday do that landed us in here?"

Sarada shook her head slightly. "I'm afraid not, Tori-Chan," she said. She shot a glance to Sam and then smiled slightly as Sam discreetly tucked the small paper into the pocket of her much-traveled skinny jeans. "It's considered highly classified information apparently."

"Well… do you think… there'd be any chance I could get my hat back?" Sam asked, her eyes hopeful. "I really like that hat!" _And it was expensive!_

"Oh, please don't give it to her," Victoria protested. Sam protested Victoria's protest, but Tori continued without falter. "It causes lots of problems. But could you keep it safe for us maybe? Until, you know, we save the world and bring back your dad?"

Sam rolled her eyes, "You _do_ know that saving Kakashi isn't _actually_ saving the world, right?"

Tori narrowed her eyes at Sam. "Don't embarrass me in front of the kids."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam replied, her eyes glimmering with amusement.

"I'm sure your hat will pop up some time," Boruto assured Sam with a little wink. "Awesome equipment for traveling shinobis usually does."

"That's a relief!" Sam said, hopeful.

"Travelling," Victoria repeated, "Do you know if we are going to be moved soon then? And… the _method_ of movement?"

"I think things will start moving pretty soon," Sarada agreed, pushing her red glasses back up her nose. "You two better get a good night's sleep."

Sam turned to look at the less than comfortable bench, "Well… we can certainly try." She grimaced. It was hard to sleep without a pillow! Sam was kinda picky that way… she loved pillows. In fact… she just loved being comfy. "I don't suppose you can tell us if there's a specific time we'll be moved?" Sam, to point out she was talking about the marble, pulled out the very object and held it up as she spoke, emphasizing that it was what she was meaning. This way, Sam and Tori would know when they had to be touching hands or shoulders or whatever in order to be moved at the same time.

"Just after dawn," Sarada said.

"You'll be able to tell cuz it gets light all of a sudden," Boruto added helpfully.

"That is how dawn works," Tori agreed, giving Sam a droll look and nodding to the marble before Sam stuck her tongue out at Tori and then tucked the marble back away. "Well, hopefully it's a good journey and we see a friendly face or two along the way." She leaned nearer to say in a very, very soft whisper. "The plan is still the same, right? The parchment scraps?"

Boruto nodded and then shared an unfathomable look with Sam. Victoria frowned slightly, sensing a secret unsaid, but too dangerous to discuss just then with the anbu guards on alert and minus their friendly earplugs.

"Hey down there. Two more minutes."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Boruto called back. He jerked his thumb over one shoulder. "Look at this guy. Give him a little power and what does he do?" The admittedly way-too-overpowered-himself boy gave a little shrug as though to say 'oh well.' "Wish we could have done more to help you guys. Granny Tsunade is not very happy apparently."

"So we noticed.." Victoria drawled. "Given another chance at it, we'll try to stay on her good side."

"I'm sure you'll do your best," Sarada said with her trademark tiny smile. "Himawari and Mitsuki send their best. So does Shikadai, I think."

Boruto laughed. "Yeah. Chickadee is still butthurt about his name."

"Oh man. I never meant to...ruffle his feathers…"

Sam giggled, remembering their previous conversation. _Poor Tori. Maybe one day she'll learn._ She giggled again before the two waved goodbye to Boruto and Sarada.

* * *

Hours later, once Samantha and Victoria had gotten some relative rest (because really, benches with no blankets and no pillows were not comfy at all) awoke to the stillness of the prison cell. Not a peep could be heard, and Sam pulled out her marble, wondering when "dawn" would arrive.

"Think it'll be soon?" Sam asked, sitting with her back against the bars between her and Tori.

"I hope so," Tori murmured, sitting the same way, her own back against the bars. "I don't think I could possibly handle another incident with the bucket at this point.." (Toilet facilities in the Hidden Leaf holding cells were certainly deserving of the lowest Yelp score possible.) "You know, the last few days were, in theory, going to be our chance to rest up and heal and get supplies. But look at us. I have jail hair."

Sam tried to keep the smile off her face, but it was hard. "We both have jail hair," she stated, feeling a distinct need to shower, "At least your hair isn't as greasy as mine!" Sam's hair was so thin, it tended to grease up within a day if messed with too often. It made her wish she had Tori's thick hair, even if Tori struggled with tangles.

"Poor Sam. If I could trade all my wishes for a shower for you, I totally would," Tori promised. "Sadly, no one is in the market for my wishes right now."

"It's scary how well you know my brain," Sam mused.

"We've been friends for over half our lives, Sam-Sam," Tori pointed out gently, tilting her head back to watch a spider slowly spin a web in the corner of her ceiling. "You're my best friend. No matter what."

"Doesn't make it any less creepy," Sam bit her lip, amused,

"You like my creepy."

"Good point." With a sigh, Sam glanced dismally at a trickle of water in the corner of her cell. "If we die here, at least we didn't die alone," she said for dramatic affect. It was nice to know someone would know what happened to her. Even if the same fate befell them, too. _Actually, no. That would suck._

"Poor Sam. The evil Tori-brain monsters got to you."

"'Blaming you wins hands down,'" Sam drawled, quoting Goob from 'Meet the Robinsons'; Otherwise known as 'Bowler Hat Guy'. She tossed her pointer finger in a circular motion as she quoted.

Tori gave a small laugh. "What are you quoting?" she asked, knowing Sam's 'quote a movie' voice anywhere. She laughed again when Sam answered with a little huff that Victoria had missed it the first time. "Awh man. That's a good movie. And… oddly inspiring for right now. You know: with the whole 'Keep Moving Forward' bit."

"Whoa… I didn't even mean for that to happen!" Sam replied, "That's so crazy. But it's true! Just 'Keep Moving Forward' and everything will turn out alright in the end. That's even how God works, ya know?" Somehow, their conversations always ended up philosophical and otherwise.

"Yeah," Tori said softly. "Yeah, He does. And… He's gonna take care of us. One way or another, I truly believe everything will be okay."

Sam smiled, even if Tori couldn't see it.

"But just in case..." Victoria reached her hand out behind her and through the bars, Sam clasped it in her own. "At least wherever we go, we're not alone." She smiled crookedly, thinking of when Sam had said that to her in the forest before they got whipped off to fall out of a tree onto Jiraiya.

"Too true! We can certainly be thankful for that!" Samantha jumped when a sudden light began to appear in her fisted hand. "This is it!" she said, quickly; panicked. Sam's heart thumped as she squeezed Tori's hand in a vice-like grip, afraid of the possibility that one of them wouldn't make it simply because they were separated by the bars. Both waited with baited breath for the marble to pull them to their next destination.

Distantly, they could hear a cry of "Hey! What's going on down there!" before the marble grew so bright that Sam had to shield her eyes from its rays. She'd forgotten how bright the thing was!

"Weeeeeee…" Tori drawled as the tingle spread down their clasped arms and the darkness rushed in to replace the brilliant light.

"You're seriously gonna treat this like a rollercoa-" Her reply was cut off and before the guard even made his appearance in front of their cell, that was the last thing the shinobi heard. Samantha and Victoria had vanished.

* * *

 **Omake: What's in a Name?**

"Well it seems silly to have everyone just doing the same thing twice," Victoria said, "Especially if we only have a little while before we have to go back to Boruto's house." Her blue eyes lit up with an idea and she gave an eager clap. "So let's break it into groups!" Instantly, the former-teacher's-pet bustled about assigning tasks. "Sarada and Himawari seem to know the most about what kinda food and medical supplies could be used without moms noticing, so they could make a list of those. Sam, you got way more fight skills than me, so you and Boruto hash out defense and weapon stuff. Then, I can go work with Chickadee to figure out personal supplies."

The weird look on Sam's face was the first tip to Tori that she might have messed something up again. "Ch-chickadee?" Boruto repeated, a fist on his mouth forcibly just managing to hold back a laugh. "You - you called him Chickadee?"

"Oh. Is that - is that wrong?" Ears pinking a little, Tori turned back to the dark-haired boy who gave her a very long-suffering look under his spiky, pineapple-shaped manbun. "I'm so sorry. What's your name? I forgot. ...apparently.."

"Shikadai," he sighed.

"Shee-ka-dee?" Tori repeated uncertainly.

"Shee-"

"Shee!"

"Kah."

"Kah."

"Die."

"Die! Shriek-a-die!" She grinned victoriously, but Boruto's howling laughter quickly betrayed that Victoria had gotten it wrong again. "Shak-a-dee? No, It was die - Shark-a-die?"

"Shikadai!" Sarada said over the sound of Boruto's almost hysterical giggling.

"Cheese-and-pie?"

"Shikadai!" Himawari joined the chant with Sarada and the unpronounceable Shikadai.

"Sheets-will-lie."

"Shikadi!"

"Trees won't fly!"

"Tori!" Sam scolded, rolling her eyes, but laughing herself at her friend's ridiculousness.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Tori said, holding up a hand in the girl scout's signal to swear she would stop. "I know that it's pronounced 'chicken-fry.'" The son of the shadow-paralysis ninja wordlessly let his head fall heavily onto the table in defeat. Boruto was literally quivering in the corner, unable to stop his now silent, but utterly uncontrollable laughter. "I'm just kidding! I'm just kidding. It's Shikadai. I've got it now. I've got it. I promise to never call you Shrinky-Dink or Shriek-and-Die or anything else like it again. Promise."

"Chicken-Fry!" Boruto gasped from his corner. Tori knew then that it was too late. Even if she never messed it up, there was no way the poor kid's friend was gonna let him live it down.

Shikadai seemed to recognize the same based on the way he sighed and rested his cheek on one hand. "What a drag. Shoulda stuck with Chickadee."

* * *

 **A/N: And here you have it, folks! The next chapter of this fic! I really hope you get a kick out of it as much as we did. Truly... there was some tear wiping goin' on and cheeks burning from smiling too hard.**

 **But yes... *ahem* So! Please Read and Review! Tell us what you think! Any thoughts on what's happening? :D eh eh? Anything you'd like to see more of? Let us know! We love you, reviewers, readers, followers and favorites! Ya'll are amazing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**...That You Only Get One Chance To Make A First Impression**

There was an old dirt road that was so deep into the eastern forest that if it had once had a name, it was given too long ago for anyone to remember. It was a road used mainly by a very private community of farmers: and they only used it to travel between their steadings and the small village where they got supplies. The road continued past the last holding but where it went, none of the locals had ever cared to really discover. It was down this long and lonely road that an unexpected disturbance shook the early morning air: rattling leaves and sending birds cawing from their nests.

Across the path stretched a series of iron bars that had not been there just the evening before. The bars were solid: their bases somehow driven deep into the ground, and their tops arching a good ten feet into the air. At the base of the bars, a woman leaned - her legs and arms all akimbo - except for the right arm which was extended behind her: its hand clasping tightly to the hand of her companion on the other side of the bars.

The morning breeze tumbled down the road, stirring the feathery blue strands of Samantha's hair and gently whispering in her ear a warning. Others were approaching and where the two women were wouldn't be safe for long.

Unlike the first couple times of waking up in a strange, dangerous position, Sam awoke with a crick in her neck, and her bum sore from what felt like rocks or sticks or something poking her on a hard-packed ground. The arm attached to her fingers clasping tightly around Tori's was asleep. Sam groaned, wiggling her arm out of the hold, waiting for the prickly sensation to come to her so she could actually move the body part. With a cough, she glanced up, noticing the dewy gleam from morning rays trickling around the edges of the leaves, and the damp ground which she and Victoria were currently occupying. Wiping her hands of drying mud once her arm was fully functioning, Sam turned around and was met with the bars of their prison still separating them. Sam blinked, looking to her left and right, noticing with some relief that it was just the bars and not the whole of the jail that followed them to their next destination.

"Speaking of," Sam thought, aloud, "Where does this road lead to?" She worried her lip, looking in the direction Tori was facing. Which direction were they supposed to go? It was odd, too, that anxious butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Like something was supposed to happen right away, and they needed to be dangerously careful. Furrowing her brow, Sam stood up, holding onto the bars for support. It was quiet, but there seemed to be a hum in the air.

As Sam's fingers pulled free, Victoria's eyes had fluttered open: this morning's wakening by far the most gentle of their transports had been, but it still took several moments for her to draw her mind fully together again after the haze of unconsciousness. Either Boruto was getting better or just being ready for the journey had made it way more painless because the fierce headache of the other two times was blessedly absent. "Sam?" Victoria said, her voice rough like waking up at the start of the day. "You okay?" She felt the shadows move and looking up, saw Sam standing just on the other side of the bars, looking around them alertly. Victoria coughed and rubbed the palm of her muddied hand against the bottom of her likewise muddy skirt. Tori finally began to slowly pull herself up - making full use of the bars as a supportive handhold.

Sam continued to stare down the road, keeping an eye on the forest out of her peripheral. She didn't even flinch when Victoria woke up, and perked her ears up as Tor asked her question. "Yeah," Sam said, a little distracted, "I'm fine." Her eyes continued to try and make out anything beyond where their eyes could see, as if forcing it would make it come true. She finally turned towards Tori, who had a disbelieving stare on her face.

"Okay, fine." Sam conceded, "I feel a little anxious. Like… I'm expecting something to happen." She shrugged, "Maybe I'm just so used to having something happen right after we time travel that I'm expecting it to happen this time, too."

"That's fair," Tori said softly, slowly looking around herself. "Maybe Chickadee and friends gave us a little bit of a buffer this time, though." Her legs tingled unpleasantly as the blood flowed back into them. "At least some time to take stock of what we've got." The night before Sam had managed to very discreetly show Tori what Boruto had slipped her: a tiny piece of paper with the same characters that the sealing scrolls contained. Victoria tucked a loose strand of hair back behind one ear and then held her palm out to Sam as an offering to release the mystical object sealed away for them.

Sam smiled at Tori's mispronunciation of poor Shikadai's name, and with a jolt at the mention of the sealed paper, Sam felt her heart pace frantically as she searched her pocket before she sighed greatly with relief. The sealed paper was still there! She pulled out the precious piece, and placed it into Tori's palm. She was still rough around the edges on using chakra, so Sam was more than willing to let Tori take the chance on releasing whatever had been stocked away. "A buffer is nice!"

Victoria took a slow breath in and then out, pleased and impressed with herself as she felt the familiar tingle of chakra gathering in the center of her opposite palm. "Release," she commanded, sending the burst of chakra into the tiny paper as her left palm clapped down upon the right. A red and gold scroll popped into the air above her hands and Victoria somehow managed to catch the scroll before it could fall into the mud. (Although she did fumble quite a bit first. Having proven unexpectedly talented at chakra control did not compensate for her utter lack of athleticism it would seem.) "Heh. Guess they figured it would have been hard to pass this in a handshake," Tori quipped, wiggling the scroll at Sam. Untying the tiny knot of black string that held the scroll closed, Tori started to unroll the heavy parchment. "Oh, Sam! Look at this!" She flipped around the scroll for Sam to see. Beside each character was a tiny drawing: a coat, a hat, a bowl of rice. Victoria unravelled the scroll at little farther, smiling at the sight of a tiny backpack drawing and then a whole army of little kunai doodles. "Those kids thought of everything. What cuties."

"Aw!" Sam gushed, taking in the pictures, "This is so cute!" Then her eyes noticed the drawing of the hat and gasped, "Do you think that they sealed my hat away? No freaking way! That's awesome! And actually super convenient. Now I can have my hat but not have to worry that anyone will wonder if I'm a fraud or not!" Sam smiled triumphantly, hands placed heroically on her hips.

"I'm glad you agree it can stay put away for now," Tori drawled. "Other ninjas might not be as chill as Might Guy. ..I can't believe I just called Might Guy 'chill.'" Victoria shook her head. "All this fresh air must be getting to me."

"Truly. That dude is far from being chill." Sam agreed.

"Not a bad guy though," Tori murmured. "Way quicker to forgive than the Lady Hokage, that's for sure." Tori kept looking through the tiny images, creating a mental inventory in her head. "Oh look. Socks." She winked at Sam teasingly. "Guess we're ready for anything then!"

"Sweet!" Sam giggled at the socks, "So then! Shall we try and take something out of the scroll?" As soon as Sam asked this, her stomach growled and a tiny blush creeped up her cheeks as she gave a tiny laugh.

"By that I'm guessing it's breakfast you want," Tori teased. "Or are clean socks a higher priority? I mean, I know how you get about your socks.."

"You make _one_ little comment about comfy socks," Sam muttered with a roll of her eyes, "Breakfast sounds _amazing!_ " She stated, "Let's hop to it!"

Victoria shook her head slightly, confused but amused by how perky Samantha was. Must have been the adventure in the air. "I don't hop," she drawled, peering at the different little bowl drawings. "This looks like it might be noodles. So..we'll try it." She half propped the scroll against the cross brace of the bars and then carefully released just the set of characters next to the noodles. "Mmmkay. So apparently that is the symbol for rope not noodles."

Sam giggled, biting her tongue, "Smooth move, Sherlock." She patted Tori's shoulder for emphasis of her amusement. Sam glanced at the scroll, looking at the symbols and found one shaped like a bowl, with three squiggly lines above it. Something was written next to it, and Sam squinted, suddenly recognizing the characters. "Ah!" Sam instantly slammed her pointer finger on the kanji, "Ichiraku Ramen! That's our noodles! I'm surprised you didn't go for the steaming bowl."

"Ramen for breakfast. What a Naruto." Victoria shook her head as she adjusted the scroll along until the right characters were in easy reach and balanced on the cross brace. (She did not want to fat-finger their breakfast into the mud, thank you.)

"Says the girl who tried to unseal noodles." Sam retorted with a smirk.

"Be nice," Tori commanded. "Tor-Tor is still tired." She yawned and then released the seal. A still warm and steaming bowl of ramen appeared, Tori just managing to catch the edge of the bowl and steadied it carefully. "Okay, now come take this so I can get me a bowl."

"Okay!" Sam chirped, pausing to decide which side she'd go around, before walking swiftly to Tori's side. Sam grabbed the steaming bowl and smelled its contents gloriously. "Ah, now this is legit Japanese ramen! So stoked!" She slid her back against the bars, falling to her butt without a care that she was muddying up her skinny jeans even more than they already were. The air smelled nice and fresh, and to top it off, they got to have a nice, hot breakfast (something they hadn't had in _days_ ) Sam was feeling deliriously happy right at that moment.

As she and Victoria slurped their ramen (you'd think that the ninjas would've at least packed _chopsticks_ for them) Sam's head suddenly shot up, looking to her right. "Did you hear that?" Sam asked Tori, without turning to look at her.

"I don't _want_ to have heard it," Victoria offered, blinking somewhat sleepily at her almost empty bowl. "Let's hope it's a bird."

Sam didn't answer, paying attention instead to what she thought she heard. Instantly, her stomach twisted in knots that had been previously forgotten by the excitement of breakfast, and Sam slowly set her mostly eaten bowl of ramen on the ground. _Oops, I guess we'll have to rub the dirt off that when we go to reseal it_ she briefly thought at the back of her mind, before standing and stared at the quiet forest. She listened intently, before the sound came again. Sam whipped around, staring through the bars she'd been leaning against, "There!" She refrained from shouting, "Did you hear it that time?"

"Yeah…" Tori said sadly. She unrolled to a more empty part of the scroll and draped it across her knees. She then set her bowl down and carefully did the hand signs Boruto had taught her. In a thrice, the bowl disappeared into the paper. A new set of symbols appeared: the regular, old English alphabet simply stating 'dirty bowl.' "You done with yours? I figure we should clean up before we get arrested again."

"Oh! Yeah, I'm done," Sam stated absentmindedly, waving distractedly towards her bowl. She looked down at the scroll in Tori's lap and did a double-take. "Whoa! Is that English!" Momentarily forgetting that someone or someone's were approaching, Sam crouched to get a closer look at the English alphabet, giggling at the phrase. _So literal_.

"Yeah. 'S what happens when I do the seal, apparently." Tori shrugged a little and quickly sent away Sam's bowl and the unnecessary rope before getting to her feet. The scroll was tucked away: taking up a secure new residence where her cellphone used to live.

Sam's attention was soon drawn towards the direction opposite of their side of the bars, further down the mountain, and between the trees, she noticed an approaching group of people. "Maybe we should hide?" She suggested to Tori.

"They probably saw us already if we can see them," Tori pointed out with a Shikamaru-esque blaséness. She did, however, follow Sam off the road and into the shade of the trees. There wasn't enough ground cover to bother trying to crouch behind, but at least they weren't on display and obviously in kunai range. "Probably the best noobs like us can manage," Victoria quipped, leaning on her tree more than hiding behind it. She yawned again. Someday maybe she'd get a normal eight hours of solid sleep again..

With a soft sigh, Sam squared her shoulders, "I suppose you're right. Nothing but a waiting game, now." Another squak was made, coming from the direction of the small group, and by then, it was easy to see that there were two people that seemed to be fighting. _Children? That's certainly what it looks li- wait._ Sam squinted her eyes, as if that would give her superhuman powers with the ability to zoom in. But she could see that there were four people approaching, and three of them seemed to be children. She couldn't help the small intake of breath, "These guys look like shinobi!" She looked towards Tori, "I really hope they don't decide we're suspicious and want to send us to jail. Jail does not bode well for my sleeping patterns."

"People are allowed to stand in the forest, Sam," Victoria reminded her. "This isn't North Korea. And I'm guessing they are who we are supposed to join up with. Boruto does that, remember? Drops us by the nice guys."

Sam frowned, "I really hope you're right. But them being the nice guys doesn't actually _mean_ they'll be nice to us. Everyone is always suspicious of us! Good grief. I really don't get it."

"It's your blue hair, Sam. I told you it made you too punk."

"Hey! My blue hair is awesome!" Sam defended, "Besides, if _that's_ the reason we're suspicious, then what about all the other's? Huh? I mean, just look at Sakura! She's got _pink_ hair!"

Tori gave a soft laugh. "Relax. I'm teasing." She shook her head and then made the mistake of trying to run her hands through her hair. Her poor, tangled, jail-smell hair that probably still somehow had toad slobber in it too. "Man, I need a shower." The majority of her attention, though, was on watching the approach of the four travelers.

"Ditto," Sam agreed, keeping her gaze focused. The four shinobi (because Sam was _certain_ that's what they were. She could see the sun glinting off metal from what she could just bet were forehead protectors!) were walking in the standard diamond pattern: one point, two center, and the final man - probably the leader based on height - taking up the distant rear.

"Agh! You're such a pompous snob!"

The unexpected shout came from the center of the group - the voice obviously a young boy just on the edge of puberty based on how it cracked at the end. For some reason Sam's heart pounded twice as fast. There was something so familiar about that voice! She shuffled around her tree, cursing the little twist in the road that had temporarily hidden the group.

"Yes, well, at least I can live up to the hype. Unlike _someone_ ," a second voice returned, likely form the point based on how much closer it sounded.

"Gah! How can you even make being a snob sound elite! You freaking jerk!"

"At least I'm not a loser."

"They stopped moving," Tori whispered from her tree.

 _How did she end up with a better view! Gah!_ Sam thought to herself.

"It's a kid squad," Victoria continued, "But I don't recognize them. Two boys and one girl."

"Do you wanna go!" the first kid shouted, his voice cracking again..

"Well, not like it'd be much of a fight."

"Oh yeah!? We'll see about that!"

Victoria pushed her glasses up, squinting a little. "They have the little pigeon shape on their forehead guards. I think they must be from Konoha."

Sam snorted _Pigeon shape? That's one way to describe it._

"Oh c'mon, Obito, don't fight! I don't really want you to get hurt," the third teammate pleaded and Sam nearly fell over as the realization hit. _Obito?_ There was only one squad with Obito on it! Minato's squad! They had ended up even further back than before. _Which meant..._

"Yeah, Obito, listen to Rin," the point said, disdain obvious in the boy's voice.

"Agh! Get that pompous smirk off your face," Obito shouted. He suddenly stepped forward and through a crack between two branches, Samantha could see him: spiky black hair, orange goggles glinting in the sun, and a blue and orange jacket just like the anime had pictured it! _Holy Fudge!_ It really was Obito! "Stupid Kakashi!" he shouted and Sam heard Tori gasp. "Sorry, sorry, Rin! But I can totally take stupid Kakashi on!" Obito said passionately.

"Oh my gosh. It's a tiny, angry Kakashi," Victoria murmured to herself, blinking against the very confusing sight. "So tiny…"

Deciding she couldn't stand to miss even a second more of this, Sam crept over to Victoria's same spot, leaning around her friend to see the legendary squad. Next to Obito, her arm raised as though to physically hold him back was Rin, her large brown eyes full of both worry and frustration thanks to her bickering teammates. She was definitely a cute girl even with the bright slashes of purple war paint on her face.

And then there was Kakashi. He was the closest to them, but with his back turned their direction. Victoria was right. He was tiny! The two sabers strapped to the future fifth hokage's back were nearly longer than he was! _He's like the size of Tori's youngest sister. But… that makes sense. He's only nine after all. Holy crap._ Young Kakashi disdainfully looked away from his teammate, and even from here Samantha could see his eye roll. "As if. Loser."

"What'd you call me!" Obito shouted, stomping away from Rin. He was practically quivering with his hurt pride.

"Ah, heh, alright everyone, let's not start a riot in the middle of the forest." And Sam's heart flopped. It was him!

Minato Namikaze.

The Yellow Flash.

Fourth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf.

Even with the few minutes to have prepared herself for the sight of him, Samantha was struck almost breathless. He was unbelievably good looking. Even TOP from her favorite kpop band, Big Bang, would have looked only kind of attractive if placed in the same room as Minato Namikaze. His features were so sharp and handsome!

His golden hair gleamed in the early morning light: shining and blazing around him like a halo. He turned his head slightly to one side and for whatever reason, just the sight of the muscles in his jaw lightly clenching as he spoke was enough to make Sam's knees go weak. Her poor fingers gripping the rough bark of her tree was basically the only thing holding her up. Even from the distance they were at, there was an almost intoxicating sense of masculine strength about him. Samantha had always thought Minato Namikaze was the coolest and most awesome character in the Naruto-verse, but even the gorgeousness of how Kishimoto drew him could not possibly compare to the reality of seeing an actual blood and flesh man who was that amazing and commanding. But the very best part - the most entrancing part - was his eyes: they were blue. So, so blue. If Naruto's eyes were the blue of summer skies and Boruto the bright playfulness of a rushing river, then Minato's eyes were deep and stormy oceans full of unimaginable strength.

A girl could drown in eyes like those.

By this point, Minato had caught up with the remainder of his squad. Even under the bulky shape of his tactical vest, it was obvious this man was in _fiiiiine_ shinobi form. With a single, gentle move, Minato placed a hand on each boy's shoulder and they seemed to instantly still. Oh, based on the deepening scowl on Obito's face, he was far from reconciled with Kakashi's insults, but the way Obito joined the others in mumbling "Sorry, Minato-Sensei" it was clear that the respect he had for his sensei eclipsed the anger. Minato smiled in approval.

Minato smiled and Victoria was certain her heart stopped for a second. Let the record show, being in the presence of Minato Namikaze was not enough to wipe Kakashi Hatake (the adult aged one) from her heart's hopeless grip, but as an actual human mortal person, it was impossible to not be affected by that smile. Victoria, who had spent far too many summer vacations binge-watching America's Next Top Model, was well aware of the different kinds of male beauty that Earth had to offer - beauty that seemed to be very well represented in Konoha! Take Boruto: he had the playful and charismatic charm of a young hero like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Neji, for all that he was only fourteen, had reminded her strongly of her long ago emo-era crushes. He could be considered a broody, Japanese Gerard Way. (Even Might Guy could be counted as one of the Dwayne Johnson-esque handsome type: slightly funny face, but great teeth and, of course, muscles for days.) Her Kakashi was like the model Mathias Lauridsen: sharp, rugged jaw and cheekbones, hair that made her want to die, and just scarred enough to remind Victoria that the most wonderful things in life included flaws that made the beauty all the more precious. He was heart-stopping, but human.

Minato, on the other hand, was nearly ethereal. His features were literally flawless. Perfectly even, perfectly balanced, perfectly proportioned. Even his skin was perfect! Not a freckle or pimple or scar in sight. He was an elven prince - a fey king - a golden deity of ancient times. A literal angel descended from heaven. It was almost unnerving: how impossibly _beautiful_ this man was. Even Omar Borkan who famously got deported from Saudi Arabia because of his beauty wasn't this pretty.

Just...sheer divinity. Minato deserved to be worshipped for being so attractive. He shouldn't be stuck as a mere shinobi. There was no way she could even conceive of someone wanting to attack him. What if they marred his beauty? That would be a crime against the universe! "Is..is his keku genkai his face?" Victoria breathed, totally stunned.

"Tori… do you know who we're looking at?" Sam breathed out quietly, breathless.

Victoria shook her head a little and as she did, she spotted a weird flicker out of the corner of her eye. She spun her head towards the yellow blur. "Did you see that?" she hissed.

Sam didn't respond. Her heart pounded. It was in the blink of an eye: one minute she was watching Team Minato, the next thing Sam knew, a dark feel surrounded her being, and something cold and sharp was threatening her neck - _A kunai!_ her mind briefly registered - she couldn't help gulping and trying to look at the threat out of the corner of her eyes. Pieces of yellow hair was all she could manage to see and a small "Uuuh," was the most she could utter before the man threatening her spoke.

"So. What's two women traveling alone on this road for?" Despite the threatening tone, Sam wanted to melt at his voice. Her body, however, shook for other reasons - namely… not being used to being threatened. That was a major factor. Mhm.

He was so fast. Victoria had still been looking the other way after the blur when she suddenly looked back at the unexpected voice. The man with the face of angel was there, his kunai to Sam's throat! And Sam - Sam was pale and shaking and… the look of terror in her friend's eyes shook Tori to her core. Clearly, they were not going to be able to joke their way through things anymore. Hadn't Sam told her that Kakashi had grown up in a war zone? This wasn't a bored and friendly jounin: this Minato guy was a battle-hardened soldier. And he had a weapon to her best friend's throat!

"Please - please don't hurt her," Victoria said, her voice coming out in an unsteady whisper instead of the commanding tone she had promised. Very slowly, she raised her two hands: palms out in the universal gesture of surrender. "You're… from Konoha, right?"

"And what business do you have with Konoha? Which village do you hail from?" Minato's voice - his _oh so sexy_ voice to Sam, even if she was scared of dying right then - was low; menacing. Sam kept quiet, thinking it was to her advantage in not provoking the hardened shinobi.

"Jordan City," Tori said, naming her actual real-Earth hometown cuz lying about anything right then sounded like a bad idea. "We were told we could find help in Konoha. Please, we're just traveling. We heard someone coming and we were worried so we hid. We're just civilians, I promise."

Minato's eyes narrowed even further than before, "Civilians travelling alone in the middle of a war? Why not hire an escort? These are dangerous roads to be travelling on."

"We thought if we took the less known roads we'd be safe," Tori hypothesized with a weak little shrug. "It's not like escorts are free.." If nothing else, they certainly looked desperate enough with their dirty, muddy clothes and jail hair.

Minato stared at Victoria for a long, hard moment, "Fair enough," he finally said, releasing his kunai from Sam's neck. It wasn't until he moved the kunai that Sam realized she hadn't been breathing and she took some long gulps of air. "Well, seeing as you two were travelling in the same direction, how about we travel along together? Free of charge," he reassured.

His smile was dazzling. Sam stared at the man in awe, unable to truly process what he was offering. Because, although Minato's request was innocent, and his face was completely relaxed, Sam couldn't help but wonder what his motives were.

"You will?" Victoria felt a little whiplash. _Maybe Himawari was right. Maybe we are using some sort of genjutsu on all these poor ninjas. What else could explain them helping us? Other than, of course, our suspicious presences. Keep your friends close but your time-traveling spies closer?_ Victoria reached out to the tree for support and strength. "Wh...Well, thank you," she said, her surprise but gratitude obvious in her voice. "That is really, really kind of you, sir."

"Sensei!" An irritated groan from a boisterous Obito called out, "What's taking so long? Are there enemies or not?"

"Really?" A cynical tone could be heard, no doubt Kakashi's young voice.

Minato smile sheepishly as their voices carried, "Well, let's go meet my team, shall we?"

"That fast?" Sam wondered aloud, just a little suspicious at how quickly the man accepted them into his group.

"Don't worry, my team is just as capable of defending you as any jōnin you'd meet." Minato stated. _Ah, and there it is. The threat that if we double-cross him, we'd definitely have a handful to deal with._ Sam pursed her lips, glanced at Tori, then shrugged and began to follow the intimidating-but-not-intimidating Yellow Flash of Konoha. _Man his voice is so sexy!_ Sam fangirled as she followed.

Victoria slowly followed, tentatively picking her way through the trees and out into the brightening sunlight. Of course she was relieved that they had latched onto a group of friendly(ish) ninjas, but a big part of her really would have rather waited in the trees for a different group. Sam's storytelling had made it clear that this little squad was full of tragedy. It had been so easy to become emotionally invested in Neji, Rock Lee, and Ten-Ten - and they had only met for a few days! And already she missed teasing Shikadai and discussing music with Himawari. Did Victoria really want to lose her heart to another group of kids - so achingly like her much missed little siblings - when she knew what was coming?

Chewing her lower lip worriedly, Tori looked up and considered the three young shinobi who watched their approach with curiosity. _Nothing is written in stone, Tori,_ she coached herself, _And you know that in the end of all things God makes everything fair. Just move forward, remember? Keep moving forward!_ She clicked a small smile back into place and gave the squad a tiny wave.

They had walked back onto the road several paces and now reached where the three others on Team Minato waited: leaning against the bars that were obstructing the path. Obito watched their approach, arms folded in anxious waiting. Rin sat on the ground, leaning her back against the bars while Kakashi stood, sharpening a kunai. Sam, however, hardly paid attention. She watched Minato's back with glazed eyes, trying to compute the fact that she was actually in the presence of her favorite character in the entire Naruto-verse. _He's so- even in the anime he was so attractive but in real life? Wow._ It was interesting, too, because as much as Sam loved Minato and Naruto, she actually didn't love their hair color. It was too yellow for her taste. At least, in the anime. But in real life… real life was a whole 'nother story. Minato's hair shone like gold silk in the sun. Sprung like healthy curls. Rested against his head like he'd been using a professional stylist every five minutes. More sheen and body than a L'Oreal commercial. It was very gorgeous hair and _Dang… I wish I had such amazing hair!_ And then, there was his back. Ho-boy, Sam was extremely attracted to back muscles. And while the forest green vest covered his back, the way Minato held himself, the way his arms seemed to bulge a little bit against the fabric of his shirt (such details were not given in the anime) it made her head feel dizzy. _So hot…_ Sam couldn't help but squeal in her head. Yeah, she would've groaned if someone had said she was as bad as Sasuke's fan club. Because really… that's not a very good comparison. But yet… who cared? Not Sam. Minato… Minato was worth the squealing. Though, Sam would never ever squeal aloud. How embarrassing!

She bit her lip, astounded at how much Minato sounded like his English voice actor - how that was possible, Sam could only continue to deliberate. So engrossed in her thoughts, her eyes seeing only the super sexy, too-hot-for-this-world-he-was-that-god-like shinobi, that Sam didn't realize Minato had introduced his team to them. It wasn't until Tori nudged her arm and Sam startled out of her thoughts and clearing her throat that she realized they were all staring at her.

"Uh," She smiled tentatively, lifting a hand in a small wave, "Hi."

Victoria shot Sam a funny look, but then her eyes lightened in awareness. Though a rare bird, Tori did know how to spy out Sam's distracted-by-a-guy face. "And this is Samantha," Victoria provided, with a small smile. She had already shared her own name. Feeling the need to at least attempt to be more formal - Japanese manners and all that - Tori gave a little bobbing nod. "Thank you very much for allowing us to travel with you. We really appreciate it."

Sam waved sheepishly, nodding in tandem with Victoria. "Truly. It's much more comforting knowing that we'll have skilled shinobi walking along with us."

The tiny Kakashi's eyes narrowed and he shot a dissatisfied look at his squad leader. "This will affect the mission," he decreed. His kunai gave a sharp squeal as he dragged it down the whetstone once more. "Aren't we on a timeline, Sensei?"

Minato's ocean eyes darkened slightly, although with concern or frustration it was hard to quite tell as his features never wavered from their gentle pleasantness. "A shinobi's duties are many-fold, Kakashi. If we are in a position to assist civilians, we should do so. We will still be able to complete our mission."

The look that little-Kakashi shot Sam and Tori in that moment clearly indicated his doubts that they would prove to be anything worthwhile. Victoria half-expected a cheeky comment to go with the look, but the tiny chunin simply turned his attention back to polishing the freshly sharpened kunai. Kakashi's dismissal of Minato's comment seemed to have personally offended Obito who huffed and folded his arms tightly, glaring at the seemingly emotionless Hatake. Catching Obito's glare, Kakashi gave the razor-sharp blade a fancy little twirl before tucking it away. A half-laugh caught itself in the back of Tori's throat. _Show-off. I guess some things don't change._

"What? Is the haughty Kakashi unable to take care of a few civilians? Well, don't worry!" Obito turned towards Sam and Tori with a big grin on his face, pointing boastfully towards himself, "You've got the future Hokage on your team! You'll be completely fine!"

Minato hummed, a soft smile on his face, "Two future Hokages, you mean, Obito. You aren't the only one with that dream."

Obito rolled his eyes, "Well duh, of course sensei."

Victoria couldn't help grinning back at the a-dork-able Obito. _Isn't he just a walking Naruto?_ She thought to herself. Solemnly, she nodded to the tween, "I feel very safe and a thousand times more confident in my future knowing you'll be there, Obito." She then crinkled her nose at him because the only thing more fun than grinning with a twelve-year-old was making one blush. " _Merci beaucoup!_ "

Sam nearly laughed out loud at the reactions of not only Obito, but Minato, Kakashi, and Rin, as every one of them wore a look of confusion on their faces nearly simultaneously.

"What's 'mershi boku?'" Obito asked, being the only one unafraid to state he had no idea what the heck Tori had just said. Samantha giggled.

"It means 'Thank You' in…" unable to come up with an idea as to how to explain what French was, Sam turned to Tori expectantly.

"In French," Victoria responded, then adding smoothly, "Our home village has lots of code creators and cryptographers. Some of the older codes became well-known enough that our elders discontinued them and just use them for training." Tori still thought it was a little bizarre that there was only one language in the entire world, but whatever. The original interaction with Rock Lee fifteen days ago (or was it 16 years in the future?) had made her consider how they could explain it away if they messed up again...or if anyone caught them spelling to each other...or saw their handwriting for that matter.

"Samantha and I aren't coders ourselves, but from growing up there we picked up about thisssss much." Victoria held her two fingers just barely apart as though to assure the shinobi that they were much, much less informed and thus not very much of a threat. Plus, would a threat ever admit they were a threat? Victoria didn't think so. Only an idiot or an incompetent would reveal their trump card like that. Considering the real, major secret they were carrying (alien time jumpers) she was more than fine with playing the fool and "accidentally revealing" their odd skills to help protect the big truth. "Now, it's just a leftover habit. I'm sorry for confusing you."

"French, huh?" Minato murmured. Kakashi scowled, his gaze narrowing. Rin politely mentioned how interesting it was while Obito's eyes went as big as saucers.

"That's so awesome!" Obito gushed, sparkling eyes and flamboyant body movements all a part of how cool he thought their language skills were, "I wanna learn French! I'd be such a cool Hokage!"

Samantha cleared her throat. "Um, well… I'm afraid, as Tor said, we only picked up just a tiny bit so... I don't actually know how to speak it very well." As Sam gently declined teaching the French language (because she really only did know just a smidgen) Minato studied the both of them, seeming to chew the inside of his cheek as he contemplated speaking.

"Where is it that you're from, exactly?" Minato asked.

"Jordan City," Tori offered before Sam could interrupt with anything contradicting what had already been said. "It's far to the west from here and quite isolated in the mountains. I'm not surprised if you've never heard of it. It's very strange and secretive. Almost another world, really."

It was very hard for Samantha not to burst out laughing. In fact, she had to glance away and rub at her face to stop the smile that was trying to appear.

"We were kind of raised in a cult," Victoria confided in a staged whisper. "So if we say or do things strangely, I'm very sorry. We are still acclimating to normal life."

"A cult." Minato deadpanned, still seeming unsure of their lineage and birthplace, especially as Samantha's face did not hide her amusement very well.

"That's right," Sam managed to say, knowing that when they were alone, she'd bust up laughing at Tori for the most bizarre reason for their strange behavior. Minato looked between the two women with calculation. It was almost as if they could see the cogs in his brain turning at their explanation.

The young Kakashi's dark eyes slowly sized the two strangers up in a different way this time: now as a potential threat rather than merely a burden distracting them from the all important mission. He slowly fingered the handle of a kunai as he shot a look over to his sensei. Obito hardly noticed his teammates as he listened. It seemed the very thought of the two women being from such a crazy place like "Jordan City" was enough excitement for him to forget they were smack dab in the middle of nowhere, with random bars protruding from the ground; wedged deep. Rin, for all her curiosity, had moved to stand just a little closer to Kakashi - much to Obito's jealousy

Victoria placed a hand on Sam's elbow, outwardly for support, but also as a gentle caution. "I know it's strange," she said softly, her theater background helping to keep her calm and centered as she tried to build as much truth as possible into the lies she was telling. "Unbelievable, almost, in modern times such as these, but crazy things can still happen. Sam and I were quite lucky, really, to have realized that there was a different way of life out there. It was hard to leave everything that we knew, but it seemed important, dreadfully important, to find a way to live here: among the rest of the world. And, if there was any way that we could possibly help, that we would do that too."

 _Dang, she's good,_ Sam listened with some awe, all the while nodding her head to further state the truthfulness of Victoria's claims. Minato listened to Tori, still, with a calculating stare. "Honest!" Sam proclaimed, "We will really do all that we can to help you. I know a little bit of fighting, and Tori, here, is good with sealing stuff." And while Sam boasted of their skills, she prayed that none of the actual shinobi would take them up on their offer. Thankfully, Minato dismissed their help quickly.

"No need to worry. We still have our mission to complete, so we're headed back to our village, Konoha. You can travel with us there, if you'd like, and we'll make sure that no harm comes to you."

With Minato's final assurance, he then began to direct the squad to prepare to headout. As they trudged along, (Victoria's toes already hurting in the ninja sandals she had borrowed form Boruto the several days before), the curious Obito had many, many questions about the mysterious cult they were raised in. They answered his questions as much as they could, but when he started asking about their families the only-too-real homesickness in their responses finally stirred Minato into gently instructing Obito to let the matter drop and give their guests some peace.

Victoria noticed after a while that Kakashi, still serving as point, seemed to disappear up ahead of the road for long stretches at a time, inevitably descending from a tree and looking bored when the rest of the squad caught up. The fourth time this happened, Tori leaned over to Rin - Sam and Obito had gotten caught up discussing the history of the first and second Hokages - and asked softly, "Your other teammate doesn't seem to talk a lot. Is there a reason for that?"

Rin's large amber eyes darkened as a troubled expression turned down her lips. "That's just Kakashi. He doesn't really like to let others close, now. He's all about the mission."

"He seems very young to be a genin," Tori said with a slight frown.

"Oh, no, Kakashi's a chunin," Rin was quick to correct. "And he is a bit younger than us, I guess, but we were in the academy together."

Victoria was going to ask how old that meant Rin and Obito were when instead she managed to catch the open lip of her slightly-too-big sandal on a rock and down she went. Luckily her arms were functioning faster than her brain, because they managed to come out and catch her, but the sudden jarring impact of self hitting the ground was still enough to shift her half-healed ribs. Her hiss of pain brought the others to a halt, Rin already crouched down at her side. "Victoria-San, are you hurt?" she asked worriedly.

"Just - just surprised," Tori lied, wincing as she gingerly maneuvered up off her forearms and into a sitting position. She took a quick moment to inspect her new batch of injuries: scraped up palms and elbows, her leggings were torn _again,_ and the big toe that caught the rock seemed the worst, the skin scraped raw and blood welling up from the torn corner of her toenail. "Gah. I'm such a klutz."

Amused and worried all in one, Sam rushed to Tori's side, "Not normally, ya know. But if you're hurt… definitely a good idea to see if Boruto and the gang gave us anything for this kind of situation." Sam didn't really need to mention the scroll as Victoria was already in the act of pulling it out.

Tori pulled out the scroll - not registering all the other ninjas suddenly going rigid in surprise - she calmly unraveled it to where she had spotted the same weird symbol that all the medical nin in Konoha had on their coats. She pointed to the seal and asked Rin. "That means medical supplies, right?"

Rin gave a little nod and Tori unsealed what turned out to be a very nice and rather large first aid kit. The teenage girl seemed very excited and eagerly offered to be the one to find Tori some bandages - which of course meant exploring every compartment to see the full inventory.

"Oo, Sam, looks like Sarada got us a good one," Tori said with a little thumbs up.

If Sam could whistle, she totally would have. "Dang, that's impressive. Sarada apparently knew we'd need these kinds of things. Guess I can't be surprised." Sam muttered, r emembering all the times they'd landed somewhere after teleporting and gained injuries.

"Here, Victoria-San," Rin said, tearing open an individually sealed antiseptic wipe. "First we must clean your scrapes of any debris so that they don't get infected." Victoria dutifully took over the wipe and gently cleaned up her smarting palms as well as the beat up toe. She then likewise followed the instructions to smear on some ointment that tingled faintly. "These should heal up very quickly," Rin assured her. "But we will want to watch your toenail for signs of infection. Do you have anything that could cover it? Like a sock?"

"Awe, Rin. You're amazing as always!" Obito gushed. It was amazing to Samantha that the boy thought he'd be able to hide how much he loved his teammate, considering how much his sparkling eyes gave away his admiration and adoration. Sam gave him a smile, giving an "mhm" in agreement to his statement.

"I'm pretty sure we packed some socks," Tori drawled. She scrolled back to where the little sock shape lived and, summoning her chakra, unsealed the socks. She then burst out laughing. Apparently Shikadi, under threat of Sam's inevitable rebellion, had not only sealed away a few pairs of socks, he had seemingly taken an entire dresser drawer that was chock full of socks and sealed up the whole thing: drawer included.

Sam stared in awe at the whole drawer, eyes going wide. "That's… that's amazing! Oh my gosh, so many socks! Yay!" She did a little dance in her spot, looking down at her feet. "Oh heck yes! I can totally get new socks on right now! Wait.. I really wanna be clean… we should find a place to wash up." Sam turned towards Minato, completely ignoring the scowled impatience Kakashi currently had on his face. "Is there like… a town nearby where we could wash up? We, uh… could use a good wash."

"Yeah no kidding," Kakashi muttered, quietly. _Good grief, Kakashi is one grumpy little dude._ Sam rose an eyebrow at the young chunin. Minato sighed at his young charge and then unfolded his arms when he turned back to Samantha.

"I'm afraid we're not nearby any town. The closest one from here would be a town just outside of Kusagakure. But that's about a day's walk at a civilian pace."

"Oh." Sam pouted, resigned, "I guess we'll just have to wait. Ne? Tori-chan?"

"I'm pretty sure I spotted a small river nearby. You could always bath in there." Obito shrugged, matter-of-factly, watching as Rin dressed up the small wound on Victoria's foot.

"A river sounds better than nothing," Victoria agreed, "But we don't want to throw you all off too far in your plans." She winced as she bent over to remove her weird open-toed shoes in order to add the socks. "Rin, do you see any painkiller in there?' she asked softly.

The girl frowned slightly, a question in her eyes, but dutifully hunted around for medicine. While she searched, Minato watched with a contemplative air.

"Heading towards Kusagakure would be a little too out of the way, as we do have our mission to complete. But I think we can make a stop at the river. It's not too far, as Obito stated, and should at least get all the dirt and grime off you."

"Really?" Sam asked, hopeful. It was super easy to forget how young Minato actually was. In the anime, he always seemed much older than was implied, and meeting the extremely attractive man did not lessen that impact. Minato was far wiser than his age, and it left Sam feeling slightly intimidated when she thought about it. _He's already done so much in his life. So much!_ Her smile dimme as she thought about it; somehow wishing that she'd accomplished just as much - or more - by the time she was Minato's age. Alas that was not the case. Sam would just have to make-do.

"Oo! While they do, can we break for lunch?" Obito asked hopefully, pumping his fists together hopefully in a way that made Tori smile because it was just so exactly like something Sam would do.

"Keh. All you ever think about is food." Kakashi rolled his eyes at his teammate's enthusiasm.

"We can break for lunch," Minato agreed, his pleasant smile seemingly a little strained by the ever-present bickering.

"Onward and upward then," Victoria declared after she'd swallowed the medicine. She offered Sam the water-bottle that she had unsealed and then took the first aid kit back from Rin and carefully re-sealed it. She then tried to very casually roll the scroll back up as quickly as she could before any of the sharp-eyed shinobi could spy the weirdness of the English-written seals. She tucked it back away in her bra like before, raising an eyebrow at Obito's blush. _Guess a world without cell phones and clothing with actual pockets changes the suitability of that, Tor._ She wiggled a hand at Sam to ask for help up and then they were once again off.

When they found the river, Tori was both so glad as well as pretty apprehensive. Eastern and Western ideas of bathing were pretty different after all! Yet, she and Sam had managed to survive the jail bucket. She was just glad that the rest of the squad were disinclined to join in a mid-day river dunking. "Man, I must really love clean hair to be willing to do this," she grumbled to herself as she creeped from behind her changing bush - towel very firmly held onto! - and to the river bank. She dipped her non-injured toes in and squealed. "Sam! Sam! It's freaking cold!" she whimpered, dancing around in place. "Gah! Camping is the worst! Rivers are the worst! We should have never left home! I mean, our cult!"

Samantha giggled, "Cult," then laughed out loud at the ridiculous thought that they were in a cult before staring apprehensively at the river before her. Sam stood next to Tori, Sam's own towel held tightly around her _Man, we're lucky they thought to give us towels!_ Sam gripped the towel tighter, then let out a breath. "I hate cold water as much as you. But… it's better than nothing, no? Besides. We don't have to stay in the river for very long. You could even just 'sponge bathe' or something." Sam shrugged, getting the gumption to place her own feet in the river.

"Eep!" She gasped, pulling her foot back out, looking at Tori's 'see I told you' face. "Well, it's not like I didn't believe you!" Sam declared, then tentatively stuck her foot in once again. After a few moments, Sam was able to place both feet in the water, it getting to the point that the water felt warmish. "Just give it a minute and you'll be fine," she reported, then slowly but surely began to wade out far enough she could clean off the grime and muck that had been stuck on them for the last little while. _Yay! New socks!_ Sam hummed to herself.

While Sam boldly voyaged deeper into the water, wielding her washcloth and soap like a valiant warrior in the war against grime, Victoria lingered on the shore, fighting to find the will of fire inside herself to keep more than her big toe in the water. _Remember that part where the guy you like in the future has super sense of smell? Yeah. He probably had that as a little kid, too. And you, my darling, you smell like jail._ Tori hissed in a deep breath of courage, grunting in pain when it expanded her ribs too much, and then gave her bottle of shampoo a little wave. _Go! Be clean!_ "For narnia! And the three kingdoms!" she said, cheering to herself as she just straight up ran out til she was in too-deep to run out again.

"For Narnia!" Sam repeated off where she was at.

The cold hit like a truck after half of a second. "Eye of Sauron!" Victoria shrieked, "Big Bad Word!" Tori continued to curse vehemently in her own particular brand of non-swear words even as she dunked her head into the water and started to wash her hair as quickly as humanly possible. "Putin's ear hair!" (Tori was really a strange one.) "Gosh darn rotten, that's brisk!"

"Putin's ear hair?" Sam smirked scrubbing her own head with the shampoo, "How in the world did you come up with that?" She quickly sloshed her head in the water to rinse, hoping the cold headache that came wouldn't last. The water was certainly very cold. How did shinobi do it? "Got any conditioner?" When Victoria showed Sam that there was, indeed, conditioner, Sam gave a victorious shout of glee. Truly. Conditioner was like… the god of hair-softness. Without it, Sam would be lost in a world of tangles and painful knots trying to rid herself of its toughness. "So… how long do you suppose we'll be here? I mean… little Kakashi is kind of a grump… but _man!_ Minato is so sexy!" It was lucky the bush and the river weren't too far from each other. Sam could already feel her ears burning if said shinobi heard her thoughts about his appearance.

Tori couldn't quite hear Sam under her growing mountain of shampoo suds, but she caught the last part about Minato's sexiness and couldn't help but smirk. "Oh, Sam, You are pretty darn twitterpated. You remember the part where the guy almost slit both our throats in the woods, right?"

Sam scoffed, "Yeah, so? He's just doing his job." She finished rinsing out the conditioner before going to the edge of the river near where Tori was still washing her hair. "Even if Kakashi isn't as nice as in the future, there's at least Minato. And you're darn tootin' I'm twitterpated! I mean… He's _the_ Yellow Flash! The future _Fourth Hokage_." Sam whispered the last part, to make sure even if they were being overheard, they wouldn't hear that.

"He's married," Tori whispered back.

"Yeah, but he's hot, okay!" Sam automatically responded, referring to previous conversations they'd had about Minato's appearance.

Tori tilted her head - which looked ridiculous with how high her shampoo mountain had gotten. "I thought that was Kakashi's last name.."

"Uh, what? What do you mean?" Sam asked, confused, not quite understanding what Tori was saying, "How'd you get Hatake out of what I said?"

"He's..Hatake?" Tori said slowly, "Isn't that what you said?"

Sam gave Tori a look, "Really?" She nearly snorted, "That's uh… not _quite_ what I was going for, as I said he's ' _hot...o...kay?'_ , but…" And the more Sam thought about it, the more she couldn't help but laugh louder, "Wow… you really have it just as bad as I do, don't you? Anyways, I'm done!" She looked at the ground towards the bush where her clothes were. "Now… how do I get to my clothes without my feet getting muddy?" _Looks like the towel will have to wash my feet off once I am able to dress._

Victoria blushed and avoided answering by dunking her whole head under the rushing water to rinse the shampoo. When she finally pulled her head back out, her cheeks were still just as pink. "Well. Whether I have it as bad or not, it doesn't matter now, does it? Cuz that little scowly man is not the same as being around His Royal Hotness. So. I am about to become thoroughly inoculated, I would guess. Maybe I'll start ogling your man." She stuck out her tongue at Sam for good measure.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sam stuck her tongue out, too, "He's not _my_ man, ya know. And also! If K gets to be 'His Royal Hotness' than M gets to be the 'Magnificent God.'"

Tori grimaced a little as she began to massage the conditioner into her very tangled hair. "Seems a wee bit sacreligious, Sam-Sam. Though I do agree it's hard not to associate him with deity...how about "Divine Majesty or Emperor of Hot or Sexy Angel?"

After a few moments of debate during which Tori nearly lost the soap to the river and Sam found a way to get her feet clean of mud, the two ladies decided that Minato's codename was to be "The Sexy Beast."

"And, I guess for Obito and Rin, we can just go with first initials again," Tori declared, hurling the bottle of conditioner over onto the shoreline and then retucking her towel modestly back around herself. "I almost feel like we need a separate identifier for little Kakashi though. He's so different from the Hotness we left behind."

Sam chuckled at Tori. "Well..how about LK - for Little Kakashi?"

"I was just gonna suggest TK - for Tiny Kakashi!" Tori laughed brightly.

"Awesome! So now we have His Royal Hotness for future Kakashi, and TK for past Kakashi." Sam paused, thinking about what she'd just said. "Wait wait wait... If we're in the past. _His_ past, does that mean… he knew us in the future? Did Royal Hotness know who we were!? What a buttmunch!" Sam looked towards Tori, wondering if her friend was thinking the same thing.

Victoria frowned and considered that as she started wading her way back in - wishing briefly that she had saved her towel to actually dry off instead of dragging it into the river with her. "Maybe..?" she said hesitantly. "I mean, the whole mess with Konohamaru and Lady T seemed to suggest that everything is consistent - like, we aren't entering different realities every time, so… I mean, maybe he doesn't remember us by the time we arrived, but I guess he has met us. Had. Oi." She grimaced at the mud on her toes and shuffled over to the bush she had left her shoes and a bag of clothes that appeared to have been selected just for her - as indicated by the little Victoria doodle Himawari had sketched on its luggage tag. "Point in fact, if the Konohamaru guy and Lady Tsunade knew and recognized us before we remember meeting them, then that definitely means that Royal Hotness probably knew us on sight too. If, ya know, we made enough of an impression to be remembered thirteen years later."

As for Sam, she had already managed to get dressed. Finally having a variety of clothing options was the best thing ever! She had been quite pleased by most of what Boruto and the others had dug up for her. (And, yes, her hat was safe. She had had Tori check as soon as they reached the privacy of the woods and before shampoo was procured.) All told, she was quite pleased with her new outfit. It was very similar to the awesome outfit Daenerys Targaryen wore when she was taking Slaver's Bay. The skinny, black jeggings went well with the shinobi blue top that buttoned together similar to a kimono off to the side. The sleeves were capped at the shoulders, and the hem of the top flowed down to her knees, beginning to widen from the front of the waist down. On the inside of the top above the hem were pockets. At least five of them. Fingerless gloves, the same shinobi blue as her top, were also provided, which Sam heartily put on as she considered what Tori had said.

"Hm," Sam thought, holding her chin in her hands, "That's true. Lady T did seem to know exactly who we were so… but then… why wouldn't K say anything?" Stretching her legs out and leaning back against her hands, Samantha looked towards the sky. "And if he _did_ know who we were… how long do you think that means we're here, for?" After all, both Sam and Tori had families back home. Samantha felt a little homesick for her family, wishing she could talk to them again. Her stomach tightened at the thought that they'd never see them again, but quickly threw that thought out. It wouldn't do to get depressed right then.

"Based on the amount of ramen bowls on the scroll, I think it's gonna be at least a little while," Tori said with a small grimace. "At this point, I'm leaving it in the hands of God and Boruto." She pointed a warning finger up at the sky. "And none of Team Boruto better be watching right now," she scolded. "Pervs and creeps everywhere, I'm tellin' ya."

"Hear hear!" Sam gave a lazy salute.

Tori glared down at her muddy toes as she contemplated how to manage to get her new pants on while still staying clean. "I'm thinking we should definitely take a quick moment to look through our supplies before we head back to the group, though," she said as she hopped over to a handy rock for cleaning her toes off. "Cuz..I would like to see if there's any other shoes. These ones are killing me."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Samantha replied, "If they gave me an entire _drawer_ filled with socks, there could be all kinds of treasures in that scroll!" She bit her lip, eagerly bouncing closer to Victoria.

Tori looked up and squeaked. "Hey! I'm not a Speedy Gonzales like you! Stay with your own bush a minute, madam!" After Sam apologized and retreated, Tori quickly scrambled into the new cargo pants that had been packed for her. They were a half size too small. "Dang it." Tori took a moment to dig the scroll out of her pile of dirty clothes and gently tossed it over to Sam. "Here. You look while I fight with these pants for a minute." And Tori then proceeded to do the "make these pants fit!" dance. It involved lots of hopping and sucking in.

"Oo, okay!" Sam caught the scroll, almost dropping it, but grabbed it in the nick of time. She grinned victoriously, before opening up the scroll. The scroll was actually impressively well organized. There seemed to be three main sections: the first part of the scroll was all survival stuff: a whole bunch of weapons, a tent, backpacks, pillows and blankets, the first aid kit, the infamous "noodle" rope, what looked like coats, the sock drawer, Sam's hat, and - based on the drawing of a fire - matches. There were a few blank spots where there had been the clothing bag, their towels, shampoo, and the new walking stick that Tori had requested. There were four shoes listed too. Sam's first attempt to unseal did absolutely nothing. With a huff, she took a few minutes to focus and was finally rewarded with that distant tingle in her fingers. Remembering Himawari's caution, she mentally tried to hold back a bit of the tingle and out spat all four pairs of shoes. She set aside the two that seemed to be Tori's size and then examined her options. Taking a look at the shoes, Samantha quickly decided that she'd be wearing her black sketchers. She did _not_ want blisters, thank you. Those sucked! Plus, she had seen how Tori had fared with her toeless sandals. They looked super uncomfortable.

On the other side of the bush Tori squawked and there was the sound of someone falling over into a bush. "Don't worry. I'm okay. It was just my face.."

"As long as it's just your face," Sam passively commented, eyes never parting from the ninja version of pinterest. The second section of the scroll was food - that seemed to take the most amount of room. Tori was right; there were a loooooot of ramen bowls, and nearly as many hamburgers. Sam couldn't help but giggle at the sight. "Leave it to Boruto," she murmured with a shake of her head.

Samantha had to keep unravelling and unravelling the scroll to get to section three. Under the last seal for some applesauce, was a new row of seals. These didn't have little pictures next to them, so, since Tori was still dressing, Sam unsealed the first mark. Out popped a fresh notebook - it looked almost exactly like the one she had picked out when they went shopping with Kakashi! Eager and curious, she quickly unsealed several more notebooks, a box of pencils, a sketchbook, blank flashcards, and what looked like children's books. _This will be perfect to work on my kanji studying! And to try to teach Tori.._ Of course, they wouldn't be able to do it quite yet. That would be beyond suspicious to reveal that they didn't even know how to read the language they were theoretically speaking!

Victoria, having finally conquered the pants, had quickly shimmied into a new shirt - gray, tunic style with the asymmetrical hem she favored - and then began to carefully wrap the black brace according to the picture instructions that came with it. The brace was vest like but had a long pair of straps that she wrapped around her ribs several time. The consistent pressure made it feel so much better! It even helped her straighten her spine back out, and Tori realized the amount of tension she had been holding to keep her ribs from moving. "Oh, it hurts so good," she quipped, "and looks stylish. Ninja fashion, yo." Gathering up her bag, wet towel, and dirty clothes, Tori picked her way over. Setting things down, she grabbed a clean pair of socks from her bag and then investigated the shoes. "These look better.." Grabbing the pair of regular tennis shoes, Tori took a seat on the handy log Sam had found. "Man, those kids really did think of everything," she declared, pointing at the books, "That's so awesome."

"No kidding! These'll just be perfect!" Sam smiled giddily, looking forward to more studying. _I wonder how much we could get away with asking language questions…_ she mused.

Tori carefully cleaned off her feet and applied a fresh bandaid to her poor toe. "It's endearing and a little scary how much they packed for us," Victoria said. "Either they seriously overpacked out of guilt for the whole mess, or they have a much higher belief in my wilderness survival skills than I do." Spotting a hair brush near Sam's bag, Victoria stole it to quickly sort out her tangled hair. She pointed at the last seal. "What do you think that is?"

"Hm," Sam pondered, looking at the sealed item. It had the look of a frog, while Himawari had drawn some sort of bubbles near it. Like the frog was burping bubbles. Sam sniggered at the thought. "Looks like a frog burping. Maybe it's a drunk frog?" She giggled again. Even saying it out loud was as ridiculous as it looked.

"Oh no! Not Toad-San," Tori laughed. "That poor thing has been through enough!"

"Hm. You think they could _actually_ seal away a living creature? Dude… that'd be nuts! How would you breath?"

Tori tilted her head. "Well, the ramen stays hot. Maybe time is suspended?"

"Touché," Sam nodded, "Who knows? Not that I'd like to find out or anything… That'd be a _little_ too risky if you ask me." She then went to place her hand above the seal, "Shall we find out what it is?" She grinned. Plus, Tori was such a natural with the seals, Sam really wanted to practice and get just as good.

Tori gave her a slow side eye, but then shrugged. "Eh. Why not? Worse that happens, we really do unleash a manic toad and have to scream for help from Sexy Beast and friends." Hair brushed, she parted it and began to swiftly french braid herself matching pigtails. Maybe that would keep the tangles from overtaking her life.

Sam gave an evil laugh, "That's right! Bow down ye fiends of the scroll!" She chanted, doing the necessary hand sign and, concentrating on her chakra (such a weird feeling! Sam still wasn't sure how she felt about the physical reaction she could feel to noticing something _inside_ her body) she was soon able to successfully release the sealed frog. It made her feel out of breath still, but if the anime were to be believed, chakra was like a muscle. It could grow in strength with time! What popped out of the scroll was a surprise which Sam easily recognized. "No way…" Sam breathed, slightly giddy, "Dude…" Sam whirled to face Tori, having grabbed the frog and held it in front of her friend, "Do you have any idea what this is?"

Tori arched an eyebrow at her. "A froggy coin purse?"

"Yes!" Sam said with excitement, shaking the frog in Tori's face, "Well, I can't say for sure that it's _the_ frog purse but… Naruto totally had one just like that." She laughed again, "Oh that's just too hilarious! I can't believe that Boruto did that." Sam smiled like a little girl until she opened the frog purse. It was then her jaw dropped. "No way…"

"Dead frogs inside?" Tori asked in a total deadpan voice. "Man. We have all the luck."

With a snort, Sam rose an amused eyebrow, "No. Not dead frogs." She laid bare the contents for Tori to see, "It's money! _So much_ money!"

Tori raised an eyebrow and then wavered between a grin and a frown. "Wow. These kids, man. Did they rob a bank? Or does ninja-ing actually pay that good even for teenagers?"

"Eh?" Sam contemplated, closing the frog-purse once more, "Well… Naruto _is_ the Hokage. I would assume he makes bank."

"Yeah, but, what are they just stealing it from their mom? Just cuz Daddy's not around doesn't mean teenage son has the bank account, right?"

"Who knows?" Sam shrugged, "Whatever the case, this'll definitely save us from having to ask someone to buy us food. Though… it was kinda fun getting Jiraiya to get us food." She smiled, biting her lip. A silent giggle welling up inside. Really, the whole idea of Jiraiya buying them food was just hilarious.

Tori finished tying off her second french braid and tossed Sam back her brush. "You are ridiculous, my friend. And we have taken about half of forever getting clean. We should probably start packing back up before Team Sexy Beast just walk away and leave us to the mercy of the river and the mosquitos."

"Eh? We're women," Sam stated matter-of-fact. As if that meant anything at all in the terms of not being left behind. "But I wouldn't mind getting away from the mosquitos. They don't like me, but that doesn't mean I like being around them." She nodded while putting away the brush. "Alright! Let's go!"

It took a minute to get all their random items organized in a way that made a little bit of sense. Sam complained a bit when Tori declared that since they were already near water they should quickly wash their jail clothes. Only the fact that it meant not abandoning her skinny jeans seemed to convince Sam. Tori grimaced a little at the resulting pile of river-rinsed clothes and sodden towels, but the scroll seemed totally content to accept the strange offering. "We can hang them from a tree tonight," she pointed out, "and repack them in the morning." Victoria bustled to seal away the clothing bags and stuff a bunch of easy snacks into a backpack. They also put a very small and reasonable amount of coinage into Sam's pockets before sealing away Mr. Froggy. Finally, Victoria very carefully sealed the tiny scrap of seal-scroll that Boruto had used to smuggle them the scroll that contained all their awesome, new treasures. _Who knows. We may have to hide even our nifty scroll away sometime. We do get taken into custody a lot._ "Oookay. And then let's grab that lunch and go see if they left us." She pointed at where two hamburgers happily sat on the log, awaiting Sam's assistance. Tori's own arms were full of water bottles and her walking stick.

"'Bout time!" Sam declared, snagging the sandwiches and boldly striding forward. As she marched, Sam examined a kunai that she had kept from the scroll since it had caught her fancy. _It looks like Team Konohamaru left us some awesome weapons. This is so freaking cool! Now… if only I knew how to wield it._ She spun the kunai in her hand in the way she'd learned how to twist a sword. Seemed easy enough, even if the kunai wasn't anything fancy in and of itself.

Tori winced - not cuz Sam wasn't cool enough to wield a razor sharp blade, but because it was only too easy for her paranoid self to suddenly imagine it falling and impaling itself in Sam's thigh or something. "Are you sure you wanna carry that?" she hedged. "I'm just worried you'll shoot your eye out - or, ya know, whatever the ninja knife equivalent would be."

With a scoff, Sam muttered, " _One time_ I _accidentally_ cut myself with a boxing knife and it has _everyone_ paranoid." She shook her head, unable to help the amusement from her eyes, "Of course I'm sure. It's not like I'm actually gonna shoot my eye out. Plus, there's no physical way of shooting my eye out with a _kunai_."

"Stab your eye out then," Tori said. "And I just worry cuz I love ya. And..ya know, general anxiety and all that jazz. You promise you won't challenge miscreants to a duel or anything, at least, right? I don't wanna be a ninja by myself."

"I promise nothing." Sam stated with a straight face. Then they both burst out in giggles. "You really wouldn't wanna be a ninja? But it'd be _so cool!_ "

"What'd be so cool?" Obito's voice rang out. Both Sam and Tori jumped at being caught off guard in their chatter. They both watched as Obito, Kakashi, Rin and Minato came into view, just in time to see Obito turn towards Kakashi. "See! I told you they'd come back. Pay up!" Obito held out his hand, and Kakashi made an annoyed 'tch', before pulling out a coin and handing it to Obito.

"Now now, you two, what did I say about betting like that?" Minato chastised lightly, though he did have a stern look in his eye.

"Not to." Obito pouted, but still tucked the coin into his pocket.

"Uh, you were betting that we wouldn't come back?" Sam asked, blinking in surprise.

"No, I bet that you would!" Obito declared proudly.

Tori raised an eyebrow. "But your friend seemed to think we'd turn tail.." She looked up and managed to - for the first time - catch Kakashi's actual gaze. She gave him a bit of a "you won't get rid of us that easily" look.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause that's just stupid Kakashi," Obito shrugged indifferently.

Sam gazed at Kakashi, too, watching as his gaze hovered over the two of them. Sam definitely wasn't surprised. They must surely have been a bother. Especially to the mission. And since their pit stop had taken over an hour.

"Obito!" Rin scolded and Obito hunched down a bit under her hidden rebuke.

"Well it's true," He muttered, unable to stop from defending his thoughts.

"We are sorry that we took so long," Tori said, "We decided to organize our supplies a little better and wash our clothes too. But! We brought some snacks as a peace offering.."

"Yeah! And we think you'll like it!" Sam turned and opened up the pack that Tori was carrying, and pulled out a bunch of Pocky. "At least… we hope you like it."

"We have chips, too," Tori offered with a bit of a smile.

Tiny Kakashi's eyes narrowed and he scoffed and turned away. "We shouldn't be wasting time," he said sharply. "We _should_ get moving."

"Ah, heh, Kakashi-san is right. We do need to get going," Minato placated, smoothing the tone of Kakashi's voice with his own, "We've got quite a ways to go before we arrive back in Konoha."

"How long is quite a ways, would you say?" Sam asked.

"Well, it should take us about six days at a civilian pace," Minato stated, his smile endearing. It was a nice change to see that he didn't seem annoyed in comparison to Kakashi who seemed to glower at the idea of taking so long.

"Well… six days, huh?" Sam glanced at her feet. _I really hope my feet can take it._

Tori's calves twinged just at the thought of the walking - and her brain couldn't even comprehend the thought of six days of camping without a toilet in sight. Like, it just blocked the information out to keep her from collapsing on the ground and crying until the 70% of her that was water evaporated and all that was left was some dried up calcium and a bitter hatred of all things camping. Instead, she thought of how much a six day delay must mess up a mission and shook her head. "We didn't realize it was so far. We really shouldn't tie you up that long. You guys should go ahead. I'm sure we won't get too lost. Just follow the road, right?"

"Oh no, it's no big deal." Minato said, waving a hand to confirm his words.

"Yeah! We can totally take you with us!" Obito cheered. Sam gulped a little when she saw Kakashi's glare at the idea. _Good grief… I wonder how terrible it is of me to say that I miss him when he's older? He's much nicer…_

It was as Obito was chattering away while they began their walk that a bird came and landed on a branch near Minato. The future hokage - _man he's such a sexy beast!_ \- narrowed his gaze and approached the bird, taking a piece of parchment off the animal's foot, taking care to read the note. They all watched with bated breath as he folded the parchment, stuffed it in a pocket, then sighed as he turned towards them. "I'm so sorry, Samantha-San, Victoria-San. Unfortunately we have another mission that we must attend to. But I can leave one of my team to lead you back to Konoha." He directed his gaze towards Kakashi, "Kakashi-san, please escort these ladies back to Konoha."

Victoria's eyes went huge at the suggestion. It would be too, too weird! Especially with how totally he obviously didn't want to do it when it was the whole team.

Contrary to what Tori might have expected, though, Kakashi respected the hierarchy of rank….and, more truthfully, he respected Minato Namikaze. The short boy folded his arms and gave a small nod to affirm his acceptance of the new mission. "And what of our original mission, Minato-Sensei?"

"Our new orders are an adaptation to the original. Rin, Obito, and I will be able to complete it while you take our guests to Konoha. I'll write you a note to give to Lord Hokage when you arrive back home."

"Yeah, Kakashi! We'll be _just_ fine without you!" Obito boasted, happily. Rin laughed into her hand, though she did try to hide it.

The way the two seemed to team up against the younger kid, just didn't seem right to Victoria, but maybe she was seeing unkindness where it was really just long-entrenched teasing between schoolmates? Certainly, Kakashi didn't seem to see any reason to respond to Obito's jib. Instead, he took the moment to recheck his weaponry while Minato was scribbling down a response for the raven to take back to affirm their having received the message - and also the adaptation of Kakashi bringing two strangers home with him.

In the meantime, Tori distracted Obito from his teasing by offering that he and Rin take at least some of the snacks from their pack and, as only a hungry teenager could, Obito was sufficiently caught up in debating between barbeque or shrimp-flavored chips. "Oo, take the shrimp," she encouraged, knowing there was no way on earth she was gonna try those now that she knew what the package meant.

Sam silently agreed with Tori, as she was not particularly fond of shrimp herself, though she could have done with having Obito or even Rin as their escort back to Konoha. Kakashi, well…. Little Kakashi, was such a grump! It seemed to be far worse than the anime had portrayed. But that could've been because they were actually around the young chunin. In any case, as the three watched the rest of Team Minato leave in the opposite direction that Konoha lay, Sam felt a twinge of her heart go with the sunkissed future Hokage. A part of her was almost afraid to be left alone without an adult ninja to guide them. She glanced at Kakashi _He's just… so young! I know he's supposed to be a prodigy, but it's hard to believe…_ Sam bit her lip. She really wanted to see Minato fight! He was so flippin' cool, it was unfair! _What's the off-chance that we'll see him again? Le-sigh, probably never._

* * *

 **Bonus Scene: Watch What You Say**

As they ambled along, the group naturally stretched back out to its former dimensions: Obito and Rin stayed with Tori and Sam while Minato fell back to the rear. Kakashi's short legs moved much faster than either Sam or Tori so he disappeared up ahead. Victoria had figured they weren't likely to see him again for awhile, so she jumped and "Eeep!"ed when he suddenly dropped onto the road in front of them.

The nine-year-old glared at the group impatiently. "Why must Sensei constantly pick up strays?" he muttered.

Sam fisted her hands on her hips, just holding back a laugh at how disgruntled Tiny Kakashi was. "Awh, but I thought you were good with dogs!" she teased.

Tiny Kakashi stiffened in surprise. His dark, silver eyes narrowed, one hand moving to the handle of a kunai. "..How..would you know that?" he said slowly.

Victoria sensed the trouble in the air, and instantly she grabbed an explanation from nothing. "Obito said it." She pointed to the be-goggled boy as though to provide proof.

The accused Obito blinked. "I did?" He scratched the back of his head and shared a look with Rin. "We were talking about cool things I did for our last mission, and Rin. I guess we did talk about Kakashi a bit. But it's not like he does his dog summoning very often so I don't remember saying anything about it, even though it is kinda cool, but stupid Kakashi is such a show-off anyway."

As Obito continued to ramble, Kakashi placed a hand to his forehead and muttered to himself, "Why do I even bother with this team?"

Victoria broke in as Obito drew breath. "Well you do talk a lot, Obito. Do you remember to listen to yourself when you talk?" she asked gently, sympathetically adding, "I forget to sometimes."

A laugh bubbled up in Sam's throat - not only from Tori's ridiculous words, but also the reactions of each of the members of Team Minato to the whole silliness of the conversation. "You do?" she asked Tori incredulously.

Tori blushed. " Well...yeah… Sometimes. It happens when you babble."

Kakashi gave Obito a sardonic smirk. "That explains a lot."

Obito's loud protest moved the conversation further and after a moment, Tori and Sam exchanged a quick look and both sighed with relief. They were gonna need to be a lot more careful with what they said around these three!

* * *

 **A/N: Hello my lovely peoples! This is Tori for today's author's note. I just wanted you all to know that I love your faces. Not that I can actually see your face, or have any idea who you really are, but I love the idea of your face, and how it must smile when you read our ridiculousness. It bringeth me joy. I see you. In my heart. Which, MangaGeek tells me is weird. And that I shouldn't write that in the Author's Note. I'm sorry. I really don't listen to what I say sometimes. But, this is the most important thing for you to know: this story makes me happy, and I hope it makes you happy too. If you want me to reassure me that it does indeed make you happy, and that its existence is not some terrible ordeal, or particularly nasty act of karma, then you should leave a review. Or, ya know, you could in a review tell me that it was the graveyard of your dreams. I would be sad, and confused why you read this far if you actually hated it that much, but I guess I could understand. We are a little...questionable. But hey. Thanks for the page views. To the rest of you, you're awesome. And we would seriously integrate almost any suggestions for cameos or fan service that ya might be in the lookout for...so long as they weren't totally scandalous. We are ladies after all, as we warned Jiraiya, many a moon ago.**

 **Anywhoodle. Love ya, readers! Hope you have a great week, and nobody throws you in ninja jail. *heart* RoyalVicTorie**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten: ...That the Truth Hurts More Than Any Split Blister**

With their splitting ways at the "fork" in their path, there was little to occupy Sam and Tori with except for a grumpy kid who thought he was more grown up than he actually was. Sam felt her heart ache just a little that Kakashi never had a proper childhood; one that he could enjoy. But really, who did in the ninja world? Did civilians? Sam wasn't sure. So, with some desire to help Little Kakashi glean a tiny bit of what it was like to be normal, she began to hum. Who said that a little My Chemical Romance wasn't good for the angsty soul?

"... Blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, give me all that I can drink and it will never be enough…" She sang, smirking at Tori since Sam couldn't remember every single word of the song.

Tori snorted at Sam's interruption of the silence that had weighed them down for the last hour or so. "So grab a glass because there's going to be a flood," she growled in a suitably creepy imitation of Gerard Way. She then shook her head. "Oh, Sam. Of all the songs…". Tori huffed a little, trying not to give away the fact it was taking quite a bit of effort for her to keep pace with Sam's quick stride. Probably too much effort to sing too what with the ribs and the foot and everything. "You are going to give our poor escort all sorts of the wrong idea about us. You couldn't go for some..I dunno, Vanessa Carlton or something?" She nodded her head to where Tiny Kakashi strode about twenty yards ahead of them, his gaze often scanning the tree line.

Sam turned around, walking backwards to face Tor, sticking her tongue out cheekily, "But it's such a good, angsty song! C'mon, you gotta admit, My Chemical Romance is simply fantastic when you're angsty."

"Well, yeah," Tori agreed, silently praying that Sam kept walking backward as it made her slower. "Are you angsty right now, Sam?"

"Me?" Sam blinked, surprised, "Pfft! Hah! No. I'm not." She turned to glance at Kakashi, his body obviously tense with keeping vigilant watch, "I just know that it helps to calm situations down when they may seem tense." Sam shrugged.

Victoria smiled sadly. "Kind of a weird twist to our story, eh?" She said, nodding significantly at Kakashi and his so-not-interested-in-your-life-story way of avoiding looking at them. "Well, I will agree to tension breaking, but maybe not ones with gallons of blood?" She teased. "I will counter with the offer of 'Black Parade.' Deal?"

Samantha snorted, "C'mon. My choice was good! But alright, alright," she satiated, "Black Parade it is."

Victoria was amused, exasperated, and proud of Sam all at the same time. Sam truly was handling things so well: finding ways to be cheeky and playful and she seemed to be genuinely excited with the opportunity fate (or more accurately Boruto) had thrown them into. She had worked so hard with Hinata that one day and even when they were locked up in that super crummy jail, Samantha had gone through the forms and exercises she had learned from Rock Lee and TenTen. Even getting ditched by Minato - who was so inconceivably beautiful Tori had trouble even imaging his face now that he had left - had not seemed to dampen Sam's spirits. Tori knew that Sam in their real world had her own struggles with anxiety and even depression, even if she was unwilling to accept the label or visit a doctor for an actual diagnosis. It made Tori worry.

But, then again, that was a pretty normal state for Victoria.

As they continued to sing the miles past,Victoria found herself walking slower and slower, limping to favor the aching toe. A stickiness inside her shoe made her think either she had already split a blister or else the torn up toenail had started to bleed. Biting her lip hard, she kept bargaining with her pride - promising to her burning lungs and aching feet that she could go at least another ten steps before begging for a break.

Sam had unconsciously gotten further ahead, her fists clenching as she dramatically sang AmaLee's version of "Golden Time Lover" from Fullmetal Alchemist.

Tiny Kakashi waited at the top of a small hill, watching impassively their approach. He raised an eyebrow at Sam as she finished. "Are you finished yet?" He asked abruptly. "Or will this be the entire way to Konoha?"

Samantha stared wide eyed at Tiny Kakashi, almost as if she were shocked. "You mean... that's not enough for you? Were you needing a different genre then?" She blinked and snapped her fingers, "Oh! I've got it!" And proceeded to sing the song, "Country Roads," placing Konoha in West Virginia's place. Of course, Sam was teasing the young chunin, hoping to lighten his mood a bit. She didn't do well with anger.

Tiny Kakashi stared expressionlessly at her for a long moment and then gave a very soft sigh that held enough weariness to possibly make even Shikadai concerned. He then quickly did a visual sweep of their area - it would seem he didn't trust even a minute to pass without checking that they were safe. His gaze stopped at the bottom of the hill behind Sam's shoulder. "I think there's something wrong with that one," he said rather grudgingly, interrupting Sam's singing, "Or does she always walk like that?"

Confused, Sam twisted about, her gaze shooting to Tori. Her poor, dear, hates-to-hike friend was at the bottom of the - admittedly - steep hill, both hands clutching at her walking stick… and for good reason as it seemed to be the only thing keeping her seemed to have lost her footing, and she was now weirdly balanced in what looked to be an uncomfortable crouch at the base of her walking stick like a really incompetent pole dancer. Her other leg was caught behind her further down the hill. _Ouch!_ Sam thought, as Tori appeared to be trying to toe the lost leg back up to the rest of her without losing the upward progress she had already gained.

"No… no she doesn't always walk like that." Sam worried her lip, brow furrowed. Tori still had broken ribs; a fall like that would be super painful. "Are you okay?" Sam called down to her friend.

Victoria's lower lip trembled around her reply. She really, _really_ didn't want to cry, but...but… "N-no…" she finally managed to call up the horrible, horrible hill with its stupid slippery grass. Just then her lower foot slipped and Tori fell sideways and backwards - her walking stick banging down on her head as she went heels over head back down a few feet. "Hnn -Gah!" she half-grunted, half-cried as all the various pains from toe and leg and bruised skull converged on her stupid ribs which were now throbbing in agony even through the pain pill she had taken the hour before. She began to shake as tears poured out, but dang it all, she was not going to let a single sob out! "H-h- ow. Ow, ow, ow." she whispered to herself, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." If she said it enough maybe the hurt would all run away in her words like it used to when she was a kid and the worst thing to happen was being forced to do team sports.

Tiny Kakashi rolled his eyes at the incompetence of it all. Even Tori would have admitted, had she not been so exhausted and brain-hurt, that her plan to rise from her weird crouch was against the rules of even this earth's gravity. The chunin scoffed and went back to scanning the forest. "We'll be here forever if you don't go help her," he pointed out to Sam.

Samantha gave Kakashi a scathing look, "Some gentlemen you are," Sam had already begun hurrying over to her friend as she rebuked the young boy. Because, despite Kakashi being considered an adult in the shinobi world, he was still just a kid who needed to learn how to get over his pain. Though Sam could admit that her rebuke probably didn't help that matter at all. Still... "Hang on, Tor!" She called out, rushing as much as she dared down the hill. "It's gonna be okay," She crouched down, placing a comforting hand on Victoria's shoulder and then began to carefully help Tori sit up at least enough that she wasn't in danger of falling further down the hill.

As Sam helped her, Tori's tears came faster. She so didn't deserve a friend like Sam when she was so slow and fat and lame. "I'm sorry," she mumbled shakily, "Ugh. So stupid!" She winced at every movement and barely held back a sob. The awful days in the jail had hammered home quite sufficiently how much sobbing hurt when one had broken ribs. "This was a mistake. All of it. I was so stupid to think I could keep up. I can't do it. I can't do any of it."

"You _can_ do this," Sam declared fiercely, "I believe in you! So does the Lord. Remember, He said 'Through the strength of the Lord - through Christ - you can do all things," Sometimes it was good to remember that they weren't treading through life alone. _We're here for a reason. Maybe it's to help Boruto and them, or to help the ninja world gain perspective in a different way… who knows?_

 _The Lord must have confused my strength with someone much tougher. Like a field mouse. Or a flea._ Tori thought despairingly, shaking her head a little at Sam's words but unable to find a voice. Her hand shook as she tried to rub away some of the stinging tears pouring down her face.

"Would you like to rest for a minute?" Sam offered, "I definitely would! My legs are _exhausted_." Going uphill was harsh, and Samantha had definitely let go of the idea that she'd at least not have a face like a cherry a long time ago. Her face tended to go that red when she was over-exerting herself. She kinda felt like an anime character who would fall flat on their face from being so tired.

"Kakashi, do you have any water?" She asked the alert chunin. With both her and Victoria so exhausted from exerting themselves, she figured it'd be a good idea to _not_ try and use chakra to pull out a water bottle.

This time the sigh was audible from down the hill. After a second the ninja popped in front of them and silently held out a canteen. He gave them a frustrated glare. "Could she have picked a less defensible spot?" He muttered.

"Perhaps if she had chosen to stop, she'd have picked a better place." Sam defended, "Besides, aren't you a capable shinobi? Isn't that why your sensei trusted you to be on your own?"

Tiny Kakashi gave Samantha a look that clearly said "could you be any more of an idiot?" "We are on the edge of disputed territory. Even I would be a little hard pressed to deal with an entire legion of the Rock shinobi." He tsked his tongue with displeasure at the bother of explaining the obvious. "Being successful on a mission means controlling every factor you can to prevent complications."

Samantha bristled, "Exactly. Every factor. Which means you should factor in when two civilians who have not trained their whole lives to be shinobi and end up traveling with a kid who has just a little more experience. You should factor in our strengths and weaknesses."

Tori winced at the angry sound of their voices; they were both right, of course, but either way it was her fault for being so horribly incompetent. Her knees trembled angrily at her as she scooted to the left, but she managed to snag the end of her walking stick from the grass. Just the effort to bend forward made her vision blur just a bit. _Whoa. Nope. Gotta suck it up. Just keep swimming, Tori. Just keep swimming. Swimming, swimming, swimming or they'll abandon you to the sharks and your mangled chewed up body will never get home. Come on. One move at a time. Start with sliding your right foot til it's braced by that rock._

"Clearly I overestimated even your abilities to walk in a straight line," Tiny Kakashi bit back, having the effrontery to look away from Sam yet again. "Six days - Minato-Sensei must have been wildly optimistic."

Samantha frowned with disapproval. "If you really dislike helping us out - like any moral person would be - you can go, ya know. We, good Samaritan people, are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves." Sam laid the guilt on thick. Truly, this kid was a punk at this age. She was amazed at the change in Kakashi compared to his young self.

"Sam," Tori protested softly. "This wasn't his choice, remember?" Samantha retorted with a 'I know that' all the while, with a massive amount of effort Tori managed to shift unsteadily onto her knees without sliding any further down the embankment.

Kakashi stiffened - Although it was hard to tell what offended him more: the implication that he would just walk away from his duty, that Sam had accused him of having no morals, or the simple fact that one of the useless leeches had the nerve to defend him. "I will never abandon a mission," he said coldly. "No matter how annoying or costly it proves to be."

"Okay, but therein lies your problem. One: your 'clients' are relieving you of your duty. Two: if you stick to that line of thinking, you may end up watching your best friend get killed." As much as Sam figured they shouldn't give hints or exploit their knowledge for danger of changing the plot, there was no way she'd be able to forgive herself if she did absolutely nothing when they had the chance. A life was worth more than a plot.

Tori forced herself up the rest of the way, gripping the walking stick tightly. "Sam," she said more firmly, although it was hard to take her tear-streaked features and trembly lip as an example of strength and courage. "Like or not, we need to listen to him. He's trying to save our lives. There's a war going on. And Heaven knows we aren't gonna make it back alive without help. Stop being so proud. There's just.." Tori sighed defeatedly and shook her head. "Just no point in it.." Victoria then began to - slowly - make her way back up the hill, this time heading along the shape of the hill like a switchback instead of trying to make up time by going straight up. Tori didn't wait for Sam and Kakashi to decide if they were coming or not cuz she knew the both of them could have gone up and down the hill twice before she was even close to the top.

Kakashi glared at Samantha. "Out of respect for my sensei, I'll give you one chance to reconsider your refusal of the Leaf Village's protection."

Samantha clenched her jaw, folding her arms tightly as she glared Little Kakashi down while at the same time watching out of her peripheral Victoria's marching forward on her a small pang of guilt clung to Sam, she had to argue that she wasn't being proud. No matter what Tor thought she was being at any given point, proud wasn't one of them.

Honestly, Sam missed the older version of the copy-cat ninja. He was much easier to get along with. Granted, a part of her recognized that this was probably due to the relationship they made with him at the current point in time they were at... Still. Narrowing her eyes, Samantha pointedly glanced at Victoria's retreating back, before gathering the gumption to glare Kakashi down once again.

"Out of respect for Victoria, I won't tell you to go. Just don't forget that we've got one thing in common. We're both human beings. We've both gone through things that have shaped and will continue to shape our lives. As for me, my loyalty is towards Victoria. I'm trusting you because she does." Sam then stalked forward to catch up to Tori, her body shaking slightly. It always got that way when she felt like she needed to defend herself or others. Not that she didn't trust Kakashi - after all, he was a jounin by the time he was what? Thirteen? - It was just that he was pissing Sam off so much, she wasn't sure how much she could tolerate his attitude.

Tiny Kakashi seemed to wait for a time behind them, and then softly muttered something to himself before darting back up the slope -though he chose to give Sam and Victoria a wide berth. An uneasy silence hovered over the trio, and they moved slowly because they silently all seemed to agree that Tori should be the one to set the pace. The dreaded hill was gradually conquered and then another one after that. Victoria broke the silence briefly to ask Kakashi why they hadn't stayed on the road. After an appraising glance at Sam, he answered: "Although the road may be easier to travel, without a full squad as backup, it is too dangerous to risk walking into an enemy trap. It made be harder on your feet, but it will also shave a few miles off the journey."

"Work harder to be lazier," Tori quipped, trying a tentative smile. "And safer too, in this case."

Samantha managed a small smile just as Kakashi gave a little grunt of his own as acknowledgment. Though there was still some static tension, neither Sam nor their tiny guide felt the need to bring up another fight. "Fair enough. Better safe than sorry."

Victoria nodded a little more firmly, as though to acknowledge that they had all participated in the conversation without biting each others' heads off. A few more minutes passed, and then Victoria hummed a little. "Um, Kakashi-Kun, do you think we could take a break soon?"

"A break would be nice. I really wish I had thought to put feet insoles in my shoes… my feet are really killing me!" Sam'd muttered her feet comment. Aching feet was something she used to be used to, having worked at the hardware store doing freight for nearly two years. But with her new, cushy, sit-down job, it was surprising how quickly feet could deteriorate. Another reason Boruto was a genius for getting that sock drawer! There was bound to be slippers, right? Oh so soft, comfy slippers… Yeah, sitting down would be nice.

While Samantha daydreamed about her socks again, Victoria watched worriedly as the tiny boy ahead of them froze and seemed to internally debate something. He finally answered, his tone very deliberate as though each word had been quite carefully chosen. "We will take a break soon. Also. I don't know what they taught you in your.. _cult in the mountains_ , but the proper way for you to address me is Hatake-San. And I would appreciate knowing your surnames that I can address you correctly in return."

Victoria blanched. Obviously she had picked the wrong honorific! Too much time reading shojos apparently had given her warped ideas on what honorific meant what. "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Heh. My foot must have decided that being in my mouth was preferable to any more walking!"

Though highly amused by Tori's misstep, Samantha was, admittedly, impressed that Kakashi didn't go shouting his annoyance. Sam could give him his correction to them. "Sorry, sorry, Hatake-San. No harm was meant. Where we're from, calling us by our _last_ names is actually something we don't give to people we don't know. Crazies out there, ya know. You can call me Samantha-San." She bargained.

"Um, Victoria feels pretty formal for me," Tori admitted with a laugh, "Miss Lexington sounds like a name and a half. But I guess it's whatever you feel comfortable with, K..Hatake-San." The part of Tori's brain that was coping with all this weirdness by mentally imagining adult Kakashi instead of the bite-sized third-grader in front of her, felt her heart break a lil tiny bit at the forced formality. They had sort of become friends over the week that she and Sam spent in Konoha. To lose that implicit trust and friendship was awful.

Kakashi gave a nod and then pointed up ahead. "You two will take a break at those cliffs so I can scout the valley ahead. I would like to clear the other side of it before we stop for the night."

Samantha nodded stiffly, "Alright. Sounds good." She still felt irritated at the kid, but Sam could see that Kakashi was trying. She mentally sighed at herself for being so stubborn and judgey. As much as she hated knowing she had a stubborn streak, she couldn't deny she had one. Sometimes it was the principal of the matter, other times it was because she legit felt the way she did and needed to defend what she thought. In this case it was probably leaning towards the former - as far as where her anger with Little Kakashi went. Sam watched him go, her thoughts too internal to speak aloud.

As they settled down to rest at the cliff face, Victoria gave a gusty sigh and immediately sat down and pulled off her shoes to examine the injuries her feet had sustained over the day. "Sam..I'm sorry about earlier," she said as she avoided the confrontational nature of apologizing by keeping her gaze fixed on her bloodied feet. "I know you were just trying to stand up for me, but I was worried you were going to drive him away for real. And us on our own..well, it'd just be terrible. And short," she tried to add some millennial-esque lightheartedness to her voice to counteract the darkness of her concluding statement, "We'd probably die really, really fast."

"I was defending you," Sam pouted, "I kinda doubt Little Kakashi would actually leave us… At least… I hope not. I mean…" Samantha blew out a breath, swiping a hand through her slowly fading blue hair. "Gosh, I don't know if we'd actually die or not, because you forget that I'm a purple belt in Kenpo _and_ I've done some brief training with Hinata. So I know some stuff that would at least keep us alive." She stuck out her tongue at Tori, "Probably not from getting hurt, though…" Sam muttered. "But uh… yeah… I'm sorry too. I really didn't mean to make you feel like we were going to lose our only guide back to Konoha… I know that's what I had been implying but… yeah… he was being a jerk to you! Plus, he should know he shouldn't talk to clients that way. Kinda the whole 'the customers always right' dealio." Samantha, through her long, blown-out-of-proportion speech, kept her gaze on their surroundings, admiring the different types of plantlife nearby.

Victoria snorted. "I think ninjas probably have a slightly different customer service policy than Target, Sam…" She rolled her eyes, but smiled a little, glad that they were hearing each other out. She hated the feeling of having had a fight - even a tiny fringe fight like this one - with her best friend. "And..it's not like he wasn't right. And I wouldn't say he was being rude to me. He could have said something mean about me being too slow or too fat or something, but he only said that thing about it being a place that was hard to defend."

"Things may be different, but I do know that they still have to follow the client." Sam pointed out.

"Maybe. But if he's helping us, then I think that's kind of a legit complaint since he'd be the one who'd really have to do the fighting. You are good, but I don't think you are actually ready to fight to the death, Sam."

"Yeah, I know." Sam didn't try to argue that point. She probably, most definitely was not ready to fight to the death; but one never knew when faced with the actual prospect, right?

"I just..I wish there was a way you could have seen your face this morning Sam," Tori explained softly, "When Minato-Sensei had that knife to your throat. That's when it got real for me. Really real. And...I'm scared. This is scary. And..I would like to cling to as much safety and stability as we can get...even if it means taking a little condescension from someone young enough we could literally be his mother."

"I don't think that's right. To have to accept condescension. No way." Sam frowned, refusing to accept that portion of Tori's argument. "But you are right, for sure, that shinobi are _far_ faster than expected. Especially Minato… ho-boy… I would love to watch him fight. He's so flippin' hot…" The very idea of getting to see the soon-to-be Fourth Hokage was exhilarating to Samantha. "So yeah. Safety is important to me too, but being looked down upon is not something I think we need to sacrifice. I get where you're coming from, but that won't change my thoughts on this matter." Yeah, Sam knew she was being stubborn, but she truly couldn't help the outrageous deference Victoria was showing towards Kakashi. Sam couldn't help the frown on her face.

Tori shook her head a little. "Well. I guess we just wait til you get to see me almost die and then we can discuss it some more," she drawled with a nice dash of withering sarcasm. But also, in Victoria's mind, Sam was being naive and way too optimistic. That was more dangerous than anything else. She wrinkled her nose at Sam to soften her words a bit. "I think you are just a bit too twitterpated by Mr. Married Man to see straight right now."

Sam scoffed, "As if," She partially glowered, but sighed exasperatedly. She felt too anxious and irritated and overwhelmed and she could really just use a good nap. Actually, scratch that. She just wanted to take an amazing 'Monica'. The bath that Monica in _Friends_ sets for herself with candles, bubble bath, mood lighting, and amazing music to just bask in the feel of relaxing. Yeah, relaxing. That's what she needed to do. Sleeping on hard grounds with no pillows and no pillow top mattresses caused aches and pains in her neck and shoulders. Sam was ready to not feel so achy and tired and on edge and, well, everything she'd been feeling. Even with how attracted she was to Minato Namikaze, _because ho-boy he was_ _ **hot**_! Samantha wasn't a fool. She could tell that the man was suspicious of them (countless Naruto episodes and manga plus amazingly written fanfiction would make you aware that being a stranger was suspicious in and of itself).

"Anyway… How long do you think Tiny Kakashi is gonna take? Hopefully he didn't run into any ruffians," Sam worried because yes, despite their fight, being a new element in the ninja world could cause any sorts of damage. Hopefully none directed towards their guide.

Victoria looked down at her poor feet. "Honestly? I hope he takes hours."

* * *

By the morning of the third day of their traveling, the tension between Hatake-San and Samantha had gone from bad to worse. It didn't seem to matter how innocently the conversation would start, they would inevitably end up snarling and bickering over difference of philosophy. Victoria couldn't ever quite find the right words to calm them both down, either, and so she had mentally retreated, pouring all her focus into slumping up and down the hills as quickly as her injured and out-of-shape body could possibly allow. They were still too slow. Passages that Hatake-San declared would only take an hour, thanks to Tori's pace, inevitably ended up taking at least twice that, even with her trying her very best. And the later in the day it got, the slower and slower she would get as her endurance was picked away at by every sharp word and angry glare between her two companions. After one particularly bad argument over loyalty, Hatake-San - it was hard to even think of the angry chunin as Kakashi anymore - had furiously written on a message scroll that he tucked into the collar of a large black ninken he called Buru.

"Find Minato-Sensei," he commanded the huge dog that was nearly taller than him. "And wait for a reply."

Victoria, who was still trying to rest her feet rather than hurrying after the fuming Samantha, watched in concern as the dog sniffed an item in Kakashi's hand and then bounded away. "What did you write to your sensei, Hatake-San?" she asked carefully.

Hatake scowled as he re-rolled his summoning scroll. "Clarifications on this mission's assignment," he said sharply.

Tori tightened the elastic at the end of her messy braid, feeling anxious and worn thin by the constant battling. "What kind of clarifications did you need?"

"I need to know that if your friend somehow falls off the next cliff will I have to drag her body the rest of the way to Konoha." The darkness in his voice seemed to promise that he was actually considering pushing Sam over the next cliff himself. Tori could only hope he spoke with the sarcasm she had found endearing and hilarious in his older self. She tried laughing a tiny bit as though it had been a joke. Hatake simply shoved his summoning scroll back into his pocket and turned back to their path.

Feeling a little bit like an overworked rubberband, Tori finally shuffled off to find Samantha. After trying her best to assure Sam that she was right and trying to remind her that the little Kakashi they were around right now was way too young to really understand how important loyalty was, Victoria managed to get Sam walking with her again. "Man, you know what I miss?" she said, trying to lighten the mood even further, "I miss Cafe Rio. Those fake almost taco things that Boruto packed us made me miss real tortillas so much."

Samantha, doing her best not to pay attention to the ninja up ahead (he was super irritating her) felt her mouth water at just the remembrance of the Mexican restaurant. "You know what I miss? Subway. Oh man that place is good."

"Chik-fil-aaaaaa," Tori moaned dramatically, "With its always perfect Dr. Pepper!"

"Oh man… Dr. Pepper! Ooooooh now I reeeeally miss that stuff." Sam sighed at the sad thought that the ninja world did not have such a perfect drink, "if only, if only, the woodpecker sighed!" She smiled, a breathy giggle and tiny curvature finally showing on her lips, "You know what else I miss? Cereal! Fruit Loops, and Cap'n Crunch, and Cheerios, and Bran Flakes…. Oh! And one-percent milk! Ah, if only they had that here!" Apparently Samantha was super hungry.

Tori giggled at Sam's growing list. "I'm surprised you didn't say Fruit Gushers yet," she teased.

"Oh man! The _tang_! Why-oh-why did you have to bring up the yummy tanginess of those amazing snacks? I could eat one whole box in less than an hour! Maybe even a half-hour. Gosh darn rotten, I really wish we had some gushers. They're like… the perfect substitute for tricking your stomach into thinking you're not hungry. Okay, that's a lie. They make you feel sick if you eat too much, but man… they're so flippin' good." Sam's mouth continued to water.

Tori laughed harder. "Maybe we should try some more of the weird Boruto snacks," she teased Sam. "Want me to unseal some for you? You can be the guinea pig this time!"

"What'dya mean? Aren't I always the guinea pig?" Sam smirked, "I doubt they have anything as awesome as Gushers, but sure! Let's try some snacks!"

Rummaging in her skirt pocket, Tori pulled out the scroll of legend with a slightly dramatic flourish. "Here we go! Attempt two on the 'try new things' challenge," she quipped. The day before they had tentatively tried out some unidentifiable chip flavor - salty and greenish, Sam had concluded it was Nori flavored, and a strange biscuit thingy covered in cracks that Kakashi had identified as melon bread when they offered it to him. Unravelling as she walked, Tori soon found the section dedicated to snack food. "Here. I want one of these," she said, unsealing and then handing Sam a strawberry Ramune. "Did you want one?"

"Ooo, sure!" Sam had had a drink like this before (it was crazy how this world had some of the same drinks as their world) and then she stared at the package, reading the hiragana. "Strawberry, huh?" She said, "Well, it'll be worth the try, hopefully!" She opened the drink (with some difficulty. Trying to push the ball down was always the hardest but funnest part) and took a taste of the Ramune and was happily surprised.

The next Ramune bottle was green and Tori sighed. "Melon..dang, that's not as good. Wanna switch?"

"Sure! Strawberry isn't my favorite so that's fine." They "switched drinks" (which really meant Sam grabbed the melon while watching Tor unseal other snacks) and Sam took a swig of the melon. "Oooh, this one is even better!"

"I'm glad you think so! All the strawberries belong to me!" Tori sang brightly. She then handed over a brightly colorful bag of star-shaped candies and randomly chose one more seal to undo. She was rewarded by a light blue, tube-shaped package with a flying pig printed on it. The scroll was tucked back away and drinks shuffled around. Tori tucked her walking stick under her elbow as she tore open the blue tube. "Oo, interesting. She sniffed it, but it just smelled slightly sweet and kind of barbeque sauce-y. Carefully, she tried to pinch a bit off the top and it crushed under her fingers. "Dude, Sam, its like some kinda giant cheeto."

"Is it good?" Sam asked, waiting for Tori's response, while she opened the bag of star-shaped confetti. Konpeitō, the hiragana spelled out. She popped one in and blinked with surprise _It's like… flavored sugar!_

"Yeah..?" Tori said uncertainly. "Like, a bbq flavored cheeto, is the best way I can describe it." She offered the next bite to Sam and reached out to try what Sam had. "Awh! Sam! Those look like the little star things the soot balls eat in _Spirited Away_! That's so flipping cute!"

"Aw, they do! That's so fun! And they're quite yummy!" Sam took the tonkotsu flavored 'cheeto' Tori was holding out to her and tried it out, herself. "Hmmm, you're right. It's strange but also strangely good… Not bad, Boruto. Not bad at all."

"Much better than seaweed chips," Tori agreed emphatically and Samantha snorted at Tor's dissatisfaction of seaweed.

Sam licked her fingers, then stared at her fingers in thought, "You know what else I miss? Playing the guitar. And piano. Do you think this world has those instruments at all? Man.. that'd be a good way to relieve stress." At least, in Sam's case. It was what she would do back in their world. Play one of the instruments as fast and hard as she could. It made her feel better afterward.

"Oh, man, we should definitely get you a guitar," Victoria agreed. "I kinda can't believe we didn't think to ask Boruto for one. I blame Konohamaru for interrupting. It was totally his fault. Probably."

"Seriously! Man… what's up with us and meeting grumpy versions of awesome characters? Not cool, dude. Not cool." Sam tsked her agreement.

"It's true, they are particularly grumpy," Tori agreed, snatching another handful of the little stars.

"And a guitar would be so cool to have! It would certainly help out our chorus, ne?" She smirked at Victoria.

"People might actually believe that we are singing real songs on purpose," Tori quipped. "I think we really threw Obito the other day with 'Yeah Toast!'"

Sam laughed loudly, "Oh gosh, his look of confusion about why we'd be singing about toast was the best!" She wiped a stray tear.

Tori's smile grew wider and brilliant at Sam's bright laughter. It would seem that the silly conversation about food of all things was a great idea to help lighten her friend's mood. _Twenty points to Hufflepuff!_ She whimsically declared to herself. "And then when I sang the French part! I thought his eyes would pop out of his head."

"What do you think his thoughts were when he heard the French? Either they think we made up that language or they will truly believe us when we say it is a real language! Hah!"

Tori tilted her head to one side. "I think next time I see him, I'll break out in German. Just.. no warning. Just straight up say all the German words I remember and then sing that one Lady Gaga song. Just to mess with his head."

Samantha laughed heartily, "That would be amazing! Oh oh! What if you sang that one Britney song!"

"Which Britney song? I know so many.."

"The one that's basically for Minato. Well… there's _way_ too many of those to count on one hand, but this is the most recent one that we've listened to." Sam then cleared her throat, got herself into the best position, then belted out, "'Cause you're _beautiful!_ Drop dead _beautiful!_ Drop dead.. " She breathed in, then laughed sheepishly, "aaaand that's all I know of that song."

Victoria's laughter at Sam's cheekiness turned into a rough cough that made her stop for a few minutes before she could breathe normally again. Rubbing a hand against her throat, Tori frowned. "Dang it. I gotta take more time to breathe for a bit, Sam. You're gonna have to be in charge of talking for a bit."

Sam frowned in concern, but by this point she knew Tori would just need a distraction for awhile as they kept moving their slow way forward up the dusty deer path through the canyon. Given enough time, Victoria would be able to talk again. The gradient here was getting pretty steep after all. Sam almost wished she had a walking staff of her own! "That's fine, Tor. You know I'm definitely good at talking, after all." She winked because she wasn't _actually_ good at coming up with things to talk about. But… there was plenty of stories Samantha knew about that Tori did not so... "Did you want a story again?"

Still panting a little, Victoria jerked her head in a grateful nod. "More Haikyuu," she suggested. "Yesterday you were telling me about the match with the crows. Or no, they're the crows, it was the match with the cat school. Tell me about the rest of that."

"It was a _practice_ match, by the way." Samantha smirked, but continued on with the story anyways. She didn't notice that Tiny Kakashi had his ears perked to tune in to the story as well; especially with how irritated they'd both been at each other. Samantha would have been surprised that he was giving them any sort of attention at all had she realized his super awesome ninja skills were in effect right that moment. As it was, Sam was doing her best to not notice his presence and reminisce in a good story that she missed watching and wished she could continue to read. After all, the crows were headed to nationals! Sam couldn't _wait_ for Hinata Shōyō to meet his hero, 'The Little Giant'.

"Okay! So! The Crows had been absolutely _sucking it up_ against every other team…"

* * *

They had nearly made it out of the winding canyons by the time the sun was setting, but Hatake seemed much more concerned that Buru still hadn't returned than by how little progress they had made that day. "We're stopping here," Hatake declared, while Sam and Tori were still carefully negotiating their way down a section of loose rock.

Victoria looked around. "Are you sure?" she said, feeling a little doubtful. They were right in the center of one of the narrow slot canyons they had been winding through all canyons themselves were beautiful, a lot like Zions National Park: even down to the red rock and the hardy scrub trees. But visibility was horribly limited. Once they passed one twist of the canyon, there was no way to see behind or in front of the section they were in. Victoria had loved the fact the high cliffs and narrow openings meant they'd been in the shade all day long, but it didn't take a shinobi to notice how anxious it made Hatake-San. The particular bend they had stopped in was especially boring - not much seemed to make it stand out beyond a crack in the wall. All in all, it just didn't seem like a particularly great place to camp. There wasn't even water nearby.

The small silver-haired ninja pointed at a dark crevice to the left. "In there," he explained. They got closer and Sam finally realized it was actually the entrance to a cave.

Victoria frowned at the skinny cave entrance, but when she and Sam actually got to it, it didn't seem to be any worse than when she had to wiggle up into her truck after someone else parked too close. She poked her head in and then pulled it back out. Samantha took the opportunity to wiggle all the way in and explore. Tori watched as Hatake checked his weaponry and pulled out several scrolls - exactly _not_ like someone preparing to pitch camp for the night. "Where are you going?" she asked.

He spared her a glance. "We should have seen Buru by now," he said shortly. "I'm going to see if I can catch either his or Minato-Sensei's trail. I need you both to stay here. I'll place an illusion over the cave mouth in case anyone comes by." His flippiancy towards the idea was reassuring. Adult Kakashi had been kind of paranoid about leaving them alone on the hill that one time. Clearly, he wasn't expecting any trouble for tonight.

"Okay," Victoria said with a big smile. An extra couple of hours to rest her feet? Heck yeah! And with Kakashi gone, she and Sam could finally talk plans and fake back stories so they'd be prepared for actually reaching Konoha. Victoria quickly pulled out their scroll to summon forth sleeping bags and dinner. Behind her Sam re-emerged from the cave and then watched with curiosity the different seals Kakashi was carefully affixing to the canyon wall around their cave. "Did you want something to eat before you go?" Tori asked.

The boy ignored her offer for a moment as he finished preparing the illusion but then he softly muttered, "I guess I'll take a hamburger."

"Wait, what?" Sam blinked, watching as Victoria gave Kakashi a hamburger, "You're seriously leaving us? After all that crap you gave earlier? You said it yourself, we're in the middle of a war!"

Kakashi gave her the slowest and drollest eyebrow raise even Fitzwilliam Darcy would have felt condescended to. "I'm sealing you safely behind an illusion, I'll be leaving Uhei and Guruko with you. I doubt anyone would have managed to track us this far without being spotted and it's so close to nightfall only the most reckless would brave the canyons in the dark. Finally, if the remainder of the squad have been compromised I'm taking that as a sign the last few days have been the worst case of misdirection ever attempted as we are still barely three hours from them as a shinobi travels."

"So… You're leaving our safety in the paws of dogs…" Sam deadpanned.

He gave her a bland smile. "You placed your own in the hands of a nine year old. I at least know the strength and battle history of my choice."

Samantha stared the tiny shinobi down, glaring. He certainly wasn't wrong but also not quite right. "Technically, we didn't choose you. You were assigned, but fair enough. You know your dogs abilities better than we do, I'll give you that." Sam looked away, holding her arms tightly against herself. "Just don't die," she muttered grudgingly. Not loudly, but loud enough. She might be pissed at the kid, but she had no ill will against his safety.

Kakashi Hatake tugged down his mask just far enough to hide his smirk behind taking a bite of his hamburger. "Hmm. I'll think about it. There's a certain satisfaction in frus,trating you, Samantha-San."

He disappeared to the top of the canyon wall above them before she could react.

"Um. Didn't he say his dogs were staying with us?" Tori asked.

Sam, however, was still slightly in shock, "What! Did he just say he _likes_ frustrating me? What a friggin' punk!" Though she griped as she glowered, her mind was racing. Perhaps she'd judged the last few days of fighting completely wrong. "And yes, he did say that." Sam finally responded to Victoria's question.

"Maybe your cheekiness changed his mind, Sam." Victoria tipped her head slightly as a thought occurred to her. "Uh, Sam.. we just saw Kakashi's face. Like, what's under his mask." Granted, he just looked like a handsome little kid, but it still seemed especially monumentous. Kakashi didn't let anyone see his face. "Didn't we?"

"Barely! Like… The tip of his nose. I wouldn't consider that seeing his face…" Samantha pondered that thought for a second "Good grief. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke had an impossible feat… makes sense they never accomplished that goal."

"I guess I had a better view!" Tori said with a grin. (She has seen a teeny, tiny bit of his profile - mouth included! Alas, the chin and jaw was still unknown.) "His secret's out now. If we ever run into grownup Hotness again I'll make him let me see the whole thing!"

After a moment of two waiting to see if he would reappear or dogs would suddenly show up, the two women shimmied into the cave and glanced around their surroundings with greater curiosity than before. As they began to settle themselves, from above came sounds of rocks shifting loosely. Both Samantha and Victoria snapped their heads towards the sound near the front of the cave. Samantha shifted nervously, meeting Tori's eyes briefly. Sam walked towards the entrance, not daring to speak just yet.

"Is it the doggies?" Tori asked in an overly loud whisper.

"Tori! Shh!" Samantha quieted her friend, waving haphazardly behind her.

"I'm sorry!" Came Tori's loud whisper, "I'll be quiet! Oh, crunch! I'm talking right now!" she realized. She clapped a hand theatrically over her mouth at Sam's exasperated glare. Tori's eyes twinkled a little. "See, I can tease too," she whispered in an actual whisper. Around the corner of the cave entrance came a large black nose at the end of a white snout. The nose gave a deep sniff and then in popped the head of a handsome brown and white dog that looked sorta like a greyhound: all long legs and narrow shoulders. It, weirdly enough, was wearing bandages and a small blue vest. Tori blinked. "Ninja dogs wear clothes?" she asked aloud.

Remembering the dogs from the anime, Samantha nodded. "Yup. These ones do! They're ninja dogs, after all." Another snout popped in the cave entrance, next to the first, before its whole body shuffled in. its own snout white, though the rest of its body was a beautiful sandy brown. This ninken had its own konoha headband, oddly enough. _For some reason, I figured that having a contract to a nin-animal didn't make it loyal to that one village._ Either way, it trotted in farther and plopped its hiney on the ground, next to a spot that looked like someone else from however long ago had used for a fire. _So… this place isn't unknown. I guess I shouldn't be surprised…_ Soon after this pup waltzed in (for these dogs didn't seem to be very old. They also seemed… smaller, in real life,) a slightly larger, pale brown dog with "Men In Black" glasses came trudging in, looking for all the world like he was ready to wipe the memories of all civilians present. Supremely Agent K-esque. Samantha blinked, looking at the entrance. "Is that… all of you?" She asked.

Tori crouched slightly and let the first dog sniff the back of her hand, she grinned a little at Sam's silly question. It's not like the dogs were going to answer her. "Awh, they are so cute," she cooed. "With their little vests. Just like service dogs back home."

The MIB looking dog snorted, sounding like a sneeze coming from the animal, "We're nothing close to service dogs, miss. The name's Akino." Akino, sitting on his haunches, held out a paw towards Tori.

"Oh. Oh my." Tori stared in bewilderment but obediently shook the proffered paw. "I'm - I'm sorry. I've never..met a ninja dog before.." The wonder and confusion was unavoidably obvious in her voice. "My name's Victoria."

Akino simply allowed Victoria to shake his paw, before giving a small nod of acknowledgement and acceptance. Samantha, for all her knowledge of the talking animals, still felt weirded out by a living creature speaking human speak. It was far different when a parrot spoke. Though they could learn human language, it's not like they truly understood everything a human spoke about. "My name's Samantha," she volunteered next, looking at Akino's face. He gave her a small nod of acknowledgement as well, before heading to an edge of the cave and promptly lay down as if to sleep. Who knew with the glasses?

"I'm Guruko," spoke the second dog with the Konoha headband on his brow and who sported a very fluffy, almost fox-like tail. He was the one who had claimed the firepit.

"Uhei," offered the greyhound that had sniffed Tori's hand to begin. He then trotted over and lightly sniffed Sam's hand as well. Uhei kind of bobbed his head at both of them and then trotted back outside, presumably to serve as point. That just left Guruko who watched Sam and Tori through narrowed eyes from his place in the abandoned firepit.

Victoria was still slightly in shock, but after a moment she abruptly sat down on her half-unrolled sleeping bag. "You. Um. Hatake-San sent you, right?" she asked the staring dog. He gave a slow nod as though that should have been obvious. "Heh. Of course. Of course. Right. Um. So! Sam and I - we were just about to have dinner. Did your..squad want anything? We've got hamburgers?" She felt kind of dumb making almost every word sound like a question but even her worst social anxiety panics hadn't left her reeling and desperately planning what would be the proper way to strike up a conversation with a shinobi guard dog.

When he didn't deny the offer, Tori summoned a hamburger from the scroll and unwrapped it to show him. "Bread, beef, and some lettuce. Tomato too, but I can take that off for you. Might not agree with your stomach.."

Guruko stared at Victoria for a minute, eyeing the cooked hamburger curiously. The pup sniffed the air, before, with a small groan (as if he were an old man - Samantha sniggered silently at the thought) slowly standing on all four haunches and walked over to take the burger into his mouth.

Tori solemnly held it out as respectfully as she could while Sam curiously watched, "So…" Sam asked, "Do you eat steak, too?" She waited with almost baited breath. The question came from a fanfiction she'd read once that stated Kakashi's dogs ate high quality steak. So, needless to say, Sam was curious.

Guruko who had set down his burger after a bite gave the blue-haired woman a doggy shrug. "On special occasions," he agreed. Victoria unsealed and de-tomatoed a second hamburger. "Sam would you like to take this to A..Akino?" She said very hesitantly. She had messed up too many names at this point to trust even her two-minute memory.

Samantha shrugged, "Sure," she grabbed the hamburger, then shuffled over to Akino whom she couldn't tell whether he was watching her or not, as the dog had his head resting in his paws. But once Sam was close enough, Akino sniffed the burger, nibbled a piece, then - apparently liking the taste - grabbed the burger and placed it between his paws and began to eat. Samantha smiled happily, before sitting at her previous seat next to Tori. "I'm glad you two like the burgers." Sam commented casually.

"And we can definitely save one for your other friend," Tori offered helpfully even as she got Sam a bowl of ramen. "We have plenty."

"Uhei's on point," Guruko said after snarfing down another big bite. "Best to wait 'til we rotate shifts."

Tori sipped slowly from her own ramen bowl. "Do you think we are in any actual danger?" She asked, feeling slightly light-headed by how easy it was to talk to a talking dog.

"Never hurts to be careful," was Guruko's gruff observation after another doggy-sized bite out of his hamburger. With that slightly ominous prediction, they all focused on eating dinner and then settling in. The cave, dim in the late afternoon light, was pitch dark only minutes after sunset. With secrecy being the order, a fire or even a lantern was out of the question. Quiet talking was even frowned on by their watch-dogs since noise could carry in funny ways in the canyons.

So...there was no point in anything other than trying to get extra sleep.

….Trying being the key word in that sentence….

Tori sighed and wished for the seventy-six thousandth time in the last two hours that her ribs would let her roll onto her side at least, or better yet her stomach. Sleeping flat on her back was the worst. Sleeping flat on her back with just a sleeping bag and a cold stone floor beneath was beyond the worst. At least she could elevate her aching legs on the backpack, but heavens above did she miss her pillow army.

Victoria stared sightlessly at the black ceiling, aware that her brain was still way too awake for sleep, but all her normal falling-asleep tricks were failing her. Usually when she was this insomniac, it was because her anxiety needed to chew over something from the day, but the very last thing she wanted to do was relive any part of the last three days. Of course as soon as the thought touched her brain, she was drowning in the immediate memories of every exasperated sigh and half-heard muttered complaint from Sam and Hatake-San. And of course all the shouting and snarling from their fights all battered in on her at once.

 _You know that your stupid feet and lame excuses to avoid doing anything useful to improve your health are literally the only reason that Sam and Hatake-San are fighting, right?_ Tori grimaced, but couldn't argue very strongly. _Remember how good Samantha and Future Kakashi got along? Like that karaoke battle they had on the top of Hokage Mountain?_

Seeing an escape from the needling of her own brain, Victoria gladly fell into the memory, crowding out her internal monologue with as many details and textures from that day as she could remember. It had only been their fourth or fifth day in Konoha: a bright morning with a sky spotted by fluffy white clouds. They had set out at mid morning with the intentions of picnicking, but Victoria had barely managed to keep up with Kakashi and the always quick-paced Samantha as they ambled back up the hilly cliffs above the carved peaks.

" _Can't you guys slow down a little?" Past Victoria had said breathlessly, grabbing the helpful limb of an aspen tree just to the side of their path and using it to pull herself up the steep part of their switchback. "It's not like we're racing Might Guy."_

 _Sam giggled at Victoria - both for her words and the dramatic use of the vegetation. "Good thing, too! I saw him and Rock Lee this morning. They were racing again, but this time by jumping across the light poles."_

 _Kakashi paused at the top of the switchback, turning back and seemingly content to wait for a moment for Tori to catch up. He had looked gorgeous, of course: silver hair shining in the morning sunlight. His lean form personifying easy grace and athleticism as he carried their ridiculously heavy picnic basket slung over one shoulder like it weighed nothing more than an extra jacket. "They do that every few weeks," he confided to Sam, "Generally after the citizens complain that they are blocking traffic with their challenges."_

" _I guess there's not a lot of traffic on the rooftops!" Sam said with a grin, tucking her thumbs into the tops of her pockets like she always did. "Do you ever race with them, Kakashi?"_

" _Oh yes," he agreed._

" _Do you ever win?" Sam shot back with a laugh hiding in the challenge in her voice._

 _Even through the dark cloth of his mask, the two women could tell he was smirking - it was something in the way the skin about his eyes crinkled and the overt confidence in his voice. "If I feel like it." Sam laughed out loud and Kakashi held out his hand in a give-it-to-me gesture. "Go ahead, Samantha-Chan," he said, "I know you want to call me a cheeky something."_

 _Victoria snorted. "A cheeky monkey," she offered before Sam could stop laughing. "That's totally what she was going to call you."_

" _Hey!" Sam protested. She straightened the brim of her hat with a little huff. "Well, maybe I was." The three of them had teased each other the rest of the way up the mountain. Poor Sam was by far the most fun to tease so after a moment, both Kakashi and Tori ganged up against her, countering her every comment with responses increasingly ridiculous._

" _Gah! You know what I mean," Sam protested when the only-too-cheeky Kakashi willfully misinterpreted her words yet again._

" _Oh my," Kakashi said, covering the front of his masked mouth in feigned surprise at her response._

" _Oh myyyyy," Tori repeated in her rather good George Takai impersonation._

" _Oh myyyyyyyyyyyy," Kakashi countered, stretching the word even further. Of course, Tori couldn't be shown up by that and so tried for an even longer "Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.."_

" _My-a-hee!" Sam shouted over them both. "My-a-whoooo! My-a-ha!"_

 _Her evil plan worked; Tori never could resist a spontaneous sing-a-long: "My-a-ha-ha!" the redhead sang with her. "My-a-hee! My-a-whooo! My-a-ha! My-a-ha-ha!"_

 _While the two Earth women sang at each other the weird nonsense song, Kakashi Hatake serenely unpacked their picnic hamper: setting out soda cans and chips and hamburgers. By the time Sam and Tori struck a dramatic pose on the final "They o-kay-day-ayyy!", he was reclining easily, watching messenger birds swoop over the cliff and down towards the village below. Somehow he had managed to already eat half his lunch without them watching. "You two always sing the weirdest songs," he observed._

 _Sam plopped down onto the edge of the blanket, sticking her tongue out at the accusation. "Our songs are fun," she protested. "Besides, I don't see you singing us any songs. Maybe it's your songs that are weird."_

 _Tori leaned forward, eyes widening with curiosity even as she popped the lid on her melon-soda. "Ooo, would you sing for us?" she asked hopefully. "Please, Kakashi-San?"_

 _He thought about that for a second. "There was a song I used to like that was..well, the song wasn't in itself weird, but the civilians that taught it to me probably qualified as weird. Does that count?"_

 _Tori's heart pounded loudly and she hardly listened to what he had actually said, caught instead on the promised possibility of having the sexiest man she had ever seen in her entire life compound his attractiveness with singing. "Sure. Totally counts," she mumbled. "What's the song?"_

 _He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "It was a beautiful ballad," he mused, "About a strong-hearted lady who was searching for a heroic warrior to be her love. She sings about how she must resist the love of lesser men because she knows her best hope is to wait for the warrior that will love her most truly. It's quite beautiful, really."_

 _Sam just held back a laugh at how earnestly Victoria was gazing at Kakashi. Her poor friend was so not getting over her crush, no matter what she claimed! "You should sing it for us," she prompted with a smirk._

 _Closing his eyes, Kakashi started to hum and then stopped suddenly. He started again and then stopped. When he opened his eyes - well, the one they could see - surprise and confusion was in it. "I..don't remember it," he said with a frown. "I heard it sung it so many times, I never thought I'd forget it."_

 _Victoria's fallen expression could have made even the person who edits the Sarah McLachlan shelter-animal ads tear up. "Oh."_

 _Kakashi looked slightly panicked at Victoria's almost-teary expression. "I-I can sing something else," he said hastily, scrambling backwards at little. It was almost like the big, tough shinobi was more afraid of a few female tears than facing down the entire Akatsuki at once. "The twilight," he began to sing, hastily, "Did not make any sound..as it came to stain your back."_

 _Samantha's eyebrows rose high, surprise and delight on her face._ Dang, Kakashi can sing! _It was very much like going to a Josh Groban concert. Never in all her anime-nostalgic mind did Sam think that the copy-cat nin could sing so beautifully._

 _Victoria was practically melted, only her grip on her cool can of melon soda helped her stay grounded in that moment as Kakashi's pleasant voice gently sang on. "...Even if you are far away, as this cool breeze blows...for now..I just want to keep looking at you."_

 _Except this is how he looks at you now..._ The frustrated glare of little Hatake-San sighing in disgust at Tori's pathetic efforts banged into her mind's eye and swept away the warmth of the remembered afternoon.

Feeling tears burn at the corners of her eyes - Victoria was so sick of being such a cry baby! Freaking Konoha! - she fumbled in the dark for her glasses and shoes. Akino's quietly growled question was answered with an abrupt, "I need to use the bathroom." Stumbling, she barely made it out of the narrow cave before her breath caught painfully in a withheld sob. Why was everything so flipping hard right now? Why was it all so confusing and painful and why did she feel so horribly, horribly unfit for everything? And why, in the midst of everything else, did she have to have all these big, stupid, crush feelings? For a guy that was so never going to return them? Biting down on her lip, Tori hurried away from the entrance of their cave and back around several curves of the canyon they had trekked down that morning. She didn't really need to pee, but she definitely wanted a little bit of privacy until her dumb head calmed down. _And that's part of it!_ Her brain said in exasperation, _You haven't had a single moment to be alone in a week and a half! Even living home with all your siblings had more privacy than this misadventure. No wonder you're going out of your little mind, Tori, dear. Pretty soon they'll need to lock you up again, but this time in a mental hospital._ "Oh, shut up," she muttered.

The wind howled eerily in response, a gust blowing down from the top of the narrow canyon to tug at Tori's hair and tunic. She shivered fiercely, and then she froze, because with the wind came a gruff voice that didn't sound at all like any of the dogs. She couldn't quite make out whatever the gruff voice was saying, but she knew by the way her stomach dropped that it probably wasn't a good thing.

"We need to get out of sight," the voice said, and Tori slowly looked up. Thirty feet above her she could see figures moving against the slice of star-studded sky that outlined the tops of the canyon. "How close are we to that cave of yours, Tsuneo?"  
"It's down one of these," the second voice - Tsuneo? - grumbled, "If we hadn't had to stop for your stomach, Goro, we would have made it here before dark and I would know where I was going."

"Find it quicker," came a third voice, a female but with the confident authority that made Tori instantly assign it as the group's leader. "Goro. You carry her now. Yuta needs a break."

Tori nearly jumped out of her own skin when a soft doggy head gently worked its way under her hand. Under the bright starlight, she could make out that it was the third dog: the greyhound Uhei who had been on point. He gave her a slow look and then nodded up at the shadowy figures. Uhei lifted his paw and held it before his mouth as though to signify that they should both remain silent. Tori jerked her head in a nod and then looked up to continue watching the group.

They had paused at the top just to her right and she could see a short thin man - Tsuneo based on their conversation - grumpily consulting a compass by the faint glow of a lighter. A massive line-man like shinobi was lifting a small human-shaped object off his back and handing it over to the third man. Goro grumbled, "It'd be easier if she could hold on herself."

"Yeah, until the little brat smothered you or tried to gouge your eyes out," Tsuneo bit back.

"You're just mad still that she got you a black eye," Goro taunted right back. He turned with his load and the moon shone brightly down on the unconscious hostage's face: soft features surrounded by a bob of dark hair. Even in the darkness, it was impossible to miss the large streaks of purple makeup cutting down each cheek.

Tori's gasp of recognition luckily went unheard thanks to the clifftop squad-leader's command of "Quiet both of you."

Victoria's mind raced and panicked, but one clear thought surfaced: Rin needed to be saved. And there was no one around but them to do it. She clenched both of her fists tightly and waited with bated breath to see what the clifftop squad did next.

"Ten meters ahead," Tsuneo finally declared sullenly. "Then there's the best place to climb down."

"You mean I have to be the one to climb down with the chit?" Goro complained. They moved out of sight. Uhei grabbed the tail of Tori's long tunic with his teeth and began to silently lead her back towards the cave. Tori resisted, instead pulling out her scroll and unraveling it frantically for something - some weapon! - that could be used to defend Rin. Uhei tugged harder, his cheeks curling back to show his teeth in a silent growl of command. Tori pulled back, shaking her head fiercely. She pointed after them but could think of now way to express with her hands who it was they had carried. "That's Rin," she finally hissed, the words barely a sound at all. "Hatake's squad mate. She's in trouble!"

The wind howled down the canyon again, rattling the skimpy bushes and tossing sand into Tori's eyes. "We are to watch. Not engage," Uhei whispered gruffly under the cover of the wind.

Tori hesitated a second, then made a decision. "Evacuate," she whispered, crouching down so that the words would stay just between the two of them. "You heard what they said, they are looking for the cave. We need to abandon it and get out of sight before they break the illusion." Uhei gave her a slightly suspicious look, but then glanced worriedly up at the now empty clifftop. "I'll stay here so I don't make noise. You go get the others."

Uhei nodded and hurried away back to the cave. A determined light entered Victoria's eyes as she began to release seal after seal. She was not going to wait around to see if someone might just show up. She didn't care if Sam did say that Rin was supposed to die. She wasn't going to let that happen if there was absolutely anything she could do about it!

* * *

As for Sam, she'd been trying to sleep on the rocky ground for who knew how long. She'd briefly noticed that Victoria had left the cave, but was too asleep to actually speak up or do anything about her long absence. (Was it long? The passage of time when trying to sleep was sorely distorted.) Sam groaned a bit, tossing over once again, trying get a comfortable position. Dimly, she heard Guruko growl a minute, shifting in his spot. _Perhaps he heard a bear?_ Sam's muggy brain thought. Then, with another sound of shuffling from a different direction, the deep voice of another of Kakashi's dogs quietly spoke up. "We need to leave. Now."

"What is it, Uhei?" Guruko's gruff voice copied the volume of his fellow mates, and Sam groggily opened her eyes. She shifted with a groan to look at the two dogs. Uhei, the one that had entered the cave, came quickly to Sam's side as he spoke.

"Enemy nin close by. They're looking for the cave. We need to leave. Now." The dog was prodding Samantha's legs briefly before walking over to their supplies. Sam looked around, allowing the murky depths of lingering naps leave her brain. "Where's Victoria?" She asked sleepily, when she remembered hearing her friend leave the cave.

Uhei was silent for a short stretch. "Your friend is safe for now. I'll lead her to you and the others once the enemy are past. There… is a complication."

"For now? ...A complication?" Sam repeated, unsure what that was supposed to mean; however, with Uhei's tone of voice, Sam felt more of a need to move quicker, "What kind of complication? Is Victoria okay?"

"She's fine for now but… one of Kakashi's teammates has been taken by the enemy nin." The grey watch-nindog finally replied. He looked over at Guruko who was waiting for Samantha to get her shoes on, "We need to hurry."

"Right!" Samantha, feeling mch more awake, tugged on her last shoe, quickly standing up and heading out the cave entrance with Akino in front of her and Guruko behind her. Uhei split off to hurry back the other way - presumably to find Tori. Sam and the other two dogs started off to the north, following the last few curves of the canyon and hurrying out to the open forest beyond. Sam's heart pounded with thoughts of either Obito or Rin kidnapped, and hoped with all measure that Victoria stayed safe. It'd be much harder to trek through this wild ride of an adventure in the Naruto-verse if she had to make it home alone.

* * *

Several meters away in the other direction of the cave, around the many curves of the canyon, and hidden from sight behind a prickly bush, Victoria could barely breathe from the anxious pounding of the blood in her head. It was like her veins were full of pure adrenaline as she watched the gradual descent of Goro and Rin. The enemy squad had chosen to let each other down on ropes considering the narrow, steep shape of the cliffs. While Tori had prepared her weapons, she had watched with half an eye as Yuta and the Leader had tied Rin to Goro's back. Tsuneo had descended first and was poking around the base of the cliff, muttering about his map not being right. Tori wasn't sure what exactly she was going to do about him, but the first and most important thing would be to bring down Goro, right? Just as soon as he got near enough to the ground that Rin wouldn't get hurt by the fall. The wooden handle of the crossbow she had unsealed threatened to slip right out of her sweating palms, but Tori griped it tighter til the wires wrapped around it started to cut into her skin. _Dear Lord in Heaven, please help me,_ she prayed fervently. _Oh, please, oh please, oh please._ Taking a half step forward, she carefully aimed as best she could for Goro's chest, her fingers trembled around the safety. The clack of it releasing sounded like thunder in the quiet canyon.

"Who's there?" Tsuneo demanded, spinning about. In a panic, Tori squeezed the trigger, gasping as the steel bolt flew high. A sharp snapping sound was all the warning Goro had before he and his burden plummeted toward the hard ground. Somehow - heaven's intervention at hand, surely - the bolt had struck straight through the rope, cutting off the rest of the squad.

Tori, having at least acknowledged to herself before hand that she had no idea how to reload the crossbow, easily threw it aside and started hurling kunais at Tsuneo as fast as she could from the tiny mountain of blades Boruto had packed them. Most of the them flew in crazy directions, but she shrieked in horrified victory when one lodged into the enemy shinobi's shoulder. He darted to the side but then suddenly was close - way too close for a thrown kunai, but Tori had already grabbed her trusty walking stick and was swinging it about like a squirrel on Ritalin going after a pinata. Now that any element of surprise was long since gone, she was also screaming utter panic-y nonsense in a desperate attempt to summon Sam and the dogs to help, but also to wake up Rin. "Rin! Rin! Wake up!" she screamed, "No! You! Stay back! Stay back! I will hit you!"

Suddenly her walking stick was flying from her hands and the crooked snarling face of Tsueno was right there in front of Tori, a kunai as cold and sharp as the stars coming right at her face.

* * *

Sam was running, following behind Akino as best she could. In the dark, she nearly tumbled over the dog as he came to an abrupt stop.

"What's happened?" Samantha huffed, placing a hand on her side. The dang stitch in her side made it super hard to move. In any normal circumstance, Sam would call it quits, go home, lay on her bed and play some Zelda, or watch some anime. This was not an option anymore.

It was weird to say, but looking at Akino, you could _see_ the frown deepen on his face. "Your friend has engaged the enemy. We need to go back!"

"What!" Sam cried out, incredulous. _Oh good grief, that Tori!_ "We need to go!" After all, Victoria was still hurt. _She shouldn't be fighting right now!_ Heart pounding even more, Sam urged the dogs back towards the canyon where Tori and Uhei were. Akino snorted in what sounded like irritation at Sam's desire to be ahead, while Guruko gave what seemed like a growled huff. They had only begun the trek for a few minutes before a loud shriek could be heard in the distance. _Tori!_ Sam mentally shouted. That was not a happy shout, and with it, Sam's insistence to go quicker was then reciprocated by the dogs sudden spurt in their own pace. Sam nearly wanted to shout "wait!" as even Guruko began to move ahead of her. Luckily, though Akino had gone on ahead faster than Guruko, who had kept their second charge (because, really, that's what Sam and Tori were. The dog's charges) in mind, made sure to look back to see if Sam was following. Sadly, she was still moving too slow (Samantha was no ninja. Using chakra to move faster was no fair!) and eventually Guruko stopped, looked behind, and gestured for her to take hold of his fur.

"Um… are you sure? I mean… I can't run very fast."

"Don't worry. You'll not notice."

"What? How can-" Samantha's reply was abruptly cut short as suddenly Guruko started moving, pulling Samantha along at a pace that seemed so far-fetched she would have laughed if she wasn't terrified for her life. Let it be known that anime characters being dragged through the air by someone else was _not_ an exaggeration. And Guruko was wrong. Sam definitely noticed.

Then, they were there, and the scene that befell Samantha's eyes was horrible. A skinny ninja was battling Uhei on one side of the wide bend. The skinny ninja had a kunai and he kept swiping it at Uhei, almost taunting the poor dog as he growled and snarled. As Sam watched, Uhei feinted and then managed to momentarily get his teeth around the shinobi's arm. Blood and torn fabric proved that Uhei had at least momentarily got his mark, but he was forced to let go. Sam felt weirdly frozen, hardly blinking as she watched Guruko and Akino rush past her to go help Uhei. Her gaze instead finally moved across the canyon to Victoria.

Tori was crouched on the sand, frantically sawing her kunai through the ropes that tied up Rin...tied her up to the body of another ninja who inexplicably was unconscious face down on the ground. Victoria's rope cutting wasn't going quickly because she had her left hand clamped against her own neck while a dark liquid poured down over her fingers. Finally she shouted in triumph as the last rope cut. Across the narrow clearing, Tori saw Sam. "Sam! Help me with Rin!" she shouted.

Still in shock, Sam _still_ didn't move, stunned by the sight of seeing Victoria across the way with blood oozing around her fingers, all the while trying to help Rin out. When Tori called out to her, Samantha shook off her reverie, taking off at a quick run. At one point, Sam nearly tripped, her arms flailing wildly, before quickly righting herself and continued her trek, jumping over dips in the ground.

The skinny shinobi that Uhei had bit was spinning about, cursing wildly, trying to knock Guruko away: the dog had lept up and clamped onto his bloodied shoulder. Because of the way the shinobi turned, he almost hit Samantha, but she quickly side-stepped his near fall and finally reached Victoria. She helped her friend free Rin of the ropes even as the man that she had been tied to was coming back awake.

"Come on Sam, we gotta move now!" Tori panted. Reaching over, she pressed the kunai into Sam's hand, nearly dropping it as it slipped from her shaking fingers. Victoria's other hand finally let go of the side of her neck and Sam could see the savage cut from Tsuneo's kunai. The amount of blood staining Tori's shirt was horrifying, but the fact she was even still alive meant whoever hit her must have at least missed the vital arteries. Tori didn't even pause as she swung back around and reached down to yank the limp Rin up out of the tangled ropes and drag her away towards the wall of the canyon - away from what was quickly becoming a battleground.

Samantha grasped the kunai in her hand, unable to stop the trembling. She held the weapon like she would a sword, and upon realizing her mistake, switched it to how she had seen Adult Kakashi and others in the anime hold it. Sam eyed the fallen enemy warily, unsure of what she should be doing. Sure, she'd done some self-defense in her dimension, and had done a couple hours of training with Hinata… but again, that was self defense. The enemy groaned and Samantha stiffened, her arm held in front of her, wondering if it was terrible to hope that the jonin ( _he was probably a jonin, right? Yeah, most likely, considering how strong he was_ ) wouldn't wake up. It was just her luck that he began to stir even more. Biting her lip, Samantha glanced around her, terrified out of her mind; but angry. Definitely angry. Especially seeing Rin unconscious in the sand and the large gash on Tori's neck. _What'll I do? What'll I do?_ A part of her scoffed at the weak response and came up with another solution. _Fight! That's what you'll do!_ She could even imagine Naruto saying his famous chunin exams quote: 'Don't underestimate me! I don't quit, and I don't run!' and what he continually said throughout the anime as a whole: 'I never go back on my word!'

 _That's right. And I promised Tor I would protect her!_ Sam's eyes lit up and determination settled in her posture, despite her trembling. She imagined a lightning glint sparking from her left eye because of it (anime trope, hands down), and the thought would've made her giggle had the situation not been so dire. So, Sam rushed forward, "Aaah!' came her battle cry. The fallen shinobi had begun to stand up, a palm resting against his forehead, but Sam didn't even think. She jumped forward, and slammed her foot right where it would hurt a man the most.

The shinobi howled, falling once more on the ground and curling into a ball around his injured manhood. Samantha, with her heart beating far too quickly, did her best to take stock of their surroundings in the dark, and saw the rope nearby which the shinobi had used to hold Rin. _Do I risk it?_ Sam wondered. Tying the man up seemed like a good idea, but he could totally gouge her eyes out or get the better of her and she'd be gone in a jiffy. Not to mention the ropes were in pieces...

 _Yeah… let's not_.

Sam stepped back once, when the man gasped, and stumbled onto his feet.

"You wench!" Goro snarled, pain lacing his voice. Samantha's eyes widened, and she held her shaky arms forward, knuckles fiercely white from gripping the kunai with her sweaty fingers. Goro's large hands balled up into menacing fists, the metal spikes and plates embedded in his gloves gleamed dully in the moonlight. Blood dripped down the right side of his face - a souvenir from Tori unintentionally dropping him twelve feet. Slowly, the shinobi got back to his feet, not turning his gaze away from Sam. He moved heavily and Sam wondered if he might have a concussion, but she was so not letting her guard down! He frowned fiercely at her, shaking his head as though to drive away the ringing in his ears.

"Earth Release: Stone Bullet!" the skinny ninja, Tsuneo shouted from across the bend. Goruko, Akino, and Uhei all darted away, hiding from the sudden wave of hard pebbles the enemy shot at them. Tsuneo glared at his teammate. "Really, Goro? Pull it together! I could use your help with this bunch of mutts," the skinny guy growled, grabbing Tori's walking stick off the ground and swinging it at Guruko to drive him back.

Goro spat to the side and then finally came at Sam, the full heavy weight of his body carrying through the rather straightforward left-cross. With a short, intake of breath and thanking the heavens that Goro seemed to be moving relatively slow, Samantha dodged the oncoming punch, falling to a quick crouch. Looking quickly for the knees, she slashed under the kneecaps. It wasn't as deep as Sam had been expecting, but it was relatively effective. _Hallelujah, Hinata!_ However, her victory was short-lived when she heard a shout above as Goro's angry fist continued towards her head. Sam felt the breeze of the punch as she rolled away. She swore she could feel the earth rattle because of that punch! Goro turned his enraged expression towards her and he started again his fast approach. Sam fell back while she scrambled to get to her feet _Stupid left feet! I never thought I had two left feet until now, but gosh darn rotten!_ She couldn't get her footing and at this point she couldn't help her thoughts. _I'm gonna die. I'm so gonna die!_ When, to her sudden and great relief, a blur of fur rushed by her and Sam watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Akino snarled and jumped, biting and latching on to Goro's shoulder.

Goro flailed about, trying to dislodge Akino from his back. Tsuneo was backed into the far corner by the growling advance of Uhei and Guruko. He used Tori's walking stick in sharp thrusts to keep the two dogs back while also trying to attempt hand signs. He looked up, up above them all and then smirked. "Took you long enough!" he called.

Tori looked up and dread filled her heart as she saw the massive form of Yuta blocking out the starlight as he slowly rappelled down the cliff she was beneath.

There was a horrible thumping sound and Akino gave a sharp yell of pain as Goro's body slammed him backwards into the cliff wall, pinning the poor nindog. Shaking his head, the shinobi kicked at the fallen Akino and then turned to glare at Samantha. "You bitch," he snarled, "Calling dogs on us." He slammed his mighty hands together and began to do finger signs, calling each out as he tried to focus his chakra through the haze of his concussion.

Samantha panicked, "Um, um…!" She looked at the kunai in her hand and without a second thought, threw the weapon at Goro as hard as she could. Sadly, Sam had terrible aim due to her nerves and she missed the shinobi - but Goro noticed her effort and his eyes narrowed darkly.

He growled irritably and then started his finger signs over from the beginning. Sam had made him lose his place. A sudden spark of inspiration caught her attention, and Samantha's eyes grazed the ground, running for another of the kunai that were scattered all over. (They glinted in the moonlight.) She went to one, picked it up and threw it at Goro. Then another, then another, hoping that at least one of them would hit him. ( _Oh please hit where he's incapacitated!)_ Sam wished darkly. It could hit anywhere, really! Sam's hope was that it would slice his hand. Or even gut him. But in all honesty, Sam had been so stressed and terrified that while she was aiming, she wasn't _actually_ aiming. She tried but… well, they were in the middle of a battlefield. You throw many and at least _one_ will hit. That was the motto Sam was going by!

The dark shadow of Yuta continued to descend as though a black cloud of doom while Victoria fought gravity and her own weakness to get Rin up off the ground. Her entire torso was screaming at her, but thanks to the frantic demands of adrenaline, somehow she was still moving when all her mind wanted to do was black out. "Wake up. Wake up. Wake up," she chanted pleadingly even as the loose-limbed girl started to slither out of Tori's grip once again. A dull thud rattled up her legs as Yuta's massive weight finally cleared the last of the rope. He looked around for a moment, then saw Rin and began to make his way towards the hostage. He moved with the inevitable confidence of a glacier. Victoria was used to tall guys - her own brothers were 6'4" and 6'5"! - but even she was horribly dwarfed by the giant Yuta.

Victoria felt helpless, frozen staring up at him. He came nearer and nearer, his shoulders blocking out the distant starlight. Victoria felt herself growing smaller and weaker and tired. Every hurt swelling and threatening to smother her as surely as Yuta would as soon as he reached out. It was all over. There was no way she could win this fight. No way at all. But then Rin - Little Rin who was just the same age as Tori's sister Cecilia - finally stirred, her face turning slightly in towards Victoria as a soft groan spilled past her lips.

It was hard to describe the sudden change in Victoria. All her own fears and insecurities and pain were swept away in a huge rush as a wave of fierce protectiveness pounded through her. Like a golden light burning away the doubts, it made her arms stronger, her gaze surer and her focus perfect. She clutched Rin to her, and all the force of Victoria's maternal instincts thundered through her voice as she shouted louder than she ever had before: " _ **BACK OFF!**_ " The sheer volume of her command sent it clattering around the canyon with an almost physical force: the dogs whimpered and covered their ears. Goro tripped and fell as he lunged at Sam in tandem with Sam falling onto her butt, partially from shock. Yuta stumbled back a few steps, looking stunned. Even Tsuneo was driven down to his knees.

There was a hiss somewhere above and then a dark shape fell at their feet. Sam barely registered seeing a blur of blue and yellow slide down the rope dangling over head as Tsuneo cried out, "Leader!" Yuta stepped back again, and they could all see for themselves that the fallen shape was the body of the fourth member of the enemy squad: her throat a bloody, open wound still vomiting blood. Before anyone could even react, Yuta gasped: a sickening gurgling sound, and clutched at his own neck. Sam dove out of the way as the mountain of a shinobi stumbled and fell right where she had been.

Victoria, gripping Rin tightly against her chest, saw the chance for what it was. She ran for the opening past Yuta - breaking free of the corner she and Sam had been trapped in and dodging the stumbling giant who soon crashed to the ground. Victoria felt a wet stickiness splash against her face as she ran past him and only the single-minded focus on keeping Rin safe kept her from vomiting right then. She flew towards the canyon's end, putting as much distance as she could between Rin and her captors.

Tsuneo flailed blindly around desperately smashing his stolen weapon through the air to fend off the invisible force that had already taken down half his squad. He was desperate, sensing the fierce aura of his death approaching, but the Yellow Flash needed only a second's time to find an opening. A nasty sourness cut through the rusty scent of blood as Tsuneo fell, vainly clutching at his own spilling guts. That left only Goro alive, scrambling to free his leg out from under the dead weight of Yuta. Over the fallen Tsuneo's shoulder, Minato briefly appeared, his kunai flashing across the injured shinobi's throat: a mercy kill. Disembowelment could last for hours. Then the yellow and dark blue blurred once again in the darkness.

Like the after image of a photo, Minato seemed to suddenly blur back into focus, the foot of his tactical boot firmly pressing on the center of Goro's chest. The moonlight bathed his perfect features and Sam's knees went weak at the devastating contrast of his unearthly beauty and the dark stink of blood and death that surrounded them all. It was nothing short of terrifying. _No wonder he's a "Flee On Sight."_ Sam thought, her heart pounding from adrenaline and awe. The streaks of yellow that blazed by as Minato had fought was nothing short of, well, beautiful.

Their enemy finally down, Guruko and Uhei hurried over to the wounded Akino. Sam blinked at the bodies at her feet, feeling numbness spreading through her - a defense against the horrified panic that would surely descended once she really realized what had just happened. The kunai - wet with Tori and Goro's blood slipped from her fingers and clattered on the stone.

Goro's panicked wheezing cut off as Minato leaned slightly forward, his weight pressing the air from his enemy's lungs. "You are now a prisoner of the Leaf," Minato said, his voice disarmingly soft. "Surrender or you, too, can die."

Goro's eyes hardened and he spat at Minato. His left arm reached towards his hip where a weapon rested, but before he was even in reach, Minato had tossed a kunai expertly into Goro's wrist and straight through the soft tissue between the bones - pinning the man's hand to the ground as effortlessly as a taxidermist's needle caught a dead butterfly. Goro's guttural scream tore the silence that still clouded the air after Tori's ear-aching shout.

Samantha watched in partial awe and shock. It was one thing to see or read about someone being physically hurt, but to watch? Nearly disturbing. It made her feel… well, Sam was unsure just _what_ she felt about the whole thing. She looked at the situation around her: three shinobi dead, and the other pinned under Minato's feet, blood smearing everywhere. Perhaps this was the kind of thing that a counselor at school would call you in for to see if you're not mentally disturbed.

There was a horrible, gargling, choking sound. "Just kill me, maggot," Goro choked, "I'll never talk!" Sam looked over and just as quickly winced at the sight of Minato with his boot now pressing against the downed Goro's throat.

Minato sighed softly. "I know you won't," he murmured. His gaze shot around the blood-splattered canyon. "And I haven't the resources to take you back anyways." He withdrew a familiar-looking blade. "Go in peace to your gods, friend." His melodious voice was a soft prayer nearly swallowed in the horrible squishing sound of Minato's knife stabbing expertly into and through the enemy shinobi's carotid artery. The gushing hiss of hot blood pouring forth from a neck and whistling over a blown trachea was something that the anime had never, ever, ever been able to portray.

It was one thing to watch on tv, but… seeing someone be killed in real life, and unable to look away? Samantha found herself on her knees, ignoring the scratches that pierced her hands as she threw up the contents of her stomach. With one last dry heave, Sam groaned and wrapped an arm around her stomach, trying but failing to forget the blood gushing from the man's neck nor its terrible sound.

She nearly jumped when Minato crouched before her: an innocuous white handkerchief held out in offer. "Was this your first time?" he asked softly, "Witnessing a death?"

Sam took the handkerchief, her cheeks red with embarrassment. "In person? Well… yeah…" She mumbled; her stomach was still reeling at the thought of it.

In the dim starlight, Minato's eyes were almost black, but the sadness in them was unmistakable. Looking into his eyes was like catching a glimpse of the weight of souls that Minato Namikaze carried with him. Something told Sam that if you asked him, Minato would remember the face of every single shinobi he had been required to kill. ..And the war was far from over still. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It was unavoidable."

Samantha laughed, witheringly, "Heh, well, comes with the territory? At least the danger is gone…" Her eyes twitched in remembrance, "Oh no! Tori! A-and Rin!" Samantha looked wildly about, trying to see if she could catch a glimpse of either of them.

Guruko looked up from where he and Uhei had been helping Akino to rest over the back of Uhei's shoulders. The poor bespectacled dog was obviously in a lot of pain, but still conscious. Goro body-slamming him into the wall must have really hurt. "Pakkun followed them," he explained, naming the fourth member of their nindog pack who had arrived with the perfectly timely Minato.

"Now that the enemies are eliminated, we should join them," Minato said with a nod. "Guruko, will you lead Samantha-San there while I clean up? I will ensure Akino is safely moved too. Kakashi and Obito should be catching up soon."

* * *

At the mouth of the canyon, Tori's strength and mad adrenaline finally gave out. She had been blindly running, her vision swimming with scary purple stars and angry red bubbles that exploded with each bone-shaking jolt of her feet hitting the ground. Her shoulders were dragged forward like she hauled a planet between her arms, not just a twelve-year-old girl. Someone - a dog? - ran beside her with the odd, flying jumps that only ninjas did. He was telling her something, but the words were garbled and distorted like she was stuck in the bottom of the pool and the dog was speaking to her from the lifeguard tower far, far above. Then the bone-rattling jolts were further and further apart and all she could see were the purple stars jerking and swaying as red bubbles exploded. There was pressure against her arms and chest and then suddenly the weight - the planet she had carried across the universe - was gone. She wasn't protecting it anymore. Had she failed? "S-sorry," she mumbled, although Tori was so far gone she couldn't remember just why she needed to apologize. Her knees crumpled beneath her and she was unconscious before she even hit the ground.

* * *

When Sam and Guruko finally reached the mouth of the canyon, they were surprised, but pleased to see Rin and Pakkun sitting companionably beside a cheery little fire. Rin rose as she saw them approaching, waving to Samantha and Guruko. "Samantha-San," Rin greeted, "Guruko. Pakkun told me you were coming. Is Minato-Sensei close behind?"

Samantha knit her eyebrows, "No," she said dismissively, concern written all over her face, "Where's Tori?" Her heart ached with worry. The last time Sam had seen her best friend, Victoria had had a massive gash in her neck and it had been bleeding quite a lot.

Rin quickly skipped back over to the fire, gesturing to its other side where Sam hadn't seen anything through that strange darkness that always existed on the other side of a fire. Victoria was laying on a relatively flat section of ground, covered in all the coats and the one extra blanket that Sam remembered seeing in their scroll. Rin had clearly found the scroll still with Tori since the massive first aid kit from Sarada was also at her side. Rin had put it to good use, it would seem, as she had obviously cleaned up and bandaged the horrible cut on Victoria's neck as well as other nicks and cuts along Tori's arms. The unconscious Tori was horribly still and terribly, terribly pale, but by watching carefully, Samantha could see she was still breathing.

Rin, catching her gaze gave a small sigh that was somehow equal parts admiration and worry. "I'm not sure how she did it, but your friend managed to run all the way here with me. She passed out midstep, even. It was amazing, but… also worrisome. She used up nearly all her chakra just forcing herself to keep moving." Rin turned her wide brown eyes on Samantha. "Are you certain the two of you never learned chakra arts at your home? Most people would never be able to focus chakra into endurance when they were so much in shock."

"Hm, I wonder" Samantha murmured, mostly to herself. Cue the anime trop! When you don't know what to say, act all mysterious. "Did she really use chakra?" A spark of jealously twitched in her, but Sam instantly felt guilty at wishing she was as good at chakra usage, and immediately threw the thought out of her mind as she went and sat by the fire, holding her arms under her knees, ignoring the bruises she sustained from falling over so much.

Rin hesitated, seeming to second guess her own prognosis. "As far as I can tell?" she said uncertainly. "She certainly has the symptoms of someone dangerously low on chakra. But.. they are a lot like shock, too." Rin gave a sort of antsy shuffling step. "I'm still learning. I'm not actually certified as a medical nin yet."

Samantha smiled, even if it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's okay, Rin-san. Having you here is better than having no one here, right? Are you able to at least tell if she's going to be okay?"

Rin was much more confident as she gave a firm nod. "Yes. As long as she doesn't try any other chakra usage for the next several days and rests a lot, she should be just fine." Rin, for lack of anything else, put another log on the fire and resumed her own seat. "I..I am very sorry. That you guys had to stop in your journey so that Kakashi and the others could help find me. I should have followed the rules better. It was stupid to get caught like that."

"No!" Sam whipped her head to look at Rin, "Don't think like that! It's not your fault at all that those dude's were stupid and tried to kidnap you." Sam placed a hand on Rin's shoulder, "They're idiots to think that they could even try! Not to mention I would never be able to forgive myself, and I'm sure the same's for Tori, if we didn't try to help you out. So don't worry about it at all." Sam resumed her gaze upon the fire, feeling its warmth and doing her best not to throw up again. Her stomach hadn't completely settled from earlier.

After a moment, Rin softly said, "Thank you." It was companionably quiet for a second and then Rin suddenly started from her contemplation of the fire, "Oh! I forgot to ask if you were injured! Oh, my, look at me. Where is my head today? Samantha-San, may I please examine you?"

Sam blinked, "I, uh… sure." she shrugged, she wasn't sure there was actually any way to fix the bruises on her... erm… rear end. Even so.

Rin quickly busied herself in checking out all of Sam's scrapes and bruises. An impish smile crossed her features as she dabbed some healing ointment on a bad scrape on Sam's knee. "Wanna know something though? Before they knocked me out, I did manage to get one of those jerks - right in the eye!"

Sam laughed softly, "I kicked one of them in the balls."

Rin's eyes went huge and she looked to Guruko for confirmation. The fluffy-tailed dog nodded. "She did. ...Pretty effective, I must say."

Rin laughed in surprise and delight. She held her hand up for a high five which Sam promptly returned. "Way to go!"

Rin then filled Sam in on what their days apart had been like and asked worriedly after how Kakashi had behaved. Sam was polite, but brutally honest about how awful the youngest member of Team Minato had been. Rin winced and commiserated and apologized all in turn. Finally, she had finished tending to all of Sam and Guruko's injuries. The last thing she pulled from the medical kit was a cold compress that she handed over to Sam.

"Keep this behind your neck," Rin instructed, "It will help settle you and keep you from getting a headache." She then unsealed a canteen. "When you feel up to it, you should drink some water too," Rin added. As she was relaying these instructions, the thus far silent member of their group, a tiny brown bulldog, poked his head up from where he was curled up on one of Tori's improvised blankets.

Pakkun turned towards the canyon: his ears perked up. After a moment the puppy - because, really, he was just a tiny puppy of a dog - stood up and wagged his stump of a tail in betrayal of his serious nin-business. He gave a soft bark of recognition which was answered by a gruff rumble of a bark from Buru and a softer huff from Uhei. Guroku left his place at the fire to bound over to the rest of the squad as they approached from the canyon. Night-blinded by the fire, Rin and Sam didn't really see the others until they were within the throw of the firelight. Minato came first, the injured Akino cradled in his arms. For a horrible moment, it looked like Akino might be dead, but then his tail gave a feeble wag and he whined softly to Pakkun and the rest of his pack. Close behind was Obito, who hurried straight over to Rin, his normally smiling face pale and anxious until he saw her himself. "Rin. You're okay," he breathed.

Rin gave her teammate a quick hug. "Of course I'm alright," she promised. She then gave his hand a small squeeze before hurrying over to help with Akino. Minato waited for Rin to finish laying out one of the coats that had been on Tori to make a little bed for Akino and then gently laid down the injured dog. Rin set straight to work, the soft green glow of her healing shining eerily beneath her hands.

Last to enter the circle, in the shadow of Buru's great bulk was Hatake-San. His features were stone-cold, his small fingers tightly gripping a tiny pair of cracked sunglasses.

* * *

 **A/N: Whew! Another chapter, ya'll! and this is our longest one, yet! w00t! Btw, the song Kakashi sings in this... well... here's the link xD**

 **Song Name: Kaisou no Kusahara wa Kinihiro sung by Kazuhiko Inoue (we relied on a sketchy youtube video for the translated lyrics. Don't hate us!)**

www . karaoke-lyrics lyrics/kazuhiko-inoue/kaisou-no-kusahara-wa-kinihiro-690598

 **And man, there was so much angst! Holy Moly! But man... wasn't that action scene amazing? Eep! I just love Minato!**

 **If you just loved this chapter (or hated it) whatever you feel about this chapter, please read and review! We'll love you forever! And thank you soooooo much to those who have read, liked, or favorited (or did all of those) and reviewed! Stay friggin' awesome!**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: ...That Chapter Titles are Hard

 _It's morning._

 _The blanket slipped off my foot._

 _I'm cold._

These little thoughts introduced themselves slowly to Victoria's mind as the sun rose higher above the treeline. These little thoughts knew better than to try to rush her to wakefulness after the failed attempt of earlier. When Victoria didn't fall back into the oblivion of total unconsciousness, her subconscious tried again.

 _There's a small animal laying on my chest. Is it Abigail?_

Thinking of her sister's chihuahua seemed to stall Victoria's brain for a moment - she knew there was a reason that it couldn't be Abigail, but she wasn't ready to think through that difficulty yet.

 _I'm cold._

"Kakashi, you should send me back," a rough voice murmured from not too far away. "You're exhausting yourself."

There was a soft crackling sound and the wind blew the warm smell of woodsmoke towards Victoria.

 _A campfire?_

"I sent Buru and Guruko and Uhei back already. I'm fine."

"Send me back," the first voice insisted gently. "And keep Pakkun here if you need someone. He's the smallest. You'll barely notice the pull on your chakra."

There wasn't a reply for a moment and under the snaps and popping sounds of the fire, the barely-conscious Victoria could just make out distant bird song and someone snoring. The third sound was strange.

 _Kakashi's sharpening a kunai._

With this rather sophisticated thought, Victoria's brain began to set in motion the rest of the waking up protocols. As it worked on things like 'remember where you are' and 'check how full the bladder is', the morning wind blew more smoke and ash over her, causing little Pakkun to sneeze and hop off Tori to go hide on Kakashi's lap.

"You're injured, Akino," Kakashi said in barely more than a whisper. "How will I know you're okay if you go back?"

"I will be okay," Akino promised. "And I'll heal faster at home."

"I shouldn't have left you to get hurt," the young shinobi chastised himself.

He was answered by a doggy huff. "Pain happens to all ninjas, Kakashi," Akino reminded him gently. "I chose my path and accepted the mission."

Pakkun whined softly and was awarded by Kakashi gently scratching behind his ears. The puppy's whole body quivered with the force of his happy tail wag. In the time it took Tori to figure out how to open her eyelids, there was a _poof_ sound and the weirdly sweet smell of chakra-summoning smoke.

As Victoria blinked and squinted into the morning light, Pakkun gave a small bark. "She's awake," he announced to the young Kakashi. Kakashi instinctively tugged his mask higher up the bridge of his nose and turned to evaluate the rest of the group. The majority of Team Minato was sleeping around the firepit: Rin, Obito, Sam, and Victoria were all lying or leaning against nearby trees, catching what sleep they could. Only Kakashi was awake, ready as always to defend. Pakkun's bark, though, began a ripple effect with Obito starting awake in surprise and Rin more languidly stretching her arms and using the tree she had napped against to help her stand up. "I'll go tell Sensei," Pakkun offered helpfully. He gave Kakashi a quick, doggy lick to the cheek and then began to leap away towards the boundaries of the camp.

Samantha, herself, blearily awoke, stretching and yawning as she did so. There was a massive crick in her neck from resting against the tree, and she proceeded to pop her neck from the achyness it presented. She heard the puff of smoke and small 'yip' from a dog nearby, and glanced in that direction to find Kakashi sitting alone next to a slowly burning fire pit.

" _Man,_ I'm exhausted," A yawning Obito proclaimed. Rin giggled from her spot, though Sam could tell that she was just waking up as well.

"Obito, you _just_ woke up from sleeping." Rin pointed out.

"Yeah," Obito drawled, "But with everything that happened last night, I could sleep for a whole decade and _still_ be tired." The teenager dramatically flopped back down on the sleeping bag he had hauled down from the abandoned cave.

"But Obito, you got there at the end of the fight."

"Aw, c'mon, Rin. You know I woulda kicked their butts if I'd been there just a little earlier!" Obito protested, scrambling up to his feet to plead his case to the girl he was crushing on. "After all, becoming the next hokage means I've gotta be awesome!"

Feeling somewhere between half-dead and all-dead, Victoria very, very slowly pushed herself up onto one elbow and blinked slowly around the circle. She gave a soft sigh of relief when she saw Rin and Obito. She had to turn a little farther but finally she saw Sam. "Are we all okay?" she asked, her voice weird and raspy like she was sick from the flu.

The soft smile which Samantha had adopted from the two ninja's conversation fell into a frown as Tori spoke. "Basically…" Sam surmised, "But you've definitely got the worse for wear."

Kakashi abruptly stood up. "We should start to pack up," he instructed Rin and Obito. "Minato-Sensei wanted to leave as soon as the civilians woke up."

Tori blinked towards the mercurial ninja, but then looked back to Sam and the others while Kakashi stomped off towards the trees for some reason known only to him. "I feel kinda like I got hit by a truck," Tori agreed. "Or flattened by a steam roller." She yawned so widely she winced when it pulled her jaw funny. "Ugh. My mouth tastes like something died in it."

Rin appeared and knelt beside Victoria with a canteen. "That's not surprising, Victoria-San. You were dangerously low on chakra last night. That can cause full body exhaustion, and body-aches."

"And you kinda _did_ get hit with a nasty punch _as well as_ getting your neck sliced." Sam deadpanned. "I don't think that we're gonna be able to move as fast as Kakashi is expecting."

"I was able to heal up Victoria-San's ribs a little bit." Rin said to Samantha, then turned and spoke directly to Tori, "They should feel better than last night. How come you never told us your ribs were broken?" Rin asked, curiosity and an almost medical-authoritative voice mingling together.

Tori grimaced a little at the accusation. "I didn't wanna cause a fuss," she lied. Really, it had originally been a matter of not wanting to look like a lame weakling compared to everyone else. Oh well. That had become obvious enough after a while, but then the Sam-and-Hatake battle had just been too much drama to throw anything else into it. "And I was making it work with the brace and pills and stuff."

Rin gave her a long look, like she knew Victoria was lying but then she shook her head slightly and sighed. "Whatever you say. How's the pain today, then? Do you need something?" At Victoria's nod, Rin began to dig through the medical kit.

Obito siddled over to Sam. "Hey. You, uh, got any more of those snacks?" he asked hopefully.

Samantha blinked. Through everything that happened the night before, Obito's lightheartedness was a breath of fresh air. Sam smiled, a small laugh wanting to bubble through, "Well, I wouldn't be surprised if we did! Though…" She muttered, "We _did_ eat a lot of them yesterday… I'll need to check the scroll to see if we do!"

Ambling over towards Victoria, Samantha knelt down and held out her hand, "Hey, you have the scroll with all our stuff in it, right?"

"I have that, Samantha-San," Rin said. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the scroll and offered it back to Sam. Her head tilted slightly to one side. The female shinobi's brown eyes were sharp with intelligence. "Some of the seals are unusual," she noted lightly.

"Really?" Sam asked, slightly confused. She didn't notice any unusual seals. Rin nodded and when Samantha opened up the scroll, she pointed to the seals that were labeled in English. It was like a lightbulb went off in Sam's head as she saw them.

"Yeah, why do those seals look so weird?" Obito asked, looking over Sam and Rin's shoulder.

With a shrug, Samantha glanced over the English-lettered seals, "I dunno," She responded truthfully, "Maybe because Tor and I know a few different languages that it just… does that?" Sam shrugged once again, brushing off their confusion right off her shoulder. She honestly couldn't explain why the seals were in English apart from the fact that that's the language Sam and Tori knew.

"Also! What is that?" Obito pointed to the symbol of an apple on the scroll. Samantha, looked it over once, before continuing her search for the potato chips.

"Applesauce," Samantha responded, though her gaze was elsewhere. She missed Obito's knitted brow.

"That can't be right…" He mumbled to himself, "Are you sure?"

"Yup." Sam said. What more could be said? "A-ha! Found it!" She quickly set the scroll on the ground, did her best to bring in the chakra to her hands, and after feeling the hum in her fingers, unsealed the chips to the best of her knowledge. Unfortunately, since Samantha was still getting the hang of using chakra, it still had the tendency to knock her off balance. When she sat back up, however, she saw just what she had been unsealing. "Success!" She cheered.

Tori gave a sleepy chuckle. "Wooo, Sam," she cheered after swallowing the medication Rin had given her. "Could you pass it to me? I really want my toothbrush.."

"Absolutely not," Rin said firmly. "Victoria-San you are forbidden from using chakra for at least three days until you replenish your supply."

"I'll get your toothbrush," Obito offered reaching down to grab up the scroll.

"Wait, wait!" Sam slapped a hand on the scroll to stop Obito from picking it up, "I should pull it out because I need to practice! After all, practice makes perfect."

"You've never practiced seals before?" Obito asked, disbelieving. "Why not?"

"Obito!" Rin elbowed him.

"Cult," Tori reminded around a yawn.

Samantha smirked, "What she said."

"That's what she said," Tori corrected with a chuckle.

"Oh good grief," Sam rolled her eyes, "You _really_ had to say that, didn't you? Tori! There's children around!"

"I thought I told you to pack up camp." Kakashi glowered at all three of them as he stalked back into sight. Rin jumped immediately up and began to clean up the medical kit. Obito rolled his eyes at the youngest ninja's sudden appearance. "All you want to do is lie around talking," Kakashi said sharply, "Can we get some action here, please?"

"Now that's what he said," Tori whispered to Sam.

"Oh geez," Sam smacked her palm to her forehead, Sokka style.

"Bakakashi," Obito muttered, irritably, "We were getting to that part, ya know!" He spoke loudly to his equally irritated comrade.

"No, you weren't. You were eating chips."

"Yeah, but after that!" Obito protested. "Besides, Victoria-San needs to move slowly, so it's perfect."

"I think that's a skill she already has down," Kakashi muttered as he dumped water over the barely smoking fire.

"What a buttmunch!" Sam growled to herself while handing Victoria her toothbrush. What was it with Tiny Kakashi and getting on her nerves? There was _no_ way that he was teasing her like Tori had suggested the day before. She sighed, before gracelessly standing to go and clean up her own bedding.

Tori, still feeling like her head was made of oatmeal, brushed her teeth and managed to slowly fling the coats and blankets that had been her nest to Obito as he had fun sealing them away for her. She was still feeling pleasantly numb about everything… which was so, so much better than the agonizing pain that had been her last few days. _Rin really must have helped my ribs_ , she mused. _But I guess my feet will be the real test. If I could just find any energy whatsoever to get up._

The rest of the squad had the campsite nearly cleaned up by the time that Minato-Sensei appeared. He slowly looked around, evaluating everything - including Victoria's continued position sitting on the last blanket as she slowly pulled on her shoes. He then gave his team a faint smile. "Good morning, everyone. I hope you got enough rest. We will need to move quickly today."

"Hai, sensei!" Rin smiled her acknowledgement.

Victoria waved Sam over to her and gave a hopeful wiggle of her fingers that Samantha could help her to her feet. A part of her was worried about how Tiny Kakashi was going to react to once again being ditched by his squad in favor of having to escort her and Sam the rest of their limping way to Konoha. _At least we are out of the cliffs so he can't threaten to knock us over one anymore_. Victoria was not happy about how much effort it seemed to require to get back onto her feet - even with Samantha helping. _As Sam would say, "Oh crunch." I do not know how I'm gonna make even a few miles today, much less as far as Little Hatake is gonna want to go._ She chewed her lip a little, giving Sam a worried look.

"What's the plan, Sensei?" Obito asked brightly even as he and Rin quickly packed away the last blanket that Victoria had been sitting on. He handed Victoria back the scroll once it was all tied up again. "Who's going after the info scroll and who's gonna help with the civilians?"

Minato gave one of those short laughs that adults generally do when they aren't quite certain how to answer a question. "That's what we need to determine, Obito," he said.

Samantha watched the exchange, holding onto Victoria because she seemed wobblier than normal on her feet. Essentially, Tor was always stable on her feet; so it was easy to see that something wasn't right. _I wonder if they're going to have Kakashi lead us back again. Or will he be the one to go after the scroll? That would make the most logical sense…_ however, that's not what she decided she was going to say. "If you end up needing to go together before you head back to Konoha, I'm sure you'd be able to get there and back to us before we get too far. Considering you've got your ninja-y awesomeness to help you out and all…" Sam shrugged after putting in her thoughts to the group, and immediately felt a little uncomfortable when everyone's eyes were on her.

Obito piped up, "You guys do move a bit slower than us. I could totally run the distant you guys made in two hours. Easy!"

"So could your grandmother," Tiny Kakashi said, shooting Obito an annoyed look.

Kakashi's irritated quip nearly made Samantha laugh. _What's with Kakashi and grandmothers? I feel like I recall him mentioning them when he was an adult… whoa… that's weird, saying 'when he was' for a kid who hasn't actually yet become an adult…_ Samantha placed her free hand on her hips and gave a big smile. "See? I'm sure we'll be just fine until then." _And, well… after, too…_ "Right, Tor?" Sam turned to her friend.

Tori's smile was as wobbly as her knees. "Yeah," she agreed. "It seems like your mission really does need its whole squad. You go do what you need. I'm sure you'll sniff us out when you need to."

"Minato-Sensei, we can't leave them alone!" Rin protested. "They risked their lives to save me! What if those enemy nin send others? We can't leave our friends defenseless."

"But…" Sam began, "Didn't we defeat all those enemy nin?"

"Sensei said they looked like mercenaries," Obito blurted. "So that means somebody probably hired them."

Minato Namikaze watched the two Earth-born women carefully, judging reactions, but he gave a slight nod at Obito's declaration. "Whatever is decided, it is certain that we should ensure that we put as much distance as we can between us and last night's battlefield."

Rin stepped closer, speaking softly, but firmly as though nervous to speak out against her sensei. "Minato-Sensei, although there were no terrible injuries from last night, Victoria-San should really be resting. Her chakra is far from restored."

Victoria's ears burned in embarrassment as everyone looked at her. "I'll - I'll be fine," she promised rashly. "But..I'll be slow. Still. I'm - I'm just slow. It's kinda what happens when you have to haul around more weight than a person should. I am really sorry. If there was a way for me to suddenly be skinny enough to go as fast as you guys, I would, but I - I can't, ya know?" Her throat tightened and she wanted to die for the way her voice cut out on the last word. But she _definitely_ was not going to cry again. ...It sounded like just way too much effort for one thing.

Sam looked at Victoria with a frown, "I don't think being skinny has anything to do with how fast you move... Just look at Callie," Sam's roommate, "She's super thin but she doesn't ever have energy to go on long walks and all that jazz…" Turning to look at Minato, Sam had to agree with Rin, "Victoria already had broken ribs… plus that horrible cut on her neck. Though I guess that Rin did help close that up…" Sam muttered the last part, then spoke up again, "It might be best if we just rested… somehow..." Suddenly, it seemed like Sam was out of ideas of just what _should_ happen.

Hatake muttered some choice words under his breath. "For the love.. What? Do you two want us to carry you into Konoha on golden litters or something?"

"Kakashi!" Rin scolded, but he just kept going.

"Seriously! We are doing you a _favor_ even offering to get you to Konoha. The least you could do is put in some _modicum_ of effort here! There's a reason, Obito, that it took us for-freaking-ever to get this far. The two of them practically walked backward over the entire distance! And then they had one instruction: one measly command to stay out of sight and instead they nearly got themselves, Akino, and Rin killed!"

Samantha huffed, feeling her cheeks burn, "Firstly, I was intending on staying _here_ until y'all came back. Secondly, you're acting as if we _intended_ to get attacked! You think we _wanted_ to put ourselves in danger and almost kill ourselves and everyone else? In case you didn't know… they'd taken Rin. Any person who cared about the wellbeing of others wouldn't sit back and watch someone be abducted. If anything… Tori's a hero for putting herself out there, like that!"

"She's an idiot that put herself into a situation she wasn't prepared for," Kakashi fired back without hesitation.

"Better that then the dudes run off with your _teammate_!" Sam shot back just as quickly.

"Rin's a shinobi. She knew the risks when she took on the mission," Kakashi declared coldly.

Victoria winced at the dead clinicalness of Little Kakashi's words. It truly sounded like he thought that it would have been better for her to stay out of it. That Rin being kidnapped and who-knows-what-else was just an unfortunate outcome. That it didn't even really matter. _How broken must you be inside to really think like that? To think of someone else as expendable. To, by extension, think of your own self as expendable._ Even in her darkest moments, Tori still knew that life, in and of itself, was precious and something worth fighting for. It was what had gotten her out to the other side of that darkness.

"Then what's the point?!" Sam started, feeling her jaw clench, and her body begin to shake with anger, "What's the point of having teammates in the _first place_ if you're just going to abandon them! The answer is, there's not."

"Kakashi wouldn't have abandoned me," Rin broke in, a hand fisted protectively over her heart. "He puts the mission first, but he is still loyal to our squad, Samantha-San. He just didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"That might be his downfall…" Sam glowered, remembering his future hesitation in saving Rin at Kannabi Bridge and that becoming the reason they lost Obito. Crossing his arms tightly across his chest, Kakashi jerked his head away as though disdaining to even acknowledge what Sam had said.

Obito, who had been quiet throughout the whole fight, stepped forward just a smidge, his fists clenched at his sides. "Kakashi… Kakashi - that baka - he really…" Obito seemed to be shaking just as much as Samantha. She watched him with slight surprise but also she wasn't surprised either. Obito, after all, _did_ kinda sorta think of Kakashi as his best friend. In such a weird way as Naruto and Sasuke. "He wasn't always like that." It was as if Obito was pretending Kakashi wasn't even in the room. It surprised Sam that he would be talking about Kakashi like this _while_ he was around to hear. "He's got a hard heart, but it wasn't always like that... Deep down, he actually feels the same as you. And me… and Rin and Minato-Sensei. It's just trying to get through that baka's thick skull!" Obito added.

Kakashi finally scowled at Obito. "If you want me to break through your own thick skull, I can make that happen," he said, but somehow, in the same explicable way that punching your bro in the face resolved most male battles, the threat sounded like Kakashi thanking Obito for what he said. Rin certainly had a relieved smile. But then Kakashi gave Sam a wary look.

Samantha scrutinized Obito for a moment, feeling just a little ashamed. She _knew_ all of what Obito and Rin were saying. After all, she'd watched the anime enough to know that Kakashi actually was just scared for his friends. Not to mention, it seemed absolutely ridiculous to be fighting with a kid. Even if that kid was a prodigy. She looked at Kakashi once again. "Look. I won't apologize for helping save Rin. I won't absolve Victoria's actions, or apologize for her either - that's not my place. But I _am_ sorry for all the stress that it put you under. We honestly had no intentions for causing the injuries that your dogs received, or expected them to fight with us. So… yeah… I'm sorry." Sam's hot temper that came from her beliefs tended to get in the way a bit… so she might as well be the bigger person and apologize for how quickly it comes and goes. Not to mention Sam _was_ the adult in this situation… regardless of what being a shinobi considered people.

Tori frowned, turning to Sam. "The dogs got hurt?"

Samantha blinked in surprise, looking at Tori, "Uh… well, yes. That big dude I was fighting slammed the poor pup against the wall… I thought you knew?"

Several emotions flickered over Victoria's face as she processed that and the sudden influx of memories from last night's battle. It was still blurry - more like a dream or a book she had read than really something she'd experienced, but she remembered the sound of a dog yelping, remembered the panic she had felt when she couldn't lift Rin. Other things she couldn't touch: the way she had felt paralyzed when Tsuneo had come at her and how only Uhei's sudden block had kept her from dying right then. She had a sudden flickering memory of hot blood splashing her face and felt sick and dizzy. She stumbled, and only Sam's surprisingly strong grip kept Tori from falling over. "I - I'm not sure I really remember it all right," she confessed.

Minato, in all his grandeur of being the iconic Yellow Flash, stepped forward with a look of sympathy upon his features, making nary a sound. He placed a comforting hand upon Victoria's shoulder, "What you experienced was very traumatic. Very little do civilians from any village have that kind of encounter. It puts a lot of stress on the mind. Probably best that you don't remember all the events that occurred." Minato then turned towards his team, "Rin is right. We can't let you go alone; nor can we abandon our mission." His cerulean blue eyes pierced right through Kakashi, "Kakashi, stay with these two while we continue forward. If you deem it alright to move forward to Konoha, we'll catch up. Don't worry about us, alright? We'll be fine."

"Yeah!" Obito fisted the air with his small cheer, "Besides, with the future Hokage on the team, we'll be back in no time!"

Minato smiled in the wake of the over-cheerful Uchiha, "You're more than capable of this mission."

Samantha, for all that she was holding on to Victoria's arm to hold her steady, felt a steady beam of attraction from a very hot, very close-by Minato. _Holy friggin' moly…! He's… he's so sexy! Ack!_ It was as if Sam's legs had the same thought process. Her legs felt like they lost their ability to stand, their wobbliness making her fingers grip Victoria just a little tighter. _How does Minato_ do _that? How is he so friggin' hot?_ The morning sunlight dusted its pale gold light over Minato's immaculate skin. Sam had heard K-Pop stars bragging about having skin like porcelain but that had never really made sense to her as a description… yet, Minato's skin really was smooth and even and luminescent enough that it did seem like he was carved of some special stone rather than being regular old skin like a normal apt-to-get-zits human person. And even his nose. His nose was perfect. Like, it was rare to see a nose and think "dang, that's a nice nose," but Minato seriously had a great nose!

Sam's tight grip was actually hurting Victoria's fingers, but she was glad for it as it kept her from just giving up and falling to her butt on the ground. She tried to just focus on that idea: not falling, as Minato finally stepped back and turned to draw Kakashi aside for a private conversation. The same tiny pug puppy of earlier happily pranced after them. Rin withdrew a small pouch from her ninja fanny pack. "Victoria-San, it's very important that you have enough nutritional intake this week. I took these food pills from your kit earlier. I want you to be very careful to take one along with your pain medication. Now, you can only take that every four hours, so please take my watch so you can keep track of that." Rin, after a moment helped Sam to put the pills and medication into the backpack Sam was now in charge of carrying. The brown-haired shinobi gave Victoria's other hand a small squeeze. "Don't let Kakashi push you too fast nor too far. It's okay to ask for a break."

 _Oh sure. Until the mercs show up and finish everyone off cuz I was too slow_. Tori couldn't quite push away the dark thought, but she gave Rin a tired smile. "I'll try not to get in too much trouble, Rin-Chan," Tori promised.

Rin's answering smile was brilliant. "Thank you, Victoria- _Chan_!" She surprisingly gave the taller woman a quick hug and then smiled shyly at Sam. "You'll keep an eye on her, Samantha-Chan?"

"Absolutely!" Samantha gave her a peace sign to signify her promise. It was similar to Naruto always giving a thumbs up but… something Sam tended to do naturally. "Tori will not get away with anything while I'm on watch!" With a big smile, Sam briefly glanced at Kakashi's glowering, stiff form when he and Minato came walking back. Samantha's smile dimmed a little. She hated fighting, and she hated that Tiny Kakashi enticed those irritable emotions within her. _Alright, I've decided!_ Sam cheered in her head, feeling a little like Tohru from _Fruits Basket_ when she would gear up to be ready for anything _I'm going to make Kakashi become friends with us! Somehow or another, he will miss us when we go!_

* * *

It was a rough morning. Victoria stumbled along as slowly as ever, but there was no way of hiding the fact that she was exhausted and her balance was off. It was like she was sleep-walking or drunk. Samantha had tried to let Victoria walk on her own just once when Tori insisted, and Pakkun had almost gotten flattened when Tori face-planted just moments later. "Ugh, just take a break already," Kakashi growled, Pakkun tucked in his arms protectively. "This is more pathetic than Obito crushing on Rin." He stomped away.

Victoria sighed and let her face fall back down into the dirt. She had at least tried to get her arms back under her, but Tiny Kakashi's frustrated words were like cinder blocks thrown on top of her. There was no way she could find the arm strength to push herself back up. "It hurts, Sam," she whimpered.

"I'm sorry," Sam replied, empathy etched in her voice. She really had no idea how to help Victoria except to be there when her friend needed her. "Was there anything I could get you? Any pain pills?" She paused, "Kakashi's right, though. We should take a break…"

"Not that kind of pain," Tori mumbled. "Rin's pills helped that." Although she still wanted to cut off her feet and bury them in an ice bucket, it was the kind of dully consistent pain at this point that she could mostly block it out. "Hatake. His words hurt. I'm not sure how much more 'you-suck-fattie' I can take."

Samantha frowned, deeply. "I don't know if Kakashi really means it that way…" At least, Sam was praying he didn't. If he did… well. Sam looked in the same direction that Kakashi went, then looked at Victoria. "I… gotta pee. I'll be right back," Then she stalked off in the same direction, not allowing Tori's protests to stop her. She had something to say so she was gonna say it! When she found Kakashi, he was pouting, up in a tree; although, Sam was sure he'd just say he was keeping vigil watch.

"Hey!" Sam called up at the silver-haired ninja, "Kaka-uuuh, Hatake-San! We need to talk."

"Maybe you need to talk," the sulking tween said as he gazed out at the rest of the treeline. The puppy in his arms was licking at the boy's cheek over and over. "I am just waiting for the two of you to stop torturing the road."

Samantha rose a brow at his comment. _Wow… he's_ really _pouting._ Still, she folded her arms, then cleared her throat. "Look. I know this sucks, having to guard us and make sure we don't get hurt, but…" Sam bit her lip, trying to think how to move forward, "Well, I know that you and Obito tend to bicker a lot and that it's fine, and Obito just brushes off your insults and doesn't actually care what you say to him, he'll just bounce back to his happy self and…" yes, Samantha did realize she was rambling, "Essentially, not everyone is like Obito. Words hurt. Emotional damage can last longer than physical damage. Victoria and I… we're civilians. We've not had to grow up learning to block our hearts off from the things people say about us. So… yeah. I know this sucks for you, but please… please try to refrain from comments that aren't nice. There's a saying my mom would say when I was younger," and happened to be from movies like Bambi, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." A long sigh escaped her lips and Sam looked at the foliage around them, turning her body slightly away from Kakashi.

There was a long silence from above. And then Kakashi finally said, "Is that it? That's what you needed to say?"

Samantha thought about it for a minute, "Yeah."

"Okay. Well. You said it. Let me know when your friend is done snoozing."

 _Snoozing?_ Sam thought, confused. She turned to look at Victoria and noticed that her friend had never gotten up from off the ground. Blinking precariously, Samantha slowly walked towards her friend, crouching and poking Victoria's arm once. "Hey, Tor." She tried, but Tori seemed to be out cold. Sam hummed, before standing up and called out to Kakashi, "I think we'll be a little while."

Kakashi gave a soft sigh, that was echoed by Pakkun barking. In the silence of the forest came a small grumble. "Lunch?" Pakkun asked eagerly, confirming to Sam that the weird sound was probably Kakashi's stomach growling. "Is it time for lunch?"

"Now's as good a time as any." Sam laughed, just a little bit. Then she remembered that Victoria had the scroll with their food. "Uh…" Lost in her thoughts, Sam had to remember where Tori had stored the scroll. _Wasn't it on a piece of paper? Is that in her pocket? Crap! I can't remember._ So, Sam made a decision to try to find the scroll in one of Tori's pockets. _This is weird_ she thought as she dug around each pocket. After a few minutes of ruffling, Sam found the scroll, rather than the tiny piece of paper, successfully. "Yes!" She cheered, "Prepare to be amazed!" Sam quoted Goob from _Meet The Robinsons_ quite dramatically - regardless of whether or not Kakashi understood the reference. It was still fun.

Opening the scroll, Samantha searched for the area where they had food and paused in her efforts. _Alright, Sam. Victoria's already good at this. She's even gotten to the point of sealing! You can be just as good!_ With enough prep-talk out of the way, Samantha did the motions and felt the hum of chakra in her fingers; then placed her hand over the food portion of the scroll. It was always a surprise when the expected result was not the actual result. Sam, having been crouched over, fell backwards as a rather impressive mound of food lay on top of the scroll. Ramen, and snacks and other food of all sorts were there for their taking.

"Uhm, Bon appetit!" Sam exasperated.

"How did you do that?" Little Kakashi asked from his place suddenly crouched at her side. He did not hesitate to reach out and grab a dango from the stack.

"Do what? Pull out food?" Sam looked at the food then back at Kakashi, "With chakra." Sam said, dryly.

"Release multiple seals at once with only one hand gesture," he said back, just as dryly.

Sam blinked, then pouted, "It wasn't supposed to be multiple seals…" She gave an exaggerated sigh, grabbing a bowl of Ramen to slurp down. "You'll probably have to seal them back in the scroll… I've not learned that part, yet."

He snagged a can of cola. "Can you answer a question?"

"Probably," Sam shrugged.

"If I were to actually believe the story about the cult in the mountains, how do you plan to explain how well you two are outfitted?"

Sam rose her brow and finished slurping another noodle, "Well, it's not like we didn't, or rather, don't, have friends."

"Well, where did they get supplies?" he asked stubbornly. "If you really were as isolated as you say."

"Just because we're isolated, doesn't mean that we are an ancient relic. We've got stores that we go to. We earn money to pay for supplies." Sam smirked, "Granted, Tori and I are good friends with someone who's richer then we are, hence," She gestured towards the scroll, "Why we have so much stuff on us. They knew we had a long journey ahead of us and wanted to make sure they covered all the bases." Sam shrugged. _Talk like what you say is the truth and it'll be easy to believe it._

"…...Uh-huh."

"Yup!" Sam smiled, happily, eating another slurp of her ramen and wishing there was another half-boiled egg.

"Keh." But Kakashi quietly ate his ramen without any further prodding of their pretext.

* * *

"It's been three hours, now. How much longer do we have to let her sleep?"

"I'd say as long as it takes. You forget that, according to Rin, Victoria depleted her chakra system…"

"...Can we at least move her? There's a clearing twelve meters ahead."

"Sure. Do you have any ideas on how to do so?"

"Not any that you'll like," Kakashi said grudgingly. He sighed. "You may as well nap too."

"Hm," Samantha thought, "I'm not actually sleepy. I'm quite awake, actually. You should probably rest, yourself. Did you get any sleep last night at all?"

"Obito took one watch."

"You relieved Minato-Sensei during it," Pakkun reminded him.

"Sounds like you get to rest," Samantha chirped. "Don't worry, yo. If anything happens, I'll make sure to wake you up. And I'm sure Pakkun will be there to keep watch with me, right Pakkun?" Sam hunkered down to scratch the puppy behind his ear, and he took to it like a bee to honey.

"Yes! Yes, I will!" the puppy promised enthusiastically, his back leg kicking with excitement at the mission as well as Sam's scratching.

"Just for an hour," Kakashi said firmly, sitting at the base of the tree nearest Victoria's unintended napping spot. He held a kunai in his hand - just in case. But soon his breathing matched the rhythm of Tori's snoring.

 _An hour? We'll see about that_ Sam connived, mischievously. With the two fast asleep, Samantha looked around herself for a nice place to sit, wondering what she should be doing at this point in time. She wasn't actually a shinobi, but she also wasn't used to doing nothing. _I guess I do like to go on hikes.. But I can't do that right now._ She would normally be working on her Japanese or drawing manga, or playing her video games. Like _Zelda: Breath of the Wild._

 _Man… I miss video games_ she pouted to herself. But the idea of studying Japanese wasn't a bad idea, except for the ninja dog keeping watch too. Sam wasn't sure she wanted him to know she couldn't actually read Japanese… being her age and all. Hmmm…

Not finding a good enough rock, Sam remembered their scroll and opened it up to pull out her bedding, as well as some bedding for Victoria's head. _A headache would_ not _be fun to wake up to. Tori's already bad about napping. She'll probably already be grumpy when she wakes. The poor dear._ So, she quickly made her friend as comfortable as possible (wondering why she didn't think of this earlier) and then leaned back to look at the clouds, while Pakkun came to rest near her. "So… what's your story, Pakkun? How'd you come to know Kakashi?"

"My sire had a contract with his sire," Pakkun said with a happy doggy smile. "I am proud to carry on our family heritage with Master Kakashi." He gobbled up a fallen chip he discovered under a leaf.

Sam smiled, petting the pup once again, "A contract, huh? That's cool. You guys became fast friends, then?"

The rest of the chip was forgotten as Pakkun full-body leaned into the petting. "Of course! Kakashi is kind and honest. He has many nin dogs that are loyal to him."

"More than the few we saw?" Of course, Samantha knew that Kakashi had more dogs than those he'd left with them, but Pakkun didn't know that she knew that. So she had to cover her bases.

Pakkun nodded. "Yeah. He took on all the nindogs from his sire's contract, I believe. Of course, they aren't all mission-capable anymore. But he does support those in need."

"Huh. That's really nice of him." Sam answered, honestly. Kakashi did have a heart of gold underneath all that hardness.

"He is loyal," Pakkun said proudly. "Like a dog."

Sam snorted, "Would you say his bark is worse than his bite?" She giggled at her own silly retort.

"I'm saying he is the best," young Pakkun said, sounding a little confused. "With a wonderful bark and a strong bite."

That received a full-blown, head tilted back, laugh from Samantha. Except, laying on the ground, her back arched just a little bit, "Sounds paw-rific."

"Don't make me _tail_ you to be quiet, Samantha-San," Kakashi grumbled sleepily from his tree.

Surprised at the comment, Sam burst into another fit of laughter, resting the back of her wrist against her forehead, "Sorry Ka-er, Hatake-San. I'll, uh, try to be quieter." Yet, Samantha still couldn't help the sniggers.

Pakkun finished eating the chip and then happily curled up on Sam's stomach with a huff. "Shinobi-ing is hard work," the puppy declared, and then quickly he joined Kakashi and Tori in falling fast asleep. _Not fair_ Sam half-heartedly grumbled in her mind, continuing to watch the clouds. Very Shikamaru-esque.

* * *

It was nearly dusk by the time Victoria woke up again. "What happened?" she asked Sam blearily as she rubbed at her eyes. Tori had woken up literally lying face down on the road - but weirdly enough with a pillow under her dirty cheek. She fumbled taking the food pills and pain killer out of Sam's hand even as the tiny pug barked and ran in little circles. Every single cell in her entire body was aching with occasional white bursts of sharper pain - like tiny dentists were holding drills to every nerve ending and muscle fiber. Swallowing made her want to pass out and she realized that the side of her neck which felt like it was on fire was probably due to her nice stab wound rather than the golden sunlight shooting through the trees and into her face. Sam handed her a canteen and she nearly dropped it because it felt so heavy.

Samantha half-smiled at Tori. "Everyone's been taking a nap. Except me because I wasn't sleepy. And I was keeping watch." Her smile turned mischievous and she whispered, "Like a real shinobi!"

Tori tried very hard to make a smile at Sam's silliness. ..It kinda looked like one. She shakily managed to get the heavy canteen to her lips. Half of the water splashed out of the corner of her mouth before she realized that she apparently needed to consciously hold her face muscles right. Weird to have your own body so uncooperative. "And I'm on the road because..?"

"Uh, well, that's how you fell asleep. So I got you a pillow!"

Tori managed a very slow nod. "I… think I don't want to be a shinobi." She said very slowly and thoughtfully. "It hurts."

"I don't think you have a choice," Samantha frowned. "Besides… it won't be forever." _Maybe._ Sam, having stretched and walked around earlier, had left Pakkun to head for comfort in Kakashi's sleeping form. Watching the two, Sam suddenly felt a ping of sadness. It was a pretty crappy lot in life that Kakashi had; but Sam knew he would get it turned around. Deep down, she prayed for the kid. Kakashi needed a lot of love and support. Now. If only he wasn't such a punk at this age! Sam couldn't blame him, though. She'd probably be just as roughed up as Kakashi for all the crap he would have to endure.

"I could die..." Tori offered musingly. "That's a way out of it."

Samantha gave Tori a dry look, as if to say _Really._ In fact, that's exactly the thought Sam had.

"...it feels like I'm dying," Tori muttered in a half-hearted apology. She wasn't trying to worry Sam. Sometimes it was just harder to divorce the intrusive thoughts from her real feelings.

"I'm sorry, Tor. That must really suck when we're lost in the wilderness…" Sam sighed, "But we'll be to Konoha within a few days, and I'm sure there'll be a comfy bed, there!"

"That's what we thought with Boruto...We're probably gonna end up in jail again. Why do ninjas hate us so much, Sam?" She managed one more sip and then let the canteen heavily fall down to the road beside her. Water sloshed out of the top, getting her hand and the side of Sam's leg wet. "Whoops."

Sam brushed off the spill like it was a gnat in the air. "Shh!" She whispered instead, "We don't want them to think we're terrible people on the run or anything!"

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Tori shook her head, trying to feel less muzzy. "Um. We should move now. Before I pass out again. Has the tiny, angry one yelled a lot?"

Sam opened her mouth to speak, but when she really thought about it…"Actually, no. He's been relatively quiet."

Victoria felt some relief over that, but still she figured it was more likely a testament to the fact they were all tired than that he had actually forgiven Tori and Sam for their interference in Rin's rescue. _At least she's okay. We didn't mess up so bad that someone died._ The self-reassurance knocked hollowly around and then drifted away when it realized that it wasn't going to actually help Victoria feel any better. Probably the only thing that would help is a very long nap and then an equally long talk with Jesus. As it was, all her prayers just now would be focused on keeping her legs moving rather than the emotional minefield that was knowing how to do the right thing during a war. But first, they had to get away from the danger Tori had brought down on them all. And that meant moving. Somehow. "I'm sorry to have to ask, Sam, but can you help me get up?" Tori asked humbly. "I don't know if I can do it on my own, honestly."

"I _really_ think you should rest longer…" Sam said, but she got up from her sitting position anyway to help Victoria.

"Can't. We gotta get to where it's safer." Sam protested that of course, but she did help Victoria get to her feet...after a few false starts and falls. Tori was, despite all her own best efforts, once again crying, but she challenged any onlooker to take on the current level of pain and exhaustion she was at, without a few tears themselves.

Pakkun fretfully barked and ran in circles around the two of them while Kakashi - who had woken up once Sam started to move around - checked his weaponry and made efforts to remove as much evidence as he could that they had been there. He scowled at the water splatters and crushed grass. He then looked over at Sam and the precariously standing Victoria. "It's going to be dark soon," he pointed out. "You gonna be able to stay on your feet in the dark?"

Victoria glared at the boy through her tears. "If I fall off a cliff, I'll let you know," she said, feeling spiky with embarrassment and pain and frustration at the disdain she heard between his words.

Hatake-San arched an eyebrow and then looked away, shaking his head. He started to walk down the path ahead of them. Tori's grip on Sam's hand tightened. "What?" Tori challenged. "What is it, Hatake? Do you have something you want to say?" The boy waved a hand dismissively over one shoulder as though to brush away her words. "No! Go ahead and say it," Tori growled. He reluctantly turned around, shooting a look over to Sam. He reached up, unconsciously tugging his mask further back up his nose. It was something that adult Kakashi did too, but somehow the endearing gesture just made Victoria even angrier.

 _How dare he! How dare he be so unkind and thoughtless and just toss away someone else's feelings like that?_ Her anger carried her forward three steps without Sam's help "No! Don't look at her. I'm the one you're ignoring. I'm the one you roll your eyes at and mutter about. At least have the guts to say it to my face!"

Samantha, feeling tense at the oncomings of a fight, came up to Victoria and said quietly, "That's probably my fault that he's not speaking…" Sam sighed and turned towards the rigid Kakashi, "You might as well tell her what you think… just... keep in mind what I said, yeah?"

"So now you're both talking behind my back?" Victoria snapped. Just as quickly as her sharp words came the grimace of regret for having struck out. "No, sorry, Sam. It's him," she said, pointing towards Kakashi who folded his arms across his chest. Pakkun darted into the bush in fright at Victoria's angry snarl. "He's who I'm mad at. Mad at his stupid, flagrant meanness."

Samantha, though Victoria had apologized, felt a stab of guilt and hurt at her words. Even though just a fraction were directed towards Sam, it was shocking to say the least. But listening to Tori, all Sam could do was look away with a frown plastered on her face.

"I could take it because he's a kid," Tori said to Sam, trying to fight through her growing anger to explain to Sam that she had been really, really trying to let it go. "I could take it because he's hurting that his dad died. I could take it because he was scared and frustrated, but _so am I!_ I'm scared and I'm frustrated because we are stuck in the middle of nowhere with someone who hates us and I'm running at the limits of my physical endurance every stinking day and it's never enough. He still thinks I'm too slow and too fat and that I'm not even trying."

Kakashi coughed and looked away over to the left. His lack of eye contact read to Tori as though he just didn't care what was being said. That stabbed into her with as much force as the screaming of her nerve endings. It broke the last hold on Tori's temper. Now, Victoria knew she was far from perfect, but she had spent a great deal of life consciously trying to be a better, kinder, more patient person. Those efforts kinda flew away when she was too tired or in a great deal of pain. That moment she was in more pain than she had ever, ever experienced in her whole life and she had spent the last four days putting up with the fighting and the glares and the ignore-your-total-existence, and Tori just couldn't take it anymore. She began to spew forth a torrent of words that had bottled up all her anger and hurt.

"I've been trying, Hatake! I've been trying harder over the last four days than I ever have at anything in my whole stupid life and it's been _agony_. My legs and feet have been on fire. There's so much blood and pus in my shoes at this point, my socks rip coming out of them. My knees are about to give out cuz maybe you just had to walk up and down those hills, but I did it carrying two hundred pounds of fat my bones had never been designed to carry! I can't breathe enough to speak half the time cuz I'm so focused on keeping up with you and you begrudge every single break and stop. Guess what? I'm bloody human! I'm not some robot, magic ninja who can just throw away my feelings and everyone else for the mission!"

Victoria was practically screaming at him now but the pain of everything had been building up inside her like a volcano and she honestly didn't want to stop it. He needed to know how much his words hurt, and she wanted her words to hurt him right back. "No wonder you don't care if Rin died or not. Obviously the only pain that matters to you is your own. I have had broken ribs this entire time and you were too self-absorbed to notice! You grumble and you roll your eyes and you dismiss everything I've done because it's not as much as what you could have done."

Sam looked sharply at Kakashi, feeling just a little bad for the kid. He _had_ been trying to be respectful of what Sam had said, from what she could tell; even if his facial expressions (what little they could see) were harder to express.

The young shinobi finally spoke up, his voice cold and hard: a glacier of anger to counteract the fiery violence of Tori's own rage. " _You_ are the one that put her life at risk. Not me. You were an unprepared idiot that set the enemy nin on high alert, forced them to use deadly force, and ultimately ruined any opportunity for us to gather defensive information. If Minato-Sensei hadn't arrived when he did, all six of you would have wound up dead."

"Well, you know what?" Victoria retorted, "I was prepared to die in that canyon for the chance that it would slow the bad guys down enough for you to find her. I knew there was no chance of me winning. No chance. And I didn't care. I thought that the very best that I could do, even if it was pitiful to you, was worth it."

"You can throw away your own life if you want, but that's not fair to Uhei and Akino and Rin!" he shouted right back.

"I'm sorry your dogs got hurt, but they made their own choice to fight," Tori countered.

"They wouldn't have had to fight at all if you'd stayed out of it!"

"I. Couldn't. Stay. Out. Of. It." Tori growled out slowly. "Maybe you are okay with all your friends dying because you care more about your job and your mission success rate, but I don't give a freaking flip about that."

"Tori-" Sam began, but bit her lip in her unsurity. Considering everything that Rin and Obito had said earlier about their comrade, Samantha was sure that there was more trust than they could possibly imagine. Otherwise Minato would never had made them a team in the first place. Kakashi needed to open his heart more - let people in, but he did his best to fight off enemies.

"The right thing to do was to help," Tori declared with perfect certainty. "Anything else would have been cowardly."

"I don't agree."

"Fine! Don't agree! But you don't freaking get to say that I'm an idiot for helping Rin, and you don't get to say that I'm not trying! I'm done with letting you slide anymore. If you demand I respect you like an adult, then I demand you at least respect me as a human that shares the same planet as you."

"She's got a point there…" Sam said quietly, "Even being civilians, we deserve respect. _Especially_ since we're quite older than you."

"Especially since you know better," Tori added sharply, but with a great deal less anger. Letting all of it out had felt both good and awful: like vomiting when you have a stomachache. "We've respected everything you asked of us after all, including calling you by your surname. You don't even call me by any name."

Young Kakashi looked faintly startled by being called out on that, but then he gave a tiny shrug. "You did not want me to call you by either name you said," he pointed out, his voice definitely softening in the wake of Tori's declining anger. "What else was I to do?"

"Victoria-San is fine," she offered, one hand reaching out to steady herself against a tree. By this point, she was surprised that Sam hadn't dropped her, Tori certainly wasn't doing great at holding herself up. Only the fast-pumping of her blood as she was yelling at Kakashi had kept her from collapsing, probably. "Or Tori or -Chan, or whatever. I really don't care, but I don't want to be just 'you' anymore."

"A little less degrading that way," Sam offered, a hint of a smile on her face.

Kakashi started to nod and then suddenly his entire posture changed to one of concentration and defense. He tilted his head as though to look over their shoulders. "Wait here," he commanded. And then he was gone in a puff of smoke.

Victoria's knees gave out and she slithered to the ground, falling more or less at the base of the tree she had been leaning on. "Oh, heavens, that was horrible," she mumbled.

"Yeah… just a little bit," Sam gave a tiny smirk, her pointer finger and thumb nearly colliding to show just how awkward the whole thing had been.

"I-I know..." Tori said, closing her eyes and groaning - half in pain, half in embarrassment. "Good glory, I screamed at a kid."

"Yup," Sam full-blown smirked this time.

"But -but he was just being so mean. So mean. I couldn't take it anymore. And I hurt. I hurt so, so bad, Sam, and it all just came bubbling out at once. I didn't mean to. I really didn't mean to..."

Sam hissed dramatically, "Well, we shall see what Kakashi does in the future, eh?"

"An' I yelled at you.." Tori mumbled even as she sunk lower and lower down to the ground. "An' I was mean. Oh, I was so mean. I should yell at me."

"Nah, I think we've had enough of yells for at least a year. Maybe ten." Sam stated bluntly.

Tori winced a little at that. "Okay..." she whispered, plenty of self-castigation in her voice.

Samantha patted Tori's head, in a way that would express that they were still friends. Sam still loved her silly, somewhat over-dramatic friend, and that everything would be fine with time.

As Tori mentally reviewed the conversation and tried to block out the thundering pain throughout her head and everything else, they could hear the sound of voices coming through the trees - Obito's adolescent declarations carrying to them faster than anything else.

"Yep, we got it done in record time," Obito boasted. "It helps that Sannin Jiraiya is always pretty easy to find, you just gotta look for the naughtiest place to be and boom! Mission accomplished."

There was a response from Rin, but they were slightly too far away to make it out clearly. Tori used the few minutes' warning to scrub her face clean with the sleeve of her rather ragged tunic. She took several slow, shaky breaths trying to refocus herself.

"How are our guests, Kakashi? Are they ready to travel?" Minato-Sensei asked, his musically clear voice much easier to make out than Rin. Kakashi's response was definitely quiet, he knew how far away they were and must not have wanted whatever he said to be audible to Sam and Victoria. "I see." Minato's heavenly voice was clearly laced by concern. "Thank you for your efforts today, Kakashi."

As Tori and Sam waited for the squad to make it to them, Pakkun quietly crept back out of the bushes and came over to cautiously cuddle up against Sam's ankle. He gave the woman's ankle a small lick.

Sam's features softened as she felt the lick. Kneeling down, she scratched behind the pup's ears. "Don't worry, Pakkun. It's all good now." _Well, almost._ But Sam figured it was best to help the pup feel better rather than worry him more.

His stump of a tail gave a cautious wag.

The squad came around the corner. Rin, seeing Tori on the ground rushed forward and began to ask lots of questions about how many food pills she had eaten and how much sleep she'd had, under that babbling, Minato approached Samantha and offered her his hand to stand up. "While Rin looks over Victoria-San, let's make some plans."

Sam's heart skipped a beat _holy-Sexy-Beast!_ It wasn't like Sam _meant_ to let her heart go wild, but Minato was just so… so…. _Holy hannah he's just unfairly hot._ Her thoughts happened within a split second, and then Samantha was taking his warm, calloused hand in hers and quickly stood. "Plans?" She asked.

Minato gave a small nod. He then drew Samantha over to the other side of the tiny road. His ocean-blue eyes gazed thoughtfully down at Samantha. "Will you remind me once again, Samantha-San, why you and Victoria-San are trying to reach Konoha?"

Samantha blinked, her brain going a million miles a minute. _Uh… I can't remember if we've ever talked about why we're going to Konoha or not!_ It could potentially have been a problem, but because Victoria was so good at coming up with something on the fly, Samantha opted for something which, she felt, was a completely rational thought, "For help." _Help to get back home, anyway._

"You have a mission of some kind you want to hire for?" he asked, trying to clarify.

 _Hallelujah the sexy beast coming to the rescue!_ Sam cheered, smiling brightly at the Yellow Flash of Konoha, "Yes, that's exactly right."

He gave a nod of understanding. "Is your mission immediate?" he asked. "Or would a delay be allowable?"

Sam contemplated the Jōnin's question, trying to decipher what it meant, but unable to come up with Minato's reasonings, "Well, immediate is more what we're looking at here.." Sam's smile dimmed just a bit. She really hoped she wasn't screwing up their opportunity to travel to Konoha with the team. Ironic, she knew.

The Yellow Flash nodded again. "I understand. Very well. We will need to head out soon, then, to take advantage of what little daylight remains while we can." He gestured that they should rejoin the others. There was a small blur and then three Minatos stood ranged along the road. Two of them went over to where Rin had finished scolding Victoria and had forced her to take another two food pills along with a whole canteen of water. Minato with his unhealthily gorgeous face - now in triplicate - leaned down and explained. "For the safety of the squad and you and Samantha-San, we need to keep moving. Rin, you are our medical-support. Will it be safe for us to go forward if I carry Victoria-San?"

Rin gave a firm nod. "Yes, Sensei."

"Do you believe she will have the arm strength to hold on with a traditional carry?"

Rin thought about that a little more. "For a few hours, that should be okay."

He gave his teammate a faint smile and a respectful nod. It was really quite impressive how humble Minato Namikaze was. He had the speed and strength and precision to be considered the very best ninja in all of Konoha - and possibly any ruling state just then. For heaven's sake, in his future, he would at one point take out one thousand combatants at once! Single-handedly ending the third shinobi war! Yet, he treated little Rin with the respect due an expert medical nin and not a tiny genin just out of graduation. He treated all of his squad that way. He turned back to Victoria. "My shadow-clone and I will help you to stand and then the clone will carry you so that you can continue to regain your strength."

Tori's ears burned, but she had to be certain, so she very softly asked, "Are you sure I'm not too heavy for that?" Victoria had the memory, after all, of being carried by Mitsuki, but that kid was literally some strange shinobi version of a golem - and it had only been for like ten minutes, not several hours and days.

He gave a small nod. "I promise it will be well."

"Then we can get you to the Konoha hospital," Rin pointed out earnestly. "And make sure that all your injuries are healing correctly."

While Minato and Clone One helped Tori up and onto the first clone's back, the second clone gave Samantha a small smile. "Do you have everything you need? I will be carrying you for the next portion of our journey."

Samantha hesitated. Not that she didn't mind the attention from a super gorgeous ninja, but she wasn't the kind of gal who liked being carried. Even though it'd happened already, she still felt awkward about it. She shuffled about, before responding with her own ears burning, "Um, I'm fine for now, thanks."

Minato's clone gave a very soft, husky laugh in that sexy, sexy voice of his. "Samantha-San, I'm afraid you won't be able to keep up with us unless I carry you. We are going to travel as the shinobi does."

"Uh-" Sam's face burned an even brighter red than her ears. She hadn't intended _that_ to be the message that came across, even if it were exactly how she was feeling about the whole thing. Either way, she conceded, "I… I… alrighty, then." Her voice nearly squealed and her stomach flopped. Part embarrassment, and part _holy friggin' moly I can't handle it he's so hot!_ sort of way.

"Do you have all your gear?" he repeated, and at her red-faced nod, he gave a small smile. "Let's go then." And he turned and knelt down for Sam to climb on his back. That… that began the most emotionally confusing hours of Sam's life. Firstly, it's not exactly easy to relax when someone's giving you a piggyback ride. Oh sure, all the adorable k-dramas made it look like the most comfortable thing ever, but usually the girls being carried in those are drunk and so totally okay with just full on mashing themselves up against the man's back… Sam was not quite feeling that confident yet, thank you! But even without her leaning up against him, there was a definite and unavoidable intimacy going on with her legs wrapped around his waist and Minato's warm, muscular arms supporting them. His hands gently cupping the insides of her knee was the most distracting thing in the universe. It even distracted Sam from remembering how to breathe! And oh, how she needed to be able to breathe… breathe in the warm, musky scent of his skin. Sam had never really noticed just how closely your face must be to a person's neck when they gave you a piggy-back. If she wanted to, she could have tilted her chin just slightly and been near enough to lick Minato's ear…. _Not that I would! But holy moly his face is so close to mine!_

With how quickly the trees of the forest shot past Sam's vision, it was easy to find an excuse for how dizzy she felt… an excuse besides the fact that the silken, golden strands of Minato's hair kept brushing and teasing against the side of Sam's cheek. Occasionally, the clone who carried her would call back a warning or a message to the rest of the quick-moving squad and the low, masculine rumble of his voice seemed to shake through Sam's whole body. Especially since her forearms were wrapped around his neck and she could feel the muscles vibrating there... It was torture. Beautiful, horrible torture.

And they were going to have three days of it.

As the sun finished falling behind the horizon, the shinobi squad grew closer together, following the faint glow of a fireball someone was keeping lit. Finally, though, they had to call a stop - no one had really gotten a full night's sleep the day before, after all. They all quietly but efficiently made a campsite. Sam - with Obito's help - began to find and unseal the sleeping bags and pillows, and enough food to get them all a snack before sleep. Rin and Obito - who had used the least chakra over the course of the day were assigned the first watch. Victoria had fallen asleep on the clone's back for a good deal of the trip, was still half-asleep as she crawled into her very dirty, but thankfully warm sleeping bag. A small, warm body curled up next to her shoulder with a doggy sigh. "Puppy-Kun," Tori greeted sleepily. "Snuggling's good." With more effort than she should have needed, Victoria managed to get her arm out from under herself and up to gently scratch behind Pakkun's ears. "It's a long day. You did good." Pakkun huffed happily, accepting the praise and the scratches. "Sam did good. Kakashi good. Tori not good. Tori was mean." Another huge yawn interrupted her. "I need to tell Kakashi I'm sorry," she mumbled to the puppy, "I know he's trying. I just miss him. Miss Hotness." She dozed back off for a moment: a good thing since in her sleepiness she might have accidentally revealed the odd truth that she knew Kakashi from the future. Instead, anything that might be overheard could be considered sleep-deprived nonsense. "Hotness wouldn't say I walked like a grandma," she suddenly said, rolling her head to the other side of the flat travelling pillow. "But I do...Grandma Tori..." There was a soft clicking sound and Pak-kun hopped off Tori's pillow, obediently trotting away to another nearby sleeping bag. "Cat lady already. Only a matter of time."

"Oba-chan, you should get some sleep. You're talking nonsense."

"...Okay….." Tori mumbled compliantly. "Night, Mom. Love you."

Across the campfire, Sam held back a smile as she saw tiny Kakashi grimace and shake his head when Victoria called him 'Mom.' _Tori must not be feeling good at all if she's so delirious to be calling_ Kakashi ' _Mom'._ Sam snuggled into her own sleeping bag for the night, thinking back on the events of the day. She really hoped that Tori wasn't mad at her. She was only trying to help. She'd never imagined her tries as being seen as going behind her friend's back. Hopefully, she could make it up to Victoria.

It was a harsh pace the shinobi kept themselves to, but their mission had already gone on for four days longer than expected and the intel they carried was needed at home soon. Victoria didn't know how Minato managed to keep up with his multiple clones - although they weren't constantly on. There would be a few hours every day when they would just walk for a while to rebuild the chakra they needed to do the fancy leaping run thing through the trees. At those times, Minato would dismiss the clones and carry Victoria himself while Sam kept up with their still very quick pace. Other times he'd make just one clone to carry Sam and rely on Kakashi and Obito to run as point and rear. Victoria wished she could say the several days being carried helped, but honestly just having to hold on took all of the little strength she had and as the massive gates came in sight, she still felt as weak and helpless as a baby. At least she and Kakashi had seemingly settled on mutually polite ground. (Although she didn't quite understand the Oba-chan thing, she was okay 'cause at least she had a name now. She had a vague memory of Boruto saying it to Lady Tsunade so it must have been some sort of term of respect, right?)

Unlike the first time they had crossed into Konoha, Sam and Tori did not have the luxury of just waltzing in behind a wagon of chickens. The guards were clearly much more wary and the huge gates were closed and barred. Only a narrow passageway was free and there were at least three obvious checkpoints leading up to the gate. (Sam was pretty sure there had been more than that. Minato's occasional whistle or Rin's bird call had not seemed accidental.) Victoria blushed when the second shinobi on duty raised an eyebrow at her for having retained her perch on the back of the legendary Yellow Flash. Her earlier offers to walk into the village on her own had been kindly rebuffed by Minato and seconded by Rin.

"We are retaining these civilians in protective custody," Minato assured the second guard who was doing some sort of chakra verification of Obito and Kakashi's forehead protectors. "I'll be back with all of the paperwork by the end of the day."

"See that you are," the guardswoman declared, still watching Samantha suspiciously. "The safety of our people is in each of our care."

Samantha walked closely behind Minato, even if it was unnecessary. The looks the guards were giving Sam made her feel wary; so, she simply gave a tiny nod and stuck close. She was pretty sure she could feel Kakashi rolling his eyes at her. In any case, Samantha waited for a good minute before she asked her question. "So… are we headed to the hospital then?" Honestly, all Sam wanted to do was sit. For days. Doing nothing. She wished she could watch T.V., but sadly there was no Netflix here in Konoha. _I wonder if they have the equivalent? Nah, probably not until Boruto's time_. Either way, Samantha was so exhausted and her body ached. Hopefully, while thinking about Tori, they were thinking about her ability to continue forward as well.

"Yes, most of us will," Minato assured her quickly before turning his focus over to his squad members. "Obito, Kakashi, I am entrusting you to take the package from Sannin Jiraiya to the Hokage Tower. Unless you are needed elsewhere right away, please come check back with me. Rin will help me take these two to the hospital."

Obito's chest puffed up with pride as he nodded firmly. "Yes, Sensei!" he practically shouted.

Kakashi, much more quietly, repeated the same. And then he gave Obito a little 'you idiot' kind of a glare. Rin held out a scroll to Kakashi who took it and poofed halfway down the street. Obito squawked "Hey! Wait! No fair!" and ran after him.

Victoria squeaked her own dismay. "Hey! That was ours!" she objected. "Hatake just took our stuff!"

Rin laughed brightly. "Oh, no, Tori-Chan," she assured, "That was the right scroll. Sam has yours, remember?"

"But… but it looked the exact same," Tori protested weakly.

To reassure Victoria, Samantha patted down the pocket she had the scroll, before 'magically' pulling it out. "Ta-da!" Sam proclaimed, offering the precious scroll to her friend. "See? They didn't take ours. Maybe it's just a scroll thing to look so similar?"

"Obito's scroll looked different," Tori reminded Sam with a frown. "And so did the one that Shikadai used when he taught us to seal." Something about the tension in Minato's shoulders seemed to change slightly - Tori only noticed because she was still piggy-backing - but it reminded her that they were still under suspicion. "We really should have asked more questions before we left our village. I feel so unprepared not knowing things like this." A gentle, casual remark about their supposed cultish upbringing seemed to be the right evasion tactic, along with the tone of weary confusion in Victoria's voice.

Samantha rose an eyebrow at Tori's fear. It was certainly a legitimate cause for concern, especially considering they weren't from Konoha… "Okay then," Sam took the scroll back from Tori, "Did you want me to open it and show you that they didn't take our stuff?" Samantha placed her fingers at the tip, ready to unscroll the, well, scroll.

"No, I'm..sure you're right," Tori assured with a sigh. "It just surprised me. But, hey, maybe our friends go to the same scroll place as the Sannin person does. I'm sure there's only so many manufacturers of sealing scrolls, right?"

"Right," Rin agreed helpfully. "And if it makes you feel better, it confused me the first time we saw _your_ scroll. I think for a second, some of us thought you had stolen it from Sannin Jiraiya!" She laughed at the thought, but Victoria shot Sam a look of sudden understanding.

 _Freaking Boruto!_ _It's like he's trying to kill us_ , Tori mentally sighed.

"Wow… I never thought to think what it must've looked like on _your_ side," Sam marveled. She wondered if, perhaps, there were actually multiple manufacturers with different logos and the like, but that, because they'd gotten their scroll from Konoha, of _course_ it'd be the same as what they used in this time. Whatever the reason, Samantha was glad the issue was resolved. But it did make her curious as to whether or not they had their scroll. She determined to look at the scroll when they were no longer surrounded by ninja. "So..." Sam drawled, feeling a need to break the odd tension. "Who is this Sannin Jiraiya you keep mentioning?"

* * *

The craziness of checking in and being examined seemed to take forever, but finally Victoria was allowed to lie down on a bed (a real bed!) and sleep for a good long time. Sam was allowed in the same room. Or rather, she was strongly discouraged by the presence of the armed guards outside from attempting to go anywhere else. That was okay though! There was a couch and snacks and she finally got the chance to unseal the drawing books that Boruto had gotten them. She also got to watch some strange game show on the room's television too. It was weird, but kind of remind her of some odd mashup of Jeopardy and American Ninja Warrior. Right about the time her stomach started growling for real food, a nurse entered with two trays and Victoria groggily awoke to take her pain meds.

"Is that food?" Tori asked Sam hopefully. "Am I trusted with real food yet?" Four days of only the weird energy-balls that ninjas called food pills might have kept her alive, but at this point, she was feeling more like she had a bad flu rather than being dead and the thought of eating something solid and real was the only thing keeping her from wanting to just go right back to sleep.

Samantha's stomach growled at the sight of the food, and she couldn't help but lick her lips, "Yeah, I think that it is." The nurse smiled at them, telling Victoria to eat slowly, otherwise it could upset her stomach too much, and then left the room with knowledge that the girls could contact her if needed. It was oddly similar to hospitals in their world - which Sam wasn't sure why she was so surprised by this fact. Either way, she looked at her food (a mix of sushi, rice, and steamed veggies) and had to make sure that she, too, ate slowly. Because of how quickly Minato and his team had traveled with she and Tori on their backs, everyone ate the food pills.

"For hospital food, this is surprisingly good." Sam muttered through one of her bites of sushi. She could have laughed at Tori's grimace at her own plate of food.

"Can I switch you my sushi for your rice?" Tori asked with her best puppy-dog-eyes. "Pwease?"

Samantha paused, debating whether or not she wanted to give it up: rice was one of her favorite foods after all, but in the end, gave in to Tori's wants. "Alright, Tor." Sam grinned widely, "I like sushi, so that's fine!" and they made the switch. Sam munched slowly, contemplating their situation. "So, what now? Do you suppose?"

"What now, indeed?" Came a gruff voice. Samantha whipped her head towards the door, too in shock to speak. The Hokage: Sarutobi Hiruzen, was standing beneath the archway, the light behind him cascading him in darkness. It was almost comic book worthy, this entrance. Samantha would have exclaimed "of course!" or some such nonsense if she wasn't stunned to silence. Her first thought was _Crap crap crap! How long was he listening? Did we say anything he'd be suspicious of? Crap, I can't remember!_ And her second thought, vague though it was, was _Wait, so, did he know who we are in their future? What!?_

Tori blinked. And then she looked over to Sam with a question in her eyes. In a soft voice she murmured, "The mushroom hat, that means hokage, right?" The guy did look familiar, but only very vaguely. Apparently the next sixteen or so years would do a great, great deal to age the man.

Samantha simply nodded, her eyes wide. The Hokage smiled softly, before walking forward into the hospital room, arms behind his back, his hokage robes swishing and swaying as he did so. He came to a quick stop, looking at both Samantha and Victoria. "I hear I owe you two a debt of gratitude."

"You do?" Tori asked, feeling a little confused. But, she was pretty sleepy still. She set down her chopsticks and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up more. "I don't think we know you, sir."

Sarutobi rose an eyebrow, a twinkle of amusement filtering his gaze. "No you do not, but I know of you. You two saved one of my shinobi. For this, I thank you." He nodded his bow of gratitude.

"Uh… you're welcome. Though… it was Tori who did most of the work…" Sam rubbed the back of her neck, her ears tinting red.

Tori's hands fluttered, almost like Rin did, uncertain how to respond. "Sam and the nindogs saved my life. I only delayed things a little." _I think..._ The memories were still too big and icky and she had been content to keep them in the 'hazy idea of what happened' box for awhile yet.

"Indeed, I've gotten most of what happened from Minato's team. Including," Sarutobi continued as he noticed Sam's motion of almost interruption, "From Kakashi-San's dog summonings. Namikaze-san also said that you two were needing to speak to me?"

Sam knitted her eyebrows, "Well, yes, but… I guess I imagined it happening at the Hokage building…"

"That is the more conventional means of speaking with me, yes." Hiruzen agreed, the small play of a smile still gracing his lips.

It took Tori a moment, but then she realized that this was when they were expected to explain who they were and what they needed in Konoha. She mentally flipped back through her week's ponderings to what she had felt would be the most practical and yet logical explanation. "Um, Sir, are you who we would talk to about arranging a mission from the Konoha shinobi? I mean - if-if that's okay. I know things are probably pretty crazy for you all right now what with the… with the war."

Sarutobi contemplated Victoria's question for a moment, seemingly staring deep into her soul, "Namikaze-san did tell me of your rather… unique background. Very well." The leader of the village strode to stand directly in front of the two ladies, knees barely gracing the end of the bed frame. "My name is Hiruzen Sarutobi: Third Hokage of the Leaf village."

Tori raised her hand in their trademark little wave. "I'm Victoria, and this is Samantha. We are from a very tiny community that calls its land Jordan City." Dropping her hand, she looked at Sam, in a way that looked like she was asking permission to share their mission, but in reality was her trying to prepare Sam to keep a straight face while Tori delivered her whopper of a fake-xplanation. "Lord Hokage, we are on a quest of sorts of our own and we have good reason to hope that Konoha can help us find what we are looking for. You see, in the place we were raised there used to be two clans that shared equally everything they had. My clan, the Lexington clan, and Sam's clan: the Winters. They united because while the Winters are expert at stealth sorts of things, the Lexingtons are skilled in coding and cryptography - the two could benefit each other."

Samantha blinked in awe _How was Tor able to come up with such a fanatical lie? Good grief!_ Victoria continued on.

"Our great great grandparents founded the community but there was a big falling out between them around the time our parents were born. My great great grandpa stole away a very important codex that both clans used to encrypt super important secrets. The theft of it meant that the community turned on my family. The Winters hate us now but kept us because they needed our codes, they kept us but as basically second-class citizens." Tori gave her friend a hapless smile. "Except Sam. She is beyond awesome for not being a jerk like her grandma."

A small smile of embarrassment made its way on Sam's face, "Yes, well, I had an awesome dad who kinda... well… rebelled against my grandma when he was young. At least, in his beliefs…" Hopefully, though Samantha was unable to look the Hokage in the eyes, he considered that her bashfulness at talking about something "personal".

Sarutobi Hiruzen watched intensely, his expression giving away nothing about his thoughts. "Namikaze-San told me that where you're from is considered a cult? How did this come to be? Why is it that I have never heard of your clans before? Even in the warring days before the Hokage's came to be?"

"Well, we do live very, very far from here, out in the west in a small mountain range. During the chaos of the first great war -" (Yes, Tori had been listening to that history lesson!) "-The clans did everything they could to wipe the history of themselves out. Changed their names, everything, and hid as much as they could. At least… that's what we were told, growing up." Victoria took a slow sip of her water and explained. "Honestly, I don't know how much of the history we were raised on is true. Sam and I both know that a lot of what we 'learned' growing up isn't real. Like, they told us that chakra use was a sacred gift from the gods that only Lady Winters could bestow, yada-yada. It wasn't until we were adults that we even knew it was possible for us to access and use our own. We're still just novices at it, really. And they forbid certain books or even studying about other lands and nations. It's… it really left us unprepared for life outside and that's how they forced people to stay. It's awful. But," she shrugged, "I guess that's what happens when you're being ruled over by a power-hungry despot." She grimaced at Sam for the insult to her grandmother. "Sorry, Sam."

Samantha gave Tori an amused eyebrow, before shrugging, "Eh? Well, it's kinda true."

"Anyway, Sam and I, we want to mend the rift between our clans, because honestly it's gotten really scary. LIke...the amount of rules that Lady Winters has started to put on everyone has twisted things into this crazy cult-like thing, that everyone just accepts. Then last spring it got so bad that - ...Well, long story short, cuz I'm sure you don't need our whole crazy family history, but suffice it to say, Sam and I had to get out of there. But we can't just leave our families to suffer like that. So we've given ourselves a mission: we are trying to help restore my clan back to its original equal standing so we can get Sam's evil grandmother out of power and then help our families see reason. Cuz, yeah, they're all totally committed and tied up in the weirdness of it all and can't see how unhealthy everything is."

"Yeah… it sucks being in the midst of it…" Sam muttered, twiddling her fingers. There was silence for a minute, before she looked up and saw both Tori and the Hokage staring at her. Sam fidgeted, and cleared her throat, "Anyway… go on." She ushered to Tori.

"So, our plan is to track down the codex," Victoria continued. "Before he died, my great-great grandfather told my uncle that he didn't just destroy it, but that actually he tore it into pieces and then claimed he scattered it all over the continent: hiding it in the village and with friends in other clans.. He bragged that he even in latter years he snuck pieces into the protected libraries of the great ninja villages. But... we aren't sure how much of what he said is true. I've only ever seen one piece of it before that my uncle kept. But the fact that he even had it must mean that at least some of the codex still exists! And if we could gather enough of it to return home, then maybe we could rebuild the rest of it and bring equality back to our two clans!"

The Hokage contemplated Tori's words for a good minute or so, before he began towards the window, "So, you believe that a piece of this codex is here in the Leaf village?" Sarutobi turned to look at the two ladies with a raised eyebrow.

"Um, well, yeah…" Sam answered, rather un-eloquently.

"It's the very best lead we've got," Victoria confirmed. "My uncle told us that Great-Great Grandfather had mentioned Konoha by name as a place he had hidden one of the fragments." She snatched up a soggy carrot from her forgotten dinner. She gave Sam a little wink and a hopeful smile. _Good job, Tor-Tor,_ she praised herself, _Looks like it might be just reasonable enough and yet ridiculous enough to not sound like someone would have bothered to make it up. Wooot._

"Interesting," Was all that the Third Hokage said before he smiled at them, "Well, thank you for chatting with me. I shall let you know my decision within a days time. I'll send Namikzae-San to inform you when the time has come." He then turned towards the door, and it was with some astonishment to Sam (yet, she wasn't sure why she didn't suspect that in the first place) when an Anbu member appeared from seemingly out of nowhere, pulling the hospital door open, and following his (Sam assumed the anbu was male, based on his body shape) leader out the door.

Samantha blinked at the door, then once over at Victoria, before turning to her sushi and plopping another piece in her mouth as she spoke, "Well… do you think he'll let us stay?"

Tori was squinting at the ceiling tiles above the door. "Where do you think that second one came from?" she asked suspiciously. "They better not be peeking in on me in the bathroom too… creepers."

"Well... they _are_ anbu members. They're meant to watch people whom they don't know anything about." Sam pointed out. "Did I not tell you about them, before? I swear I have… Kakashi was one, once. Or… will be…" Sam's brow scrunched, "Man, that's confusing."

"Even more confusing for someone to overhear," Tori pointed out lightly. _Apparently we're back to the no-privacy-ever thing. Man, maybe it was easier to live in the theoretical cult!_ "And… I don't know. What's our backup plan if they just kick us out? Wander the woods and hope we find a different piece? We know there's a possibility Pervy-Sage has one, right? Maybe we could go find him instead."

"Hm," Sam frowned, "Pervy-Sage _might_ have one, but… he might not. After all… you know… And if they kick us out? Well… I guess we'd talk to Boruto at that point, no?" Taking the last bite of sushi, Samantha stared contemplatively at the ceiling. She leaned back against the chair she was in, propping her legs on the edge of Tori's bed.

"Yep..." Tori agreed. "Uncle Boruto."

"Right…" Sam nearly prolonged the word, squinting her eyes at the thought, " _Uncle_ Boruto."

"Eh. When your grandma threatened to disown you, Sam, I basically adopted you. You can call him uncle too." Tori's unwavering chill and confidence in delivering these whoppers was both disturbing and impressive. _Really gotta make sure I don't turn evil. Sith Lord Tori...too easy to imagine, really._ Tori pushed up her glasses and sighed. "Is it sad that just eating made me tired all ready? This rebuilding chakra thing is no joke."

It was taking Samantha a lot longer to get her brain to function on the 'cover story' synopsis. She contemplated everything that Victoria had covered _Man… I'm_ definitely _gonna need her to repeat everything she told the Hokage. That was a_ lot _. Holy moly._ "I know… you keep telling me that I can. It's just weird when I knew him _before_ I knew him as 'Uncle Boruto', ya know?" _Not to mention we're like… fifteen years older than him!_

"Yep, I know. The last few weeks have been… a _lot_ to process. Some days it doesn't even feel real." Tori yawned and poked her chopsticks at a sad looking piece of cauliflower. "I… I hope they let us stay. At least long enough to let us both recover a bit. Make a plan for how to get this whole crazy thing figured out. Still don't understand why Uncle Boruto didn't just do this himself." Tori figured as long as it sounded to any invisible ears like they were talking about their supposed cult-uncle, then they could get away with talking through and making plans for how to actually find the scraps of mysterious parchment that real future Boruto had insisted they needed to find. Tori slowly looked over at Sam. "Some time you'll have to tell me what it was he told you before we left..."

"What he told me before-?" Samantha repeated, confused; but just as quickly it dawned on her that Tor was talking about when Boruto pulled her to the side, before they came here, to this past. "Oh, right. Yeah. Eventually, I will." She said. All things considered, what Boruto spoke to her about wasn't something she wanted to spill to eager ears in the shadows. Samantha then yawned and stretched, "Man… I need sleep. You should probably get some rest too." She smirked and gestured to Victoria's droopy eyes, "Otherwise you might fall dead asleep sitting up."

Victoria playfully narrowed her eyes at Sam. "...I can sleep sitting up. Totally. I'm super powerful like that. All the ninjas should be scared of my impressive sleeping skills."

Samantha snorted, "Nah, it's easy. I've done it too. But definitely makes your head roll!" Sam looked around the hospital room, "Do you think I'm gonna get my own bed or do I actually have to sleep on the couch?" She looked unsatisfactorily at the less-than-comfy-how-dare-it-deceive-us couch with its wooden arms, and stiff backrest. It had cushions, but they were more scratchy than anything. "Maybe I should ask someone? Hail them down, or something! Hah!" Samantha giggle at the thought of flagging someone down to ask them where she should sleep. Definitely the weirdest situation she'd ever been in. "And anyway, how are you _not_ asleep, already?"

Tori gave a sleepy shrug. "Magic." She then wiggled all the way up against one of the hospital bed rails. "Look. Little skinny Sam spot if she needs it." Then she yawned fiercely. "Or I can take the couch for ya. I'm so sleepy I won't notice if its uncomfy."

At just that moment, the door to their assigned room banged open and displayed a widely grinning Obito and slightly anxious Rin. "See, Rin! I told you they'd be awake!" Obito announced loudly, already stomping his way into the room.

"Obito? Rin?" Samantha blinked, "What're you doing here?"

Rin smiled hopefully at both of them. "We wanted to come see that you were okay," she explained. In her arms, she carried a vase with some beautiful - if a bit scraggly - roses. They were probably the last ones still blooming. Autumn appeared to have been coming on fast. In just the three days it had taken Team Minato to return home the trees had already all started to turn red and yellow. "We came as soon as we'd finished our mission reports," Rin explained as she set the roses down on a table near the window. "Kakashi was still reporting...But he might still come!"

"I doubt it," Victoria said softly, but she gave Rin and Obito a warm smile. "We are glad to see you guys, though! Those flowers are beautiful."

"Yeah they are!" Sam agreed, "It's sweet of you both to come say hi. I'm sure you probably have other things you could do,"

"Nah," Obito proclaimed, his hands resting behind his head, "Since we just got back from our mission, we've got some time to kill before the next one."

"You've already been assigned another mission?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Geez, no! You're kidding right? If we had another mission assigned, we'd be prepping to leave right away!"

"Right… that makes sense…" _Man, I must be tired if I can't even remember how shinobi systems work_ Sam mused, watching as Rin set the roses down.

"You shinobi work very hard," Tori observed, patting the bed absently as an invite for either of the kids to sit if they needed. "When I was your age, all I did all day was read and go to school. I can't even imagine putting in all the time and effort you guys must have to do to stay trained and go on missions and stuff."

"Seriously," Sam agreed, "It would take a lot of self-motivation and bravery to want to do what y'all do while being so young." Rin had taken up Victoria's offer to sit on the bed, while Obito seemed to take the more "manly" approach and continue standing. But seeing as he was more than occupied with shuffling around the room, Sam didn't bother to say anything more about it.

"Bravery?" Obito repeated, then grinned widely, "Of course it takes bravery! Especially since I'm gonna be Hokage one day! Can't wimp out on all the villagers, when I'm gonna be protecting them some day." He struck a Peter Pan pose, as if to emphasize his 'awesomeness'. Not that Obito knew what kind of pose he struck in the first place. Even so, Samantha smiled fondly at the image, and felt, also, a little disturbed. _Really… I don't think I had such high ambitions when I was his age. Let alone fight an actual enemy!_ She had to wonder the sanity of Lord Third Hokage. Of course… Samantha knew that the Hokage only sent shinobi out on missions appropriate to their status, but still. If he was willing to promote a nine-year-old to chunin, then what was to say he wouldn't be willing to give more dangerous missions? It was this thought that Samantha could agree with Tori, at least a little bit, about whether or not it was good to assign _kids_ on such missions where they could _die._ It was a terrible thought and it left her feeling saddened, and with a pang of desire to become better at her own fighting skills. Then she'd no longer be useless on the battlefield. Wouldn't freeze up like she had previously.

"So, how did you end up deciding to become a shinobi?" Samantha asked the two ninja. Rin looked as if she was about to answer before Obito beat her to the punch.

"I'm an Uchiha!" He stated proudly, "It's in my blood to be a shinobi! You'll see! Once I get my eyes, I'll be even more awesome!"

"My parents are medical ninja. Sort of. They treat the ninken, at least. But watching them come home all bandaged up after being hurt… I knew that I wanted to protect my friends from that danger too," said Rin, softly, her hands motionless in her lap. Her small smile seemed to say more than she was willing to outloud, but Samantha figured she wouldn't pry.

"Me too!" Obito spoke up, quickly, "To be a shinobi means to protect your friends! They come first- even if that Bakakashi thinks that following stupid rules are what's most important… he's wrong," The last muttered utterance did not go unnoticd, and Samantha sorely wished that she could warn him of his future. Not that he was going to die but… to not be brainwashed by some fanatic with their own agenda and not an ounce of care for his well-being in mind.

"But, true honor is about protecting more than just your friends, isn't it Obito?" Victoria prompted, unconsciously switching to her 'gentle teaching voice' that she used to help her little siblings resolve fights between each other. "The greatest bravery is being willing to help and protect everyone from danger. Even if someone seems to hate you or they are angry or unwilling to accept your help. If you know that they are someone you are called to protect, you should be willing to do anything for them, right?"

Obito's face scrunched up. Samantha tried to hold back her smile. "As if!" came Obito's boisterous reply, "There's no way that I'd wanna help an _enemy_ in danger. They're the ones I'm fighting against!"

"Well, you wouldn't be asked to protect the enemy now would you?" Tori came back with a teasing eyebrow raise. "But you'd protect anyone in the village, wouldn't you? Even if they were some grumpy old grandma like me?"

"You're not a grandma, Victoria-Chan!" Rin protested, "And you really oughta stop allowing Kakashi to call you that."

Tori blinked. "Oba-Chan means grandma?"

"I thought you knew that?" Sam spoke up, her tone thoughtful.

"I never studied honorifics like you," Tori protested, "I can't believe you let him call me grandma!"

"Yeah, but I thought you knew, because of-" Sam quickly cut herself off, realizing that trying to speak about _anime_ when it wasn't even a thing would probably be suspicious. "Well, in any case, I woulda said something if you'd've asked me about it." She gave a 'whoops' shrug, feeling amused at the whole thing.

"Bakakashi is just a punk, anyway," Obito said, flippantly, "Don't listen to anything he has to say."

Victoria had a niggling feeling at the back of her mind. Like a memory was just out of reach. "No… you know what, I'm gonna keep it. Cuz then if he tries any crap, I can pull rank and age on him so fast he won't know what hit him." She smirked in a rather evil way. "And it'll be all his own fault." Then she gave a little giggle.

Rin's eyes widened a little and she chuckled too. "Oh, Victoria-Chan."

"Now that's what I call cheeky," Sam smirked.

The memory suddenly was located and Tori couldn't help gasping as she realized why Kakashi calling her a grandma was such a weirdly familiar thing.

 _They were on a hill. A blanket below and stars above. Kakashi was telling a story. "One time. Long ago, when I was a very young chunin, my squad was assigned a transport mission. At that time, the Leaf Village was still at war with the Village Hidden in the Stone, so nearly every mission was considered B rank or higher. I was full of fire then. A genin in temperment, if not rank. So my squad leader picked this mission, I believe, just to teach me a lesson." His silver eye reflected the stars above, but there were dark shadows within: memories of companions lost and friends' deaths. "It was a very long mission, too long of a story for one night's telling, but there was one part that I'll never quite forget. Part of our mission was to protect these two old ladies who had to travel with the transport. They were terrible. The worst part of the mission. And slow. So slow. Well, we got to the third day of travel with them, and I was ready to kill them. Quite literally, it seemed the mission would be better served by their dead arrival to the destination than to be so slowed down by their walking pace."_

" _You really would have killed a pair of little old ladies?" Victoria interrupted, grave concern and some shock in her voice._

" _I was not a very nice child," Kakashi said just as gravely. "But Minato-Sensei had the patience I did not. He said no, and I endured. Well on the morning of the fourth day, one of the grannies, she hurt herself. So now, not only did we have to travel at a snail's pace, but at a broken snail's pace."_

 _Samantha was sure that the story wasn't meant to be funny, but Kakashi's description of the entire event was hilarious. She couldn't help but snort. "You were quite the dramatic child, weren't you?"_

" _Yes," he agreed easily. "But it was a time of war and every minute waiting for Granny Two to limp over the mountains was another minute vulnerable to enemy attack. So finally, I had had enough. I declared that there was no way we were going to wait for her to limp up the hills. Either she allow one of us to carry her or we were leaving her behind."_

" _I bet she didn't like that," Tori offered. "Even grannies have their pride."_

" _Even grannies have their pride," Kakashi agreed. "As she was quick to inform me. She gave me quite the telling-off. Even my ears were blistered. And Granny One, too. She was also ready to defend her friend. 'The real heroes are the ones that never give up, no matter how hard it gets!' she said, 'No matter how much they have to endure or how much harder they have to work than anybody else. They don't give up and they don't give in.'"_

 _Sam's eyes sparkled at the story of the two grannies. "They sound smart," she stated. "Sounds like you needed a time out or something."_

" _Sam!" Tori scolded._

" _What?" Sam asked, innocently._

" _Eh, she's probably right.."_

" _Hah!" Sam announced her triumph to Victoria._

" _In the end, I won, and Sensei made the Grannies let us carry them for awhile, but it did stick with me. Even Grannies have their pride, and it's enough to get your squad killed if you aren't careful."_

"Sam! Royal Hotness! His story on the picnic!" She pointed at Samantha and then at herself. Sam's eyes widened as Victoria exclaimed: "Granny One. Granny Two!"

"Holy moly!" Sam exclaimed, staring at Victoria with surprise. "I can't believe that he- what that heck!" Sam fell back against the couch, astounded by this revelation, "I can't believe that- well, dang!" _I can't believe that Kakashi was calling us_ both _Grannys! And to our faces! That buttmunch!_

" _Right?_ " Tori said with a I-can't-believe-he-did-that laugh. "Man, when we get back to the fu- mountains, we are gonna have to give that guy a talking-to." And then she blanched, remembering the huge fight that had preceded the giving of the nickname. "Actually. We already did. We kinda maybe deserved that…"

Rin and Obito just looked at each other with confused shrugs.

"Tch, he deserved what we had to say!" Sam argued, still feeling frustrated by the whole previous scenario.

Tori gave a little half-committed shrug, but her mind was rapidly thinking back through the (for-them) three-weeks-ago conversation. _What he said - it wasn't quite one hundred percent right. Or, maybe he just interpreted things differently. Remembered them differently. Or maybe at some point in the overlapping of timelines, it actually happened differently. Or maybe I remembered wrong. Heavens knows I spent half that first week too busy watching the light gleam off grown-up-Kakashi's hair to actually remember words that were being said to me... Either way though, this is super important because it means whatever happened with Tsunade and Konohamaru, must really happen. There is a causal-link between the timelines. What we have done and will do are affecting the past and future all at once. How much of it we can affect, I'm not sure. How much of it is already predestined, I don't think anyone truly knows._

Victoria rubbed her chin absent-mindedly, the movement pulling at the IV taped to the back of her hand. _Boruto must not fully know what's going to have happened by his time, otherwise there would have been no point in sending us all over the place for something unless there's a chance that we really can get it to the future, right? And how does he know what's happening to us anyways? And if he does, why didn't he save us from those mercenaries? Can he actually see us? How? Maybe he has that magic ball Sam ranted about once. What did she say about it not fitting into this world? Well, magic marbles and time-travel doesn't seem to fit either. Who really made this world-build? Was it God or this whole time have Sam and I really been in some tripped out computer simulation? Maybe we really are munching some sort of magic mushroom. Medically induced psychosis… Oi. I'm getting a headache._

"Victoria-Chan, are you okay?" Rin asked, interrupting her spiraling thoughts. "I can ask the nurses to check if it's time for additional medication."

Tori gave the girl a reassuring smile and shook her head to clear away the worry that would surely plague her through the rest of the week once Rin and Obito weren't around to distract her. "Don't worry. I just got lost in my thoughts. They had me take something just a few minutes before you guys came. Thank you very much for offering to do that though. And I'm so grateful you thought to visit. And that you brought such beautiful flowers! You are very sweet."

Rin blushed and waved both her hands in front of her, embarrassed to accept the praise. "Oh, no, I'm just doing what anyone would do for someone who saved their life! I would do anything to help repay you, Victoria-Chan."

"Oh, well you definitely don't have to worry about that, Rin-Chan," Victoria said hastily. "I was glad I was in the right place and at the right time to help, but you certainly, _certainly_ don't have to try to pay me back. Just stay safe and strong yourself. You living a good life is repayment enough, I promise."

Samantha listened to their conversation with a quiet frown; observing. _Does Tor not know what happens to Rin?_ Sam worried _And… even with the knowledge that I have… would we be able to stop it in the first place? I mean… Kakashi knew who we were… and he was alone… Obito… Rin… Minato…_ Her brow scrunched in consternation. It was beginning to get far more complicated than Samantha had ever thought possible. _And Obito… does he still turn into Tobi? I wish I had thought to ask Boruto about the past! Er… this future. The future his father grew up in. Bla-a-a-h, the past. I'm gonna say the past. It makes the most sense to my brain._ Samantha audibly sighed, wishing she had her phone to distract her.

"But," Victoria added after a second, "There is one thing you could do for me, Rin-Chan, not because of what happened in the canyon, but because we're buddies."

"Of course! What is it?"

"Samantha here needs somewhere to sleep.."

Rin twisted to look at Samantha. She gave the woman a happy smile. "I know the perfect place!" And that was how Samantha got invited to stay at Konoha's Ninken Medical Ward and Boarding House.

* * *

Sam awoke with a quiet gasp. Sweat plastered her face, and her heart pounded, as if she'd run a marathon. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness slowly, but even then, Sam couldn't help her eyes wandering desperately; listening intently to the silence. Well, silence apart from the soft snores of the dogs in the whole of the room. Bringing the blanket she was using closer to her face, Samantha curled into herself, shaking and panting. "It was just a dream," she told herself, "Just a dream."

Except… it hadn't been _just_ a dream. She'd dreamt of… of… _No! Don't think about it!_ Sam pinched her eyes shut, desperately calling away the fear that overwhelmed her, wishing to stop the shaking. It was strange, to suddenly have this fear when she'd not thought about the incident in days. A silent crack of perhaps paper wrinkling or something like it, and Sam nearly whimpered, afraid that someone was in the room; as nonsensical as that seemed, Samantha's mind remembered the horrid fear of the moment. The smell. The grins of the men who knew they could defeat you in the span of a second and you could do nothing about it; because you were weak. Too weak. _What if… what if one of them escaped? What if they followed us? What if they're here right now?_ What if, what if, _what if_.

Something touched Sam's shaking form, and she gasped aloud, startled. A small whimper from above that sounded very much like an animal had Sam opening her eyes. The snout of one of the dogs in the room rubbed against her forehead, and then licked her, before curling up in a ball next to her. Samantha allowed a tiny smile to form, suddenly extremely grateful for the comfort of the animal. He was just like a service dog for those with… ptsd…. _Oh…_ As her heart started to calm, Sam realized just what was happening. It was odd… to be in the midst of something like post-traumatic-stress-disorder. Granted… Sam didn't think that she _actually_ had the disorder, but figured the fear probably was similar. "Thank you," Samantha murmured, even if the dog had no idea what she was saying, hopefully it could feel her gratitude. Sam's mind drifted off into a fitful sleep once more, one hand grasping the fur of the dog curled next to her, lightly.

In what felt like minutes since she last awoke, Sam _knew_ she heard someone in the room this time. Her heart pounded even harder, but she pretended that she was still asleep. Perhaps whoever was in the room would ignore the fact that she was there, and continue on their way. Maybe? Hopefully? But it was no use. The footsteps - because yes, there seemed to be _multiple_ people in the room - gathered closer to her and Sam's breathing hitched. When someone touched her shoulder, Sam cried out, and whipped her arm around, hoping to at least hit the person who tried to harm her …Until Sam became fully coherent and saw that both Obito and Rin were in the room, with Rin's wide eyes watching Samantha, her arms up in the universal sign of "I come in peace".

"Oh my gosh, I… I'm so sorry!" Samantha brushed off her fright with an unconvincing laugh.

"Sorry Samantha-Chan.." Rin said with a hesitant smile. Sam could practically see the theoretical sweatdrop above her head like it always showed in animes. "We thought you'd be awake already. We certainly didn't mean to surprise you."

Obito grinned, his dark eyes sparkling behind his goggles. "You were totally ready to take us out for waking you up! That was hilarious!"

"Heh," Sam blushed, "Yeah, I was. You two definitely surprised me! I, uh, am not much of a morning person..." she sheepishly admitted. Sam was totally a night owl! She even worked legit graveyard shifts!

Rin tucked her hair back behind one ear and gave a soft laugh. "Well… it's actually closer to noon than morning.." Samantha blushed at having slept in so late.

"We wouldn'ta woken you up, but the Hokage wants to see you," Obito added, tucking his hands in his pockets and hunching forward just a bit.

"He does?" Sam's brow furrowed, "I wonder what he could need _me_ for…" She mumbled, more to herself than to the two ninja in front of her. With a sigh she stretched out the aches in her body from having slept on only a matt, before looking to her left and noticing a dog still curled nearby. Its head was up and watching her, as if quite aware of its surroundings. Samantha blinked a second longer and realized that it was Kakashi's dog, Akino, who had come to her aid during the night, even though the poor animal was still just as hurt as Tori. Samantha smiled and softly scratched behind his ear, "You're a good dog. Thank you," Sam repeated, now knowing the dog understood her.

"You're welcome," Akino nodded his head, before once again laying on his paws and snorting his sleepy state.

"Well…" Sam turned to Obito and Rin who were watching her intently; though Obito had a slightly less observant air about him, "I guess we better not keep the Hokage waiting, eh?"

"Nope! You can't ever keep the Hokage waiting! They're way too important. So let's go!" Obito said with much more cheeriness than any normal human should generally contain.

* * *

When Samantha had tried to explain chakra to Victoria several weeks before, Tori had kinda gotten it. I mean - she was a smart, well-read individual who watched lots of foreign films and had a sister that was into yoga. She got that it was tied to the body energy and that it was some spirit-based thing that on this planet meant you could use your own life-force to do magic ninja tricks. Way cool, right? The part she had not really gotten was the fact that using chakra was _literally using your own life force_. Like… the stuff that kept you alive. That kept your kidneys pumping and your eye-balls rolling and even what ensured that the little tiny mitochondrias kept powerhousing away inside your cells. Victoria's crazy adventure in the canyon had somehow (even she wasn't really sure how she managed it) kicked her own instincts in so that she actually drew on that crazy wiggly network and kicked it into high gear to help her not-so-fit not-so-strong self to somehow survive and then haul a teenage girl two miles down a canyon at full speed in the darkness. It was a miracle. A miracle that she was definitely still paying for. Sleep was about the only thing that really helped: REM cycles apparently repaired the body and the chakra network more than any pills. Which, cool, Tori was okay with sleeping as much as needed.

She just wished she didn't feel quite so much like her body was a raisin that was trying to very slowly rehydrate.

She also wished that the lucid-dreaming almost-awake part of her sleeping wasn't so hard to break out of. It was hard to tell what was dream and what was real. The night before she had actually confused a nurse checking her iv with a dream of some blurry-faced shinobi stabbing a kunai through her hand. She still blushed when the other nurses all made very obviously-loud greetings before getting close enough to check her vitals.

Today wasn't bad, she could tell that some part of her, the physical part, was lying in the hospital bed, the busy sounds of doors and doctors and pages distantly echoing in her sleeping ears. Her dreaming self was tethered like a kite, gently bouncing in a sky full of stars that danced like the firework creatures in _Howl's Moving Castle_. "Samantha would love this," she mused to a passing cloud that was shaped like Aang from _Avatar the Last Airbender_.

The Aang cloud's nose blew weirdly to the left and then he spoke: sounding exactly like Minato. "Lord Hokage, they should be here soon. I am sorry for the delay my students may have caused."

Dream Tori tilted her head and then watched in sleepy befuddlement as the tree covered hills they floated over opened a craggy mouth to reply with Saratorbi's voice: "It's a wonder that they made it here as unscathed as you have stated. Not to worry, my boy. Let's just be grateful for everyone's safe return."

"Yes, let's." Minato hummed his agreement.

Dream Tori tilted her head at the cloud-Aang with Minato's voice. "You're much hotter in real life, you know," she told the dream figure. "But also, really scary. Nice, like in a polite and compassionate way, but really quite terrifying and deadly. I would like to not ever fight you, please."

Minato's amused smile was mirrored by the Hokage's tiny chuckle, "Quite the flattery, Minato."

A soft red lit up the not-yet-fourth-hokage's face, and Minato cleared his throat. "Ah yes, well, I would like to never have to detain you, Victoria-San." He replied to the barely-coherent woman.

Tori chuckled in her sleep that wasn't-quite-really-sleep. "See. Even as a cloud you're nice."

Lord Third patted the shoulder of one of his most trusted shinobi in the village, "Everyone is lucky that you're so nice."

"Ah," Minato blushed bashfully, "Well, thank you for the flattery, Hokage-Sama."

"I give as much as is deserved." The Third Hokage stated, seriously.

Victoria's dreaming mind heard their voices, but she was distracted by the brilliant glowing in the east as a yellow sun rose with Might Guy's face gleaming in the center of it. "Heh. Just like the Teletubby sun.." she mumbled. "I guess I gotta wake up, huh?"

"Yes, Victoria-Chan," Might Guy declared with his trademark toothy grin. "Let us move youthfully forward into tomorrow!"

"You're too much energy," Tori said with a shake of her head. "I'm too sleepy to wake up."

"I know what will fill you with energy, Miss Tori!" Rock Lee called up to the dreaming Victoria who was still peacefully bouncing like a kite in the star-studded sky. Leaning forward, Victoria blinked at Rock Lee who was holding a rope. Her kite rope. "Come back down to Earth!" he shouted, yanking the cord with a startling amount of strength. And then she was rushing down, down, down faster than the tails of the comets falling around her.

Real Life Tori jerked awake, nearly knocking over her IV. "No- I don't wanna come dow - ..n" she blushed to see that once again she had woken up from some weird dream with people in her room. "Down. I… I didn't want to fall down. In my dream. Sorry. I talk in my sleep, its weird."

"We noticed," Minato smiled, amused, "Not uncommon, though."

The Hokage gave another small chuckle, before turning to face the no-longer-sleeping young woman, "We're just waiting for your friend to join us. I've some news for you both."

Sounds could be heard from outside, the voice of Obito's over-cheering and exuberance overwhelming the quiet wells of the hospital room. As they entered the room (Obito taking it upon himself to waltz in, having stated that since they were in a hurry because of their sensei, there was no time to knock) Samantha heard the tail end of the Third Hokage's statement.

"Ah, I see you found Samantha-San," Minato said when the trio entered,

"Yes, Sensei!" Obito saluted.

"We did," Rin smiled, softly, giving a reassuring glance to Samantha, who suddenly felt extremely nervous. Her heart pounded, as she entered the hospital room; seeing both Minato and Sarutobi Hiruzen… it was actually more intimidating than she had expected. The Hokage, donned in his hokage attire, gave off an air of superiority and fluency with his movements - despite his age. His gaze, as it took in her presence, thundered with deep knowledge and emotions that Samantha didn't even realize one could find in the eyes of another. It was a little surreal. _I didn't even know I_ could _sense that kind of thing in someone's eyes._ Samantha was never good with determining emotion by someone else's gaze. Either way, she flitted her fingers together, unable to hold her own against someone as powerful as him. Although… _His power seems different than Minato's… like… at least… Minato seems more… well…_ _more_ _._ Was all she could think. She'd have to talk to Tori to figure out just _what_ exactly that whole thought even meant. Still… being suddenly overwhelmed by the looks and silent judgement of the two powerful shinobi in front of her, Samantha was extremely grateful to have Rin next to her. It was unusual for Sam to be glad for someone's touch, but the hand on her shoulder (though she felt a little silly being glad to have a _thirteen year old's hand on her shoulder_ be comforting) they were more aware of this whole… shinobi life. They were far less wary than she was.

Samantha cleared her throat, "Uh, yeah. Sorry," she scratched her neck, self-conscious of her lack of proper shinobi/konoha village conduct knowledge.

Tori crinkled her nose sympathetically at Sam, sensing the same kind of embarrassment from her friend that she felt. "It's okay, Sam-Sam. You just missed me flailing in my sleep like a fool. So, really, you're right on time." She shoved back her rather insane two-day bedhead. _I bet I've got more volume than Kakashi at this point!_

Samantha nearly snorted, biting her lip. Leave it to Tor to break the ice! "So… uh… Obito and Rin said that you needed me back here?" She asked, gathering the courage to blink at the two men.

"Indeed." Sarutobi Hiruzen answered, "I have some news for the both of you."

Samantha's forehead scrunched in surprise, and she blinked at the two men. "O-oh! Um… right." _That's right, he must've come to a decision on whether or not they could stay!_ Sam's heart thudded harder, and she walked closer to Victoria. She waited anxiously to hear what the hokage had to say.

Tori was uncertain what she was hoping for at this point. The giant fake backstory she had created the day before seemed huge and unwieldy today, even if it did stand in to answer some of the stranger gaps in a more reasonable explanation. (And honestly in this world, she wasn't actually sure what a reasonable explanation for them would be!). So did they hope that they bought it and really were going to let Sam and Tori bumble about the Konoha libraries? Or should she be hoping that they were about to reveal that they actually knew and recognized Sam and Tori as time-travellers from another dimension just like Boruto and friends had? _That would certainly be easiest...but nothing about this whole mess has been easy, lol._ Tori mentally rolled her eyes at her own millennial-esque dark humor, but straightened her glasses and gazed up at the shinobis with the confidence she was only too good at faking. _Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming._

Sarutobi under the cover of his huge hat seemed to be making a final judgement of them both but then he gave a small smile, splitting his face into the wrinkles that finally made him more recognizable as the careworn Sarutobi of the future that Tori and Sam had met in Chapter One of their story. "Konoha will accept your mission, Misses Lexigton and Winters. We will be prepared to aid your search once Miss Lexigton is released from the hospital."

Sam nearly sagged in relief. _They're gonna let us stay!_ She glanced happily towards Tori, before looking at the hokage once again. "Thank you _so much_!" Sam emphasized, "We can't even begin to tell you how grateful we are for this opportunity. Truly. Thank you!" She clapped her hands together and bowed just a little bit. It was actually a habit she'd grown to do the more she learned about the Japanese culture. Mostly because she loved it. She meant no disrespect at all. It was in her awe and fascination that she wanted to involve more of that culture into her life. But in this instance, Samantha meant it with greater sincerity than had ever become her.

Sarutobi's smile never left his face, "You're very welcome, Miss Winters. Now," he gestured a hand towards Minato, "Because you are already familiar with Team Minato, I'm going to have them escort you for the duration of your stay." Samantha kept her face passive. She was super happy about this fact, but also nervous that they were gonna be watched. _Then again… we're always being watched. I guess I should be used to it by now._ Obito grinned widely, placing his hands on his hips, "heee"ing triumphantly. Rin simply eye smiled.

Victoria tilted her head slightly. She knew from what Samantha had said that Minato was a big, kunai-flipping deal as a fighter. Why would he still be assigned to a research mission? Something of her thoughts must have been given away in the way she looked at Minato and his stupidly-gorgeous face because he returned her questioning stare with a slight perfectly-polite smile. "Team Minato but sometimes without Minato. I am afraid I will be on some solo missions in the near future."

Obito whirled around to his sensei. "Does that mean I can be Team-Leader, sensei? Can I? Can I?"

"I'm sorry, Obito, but I'm actually appointing you all as leader. Each of you will need to help Victoria-san and Samantha-San while they are here. Help in whatever way they need as much as is permitted."

"Aw, c'mon, sensei!" Obito complained, "Bakakashi doesn't even have the decency to _be_ here."

"Ah, yes, well, he had some matters he had to attend to." Minato said, unapologetic.

"Don't worry, Obito. It'll be fine," Rin reassured her teammate.

It was while they were talking about the matters of Kakashi being a part of the team that Samantha realized something… _direly_ important. "Um," She spoke up, if a bit quietly. It did, however, gain everyone's attention, "So… we are absolutely grateful for all that you'll be doing to help us out and stuff but…" Sam fidgeted, "We kinda… need a place to stay." Her voice drifted off and she couldn't face the looks of the people that she and Victoria were relying on.

"Ah yes, I'm glad you brought that up," Minato said, "Lord Third and I were talking about this conundrum, and have figured out a solution for you two, if you're up for it?"

"We'll be up for anything!" Samantha said, eagerly, "Right, Tor?"

"Yes, I think so," Tori agreed. "And we certainly want to help or work or do whatever we can to not be burdens to all of you. We may not be shinobi or very..um..world smart, but we are tough and smart and pretty helpful, generally speaking.." She trailed off feeling uncomfortable.

Minato eye smiled, "Oh, I'm sure that if Kushina needs you to help her out, she will not be afraid to ask you."

"Kushina?" Samantha perked up, before remembering she wasn't supposed to know who that was. If Minato or the hokage noticed higher lilt in her tone, they made no indication.

"She's someone I know quite well, and she'll be very helpful in making sure you feel comfortable while you're here." Minato answered.

 _They… they trust us._ Victoria realized. _I think. Like: they wanna help take care of us. We aren't alone in this time period like I thought. We're..we're gonna be okay._ The thought was a warm realization. For the first time in days and days and days, Victoria felt like maybe it was okay to feel safe. She felt a little dumb for tearing up, but there was no masking the raw gratitude in her voice as she said, "You - you Konoha folk really are something else aren't you?" She rubbed away a tear that already ran away down her cheeks. "I don't think there's a community in any other planet that would… would be so kind and so helpful to such ragamuffins as us. Blah. I'm crying again. I'm sorry, I just - thank you. Thank you all so, so much."

* * *

 **A/N: Good golly, that was a long chapter! Hopefully it was worth the wait for you all. I, RoyalVicTorie, want to personally apologize for the things I said when I was nap-hungover. They were...kinda mean. But, hey! Characters are supposed to be imperfect and flawed right? And yay for us making it safely to Konoha! And we get to meet Kushina soon! MangaGeek3 is super excited for that. Also, did you notice that trickiness of us tying things back to Kakashi's story in Chapter Five? Yeah. We totally planned that. ...We actually planned a lot of things...Plots they are afoot! Just wait til you see who else we meet in Konoha...**

 **Foreshadowing. Foreshadowing everywhere.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve: ...That Anything Can Seem Normal if You Do it for Long Enough**

Samantha sat at an island counter, chomping away at a sandwich with the weirdest innards ever, yet surprisingly good. A feat that was hard to manage with her picky taste buds. It was a sandwich with soft, rice bread (apparently actually made with rice) that had been slightly toasted (so not so soft after that) filled with a poached egg, bok choy leaves, sprouts, salt, pepper and another seasoning that left the sandwich a little tangy (it tasted similar to banana peppers), what looked to be something like hummus, and just a little dash of soy sauce. All in all, it was yummy and Sam cherished every bite. She let her feet dangle for a minute on the stool she was using, half daydreaming, half looking around herself. If she were reading a comic, this would be the time she'd be asking "WHERE ARE YOU!?", full of anticipation for what was next. Her eyes drifted to an old picture of Kushina Uzumaki, proudly displaying her forehead protector in front of a, what Sam concluded, was probably a picture of her on her graduation day at the academy.

She half-smiled, especially as her eyes wandered over to the picture of Kushina with her genin team. It was all so… nostalgic. Well… as nostalgic as a Naruto fangirl could claim. All Samantha could remember is Naruto's team photo and all that came with that whole thing. In fact… the more Sam thought about it, the more surreal her and Tori's situation felt.

Taking another bite, thoughts of Kushina popped up. It was weird to think that Kurama, _the nine-tailed fox!_ was sealed inside her belly. That he would one day be controlled by obito and destroy some of the village and kill Minato and Kushina herself. The very idea saddened Sam, and she wished that Tori was back from the hospital already so Sam could at least _try_ to convey these feelings to her. After all, Samantha had been living with Kushina on her own while Tori recovered. That made it even _more_ bizarre. To think that Sam had met one of the famous characters of Naruto on her own. And Kushina was every bit the same as the anime portrayed. (It was uncanny, really, how eerily similar they were. It made Samantha hesitant to truly believe they weren't just under some kind of mushroom or coma or something more realistic. Except that Tori was there, too. Unless Tori was also a figment of her imagination. Sam knew Tor quite well so it wouldn't be unimaginable. _What if I turned out to be like Buffy from that one episode! Where it left the viewer questioning whether or not this was all in her head or not. Ack! That would seriously suck!_ )

From the moment Samantha was left on her own, she found herself questioning her reality. Wondering how it was even possible to be here, and why would they be here, anyway? She and Tori _of all people._ What made them so special? Why not someone else? Plenty of people would die just to be in the Naruto world. Fanfiction proved that theory. So… how was it that Sam and Tori were the two to end up there in the first place? It brought back the thought that this was all just in her head a little closer.

"Aah! That shower was _just_ what I needed! A long hard day of a quick mission can leave you feeling just as grimy as a long one." Kushina ambled into the decent sized kitchen, a towel wrapped around her head, concealing her long, luscious hair. And luscious it was. Samantha had never seen hair that was naturally as red as Ariel from _The Little Mermaid._ And somehow, it was softer than any hair that Sam had seen in her world. And it seemed to _move_ with the emotions Kushina was feeling. Maybe it was some sort of jutsu she used? That made the most sense.

Samantha hummed her acknowledgement. She really had no idea what that was like; she worked at a call center, after all. _Ugh, call centers,_ she grimaced, briefly. Her eyes followed Kushina as the jinchuuriki opened up cupboards of her own to find something to eat, herself. Samantha took the second to last bite of her sandwich before responding. "Were you gone all night? That must be harsh."

"Nah, it's no biggie. Do it all the time, ya know." Kushina said.

"All-nighter missions?"

"Nah, missions in general." Kushina grinned cheekily, as she pulled down a plate. Making her own sandwich, it seemed.

"Ah, I see." Sam said, unsure with what was appropriate to ask concerning missions. "So…" Sam drawled, as the silence stretched on, with only the sounds of Kushina's humming and sandwich making in the background. Kushina glanced up briefly at Sam, a smile still on her face. "You said you were going to teach me the gardening you'd like help with?"

"Oh yes!" Kushina brightened up, accidentally flinging lettuce in the air as she remembered talking to Sam about that, "With you and your friend staying here for the foreseeable future, I could _definitely_ use the help."

"Well, I'm all ears!" Sam said blithely, standing to put her sandwich dish in the sink (because everything inside it definitely had a tendency to spill out). Kushina then proceeded to tell her all about her gardens. Yes, that was plural. Apparently the woman really loved plants! _That must be a reason why Naruto had a few in his apartment. I wonder if loving plants was the only reason he had them…_ Sam briefly wondered while she listened.

"So! You ready for me to show you around? This place is kinda large so, if you need me to draw you a map, I can certainly do so, ya know!" Kushina announced, showing Samantha outside the kitchen, her walk was nearly a skip. Sam was pretty sure that was just her natural way of walking. Despite being the kyuubi's jinchuuriki, the woman had made a way for herself to be happy. _I'm glad_ Sam thought in passing, then diverted her attention to the area's Kushina was pointing towards.

When Kushina said she could draw a map for how huge her home was, Sam was astounded to see that she would probably actually need it! Kushina walked them along a little a cobbled walkway that was covered by the traditional tops of japanese roofing. To the left was a large clearing with gardens creating aesthetically pleasing designs, one of which was the Konoha leaf symbol. To the right was a smaller, circular area encompassed by trees, bushes, and in the middle was a small pond with koi fish. The last, rather sad looking flowers of the summer still surrounded the fronts of the bushes. It would seem getting the gardens the rest of the way ready for winter would be among the duties Sam and Tori would be in charge of.

"Wow. This is amazing! So beautiful! And you're the only one to keep it up?" Samantha gushed, taking in the sights and smells of the garden. Birds chirped in the tall trees, making it even sound just as beautiful.

"Nah, I do tend to have missions for the genin to come and water my gardens once a week, ya know. But while you and your friend are here, I don't need to have them come! It'll help me save some money. Ya know!" Kushina winked. Samantha smiled.

"That makes sense," Sam said, thoughtfully. She really should have thought of that herself. Of course Kushina would assign genin to help out. What a way to get experience for the genin, too! "So… is this all of your garden area?"

"Oh no," Kushina smiled slyly, "This is only one area. I live in a huge compound. Left me with plenty of space!"

Sam blinked. _Oh boy. Poor Tori is_ totally _gonna grimace when she learns this little fact._ Samantha had been visiting Tori a few times since coming to the Uzumaki compound, but that day she didn't have to. Tori was finally permitted to leave the hospital! Sam couldn't wait to show Tor around. It was super exciting to be living with the Red Hot Habanero! HopefullyTori felt the same.

Samantha didn't have to wonder for too long. Just as Kushina was closing the tool shed back up after their tour of its contents, there was the distant sound of feet on the neatly raked gravel path. Rin's voice reached them first as she said, "You're doing great, Tori-Chan! We're nearly there!"

"Miss Victoria, are you certain you don't need my help?" Minato offered in his always perfectly, inscrutably polite way.

"Minato!" Kushina gasped, not nearly loud enough for the group to hear, but her instant maneuvering of her hair to, possibly, "comb" out any twigs she may have thought were there, gave her away. Sam couldn't help her knowing smile in any case.

"I've got it," Victoria promised somewhat raggedly. "Totally. Ninja-doctor Holmes will be so proud at my te- tenacity." The recovering Earthling limped into view, a helpful Obito shouldering her along like any good granny-watcher. Rin and Obito walked on either side, Kakashi lingered behind at the rear as an obviously reluctant rear guard.

 _Aw, I wish I could've been there to help Tori's discharge!_ Sam thought as she watched the group coming into view. "You made it!" Sam decided upon to say, waving dramatically to them all. Minato smiled, though it was obvious it was for the sight of Kushina than anything else, while Obito responded back with just as enthusiastic of a wave as Samantha. Watching Tori walk slowly, Sam was immediately glad that she'd been to the hospital. Who knew what could have hindered Tori if she hadn't gone in the first place?

"Almost," Tori quipped in response to Sam's dramatic welcome. "We still have to battle the dreaded driveway beast. It might be what defeats us."

Samantha smirked, "If it's the driveway that defeats you… I'll make sure to give you a more dramatic end in your autobiography."

"Heh. All roads lead to a DEAD end," Victoria punned badly. "Sorry, that one didn't quite _pave_ out like I intended. I must be TIREd."

"Oh good grief!" Sam giggled, walking up to the group to help Obito help Tor. Sam offered her arm. Kushina followed up behind Samantha, deciding to walk next to Minato. It was quite easy to see the small blush she had gained, though it was too tinyily tinted to notice without looking at her closely.

"The urge to make puns has led me down many a rocky road," Tori confided to Rin, "It may seem a little PATHetic to you, but the round-a-bout way I talk sometimes..it's all a road-iculous attempt to make Sam laugh. Guess that's what you should expect from a Tor...ia. Heh. Did you see what I did there? I even punned my own name."

Samantha giggled at the first pun, but furrowed her brow in confusion by the last one, "Wait… I have no idea what you were trying to say there." She completely ignored Kakashi's near snort (Sam would swear it was a laugh!) while Minato and Kushina chatted quietly to themselves.

"Like… like a tour - tour guide? But my name, Tori.." Having finally reached the porch, Tori reached out and rested her hand against one of the large and elegant columns with a heaved sigh of relief at having made it to her destination. "It was a stretch."

Sam snorted briefly, "Okay, I gotcha now!" She looked over at the other two adults nearby. "So… what now? Tor and I do still need to go to the archives at some point."

"Yes, we will make sure that you two have your time to look for what you need." Minato agreed.

"Oh," Kushina sang, "So, are you two secret anbu on a mission for your clan or something?"

Samantha blinked in surprise at how closely Kushina was to being on the mark.

"Mind reader!" Tori whispered to Sam. Sam made an agreeable noise.

"Something like that," Sam grinned.

"Ah-heh, I'll explain more to you later," Minato complied as Kushina comically scrutinized him.

…...

"Say what." Sam deadpanned, hardly registering she made no conscious effort to stare at Kushina. The redheaded woman had a sparkle in her eye that Samantha wasn't quite sure what to think. The woman was notorious for pranks (at least, that was the general assumption, based on her persona and all that jazz in the anime ((because, though Sam owned most of the manga, she hadn't gotten to read it yet.)))

"That's right!" Kushina placed a hand on her hip, "I've heard you know some martial arts, so I wanna see what you've got!"

"Uuuh… well…" Samantha gulped, looking desperately at Tori for a way out of this, "I mean… I do know some martial arts but… I mean… it's been a few years since I've really done some training and-"

"Great! This will be a fantastic sparring match! We'll get to see what you remember and go from there! Maybe help you add some chakra moves in with it," The beautiful kunoichi placed her hand on Sam's wrist, beginning to pull her, "C'mon! Let's hop to it!"

Two minutes later found the two ladies standing in what could be called the Uzumaki compound training ground _Or could this be considered the backyard?_ Samantha wearily looked around herself. She was excited, yes. Absolutely she was; but the look in Kushina's eyes made her nervous and while Samantha practiced with Hinata some, Kushina's sparring methods, Sam could tell, were most likely going to be more on the aggressive side. Her heart thudded at the thought of it. She wanted to spar and learn and grow from everything she'd been unable to do before, but… could she do this? Would she… would she _fail_ like like had when defending Victoria? In a real fight- _ack! I gotta stop actin' like I'm never gonna get it!_ Sam berated herself. Her self-esteem wasn't all that high; never had been, though her policy was 'fake it 'till you make it'.

"Alright," Kushina took her stance, "We'll start out first by assessing what you can do, and move from there. We'll keep ninjutsu and genjutsu out of it since I'm sure you're not familiar with either of them, so we'll stick with taijutsu."

"Uh, right." Sam nodded, watching as Kushina took her stance, smiling gleefully. Sam bit her lip before deciding to take on the stance which Hinata had shown her. Kenpo, though super useful, was more for self-defense than anything else. The moves which Hinata had shown her had at least given her a way to start the attack and perhaps startle her opponent rather than waiting for them to make the first move. That was more to her style anyway.

"Alright. Ready?" Kushina asked. Sam gave a shuddering breath before nodding slowly. "Go!"

The difference between Kushina and Hinata was paramount. Hinata, ever the gentle child in her youth, seemed to have continued on in that essence. She'd instruct Samantha carefully and precisely, noting the major challenges which she needed to fix and then continue on in that manner; helping Sam to perfect that particular move before moving on. Not to mention the sparing Hinata did with Samantha… well, she was certainly counting her blessings that she'd had that one time to truly understand what sparing was like otherwise… she'd be in deep doo-doo.

Kushina took no measures to wait for Samantha's prepared mind. One minute Kushina was five feet away, the next thing Sam knew, she was on the ground rubbing a bruised shoulder. _Scratch that, I'm in_ such _deep doo-doo now! Ouch!_

Kushina smirked, "Where's that talk of training?"

"Yes well," Samantha grimaced, slowly standing, "It's been a while…" Itching her temple, Sam frowned over at Kushina, who never lost her large smile, feeling just a little discouraged.

"Well! Good thing you've got me! Now, let's continue! You said you had some moves, didn't you?"

"Um, well, yes-"

"Great! I'll go a little slower for you, so show me what you got!" And again, Kushina got into her ready stance, but as she said, this time she rushed for Samantha just a little slower. Sam wracked her brain, remembering all the things Hinata had taught her. With the slower movement's Kushina was allowing, it left room for Samantha to slow her brain down and remember the things Hinata taught in what felt like a life-time ago. Blocking and parrying, blood rushed loudly through Sam's ears. Her heart pounded with a flurry of excitement, easily ignoring each time she blocked Kushina's punches or kicks _Even if they do leave bruises. Battle scars!_ Thoughts swirled through Sam's mind, concentrating with massive effort. Her eyes saw only her opponent and never left. So in tune was Sam to watching her kunoichi partner that she nearly stumbled when, with impossible movements (and somewhere in Sam's mind she knew it to be the body flicker) the redhead was nowhere to be seen. Gulping down air, allowing the burn in her throat to dissipate, Sam looked left to right, at a loss for how she should find her opponent.

A small tingling befell her neck, causing Sam to swiftly turn, only to see Kushina coming at her as if with the intent to kill. Just as quickly as Sam felt excitement, it was replaced with a fear so overwhelming she could no longer move. She saw Kushina, even saw the smile of joy in sparring on her face, yet Sam couldn't help the shock stifle her own fun in learning how to better her skills. Unable to move, to allow a single call to action, all Sam could do was quiver. To briefly think _I'm finished_ before Kushina jumped forward and nearly slashed her hand across Samantha's neck, when she stopped herself.

"I win," Kushina smiled. Not two seconds later, when Kushina let her hands rest and her brow furrowed, Sam realized she was shaking. "Are you alright?"

"I-"

"Hey! Ms. Kushina!" The two sweaty women glanced left, noticing Rin (holding a picnic basket of sorts), Kakashi, and Obito entering the clearing. Sam backed away a step, ignoring the brief glance Kushina sent her way, and wrapping an arm around herself. Sam placed a plastic smile on, while Kushina sent the trio a genuine smile. The tightening of Sam's heart was palpably lighter when she realized that Kushina was gonna let the incident go. _I really don't understand it myself… I hope she forgets it!_

Kushina ran up to the trio, chatting away and listening to replies when her shriek of delight overroad anyones tone of voice as Minato came belatedly behind his team. At his side was the slow-moving Victoria who gave a happy, if a bit tired wave to Sam as they approached. Her medical check-up appointment must have gone okay for her to be joining them in the picnic rather than going back to the main house for a nap.

"Ah, nice to see you too, Kushina!" Minato replied, a light laugh to his voice as Kushina nearly bowled him over.

"Ya know, Sunshine, you just missed some awesome shinobi action over here!"

"Ah, c'mon. Get a room." Obito scrunched his nose, pretending to gag.

"Hey! When you get old enough, you'll totally understand what it means to like someone!" Kushina shot back sticking her tongue out. It was like night and day as Obito went from his normal shade of pinkened cheeks to a bright cherry red as he tried to hide his glances towards Rin. Kakashi rolled his eyes, silently scoffing knowingly at his teammate.

"What awesome shinobi action happened?" Victoria asked Sam curiously as she finished shuffling her way over to where Sam was toweling off her forehead and taking a drink from her canteen. "Were you and Kushina able to train like you hoped?"

"Hah! Yeah, something like that." Sam said after the deep gulp of her water, wiping her mouth briefly. Kushina and Obito were still hashing it out, and Sam could see Kakashi slowly sliding away from the group. "How are you feeling?" Sam asked, focusing on Victoria.

Victoria gave a loose shrug. "Still really, really tired. But apparently I am coming along nicely in the healing department. Doc accused me of using my chakra to speed things along, but I pointed out that there was totally no way that I could have done that if I didn't know how to use chakra for that, right?" She pushed up her glasses and sighed. "I'll just be glad when I can move without having to think about whether or not I might knock a rib into my lungs."

Sam blinked, "Is that possible to actually knock your rib like that?" It was an off-handed comment, one that Sam did not expect to be answered, "But… ya know… it kinda makes me feel a little dizzy thinking we can actually _use_ chakra. Who knew, right?"

Tori laughed. "I know. But, it makes sense. We got bodies and spirits and electrical currents between our atoms just like everybody else. Why not chakra?"

"Because we're not from this world?" Sam deadpanned, briefly interjecting quietly.

For Victoria, as long as a world system was consistent and seemed to have some sort of scientific explanation that could be used to test its bounds, she was willing to accept it as a possible reality, even if she didn't really know the full hows or whys. She had more questions about where the jelly went when you wiped the table clean than about how it was she was using alien ninja magic. "And, I was being hyperbolic, bytheway," Tori added as almost an after-thought, "My rib was just a little cracked, not split through and apt to run away through the chest cavity. You won't get rid of me that easily, Samwise Gamgee."

"I suppose you're in luck, then." The newly dubbed 'Samwise Gamgee' half-smiled, "I think it would be a little more frightening to be in this situation if you were suddenly gone."

"Just look for me in Shelob's Lair," Tori quipped. "I'll be wrapped up all snuggly-wuggly about to be eaten by a giant buggly."

"Shelob's lair" Sam furrowed her brow, thinking.

"The spider!" Tori said. "Big, old spider. Tries to eat Frodo about half a minute after he stomps away from Sam."

"Oh! Right. Hah. I forgot that that spider had a name." Samantha scratched her temple, cheeks slightly pink. It was then that she saw Kakashi seeming to be creeping up closer to them. So… Sam smirked, "How's it goin' there, Kakash-uh, Hatake-san?" _Man… it's gonna take_ forever _to remember to call him by his last name._

The tiny Kakashi for once didn't have a kunai to sharpen as a way to hide. So instead, he put his hands on his hips and tilted his head slightly to one side. "We begin your new mission tomorrow. We can do the briefing now if you two are done talking nonsense."

Victoria's lips quirked into an exasperated pout. "It's not nonsense. You just didn't catch the reference. It's fine. Can't expect a chunin to know everything, right, Sam?"

"Yeah!" Sam pouted, agreeably, "Besides. You'd love it if you could read it." She nodded matter-of-factly, before registering what Kakashi had said, "Wait. Mission? We're going on a mission? Oh wait… right." It took Sam a second to remember that they were going to be searching the archives, having lost focus from the more… hard-pressing fight with Kushina than she had expected. "Well… we have plenty of time to talk awesomeness, so… speak ye, henceforth, young shinobi!" Sam waved a hand comically, ushering Kakashi to talk to her and Victoria.

Kakashi's look of confusion and slight hesitation meant he was now totally at the mercy of Sam and Tori's teasing. "Oh, but verily, forsooth, Lady Winters," Victoria said, laying a hand on Sam's elbow and leaning close in playful concern, "Squire Hatake must not be denied the opportunity to be most immediately indoctrinated into the sacred knowledge of the Tolkien."

"Hai, Hai, but he shall be verily besotten by the lengths with which we, his senpais, shall speak thusly of said masterpiece." Samantha, though she enjoyed the fun banter, was sorely terrible at coming up with witty comments to say right on the spot - and yet, she tried. To a fault she tried.

"No. Stop. Please."

Victoria snorted at the look of disconcerted horror that had flashed through the child shinobi's eyes. "Methinks he doth protest. Mayhap we should show mercy?"

Kakashi glared at them both, his arms now crossing tightly across his chest. "You're behaving like children."

Samantha giggled, mimicking Kakashi's pose, though less imposing. "Us? Behaving like children? I think not." She turned to Tori, "Mayhap we should continue the ritual of the teasing? The white-haired youngin' has an adorable pout." Sam teasingly poked out her tongue.

"I think he caught it. The adulthood. It's a shame to see it having infected one so young," Victoria said solemnly.

Rin and Obito popped up on either side of Kakashi's shoulders. "Did you need some help, Kakashi?" Rin asked gently.

"Bakakashi? Needing help? As if." Obito chimed in, though he stood next to his teammate with every intention of backing him up.

"Ah, Tori-Sama, me thinketh we are officially outnumbered. Our time may have come."

"Ah yes. We must do what we learned in French class, Sam." Victoria waved a tiny invisible white flag. "We surrender!"

Sam nodded her head matter-of-factly, humphing her acknowledgement of their defeat. Then, giggling, she placed a hand on her hip. "So, you wanted to talk to us about a mission?" Though the question was directed towards Kakashi, Sam looked at all three. Kakashi, Rin, and Obito. (Out of the corner of her eye, Sam could see Minato and Kushina in the background, smiling fondly.)

"Can we do this sitting down?" Tori asked hopefully. "Maybe with lunch?" Kakashi clearly wanted to protest, but was swept under the tide of everyone else's eager agreement. As they all chowed down on the rice balls and sweet dongo, the plan was discussed and basically boiled down to this: tomorrow morning Sam and Tori would be waiting at the doors of the compound for the three youngest members of Team Minato to be escorted by them to the Archives where they would be given extremely limited and well-supervised access to the materials while searching for the mysterious bit of parchment with unknown writing upon it. Kushina asked several questions about the mystery and when Obito helpfully parroted back what Victoria had said about their supposed cultish upbringing, Kushina asked several hundred more questions.

Victoria and Sam kept it as close as possible to the truth, while still following the set up Victoria had established in their later conversations with the Third Hokage.

"Wow! Ya know, for how modern our world is, I _never_ would've expected there to be some cult hiding out in the wilderness, being all… un-modern. Ya know?"

Kushina's astonishment was genuine and immediately Sam bit her lip. _Man, I'm such a bad liar. I really hope that she doesn't see through my terrible acknowledgement face._ "Yeah. We were certainly left in the dark! It's like a completely new world to us here where all the shinobi reside. Let alone learning we have chakra!"

"Oh! That's right! I never got to show you how to use your chakra, did I? We should continue the lesson after looking in the archives, ya know? How about it?"

"Ah, right. Molding chakra… you're right. We never even started it. Um…" Sam was hesitant. "Are we going to spar again?"

"Nah, we don't need to spar to learn how to harness chakra! We'll start off easy, like holding a leaf to your forehead! How about it?"

"Alright. That sounds fine." Samantha agreed. Kushina turned her question towards Victoria.

Tori perked up. "I certainly would like to learn more about using chakra!" She agreed. "But… doc did say I would have to be careful for a bit longer. But just small practice should be okay."

"Yosh! Okay! Let's get to crackin' those parchements, ya know!" And Kushina trudged ahead.

Tori tilted her head and looked over to Minato. "Do you think she heard the part where this starts tomorrow?"

Sam smirked, "Probably not! She's a shinobi through and through, I suppose!"

...

It was a bright and beautiful morning. A perfect day to spend outdoors in most people's eyes. Victoria, of course, had been greatly enjoying life back on the inside of things, but even she was a little excited about hiking across the Uzumaki compound to the training grounds. Today was the day she was finally cleared to start using chakra again! And thus, it would be the day that Kushina would start training Samantha and Victoria in the mysterious and awesome power of the shinobi world. As a fantasy nerd, Victoria had grown up dreaming of magic and flying and finally, she was going to get to do some of that stuff! She just hoped her little mitochondrias were ready for it this time. She did not fancy another three weeks of misery and bedrest. The thought made her pause. She did some quick counting. "Sam," Tori said, "Sam! How many days has it been now since we landed in Konoha. Sixteen, right? Nine while I was in the hospital and now another week since I got out. Add that to the time getting us here, the Boruto nonsense.." She laughed. "Dude. I think back home, it might actually be Halloween. That's weird."

"Ya know, I'm actually a little sad about that," Sam replied, slightly downtrodden, "I love Halloween! I wonder if there's some way to incorporate that holiday here… I bet that the ninja would just _love_ halloween!" Sam plotted.

"And it's almost your birthday!" Victoria said brightly. "We should make a cake."

"My birthday isn't for another month away! Don't make me old, Tori!" Sam pouted _I'm so glad that no one else heard that!_

"Your birthday is next month? We should have a party, you know!" Kushina's sudden appearance before them made the two Earthling women jump.

"Exactly!" Victoria said with a grin. "And presents!"

Samantha nearly smacked her own face too hard, groaning, "Oh no…" she sighed, "Ya know, I do love my birthday but… I am just _old_ this time round! I don't wanna celebrate being old! Especially since my life has never been as exciting as a shinobi's life…" Sam didn't want to call her life pathetic but… she hardly had anything to live for except for her cats, her best friend, and her family. She'd never accomplished anything in her life, and so there was quite a lot of it that felt pointless in the grand scheme of things. She'd often thought 'what's the point?' but would then ignore it because she loved her family (which she included her friends in that category) and cats too much.

"Which is why we comfort ourselves with sugary carbs and gifts, SamSam," Tori said with gentle firmness and a comforting shoulder squeeze. "We can't stop the inevitable and devastating march of time, so we must be stalwart against its cruelty. But also! Think of how much adventure we had this month; we might have twice as much adventure under our belt by the time we actually get to your birthday. Plus, we are about to practice literal, actually ninjutsu. That's gotta be awesome."

Sam exasperated, "Man… way to be logical." She winked at Victoria, "I thought that was me. Mr. Spock, remember?" Samantha playfully sighed once more, "Well, we can celebrate if you want, but I ain't gonna be remindin' ya. Probably."

"Yay! A party!" Kushina cheered. "Now, let's get cracking on that chakra practice. We haven't got all day, ya know!" At the kunoichi's urging, Sam and Tori hurried the rest of the way up the hill and to the training grounds where Kushina had clearly been busy setting up several different 'stations' each with random objects meant to help them practice their chakra or test different things. The first thing she guided them to was a table where there was a tiny pouch of light yellow papers. "These are litmus papers, you know. They are so we know what chakra nature you each have."

Victoria looked cautiously at the paper and then took the one Kushina wiggled at her. "What do we do with them?" she asked. "Do we have to, like bleed on it or spit on it or something?"

Sam giggled at Tori, holding a hand up to her mouth. Kushina laughed brightly and shook her head, her bright red hair waving and springing up and down with her laughter. "Just flow your chakra into the paper and it'll do something. Like this." Kushina grabbed a paper and held it between her hands like she was praying. After a second, she parted her hands to show that her paper was neatly sliced from top to bottom. "Alright, you try."

"Oh kay.." Victoria said slowly. She then held her paper in both hands like Kushina had. It took her a moment longer than normal to gather the chakra feeling. The warm tingle tickled her palms. She opened her palms, expecting to see a paper sliced up like Kushina's own. "What!" She shared a panicked look with Sam. "I think I ruined it," she said regretfully. Her hands were covered in tiny shreds of paper; it had just deteriorated without any warning!

Kushina smiled knowingly, "Don't worry about the paper crumbling into pieces. In fact, it's a good thing. Means we know just what your chakra nature is."

Samantha, while waiting to hear what Kushina said that Tori's chakra nature was, did her best to wrack her brain at what the crumbling of a paper meant. She'd seen the episode… she knew that it was when Naruto was learning his rasenshuriken, but for the life of her, couldn't remember what each nature did to the piece of paper. Luckily for both she and Victoria, they didn't have to wait long to find out. "The crumbling of this litmus paper means that you've got yourself an earth chakra nature! Congratulations."

Victoria couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Dirt clods. Dust. Not exactly giant fireballs or that crackly shrieking lightning that Adult Kakashi had somewhat reluctantly demonstrated their first week for a starry eyed Sam. "Hm." Victoria wanted to sigh, but instead she remembered to put a smile back on before looking up at the eager Kushina and Samantha. "Earth style, huh? I always knew I rocked!" She quipped cheerily.

"Heck yeah! That's so exciting, Tor!" Sam held her hands close to her chest - usually the beginnings of her excitement. Especially for friends and family. Her heart pounded as Kushina turned towards her with a litmus paper. Samantha grasped it lightly, blinking at the plainness of its texture, having expected it to be as rough as parchment. The paper was smooth, however.

"Okay, now go ahead and siphon some chakra into the paper and we'll find out what your chakra nature is!" Kushina directed, waiting expectantly.

Having only dealt with chakra to the most minimal extent, Samantha had to really dig deep to begin moving her chakra. But when she did, she widened at how quickly it seemed to be rolling through her veins, as if she could feel her blood pumping rapidly. She felt it gather towards her fingers holding the paper and then… the paper wilted like a wet paper towel. So surprised by this, Samantha squeaked and dropped the paper. Kushina laughed.

"Looks like you're a water nature!"

"Water?" Sam repeated, thinking of all the possibilities that that meant. She was like… a real life water bender! "I'm a water bender!" She said aloud a second time, slightly stunned with excitement.

"A water what?" Kushina said with slight confusion, "It's not quite like bending water, ya know."

"I know, I know," Samantha waved a hand dismissively, "There's this… story that I'm quoting which talks about bending water particles 'n stuff. It's basically the same thing." Sam stared at her now easily shreddable paper which, surprisingly, didn't turn into little balls of paper at the first sign of being contaminated with water.

"Heh. Should we start calling you Sokka?" Victoria teased. She then struck a pose with her fist up. "Watch out, naughty shinobis! Toph-Sama is coming to get ya!"

Sam 'ahemed', giving Tori a look, "I believe you meant to say Katara, dude."

"Sure. Sure I did," Tori said with a smirk that belied her promise.

Sam giggled, looking back to Kushina who watched the two, amused. "So… now what?"

"Well… now we can begin your training!" Kushina clapped her hands, then went to a tree and picked off a leaf. "Now, try and hold that piece of leaf to your forehead using only your chakra."

"Both of us?" Victoria asked, picking up a leaf. "Or does Sam need like..a water balloon or something?" She summoned some chakra into her fingers and then realized that she needed it going the opposite way. Victoria tried to imagine a little bubble of chakra rolling back up her arms and towards her neck. She got about as far as her nose before she sneezed violently twice. "Whoops. That's hard moving it to your forehead!"

Kushina giggled, placing her hands on her hips, "No, Samantha-San will also use a leaf. It's the best way to begin learning chakra control."

"I never woulda thought to ask if I'd have to use something different… that's a good question, Tor." Sam replied, taking her own leaf and lifted it to her forehead. "Okay," she prepared herself. Chakra was such a weird feeling, it made Samantha want to shiver as she felt the rush begin. It went from her core - her heart - and Sam felt it begin to move upwards, coursing through her like a swift river. It went up her cheeks - tickled her nose, making her want to sneeze like Victoria - and paused right where Sam had imagined it to pause. Her heart floored from excitement. _Okay… I think I can let go_! So… she did. The leaf stayed on her forehead for a second, before it suddenly blew away from her face as if thrust by the wind before falling slowly to the ground; twiddling as it did so.

"Um…" Sam questioned, her brow furrowed in confusion, "Is that supposed to happen?"

Kushina chortled, "Well, you certainly got your chakra where you needed it to go! But it blew out like that because you gathered up too much of it."

"So… that caused it to suddenly fly away?"

"Yup it did!" Kushina gave her a thumbs up, "But way to go, ya know! That was a good first attempt. For both of you!" She praised.

Victoria was not having so much luck as she had with the seals, and between the accidental sneezes and the tickly, itchy feel of chakra that went the wrong way down her throat, she kinda looked like she'd developed a cold in the interim. "I am having some hard time visualizing this," she admitted, raising her hand like she was in third grade again. "All the stuff we've done so far has started with building chakra up in our hands. Is there a way to build it up in your forehead or something? Or maybe a best route to send it from fingers to head?"

Kushina 'hmmed', her fingers stroking her chin, "Well, your chakra is meant to build up on your forehead rather than through your fingers, since you will be using your forehead to hold the leaf up and not your fingers. What you could try, before using your forehead to hold up the leaf, is having that sensation on your fingers. Holding the leaf to your fingertips without letting the leaf fall to the ground. Gain what the sensation is meant to feel like that will you help in building it up to your forehead in the same manner."

 _Well of course I can do that_.. Victoria thought to herself, feeling no more enlightened about forehead chakra than before. _At least, I would assume I can_. She narrowed her eyes at her tiny leaf and then held it up in front of her in one hand. With her other hand, she mentally imagined a marble-sized twirly ball of chakra whirling up to the tip of her opposite pointer finger. She glared even more fiercely at the leaf as though willing it to listen to her and then poked her chakra-infused finger into the face of the leaf with the same confident squish she would have used to apply a dollop of glue on a craft project. "Hold on, hold on, hold on," she chanted under her breath as she delicately released the leaf. It was trembling and wobbling and skittering like it was stuck in a gale, but the leaf stuck to her finger for a good thirty seconds before ricocheting off to gently smack Victoria's cheek. "Woohoo!" she cheered. "Finger Glue Jutsu achieved!" And of course, that meant a victory dance.

"Yay!" Sam gave a victory fistpump, happy that her friend was getting the jutsu down.

"Good job!" Kushina approved, "Now go ahead and give it a try on your forehead. Remember the sensation!"

Victoria chased down her leaf from where it had floated off to the ground in the wake of her dance and as she straightened up, she lightly declared, "Just so you know, Sam, this one is not a contest." She gently pressed smooth a wrinkle in her leaf and then fiddled with it a few more times to cover up the impending embarrassment of failing to get it on her forehead again. "Mainly cuz I don't think I'm gonna win." She furrowed her brows and glared at the leaf, trying to imagine and feel the chakra energy gathering in the crinkled up skin of her forehead rather than the-easy-to-sense tips of her fingers.

"Oh, this is _so_ a contest!" Sam countered, placing her own leaf back onto her forehead and doing her best not to add too much chakra and cause the leaf to blow off.

"In that case, I'm going to beat both of you, you know!" Kushina declared, fixing a leaf to her own forehead. Hers did not fall off. "I bet I can keep this on for the next hour! The whole night!"

"The next week?" Victoria asked, a little too innocently. She delicately tucked a strand of bangs out of the way before trying to once again do her Finger Glue jutsu, but this time imagining the chakra was a magnet and her forehead was a big metal fridge. The leaf didn't tremble quite so much, but it did slide down, down, down before tumbling free after hitting the nose-bridge of Victoria's glasses.

"Definitely!" Kushina declared, taking on the challenge.

"Uh," Sam laughed nervously, "I'm not going to try for a week… that's a _bit_ much, don't you think?" Losing concentration, Sam watched as the leaf fluttered to the ground.

"I think I'd be happy to manage five minutes," Victoria mused, pushing up her glasses and replacing the leaf for another slow fall. "So with sealing they told us to have a focus word. So are there mental tricks or focus things that can help with holding the chakra in place?"

Kushina placed a hand on her chin, thinking seriously about Victoria's question. "Generally, at least when it comes to a physical representation, I could place a dot or something like it on your hand where you could focus your chakra. Mentally is a little tougher because you can't see it. What you could do, is place your finger and touch the point on your forehead - keeping in mind the sensation of chakra having flown to your fingers before - and take that feeling and imagine it going to where you feel the pressure on your forehead. Try that and see if it works."

Samantha hummed when hearing Tori's question, listening intently to Kushina as she decided to take action on the red head's method. She touched her forehead, with the leaf between, and imagined her chakra rushing up towards the sensation. Imagining it to ball up and pause right where she wanted it to. And it did, for a second. Until it didn't. Sam was able to get the leaf to stay pressed to her forehead for a minute before the leaf blew away from her face and fluttered to the ground.

"Gosh darn rotten!" Sam cursed, "I thought this was supposed to be easy."

Kushina giggled, "If you thought using your chakra was easy, you were severely misinformed. Molding chakra takes a great effort. If you're one of the lucky ones who doesn't give up, you become someone great! Like me." She winked. "So don't give up! You have great potential! I can sense it. Both of you do." She pointedly looked between both Sam and Victoria.

Kushina's advice was only a subtle change from what Tori had already tried, but she swallowed back the part of her personality that always wanted to be the smartest person in the room, and tried building up her chakra from the point where she wanted the leaf to stick. Always a more visual learner she had to think of something to help her picture her own forehead..a part of her anatomy that she just really didn't pay much attention to. "Unicorn," she murmured under her breath. It was cheesy but with her eyes closed she imagined a tiny pearlescent unicorn horn poking its way through her otherwise nondescript forehead. It had an elegant tapered shape and was barely an inch long- just perfect for stabbing a leaf. _Or, not stabbing a leaf, holding a teeny tiny flower crown_. Yes, she could imagine that the stem of the leaf she held was a tiny crown, right? With careful deliberation, Victoria imagined that she was crowning her unicorn horn with the rather battered leaf. _Ah. So elegant. So pretty. Nothing to ninja magic, because what's puny ninja magic to a mystical and fabulous unicorn. Obviously I'm brimming with magic to my toenails, so my little flower crown wouldn't dare to fall right? Right._ The distant, logical side of her mind was holding its breath as it counted the seconds passing with no tickling leaf falling down her face. She peeked one eye open, hopefully not scaring the chakra to flee her forehead. "Sam," Tori whispered. "Sam, look."

A twinge of jealousy pierced Sam's heart when she noticed the leaf sticking to Tori's forehead, but then she smiled. "Dude, Tor. That's fantastic!"

"You've got that right!" Kushina piped up, "Looks like you're finally getting a handle on it!" As soon as Kushina praised Victoria for her accomplishment the leaf drifted down.

"Well, at least you were able to hold it for almost as long as I just did!" Sam cheered for Tori, turning back to her own leaf. _Look, darn you. Kushina was ever so kind to teach us how to use our chakra, so you better stick to my chakra on my forehead!_ Sam knew it was pointless to berate an inanimate object, but the situation seemed to need it, somehow. She placed the leaf on her forehead and gave out a frustrated noise when it, once again, fell to the ground. Nearly growling when it looked like Tori wanted to speak up, Sam picked up the leaf once again and imagined a dot on her forehead, like a laser or the sun's reflection through a magnifying glass, and took a deep breath.

"Work," She muttered, acutely aware of Kushina's observation. She imagined the chakra flowing to her forehead, flowing like water falling to the middle of a bowl, or dip in the ground. To her surprise, the leaf stuck to her forehead for a mere four seconds before it fell. Why wasn't it staying on her forehead as long as it was earlier?

"With such large chakra reserves, it'll definitely take you more practice." Kushina stated, "But with time, you'll definitely be able to hold it on your forehead for an entire week!" she winked.

Sam smiled, turning to Tori and giving her a thumbs up.

"Such large reserves?" Victoria repeated curiously, Samantha shrugged. "What do you mean by that, Kushina-chan?" It had rattled around in Tori's brain for awhile that Boruto and Co had told Sam she was using too much chakra when they were way back first learning seal releases. Since the same hadn't been said to her, Tori figured that must mean something important for down the road. But, also, wasn't that a little weird that one person would have more body-energy than another? _Like, what does that mean? Does Sam have more cells or something? A bigger spirit-self? Just cooler mitochondrias that spit out chakra for her than mine do? Darn lazy cells!_

"Yes!" Kushina went into that 'teapot' pose that teachers often used when explaining their lesson, "You see, Samantha-San has a lot of chakra pooling through her body, which makes it a lot harder for her to be able to mold it to what she wants. She's kinda like me!" Kushina smiled proudly.

Samantha's eyes went wide, "I'm like Naruto?" She muttered to herself, half smiling at the idea, half annoyed that it was just as annoying as Naruto had cringed about throughout the series when he was trying to mold his own chakra. "That's so cool!"

"It is!" Kushina agreed, happily, "But it also means you're going to have to be more dedicated to learning how to use your chakra than Victoria-San will."

"Why?" Tori questioned. "Wouldn't I need to study it even more if I don't have as much extra as she does?" Realizing that it had come across a little harshly, Tori blushed and added, "I mean, like from a philosophical standpoint. There's a lot I still don't understand here."

"Well of course, Victoria-San. You can't have too much studying! I just mean that it'll be easier for you to get the hang of molding your chakra because you don't have such a large reserve. Though it does mean that there are certain jutsu that you can't do because of this."

Samantha deflated slightly. _It's gonna be harder for me?_ She couldn't help the frown on her face as she thought about it. _I don't know if I can do this… do I have enough dedication to truly learn_.

"Can you teach us some defensive jutsus?" Victoria asked, cutting straight to the matter of things. "Stuff is a lot scarier out here than we thought it would be."

"Stuff? What do you mean 'stuff'?" Samantha turned her question to Tori. Kushina stayed silent as well, as if she wanted an answer to Sam's question, too.

Tori's face fell into a flat frown of the 'are you kidding me' meme man. "Like, remember how someone straight up tried to murder us last week? Or two weeks or whatever ago. And the thing before that with the scarf boy and the toad - like, we keep almost dying like a lot this month. That stuff."

"Oh." Sam thought on it for just a split second, "Stuff was a weird word to use." She teased, a small smirk-smile forming, "But Tor is right!" Sam turned her eyes towards Kushina, "If we knew some defensive jutsus, that would be super helpful."

"Well, I don't see why not." Kushina smiled, "But it's going to take a lot of hard work for you two. Especially since you've never really molded chakra before."

Tori tucked her hair back behind her ears and gave a firm nod. "We aren't afraid of hard work, Miss Kushina," she declared. "Just dying. And… maybe hiking too."

The ninja archives were way more ordinary than an earth-born mortal would have assumed. It was literally and literarily a reference library, well-organized and guarded on the outside. Oh, there was probably more sensitive documentation kept somewhere else, but at least the parts that Sam and Tori had been granted access to looked strangely like the old library Tori visited as a child before her city built a newer building. She kept expecting to turn the corner and run into Ms. Joan the librarian. Instead, she would turn the corner to meet the scowling angry little eyes of a nine-year-old Kakashi. She had learned to accept his trademark standoffishness at this point, even if her homesick little heart wanted to hug him tightly and pretend it was her baby brother. The giant crossed katanas on his back and the omnipresent shurikens helped her remember that that was a bad idea. So instead Tori and Sam did what they always did these days: went to a shelf, pulled down all the books from a row and methodically flipped every page looking for a loose piece of the legendary parchment. Of course the odds of them actually finding anything was pretty much zero, but until they figured out from Boruto what the heck they were supposed to do next, Sam and Tori were killing time while hopefully not getting themselves killed.

Flipping closed yet another tome, Tori placed it on top of the 'done' stack and leaned back in her chair with a big yawn. "Man. I wish I could manage one of those clone jutsus Kushina showed us last night. I'd make two: one to do all the book carrying for me and a second to massage my shoulders!"

"Except those clones are nothing but holograms." Sam stated, leafing through her own book, "So… we'd still be stuck doing the work ourselves."

"Don't wreck my dreams, Sam," Tori huffed.

"What you need is an element clone," Rin offered, looking up from a book of medical ninjutsu that she had been studying at the table with them. "Like a water clone or a sand clone. Clones with physical forms can perform tasks, and if you get good enough, they can even learn things for you or make decisions. Mainly they are used for stealth and espionage though, Tori-Chan, not for back massages."

Samantha snorted, a tiny giggle taking over.

Tori narrowed her eyes at Sam. "Is there a jutsu for making Sam carry all the books for me?" She asked Rin. "Cuz she's teasing me and should totally be punished for it."

"Hey!" Sam lightly smacked Victoria's arm with the back of her hand, feigning her offended tone, "It was funny!"

Rin smiled with a little giggle of her own, "I suppose we do have the Nara clan that can do something like that."

Sam's jaw dropped, and she whipped her head in shock towards Rin. "I cannot believe you just helped her plan my demise!"

"Someone's demise is being planned? I want in!" Obito nearly hopped over into one of the seats at the table Sam, Tori and Rin were sat at.

"No!" Sam said quickly, "We are definitely not planning someone's demise here."

"Oooh, I heard you say 'definitely'. Sound exciting!" Obito grinned widely and Samantha was just as shocked to see the young boy teasing her just as easily as the other's.

"Man. Y'all are mean." Elongating the last word, Samantha stuck out her tongue, silently happy that there was happiness happening at all, period.

"Gosh, don't call them average, Samantha," Tori said. "That's rude."

"Well, they are," Tiny Kakashi's voice came from the window sill. He had taken to crouching there as it gave him the best view of all exits. Unlike the other two young shinobi, he seemed to take the command of 'guard against any suspicious behavior' seriously from one day to the next. "Average that is."

Samantha turned to the moody teen, "I didn't call them average, ya punny weirdo." She turned her last comment towards Victoria, narrowing her eyes in a 'I see what you did there' way.

"Puns are just my mode, Sam," Tori said blandly. "They come to me unbidden. Like ghosts to a medium." She fluttered her eyelashes at the collective gathering. "It's a big plus in being my friend."

"I think opinions might be divided on that matter," Tiny Kakashi said lightly, earning a snort from Victoria.

Samantha stifled a quipped laugh, "Oh good grief. You just had to egg her on, didn't ya?" She was never good at coming up with puns on her own, but she was always good at giving them a good laugh.

"I'm not average, Stupid Kakashi!" Obito growled out, standing abruptly with a fist towards his teammate, "If you wanna fight, let's just take this outside!"

Kakashi didn't even bother looking over at Obito. "We're on duty," he said. "Or have you forgot?"

"Obi-Wan-Tobi-One," Tori soothed, "He was just teasing back. I'm the one that said it first, remember?"

Sam's eyes went wide at the smoothly coated relation Obito had towards the name 'Tobi'. Holy Hannah she's gonna blow our cover! Sam froze, unable to move as Obito responded, teeth grit tight.

"Yeah, but Stupid Kakashi always has something to say. Whether you started it or not." He turned towards Kakashi, "I don't care that we're on duty! They wouldn't mind! Would you?" He looked at both Sam and Tori, eyes hopefully expectant.

"Uh," Sam let out, exasperated.

"Yep. I would mind," Tori said, "Cuz if you guys get in trouble for fighting on duty today then you can't come to Sam's birthday party tomorrow." She raised a finger to punctuate her point. "And that would deprive both of you of cake. Which to me sounds like a loss for everybody. So let's not fight and just stick with gentle, friendly teasing, fam." (Tori was oblivious to Sam's near panic. The only context she knew for the name 'Tobi' was that it was the person that gave Sam her hat. There were at least a few spoilers she was still blissfully ignorant of.)

Sam's eyes went wide once more, "O-oh. Right. My birthday party." She wasn't overtly excited about the party (which was actually weird, considering she'd had slumber parties for her birthday for nearly sixteen years) and had, surprisingly, forgotten that it even existed in the first place. A part of her felt sad she wouldn't be seeing her family. That bothered her a bit. She was too sad these days. I just gotta get over it. Yup. Be happy and have fun. Think on the awesome things! "You certainly wouldn't want to go without cake, right?"

Obito visibly deflated, muttering as he picked up his chair and slumped into his seat. Rin smiled at him, "Don't worry, Obito. You can fight Kakashi all you want at the party. I'm sure Samantha-San and Victoria-San would enjoy watching you two spar."

"Oh yes, definitely!" Sam agreed, quickly. Which was true. She hadn't lied. She would definitely be interested to see them fight. Maybe I can get Minato to do a little sparring too… The idea of watching him fight was exhilarating to her. No harm in small attraction. She was sure she wasn't the only one in the whole of Konoha who thought him super sexy like a beast. Beyond Kushina, anyway.

"Oo! Oo! And we could, too, Sam!" Tori said brightly, clapping her hands. "We can show off what we learned from Kushina-Chan! Ooo, that'll be so fun. Like a chakra talent show!"

Kakashi smirked a little at Obito. "Maybe Obito can show you his fireball jutsu.."

Rin frowned at the smaller kid. "Kakashi," she scolded warningly.

Obito growled. He did that a lot where Kakashi and his responses were concerned, "You wish you could do a fireball jutsu as amazing as me!"

Samantha held back a laugh, the scene from the second movie of Harry Potter popping into her head. Harry facing off Malfoy. Malfoy challenging him and Harry stating 'You Wish'. His lip always made a weird twinge as he spoke the word, and Samantha forever giggled at the reminder of it.

"Why would I need to learn a fireball jutsu as weak as yours when I could just drop a mountain on your head instead?" Kakashi countered.

"Hah! You wish!" Obito shot right back.

"I don't have to wish. I already have that skill."

"Ladies! Ladies!" Victoria interrupted in her best 'teacher' voice. Rising from her chair, she raised a hand up to both of the quarreling boys, and said quite firmly, "We are in a library. I expect you both to behave appropriately."

"Sorry, sensei," Obito instinctively responded and then blushed bright red when he realized what he'd said.

"Man, Tor. That was very…" Samantha searched for the right word, "Strict?" she mumbled to herself, "No…" another short moment of thought, "Draconian of you." She smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, immediately enticing a smile out of Obito. Sam silently cheered. She didn't want him to be sad. It was… terrible… when he became sad. Not that Obito would go ballistic while being in Konoha, but one never knew.

"I'm serious about wanting these hoodlums to get some cake," Tori said with a shrug. She leaned over a little and the hand that had been held up to warn Obito back was used to ruffle his hair behind his goggles. "They've been working hard for us on our annoying project. I'll be a dragon if that's what it takes to get them some fun time." She shot a look over to Tiny Kakashi but he was staring out the window again, as unreadable as ever.

"I'm not sure Kak- Hatake-San would consider a birthday party, fun. Knowing him, he'll probably be on alert the whole time, right?" Kakashi grunted, barely gracing Sam with a glance.

"On the contrary." Rin interjected, "Kakashi actually does enjoy relaxing every once in a while. Even if you can't tell that he is." She had a small, blushed smile as she spoke about her teammate, giving him a once over before looking at Samantha, "He'll have fun tomorrow, too." She stated.

"I'm super glad about that!" Samantha smiled softly. Even though he was a terribly moody teen, Sam hoped Rin was right.

"Plus Minato-San and Kunisha-Chan will be there," Tori said, directing it more towards the tiny Kakashi than anything else. "I am one hundred percent certain that the two of them could hold off the apocalypse itself if it started during our party, so there won't be anything at all for the rest of us to worry about. Right, Hatake-San?"

The tiny ninja adjusted his face mask and shrugged a tiny bit. "...Probably," he finally muttered.

"Phew. Glad we all agreed on that. It was getting to be a bit of a long division." Tori gave Sam an exaggerated wink.

…

"So." Sam said as she watched Tori fluttering about the kitchen, "We're really making a cake? I don't think I know how to make one without a pre-made batter fluff…"

"I can… do it," Tori promised with all the hesitant confidence she had for the situation. "I have most of a recipe memorized for a spice cake, just gotta find the right stuff… And if nothing else, I can always make a crepe cake." She gave a triumphant shout as she located the cinnamon among the herd of little spice jars. Being illiterate kinda sucked. "Kay, we've got flour, spices, eggs, but I'm having a hard time finding oil.." She ran her hands through her hair several times, making a mess of it. "Or sugar for that matter. Can't even make crepes without that.." She began to rummage through the cupboards again. "Think, think, think. What can sub for oil in ba - oh! Applesauce! That'd be perfect in a spice cake anyways. And I know just where to find some!" She darted down the hallway, leaving Sam to continue sketching and munching on pocky.

Distantly the doors opened, and the sound of three sets of feet shuffling in: after so many days of arriving to escort the Earthling women to the archives, the junior members of Team Minato had learned to show themselves in.

"Hi, Samantha-Chan," Rin greeted with a smile, a brightly wrapped present in her arms. "We came early to see if you need help setting up."

Samantha glanced at the present in slight surprise. They might've been throwing her a birthday party, but she still didn't expect to receive anything. After all… they hardly knew her. "That's really nice of you! You didn't have to come so early."

Obito rubbing the top of his lip with his pointer finger, trying to hide a blush, "We wanted to. Besides, what good body guards would we be if we didn't?"

At that moment, Victoria bounded back into the kitchen happily brandishing their epic adventuring scroll. "We have applesauce in here!" she cooed. "Oh, hey, guys," she greeted. Victoria went straight to unraveling the scroll, looking for the little apple symbol she remembered seeing.

"Man, that's super convenient!" Sam cheered, watching as Tori opened the scroll.

"I know," Tori said with a grin. "Way better than going to the store. It's like our own personal Netflix of weapons and supplies." The little wobbly circles of her and Sam's seals took up a lot of the first section, but after scrolling past the almost endless length of ramen bowls, she found the place where the backpack and books existed. Right at the top was the little rectangle with an apple on it. Thank heavens for Himawari! I'd never know what I was doing without her thoughtfulness in adding all those little pictures. Summoning her chakra was easy thanks to all the practice sessions with Kushina and Victoria easily released the seal. Her sudden shriek of surprise caught everyone's attention: Little Kakashi pulled a kunai out of nowhere and Obito inexplicably jumped on the counter, arms raised in a fighting stance. Rin stood protectively in front of Samantha. "A-Apple!" Victoria stammered, trying to explain her shock to the concerned Sam and the others. "It wasn't applesauce, it was an apple! The Apple! Sam! Sam, it's my phone! Boruto and them found my phone!" Clutching the smartphone to her chest, Victoria did a happy victory dance around the kitchen. "It's back! I have civilization again! Finally!" My pictures! My music! My writings! I'll finally have something to frickin' read!"

Samantha stared at the apple iphone, jaw hanging, "I cannot believe they found your phone." She hovered closer to Tori, who was diligently examining the new giant crack in the screen as well as peering at the charge ports for toad slime, "Man. I miss my phone. It had so many songs on it!" Sam'd momentarily forgotten that they were in the presence of shinobi who had quite cleanly seen something that did not exist in their world. Something that stood out far more in this particular era than Boruto's.

"Whoa!" Obito said, awed, coming up comfortably close to Victoria, "What is that?" He brought a hand out to touch Victoria's phone.

Victoria instinctively pulled it back and then reluctantly tilted the dark phone screen back so that the kid could see but not touch. "It's a, um, communicator of sorts. I don't think it'll really work here now that we are so far from the range of our home mountains, but it has some memory storage in it which has things that are really important to me." She frowned a little, realizing that it didn't much matter anyways. The odds that it would turn on at this point were low considering it hadn't been charged in nearly two months and had been through toad slobber and being sealed away in a scroll. "Not that I'm sure it still works.."

"Memory storage?" Rin asked, sauntering up next to Obito, "What jutsu did you use to make that," she pointed to the phone, "store memory?"

Tori laughed. She couldn't exactly explain basic computing knowledge so she leaned into an established "cult" lie. "I have no idea," she told Rin. "Remember that our clan forbade us to learn any kind of ninjitsu. All I know are the controls that the maker left behind." She gave a vague shrug and said. "Well, might as well see if we have any signs of life to it. No point in carrying it around if it's destroyed." She shot a glance over to Sam as though checking if she thought it was a good idea. Now that the little shinobis knew it existed Sam and Tori trying to hide the phone seemed like it would look really suspicious.

"Might as well," Sam agreed, not sure if she felt eager or dread at having this moment entertained by their little crew of three as well. One of these days, their little 'cult' lies were going to get them in a whole heap of trouble. I just hope we have those defense jutsu down by then! Her eyes were glued to the iphone as she waited for Tori to give it a test try. If it worked, they'd have music again, if not? Well… they'd lasted this long without a phone - Sam more so than Tori - they'd get by.

Tori held down the power button and after what felt like forever, the screen lit up with the Apple boot logo. Everyone clustered around it, even Hatake seemed intrigued. It dinged musically and then switched to Tori's lockscreen: a picture of herself and one of her cats. Victoria felt her nerves fizzle with internal electricity as she fought the worried frown. "Himawari- I wonder if she messed with this somehow." She pointed the screen at Sam. "Look at my battery life." It was at 100%, not 11% like the last time Tori had had her phone on to take pictures of Sam on Hokage mountain during their picnic.

"Fully charged?" Sam commented to no one in particular, "After this long? Yeah. That's definitely strange." She agreed, a slight frown on her face. "Himawari must have done something to it if your phone hasn't died yet. Too bad we can't ask her what she did, eh?" Samantha gave Tori a pointed look, as they actually did have the ability to contact their friends of the future Konoha. Sam made a mental note to check up on that once they were alone. "Well, are you going to see if everything is the same?"

Tori used her fingerprint to unlock the phone and giggled a little at Rin's tiny "Oh" of surprise. "Let's check what's functioning." Facebook obviously went straight to a 'you are not connected' message, which wasn't surprising. Victoria's contacts app opened fine, but just seeing her mom's name under the 'recent calls' made her tear up a little. She avoided opening photos - didn't want to risk any compromising evidence of their time-traveling ventures OR alien heritage to be stumbled across. The furtive distant shot of adult Kakashi that Tori might or might not have there certainly wouldn't reassure anyone. Except maybe herself. "So far so good," she reported to Sam, "But I know what you are really curious about.." Tori was grateful for once for the poor cell quality of her past commute because it meant that she was one of the weirdos who still downloaded music instead of just streaming it. Smirking, she flipped to her 'Apocalypse Mood' playlist and started up a Nightcore version of "The Zombie Song."

Samantha burst into laughter, much to the startled ninja surrounding she and Victoria. "Nightcore. I honestly am not surprised. I love them! You don't happen to have 'Dam Dadi Do' on there do ya?"

"What in tarnation is that noise?" Obito, who had seemingly jumped a mile high, had an almost electrified look on his face. Samantha giggled.

"This is what we - civilized non-shinobi - like to call, techno music! The beautiful sounds of your TV right here!"

"TV's don't normally make that kind of noise…" Rin interjected, hesitant, but curious.

"Well. It's not actually a TV," Sam clarified, cheeks tinting red, "Just something that makes noise like a TV…" Wow… I'm explaining this so well. She turned to Victoria for some help.

Victoria snorted. "Imagine if someone tried to imitate the sound of a piano through an electronic speaker but messed with the frequency," she said, giving Sam a look of "wow, you made that so weird." "Technology-based music," Victoria continued. "It's something our clan experimented with. It's really popular on the other continent. Here, here, I'll get something more this world's speed.." If Himawari liked 90s boppers then her grandpa would have probably liked.. Victoria scrolled down through her 'Chillin' in the Car' playlist til she found "Hey Jude" by the Beatles. She would work them up to the awesomeness that was Queen later.

Rin's eyes went wide as the song popped up, Obito squinting like he was thinking deeply about the mechanics. Either that or he was simply suspicious of the song. Samantha smiled at their interest, turning to look at Kakashi, who had his own eyes narrowed, looking deep in thought with his eyes directed towards the phone.

"What do you think of the song, Kak- Hatake-San?" You'd think after so much time, she'd be used to saying his last name. Alas, it was not to be. Kakashi shrugged, silent for a small moment. A slow smile gradually tilted the edges of Sam's lips, "You like it. Don't you." She stated her question easily, enjoying how easy it was to see the young shinobi's interest.

"The music is fine enough, but I want to know more about the device. The navigation seems intuitive," he offered. "And the output from such a small device is impressive in both picture and audio quality. Overall, it seems… odd. That a clan hiding in a distant mountains would have a piece of technology that is so advanced as to have motion-tracking command sequences, and that its simple enough that a chakra novice could control it." His darkly silver eyes met Sam's squarely. "Unbelievable, really."

Victoria abruptly switched the music off, pressing the power button to lock her phone and then promptly shoved it into her bra far from the eyes and questions of short ones. "Well. Time to make that cake. But since there's no applesauce to be had, can I bribe you guys to run to the store for me? There's a few things we need to make a proper birthday cake but I gotta work on the main food too. What do you say, Obito, Rin, Hatake-san? Wanna make a few easy bucks?"

"Bucks" Obito repeated, "What is 'bucks'?"

"Oh! She, um, meant Ryo's." Sam smiled sweetly. "Money, essentially."

Obito's eyes alighted in recognition "Oh! You'd give us money?"

"Which," Rin piped up, "We obviously wouldn't be taking. Being ninja, and all." She gave Obito a look. He looked disappointed for only a second before he was back to grinning again.

"Of course we wouldn't take your money! We'll for sure go get the stuff you need from the store. It's Sam's birthday, after all!"

...

The party had been better than Sam had expected. Kushina had invited several of her friends (of which, Mikoto Uchiha had been a part of that friendship) and Sam had to smile bashfully when Kushina had made them bring her a gift. Even if the friends had no idea who she was, Sam appreciated the gesture Kushina made to have them be so generous.

Several kunai appeared in Samantha's gifts. A couple smoke bombs. A satchel to hold them all in, etc. Someone had even given her wire, though Sam was sure she'd never be able to use the stuff. Not in her mouth like Sasuke, anyhow.

Busy admiring one kunai that Kushina had given her - some awesome swirl etching engraved into the sharp edge - Samantha never noticed Kakashi having come closer. His skeptical gaze watching as she twisted the kunai in her hands.

"You're holding that kunai wrong." He deadpanned.

Samantha looked up, surprised, "Well, what do you expect? I've never truly thrown a kunai before. Besides… how can I hold a kunai the wrong way when I'm not even preparing to throw it?"

"Very carefully."

Blinking, Samantha narrowed her eyes before realizing Kakashi was trying his darndest to be friendly. Then promptly burst into laughter.

"Wow, Kakashi. I had no idea you had a humorous side!"

"Kakashi? Have a humorous side? I doubt it," Obito, holding a plate of cake in his hand, spoke through the mouthful he was currently chewing, effectively skewing his words.

Samantha giggled again. "It's too bad you missed it, Obito. It was quite brilliant."

Victoria gave a weak smile. She had been about to contradict Sam's claim about never throwing kunais but the brief and horribly vivid flashback of the fight in the canyon made her a little woozy. Over the past month she had slowly pieced all her memories of it together but it was still horribly difficult to think about, much less casually bring up in conversations. "Hatake-San is quite clever with puns," Victoria said, diving into the conversation. "But I can understand why you are surprised. After all, he wasn't born into the funniest clan." She paused just a second to let them all mentally consider which clan that could be before tossing on her punchline. "You know: the Uciha-ha-has."

Obito's surprise was worth more to Samantha than the actual joke itself. While hilarious in and of itself, Obito blinking in slight shock before laughing made Samantha laugh herself.

"That was amazing!" Obito laughed, wiping a tear from his eye.

Victoria grinned proudly. "It was, wasn't it?" she said, dramatically tossing her hair over one shoulder. "I was worried it whou-bito much of a stretch," she said, trying to make the words 'would be too' into Obito's own name. "A bad pun Kakash and burn if not timed quite right."

Samantha giggled some more, shaking her head, "Whoa, guys. Look what you've gone and done. You broke her."

"If this is what happens when she breaks…" Obito laughed again. Rin smiled behind her hand.

"Kunai really be blamed for this?" Victoria protested. "I'm Rin-nnocent, I tell you! Rinnocent!"

"See? What'd I tell you? No one's safe!" Samantha gave the three shinobi wide eyes. Even if Kakashi looked unimpressed, Sam still played the part.

Kushina, having heard the laughter, bounded up to the group, Minato trailing behind, "You guys look like you're having a bunch of fun!" Kushina placed her hands on her hips, smiling widely. Minato had a smile as well, though his seemed to be directed towards his red-headed love.

Man. He's got it bad. Sam smirked to herself. "Tori's gone and gotten herself all punned up." Samantha explained.

Victoria patted Rin's shoulder sympathetically. "It's true. It's a deadly disease. I hope you aren't punished by contracting it yourself. Influpunza."

"She's hilarious!" Obito agreed.

"I did find her rather funny," Rin blushed.

"You ready to start those spars now?" Kushina asked the birthday girl, "We can't keep everybody all night, you know, cuz shift change is soon." At Sam's eager declaration that they should start the spars right away, Kushina fisted her hands on her hips and loudly barked out to the rest of the crowd that it was time for the real fun to start! The whole of the party grabbed coats and torches and tromped across the Uzamaki compound to the training grounds. The crowd of shinobis all spread themselves out, planning who would spar with each other as the Earthlings pulled their coats around them a little tighter. There was a sharp, cold bite to the night air that promised frost and possible snow before the morning. "Let's start with the third cutest among us," the redhead declared, pointing to the trio of youngsters. "You know what the birthday girl wants: show off the fancy stuff but don't kill anyone." She gave Obito a little wink.

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but everyone had formed a circle and there started the bout of spars. He goaded Obito into joining him and Samantha watched with awe fascination at the two young boys, sparring so effortlessly. A part of her was sad that such young kids had to know how to fight so well, but the other part was amazed and jealous. She wanted to be able to do what they did! Even though they sparred against each other, Obito was keeping up quite well. The two bunt arms and legs, keeping a pace that was easily visible for the audience to be able to watch. Or rather, making sure that Sam and Tori would be able to watch with their "civilian eyes". It was still impressive. A loud shout from Obito and an impressive fireball erupted from his mouth. The heat of it splashed over Samantha and she was breathless.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Minato said, quietly. Samantha jumped, not realizing the yellow flash had come to stand next to her and Victoria.

'Yes," Sam agreed, "It's quite beautiful." Even as she said that, Kakashi used his earth jutsu, a massive wall at least two stories high jutting from the ground, effectively blocking the fireball and blowing out its flames. "And Kakashi is very skilled to be able to block that fireball!" Sam looked around herself to see that the other Uchiha in at the party were watching the fight with analyzing eyes. Mikoto, who stood next to Kushina, however, had an expression that said she was impressed with the fight. Probably with Obito. He's come so far. Soon. The fight came to an end and the boys shuffled back to their little group.

"Wow! You guys were so awesome!" Samantha chimed.

"Dang, son!" Victoria cheered, clapping enthusiastically. "That was way cool! Both of you!" She gave Obito a high five and Tiny Kakashi an enthusiastic thumbs up. She turned back to Minato. "Hey, I have a question for you. Who cleans up stuff like this?" she asked, waving to the sineged earth wall before them. "Like, is there an insurance company the village uses? Or do y'all just roll with it and have random cliffs and waterfalls show up as a normal occurrence?"

Minato laughed sheepishly, "No. No, we do have a contingency plan for most places in the village. Most especially at our training grounds. Places like Kushina's home… because we have such skilled shinobi around, we can do the repair work ourselves. Otherwise it would cost a great deal to have someone come in and repair."

"So, basically, you're your own cleanup crew." Samantha summed up.

"Pretty much!" Kushina agreed, enthusiastically.

"Essentially," Minato said.

"Hey, that's cool," Victoria declared, watching as Kakashi sent his cliff wall back into the ground, the dirt rumbling in protest at being replaced. "I was a bit worried about the little foxes and snails and stuff that live where the battlefields pop up."

"We try to be careful," Rin said, looking a little fretful at the thought. "But when you are fighting to defend your team or the village, things can happen."

"Hey, this isn't supposed to be a sad party, you know!" Kushina interrupted, and then she sent Rin out to spar with a young Uchiha girl that had showed up with Kushina's friend. It was incredible to see all the different kinds of taijutsu and ninjutsu going on. One kunoichi even did a genjutsu for everyone: a nice one though where she showed them all as being in a starry night sky with fireworks exploding in brilliant showers of light.

"Well, I think it's just Minato and I left!" Kushina declared with a rather predatory grin.

"Wait!" Victoria interrupted. "I… I wanted to do my little thing," she said, blushing a little. Stepping out into the circle she gave a shy wave about. "This isn't going to be very good!" she warned everyone. "I am a total noob at all this, but I am gonna try my best." Victoria wiggled her hands nervously and drew in a deep slow breath. "Okay. Here we go." Reaching deep within, she felt her chakra rise up like a draft of warm, golden light. Raising her hands, Tori did the different hand signs, using them as a way to focus and visualize the jutsu. "Earth-Style Jutsu: Sandcastle!" she said, pushing the flow of chakra out, down through her feet, and into the earth ahead of her. Not daring to peek or even breathe, she pushed the chakra, willing it to lift and push the soil and sand and rocks up and up and up. And then the need to breathe cut her efforts short. Finally opening her eyes, Victoria laughed loudly at the little lop-sided row of dirt towers that she'd grown. None of them were over two feet tall, but they were hers: and she had made them with chakra. "Ta-da!" she declared, barely able to speak through her own laughter. "It's the most - most ridiculous little sand castle of all."

Samantha, while amused, was impressed. "Tori, that was amazing! I didn't know you had improved so much!" A part of Sam thought she should go and try to be impressive herself, but realized that she didn't have quite as impressive jutsu to try and quickly gave up on the idea.

"Ya know, for being a newbie at jutsu, you did pretty good." Obito commented, poking at one of the little dirt mounds.

Victoria laughed, hoping that in the glow of the torches and firelight that her blushing face and ears weren't too obvious. "The one I made yesterday during practice was actually way better than that. It was like, two whole inches bigger."

"Well, I'm definitely impressed." Obito continued despite Victoria's caveats.

"Me too!" Sam declared while Rin nodded her agreement. Kakashi 'humphed' but said nothing more. Samantha liked to think that he was impressed, too, but was too bashful to say anything more.

"Definitely an improvement to your skills," Kushina complimented.

"Thanks," Tori said shyly. "It's thanks to all your help, Kushina-chan."

"Now how can I follow that up?" Minato asked, in his angelic-man voice.

"Pff, Sensei, you're just being modest." Obito said, forgetting that tact was something to be revered. Samantha tried to hide her smile.

"In any case, it'll just be cool to see what you do." Sam turned to look at Minato. He gave her a heart-pounding smile Holy sexy beast his smile is amazing Samantha could look but not touch. She could appreciate someone's appearance even if they were taken. No harm done. Besides… whew!

"Now… Who should I have as my sparring partner?"

"Minato, dear, you could out-do every single person here." There were nods of agreement from the other adults in the room. Kushina laughed at Minato's tiny, but dramatic, pout. "Oh alright. I'll be your sparring partner!"

"Wonderful!" Minato said, as if that had been his plan all along.

The atmosphere around them all seemed to fizzle brighter with anticipation and excitement as Minato and Kushina squared up across each other. As they both raised their hands in the seal of confrontation, Victoria took a half step forward. "Oh, my sand castle," she mumbled, just remembering that she hadn't cleaned it up like all the others had. A small hand shot out to stop her from stepping any further onto the spar grounds.

"You don't want to go in there," Kakashi muttered, not looking up at her. "Worse idea than the canyon."

Victoria blanched but siddled backwards. "I just hope one of them doesn't trip because of it," she fretted.

Kakashi probably snorted at that, but it was hard to tell under the sudden roar of flames as Kushina released a dragon made of flames from a scroll. Her fire-red hair billowed behind her as she lept backwards, anticipating which direction Minato might go. Minato's yellow hair seemed to be the only thing that lingered for a second as he blurred away to the other side of the grounds: literally moving too quickly for regular eyes to follow. Almost at the same second that Kushina landed in a fighting stance, Minato was there. Their arms and legs began meeting and parting in a series of blows so quick that it looked like dancing more than battle. Kushina let out a shout and swung both fists around in a hard blow to Minato's ribs. Victoria flinched, anticipating the cracking sound of broken ribs, but a cheery pop and poof of fog proved that that Minato was simply a shadow clone. Kusina had less than a second to raise a barrier around herself before a barrage of three-pronged kunai clattered and struck against her invisible barrier, black seal marks crawling quickly across the ground to keep pace with her as she darted to a further distance: obviously trying to get away from the kunai pelting down from a nearby tree. .

As she ran, Kushina's hands were moving rapidly in a series of signs and she gripped a scroll between her teeth. Minato was nowhere to be seen, but clearly that didn't mean he was out of the game as a sharp wind blew out of nowhere, tearing at Kushina's barrier almost as though it was dragging the chakra apart. Finishing the last hand sign, Kushina unraveled the scroll in her teeth with one hand and then shouted a release call. Suddenly a colossal dragon made of water swamped out of the scroll, whipping its tail through the crowd as it chased down the errant yellow flash and all his clones. Across the way, the other shinobis were shouting and cursing Kushina for getting them soaking wet considering the cold of the night. Victoria shouted in surprise when she saw the water dragon whip back around and plow through the crowd a second time to grab Obito.

"Hey! That's me!" Obito shouted from Sam's side, pointing at a second version of himself caught in the water. Kushina figured it out before Tori could put it together. Tightening her hand Kushina shouted triumphantly as the extra Minatos the dragon had ferreted out all poofed into bubbles within the dragon's sinuous water form. Just the Obito lookalike remained and he was clearly caught pretty fast in the swirling water.

But not tightly enough. The transformed Minato managed to get one hand free and with that cast a fire style jutsu that started to boil away the water cage. "Hey! No fair!" Kushina yelled, her hair whipping up in anger. She didn't even have a chance to counter before a seal shot out of the water and slapped onto Kushina's hip. Almost instantly the chakra-draining seal weakened her control on the dragon. "I taught you that jutsu, you know!" The Red Hot Habanero protested. She threw up her other hand, drawing on her impressive stores of chakra to regain control, but the moment of temper was her downfall because she missed the flicker of movement.

Behind Kushina, forgotten in the battle, was one of Minato's three pronged kunais, and from the seal printed on its handle suddenly sprouted out Minato in all his well-muscled glory. A faint blur and his toned arms encircled Kushina from behind: one holding her waist and the other holding a kunai to her throat, gently of course. "You taught me that one too," Sam and Victoria could just barely hear him murmur into Kushina's ear. A little louder he said "Do you yield, Miss Kushina?"

Victoria felt a little weak in the knees on Kushina's behalf. Dang, but that man is dangerously attractive!

Samantha watched the duo with awe and a twinge of a pang in her heart. Two things came to her during that fight. One: Sam felt a strong desire to learn such a strong water jutsu. If Kushina could do it, and Sam had nearly as much chakra as the Uzumaki woman, then surely she could one day produce something so strong. Second: her thought process went as such. That was… the sexiest thing I have ever seen! And a part of Samantha hoped that she'd find a love so passionate that it stirred her heart the way just watching Minato and Kushina did. Man… it really is such a tragedy that Naruto never got to grow up with his parents! He was denied so much! Watching Kushina blush feverishly and turn to punch Minato, claiming that he wasn't allowed to make her heart race so much in a fight, Samantha found that she didn't care about the timeline. She wanted Naruto to have his parents. Her eyes drifted towards Obito who was whooping with a fist in the air and Rin applauding, also yelling out her joy and Kakashi… Kakashi had a look in his eye Sam couldn't quite perceive. Knowing his past, Sam could make a guess. Most likely something to do with missing his dad… but Sam didn't want to make assumptions. She turned her eyes to Victoria who was also looking at the couple with as much awe as Sam and Sam knew Tori would want to do the same thing for Naruto as Samantha now wanted to do. The other dripping Uchiha clapped politely for the couple, and then, as the party was winding down after all the sparing, many made to leave. They gave last happy birthday wishes and pats on Minato and his team's back for a wonderful show. Kushina beamed alongside her… I think he's her fiance? If not, her boyfriend…? Samantha mentally shrugged.

"Wow… Minato is… holy crap!" Sam gushed to Tori, who knew Sam's unrequited crush with the blonde man.

Victoria was still fanning herself a little and nodded. "Yeah.. for real. Kushina was way cool and he was still like.. yeah. That's one scary op ninja, yo." Tori couldn't possibly discuss how hot he was, she still felt a bit like a voyeur for having seen the shared moment between the two shinobi. Tori ambled her way along the gravel path towards the house, helping Sam carry her presents. "Watching something like that, I really don't understand how we managed to not get taken out by those mercs. We must have the power of both heaven and anime on our side."

Samantha snorted, "Seriously! We really are in over our heads, aren't we…?" Samantha glanced back at the shinobi behind them a short distance away. Thoughts swirled in her head, nearly making her dizzy. "But honestly? I don't care. We're going to learn our jutsu and we're going to set things right! No matter what."

"I'm… kinda getting really worried that we haven't heard anything from Boruto yet," Tori confessed quietly. "Maybe we should inspect the rest of the scroll all the way. Make sure there aren't any other surprises," she added, thinking of her phone.

"Hm," Samantha chewed on her lip, "Well… if you think about it… the only times we've actually heard from Boruto and them is right after we've found the parchment piece. So… maybe that's why we haven't heard anything?" It was plausible, "But I agree. With not having heard from them in a month or so… we should definitely inspect that scroll all the way." Why haven't we done this before now, anyway? It was a 'never-to-be-answered' puzzle.

After the evening was all cleaned up and Kushina left for her turn on night guard duty, Tori and Sam met up in Tori's room with the last of the birthday cake and the scroll. Tori's phone was also set next to the scroll and Sam gently strummed on the acoustic guitar(ish) that Tori had gotten her for her birthday. "Okay," Tori said, carefully unraveling the scroll across the bed. "Let's see what we can decipher." She pointed a finger down at the scrolls with English words scrawled through them. "All these we know because we did them ourselves." She then pointed to the next section of seals. "These were the ones Obito helped us with right? So those are just camping supplies and blankets." And then that brought them to the food section. "Can you double check that all these just say ramen or burgers or whatever?" Victoria asked hopefully. Sam had been working on her kanji reading lately.

Samantha looked over the whole scroll, through all the available options for the two of them to use their jutsu and what would be the most effective to pull out. Most of it was food. She chewed her lip as she looked over everything (though she was beginning to read kanji better than she had when they first landed in Konoha, she still couldn't remember the meanings for every one of them). "Well," Sam said, "Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary." Her eyes continued to scan, then lit up, "Hey! My hat!"

"No," Tori said flatly and firmly. "That hat almost got us killed by Might Guy, remember?" She plopped her hand over the seal to hide it. "That's waiting 'til we get home, girly."

Samantha pouted, "I guess you're right…" She sighed, lamenting the fact that she didn't have her Zelda hat on when they were transported. If only, if only the woodpecker sighed. "But at least we were able to see that nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Well… except for the kanji I can't read. But I think the pictures speak for themselves." Sam flicked the scroll, nodding matter-of-fact.

"Honestly… I think I'm starting to at least recognize the shapes of the kanjis now," Tori admitted, scrolling her finger down the rows to check for any other inconsistencies. "I have no idea what they mean or how to say them or anything, but it doesn't just all blend together as gobbledygook anymore. I bet it's all the page flipping at the library. My brain's so bored it soaked some up." Victoria pushed her glasses up. "Maybe when we get Earth-side I'll finally learn Japanese with ya."

Samantha's face lit up in a large smile, "Yes! That'd be so cool! And then we could totally speak Japanese together and it'd be so fun!" She'd been dying to have a friend learn Japanese with her. In part because it would give Sam more motivation to truly learn the language, and also because it would be just as she said. Fun. "I'm not surprised that you've begun to recognize the kanji. I wish I could be more help to you in knowing what it said. I'm afraid my skills at Kanji aren't as impressive yet…" shrugging, Sam looked over the scroll, "I can't believe that apple picture was your phone! In retrospect… we probably should've realized that…"

"It's been kind of a hard life so far," Tori pointed out lightly. "Not surprised our cognitive skills are a little low right now what with all the near death experiences and guys hot enough to literally melt the brains out of our ears.." She unraveled a little more and got to where the 'applesauce' had lived. "Okay, let's open each of these just so we know for sure what we are dealing with."

"Alright! I'm ready." Sam said in her best Anastasia voice, pulling up a fake sleeve.

Tori started to release the seals, the ability to raise just the right amount of chakra for the task basically second nature at this point. (She had been doing lots of practice once the doctors declared her fit for use again.) Most of the contents were exactly what they expected: blank notebooks, pens, an empty set of the weird floating fanny packs that ninjas seemed to favor, and the froggy purse. Victoria rolled her eyes at Sam's fan-girl squealing over it again, and then she undid the third to last seal: revealing a hand-sewn book. Flipping it open, she saw that it was a series of diagrams of different finger signs. Carefully written across the top was a series of painstakingly spaced out hiragana. Victoria turned it around. "Hey! This looks like a jutsu instruction page, right? Sam, can you read those across the top?"

"Daiyō-jutsu," Sam pronounced aloud, reading the hiragana. She wasn't the fastest reader, but she also wasn't so slow that her pronunciation was stilted. She looked up at Victoria, who seemed to look almost astonished. "What?"

"Substitution jutsu," Tori whispered. "I - I think that's what you said, but that's not the sounds I heard, right? You actually said like "Dai-oh" or something, right? My brain heard it as 'Substitution jutsu.'"

Samantha blinked in her own astonishment, "Da-ee-yo-ooo." She supplied, not registering what Tori said for another second longer, "Wait… you… understood me? In English?"

Tori grabbed the manual and turned it a few pages forward. "Try this one."

Samantha shuffled her head to look at the jutsu Victoria was pointing at, "Tō Akira-jutsu!" she couldn't help the enthusiasm her voice held.

"Distant hearing," Tori said automatically. "Or, far-hearing. Something like that."

A slow smile began to grow on Samantha's face, her eyes sparkling. "Do you know what this means?"

"We can know what we are ordering at restaurants again?"

Sam scoffed, "No! It means that if words are in hiragana - or have hiragana above kanji - we can actually learn how to read Japanese! Can you imagine how much easier this is gonna be!?"

"That is true!" Victoria said brightly. "Oo! This makes things so much easier doesn't it?" She smiled brightly, her blue eyes sparkling. "It's not perfect, of course, but just having a bit of a way to be literate again: man, that's so good! We will have to test this out with some other things. And!" She wiggled the book. "Try out some of these jutsus!"

"Heck yeah we're gonna have to! Wow… this was so thoughtful of Boruto and them to give us. And super useful! At least… it will be once we are able to control the basics better." A small squeal erupted from Sam's lips. "I'm so happy! I wish there was a way to thank them." Her brow furrowed at the thought, "Come to think of it… I wonder if we could. Couldn't we just talk back to them through that ball like we've done before? Maybe we should try it."

Victoria looked less comfortable with that idea. "Um… Maybe? But I think I'll put my shoes on and put the scroll away first. Don't want to risk ending up who-knows-where without shoes or anything useful again. Did that with toadman. Not repeating it now."

"Do you really think that we'll get sucked in again? I mean… we haven't found that parchment paper yet…" Sam's skepticism was quite evident. "They'd not want us to leave without that. I'm pretty sure… based off past experience…" She was second guessing herself, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to be prepared."

"Let's finish the scroll goal first," Tori said. "And we can try contacting Boruto tomorrow when we are all ready to bug out if needed. I'm not living a triple day with no night again. That was terrible." After Sam's agreement, Victoria went back to the scroll. "Alright, just two left. This one has a little flame symbol… I'm guessing matches or a lighter."

"Oo that would be extremely handy! I'm totally no good at making fire. My sister got that ability."

"Obito's your sister?" Victoria teased with fake shock as she undid the seal. Real actual flames started burning a scant inch above the scroll and that shock very quickly became real. "RAMEN!" Tori shrieked, leaping from the bed. Somehow her brain had jumped from "dangerous fire" to "our scroll might burn" to "if the scroll burns all our food is gone." to "that means Sam's ramen too." With the adrenaline-fueled logic that somehow kept her alive thus far, Victoria snatched the tiny bowl of practice dirt she kept on her nightstand and dumped it on the flames shrieking "Earth-Style Jutsu: Sandcastle!" The tiny pile of dirt valiantly lifted itself up into a spindly little tower: the flame now a full six inches above the scroll like some bizarre dirt candle. "Ack! Ack! What do we do?" Victoria fretted, "We can't throw water, it'll ruin the scroll!"

Samantha, for her part, while she had jumped back in shock at the actual flames, the second Victoria screamed "ramen" in retaliation to the surprise, Samantha was in stitches. In fact, she nearly fell over with laughter when Tori used her earth jutsu to try and squelch the fire. "Well. At least we know the fire will stay lit!" She laughed again, the feeling of wanting to laugh being so nice. Sam felt like it had been forever since she really wanted to laugh herself into fits. When she finally got control of herself, she placed a hand on Tori's shoulder, still stifling some giggles, "You do know that it's not gonna place the scroll on fire, right? It's a jutsu, after all." Sam giggled some more, "And we can just seal it back away, right? Er… you can? 'Cause I'm not as good at it?" She gave her panicking friend a large smile.

"There's a fire," Tori said, clearly still processing the threat level as high. "On my bed. Like, floating there. It's a fire."

"Mhm," Sam agreed. "That's true." Her eyes couldn't seem to move away from the fireball. She just stared at the fire: partially in awe that it could just… float there, above the scroll. "I wonder if we just turned the scroll upside down if we'd be able to light a fire that way." She thought about it some more, "Or, I suppose we could just stick some sticks in the fire and see if they light that way… that might be more efficient. Either way… this is exciting!" Sam walked close to the fire, placing a hand nearby as if to warm herself. "Yup! It's definitely got some heat emanating from it."

"But I moved it," Tori said. "With the dirt. To save your ramen." She stopped in her worried pacing and shook her head several times. "Dang, that's just - just the coolest creepy thing, isn't it?" She shook her head a few more times to try to reset her cognitive functions. "Why the heck would those kids seal fire away in a scroll? Like that seems like a horrible idea."

"Maybe they saw how terrible we were at making our own fire? Man… we really suck as cavemen, don't we?"

Tori laughed a little at that, her nerves still jangling as the fire peacefully blazed away atop her tiny tower. "So bad," she agreed. Hesitantly, she took a half step back towards the bed and its weird pyrotechnics. "I guess if it came out, it can go back in, right? And we've sealed like sopping wet clothes in before. Fire can't be that much worse.."

"Exactly!" Sam agreed, "You'll be fine! I totally believe in you." She stepped back from the bed, allowing room for Tori to work.

"Then why are you backing away?" Tori pointed out as she pushed up her sleeves and did the tiger finger sign to help her focus and concentrate before attempting the seal.

Samantha smiled rather than reply, waiting to see the result of her best friend resealing fire into the scroll. "Man… having the ability to use jutsu is super convenient. I wish we had this forever!"

"It'd make taking out the trash easier," Victoria agreed. Finally feeling steadier, she strode forward with a totally feigned boldness and did the familiar re-sealing jutsu without giving herself another moment to pause and fret. The flames innocently sealed away just as her tiny soil tower collapsed in a little poof of dust. "Bwah. That was mildly terrifying. Good to know that now rather than in the middle of the wilderness though, I guess."

"Huh. I wonder if the woods would've actually caught on fire," Sam mused, "Definitely a good thing that we tried this out here." She looked around the room, "Definitely glad that it wasn't flammable." She contemplated the thought a moment longer, "I'm definitely glad my guitar didn't catch on fire!" A pregnant pause. "Well. Now what?"

…...

Now what turned into the two of them going to sleep, and Samantha waking early in the morning. She was never good at sleeping a long time. Especially when her nerves were on end. Half wondering if her bestie was awake yet, Samantha clambered out of the bed sheets, allowing her socked feet onto the wooden floor and quietly found the scroll that she brought into her room the night before. With the sun seeming to be barely popping its rays onto the earth, it gave enough light that Sam could see perfectly just what she was looking at on the scroll. If only slightly dimmed.

Opening the scroll, Samantha stared at its contents, half in awe that this was a thing and half in awe that this was a thing. It was moments like this that Sam had to really look at her surroundings to remind herself that they weren't in the real world. Still, a part of Sam wondered if she weren't in a coma and dreaming all this up. Then again, with Tori's wit, I highly doubt I could come up with something that I could clearly remember.

She was rolling her eyes over all the items sealed away, until she came upon one that had her name underneath it, written in Katakana. She knew it well. She'd written it so many times herself in Japanese class.

"Hm… I wonder what this could be?" That particular kanji was unfamiliar to Samantha, and so… with the light of the sun growing brighter, she took a breath, placing both hands on the scroll where she wanted to unseal the specific item. She could feel the chakra buzzing within her, using the exercises which Kushina taught her to wield that power, and gasped wtih joy when it worked.

With a poof, the item appeared on top of the scroll and Samantha's jaw dropped slightly. I'd completely forgotten about this! Looking upon the three-pronged kunai, Sam felt her heart beating faster with the realization that the actual man who could use this particular item was actually around. She looked around herself, somehow feeling like she would be in trouble by the man in question just for having the kunai. Can he sense it? Now that I've taken it out of the seal? Is that even a possibility? She reeeally hoped not.

"I should probably put this back…" Sam muttered aloud. Victoria was by far better at doing this than Samantha, but without the knowledge that her friend was awake, Samantha didn't want to risk Minato seeing that she was in possession of one of his kunai. Thinking it like that… it's like I'm stealing… but I'm really not.. Hm. She eyed the kunai, handling it with reverent care, before setting it back down and drawing another breath. Using her practiced form, Samantha had to concentrate just a little harder to actually seal up the kunai, but let out a loud "yes" when she was successful. She looked around herself, hoping to share her excitement with Tori when she realized that her friend wasn't in the same room as her.

Then. Her stomach growled.

Sheepishly, Samantha stood up, shaking out her legs from the lingering effects of nearly falling asleep, and walked out of her room, hoping to find a decent meal. As luck would have it, as she trundled to the kitchen, she could hear the distant voices of Tori and the three stooges, and with it, a divine smell.

"I'm just saying, Hatake-San," Tori could be heard to say, "It wouldn't hurt you to throw me a compliment once in awhile. Rin and Obito-Kun do it all the time and for that they are rewarded with my undying love and extra pancakes."

"Gewd Parnkafs," Obito confirmed around a huge mouthful of food.

Victoria wielded a spatula at the large hibachi griddle that dominated the center island of Kushina's kitchen. Various things were frying away including eggs, bacon, and several face-sized pancakes sprinkled with chocolate chips. "They are good pancakes, Obito, I agree," Tori said as she added a dash of salt to the eggs.

"Fine. I'm impressed you understood that drivel." The sulky silver-haired shinobi stood off to the side, not sitting at the stool beside Rin despite the empty plate it offered.

"Mm, close, but you lose the point for using it as a chance to be mean to someone else," Victoria responded patiently. "Try again."

Kakashi gave the same long-suffering sigh as always and then glanced over at Sam as she came in the room.

"Well. Looks like I walked into something ominous." Sam cheekily smiled, "And dude, your pancakes smell so good, Tor!" Grabbing a plate for herself, Samantha piled on two pancakes, then spread raspberry jam (or the equivalent) over her breakfast and began to eat. "Mm, mm, mm. This is so good!" Sam said between bites. "Thanks, Tor!" Samantha smiled at the squinting Kakashi. "Have you eaten already, then, Kakash-uuh, Hatake-San?"

"Hatake-San has not eaten," Victoria tattled, "Because he is anxious to start the day at the archives. I pointed out we couldn't go 'til you joined us anyways but he would rather stand in readiness than relax and try my cooking."

Samantha observed Victoria closely, noting that her friend, while speaking cheerfully, didn't make eye contact with anything but the pancake she was flipping as she said this and Sam frowned. She knew her friend. She knew that Tori needed those she cared about to acknowledge her achievements, and Sam could see by Tori's avoidance that she had probably felt a little bit hurt by Kakashi's shunning.

"I promise, even if I wanted to poison you, Hatake-San, I wouldn't even know how." Victoria continued.

"A shinobi on duty doesn't accept favors," the small Kakashi declared. "Especially from someone he doesn't trust."

"Wow. That's harsh," Samantha frowned, placing her fork on her plate.

"C'mon, Kakashi," Rin tried to placate, "They're really good. Besides! Obito and I ate them and nothing happened to us. Do you really think that Victoria-San would poison us in Kushina-Chan's home?"

"Yeah! Stop being stupid, Kakashi." Obito agreed, taking another bite of his extra pancakes.

"Well, I don't trust them," Kakashi said, folding his arms over his chest. "Neither of them. I think we shouldn't let our guard down around these two at all. They are obviously not who they say they are."

"Hey! We're not that untrustable. We're completely trustworthy. Just because you don't know every detail of our lives doesn't mean you can't trust us. Good grief." Sam said, exasperated.

Obito frowned, eyeing his teammate, then sighed. "Kakashi is a little right, though." He turned towards Samantha and the careful avoidance of Victoria's eye contact, her back still facing the group, "Firstly, these are definitely not poisoned, Bakakashi. But you two do seem to be… different. It's hard to fully believe your story when your hair is just so…." he waved his hands in the air, trying to think of the word.

Samantha rose an eyebrow, suddenly worried and also surprised that even Obito was agreeing with Kakashi's assessment.

"Losing its colorful essence?" Rin supplied.

"Yeah, that!" Obito cheered.

"Well… you have heard of hair dye, haven't you?" Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah, surely you guys as ninjas have reasons to change your appearance for missions," Victoria said, plunking a pancake down a little too forcefully on a plate for Sam. "Is it not okay for civilians to do it for fun? My normal hair color is rather boring and ugly for my complexion if you must know."

"Exactly. For missions. For subterfuge." Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "It's a trademark of shinobis, not civilians."

"You've never wanted to change your appearance just for fun?" Sam blinked.

"He wears that little face mask thing, Sam," Tori pointed out before Kakashi could reply. "I don't think he even wants an appearance besides the forehead protector."

Kakashi shot Victoria a sharp look, but then pointed instead to Victoria's phone where it was very quietly playing a Studio Ghibli soundtrack. "You aren't equipped like civilians. You have tech no one has ever heard of. No one. I checked with the Offensive Strategies Unit myself last night."

Victoria grew pale at that. If Kakashi had spoken to a tactical unit about her freaking phone, that was going to bring down more scrutiny than what their cult excuse could possibly support.

"I guess that was probably a good move if you're suspicious…" Sam muttered her grudging praise, "But that doesn't automatically mean we're suspicious! What have our actions done to give precedence to your concern?" Sam felt just a tiny bit weird to be arguing with a thirteen year old. At least… she hoped he was at least thirteen. (In a different world, back on earth, Masashi Kishimoto cried to the sky 'he's nine!')

"It was the sandcastles," Victoria declared solemnly. She tossed the last pancake off the griddle and crossed around the end of the counter to stand closer to Sam, physically taking a stand beside her, arms crossed, and a spatula still held up in her hand like a pharaoh's staff of office. "That's what sealed your suspicions, wasn't it?"

Kakashi gave her a look that was both baffled and annoyed. "No. Your sandcastles, as you called them, have nothing to do with it."

"Oh, was it the repetitive page flipping then? Or - oh no. It was my incessant puns, wasn't it, that labeled us as enemies of the state?"

"Uh, well." Sam half whispered, "I guess you could call our page flipping suspicious. I mean… who spends that much time in a library? Er, well… except us, of course." Blast. Sam thought. We really need to find that parchment piece. That is super weird for ninja, isn't it? "Anyway!" Sam picked up her fork to eat another bite of pancakes.

Tori tilted her head, feeling a little dangerous and certain that pushing things just slightly might actually help toss suspicions off them in a reverse-psychology sort of way. Tori was so not wanting to see what the nasty ninja jail looked like 40 years before Tsunade threw them in it the first time... "I'm curious what he thinks we are really up to, Sam," Tori said in a lower but obviously audible voice. "Espionage wouldn't make any sense seeing as we literally never leave the house without an escort. And, well, frankly, he's probably noticed by now that we can't actually read. So what do you think his theory is?"

"Maybe we're ghosts possessing these bodies? I mean… the paranormal, right? Totally creepy and ghosts could totally have the smarts of a shinobi. Oh! Oh! Maybe it's a shinobi ghost!" Samantha wiggled her eyebrows at the three young shinobi, (internally giggling at Tori's quiet 'Okay, Danny Phantom'), a small smile forming on the corners of her lips. The incredulous look Obito was giving was quite priceless.

"Oo, or time travelers," Victoria offered, "Coming from the distant future with a single goal: to kill Sarah Connor. Maybe we are secretly robots, not humans at all. You know: 'I'll be bacccck,''" she added, imitating Arnold Schwarzengar from the Terminator movies.

Samantha laughed outright, accidentally spitting a piece of pancake back onto her plate, "Man... poor Sarah Connor. She never saw it comin'."

"Whose Sarah Connor?" Obito asked Kakashi quietly.

The younger boy 'tsk'ed in disgust. "They are being sarcastically obtuse," he said flatly. "Next, they will try to tell us they are gods in search of a new temple."

"Nope," Victoria said brightly, "Just aliens from another dimension brought in to save your future butt, Hatake-San."

"Precisely!" Sam agreed, chomping the last bite of her pancake. "Man that was delicious. You're seriously missing out, dude." Samantha directed her comment toward Kakashi who made no comment of his own while Sam placed her plate in the sink.

"She's not wrong," Victoria said, her arms tightening around herself just slightly; she was about to try to stick up for herself. ...Hopefully it wouldn't start a screaming match like it did the day after the canyon debacle... "After all, having someone who wants to take care of you: make you food, greet you at the door, wash your socks: that kind of thing should never be overlooked. Any warrior who belittles the strength of heart that caregiving takes… well I think that that kind of a person shouldn't be trusted to fight for a village if he or she doesn't actually care and respect the people who are trying to help them."

Samantha nodded her head in agreement. "Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise!" she quoted Twister. It was appropriate for this moment, she thought.

Tori's lips twitched and she just shook her head at Sam's cheekiness. "This Rabbit is also a little tired of ungrateful kids, but oh well." She pulled off her apron and set it down on the counter. "I'm gonna go change, but I'll be back to clean up." She grabbed her phone and quickly hurried off so she wouldn't have to continue living in that uncomfortable moment even a second longer.

After she left, Kakashi huffed a little, shaking his head. "I'm still reporting all this to Minato-sensei," he warned Sam. "Something is clearly off and you can bet the Leaf Shinobi will get to the bottom of it."

"Go ahead," Samantha shrugged, unconcerned. She had nothing to hide. Well… we do but… "Whatever floats your boat."

"I still don't get it," Obito muttered crossly, "Who is Sarah Connor?"

* * *

 **A/N: HEY! So... We're back from the dead with a freakin' long chapter! Yay! Just in time for New Years! w00t! Hope you all enjoyed the lovely filler fluff that is this chapter. Next chapter isn't gonna be so filler as this one. Hah. But! There IS a purpose to all this filler fluff, just so's you know! There's a purpose in it. Promise! Anyway... thank you for reading you lovely readers, you.**

 **Please Review if you get a chance! It makes our day AND... well.. we would cry for joy. Probably just as loudly as Sam and Tori would when learning and succeeding at new jutsu. Or Obito when seeing Minato win his amazing fight. Whew! But yes. **


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen: ...That Reality Doesn't Take a Snow Day

Winter was setting in for real now. Two weeks had passed since Sam's birthday, but that time had resulted in a surprisingly crowded Konoha. Apparently ninja wars went on pause (kinda) once the snows came in for the simple reason that it was harder to wage war or to conduct stealth missions when you were freezing and the snow and ice gave away your location too easily. So with the influx of the incoming shinobi and the shuffling about to help house the expanded ground troops of the fire nation's army, Kakashi's justified concerns about the legitimacy of Sam and Victoria's origins got shuffled aside. All of the village's leadership was so busy, there wasn't anyone to spare, so Team Minato sans Minato continued as they had: escorting Victoria and Samantha back and forth to the archives and supervising their book scouring, even if Kakashi spent the whole time glaring at them more than watching for possible interlopers. _Or maybe it's just that we are the interlopers.._ Victoria admitted to herself. _So he's watching exactly what he thinks the danger is._

Flipping through the pages of what appeared to be some sort of plumbing specs manual, Victoria found she kept looking over at Kakashi rather than her book. It was still rather weird to her how different he was as a kid versus an adult. But trauma could do strange things. It seemed like right now, considering the death of his father and all that, that for most people, that would be enough damage to bring them to a life-changing point. But for this kid, it was just gonna be the beginning. It would end up being the death and loss of literally every one of the most important people in his life that would be the ashes he'd grow from. It was crazy, and a little heartbreaking to think about but..

 _If life is truly eternal, as I believe, then death is temporary, even in this world. There is a heaven where he'll see his friends and family sooner than he could have imagined. So, like a phoenix, the Kakashi that he could and will become, will only be possible because of the holocaust of horrible things that happen to him between now and then._ Victoria sighed softly, feeling the heaviness of perspective. She flipped forward a couple of pages before she heard a distant commotion near the entrance. It seemed to catch everyone's attention, even Obito looked up from where he'd been messing with a finger-puzzle. "Do those people not know this is a library?" Victoria said, leaning her chair backwards to see around the far bank of shelves. There was a cluster of people in the battle fatigues and tactical vests all talking and gesturing. At their center was a series of three people. Tori's eyes went huge as she recognized the giant, spiky white hair of the wildman she and Sam had met in the woods. And next to him: the crowds parted for a second and revealed the busty blonde who some forty-odd years into the future would throw Sam and Tori into ninja-jail. _Jiraiya! Tsunade! Then is that other guy.._

Across the hallway, the crowd of lesser shinobis that surrounded the legendary Sannin ebbed and flowed, parting again momentarily so that Victoria could finally spot the tall black-haired one in the middle. _That must be the Orochimaru guy Sam warned about_. He was tall, and pale, like super-super-Dracula-would-be-jealous pale. Tori felt the back of her neck tingle a little with that fizzle of warning that kept her safe from the dangers of creepers, awkward social encounters, and hot men alike. She was embarrassed to feel her ears grow hot as she studied the villainous Sannin's sharply angled features and ridiculously silky black hair. _Awh, dang it._ Tori abruptly sat forward, staring at her book fiercely as though it could block out the fizzy feeling of attraction. _Two crushes in less than two months? Forge-et that! And didn't Sam say he was a bad guy? The last thing we need right now, Victoria, is a stupid villain fangirl thing going on. It's just the stupid guyliner. Forget about it. Like, instantly, please._

"Look, we can argue about tactics later," Tsunade's voice cut loudly across the rest of the group. "But I've been off duty for twelve minutes now and I'm not putting in any free overtime. I'm gonna get a drink."

The crowd started to splinter, heading back towards the door. Over it, they could hear Jiraya saying "Hey, I'll go with you on that, Tsunade!"

"Stay out of my way, you pervert."

 _That's right, hormones, stay out of my way._ Victoria chided herself. She closed the book with a sharp snap.

Samantha, for her part, had looked up the moment Victoria spewed her annoyance. Sam's heart nearly stopped when she realized that the Sannin were in the library. A part of her wanted to go and say 'Hey! You guys are so cool I am so excited to officially meet you without getting thrown in jail or the hospital!' but that would obviously not go over well. Chewing on the thought, Sam's eyes found their way to the one who caused some of the major issues in the Naruto franchise to begin with. _Orochimaru…_ Sam narrowed her eyes, taking in the figure who was so repulsive to her, she couldn't imagine how people trusted this man so explicitly.

As with any unseen force that causes one's senses to recognize a stare, Orochimaru turned his eyes in their direction and Sam startled, looking away quickly, heart pounding. _He didn't see me looking at him, did he?_ Her mind worried the thought. They did _not_ need any undue attention. Sam glanced up and noticed the creepy snake sannin watching them with tiny interest smoldering in his slitted eyes. It was repulsive to Sam, the hammering of her heart unsettling her body, and she curled her fists to keep them from trembling too much. Deciding she did not want to have anything more to do with the man that was probably already betraying the village with his experiments, Samantha physically turned her body to face a different direction, pulling another book into her lap.

When she flipped through the pages, she sighed loudly. "I can't seem to find anything in here, either. This feels useless… we've been at this for so long…" Sam turned another page, "Ne, Tori, are you done for today?" Knowing Orochimaru saw them left Sam feeling too unsettled to really concentrate. She needed to move. To get up and do _something_.

Tori jumped a little as Sam's question cut through her inner debate on 'what's the stupidest crush I've ever had'. "Done?" she repeated, still processing the question. "Oh. Done. Um, yeah. Yeah. We could be done, I think. Rin? Hatake-san? Obito-kun? Do you guys wanna go?"

Rin started to nod and then sneezed harshly three times: the fourth or fifth time in the course of the day this had happened. "That's probably a good idea," the girl said, with the bleary congested sound of someone with a cold coming on.

Victoria glanced out the window where snow was still falling, clouds overhead promising that a bigger storm would break before the night was through. "I don't like the sound of that sneezing, Rin-Chan. I think maybe you should skip the long trip out to Kushina's place. Get yourself some vitamin c and maybe a hot tea."

Rin sniffled and tried to protest but sneezed again. Obito shoved his finger puzzle in his pocket and grabbed Rin another tissue from the box. "Yeah, Rin. You sound like you're getting sick. I can," his cheeks went bright red with the offer, "Walk you home, if you want."

The purple-stripes on Rin's cheeks were momentarily hidden by the tissue as Rin blew her nose. "Um, but then Kakashi would be all on his own," Rin worried.

"It's not that much farther," Obito pointed out.

"Rin-chan, a storm is coming in," Victoria added, "I think Obito's idea is a good one. Hatake-San can escort us if needed, and I personally promise to not give him a hard time at all if you promise to rest up and stay warm."

"I agree with them," Sam piped up, "You should definitely get some rest. Being sick is a terrible thing. Makes you lose too much energy." The five of them stood, Rin letting out another sneeze as she did so. _Putting as much distance between us and that creepy Orochimaru I think is a good idea._ Sam glanced back, relieved to see that the sannin and their group of followers were gone.

At the door, they all bundled back up in coats, cloaks, and furry hats. Rin asked Kakashi again if he was okay with the plan, to which he just shrugged. All decked out, the small group scurried away into the falling drifts. At the edge of the main town, Obito and Rin pulled off towards Rin's home at the nin-dog medical facility. Once they'd left, Victoria tilted her head up towards the snowy stars and let out a big sigh. "Man. I was so not feeling it today for parchment searching. I think I need a weekend."

"I know, right?" Sam agreed, "My brain felt like it was gonna explode from all that searching." If she had to sit still for another day, her anxiety would heighten for no reason whatsoever.

"I feel like nothing's changing anymore. I gotta like, move some furniture," Tori said. "Or color my hair or something. I thought practicing those new jutsus last night would help break the sameness but.." Tori sighed gustily, sending a few flakes spiraling quickly. "I have no idea how you are handling it, Sam. You must be bored out of your gourd at the archives."

"Yeah, I _really_ am." Sam's fingers twitched while they walked, "I have too much energy that I need to get rid of or something! Like sparring or something… I feel like we haven't really relaxed in ages." Looking over, Sam watched while Tori messed with the edges of her hair then looked down at her own, "My hair could probably use more dye, too… I have no idea how to do that here."

"I feel like we should ask Kushina about it," Victoria declared. "Because my roots are looking so bad at this point, that I'm surprised a farmer hasn't come along to try planting turnips in my hairline."

"Yeah," Sam pouted, pulling the ends of her hair as well, "My hair has faded a lot, too. That beautiful blue color doesn't look so pretty anymore!"

"But the worst part is that the ninja village is like a walking pinterest board for crazy hair colors and cuts. It makes me so jealous! I wanna have pretty hair too, ya know."

"It's so unfortunate that they have natural hair colors that are bizarre. Too bad that wasn't the same for us. Kushina is probably our best bet for knowing how to remedy our situation." The gravel crunched while they walked; Kakashi silent and brooding next to Sam. _He probably doesn't know how to change hair colors… I doubt he'd care about that kind of thing. Not when he has spectacularly natural silver hair!_

Tori frowned at the ends of her hair. "So… who's hair would you most like to have?" she asked Sam. "Like, Kushina's is totally beautiful, but it's also pretty normal by our home's standards other than the color."

"I was hoping to have my blue color still... It's light and pretty and almost metallic in its natural state. Well… as natural as it can be, of course." Sam smiled, the cheek in her voice a telling sign that she knew exactly that a blue hair color _wasn't_ natural.

Tori laughed brightly at that. "Well, I would totally adopt Pinky's hair if I could, but with it creeping towards winter, I think I'd like something darker. Like maybe a deep, dark purple. Ooh, or Hinata's color. Do you remember that? That deep midnight blue that was almost black?"

"Oooh! That's so true! I-" Sam began before being interrupted.

"Doesn't he have orange hair?" Kakashi asked abruptly from where he tromped along beside them.

"What?" Sam looked at the boy, trying to figure out where in the world he had gotten the idea that Hinata had orange hair.

"Orange, spiky hair," Kakashi repeated. The two women stopped and turned around to look at him in confusion. Kakashi gave a long sigh, hunching his shoulders as he did. Then he straightened up and in a much more animated expression and voice said "Then this short kid with orange spikey hair jumps up so freaking high and _wham_! It hits the other side like _whoosh_. And the others are none-the-wiser."

Tori blinked and then started to laugh. "He totally just imitated you, Sam!" she said between laughter. "That sounded just like you!"

Sam blinked, astonished, then a sly smile lit up her face, "You were listening." Listening clear back when she, Tori, and Kakashi had been making their slow and laborious way through the hills before the memorable canyon fight. Listening even back when he kept threatening to kill the both of them.

Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly, but the way the tiny kid adjusted his face mask and then hunched his shoulders totally gave away the fact he was a little embarrassed. "Hard to miss when you two talk even louder than Obito snores."

Tori was still giggling. "Hatake-San, I didn't know you were so good at impressions. They should call you the 'Copycat Ninja' or something." She smirked a little to herself at the totally intentional foreshadowing.

Samantha snorted herself, nearly rolling her eyes. They'd only begun calling the silver-haired shinobi the 'Copycat Ninja' once he'd gained his reputation with the sharingan. Her smile dimmed for just a split moment. _We're gonna change that!_ she thought, determined. "You know," Sam continued her cheekiness, "I have more of that story I can tell you, you know. There's much that I didn't get to tell Tori!"

Kakashi tilted his head slightly without looking up at them.

Tori's eyes glittered with recognition. "Maaaaybe you should tell me the next part of it, Sam," she drawled. "Since we've still got a bit of a walk back to the compound…" Since that was obviously something that the little grumpy one wanted but was too proud to ask for.

"Okay!" Sam agreed, ever excited to talk about the amazing volleyball anime that her roommate had got her obsessed with. Especially if it meant that Victoria would be just as interested in watching it, too.

Victoria really wasn't any more interested in watching Haaikyu than before, but she was glad to have found some small way to make Kakashi happy. So she 'oohed' and 'dang son!'ed at all the right parts, grinning happily at her bff and future friend as they shuffled their way home through the softly falling snow.

* * *

"Why didn't Kushina tell us about the nice indoor, heated dojo _before_ now?" Victoria mused rhetorically as she and Samantha dragged tatami mats into place in preparation of their training session. Kushina had said she would want to start as soon as she got back from some meeting she was at, and had instructed Sam and Tori beforehand about what to do to get ready. "We were practically frozen last week, even with Kushina showing us all the fire-style jutsus!"

"Mm, yeah. That's true. Who knows the inner workings of her mind? Or of a shinobi's mind for that matter. But I guess before it wasn't snowing then…" Sam mused, looking around the nice space. "Could you imagine how much this place would cost back at home? This compound is so huge, I bet only celebrities could afford it!"

"Well didn't you say that the Uzumaki was a whole clan that just barely all got killed? I would bet that back in the day, this wasn't just a place for one person to live. Certainly there are enough little houses and stuff for a couple of families." Tori dramatically flopped down on top of the newly placed protective mats. "I wonder how Kushina handles it all. Or maybe she wasn't that close to the rest of her clan..."

"Well, no. That happened years ago. Kushina was really young. So, technically, their whole clan didn't live here. So… It's weird for there to be a whole compound." Sam had been thinking about this for a while, "Maybe you're right… maybe there were families that came here before. I don't really know. The anime didn't really expound too much on it. Maybe she wasn't close to her clan…"

"Then, I guess it's just that she's super rich," Tori said with a shrug. "Certainly she seems totally unbothered by feeding and housing us without any warning." Tori pushed her glasses up her nose. "It's weird how different shinobi keep doing that. In our world, I can't imagine anyone taking a stranger to the bus stop, much less letting them live in their house. And not just that but like Kakashi spent lots of money on us, and Boruto and them must have bought like a hundred bowls of ramen for us in addition to all the other food and supplies. ...Maybe shinobis make bank.."

"Well… I know that shinobi make a lot of money the higher ranked missions they take. So… everything points to the fact that they probably do make bank." Samantha layed down on the tatami mats, her shoes sitting on the outside of the door, her shinobi socks keeping her toes warm. How the shinobi walked in the snow without socks, Sam did not know. "I wonder if that's what's taking Boruto so long to get back to us. Maybe they're on a mission?"

"I suppose that's possible," Victoria agreed. "Or Tsunade threw him in jail for helping us. Or maybe he died. Lots of people seem to die here."

"Hah! I highly doubt Tsunade would do that to him. Besides… he seems to be super powerful. I doubt in such a time of chaos, she would hide him away. I mean… in the manga - and I suppose the very beginning of the first episode - Boruto was one of the only remaining shinobi left. So… he must be super valuable."

"Speaking of Boruto!" Victoria smacked herself in the forehead and quickly sat up, pulling a scroll from the pocket of her tunic. Releasing the seal, she pulled out her phone. "I can't believe I forgot! The other day, I found something you totally need to see. I just… haven't found a moment when we didn't have Kushina or the triplets around. There's this video in my photos that wasn't there before."

"Wait… did you watch it already?" Sam accused, but quickly moved over towards Victoria holding her phone.

"I didn't get a chance," Tori reiterated, "I didn't want to risk Kushina overhearing or something." She glanced up at the clock on the dojo's far wall. Kushina's meeting had only started ten minutes ago. Unless she had run straight back after only five minutes, chances were they had enough time. Victoria had at least checked the time stamp and it was less than three minutes.

"So, he left us a video, huh?" Sam looked at the video message that had a serious faced Boruto on the front of it.

Victoria nodded, then turned up the volume and hit play. "Hey, you two, great job on getting arrested, you know. Since we can't really tell you in person ourselves, hopefully you see this. We're sending you back pretty far this time, all the way back to before my dad was born. We have good data that says that you'll find a piece of the parchment at the Kensaki shrine. As long as we didn't get our measurements off, that should be right near where we will be dropping you." Leaning back, Boruto held up a map. Whoever was holding Tori's phone tried to move in closer and the lens didn't refocus quite quick enough and they jerked it back. "Himawari! Stop messing around! We don't have a lot of time, you know!"

"Hey, if it weren't for Denki and me, we wouldn't even have this option," the younger Uzimaki sibling said, sounding a little offended. Himawari flipped the phone around to smile and wave at the camera. "You're wellllcome!" she half-sang. "Also, Tori-Chan, Denki and I set you up with a chakra battery. Just make sure you recharge it every once in awhile by holding the back of the phone against one of your chakra points."

Boruto suddenly grabbed the phone and turned it back around. "Himawari! We need to focus! We only have a few minutes to finish this before Big Brother Konohamaru comes and checks on us again!" Boruto held up the map and stabbed his finger at a squiggly road. "You guys should end up right around here. Just follow the road up towards the mountains and once you get to the shrine, you'll need to look in the pages of their sacred book. Try to keep out of trouble though because there's kind of a war going on. We'll pull you out as soon as you've got the parchment. Good luck!"

"Wait…" Sam said, slowly, "You mean we've been looking in the wrong place this whole time?" The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. In the past, they'd always been sent to a place where the parchment was nearby. "Honestly… how in the world do they know where these parchment pieces are, anyway? But man… a shrine? Good luck? They must be joking," Sam deadpanned, "There's no way we're not gonna find trouble there. Not with Minato and his team following us everywhere!" Swiping a hand through her hair, Sam fell back on her butt, the other hand behind her, supporting her.

Victoria gave a rather hysterical giggle. "Wow. They must be, like, so annoyed with us." She felt her hands quiver a little and she took a deep breath to try to quell it. "Cuz, like, we… we didn't do any of that. And now we are like snowed-in here for the foreseeable future and, well, we definitely have gotten ourselves in some crazy trouble. People are dead now because we were in this timeline.."

"I have to wonder how we can get back to that place. Because that was outside of Konoha's walls… on some weird road… I doubt we can ask the other's to take us back there. I mean… how would we explain that?" The question was puzzling to Sam.

"Not to mention, that's like a three week journey back there!" Tori exclaimed. "Well… at least at the pace I walk. Why the heck don't they have any cars, again?"

Sam shrugged, "Don't ask me. I didn't create this world." She scanned the ceiling, noticing the beams that decorated the top, with something similar to marble adorning each corner. "I guess we'll have to figure out how to get them to take us back to that place... Maybe we can say we wanna go sight-seeing!"

Tori snorted. "In the winter? I don't think they'd go for it.." Tori shook her head. "I think our best bet is to keep searching the archives til spring and then say 'We give up. We'll go check our next lead out now. Thanks for the help, here's some money for the mission.'"

"That's a long time to wait.." Samantha measured, fingers twitching against the floor.

"It is a long time to wait," Tori agreed. "But what else can we do? We've had absolutely no luck contacting Boruto, and the marble doesn't let us move ourselves. Little Kakashi is already so suspicious of us, and if we bug out unexpectedly now, I don't see how that'll ever change. It makes me wonder if the first Kakashi we met wasn't just some big deception anyways. Maybe he was only nice to us because he was actually guarding us and trying to discover the truth. We were so out of our element at that point, we probably did give away huge stuff."

"Nah," Sam countered, immediately tossing that thought away, "Kakashi has never been good at lying. We must've done something that makes him eventually like us. I mean… it's always possible we meet him again." Especially considering their track record thus far.

Tori sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "This time travel stuff is hard." The thought of how convoluted everything was getting was giving her a headache. "Ugh. I miss being home. Why the heck were we the ones that have to do this? We are not even close to qualified! I swear, Boruto must just figure we are expendable cuz he sure doesn't seem to care how close we keep coming to dying." Tori pouted at that a little.

"I highly doubt he doesn't care. It's probably more like he can't see the future." Sam couldn't help it. She always tried to give someone the benefit of the doubt. "It definitely sucks that we didn't know about the video until now. Well… okay maybe it _doesn't_ quite suck. I mean… we're learning how to control our chakra… so at least there's that."

"That's true," Tori said. "Which makes me feel a little better. At least we have some small hope now of saving ourselves if things get bad again." She snorted at her own optimism, adding with a dark smile. "Who am I kidding? My sandcastles couldn't even put out that fire the other day. All my jutsu skill could do is maybe make the attacker laugh themselves to death."

"Practice, practice!" Sam sang. Ah the beautiful words from _The Swan Princess_. "If we keep at it, imagine how far along we'll be in a few more months!" Sam whipped her head towards Tori, "Oh! Speaking of! If we're here for so long… I… I want to try and save Minato and Kushina. Ya know?"

"Hey guys!" Kushina popped into the room, "Sorry my meeting ran long! Hope you weren't too bored without me!" She beamed at the two.

Sam looked at the clock in surprise. She had no idea time had passed that quickly. _Were we really talking that long?_

Tori gave Kushina a crooked smile. "How was your meeting?" she asked, discreetly sliding her legs over to cover her phone where it still lay on the mat. Kushina seemed to not have heard about the phone from the triplets so Tori was low-key trying to avoid the redhead finding out about it while also not being totally obvious she was hiding something.

"Exhausting!" The younger woman declared, flopping down onto a stack of mats with a dramatic flurry of red hair. "Way too much yammering and not enough snacks. They should always plan snacks for the long, boring meetings, you know!"

"I so agree!" Sam chimed in, "Snacks are _always_ necessary when sitting down in a meeting." Crossing her legs and leaning her elbows on her knees, Sam let out a breath. The sudden fright of Kushina coming in making her mind stress about what the woman overheard. Except that she seemed to not have noticed. "So… what's the plan for today?"

"Well..." Kushina clacked her teeth together thoughtfully for a few minutes. "I got guard duty all night and tomorrow, so let's skip taijutsu, you know. And after the way Sam almost flooded the whole compound last time maybe we shouldn't go for ninjutsus for a while until her chakra control is a little better…" Kushina sat up. "Welp, I guess it's time to teach you genjutsu!"

"Genjutsu," Victoria repeated. "That's the like illusion one, right? Like the woman with black hair did at Sam's party?"

Samantha grinned sheepishly, a light pink tingeing her cheeks. "Yeah, genjutsu is illusions. Which could be helpful if we really learned how to use it."

"Oooh," Tori cooed, attentively turning back to Kushina who gradually pulled herself up, grunting a little with the effort. Apparently boring meetings took more out of Kushina than missions or sparring did. It was kinda silly, but thinking back to some of the mind-numbing and soul-crushing staff meetings Victoria had endured, she could kind of understand.

"Genjutsus are all built off the same basic concept, so we'll just start with that. If you're any good, I'll get you more references for it. I, personally, don't have a very high affinity for the things, but even if you aren't good at it, it's still a good thing to practice, especially you, Sam, since genjutsu asks you to work on external chakra control." Kushina rubbed the small of her back for a second and then added a rather delayed, "Ya know."

"External chakra control, eh?" Sam pondered. "Well, okay then. How do we do this?" Sam sat, cross-legged, more than ready to learn something new.

Kushina gave a rather stilted explanation, which was peppered with questions from Sam and Tori, but eventually, she said, "Okay, let's just try it now. It's easier to try than to explain." (After a few weeks of such lessons, it was clear that Kushina was definitely a kinesthetic learner herself. She was not great with the lecture side of teaching.) "Let's start with the hand signs and then Tori, we'll have you try first. All I want you to do is focus on imagining that one thing about this room is different: let's go with that the color of this mat is blue instead of red. Hold that idea in your mind as clearly as you can and then with your chakra try sending that image to me and hold a slow, steady connection: just like when you were holding a leaf to your forehead."

Drawing in a deep breath, Tori carefully made each of the finger signs Kushina had coached them through. Then, she stared at the mat, looking at everything about she could notice: the glossiness of the plastic-coated fabric, the large, yellow stitches, the tear in one corner. And then, though she was staring right at an obviously red mat, she told herself it was blue. Closing her eyes, Tori mentally pictured her brain scrolling through color levels on photoshop until a purply blue covered up the red. Then, after all that careful prep work, she tried to gently waft some chakra and the image towards Kushina.

"Put more behind it," Kushina coached. "All you've sent so far is a feeling. Gotta build it up a bit bigger."

Eager to please, Tori tried to shove more chakra out and only succeeded in making herself half-fall over: her concentration broken and a good chunk of chakra wasted. "Darn it! Sugar glider ears! I was close, wasn't I? I felt like that was close!"

Kushina gave a one shoulder shrug. "You might have been. Genjutsu is tough 'cause it's hard to see what went wrong since it happens in someone else's head. Sam, your turn now."

"Um," Sam said, uneasily, "Okay. I'll try." Doing the hand signs, she could feel the chakra bubbling as she concentrated on the mat, trying to turn it from red to blue. Her teeth clenched as she focused, and in her eyes, the mat began to turn blue, like ink bleeding in the deep reserves of the mat fabric. To her, the mat turned a deep, navy blue and excitement jolted through her when the shaky color solidified. A bead of sweat formed on her temple and started to fall when Sam directed the vision towards Kushina. Imagining the line of chakra moving from her vision, Sam slowly watched the color fade. Fear sprung up and Sam prayed the image made it towards Kushina's own. The ability lasted perhaps little more than a minute before Sam lost the jutsu, panting. "Well?" She panted.

"Yeah, yeah there was something there," Kushina agreed. "It was kind of patchy, but there was certainly a blue feel to the mat in there." A smile grew across her face, some of the tiredness finally falling away. "That was a great job for a first try, you know! Hey, you might have some real affinity for genjutsus, Samantha-San!"

Tori's eyes widened. "She does? Oo! Oo! Sam, that's so cool!" she cheered. "Oh, man. I wanna see! Can she do it to me?"

"Uh, better not quite yet. I better teach both of you how to break out of genjutsus before letting you practice on each other."

"Oh! Oh!" Sam wiggled excitedly, "You use the phrase 'kai', while sending a pulse of chakra outward, right?"

Kushina paused. "Yeah. How do you know that?"

"Well... we've been around shinobi for how long now?" Sam pointed out. After all, they could've over heard many things or talked about many things in that amount of time.

"I don't know," Kushina said back, steadily staring Sam down. "How long have you two been around shinobi?"

"Um, close to three months, all told," Victoria said, trying to keep herself calm even as her mind was _screaming_ at Sam for the misstep and poor cover up. _Good golly! The last thing we need is Kushina doubting us too! Crap, crap, crap!_ "Or, no, two and a half months since we got picked up by Minato's team. Three months or so since we got to this side of the continent. We left home in September and Konoha has been our main stop. We did meet a few other shinobis on the way, but only briefly." She snapped as though pretending to remember something. "Sam, I bet it was Uncle Boruto who taught you that. Remember when he was teaching us seals, he went on that long lecture for like three hours of all the terrible things that could happen to us? I'm sure he said something about illusions and mind control. Is that where you got the kaw thing?"

"The 'kaw' thing?" Sam looked at Tori, complete confusion written all over her face, "What 'kaw thing'?"

"That you just told Kushina-San about. For genjutsus..?" Tori could practically feel the stressy sweat drop slide down her face. She thought that was just an anime trope. "You shout 'kaw' to escape?"

Kushina snorted. "Not 'kaw,' Victoria-San! 'Kai' is what you would say. 'Kai' and send a general burst of chakra out to disrupt the flow of chakra from your attacker." She shook her head a little, still chortling. "'Kaw.' You would sound like some angry bird or something, you know."

"It's true!" Sam piped up, "Almost like one of those birds in anime after the dude has been a jerk and it passes by saying something like 'aho, aho'."

"I think our birds here do that too, you know!" Kushina said with a laugh. "Maybe they migrate to Anime."

"Anime?" Tori repeated, a bit confused.

"You know, where you are from!" Kushina said with a wave of her hand. "Maybe we share the same birds!"

"Oh! Um, we're not actually from a place called 'anime'. It's just a style of television show." Sam corrected, "But to have birds like that in real life would be amazing!" she concurred with her own laugh, "Wait!" her head whipped fast towards Kushina, "You have birds that actually 'caw' that out?!" Sam's incredulousness lay unabashedly apparent on her face. "We definitely don't have anything like that where we're from."

Kushina frowned again. "Samantha-San, you say a lot of strange stuff you know," she finally declared. "Hard to know what to believe with you, I think."

* * *

"Do we really have to listen to this caterwauling?" Kakashi asked wearily. "It's making my ears bleed." The chunin had a pained look on his face that had much, much more to do with the music blaring from Victoria's phone than it did the fervid attempts of Obito to manage to land a strike as the two sparred with taijutsu.

"I like it!" Rin declared brightly as she gathered up the practice kunai Sam and Victoria had been (attempting) to throw into some straw targets. Team-Minato-Sans-Minato or 'the Triplets', as Tori thought of them, had been conscripted into longer guard shifts of Sam and Tori which included training and spar sessions while Kushina was off doing some mysterious ninja mission. Victoria kept telling herself that it was just that everyone was more on guard because winter and sneak attacks and all that, but the gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach said that something had changed recently - pretty much since Sam's birthday and the discovery of the phone, it felt like the adults (as well as Kakashi, obviously) were more on their guard around the two 'cult-escapees'.

"Alright, I admit, Britney Spears isn't for everyone," Victoria placated as she grabbed her phone up off a pile of practice mats. "But I gotta have the upbeat stuff, so how about we try this one on for size."

A peppy giggle echoed ominously through the speaker. Tori smirked and winked at Samantha.

"Oh, heaven help us," Kakashi grumbled.

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really want!" Tori sang brightly with her phone, "So tell me what you want, what you really want!"

"So tell me what you want what you really really want!" Sam took up the next part, singing just as loudly as Victoria.

With a fistful of kunai, Victoria sang and danced her way back over to the line they had marked off for target practice. By this point she had gotten better with the weight and feel of the kunai (although these practice ones were seriously dull in order to prevent accidents.) She could now hit the target structure itself about seventy percent of the time, but had yet to hit the center. Lining up the shot, she summoned just a tiny bit of chakra - it wasn't cheating! It was practice! "I wanna, I wanna - I really really wanna hit a bullseye!" She threw the note, the kunai, and the wave of chakra all at once, spinning in a dramatic flourish that was well deserving of a dramatic slow pan.

Eyes closed tight and her back to the target, Tori held that image of a perfect bullseye tightly, mentally willing the universe to do what she wanted.

"Hey! You got it!" Obito shouted.

"Good job, Tori-Chan!" Rin cheered.

Tori spun back around, shocked and then confused.

"A perfect bullseye," Kakashi agreed grudgingly, also examining their target.

"Um.. haha, guys," Tori said, rolling her eyes. The kunai was barely in the outer ring and at least four inches from a bullseye.

Samantha, at first, saw what everyone else had - a kunai sitting on the bullseye - until Tori's hesitation distracted Sam and she then took a closer look at the kunai.

"Yeah, guys… it didn't quite hit the mark." Sam pointed, as if that would show everyone the kunai was slightly off.

Obito did a double-take. "Wha? Coulda sworn.."

Kakashi frowned and then held up two fingers. "Kai!" He said softly, his hair fluttering slightly as he released a wave of chakra.

Rin held a hand to her heart and then laughed. "Genjutsu bullseyes do not count, Tori-Chan!" She declared.

"Man, she got us!" Obito laughed. "Even Bakakashi got sucked in on that one!"

Kakashi promptly punched Obito in the gut. "Keep your guard up. The spar's not over." He tromped back towards the mat, not even looking backwards as he rolled away from Obito's sloppy attack from behind.

Tori blinked at Sam. "Did I really just do that?" she asked Sam. "You guys really saw it as a bullseye? Like, I imagined it like that, annnd I mighta been trying to cheat my aim by sending some chakra with it, but I didn't think it would influence you guys." It went without saying that Tori had not made nearly as much progress as Sam in their genjutsu practices: to the point that Kushina had said "Maybe you just don't have an affinity for it. Just keep working on Earth style."

Samantha shrugged, a small frown displaying her thoughts. _That was definitely weird_. "It really did work!" She encouraged Tori, "I mean… it fooled me, too, at first!" Then, Sam smiled widely. "Looks like you're finally getting that jutsu down!"

Tori grinned a little. Inwardly there were victorious shouts of "Hah! Take that Kushina! No affinity, my butt! I even fooled tiny Kakashi with that, and I wasn't technically trying! Hah!" Outwardly though was simply a pleased grin. "Took a lot of bad practice to get there I guess. Well, more homework for Tori-Chan, you know!" She declared in her best Kushina imitation.

"Yeesh, be careful what you wish for!" Sam warned, knowing the amount of extra work Tori was likely to gain from Kushina. Sam's own experience was rather strenuous and she frequently found herself perspiring from the effort. A much different feel from trying to mold chakra.

"Maybe we don't tell Kushina.." Tori said weakly, remembering vividly how totally worn out Sam had been after the last intense training session with Kushina.

Rin clapped three times and then waved sheepishly once the two adult women looked over. "Time to practice," she reminded them. Tori and Sam obediently returned to the line and resumed their kunai throwing.

Tori, though, was curious. It was hard not to be curious about the most mystical type of ninja art, after all. So... she played around with things as subtly as she could. Most of her attempts were no good. For example, she spent sixteen minutes trying to convince Rin that there was a strand of hair tickling her nose with absolutely no success. Victoria also thought she might have been getting away with genjutsuing Sam in regards to where her kunai were landing, but after the second time that Sam grabbed at air rather than the kunai when she went to pull it out of the target, it was clear that Sam had caught on. Tori flushed apologetically at Sam's flat look of 'stop doing that.' "I… was just trying to help you get a bullseye?" Victoria offered hopefully.

"Uh huh," Sam's dry reply echoed her look, before she turned back towards the target and threw the kunai in her hand. The kunai landed low and she let out a small "tch" at herself. "Dang. I always think I've got the flicker right and it always ends up going low." There had been a few times she'd hit the target, but she had yet to hit bullseye.

Rin, observing the two women stepped up to Samantha's side once again, a hand to her chin in obvious thought, "Maybe you're overthinking it?" After all, Rin had given Sam tips a few times now.

"I suppose that's possible," Sam agreed.

"I did the same thing!" Obito piped up, giving a nod to the conversation.

"So… try clearing your mind. Don't think too much about the target. Take a few deep breaths and just… throw."

"Do it!" Obito's burst of agreement amused Sam, even with her frustration with herself. "It took me a long time and practice to consistently get bullseye," Obito continued, "And a lot of that time in the beginning I had to clear my mind, too; but eventually…" He threw his kunai, a weapon that looked like kids shouldn't even try to use, landed on the bullseye. Samantha's eyes flew up, impressed.

"Wow," She drew out the word, "Okay, I'll give it a try…" _I'm not very good at clearing my mind. It's hard to take your mind off what you want to happen!_ Sam tried to do as Rin said, despite her misgivings. She took a few deep breaths, pulled her body into a stance to throw the kunai, made her mind think of nothing but blank space, doing her best to clear it, and threw the kunai. A loud _thunk_ was heard and Samantha realized she'd closed her eyes. Slowly opening them up, her eyes were immediately drawn to the target and with a start, Sam realized that the kunai was on the target. Bullseye, in fact. Stunned, she stared, her jaw dropping.

"You did it!" Obito fist pumped the air, Rin smiled, and Kakashi, well. Kakashi stared blankly, noticeably unimpressed.

Samantha mentally shrugged and turned to smile at Tori. "We'll see if I can do that again!"

Tori's cheeks hurt a little from smiling so wide. Sam, that Sam! She was doing so much better than she had in a long time. Victoria could just tell that time around Kushina and Rin had seemed to encourage Sam rather than making her feel bogged down. Certainly, Sam seemed to be much more emotionally resilient lately than since back when they were home on earth. So the happy victory dance Victoria was doing right that moment was much less about the bullseye and so much more about that moment, however small, where the super-awesome Samantha saw the reward of pushing through and not giving up. Unable to help herself, Victoria stole a hug. "Oh, Sam, you're the best!" she declared with a laugh. "Knew you could do it for realsies!"

"That makes one of us!" Sam laughed and turned to stare at her kunai on the bullseye. It was like playing darts, just with bigger darts. More lethal and dangerous; but fun. Definitely fun. Like kenpo just… not. She'd always thought she would learn the katana but… Kunai worked. She turned back to Tori, "Now it's your turn to hit the bullseye for realsies!"

Tori grimaced but grudgingly nodded. "Okay, okay, but gotta change up the tunes first!" It was a stalling technique, but no one seemed to object when she cut Taylor Swift off in the middle of singing about bad blood. "Hmm… knife throwing… Oh! Oh, but do I have it?" Tori scrolled all the way down to the bottom of her playlists to a little used playlist called "When Nothing Else Will Do." Here was her great shame: the playlist of early 2000s country music. Luckily, it had the track she needed. "Don't judge me," she said, pointing at Sam - which Sam totally was judging. Then, lining up with a kunai in hand, Tori swayed a little to the slow, steady beat as she mentally blocked everything out but the song, the kunai in her hand, and the target out in front of her. "Right now… he's probably slow dancing with some bleach blond tramp and she's probably gettin' frisky," she softly sung along with the recorded crooning of Carrie Underwood. Right at the chorus when Carrie 'dug her keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive', Victoria flung the kunai, and it was close but not exact. But that was okay. She had another five choruses or something so she very calmly grabbed another kunai. Slowly the spread narrowed til the final kunai totally would have hit the center bullseye if it hadn't gotten knocked aside by the crooked handle of one of the ones already embedded in the straw-stuffed target. "Awh man, that was so close.." Tori said, pouting.

Samantha put a hand on her hip, snorting a quipped laugh. "Hmm, maybe we should've taken the other ones out, ne?" She promptly walked up, pulled out all the kunai, and walked back, ignoring their observers. "Here," she handed a kunai to Victoria.

"Noooo, not on meeee," Tori sang to her as a reply, taking the kunai back. She got a little distracted singing for a moment before lining up the shot. Letting a curl of chakra linger in her fingertips, Tori slowly let it flow over onto the blade itself. Maybe it was cheating? But in this world, it was still a legit choice, right? She flung the kunai, keeping that sense of connection and glaring the kunai to go right where she wanted it. "Yes! Victory dance time!"

Squinting at the target, Sam saw that Victoria's kunai was, indeed, on the bullseye. "Awesome, Tor! You did it, too!" Doing a little, gleeful dance Sam gave Tori a high _ten_. "How do you feel?"

Tori drew in a deep assessing breath and playfully collapsed at the waist. "Too tired," she said dramatically. "Must. Go. Eat. Sandwiches." With each word she dramatically collapsed to the mat, grabbing Sam and dragging her down with her. "All my energy is gone," she lamented. "I may never recover."

"Ooo, sandwiches, eh? That sounds like a brilliant idea!" Sam turned her body towards their mini guards. "What say ye? Hm?"

"Food sounds awesome!" Obito agreed. He had been working on several katas while Samantha and Victoria worked on their kunai throwing.

"Smart kid. Knows when yummy food is afoot," Sam acknowledged, smiling brightly at the young shinobi.

"Hey! Technically I'm old enough to live on my own!" Obito countered Sam's 'kid' comment.

"Really? How old are you?"

"Twelve and a half!"

"Yup," Sam confirmed to herself, "Definitely still a kid."

"Hey, I can beat you at sparring any day, any time! Then you'll see."

Rin giggled, "Obito, I don't think she was being condescending."

"No! I definitely wasn't trying to be! I was just saying that where I'm from, you would still be considered a kid." Sam held her hands up in defense.

"I'm no kid." Obito muttered.

"Okay, you're young." Sam placated. _How did I get myself into this mess?_

"If you don't know how babies are made, you're a kid," Victoria said definitively.

"I know how they're made!" Obito countered.

"So do I!" Rin declared. They all looked over at Kakashi who, after a moment of hesitation, scoffed and went back to picking up kunais.

"Hmm… what do you think, Tor? Think that means he doesn't know?" Sam teased, turning towards Tori as they watched him.

"Awh, let's not tease him," Tori said, feeling sympathy for the hunched shoulders of the tiny one. Nine was pretty young to have been told about the birds and bees, after all. No point in making Kakashi feel bad if he didn't know. "C'mon, let's help." Soon they had removed the evidence of their training and tromped their way back to the main house and its toasty kitchen. Along the way, they continued to debate what constituted 'adulthood' and whether or not the five of them qualified as kids or adults. "See, here's a thing that seperates kids from adults," Tori said as she flipped a piping hot grilled cheese sandwich down in front of Obito. "Kids have the distinct advantage of not having to be in charge of cooking for themselves. Any body lucky enough to have someone that greets them at the door with food and a smile gets kid status. And grown ups are the ones that do the greeting. So here, I'm the grown-up, and all y'all are the kids cuz you are eating the sandwiches I made. Hah!"

"Y'all should feel lucky. Tori, here, doesn't make these grilled cheeses for just anyone!" Samantha stated as Victoria put down a grilled cheese on Sam's plate as well. "Thanks, Tor." Victoria was always selfless when it came to doing things for other people. Samantha had learned long ago to allow her friend to do these kinds of things for her. Sam had other ways of showing how much she appreciated Tori. Usually by getting the things Tori really wanted or needed but wouldn't get herself. Sam had no problems spending money on other people. Or on herself really… 'treat yo-self' became a thing for her every paycheck. Really nice for her manga bookshelf but not so good when it came to food. Sam sheepishly smiled at herself before taking a bite of the perfectly cooked sandwich. "You've really outdone yourself this time, Tor! This is super good! Ya know, we should totally find a way to take the materials for this with us when we travel!"

"They are really good, Tori-Chan," Rin agreed. "And so unusual. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone toasting bread with cheese in the center."

Kakashi sniffed a little, somehow it was totally clear by that simple sniff that the strangeness of their sandwich preferences was somehow another proof against Samantha and Victoria. Victoria responded by rolling her eyes and starting a second sandwich for Obito as his was already totally scarfed. "Just something from our home in the mountains," Tori said simply.

"Best thing to come outta your cult," Obito agreed, fingers already inching toward the sandwich ready to come off the griddle.

"I like to think I'm at least as pretty as a sandwich," Tori said lightly, flipping the hot sandwich over for Obito. She could wait for the new one to finish.

"Man… you know what this food calls for?" Sam didn't wait for anyone to speak up, "Some amazing music! Like… Shippuden music or… Studio Ghibli or… Brittney Spears or Panic at the Disco!" Yeah. Sam's variety of music she listened to spanned wildly; but oddly enough (or not so oddly to her) she hated listening to classical. It was _way_ too boring for her taste. Though playing it on the piano was a different story entirely. "What do you say, Tori-chan?"

"Oo! I'll do it!" Obito shouted, and before Tori could blink, the boy had zoomed around the corner and snatched the phone from where she had left it on the counter behind them.

"Hey! That's mine!" Tori protested. Obito poofed out of reach as soon as she got close even as he tried pushing every single button. "You're gonna lock it!" she protested.

"I'm trying to unlock it," Obito said. "Why isn't it working? You just push this one button, right?"

"Well that's cuz its coded for me!" Tori protested, still vainly following him around the too big kitchen. "You lock it and even I can't open it for like an hour! Obito! Stop!"

"C'mon, Obito," Rin said exasperatedly. "She asked for it back."

"Okay.." Obito extended the phone back to Victoria, but as soon as she touched it, there was the unexpected poof of a substitution jutsu and Tori was left holding a spatula instead of her phone with Obito nowhere in sight.

Kakashi silently pointed up over Tori's shoulder. Whipping around, she put both hands on her hips and glared up at Obito who was crouched on top of the upper cabinets, still stabbing his finger at her phone screen. "Obito Uchiha!" Victoria scolded sharply, feeling rather frustrated. (Tag had always been the number one on the list of games Tori hated playing.) With each word her voice grew louder and a bit higher pitched. "If you don't give me my phone back right this minute I swear I am going to inflict upon you _one_ _ **thousand**_ _years of_ _ **PAIN**_!" Clenching her fists, Tori unconsciously poured some chakra into her final command as she declared: "Now get your butt down here!"

The air seemed to shift subtly. Samantha blinked in quiet surprise turning her eyes to look at the young Uchiha.

Obito visibly rocked at Tori's final words, almost losing his balance on top of the cabinets. He finally looked at Victoria with wide eyes. He hopped down and looked Tori up and down. "How'd you do that?" he asked.

"Seriously, Obito!" Tori said, shaking her open palm meaningfully, too flustered to even realize that her words had done anything.

After another second's hesitation, the tween grudgingly put the phone in her hand.

Samantha was a silent observer, her mind half drifting over the weird feeling in the air. Almost like an earthquake in her heart but… not directed at her at all. And she wasn't even the subject of the demand. _Poor Obito,_ Sam could only empathise.

"What about his punishment?" Kakashi drawled even as he flipped the neglected sandwich on the griddle over with his ever-present kunai. "I believe you said he was going to be inflected with one thousand years of pain. I think I'd like to see that.."

"It's an expression." Samantha commented off-handedly, "Not something you _actually_ inflict. I don't think that would work out very well."

"Oh, no, I'm gonna inflict it," Tori said. "Come here, Obito."

"How?" Sam asked, honestly curious, "After all…. I highly doubt any of us here will live that long."

"You wanna get punished too, Mr. Spock?" Tori asked archly even as Obito reluctantly took a slow step closer.

"You could certainly try." Sam said, a twinkle in her eye, winking as Obito gave her a nervous glance.

"This is the Thousand Years of Death. Or Pain. Same thing," Tori said darkly. She examined her phone briefly and tucked it in her skirt pocket. "Prepare yourself." Then, she glared Obito down before flashing through a few random hand signs. With her hands caught in tiger: both index fingers extended like a gun, Victoria lunged at Obito with a shout… and poked his shoulder. Just a plain old poke. No chakra even to deepen the blow. "There. Let that be a lesson to you."

The stunned expressions of not only Obito, but Rin and Kakashi as well, made Samantha laugh outright.

"What?' Obito asked, somewhat dazed, "Was that it?"

"Yes. I think you have been punished sufficiently now," Tori affirmed. Then her stern expression relaxed into an affectionate smile as she reached out to ruffle Obito's hair. "You are just a kid, after all."

* * *

It had been several days after that incident that snow had piled high on the ground. Crystals hung low off the rooftop of Kushina's home, and Sam and Victoria had been stuck inside learning the meditation side of using your jutsu. To say that Samantha was bored was an understatement. She was very much like Naruto in that way, unable to concentrate when she just felt _bored_. It made her antsy.

Having had lunch only an hour prior, Kushina had once again stuck them in the dojo. Or, as Samantha had begun to claim it, 'the dungeon of death by boredom'. Kushina claimed that it was a good idea for them to get used to meditation, as they would be learning how to 'meditate while fighting' once they had learned its effectiveness sitting still. Samantha was all too eager to get to the fighting practice, her legs bouncing just a little while they sat, until she decided to just give up.

"Okay, I am going stir crazy. We have _got_ to do something different! At least for today." Samantha said, hands flopping in tune with her exasperation.

Kushina. at least had the decency to open her eyes, amusement starting to creep over her face. "You are lucky you have chakra reserves like you do, Samantha-San, or you'd never get anywhere, you know."

"She just wants me to lose," Tori said calmly, not moving from her own meditation pose. She was at least much better at sitting still than Sam. Maybe too good as just the thought of going out to shovel the snow again sounded just horrible. "Distracting me so I can't be as chakra-ready as her on the battlefield."

"Pfft, as if." Sam scoffed. She rested her elbows on her knees, "I can't help that I get bored easily. Doing this for days on ends is just, well, _boring_. I know I'm an adultier adult than you, Kushina," Sam stated - thinking mostly of their age differences - and pointedly ignored Kushina's giggle, "But honestly, I just don't see the point with meditation." She'd never been one to meditate, even though she was such an internal person. Even though Kushina had told them the reason for meditation in the beginning, but she had also said that sometimes it is easier to understand once you've experienced it yourself. _Curse my kinesthetic learning!_ Sam growled her thought.

"I could explain it again if you want!" Kushina chirped.

"No!" Sam cleared her throat, "No, that's alright." She sighed, "Guess I'll just have to deal with it." Her mumble wasn't as much of a mumble as she thought.

"Well then! Why not we take your young, shinobi guards and have fun in the snow? I suppose we could do some chakra training with the snow itself. Kinda like tree-walking, but snow-walking instead."

"Yes! Please!" Obito's shout resounded loudly in the room.

"Awh, can't we do something easier?" Tori sighed. But then her impish side answered and she gave the wooden floor a quick triple knock. "Sam-Sam? Do you wanna build a snoooow man?"

"I suppose it would be fun to go and play." Sam spoke-sung the words, smiling widely. The overplayed songs from Frozen were so overplayed that it was hard to _not_ memorize the words. So, here they were. Stuck with having memorized the words. But that was fine with Samantha. "Perhaps we could make Olaf!"

Rin giggled. "You two are so silly," she declared even as she stood up, using both hands to fluff her short brown hair back over her shoulders. "Although a snowman does sound kind of fun..."

Rin's small suggestion seemed to enliven Obito to 'fight for the needs of his woman.' He immediately crossed to Kushina and whispered rapidly in her ear.

The jinchuriki nodded after a second. "Alright, here's the deal: Samantha-San and Tori-San, if you two can manage to meet my three challenges with chakra control, then you can be done with training for the day and build a snowman with Rin and Obito. _But_ if you fail, then you gotta meditate for another hour.. _In the snow._ "

Tori shivered a little at the death-eater grin Kushina flashed at them. It was like the entire room's shadows gathered behind the redhead as she declared the evil consequences. "Is it… hard challenges?" she asked weakly.

"Only for cowards!" the Red Hot Habanero proclaimed.

"How do you expect us to stay warm!" Sam called out to the kunoichi. But Kushina was gone.

"Chakra!" Rin stated, a pleasant smile on her face as she skittered after her sensei's girlfriend. Sam gave Tori a look, before following after them.

"Well, time to lose some toes to frostbite, I guess," Victoria said with a fatalistic shrug. But she at least grabbed her Boruto-provided coat from the hook by the door.

A few minutes later found Samantha and Victoria along with their guards, all bundled up for the cold that was outside, standing on the edge of the door frame, just before the snow began. "For the life of me, I have _no_ idea why I thought coming outside was a good idea. The snow sucks." Sam grumbled. She'd dealt with cold before and had vowed to never _have_ to be in it again, yet here she was _stuck in the snow_.

"Alright, so!" Kushina stood in front of them, bundled up just as much as they, her hands on her hips. A natural - and by this point, common - stance she gained whenever going into 'teacher' mode, "The goal is to _not sink_ when walking on the snow. It's got a lighter density than earth or trees, which in a way makes it harder, but also, makes it easier. Now. Pull chakra down to your feet then step onto the snow. Remember, if you put _too much_ chakra to your feet, you're just going to sink to the ground too quickly and be blasted off your feet."

"Right." Samantha said. _Sounds… medium amount of easy._ She mentally called on her chakra. As much as she'd gotten used to the feeling, any time she truly focused on the feeling, it was the oddest of sensations. It was like… allowing this smooth river of water flow over your body. It didn't hurt, but the power it gave was something that even your muscles felt. Sometimes, it gave Samantha the creeps. Still, she shuddered the thought down, then carefully placed her dominant foot (the right one) onto the snow. She tested the snowy floor, feeling the firm density her chakra was giving, then pulled her left foot out and immediately felt the buckle as her foot fell through the snow. She hit the ground and the momentum pushed her backwards, landing on her back on solid ground once more. With the breath knocked out of her, annoyed that she didn't get it right away even though it seemed as easy as it was in her head, Sam blinked up at the porch ceiling.

"Well. That went well!" Obito grinned in Samantha's line of vision. Sam simply huffed, doing her best to hide her own smile.

"You got this!" Tori cheered from beneath her scarf. "Samantha Taylor Winters! It's right there in your name, girl! You go conquer that snow!"

Kakashi looked briefly up at Victoria and then down at the lopsided Sam. "So you do have a surname," he said to Samantha. "Winters-San."

Sam lightly glared her betrayal briefly Victoria's way, turning her attention quickly on their young, silver-haired shinobi guard slash future friend. Somehow. "Yes well, I don't go by that name. I go by my first name. Samantha. It's prettier." Sam's gaze challenged Kakashi. _I swear I might tell him to respect his elders if he doesn't_. The thought was actually amusing.

"What's her surname?" Kakashi asked Sam, pointing at Tori.

"Ah, revenge eh? It's-!"

"My name is pretty both ways," Victoria said pertly, "But I disallow you from calling me by my last name anyways. Jinx. No takesies-backsies."

Samantha snickered, "Well, I guess you'll never know. No one can defy the jinx."

Kakashi opened his mouth to reply, but then after another second, he shut it again. "Ksh. Who cares," he mumbled. And then he stepped out into the thick snow walking straight past Sam… and his sandals literally didn't make even the smallest dent in the fresh powder.

Kushina, hands fisted on her hips, cleared her throat meaningfully. "Alright, Victoria-San. You're up."

Tori nodded. "Go-Go Action Chakra SnowShoes." Tori, basically a pro now at the leaf-holding exercise even if her sandcastles were still more like anthills than molehills, pulled a stream of chakra and cascaded it down to her feet. She spread it out around her feet in a big pizza shape and then slowly shuffled forward like a penguin. The snow creaked ominously and a wide awkward furrow pressed down the entirety of the snow around Victoria's 'snowshoes.' "Technically… you can't see my footprint," she pointed out even as the snow dented in another inch deeper. Tori shuffled forward a little faster, still making full and unashamed use of the penguin stance.

Samantha watched, disappointment heavy on her heart; jealousy raging in her eyes. _How does Tor do it so well!_ Sam pouted, knowing that part of her problem was impatience. It was like the piano. She preferred playing fast and got impatient when she had to slow her tempo down. Even the fast songs needed a slower tempo. Impatience was a rough lesson on her soul. Biting her lip, Sam turned her attention towards the snow, not wanting anyone to catch on to how much she wished she could do things just as effortlessly as Victoria made it seem.

"You should try again!" Rin, from behind Samantha, spoke softly. Sam grew rigid, before plastering on a smile and turning towards Rin.

"You're right! Practice makes perfect after all!" But one _was_ allowed to feel depressed when one's practice was imperfect on occasion. Sam looked towards the snow once more before nodding once to herself. She stood, stretching her limbs, before taking a deep breath and feeling the chakra pull towards her feet. _Last time, my chakra was uneven. Must. Concentrate. On. Even chakra pull!_ Talking in her head did little to help her concentration and Samantha allowed her mind to go blank and simply _feel_ the chakra. It was subtle, but Samantha could tell that her chakra was even this time, and slowly, she placed her right foot onto the snow. Encouraged when she didn't sink, Sam tentatively placed her left onto the snow as well, carefully not putting all her weight into the action so as not to buckle under herself again. To her joy, it was a success! Walking forward - trying _not_ to look like an idiot infront of the teens and pre-teen children shinobi - Sam made progress towards Victoria and Kushina. Turning to look behind her, Samantha saw that her footprint made hardly the indent into the snow. "Success!" She gave the Breakfast Club air-punch.

"Oh my gosh, that's amazing!" Tori cheered. "That's almost as good as Hatake-San, Sam!" Her vague attempt at a victory dance was thwarted by the heavy snow gear and Tori sunk another two inches deeper in the snow: her pizza platers now more like big old funnels arrowing down to her feet. "Awh, crunch. How am I supposed to?" Muttering to herself, Tori attempted to shuffle in a widening circle to regain her lost height.

"Nice work!" Rin called from her place still at the doorway. Neither she nor Obito had yet attempted to follow the other four out into the snow.

"Yeah, not bad, you know," Kushina agreed. "You certainly are better than last week! Welp! On to round two!" She twirled about with a flash of red hair and began to stride purposely forward over the snow.

Samantha watched the red-headed Uzumaki go, dread filling her features. She had to continue this chakra control? Already she felt tired. Why had she gone and complained about meditating? _On second thought… This is_ much _better than meditating!_ Sam began her march forward. Slowly. She felt like a penguin. Snow was always awkward. Sam looked behind her, saw that her progress hadn't led to deeper indents in the snow, and cheered silently for herself.

Tori and Sam were both so focused on remaining above the snow that they almost shuffled right past Kushina. Her "Hey, I'm right here, you know!" called them back from continuing to shuffle clear out to the outer wall. "You can sink down a little here if you want," she said as soon as they both stopped in front of her. "We aren't on the windward side of things so the drifts aren't so deep." The redhead's lips twitched, just holding back a laugh as her two students heads literally dropped four inches down as they settled into the powder. "Alright. So you got the walking down okay. Probably you two aren't ready for water quite yet, but at least we won't lose you in the snow anymore. So your next challenge is jumping." Twisting the jinchuriki pointed up to where Kakashi was tying Kushina's scarf around a tree branch twenty feet or so off the ground. "You just gotta touch the end of it at least." She gestured to their feet. "It's the same idea as walking but you gotta send a big burst all at once and make sure you pour part of the chakra into your knees since that's where the force of your jump comes from. Allright, give it a try."

Tori gave an incredulous laugh as she stared up at the distant scarf. "What do you think we are, sannin?" she quipped, shaking her head. "Oi vey."

Samantha's eyes widened, "Um…" She meekly lifted her hand, "I'm just a tad terrified of heights so… the falling part… that won't… _hurt_ , will it?"

Kushina shrugged. "Eh. Not much. There's snow to land in, isn't there?"

"Seeing as how I've never actually had the opportunity to fall in snow, I wouldn't know if that snow would be soft or not." Sam was harshly reminded of why she'd not make a good shinobi. The idea of pain, getting hurt, terrified her. She'd never actually broken a bone in her life before. She didn't intend to start now. "Okay, so… how do we land, then?"

Taking a short moment to take Sam's question seriously, Kushina thought on it briefly, "Well, the key is to make sure you keep chakra in your legs. You get that burst and never let it leave! Make sure to land on your toes, like this." Kushina demonstrated, falling into a crouch, the balls of her feet the only part keeping her upright, before standing up once again.

Samantha nodded, half jogging in place now, "Right. Seems easy enough." She looked up where Kakashi was standing on the tree branch, her heart lurching at the distance, and immediately turned towards Tori, "Tor! You go first!"

Tori blinked in surprise at the panic she could hear hiding in Sam's voice. "It'll be okay, Sam," she placated. "It's not nearly as high as the tree you fell out of when you landed on Pervy Sage. We made it through that all right, didn't we?"

Sam gulped, not feeling any ounce of comfort in Victoria's words at all. She glanced up at the tree, and all she could think about was the fall. Twenty feet was twenty feet. A long distance! She'd gotten seriously injured because of that kind of fall! It could have been worse if Jiraiya hadn't been there, too. _I… I don't think I can do this._ Her hands shook, and her stomach twisted in uncomfortable knots. _Kushina is… she's a sadist!_

"C'mon Samantha-San! You can do it!" Rin cheered,

"Yeah! It's a piece of cake!" Obito gave her a thumbs up. Kakashi simply stared down at Samantha, face completely blank. _Or maybe his mask is hiding his true emotions,_ Sam thought in the back of her mind. She stared up at the red scarf, her vision going black on the edges. She could feel herself freaking out. _C'mon… you're better than this! There's nothing to be scared of. You can do this. Easy peasy._ Samantha was reminded of a time when she went cliff diving in Oregon once. It was 30 feet and she had geared herself to jump for almost an entire half hour. _It's not been_ that _long, has it?_ Still, Sam, having tuned out anything but what she could see in front of her, finally made the pull of chakra to go into her legs, crouched down, then _lept._ It was exhilarating and weightless all at once! The red scarf grew closer and closer and Sam reached out a hand, ready to touch it. _I'm like Superman!_ Came her thought, unbidden. Then, her fingers graced the scarf and it flapped as she began her descent. Her excitement for hitting the scarf was quickly dismissed as the butterflies of falling down filled her stomach, and Samantha felt panic and perhaps just a little bit of bile rise in her throat. _Oh crap! Ohcrapohcrapohcrap! I have to- oooooh crap! I can't do this! I don't want to do this anymore!_ It was like she was back on the rocket ride at disneyland. When she was little, she got on the ride, and at the very top, decided she didn't want to be on the ride any longer. The scream left her lungs before it even could make a sound as they fell. This was like that. Except without the safety of not getting hurt. All these thoughts happened so quickly that before she knew it, she was remembering Kushina's advice on how to land. Sam prepared herself, realizing she'd almost let go of the chakra in her legs, and panicked efforts kept herself intact. She landed ungracefully. Though she landed correctly in the way Kushina had shown them, Samantha's mind sprung to thoughts of sprained ankles and the _slam_ of the ground impacting against the soles of her feet. The awful ache that accompanied that contact. So, when she landed, fear got the better of her and Samantha fell about a foot forward onto her stomach with an 'umph!'

Groaning, Samantha slowly sat up, feeling the sting in her feet, but otherwise, unharmed. "Ugh… that… was not a fun landing." _But I'm so glad I at least tried it._ She'd always said to herself that even if she was scared, she'd make sure she did what she was scared of. Especially when it came to height.

"Sam! Sam, are you okay?" Tori asked worriedly, scrambling through the snow to fall beside Sam. "Your ankle? Your knees, are they okay? Oh my gosh, I - I saw you jump and you just went up and up. It was like seeing Rock Lee run up that wall the first time and oh my gosh, that was so cool and so scary and - " Victoria suddenly burst into tears. Somehow things suddenly got real again. All the chakra practice and training sessions had just felt like a fun distraction: a way to prove her smarts. It was like Victoria had just been taking an extra course and having fun showing off her inexplicable skill with the mysterious ninjutsu, but… but that wasn't what all this was at all. Sam could move like a ninja. Heck, after the last few months of sparring, she could even kind of fight like a ninja. Ninjas like the ones that chased them and the ones that died in the canyon. Victoria knew she and Sam had started the whole training thing as a way to protect themselves but... _But it was like a dream or something. I'm not ready for this. I knew ninjas were real, but I didn't really realize we were becoming ninjas ourselves. I'm not ready for all this!_ Victoria scrubbed at her eyes, trying to quell the storm of tears. "It's like it's all real, Sam," she choked out, trying to explain why the heck she had started bawling in the snow. "It's all real, and I don't want it. I just want to go home!"

This new revelation surprised Samantha. After all, Victoria had been the one, right from the beginning, to claim that this was real and not some kind of coma-induced fantasy. Sam's brow knit, chewing her lip as she thought about it. "Yeah." She said quietly, "Me too." Sam looked towards the red scarf before looking back at Tori, "But we _will_ make it back home, Tor. That's why we're working hard. Right here and now. To defend ourselves, and to make that way happen regardless of the situations we find ourselves in." Thoughts of Sam's family, of her cats, brought on its homesickness and the ache that was now in her heart was much different than the ach of an anxiety induced sickness. Or the ache of loneliness; though that was a similar ache. The need to hope for a way home was something Sam _needed_ to believe in, however; and luckily, it was something she could pass on because she believed it so fully. "We will, Tor."

"Not if we die first!" Tori burst out, her eyes wide with old fear. "Not if - not if we end up having to fight someone, to kill someone. We might get home but we'll never be the same. It's like… like we aren't even us anymore." The last sentence she half whispered, hunching forward as the tears rolled down her cheeks to drip on the muddy snow. "This world is turning us into something else..."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "But… we're changing for the better. We're still us. Just… learning how to live."

"I'm scared," Tori whispered, tears still streaming down her face. "I don't think I'm strong enough for reality again."

"But you've been living reality." Sam said. It confused her, Tori's confession. After all, Tori was the one who convinced Sam that they were in the ninja world. It's what helped her believe that they had chakra they could wield. Tori had even been using sealing jutsu! It was just strange to Sam. Especially when she could feel the chakra running through her very veins if she concentrated enough on it. It was so different to how she lived before. A part of her wondered how she was going to live without this feeling when the time came. "I guess… I figured you had come to that realization way before I did. Now, I'm just excited by the prospect." Samantha bit her lip, knowing that everything she was saying was inadequate to help Tori at all. "At least we've got each other! And… we've got the Lord on our side. We can do anything."

Tori hiccuped and gave a teary nod. A pair of small boy sandals with the small boy attached suddenly dropped to stand atop the snow between them. His arms were folded over his chest and he gave them an appraising glance as Sam and Tori looked up at his approach. Kakashi's dark eyes darted aside, breaking the eye contact. "Cry too much and you're gonna grow icicles on your face."

Victoria snorted - half laugh, half final sob. "But I hear it's all the rage in Kingsbury," she quipped.

"Quite the rage," Sam agreed, even if it wasn't quite the right quote from _Howl's Moving Castle_ , the accent was enough to make it seem so. She was satisfied. Kakashi rolled his eyes, and Samantha could only smile.

Sniffing quite hard, Tori shook her head rapidly to dislodge the last of the tears. "Keep Moving Forward," she said, repeating the mantra in her head as many times as possible. "Keep Moving Forward." Using her chakra to help keep her balance, Victoria shoved herself back up onto her feet. She offered Sam a hand up, but then Victoria's gaze caught and followed where Kakashi was looking. Minato Namikaze with his angel face of doom had appeared out of nowhere and was talking with Kushina a few yards away. Obito and Rin had hastened over to join them. "Oh, Minato-Sensei is back. Kushina-San must be happy."

As the pair watched, Minato looked up and after placing a comforting hand on Obito's shoulder, he began to stride over to the three of them. Blushing splotchily at how she must look, Tori tried vainly to dry off her glasses with the tail of her scarf but just succeeded in fogging them up more. Then suddenly Minato and his mind-numbingly perfect features were right there before Sam and Tori. "Samantha-San, Victoria-San, I need to speak with you," the Yellow Flash declared. He reached out and placed one hand on each of Sam and Victoria's outside shoulders.

Tori blinked and thought for a moment she had gone blind. They weren't in the bright day with sunlight gleaming off of the windswept snow. Instead they were in some dimly lit room with shuttered glass lamps and dark ebony wood floors that stretched the whole length of a football field. The air above them had the heavy empty feeling like the bottom of a cave. Distantly, distantly, above them was the sound of voices speaking rhythmically like a gregorian chant. "Wh… What is this place?" Tori said, unwrapping her scarf from her neck and peering into the deep shadows that surrounded them beyond the gentle spill of lamplight.

Samantha coughed, fighting down a wave of nausea, looking around the large expanse. With her fluffy coat tightly wrapped around herself, she was suddenly dying of heat and felt a strong desire to take off her coat. The place was muggy, but the Yellow Flash, who had turned a critical eye on the two of them, seemed perfectly comfortable. Even with such long sleeves. "I… don't know," came Sam's lame response as Minato wasn't giving any notion that he was going to answer Victoria's question. The sexy beast of a man stood before the two of them, intimidation bleeding off him like billowing sheets waving in the wind; and something else. _What is this?_ Her body shuddered. _Is this…? This must be what killer intent is._ The thought briefly passed through her mind as Sam struggled to keep his gaze.

The sense of hostility was unnerving. With every breathless second of silence from Minato, the darkness around them seemed to grow deeper as the feeble flames flickered vainly against the thick air. The yawning emptiness of the strange underground room with its heavy, oppressive humidity seemed to physically push and pulse against them like a hammering heartbeat. Sweat started to bead against the back of Victoria's neck, somehow feeling freezing cold even in the oppressive heat. She could see the snow still tangled in Sam's fading blue hair melt away into nothing. And Minato kept watching them, his perfect features unmoving; in that moment he was less a heavenly messenger and more like a cold-hearted angel of purgatory ascended from the pit. The distant monkish chanting was drawing nearer and although she couldn't quite make out the words, Tori's mind could have sworn she heard the phrase 'bones and blood' repeating in the middle of it. A frantic giggle crept up Tori's throat, pressing hard and tight against her voice box til she almost couldn't breathe.

Then, when she nearly couldn't bear it a second longer, Minato's deep voice cut through the darkness. The flash of mistrust in his eyes a sharp slicing blow that belied even the way he said "Tell me. Where are you from?"

Though the Yellow Flash asked a question, he spoke it more like a statement. Expectant. Leaving no room to say 'no'. Samantha blinked back, not expecting _that_ to be the first thing he asked. She thought frantically about what she or Tori could have said with him around to cause him to be so utterly, accusingly suspicious. The danger he presented them was what Sam could only think was that of Hokage Minato. Just like all those fanfics she read. Except the real deal was far more frightening, and once again, in less than an hour, Sam found her hands shaking.

Tori licked her lips, her mouth feeling drier than the deserts of Texas as she felt a quiver of fear slide down her spine. "I grew up in the mountains far from here," she said softly. "In a place called Jordan City. Sam has been my friend and she lives nearby there too. We've always told you that…" Despite the horrible heat, Tori couldn't even possibly imagine taking off her coat: its thick wool was the only armor to protect her from the icy glare of the future fourth Hokage. Unconsciously, her hand found Sam's and held it tightly.

Minato crossed his arms over his chest, the action shifting the weight of his fully stocked tactical vest and the candle light flickered off the metal handle of his deadly three pronged shuriken. "Considering how consistent you've been of that particular detail, I am inclined to believe you." He then took a slow step towards them and the girls stumbled back a step at the tangible threat of his aura. "However," he continued, his masculine voice still as even and musical as ever, "I heard some troubling news that you two yourselves admitted aloud. Which leads me to believe, with viable evidence that I witnessed myself, that you two" - here his lips and eyebrows finally turned down in a small frown - "...are lying." The words fell between them with more thudding impact than the stumbling final steps of the dead giant Yuta.

"I…" Sam began, choking on her words, panic settling into the pit of her stomach. They really weren't doing anything wrong. They had been thrust into their situation without their consent. It was just happenstance that they couldn't reveal everything they knew. "We… um. What did you hear, exactly?"

Tori felt her legs tremble as Minato's piercing blue eyes turned their full focus on Sam. The look he gave her: Victoria remembered it. That first, fateful morning, crouching behind a tree, terrified and sore from the week spent in Tusnade's detention cells, she had seen this man holding a razor sharp blade against Sam's throat. He would have killed her. Like without a second thought. If things had gone just one other way, Sam and Tori's bodies would right now be rotting under the snow drifts piled high by a howling wind.

"Many things which left me with _many_ questions," he murmured, not breaking gaze with Samantha. "You mentioned 'your world' quite often. As if the place in Jordan," his gaze flicked oh so briefly towards Victoria, "Was not a physical place on Earth. Is it?"

A shiver raced down Samantha's spine, Minato's gaze expectant. Samantha, never a good liar, spoke the truth. Squeaking out her reply. "Technically… it is not a place that exists on this earth. No."

Minato nodded, as if that was the answer he figured he would hear. He then turned away, leaving his back to them as he asked, "And your 'Uncle Boruto' isn't really your uncle, is he?"

"No. No he is not." Samantha admitted, hunching her shoulders like a turtle fleeing into its shell.

"But he's not a bad guy!" Victoria blurted. "And we aren't either. I promise. We might not be very good at things and we haven't been able to tell you the truth about stuff, but Boruto just wants to protect Konoha, and so do we!"

Samantha nearly turned her head in a knee-jerk motion towards Victoria. No doubt the action noticed by Minato, even if his back was turned. _Oh no!_ Her heart lurched, quick panic racing through her entire body. _She just mentioned Konoha! That was definitely not a good idea!_

"Konoha, huh." Minato murmured. "And what affiliation does this Boruto have to Konoha?" He casually twirled the three-pronged kunai between his fingers off to the side where they could still clearly see the twirling blade.

Samantha gulped. "Uh…" her voice wavered. She turned panicked eyes towards Victoria. Though when she would look back on this moment, Samantha just knew it probably wasn't the best idea to let her friend take over as Victoria didn't know that it wasn't a good idea to affiliate Konoha with Boruto but… _But… she already blew_ that _particular detail so…_ Samantha decided to let her roll with it.

"None, yet," Tori said, "But he considers it his home. I know he'd do anything to help protect it. Just like we would. Even though it's not our home, it's full of good people and -" Tori cut off in a squeak as Minato suddenly turned about.

In a blur of yellow and blue, he cut the short distance between them in less time than a heartbeat. His lean, muscled form towered over Tori. "What do you mean 'yet'?" he murmured, harshly. Victoria fell backwards, landing on the ground and shaking at the almost physical blow of his rage.

Wisps of Samantha's drying hair fluttered over her eyes with the quick movements of the Yellow Flash. Immediately, Samantha heard the rush of her blood with the realization that they were in real danger right then. Minato Namikaze had no qualms over killing anyone and to Sam and Victoria's unfortunate luck, they could be the next victims that met the sharp tip of his well-used blade. "It's-!" Sam began, momentarily stunned by the piercing blue, so much like Naruto's eyes that Samantha's heart ached for him, "It's because we're… we're… you see, we… well…" Saying they were time-travelers out loud intimidated her, but Samantha forced herself to say so. "We're time-travelers." _Please don't die, Tori-Chan!_

"Explain."

Trembling in shock from the cold, cruel anger in Minato's voice, Tori just let the truth spill out. "It wasn't our fault, all we did was pick up the thing and then it grabbed us and we ended up in Konoha, but not this Konoha, a different one where Kakashi is grown up and your son is in school-" A wanton desire flashed unnoticed in Minato's gaze at the mention of his future son, "And we didn't know why we were there or why it was even real because in our world, chakra isn't even a thing, except for something in movies."

"Um-" Sam tried to interrupt, hand halfway into the air.

"And that's the weird thing, your whole story is a movie in our dimension, so when everything started happening, we kinda had an idea of what might happen in the future, but then someone was kind of trying to mind control us and the marble thing started glowing again and then we got dropped on Jiraiya, but not this Jiraiya that we saw at the Archives last week, it's an old Jiraya, like twenty years from now, I think. I don't know when exactly that was but the movie for his book was coming out -" The words just kept spilling from Victoria's mouth like an endless torrent. She didn't know what it was that Minato needed to hear, so she told him everything she possibly could, gasping for breath every couple words.

Samantha could feel her insides lurching with every detail which Victoria spewed with horror maring her face. Even though Sam had planned to tell Minato about their time-traveling, she had _never_ intended to tell Minato that his world was just a mere fantasy in hers and Victoria's. Tori kept on talking.

"But we didn't even stay with him long, just long enough for me to break my ribs," Tori continued ceaselessly. It was almost like the scene in _The Goonies_ where Chunk is captured by the bad guys in the mine and when they start to interrogate him, he tells them literally everything he had ever done wrong in his life because he was too terrified to even distinguish between what was important and not. "And then we got pulled even further into the future to Boruto's time but it was awful. Half of Konoha had been destroyed by this Kowacky ninja and like Naruto's house was missing half its walls but also he was missing too and so was Kakashi."

"Na-" Minato began with a furrowed brow, but didn't even get a chance to finish his word.

"So Tsunade had to come back to be the Hokage again, and she threw us in prison but not before Boruto told us that it was his fault we were there and that the marble was supposed to bring his dad back from some other dimension but it brought us instead. But since they accidently figured out it could travel through time they were gonna use us to get some pieces of some special scroll that's supposed to change the timeline so that Konoha was never attacked and then make it so Naruto and Kakashi never disappeared, but like, I'm not sure why it had to be us except that since we don't exist in this world really then we won't overlap ourselves in the timeline and make ourselves not be born so we can travel and maybe the universe won't implode but i don't know cuz its all really confusing." Tears were streaming down Tori's face by this point and she was hiccuping every other word and it was about at that point that she managed to forget how to breath entirely and started coughing too hard to speak.

Samantha stared, jaw wide open, before she face-palmed. _Tori-Chan! You just spewed our life's story to someone who I don't think wanted_ that _much information. Oi._

Minato was silent for his part. He looked Victoria over, judging her facial expressions for any hints of lying or deceiving. Slowly. Slowly, the killer-intent receded into a mild, tense atmosphere so thick Samantha swore she could drink the air she was breathing. But she no longer felt the fear of dying as she had throughout Victoria's entire speech. Without realizing it, Sam had spaced out. Minato's glance towards her, however, knocked her back to reality. Sam gulped. "Uh… what she said!"

Minato, contemplating, narrowed his gaze. "You expect me to believe that story, do you?"

Judging by the release of killer-intent, Sam thought it was obvious, but no words came. She simply nodded, unable to hide her shaking body.

"I-I'll answer any- any question you want," Tori blubbered between her coughing fit. "Just - just please don't hurt Sam - " She coughed harshly enough she nearly knocked her head into her kneecap even as she stretched out a pleading hand. "Or me..." ...Yeah, Victoria was not prepared for an interrogation. Obviously…Minato being intimidating was really the only thing that lead to her spilling the all and sundry beans about their unbelievable situation.

Minato delayed responding to her plea, allowing his intimidation to leave the two women quaking in their shoes. So much so, Samantha felt a drop of sweat fall down her temple. She was acutely aware of their delicate situation.

Then, Minato stepped back once, the tiniest of smiles crossing his features, allowing a quiet 'hmph' to grace his lips. "Well. If I had thought you were spies infiltrating Konoha before, with such eager desires to tell me everything you've been through, it's easy to see that you're severely untrained in torture and interrogation." At the word 'torture', Victoria gasped and kinda sunk down into a hunched puddle, drawing her arms into her coat like a literal turtle. "But some things you have revealed are troublesome," Minato added, not acknowledging Victoria's terrified turtle impression. A piece of paper appeared in his hand where the kunai had been. "However, if what you have said is true, then fate is playing a very dangerous game." He gazed intently at the paper, a deep frown on his face.

For the life of her, Samantha couldn't figure out why her most favorite character in the Naruto series - a living, breathing, human being standing right in front of her with very real abilities to kill them before they could even blink - was holding a piece of paper. The dim lighting made it even harder. Silence reigned in the room. Not even sounds from above them disturbed the quiet that now entranced the sound. _Why would he have a piece of- wait._ As Samantha thought back on the only conversation she and Victoria had had that spoke of the things Minato announced he heard, Sam recalled their worries about getting the parchment paper that their lives, and the lives of Naruto and Kakashi, depended on. Instantly, she had suspicions. "I-Is that…?"

"A piece of parchment paper?" The future Fourth Hokage finished for Samantha, "Yes it is."

Samantha opened her mouth a few times before her question gave voice, "But… how? Where?"

Minato simply raised an eyebrow, glancing around the empty space surrounding the three of them.

 _Is this…? Are we…_ under _the shrine!?_ Sam's mind shrilled.

After a futile attempt to return her arms to the sleeves, Tori slithered out of her coat all together and stumbled back up to her feet. "Is it - can I see it? I won't touch it, but can I just look at the… the handwriting?" Tori cowered slightly, like a puppy expecting to get reprimanded for tearing up the carpet.

Contemplating the parchment paper in his hand, Minato gave Sam and Tori a critical once over before he held the item in front of them both. Not for either of them to take, but allowed Victoria's suggestion, letting the two women to stare in astonishment at the parchment in his hand.

 _It's exactly like the other parchment pieces! This is what we've been searching for this entire time!_ Sam gawked, feeling her hands unconsciously reach for the textured paper. Minato, however, pulled back his hand, leaving Samantha slightly stunned that he would stall their 'mission' of sorts.

"After I hand you this piece of parchment, what will happen next?" Minato, it seemed, was not done with his interrogation.

"Well, we… we disappear in a flash of light…" Samantha unconsciously felt for the pearly ball she always kept on her person _just in case_.

"Well, maybe," Tori added. "Sometimes it's a few minutes later. Or if we've lost it again, then Boruto seems to give up on us and pull us away anyways." She had a quick mental flashback of Kakashi disappearing with the parchment scrap into the woods the night of graduation, and also of Jiraiya wiping toad slobber off of his recovered piece. "It seems that we only get one chance in the timeline to actually get it or not once we see it.."

"Yeah it does, doesn't it?" Sam agreed, mentally thinking about Kakashi taking their parchment. _Why in the world did he do that, anyway? It was important to us! And obviously he liked us, and tried to help us out. So… what would make him react so… strange?_ How were they to get that parchment back?

"Hmm," Minato said, seeming to be lost in thought himself.

"I… I can show you some proof that we come from a different world," Tori offered. "If that'd help you believe us. You can also see Boruto." Somehow they'd managed to keep the phone hidden from the actual real eighteen-plus adults. Only Kakashi, Rin, and Obito had seen the phone.

"Proof?" For the first time, Minato allowed a miniscule of emotion display in his voice. Surprise. If very short-lived.

Tori nodded. "I..have to get it out of my scroll," she said slowly. "Promise, not gonna do anything dumb, so please don't kill me." After the slight nod of Minato, who now looked a little intrigued, Tori carefully pulled her scroll out of the buttoned pocket of her black cargo pants. A week or two before, she and Sam had evenly split up all the Boruto supplies into two scrolls, so the whole scroll showed their weird English-marks. Right near the front was the seal for her phone. Victoria released it and powered up the slim device that got them in so much trouble. "This is a cell phone," she explained. "Where we live, everything is technology based using electricity and other external stimulus. No chakra. But a cell phone is a form of computer that is small enough and powerful enough for pretty much anyone to use. It can also store data at an insanely tiny level." Unlocking it with her fingerprint, she flipped to her photos and scrolled up to click on a photo from last Christmas that showed the snowy street of her parents' house with the magnificent Rocky Mountains cutting through the horizon. "This is where I grew up," she said, turning the phone around so Minato could see.

She then scrolled past a few more photos: just ordinary things like her niece dancing in front of the tv and her sixteen year old brother who sent a selfie with his car. There was a photo Sam had sent from a hiking trip that overlooked the entire valley they lived in with its miles and miles and miles of densely packed homes and streets and buildings. They were things that were normal on Earth, but totally foreign and unexpected to Konoha. "And this is what we found when we came here." The first picture was the ear and chin of the first Hokage carved into the mountain. Then there was a pic of Sam at the ninja school. Tori blushed, but didn't skip over things, so the next pic Minato saw was the slightly blurry covert shot of adult Kakashi reading while he stirred a pot of ramen. "That's, uh, Kakashi," she admitted, "He still wears the mask thing even as a jounin."

Minato stayed silent. Observing. Neither Victoria nor Samantha could tell what the future hokage was thinking. Then, he sighed. "I have seen enough. It's better not to tempt fate and risk the unknown." If Minato had ever heard of time-travel actually happening before in his world, he certainly wasn't willing to express his thoughts on the matter.

"So… will you give us that parchment paper? Because we won't be a bother to you or your team once we have it in our hands…" Samantha's hopeful tone left little to be interpreted.

"So much not a bother that we kinda won't exist. At least, not til the future.." Tori slowly tucked a strand of her very sweaty hair behind one ear. "We really weren't supposed to even be here this long. But we messed up and didn't know where the shrine was."

"Was being in the shrine necessary for your time-travel?" Minato asked.

"No!" Sam was quick to respond, as if trying to placate the devilishly handsome man. _Wow… thinking of his age… I probably shouldn't think like that but… his shinobi nature makes him such a sexy beast!_ Sam was still kinda stunned by the fact that Minato and Kushina were actually only nineteen years old. They seemed so much more mature than that. But it kinda made sense. They both died when they were only twenty-four and Kakashi was like twelve by that point.

"I see..." Glancing at the parchment in his hand, Minato contemplated for a moment longer, "But in order to leave, you need this parchment piece."

"Um, in the best scenario, yes?" Tori hedged hopefully.

"Are either of you aware of what this seal on the parchment does?"

"Ah. No." Samantha hesitated.

"I see." Minato said again, giving no indication of what he was thinking.

"It's a seal?" Victoria asked after a moment. "How can you tell? It's just a torn piece of it."

For the first time since they were all transported under the Kensaki shrine, Minato gave a hint of a smile. "If you don't know already, then I assume there is a reason. My lips are sealed." He then stepped forward, ignoring the subtle jolt Samantha gave at his approach - the intensity of their time together not quite yet forgotten - and indicated for one of them to take hold of the parchment.

After a second of hesitation, Victoria was the one to reach out and carefully take it. She then turned to Sam: the expression on Tori's face a confusing mix of relief and regret. "We, we got it," she said sounding a little stunned. She then nodded in the general direction of Sam's pocket. "Do you have the marble?"

Samantha fumbled out of her coat - a relief she should have done forever ago - hardly caring that her wet hair was dry enough to allow for static to emerge. Patting her hair quickly, Sam pulled out the marble, "Here it is!" She said, almost breathless.

Tori swallowed a bit hard at the sight of the innocuous ball. It was the thing that seemed to put them in danger a lot. Before reaching out to touch it, she turned back to Minato. "What will you tell them? The kids and Kushina? What will you tell them when we don't come home?"

The waned smile on Minato's perfect features nearly said it all, yet he spoke. "What they need to hear." And then he strode forward and placed a hand on the outside of Sam and Tori's shoulders. "Good luck, ladies, wherever you land. I'll wait for you to leave before I head back. Wouldn't want you two to get stuck under the shrine unnecessarily." This time Minato's brilliant smile was real as he stepped back.

Taking a breath, Samantha looked towards Tori, "So, you ready to do this?"

"Um, just a sec," Tori said, grabbing hers and Sam's coats off the floor. She also made sure her scroll and phone were both safely buttoned into her pocket along with the parchment scrap. As she did, the marble began its first faint, sparkly glow. Supplies safely handled, Tori pushed her hair back and then reached out, before touching the marble though, she looked back at Minato. "Will you at least tell them 'goodbye' for us?" she asked softly. "I - I know it seems weird when we were lying to them for so long and all, but - but I really care about those guys." Tori's throat went all weird and tight like it usually did when she felt like crying. "Especially that Obito kid. He seems like he just - just really needs a champion in his life for him right now, you know?"

Samantha waited to say anything, allowing Tori's words to speak for her as well. As the marble began to pulse a lot brighter, Samantha gave a head nod with her own wan smile to Minato, "Thank you." She said, her voice sounding more like that of an echo, "For everything."

"And tell Kakashi I'm sorry he lost his dad," Tori said, raising her voice as the light grew brighter and brighter. She grabbed Sam's hand, the marble linking their hands tighter together as it pulsed brighter and brighter waves of light. "Tell Rin her kindness makes her the strongest. And hurry up and marry Kushina already! But most of all, please tell Sar -" but whatever Victoria would have said to Minato was swallowed up in the last blaze of white light and then it was just Minato standing alone in the muggy darkness of the underground room.

* * *

It was a quiet, peaceful morning in the Grass Village. The moon was still hovering on the western horizon as though it just couldn't tear itself away from the sight of the soft, rose sunrise. Robins trilled their morning songs as they fluttered about, building safe nests for the eggs they would soon lay. In the older, dirtier parts of the city, a cheap inn was reluctantly waking as well, many of its temporary occupants groaning through hangovers and fumbling around to feel how empty their wallets were after another night of over-tipping the busty barmaids. One particular heathen had spent the night curled up in the pigpen, a bottle of sake still held tightly in his hand. The proprietress of the inn, smelling his approach, shooed Jiraiya the Toad Sage off the porch and around to the back doors that lead past the kitchen and to the inn's public bath. After a thorough dunking and rinsing the proprietress sniffed with satisfaction and sent the large and muscled shinobi back towards his room with a towel slung around his hips. "You can have your robes back when they smell less like a pig," she scolded him.

"Have Yoko be the one to deliver them to my room for me, Lady Koro," the shinobi said with a wink. "I think she still owes me a kiss from last night."

"It was the pig you bartered kisses with, you old fool," Lady Koro scolded, but her pursed lips twitched in amusement. "And you'll owe me 10,000 ryo's to rebuild that table you danced on."

Jiraya heaved a satisfied sigh at the reminder of the previous night's shenanigans. "You're the best inn in town, Lady Koro, but you drive a hard bargain. 20,000 for the table, the bath, and for you to send up some breakfast with my clothes. For me, and the kid."

The wrinkled features of the innkeeper split into a wide grin at the promised tip. "Your business is welcome anytime, Lord Jiraiya," she promised. "But move your arse before you get me fined for public indecency again." She thwacked her cane towards his legs, but the toad sannin jumped back in time, his mane of hair raining drops of water across the inn's floor. Lady Koro tsked her tongue. "Add 520 ryo's for mopping up this mess," she grumbled.

With a deep laugh, Jiraiya tromped up the stairs, heading back to the surprisingly decent room he had rented out for him and his new student. Sliding open the bamboo paper door he strode forward, barely glancing at the futon mattress where the fourteen-year-old Naruto was sprawled, his froggy nightcap pulled down tight over his spiky, yellow hair. But Jiraiya did a swift double take when he realized there was more than one head on the pillow.

Curled up on either side of the tiny genin were two grown women, fully dressed and fully asleep. The loud screech he gave would have woken up the entire inn had he not already placed privacy seals all over the room. Instead, he stood there with one hand pointing towards the three on the ground, the other loosely holding onto the only thing that kept him modest. His towel. All three were startled awake, looking groggily at the legendary sannin as he shouted "YOU TWO!"

* * *

 **A/N: SUP our amazing reader's! Ya'll are so freakin' amazing! Seriously. While we haven't any reviews, just looking at all the places that people are reading from is just so... wonderful that it makes both Tori and I just ecstatic to see how many places our story reaches. Thank you all for taking the time to read our story.**

 **Also! Just a funny side note. Tori and I tend to read this story outside to make sure that any mistakes we made are fixed (though, don't blame us if we missed any. We're... as the song by Kristina Perri "Only Human". xD Anyway... so... we're reading this out loud and Tori reads the part "None, yet" and it** _ **totally**_ **sounded like she said "nunya". Get it? Like... "nunya business!" bahahahaha it was amazing! Just thought ya'll might enjoy in the hilarity with me.**

 **Please read and REVIEW! :D :D :D Until next time!**


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